Marriage

What If I'm Not in a Biblical Marriage?

Introduction:

Matters of Marriage: A Word for Each of You. (1 Corinthians 7:8-16)

  1. Singles: Enjoy the GIFT of SINGLENESS or GET MARRIED. (1 Cor 7:8-9)

    Single & Want to Get Married? 3 Don'ts:

    1. Don't SETTLE.

    2. Don't Look for the RIGHT PERSON.

    3. Don't Seek MARRIAGE – Seek LOVE.

  2. Married Christians: STAY MARRIED. (1 Cor 7:10-11)

  3. Married to a NonChristian (Who Wants to Stay Married): STAY MARRIED. (1 Cor 7:12-14)

  4. Married to a NonChristian (Who Wants to Leave): LET THEM GO. (1 Cor 7:15-16)

    Romans 7:2For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

    Matthew 19:8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce...”

    Matthew 19:9 - “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:36-00:39

    Open up those Bibles, 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

    00:41-00:42

    Chapter 7.

    00:44-00:47

    We're in the third section of 1 Corinthians.

    00:48-00:51

    Chapters 1 through 4 is about unity.

    00:52-00:54

    Like church, get it together.

    00:56-00:58

    Chapters 5 and 6 are about purity.

    01:01-01:08

    And then when we get to chapter 7 verse 1, you see that Paul is addressing some questions that they had.

    01:10-01:17

    And the first subject of this Q&A session is marriage.

    01:20-01:22

    So that's where we are.

    01:22-01:24

    We go where the text takes us.

    01:24-01:33

    I'm going to ask that you would please just quiet your heart before the Lord for a moment and pray for me to be faithful to communicate God's Word.

    01:33-01:44

    This is a passage that is going to get a reaction, and it's not about really my opinion or your opinion, it's what did God actually say?

    01:45-01:46

    That's what we're going after, right?

    01:48-01:52

    So pray for me to be faithful to clearly communicate what God said.

    01:52-01:57

    I will pray for you to have a heart open to receive what it is that God said.

    01:57-01:59

    All right, let's just take a moment and pray.

    02:02-02:16

    Our Father in heaven, I know that many times in my life I've had strong opinions about things that have had to change because of what your Word says.

    02:22-02:26

    Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what any of us think, Father, It only matters what you think.

    02:27-02:42

    So I just pray that you would give us wisdom, that you would eliminate any distractions in our hearts and minds so we can just lock into what your Word has to say here.

    02:44-02:45

    It's for the glory of your name.

    02:46-03:00

    We pray in Jesus' name, and all of God's people said, "Amen." If you've been with us at all through our series in 1 Corinthians, we've seen that everything was a mess, right?

    03:00-03:06

    So now Paul's talking about marriage and no surprise, marriage was a mess.

    03:07-03:09

    We talked about this last week.

    03:09-03:16

    There were people strong on the single side and there were people strong on the marriage side.

    03:16-03:17

    Which one is good?

    03:17-03:21

    And the answer is both of them are good.

    03:23-03:28

    Marriage was a mess in Corinth, and if we're going to be honest, we're not doing so hot here today either.

    03:31-03:38

    As I was preparing this, I get an email that has just short news articles in it and updates and things like that.

    03:39-03:42

    And I just read this on Friday, I wanted to share part of this article with you.

    03:43-03:50

    This is the newest craze, I haven't heard of this one, maybe you have, but the newest craze is divorce rings.

    03:51-03:52

    Have you heard of divorce rings?

    03:53-03:54

    Raise your hand if you've heard of divorce rings.

    03:55-03:57

    Okay, a couple of you have, all right.

    03:58-04:04

    This is new as far as this article told us, but I just want to read part of it.

    04:04-04:18

    It says, "The diamond ring Alex Weinstein," that's a female, "wears every day is a reminder that once upon a time she said, "I do," these days she happily says she does not.

    04:20-04:45

    Weinstein got divorced last March and tossed her engagement ring in a drawer for a few months. Then the Tampa, Florida-based content creator decided to make herself a divorce ring. She reset a radiant three-carat stone from her ex- husband into gold, turning it east to west in a bezel." I should have looked up what that meant.

    04:45-04:46

    Anybody know what a bezel is?

    04:47-04:48

    Okay, nobody?

    04:49-04:50

    All right, I shouldn't have said anything, huh?

    04:51-04:53

    I was safe until I just said that.

    04:53-04:55

    All right, noted.

    04:55-04:56

    That helps me for the second service.

    04:58-05:07

    The shame and stigma, the article goes on, "The shame and stigma of divorce has been replaced for some women with empowerment and celebration.

    05:10-05:17

    While diamond rings have long been a cultural signifier of marriage, some women are also choosing to mark the end of their matrimonies with a little bling.

    05:21-05:26

    Weinstein says, "I'm not proud of getting divorced, but I am proud of putting myself first.

    05:28-05:34

    Why shouldn't I celebrate this chapter of my life?" Why am I sharing this article with you?

    05:36-05:49

    Because I think if anything sort of personifies how far we have drifted as a culture from God's ideal, I think this kind of nails it.

