Introduction:
Galatians 6:1 - Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
How to Truly (and Lovingly) Help an Addict:
- Get the Facts .
- Biblical Confront .
See Proverbs 24:11 | Matthew 18:15-17
When Confronting the Addict...
DO NOT:
- Allow blame-shifting.
- Allow a victim mentality.
- Put the blame on yourself.
- Get emotional.
- Be an enabler.
- Look for instant change.
Hebrews 3:13 - But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
DO:
- Cry out to the Lord – for the addict and yourself.
- Get coaching - from a pastor and the police.
- Agree on the terms for helping - and the consequences for the addict not complying.
- Look for genuine repentance.
2 Corinthians 7:10 - For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
- Follow through with "Treatment".
What should the "treatment" include?
- Biblical counseling.
- Church and Small Group involvement. - not just attending – but being involved
- Constant accountability.
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:00-00:05
We were scheduled to have baptism next week.
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However, we have decided to temporarily postpone that, and we are going to reschedule that for some time in February.
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Why? Well, we have three people that are planning on being baptized, and two of them are actually out of continent right now.
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But the other reason, our elders had met this past Tuesday, and the elders had decided that with everything else going on next week, We're going to have Mission Mahi here after service.
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So that's where we're buying our lunch.
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We're going to have lunch together as a church family.
00:35-00:40
And the owner of Mission Mahi is going to be sharing his testimony as part of the service.
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We're going to have a special prayer element for addicts and families of addicts as part of our service.
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There's a whole lot of just great things happening next week, and the elders really felt like we didn't want baptism to sort of be squeezed in there on top of everything else.
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it deserves a place of special prominence in the service and attention and to take the time with that. So we decided with everything else going on next week we will be rescheduling baptisms for February. So we'll give you an update on when we get that date nailed down. So that will not be next week but there are plenty of other things happening next week. All right All right, let's turn to God's Word together in our series, "Done with Addiction." Formerly I was associate pastor of North Street Christian Church in Butler, and being a downtown church, a lot of times the local funeral homes would call us since we were downtown and non-denominational.
01:41-01:47
They would get somebody who had passed away but did not have a church home, no church affiliation, anything.
01:48-01:52
So they would call us and ask we would be willing to do the funeral.
01:53-02:00
And I'm going to be honest with you, those were difficult to walk in and not know a thing about the person, not even their name.
02:01-02:02
And those were hard.
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And some were much harder than others.
02:05-02:06
I remember one in particular.
02:07-02:09
There was a young girl, she was in her late 20's, I believe she was 28.
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She was in an accident and died, left behind a child.
02:13-02:38
And typically when I go into these situations, I want to find out some information about the person so that when I get up to share, like we're here to celebrate the life of this person, and I give some just general information, not pretending I knew them or anything, and that's obnoxious, but just some general things that I would actually say, you know, in talking to the family, even though I had not the pleasure of knowing the person, here's some things that I found out.
02:39-02:52
And I remember when this girl had died, I sat down with her dad, and I said, "Hey, I'd like to just give some general information." And then we sort of hand things over to the family for the more personal things.
02:53-03:05
I said, "What can you tell me about your daughter?" And this dad just sat at the table with me and wouldn't even really look at me, just kind of looked down and shrugged his shoulders a little bit.
03:05-03:08
And I don't really know what to say.
03:09-03:12
And I said, "Well, I'd like to share some general information, sir.
03:12-03:14
There's some things you can tell me about her.
03:15-03:21
"What were some of her hobbies?" He said, "Well, I don't know.
03:22-03:35
I don't really know about any hobbies." "Well, you've got to give me something to go with you." I didn't say that. I'm thinking, "You've got to give me something here, right?" So I'm like, "Well, was there something that she...
03:37-03:59
like some skill she had or something?" And he's like, "No, she didn't really have any talents." I said, "Was there anything at all that she liked to do?" And finally, I will never forget this, he finally looked up at me, looked me right in the eye, and he said, "She liked to do drugs." And I said, "Oh." I instantly saw what was going on here, right?
03:59-04:05
And we talked for a little bit more, so I was able to get, certainly you don't share that at the funeral, right?