    05:50-05:53

    We are celebrating divorce.

    05:55-05:56

    We are celebrating it!

    06:00-06:04

    You know, we look at Corinth and we're like, "Man, those people were messed up." Us people are messed up.

    06:08-06:20

    Back to Corinth, though, some would say...some in Corinth had said, "Excuse me." Some said, "You know, being single is actually being more devoted to God." And they actually had married people get a divorce.

    06:21-06:36

    Like, "Hey, you'll be more devoted to God if you get the divorce." And then there were some that said, "Look, if you want to be devoted to God, you can't have intimate relations with a woman.

    06:36-06:48

    So if you want to stay married, just don't have any intimacy." Those were some of the thoughts they had in Corinth, and both of those are wrong.

    06:50-06:54

    In the previous passage, again, Paul said, "Staying single is good.

    06:54-06:56

    Marriage is good.

    06:56-06:59

    And intimacy in marriage should be a regular thing.

    07:03-07:05

    But what if I'm not in a biblical marriage?

    07:09-07:12

    What I mean is, what if I'm not married to a Christian?

    07:13-07:29

    I mean, you could go through the last couple of messages and say, "Oh, that's well and good for two people who love Jesus Christ, have the Word of God as their authority, and Oh yeah, like easy for them.

    07:31-07:33

    But what about me, Paul?

    07:34-07:38

    My spouse isn't a believer, so what am I supposed to do?

    07:40-07:41

    Should I just get a divorce?

    07:44-07:44

    What should I do?

    07:46-09:17

    Well, in this section we're looking at today, Paul clarifies matters of marriage addressing everyone in the church. Literally everyone in the church and everyone in this church. So this is kind of a good news/bad news thing. We're not having one sermon today. You're like, "All right, we are having four sermons today. All right, four sermons." Because each of these are very specifically addressed to a different group. So first up, matters of marriage, a word for each of you. You can take notes on the other ones if you like, but pay attention into the category you fall. Number one, singles. Singles, a word for you, here it is. Enjoy the gift of singleness or get married. Enjoy the gift of singleness or get married. All right, so if you're here and you're single, if you're streaming and you're single, if for you. All right? If you're single, enjoy that if it's a gift or get married. Look at verse 8. Paul says, "To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am." Unmarried for any reason, right? Paul, once again, this is a We're going to go through this quickly.

    09:18-09:19

    We talked all about this last week.

    09:19-09:21

    Paul said being single is good.

    09:23-09:23

    Right?

    09:23-09:24

    Being single is good.

    09:24-09:26

    Why is he circling back to that?

    09:26-09:34

    Because there were Jews in Corinth that said, "You couldn't be holy unless you were married." That was a common Jewish mindset in that day.

    09:35-09:36

    You couldn't be holy unless you were married.

    09:36-09:41

    Paul's like, "That's not true." All right?

    09:41-09:43

    It's a gift for some people.

    09:45-09:47

    And Paul listed himself as one of those people.

    09:48-09:50

    Paul here very clearly says that he was single.

    09:51-09:52

    Like what happened to Paul?

    09:52-09:52

    Did he get a divorce?

    09:53-09:54

    Did his wife leave him?

    09:54-09:55

    Is he a widower?

    09:56-09:57

    We have no idea.

    09:59-10:03

    We don't know the details, but we know from this verse that he was single.

    10:06-10:07

    Okay, so single people, listen.

    10:10-10:27

    not denying that there are pressures to being single that married couples do not have. Things like loneliness, things like trying to manage a household yourself.

    10:28-10:34

    There are pressures that single people experience that married people don't.

    10:35-10:39

    But Paul is reminding the single people again, it is not wrong.

    10:40-10:44

    You don't have to feel like you're a second-rate Christian because you're not married.

    10:44-10:46

    It is not wrong.

    10:46-10:51

    And we're going to see later in this chapter, there are actually some advantages to being single.

    10:52-10:54

    All right, but look at verse 9.

    10:56-11:05

    He says, "But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.

    11:06-11:16

    For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." So Paul's like, "Okay, you're single, but you have those urges.

    11:19-11:20

    You can't control yourself.

    11:20-11:23

    You like want to be with a person so badly.

    11:24-11:27

    Like you found that being single really isn't for you.

    11:27-11:28

    What should I do?

    11:28-11:29

    Paul's like, get married.

    11:30-11:31

    Get married.

    11:32-11:35

    He says it's better to marry than to burn.

    11:36-11:37

    Again, we talked about this last week.

    11:37-11:40

    If you have the gift of singleness, you aren't burning.

    11:42-11:47

    But if you have those desires, God gave the right context to use them.

    11:48-11:49

    That's why he says get married.

    11:50-11:50

    Get married.

    11:50-11:54

    You have the passion, you have the desire, get married.

    11:57-12:07

    I've got to say a couple of things about that, unless somebody runs out of here today, runs right across the street to Pantera Bread, and is like, "Look, Pastor Jeff said to get married.

    12:07-12:10

    Are you single?" No, okay, "Are you single?" "No, I'm going to find somebody.

    12:10-12:11

    Pastor Jeff said to get married.

    12:12-12:12

    It's right in the Bible.

    12:13-12:15

    I've got to find somebody today." Let's pump the brakes for a second.

    12:17-12:17

    All right?

    12:17-12:21

    If you're single and you want to get married, I'm going to give you three don'ts here, all right?

    12:23-12:27

    He says to get married, yes, but I want to caution you on a couple of things here.

    12:27-12:28

    Three don'ts.

    12:29-12:30

    Letter A, don't settle.

    12:32-12:33

    Don't settle.

    12:36-12:38

    I know being single can be hard.

    12:39-12:40

    Do you know what's harder than being single?

    12:42-12:44

    Being married to the wrong person.

    12:46-12:54

    Rushing into a marriage, not really knowing somebody, not understanding they don't really love you, they don't really love the Lord as they should.

    12:58-13:02

    It is absolutely heartbreaking how many times I've seen that.

    13:02-13:14

    Somebody wanting marriage so badly that the first single person that comes along that looks eligible and there's some kind of interest, we're rushing right into it, and oh, the regret that comes from that.

    13:15-13:16

    I've made a huge mistake.

    13:17-13:18

    What do I do now?

    13:20-13:30

    settle. Letter B, don't look for the right person. Don't look for the right person.

    13:34-14:46

    Like, wait a minute, you just said it was bad to be married to the wrong person, now you're telling me not to look for the right person? Yeah, don't look for the right person. You need to focus on trying to be the right person, all right? Try to to be the right person. In the early days of this church when we were really teeny tiny we had a single guy that came to me. He came up to me, he goes, "Pastor Jeff, I think I'm going to go to another church." I'm like, "Oh, why? What's the matter?" He goes, "I love this church so much, but I really want to meet somebody and I just really want to get married." Not a lot of single people in that tiny church. And I said, "That's a terrible way to pick a church. You know, who's got the best single scene? I said, "That's a terrible way to pick a church." I said, "You need to find a church where God is feeding you and where God is using you. You find a church where that's happening, you trust God to do the rest." He's like, "You're right." He goes, "You're right." And it wasn't long after that he did find a single lady, even in her teeny tiny church, and they're married. They since moved away and they have like, I I don't know, 20 or 25 kids, I don't know.

    14:47-15:03

    But the point was he was willing to trust God and seeking God first and seeking to be the person worth marrying, not just trying to find the right person for him.

    15:04-15:06

    So try to be the right person for somebody else.

    15:08-15:12

    Letter C, I read this great advice from a pastor this past week.

    15:12-15:19

    He said, "Don't seek marriage, seek love." Don't seek marriage, seek love.

    15:20-15:24

    Because ultimately, you're going to marry the person that you fall in love with.

    15:26-15:27

    All right?

    15:27-15:33

    So when Paul here says, "Look, if you have the desire," he goes, "Don't burn with passion." He goes, "Go get married.

    15:33-15:41

    Go get married." But again, let's temper that with, let's not rush into anything.

    15:43-15:44

    It's going to bring regret.

    15:45-15:52

    God has called you, God has called all of us to be content and thankful in every chapter of life we find ourselves.

    15:54-15:56

    So singles, this sermon's for you.

    15:56-15:58

    Enjoy the gift of singleness or get married.

    15:59-15:59

    All right?

    16:02-16:04

    All right, next sermon.

    16:04-16:06

    This is for married Christians.

    16:07-16:09

    Are you and your spouse both Christians?

    16:10-16:38

    a word for you. Stay married. Very simple. Very simple. Look at verse 10. Paul says, "To the married I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband." Not separate, obviously, he's talking about divorce. So he's talking here specifically to Christian couples.

    16:40-16:46

    We know this because he talks about mixed couples in verse 12.

    16:46-16:49

    And by the way, let's get this out of the way.

    16:50-16:56

    When we talk about mixed couples, or we talk about intermarrying, that has nothing to do with race.

    16:58-17:00

    There's only one race, there's the human race.

    17:01-17:10

    So as long as you're marrying another human of the opposite sex, oh, the things I didn't think I'd have to say.

    17:14-17:15

    Race doesn't matter.

    17:15-17:16

    Okay?

    17:16-17:21

    So when we talk about mixed marriages, biblically there is no such thing except for mixed faith.

    17:22-17:26

    That's what the Bible forbids, mixed faith marriages.

    17:26-17:28

    He talks about them in a second, all right?

    17:28-17:29

    I felt like I had to say that.

    17:35-17:50

    So Christian couples, Paul says, "I get a word for you," he goes, "not I, but the Lord." Meaning Paul's like, "Look, what I'm about to tell you came straight from the mouth of Jesus Christ Himself." This is the Lord's charge, all right?

    17:52-17:57

    The Lord's charge is, Christian couples, no divorce.

    17:59-18:00

    Divorce isn't an option.

    18:00-18:02

    Divorce isn't a word that's said in your home.

    18:04-18:10

    Jesus talked about this so many times, Matthew 5, Matthew 19, Mark 10, Luke 16.