04:05-04:07
But I sort of saw what was happening.
04:08-04:09
And I didn't know the back story.
04:10-04:17
I didn't know what led up to me sitting down with this dad, planning this girl's funeral.
04:18-04:27
But I'll say this, if you have a relationship with an addict, you have a responsibility to try to help her.
04:28-04:33
You have a responsibility to do what you can.
04:34-04:35
You have the responsibility.
04:37-04:48
Revelation 6:1 says, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.
04:49-05:06
Keep watching yourself lest you too be tempted." But look, church, just like last week's message wasn't some magic bullet with all the answers to every contingency about every scenario, it's the same thing with this week's message.
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I'm not going to presume that one sermon is going to cover the dynamics of dealing with every possible addict of every age or either gender or any substance or duration of addiction or just like last week, really this whole series.
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I just want to point to Jesus Christ and I want to encourage you and ultimately I want to give you hope.
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All right?
05:33-05:40
Here's where we're going today. How to truly and lovingly help an addict.
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Alright? So you find that person in your life you suspect may be addicted to something.
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What do I do? I just want to give you some principles that, again, not exhaustive, but I guarantee will point you in the right direction. And that's what we need, right?
06:00-06:20
So number one get the facts Number one is get the facts Now I can point to just a couple of times in my ministry that a few times That somebody has come to me and said pastor. You know, I need help. I have an addiction. I need help I need counseling. Would you please help me that is a very rare occurrence?
06:21-06:27
Because people usually prefer to cover their addictions at all costs. Why do they cover their addictions?
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I think we get this right they want to avoid conflict They have this fear of living without this substance. They're addicted to Here's the bottom line despite all of that. There's a shameful nature of addiction itself, right?
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You remember Adam in the Garden of Eden what happened right after he sinned he hid from God Sin has a way of doing that sin has a way of making us want to stay out of sight I don't want to face God.
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I don't want to think about...
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That's sin.
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That addicted person in your life, listen, they're doing the same thing.
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They are Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden all over again.
07:07-07:26
You know, it's funny how we can miss all of the clues that are all over the place, then when we eventually find out that somebody has an addiction, when we find out, however we find out, we're like, "How in the world did I not see that?" So it was a loved one battling a secret addiction, step one, get to facts. You need to look for clues.
07:26-07:45
Okay? And here's some areas to consider. Areas to consider, think about work. Have their work habits changed? Are they bringing less money home? Like, hey, where's all your money going, man? You've been working, but you have nothing to show for it. It's a clue, okay?
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for younger people school?
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Are their attendance slipping?
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Are their grades slipping?
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Oftentimes there's a list of excuses why the grades are slipping.
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That teacher just doesn't like me.
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That teacher's had it in for me from the beginning.
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And those are clues, all right?
08:05-08:06
What about relationships?
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If you notice that the person suddenly has a new peer group, like, where's all your old friends?
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I don't hang out with any of my old friends anymore.
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I got all these new friends.
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Clue? Very secretive, right?
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That's a big clue. Are they secretive?
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Where's your money going? Where's your time going?
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Who have you been with?
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And everything is very secretive.
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Everything is very ambiguous.
08:31-08:34
Work, school, relationships, another area to consider is spiritual.
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Have they seemed especially hardened to the truth lately?
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Caught lying.
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Avoiding worship. Avoiding small group.
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Avoiding fellowship.
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They're in the Garden of Eden again.
08:51-08:53
Physical. There's physical signs.
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Notice a sudden, dramatic loss of weight.
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Unusually tired. Horrible mood swings. Depressed.
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Now these are clues, not signs, okay?
09:06-09:08
These are clues, not signs.
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Here's one for your kids.
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A big clue is if you're dealing with teenagers, kids/young adults, a big clue, parents, you need to pay close attention to, is if your teenager is using legal drugs but underage.
09:30-09:37
This is going to sound so hokey, so square, so out of touch, but I want you to think about it before you throw anything at me.
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And people talk about marijuana being the gateway drug.
09:41-09:43
Marijuana is not the gateway drug.
09:43-09:47
The real gateway drugs are nicotine and alcohol.