    18:11-18:15

    Jesus taught over and over that marriage is meant to be lifelong.

    18:16-18:16

    All right?

    18:18-18:45

    So we're going to try you out for a year or two, if it's not going to work, we have our exit strategy. That's not how marriage is designed according to our Lord. Marriage is meant to be lifelong. And remember, there were some Corinthians that thought, "Yeah, but if you really want to be devoted to God, you've got to get a divorce." And Paul here is just saying, "You know, God's not on board with that." I mean, just imagine for a second.

    18:48-19:08

    for a second if that sentiment was legitimate. Let's just pretend for a second that you could be more devoted to God, you could be more devoted to Jesus if you got a divorce. Do you see what would happen? Everyone that's looking for an out would just use that excuse.

    19:11-19:13

    They'd be like, "You know what, sweetheart?

    19:14-19:27

    I think we should get a divorce because I just want to love Jesus more." Right?

    19:27-19:28

    It'd start a new phrase.

    19:28-19:36

    It would be, "It's not you, it's Him." Right?

    19:36-19:37

    But that was the mindset they had.

    19:37-19:38

    And Paul's like, "No, no, no, no.

    19:40-19:42

    The words of our Lord are quite clear.

    19:43-19:52

    Don't get a divorce." But then you have the person that's like, "Oh, Paul, I wish you would have wrote this letter two weeks ago, because I did buy it.

    19:52-19:53

    You know what?

    19:53-20:00

    Yeah, we are both believers, but I bought into the idea that getting a divorce would benefit my walk.

    20:00-20:05

    So what do you do if you are both Christians and you did get a divorce?

    20:05-20:09

    What do you do about that?" Well, look at verse 11.

    20:09-20:18

    He says, "But if she does get a divorce, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.

    20:21-20:28

    And the husband should not divorce his wife." Okay, so if you're like, "You know what?

    20:28-20:33

    I did get the divorce, and now looking back, we are both believers.

    20:33-20:37

    I shouldn't have done that." Paul goes, "Okay, well now you have two choices.

    20:37-20:58

    You're either unmarried the rest of your life, or go back to your husband and get back on track." Like, "I'm not sure that's possible." Well, if you're both Christians, forgiveness and healing and reconciliation should not be foreign concepts to you.

    21:01-21:04

    So if you and your spouse are both Christians, stay married.

    21:06-21:07

    All right?

    21:07-21:11

    And as we saw last week, verse 3, married Christian couples, pay your debt.

    21:13-21:13

    All right?

    21:14-21:16

    I know that's the sermon that always gets applied.

    21:16-21:20

    I know the nursery is going to be restocked in about nine months.

    21:21-21:21

    I know.

    21:24-21:25

    So married Christians.

    21:26-21:26

    All right.

    21:27-21:33

    This is where things get even more difficult.

    21:35-21:39

    This is addressed to those of you who are married to a non-Christian.

    21:39-21:44

    And I know there are some people in this church that are married to a non-Christian.

    21:46-21:49

    But this non-Christian wants to stay married.

    21:49-22:02

    Okay, you're like, "Yeah, my husband's not a believer, or my wife's not a believer, and Like, she's okay with me being a believer, and she's okay with me going to church, and she wants to stay married, so what do I do?

    22:02-22:03

    What do I do here?

    22:06-22:11

    God says, "Stay married." Stay married.

    22:14-22:21

    You know, back in, look at the, back in chapter 6 verse 15, we talked about this a couple of weeks ago.

    22:21-22:32

    Paul says, talking about those who were being sexually immoral with the cult prostitutes, he says, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?

    22:33-22:37

    Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?

    22:38-23:01

    Never." You see, there would have been some that heard this principle like, "Okay, so me physically being with a prostitute is like defiling for me, so what about me physically being with a non-Christian spouse?

    23:02-23:13

    Well, me being intimate, I mean, isn't it the same principle that I am defiling my body because I'm in this mixed marriage?

    23:14-23:16

    We have different faiths?

    23:18-23:20

    That's the question on the table.

    23:23-23:32

    Regarding mixed marriages, meaning one's a believer and one's not, you're like, "What do you do?" Well, first of all, it's forbidden, single people.

    23:34-23:42

    Second Corinthians 6.14, if you're single, listen, if you're single, you are not to get married to a non-Christian.

    23:45-23:46

    Corinthians 6.14.

    23:48-23:50

    You are not to get married to a non-Christian if you're single.

    23:52-23:54

    If you can prevent this, you should prevent this.

    23:55-24:03

    That people think, "Well, I'm going to get married to the person and I'll save them, and I'm going to be such a good influence on them," and it usually works the other way.

    24:07-24:12

    So if you're single, you are not to marry a non-Christian.

    24:13-24:23

    So all right, now with that out of the way, the question is, "Well, what if we were married as non-Christians and I got saved and he didn't get saved?" Or vice versa, man.

    24:23-24:26

    You're like, "Well, I got saved and my wife didn't get saved.

    24:26-24:29

    What do we do?" Well, look at verse 12.