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I want you to think about that.
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Like how is that a gateway drug?
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Because think about from a teenager's perspective, there's like this century in your mind, this guard that once you are willing to bypass that guard and allow for a teenager, that's an illegal substance.
10:06-10:10
And once you're willing to allow that illegal substance into your body, why not the next one, right?
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What difference does it make for a teenager?
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Illegal is illegal, right?
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Right? Whether it's a cigarette, whether it's marijuana, whether it's meth, whether it's coke, whatever.
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It's all illegal.
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So that can be the real gateway. Huge sign.
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So before anything else happens, you better be sure, okay?
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And if you are, number two, you need to biblically confront.
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Biblically confront.
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Nobody enjoys this part.
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Nobody enjoys this part.
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It's easy to sit back and watch.
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It's easy to get angry.
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It's easy to watch the person kill themselves.
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Just wish that something would happen.
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Boy, I sure hope something happens.
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And then you think, well, maybe I'll just wait for the addict to hit bottom.
10:59-11:00
Well, here's a newsflash for you.
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An addict never hits bottom, with one exception, death.
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Other than that, the addict never hits bottom.
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Losing all money, losing health, losing job, losing everything is not bottom for an addict.
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They will still find some way to feed the addiction.
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I told you last week, Aaron and I met this girl who was prostituting herself for drugs because she had nothing else to give except her body.
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You can't wait for the addict to hit bottom because bottom is not going to come until they die.
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Proverbs 24 11 speaks to the seriousness of this.
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Rescue those who are being taken away to death.
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Hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.
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Does that not sound like a charge from the Lord and intervening in the life of an addict?
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Love does hard things and love gets messy.
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Okay? It gets messy.
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And because a life is on the line, you just can't wait.
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You just can't sit back and say, "Let me see if there's a more opportune time for this." You can't do that.
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Especially if there's a child in danger.
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You can't wait.
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You need to call child protection services.
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If somebody's being physically abusive, you can't wait.
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You need to get the law and the church involved.
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We're on that in a minute.
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If someone's wrecking finances, especially the household finances, you can't wait.
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Maybe you need to have a trusted friend that all of the money goes to to manage the bills so that the addict isn't draining the account.
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So biblically confront.
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The principles for confronting an addict are the same principles.
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And dealing with someone who sins against you, we call it church discipline.
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Some of these principles are actually used in a secular way, called an intervention.
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But these principles here that we're going to look at are really for believers.
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We've talked about this before.
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You can take some principles from this and use for people that don't yet know the Lord, but as we talked about before, they have a much bigger problem than their addiction.
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They need to know Jesus Christ.
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And they do not have the power of the Holy Spirit or the authority of God's Word conquering the addiction. They need that before they need anything.
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Alright? Just so we're clear on that.
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Before that believer, before that professing believer began saying principles, Matthew 18 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.
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Between you and him alone.
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If he listens to you, you've gained your brother.
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If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you.
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That every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
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If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.
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And if he refuses to listen, even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
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Stop right there.
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Start alone.
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Go to the person alone and say, listen, I love you.
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I'm concerned about you.
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I'm concerned about your walk with Christ.
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I'm concerned about your health.
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I'm concerned about your life.
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And if the person is lying or denying, The next step is you need to bring along one or two others.
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If they're still lying and denying, says then you get the church involved.
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And I don't think that means you drag the person on the platform on a Sunday morning at 10, like hold on there and before worship starts, the church has to deal with this guy.
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I think it's talking about church leaders, representatives, elders, ministry team leaders, small group leaders.
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In any case, you need to get people who love the person.
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you have people who have first-hand witnessed specific events that are a result of the addiction, specific effects from the addiction, and you need to create a context where it's as easy as possible to tell the truth. You see, that's why the last step he says, if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. What does that mean? That means we have nothing to do with them. No, that's not what that means. That means we evangelize them. That means they're acting like somebody who doesn't know Jesus Christ. So you have to get with gospel 101 with those people. You need to biblically confront. Patterns laid out here. I want to give you some do's and do nots of confronting, okay? Because nobody likes this part. And it's really easy to do this in a terrible way. So let's do some do's and do nots. First of all, we're We're gonna do some do nots.