    24:29-24:54

    He says, "To the rest I say, 'I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her." By the way, when he says here, "I, not the Lord," you know what some people do with that, right?

    24:55-25:11

    They're like, "Oh, well, this is just Paul's opinion." So we can sort of disregard this section because Paul here, I mean, he's saying that this is just his opinion, and that's not what he's saying at all.

    25:13-25:29

    Back in verse 10, he was saying, "I'm quoting Jesus here." Now in verse 12, he's saying, "This is also from the Lord, but this isn't a direct quote from Jesus, do you see?" He's not saying this is uninspired.

    25:30-26:06

    He's just saying, "Before I was directly quoting from the ministry of Jesus, and now this is new revelation from God. That's all he's saying. So what if I'm married to a non-Christian and he wants to stay married? Paul says, "You don't get a divorce, you stay married. That's what you do." Like, really? Verse 13, "If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him." Oh yeah, that question, being with this non-Christian make me unholy?

    26:06-26:10

    Like isn't it the same principle as being with the prostitutes?

    26:11-26:13

    No, not at all.

    26:14-26:15

    Because look at verse 14.

    26:17-26:26

    For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.

    26:29-26:47

    You see, when one of you is saved and your spouse is not, it's not that the Christian is made unholy in the eyes of God, it's the unsaved person is made holy.

    26:52-26:53

    I want to be clear here.

    26:54-27:01

    That does not mean that the unbelieving spouse is saved because they're spouses.

    27:01-27:03

    That is not what that means.

    27:03-27:06

    The Bible is crystal clear on salvation.

    27:06-27:09

    Salvation is an individual transaction.

    27:10-27:14

    You can't get saved because of somebody else.

    27:14-27:18

    Biblically, you have to make the choice to turn from your sin.

    27:19-27:20

    You have to make the choice to repent.

    27:21-27:27

    You have to make the choice that you are going to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

    27:28-27:35

    It doesn't matter how good of a Christian your grandmama was, or your mama, or your spouse.

    27:35-27:36

    It doesn't matter.

    27:37-27:38

    You're not saved.

    27:38-27:40

    It's not like group raid here, all right?

    27:42-27:46

    You're saved by you making the choice.

    27:47-27:49

    You're like, all right, so what's he talking about here?

    27:50-27:57

    Well, it's a big fancy theological term that's known as matrimonial sanctification.

    27:58-28:01

    Impress your friends, drop that in conversation this week.

    28:02-28:03

    Do you have a water cooler at your workplace?

    28:03-28:04

    Drop that.

    28:05-28:08

    Yes, we were talking about matrimonial sanctification at church.

    28:10-28:12

    And they're like, "Oh, what is that?" And you'll tell them.

    28:13-28:18

    Well, in God's eyes, if one spouse is saved, there's blessing for everyone in the house.

    28:20-28:22

    I mean, think about it this way.

    28:25-28:26

    Think about it this way.

    28:26-28:36

    Imagine this married couple, you have this married couple, and the wife's parents die, and they leave her an inheritance.

    28:39-28:40

    They leave her a speedboat.

    28:42-28:44

    Now husbands, are you going to benefit from this inheritance?

    28:48-28:48

    No?

    28:49-28:50

    All right, let me try something else.

    28:52-28:55

    Her parents left her a Harley Davidson.

    28:56-28:58

    Husbands, are you going to benefit from this inheritance?

    29:00-29:02

    Yeah, some of you.

    29:02-29:03

    All right, let me try this again.

    29:06-29:08

    Her parents left her a monster truck.

    29:08-29:11

    Husbands, are you going to benefit from this inheritance?

    29:12-29:15

    Okay, this is really going to help for the second service.

    29:15-29:17

    Do you see the point?

    29:17-29:18

    You got the inheritance.

    29:19-29:26

    You know, you're driving grave digger down the road, but you had nothing to do with that, right?

    29:27-29:31

    You were blessed just because your wife received an inheritance.

    29:31-29:33

    It's the same principle at play here.

    29:34-29:35

    You're blessed by association.

    29:37-29:43

    In the same way, in marriage, two become one, and when God blesses one, the other gets blessed.

    29:43-29:48

    I mean, it's not salvation, but it's better than two pagans being married to each other.

    29:49-29:49

    Right?

    29:49-30:05

    Think of the blessing that comes to the non-Christian spouse when the Christian spouse is exhibiting the fruit of the Holy Spirit, when the Christian spouse is showing humility and love and service and selflessness.

    30:05-30:09

    And how could you not be blessed being in a house like that?

    30:13-30:14

    That's what he's talking about.

    30:16-30:23

    Oh, and regarding the salvation piece, look, nobody can deny the influence the believing spouse has.

    30:23-30:32

    I've heard the story so many times of people getting saved because of the witness that their Christian spouse has had.

    30:34-30:39

    So if you're in this situation, if your spouse is unsaved, God wants to reach them through you.

    30:41-30:43

    So let him see Christ in you.

    30:45-30:48

    And you're like, "Well, that's well and good, but what if we have kids, right?