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When you confront the person, first of all, do not allow blame shifting.
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Do not allow blame shifting.
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We've talked about this before.
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The addict is gonna blame everybody else.
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It's because of the way my father treated me.
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It's because of my circumstances at school.
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It's because of this health issue I have.
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It's because of, it's because, look, you have to take responsibility here.
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We're talking about your actions.
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We're not gonna allow blame shifting, right?
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It was also Adam's tactic in the Garden of Eden, wasn't it?
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"The woman that you gave me, she..." Wow, Adam just blamed everybody else he knew.
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Eve and God.
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Think about it. At that point in history, Adam knew two people.
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Eve and God, and he blamed both of them for his sin.
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Don't allow blame shifting.
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Secondly, letter B, when confronting an addict, do not allow a victim mentality.
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Along the same lines, addicts love to think They're victims.
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It takes responsibility off their shoulders.
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It says, "It's not my fault.
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"I have a disease." That becomes emotional manipulation.
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This is the addict's way of trying to get a free pass to avoid confrontation.
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"How could you?
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"I have a disease." We're talking about the choices that you're making, right?
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Letter C.
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Okay, so don't allow blame shifting.
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We're not gonna allow victim mentality.
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This is a huge one.
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Those of you who love an addict, do not put the blame on yourself.
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Do not put the blame on yourself.
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And I've heard this so many times as a pastor.
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People say, "Oh, if only I was a better parent, she wouldn't have done that." "If only I was a better friend, he wouldn't have done that." "If only I'd stopped him from going to this place." "If only I made him cut off those relationships." And look, it's not your fault.
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It is not your fault.
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and nothing productive comes from trying to play what if.
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All you can deal with is what now?
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To say to the addict, do you love?
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To say, look, it doesn't matter how we got here, here we are, and now we focus on moving forward, now we focus on Jesus Christ, now we focus on getting this addiction behind us.
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Letter D, do not, these are still do nots, do not get emotional.
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Again, we don't want the addict to emotionally manipulate you.
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That's why when you confront, you need to be objective and you need to deal with facts.
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We're not gonna deal with tears and crying.
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We're not gonna deal with screaming and shouting to try to manipulate you into, like, "Hey, hey, we're gonna talk to each other like adults.
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"All right, we're gonna deal with facts.
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"All right, we're not dealing with feelings here, "we're dealing with facts.
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"Here's what's going on, here's what you're doing, "here's what it's costing, here's the result." And along with that, don't take anything personally, okay?
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Don't take it personally, because at this point, the addict is thrashing and grabbing at anything to try to emotionally rope you in to get you distracted from the real issue at hand.
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Don't bite, all right?
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I mean, don't bite the bait of getting, you know, somebody's going to think I meant don't bite the addict.
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Don't do that either, all right?
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unless they really, really deserve it.
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I don't know.
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I should have rehearsed this again, Mike.
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Sometimes things come out, and it just now hit me how somebody could have heard that.
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Like, "What did you learn at church today?" "Oh, the pastor said if I know somebody that's an addict, I shouldn't bite them." That's some deep theology there.
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Alright, don't bite the bait.
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I'm getting emotional.
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Okay, don't be an enabler.
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Here's the next do not.
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Do not be an enabler.
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I'll talk about this for a couple minutes.
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This is another very easy trap to fall into.
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Do not be an enabler.
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You cannot please the addict unless you are helping feed the addiction in some way.
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That is called enabling.
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What is enabling?
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Enabling includes things like giving money.
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That's the most common.
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"You just bought me 20.
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Hey, can you lend me 50 bucks so I can get my next paycheck?
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Hey, can you?
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Look man, I really need you.
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Can you give me 100 bucks?" Another way of enabling with money is paying their bills.
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Like, "I'm really strapped for cash.
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Can you cover my car payment this month and I'll pay you back?" You know, I'd give rides.
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Enabling includes giving rides, places.
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Covering for them.
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You know, I know they're supposed to be at school or work and they were strung out, high, wasted, whatever, and I'm just going to cover for them.
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That's enabling.
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by any means that allows the addict to continue to feed the addiction.
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Because at this point, until the addict is ready to repent, their relationship with you is contingent on how much you help them.
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Because if the addict views you as an obstacle to feeding their addiction, they're going to manipulate you.
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Or they'll avoid you.
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Or they'll lie to you.
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Or they'll ignore you if they see you as an obstacle.
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If they see you as an enabler, if they see you as an enabler and they think that they can get something out of you, they will try to get something out of you.
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I know of an addict who lied to his mother, told his mother he had cancer, and he needed $500 to make trips to Pittsburgh to see the doctor.
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When a mother hears that her son has cancer, I mean, moms, what do you think?
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Like, "Oh my gosh, whatever it takes to get you the treatment!" and he never had to. It was just a way of getting money.
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Horrible. If enabling is such a I mean obviously such a thing, why do people enable addicts? Why would people do that? Well the truth is some enablers like this type of relationship because they want any type of relationship so bad, any form that I can get the relationship. Like look, you know what, I probably shouldn't be giving him You know, cash when he comes, but otherwise he won't come and I won't see him at all.
21:50-22:00
Other enablers like being in control, they think, you know, maybe I have a foot in the door of controlling the person if they keep coming to me for help.
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But the bottom line, church, enabling is destructive.
22:04-22:11
It allows and it helps the addict's idolatry, and it makes you, as the enabler, it makes you part of the problem.
22:12-22:23
So you need to be ready. If you are unwilling to give, to enable, you need to be ready for a backlash.
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They're going to blow up. You know, when you refuse to give them money, they'll blow up.
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"How dare you? Who do you think you are? You're so judgmental. I thought you of all people would..." It's emotional manipulation.
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Or, they're not gonna blow up, they'll clam up.
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They'll withdraw, they'll withhold any type of relationship, any type of affection, they'll act sad.
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It's manipulation.
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Do not enable.
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Then do not, do not, letter F, do not look for instant change, okay?
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Change is a process, not an event.
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Change isn't a light switch.
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Now yes, the choice to change happens in a moment, absolutely, but think about embracing a new mindset and cementing new habits.
23:13-23:16
That takes time. It takes time.
23:17-23:29
Hebrews 3.13 says, "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." It's a daily battle. You have to focus on the day that you're given, one day at a time.
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We're just going to focus on today.
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But what's going to happen with this addict next week or next year?
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I'm not worried about that.
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Today, today, just thinking about right now, right?
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Those are some do nots. Let's talk about some do's.
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Do, do cry out to the Lord for the addict and for yourself.
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You need the Holy Spirit's help in confronting the addict.
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You need everything the Holy Spirit brings.
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Letter B, do get coaching.
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And I would say get coaching from a pastor and the police.
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This is so important, because if you find out somebody's an addict, you're like, "I have no idea what to do." I would say, "You need to talk to two people.
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You need to talk to a pastor and you need to talk to a policeman." Get spiritual and legal help to discuss the best course of treatment when the addict is ready to repent.
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Now, when I say talk to a policeman, I don't mean I'm going downtown to file a report.
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I'm like, do you have a friend that's a cop?
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Go to them for some advice.
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You don't know someone?
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I bet you know someone that knows someone that's a cop.
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I know a lot of police officers, come and see me.
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I think it's important to get some advice from somebody in that capacity to say, hey, look, man, this is new territory for me.
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We got cops in this church, right?
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Like this is new territory for me and I'm not sure what to do.
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Can you give me some advice?
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Because the last thing you want to do is somehow be involved in something illegal.
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Get yourself in trouble.
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Pastor and police advice. Get a plan together.
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Once you talk to the pastor, once you talk to the police to say, "Look, I'm trying to help this guy, but I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know the best way to help this guy. Can we put a plan together?" The pastor and the police will be able to help you with that.
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Letter C.
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Now this is with the addict that you're confronting.
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Let's say they're like, "You know what? Okay, I do need help.
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I do need you, you're right, I need some help, and I don't know where to go.
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Letter C, agree on the terms for helping.