    30:48-30:53

    I mean, I'm saved, he's not.

    30:53-30:59

    Does that make our kids like half pagan?" No, no, it really doesn't.

    30:59-31:01

    Look at the rest of verse 14.

    31:02-31:16

    Paul says, "Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." See, even if you have kids with a non-Christian, your kids are also made holy through that.

    31:16-31:16

    Same principle.

    31:17-31:23

    Your kids are also blessed through that because God sees your marriage as holy, so He's going to see your kids as holy.

    31:24-31:30

    So if you're married to a non-Christian who wants to stay married, God's going to bless the family.

    31:31-31:34

    Stay married if they want to stay.

    31:36-31:38

    All right, one more.

    31:39-31:42

    One more group we didn't cover, and that's the last one here.

    31:43-31:48

    Let's say someone is married to a non-Christian, and that non-Christian is like, "I want out.

    31:49-31:55

    Like look, I didn't sign up for all this Jesus stuff, all this Bible study stuff.

    31:55-31:57

    I didn't sign up for all this church stuff.

    31:58-31:58

    I'm not interested.

    31:59-32:00

    I'm not a religious person.

    32:01-32:05

    I want out." So what do you do when you're married to a non-Christian who wants to leave?

    32:05-32:07

    The answer is, let them go.

    32:09-32:10

    Let them go.

    32:14-32:15

    Look at verse 15.

    32:15-32:33

    He says, "But if the unbelieving partner separates," that's divorce, look what he says, "let it be so." If the non-Christian spouse initiates a divorce, Paul says they can go.

    32:37-32:38

    And I know the reaction.

    32:38-32:39

    You're like, "Wait, wait.

    32:39-32:40

    Well, that means I'm stuck.

    32:41-32:49

    You know, I wanted to save this marriage, and they divorced me, and now I can never get remarried again because they left me.

    32:49-32:53

    So I'm stuck, right?" Paul doesn't say that.

    32:56-32:57

    Paul doesn't say that.

    32:57-33:04

    Paul was clear on situations where you had to be remaining unmarried.

    33:04-33:05

    We saw that in verse 11.

    33:06-33:11

    He was clear in those situations, and he could have said that here, but he didn't.

    33:13-33:14

    You can remarry.

    33:14-33:22

    If you are married to a non-Christian that abandons you, initiates a divorce, and leaves you, you can remarry.

    33:23-33:24

    Look at the rest of verse 15.

    33:25-33:30

    He says, "In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved." God has called you to peace.

    33:31-33:32

    Not enslaved.

    33:33-33:34

    Like, not enslaved to what?

    33:35-33:37

    He's talking about free from being bound to the marriage.

    33:38-33:39

    That's what he's talking about.

    33:41-33:53

    See Romans 7, 2 says, "For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives." That's what he's talking about here in 1 Corinthians 7.

    33:53-33:55

    That's the bound to the marriage.

    33:55-33:57

    He goes, "You're not enslaved.

    33:57-33:58

    You're not bound anymore.

    34:01-34:19

    You're no longer bound to the marriage." Now look, I know some sermons are easier to preach than others, and divorce is a very touchy subjects.

    34:26-34:27

    It's always painful.

    34:28-34:29

    It always brings regret and hurt.

    34:30-34:30

    I know that.

    34:33-34:40

    So I want to take a moment and I want to be clear on my best understanding on the subject biblically.

    34:42-34:43

    All right?

    34:44-34:46

    I don't want there to be any ambiguity.

    34:47-34:48

    I want to be clear.

    34:48-35:00

    I believe that there is only one cause for divorce biblically, and that is hardness of heart.

    35:04-35:05

    Like, why do I think that?

    35:05-35:08

    Well, Jesus was asked about divorce in Matthew 19, eight.

    35:09-35:09

    This is what he said.

    35:10-35:24

    He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce." Jesus said divorce was allowed through Moses, through the law, because of hardness of heart.

    35:25-35:27

    Again divorce is allowed, not commanded.

    35:30-35:30

    Right?

    35:31-35:32

    Allowed not commanded.

    35:34-35:38

    But the question is, how do you know when someone is hard hearted?

    35:40-35:43

    Towards their spouse or towards their marriage, right?

    35:45-35:46

    Kind of a hard thing to gauge, isn't it?

    35:47-35:52

    Well Jesus said, "I can divorce you if you're hard-hearted." Well you seem hard-hearted to me, I'm getting divorced.

    35:52-35:53

    How do you know?

    35:54-36:07

    Well biblically there are two ways that hard-heartedness manifests, and both begin with the letter A. It's affair and abandonment.

    36:11-36:12

    Jesus spoke on a fair.

    36:13-36:30

    Matthew 19, 9, Jesus says, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery." Now again, divorce is allowed, but not commanded.

    36:30-36:39

    Understand this, when this happens in a marriage, that doesn't mean you are required to get a divorce.

    36:39-36:43

    I can tell you so many stories of marriages where this did happen.

    36:43-36:51

    And there was much repentance and seeking the Lord, and marriages are on track better than they were on their honeymoon.