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Agree on the terms for helping, I'm gonna help you and here's how it's gonna be.
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Not, what do you think's gonna happen?
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It's, here's how it's going to be.
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And you need to discuss the consequences for the addict not complying.
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Like, look, I'm going to help you and here's how we're going to help you.
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Like, well, I don't wanna do it that way.
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Well, if you're not gonna play ball, here's how it's gonna be.
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Here are the consequences if you don't do it this way.
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There's no wiggle room here.
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That's why I would encourage you to draw up a written contract.
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To say, look, I'm going to do everything I can to help you, but you, look Ben, you've gotta play ball here.
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You've gotta play ball.
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And here are the terms, and you're gonna sign this.
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That if you violate this, we're done here.
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You can't be playing around.
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Written contract, letter D, look for genuine repentance.
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Look for genuine repentance.
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Genuine, why?
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because everything that's valuable has counterfeit.
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2 Corinthians 7.10 says, "For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret.
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Whereas worldly grief produces death." This is a whole other sermon series, but here's the short version.
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There's two types of sorrow.
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There's worldly sorrow and there's godly sorrow.
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Worldly sorrow is, "I'm sorry I got caught." Right?
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"Oh, I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt by that." I'm not sorry that I committed the sin, I'm just sorry that I have to face consequences from people that I'd rather not face right now.
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This is an inconvenience to me to continue my addiction.
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And I'm sorry I got caught.
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That's worldly sorrow.
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Very clearly, Paul told the Corinthian church, that leads to death.
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That doesn't go anywhere good, OK?
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But godly sorrow leads to repentance.
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What is godly sorrow?
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You know what, I'm sorry, I offended God.
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I offended God's people.
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I want to honor God by turning from my sin and turning to God, not playing games, getting right with Jesus Christ.
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That's godly sorrow or godly grief.
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So as you're working with the addict, you need to know the difference, right?
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The huge difference between regret, remorse, and repent.
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Regret - we've talked about this before.
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This part's just for you.
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Regret is "I'm sorry" in my head.
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Like, "I made a mistake and I shouldn't have done that." That's regret.
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Remorse is emotional.
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Like, "Oh, I should have done that.
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I can't feel bad that I did that." That's remorse.
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You know what repentance is?
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Repentance is the act.
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Repentance is, "I'm not doing that anymore!
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I'm doing something different!" That's repentance.
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And until you get to that place, there's not real repentance.
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So if they're ready to repent, praise the Lord.
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And you're going to see if it's real repentance once you begin to implement the strategy you worked out your pastor and police friends. The words and the actions of the addict are going to reflect a very different heart attitude. Three things you need to look for them willing to be responsible, them being grateful, and them being submissive. All three of those have to be there, responsible, grateful, and submissive. That's the heart of a repentant person. Don't expect them to be perfect, to never sin again. That's not going to happen. You need to look for progress you need to look for their words interactions to line up truly seeking to bear fruit in keeping with repentance as the Bible says in Matthew 3 8 and Luke 3 8 bear fruit in keeping with repentance number three let me handle one more are you like I'm done number three follow through with treatment I put treatment in quotes I didn't know a better word anybody get a better word for this treatment strategy for overcoming Addiction anybody got a better word than treatment shout it out soul care. That's a good one mark What did you say tough love should have called you guys before I get up to do this live?
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All right, we're gonna go with that. We're gonna go with soul care rich. Well follow through with soul care What should the soul care include?
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What should it include again? No one plan is going to fit every addict every scenario Whether it's your teenage kid, your 20-something year old niece, your co-worker, your peer, your spouse.
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There's no one-size-fits-all thing here.
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That's why I said get your coaching from your pastor, the police, small group leader, elder, mature Christian friend, whatever, whatever, whatever.
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But, all that said, any plan you choose has to have some key elements. I'm going to give you three quickly.
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Any plan you choose has to have some key elements, and the first one is biblical counseling.
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The addict needs to meet with a pastor or a biblical counselor regularly to work on the put-on stuff that we talked about.
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And I would also encourage a local church AA alternative.
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Many large churches, even in this area, offer some sort of a biblical AA.