    36:55-37:05

    But when someone is committed to having relations with people outside the marriage, Jesus says that's evidence of hard-heartedness.

    37:06-37:08

    Moses allowed for divorce for that.

    37:08-37:17

    Here, Paul is addressing the other manifestation of hard-heartedness, and that's abandonment.

    37:18-37:22

    That if your non-Christian spouse divorces you, abandons you, you are free.

    37:24-37:27

    That's how you know your spouse is hard-hearted.

    37:29-37:35

    When they are willing to engage in relations with someone else, they're hard-hearted towards you.

    37:35-37:41

    Or when they're like, "I'm fine to just walk away from this marriage.

    37:41-37:43

    I'm fine to walk away from our vows.

    37:43-37:50

    I'm fine to walk away from that." Those are evidences of hard-heartedness.

    37:54-37:57

    And Jesus says abandonment is like adultery.

    37:57-37:59

    I'm sorry, Paul says abandonment here is like adultery.

    38:00-38:01

    You are called to peace.

    38:05-38:10

    You are not called to fighting a non-Christian to stay in a marriage that they are committed to getting out of.

    38:12-38:13

    One more verse.

    38:15-38:20

    Paul says, "For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?

    38:21-38:31

    Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" You know, people are really divided on what this verse means.

    38:35-38:41

    Some people think this verse means, "Well, you don't know if you're going to save your spouse, so let them go.

    38:41-38:43

    I mean, you have no guarantees, just let them go.

    38:44-38:56

    There's no promises are going to come to Christ, if they say let them go." That's what some people think, but other people think this means, "No, no, no, you might be the one that God uses to save them, so you should try to save your marriage at any cost.

    38:59-39:00

    I lean towards the latter.

    39:04-39:05

    There's no guarantees either way.

    39:05-39:06

    You don't know.

    39:08-39:10

    You don't know what God's doing.

    39:13-39:18

    So you better be sure that you did all you could to save the marriage.

    39:20-39:23

    I personally believe that this verse pumps the brakes.

    39:26-39:38

    This verse, as one person I read this past week said, this verse tempers any tendency that just easily give up on the marriage.

    39:41-39:45

    Because some people are just so quick to run to divorce as like option one.

    39:47-39:56

    Again, if things are hard now, how do you know that God isn't using you to reach your spouse?

    39:58-40:00

    Our worship team would make their way back up front.

    40:07-40:16

    Paul continues, and I think he's doubling down on some of these things because some of it's hard to accept and some of it's hard to hear.

    40:17-40:20

    But again, Paul reminds us that singleness is God's gift for some.

    40:23-40:25

    Marriage is God's gift for the rest.

    40:28-40:30

    One of these four sermons applies to you.

    40:32-40:37

    So whichever it is, go after it with the reverence and with the sacredness that God has called you to.

    40:38-40:39

    Let's pray.

    40:41-40:52

    Father in heaven, we're asking today, Father, that your Holy Spirit be at work in our hearts.

    40:54-41:03

    When we talk about singleness and divorce and all these things, it's such an emotional subject because there are people here that have been deeply wounded by these things.

    41:06-41:12

    And we by no means, Father, wanna kick someone when they're down or rub salt on the wound.

    41:12-41:15

    We just, we wanna take an honest look at what your word has to say.

    41:17-41:19

    Father, we thank you for your grace.

    41:19-41:21

    We thank you that you are the God of miracles.

    41:21-41:35

    We thank you, God, that no matter how badly things might have gotten in marriage, whether it was able to be saved or not, God, there's always hope with you.

    41:35-41:37

    There's always healing with you.

    41:39-41:40

    That's why we come to you.

    41:40-41:51

    Father, I pray for all of us that we would take a hard look at the place you have us right now, because there's something in here for each one of us.

    41:55-41:59

    And that we would go after it, trusting you to always do what you promised.

    42:00-42:02

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read
1 Corinthians 7:8-16

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. Explain 1 Cor 7:14. How is the nonChristian spouse made holy because of a Christian spouse? What does that mean?

  3. If you are married to a nonChristian who wants out of the marriage (1 Cor 7:15), how do you know when to grant their divorce (when to stop trying to save the marriage, asking for counseling, etc)?

  4. Why should you allow a nonChristian to divorce and leave a Christian (v15)? Is the believing spouse free to remarry? Why or why not?

Breakout

Pray for one another.

What About Sex and Marriage?

Introduction:

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Enjoying Your Gift from God. (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)

  1. Married? Enjoy God's Gift for MARRIAGE. (1 Cor 7:3-5)

    3 Laws of Marital Intimacy:

    1. The Law of DEBT. (1 Cor 7:3)

    2. The Law of OWNERSHIP. (1 Cor 7:4)

    3. The Law of HIATUS. (1 Cor 7:5)

  2. Single? Enjoy God's Gift of SINGLENESS. (1 Cor 7:6-7)

    Matthew 19:10-12 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:36-00:41

    Open up those Bibles to 1 Corinthians 7.

    00:43-00:51

    And as we said last week, it's going to continue for the next few weeks because we go where the text goes.