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Our church at this point in our life, we do not offer that, but there are many wonderful churches in this area that do, and the addict needs to be a part of that.
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If you're like, "Well, what if the addiction is so bad they need to go residential, like go stay someplace for a while?" There are a lot of wonderful Christian Bible-based programs, Teen Challenge, Freedom Farms, His Steps Ministries.
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There are a lot of great Christian Bible-based residential programs, biblical counseling.
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Secondly, church and small group involvement.
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I would say not just attending, being involved in church and in small group, rubbing shoulders with the people that are going to love them and encourage them.
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And then thirdly, last thing, any course of treatment, soul care, tough love, whatever you call it, it should include constant accountability.
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Constant accountability.
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That's why there's one plan that's laid out in a book called Divine Intervention.
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and if you're interested, I can give you a copy.
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But the plan is to have the addict live with you for a season.
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The addict lives with you for three to six months to get all of this constant accountability and care.
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And you're like, well, that sounds awfully inconvenient.
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Well, it is.
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But it models selflessness and it's an extremely effective plan.
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'Cause you can have daily Bible study, daily prayer.
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You can daily be discussing what the Lord is teaching, what the Lord is doing.
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But in any case, for the addict, Everything has to be done in the open.
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No more secrets.
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No more money disappearing.
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No more "you were gone for a couple of days and I had no idea where you were." We are done. We are done with that.
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If we're going to do it, we're going to do it right.
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You sit back and look at all this, and you're like, "Man, that seems like a mountain." It is.
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Enslaving, idolatry that could at any moment that result in a person's death, praying that you don't get that phone call every day, praying you don't get that call.
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We found this person.
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It seems like a mountain, and it is.
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But as Christians, as followers of Christ, we don't rely on self-help.
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We don't rely on willpower.
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We don't rely on trying to conjure up some sort of a strength from within.
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rely on the Holy Spirit.
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And to truly help an addict, not only does he need the Lord's power and his church, but so do you.
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Is there anything that she liked?
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She liked to do drugs.
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I think about that dad a lot.
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And I don't know what efforts were made.
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But I'm sure that not a day goes by that dad didn't wish he did more to try to stop her.
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I think about that with our own nephew.
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Constantly, is there something we could have said?
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Is there something we could have done?
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This applies to every single person who's ever lost a loved one to an addiction.
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And while we can't take the responsibility for someone else's struggles, we are responsible for being Christ's ambassador to the addict.
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"Oh, that's all well and good, Pastor Jim.
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"Everything you're saying is well and good, "but what if they just don't want help?" next week and I'll tell you.
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And also next week together as a church we're going to do the absolute best thing that we can do for that addict who isn't ready to get help.
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All right?
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Let's pray.
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Father in heaven, you've given us so many principles in your word and I feel like I barely scratched the surface.
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I pray today, Father, that we have enough here to at least give us some hope and encouragement, to point us in the right direction, to help us realize, Father, that while addiction is powerful, your Holy Spirit is even more powerful.
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Your Word is even more powerful.
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Choices can be made to move from being a slave to a substance to being a slave to righteousness.
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Father, I pray for everyone here and everyone who's going to be listening to this online.
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You would give us incredible wisdom in ministering to the addict in our lives.
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You would give us incredible patience and compassion.
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Father, you would put the right people on our paths that are going to encourage us in the ways that we need it.
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But most of all, Father, we thank you for the presence of your Holy Spirit and ask that you would teach us, even while we're encouraging the addict to rely on the power of the Spirit, Father, teach us in a special way what it means to walk in the power of Your Spirit.
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We pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Small Group Discussion
Read any of the passages from this week’s message
What was your big “take-away” from the message?
Specifically, what are some clues that someone has an addiction?
How do you know if an addict truly wants to repent? Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. What’s the difference between “godly grief / sorrow” and “worldly grief / sorrow”?
What are some ways that people (unwittingly) enable addicts? Why is that such an easy trap to fall into?
How do you know what course of “treatment” is best for an addict (residential, group therapy, living with a believer, etc)?
Breakout
Pray for one another to be able to recognize, and truly help, an addict that may be in your lives.