    00:54-01:00

    And today we're going to be talking about the relationship between a man and his wife.

    01:03-01:44

    discretion advised. We are going to be direct, but you know some pastors want to be like edgy by kind of pushing the envelope there and that's I don't think that's cool, but I do think we need to teach the Bible straightforwardly. So we are going to be direct but not explicit, okay? So whether you're sitting here or streaming this from home, parents you decide. If you saw last week's message that would be a good gauge as to whether or not your kids should hear this one.

    01:44-02:01

    But again I'll remind you that somebody's talking to your kids about this. I think you should really consider you know whether it's time for them to hear this from God, what He says about these matters.

    02:02-02:17

    Alright, so with that said, let's just bow our heads. I'm going to ask that you would please take a moment and pray for me to be faithful to clearly communicate what God said and I will pray for you to receive what it is that this passage teaches today. Let's pray.

    02:23-02:28

    Father in heaven, we are once again turning to Your Word for wisdom.

    02:33-02:38

    And we're dealing with what is going to be for many here a sensitive subject.

    02:38-03:05

    And I pray, Father, against distractions, and I also pray that our hearts and minds are open to what You actually say in Your Word. Not our opinion or not what we think your word might say about these matters, but to examine what it is that you have said, and that we would be faithful to apply.

    03:08-03:53

    Come meet us now, Lord, through the proclamation of your word, we pray in Jesus' name, and all of God's people said, "Amen." Amen. Many years ago, I was leading Bible study the prison, and one man raised his hand. He said, "I have a question. I have a question about what happens when we die." Well, I was ready for this. You should have heard. You should have heard the sermon. It's probably the best sermon I ever gave. It was just both barrels, and I explained to him, "Okay, first of all, let me explain how death came into the world. We went through Genesis chapter 3. Death We need Jesus Christ.

    03:54-03:56

    Jesus died on the cross to take our sin away.

    03:56-03:59

    He rose from the dead to give us eternal life.

    03:59-04:00

    We all need the gospel.

    04:00-04:05

    And if you've received Christ, when you die, the Bible says you are in the presence of the Lord.

    04:05-04:10

    Okay, and someday he is going to come and he's going to take his people to be with him.

    04:10-04:12

    John chapter 14, we talked about the rapture.

    04:13-04:17

    But if you have not received Christ, I talked about the tribulation that's coming after the rapture.

    04:18-04:21

    There's seven years of just hell on earth.

    04:21-04:26

    and then Christ returns, and I talked about all the millennial kingdom, right?

    04:26-04:41

    And then after the kingdom, there's the great white throne judgment, and at that point, you know, if you die and you're not in Christ, you do go to a place of suffering, Luke 16, but then you're thrown into the lake of fire at the great white throne judgment, and you should have heard it.

    04:41-04:44

    It was comprehensive.

    04:47-04:49

    So I got done, it was about 20 minutes.

    04:50-04:57

    I got done and I said, "So, does that answer your question?" He stared at me blankly.

    04:59-05:01

    And he goes, "No."

    05:02-05:03

    (congregation laughing)

    05:04-05:25

    I said, "Why not?" He goes, "I just wanted to know "if we become angels when we die." And I said, "No." He goes, "Okay, thanks." And I learned that day to answer the question that's being asked.

    05:27-05:30

    Well, the Corinthians, they had a lot of questions.

    05:31-05:35

    They had a lot of questions about marriage, about idols, about women in church, about the Lord's Supper.

    05:36-05:38

    Look at chapter 7 verse 1.

    05:39-05:45

    Paul says, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote," stop there, we're entering a new section, okay?

    05:45-05:49

    He talked about the church unified, chapters 1-4.

    05:50-05:55

    He talked about the church purified, chapters 5-6.

    05:56-05:58

    And now you can see there's a shift.

    05:59-06:06

    He says, "You sent me questions and I'm going to give you answers now to the questions that you sent me." Do you see that?

    06:07-06:09

    And first up, marriage.

    06:12-06:13

    You're going to be shocked.

    06:13-06:14

    I'm glad you're sitting down.

    06:15-06:17

    But the Corinthians had a lot of problems when it came to marriage.

    06:20-06:28

    But you know, the problems that we bring into marriage are our own doing, because the Bible was clear on marriage.

    06:30-06:34

    Genesis 2.24, this is the most important verse in the Bible about marriage.

    06:34-06:38

    I know this because when asked, this is the verse that Jesus quoted.

    06:39-06:42

    When writing about marriage, this was the verse that Paul kept quoting.

    06:42-06:55

    The most important verse in the Bible about marriage says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." It's clear.

    06:55-07:00

    You leave, you join to your wife, and then the two become one.

    07:02-07:10

    Jesus was asked about marriage, divorce, all these matters, Matthew 19, we're going to talk about this later, but Jesus made, it was very clear.

    07:11-07:15

    Jesus said marriage is between a man and a woman.

    07:15-07:19

    Jesus said in a marriage, it's two people that are brought together by God.

    07:19-07:24

    Jesus said it's two becoming one, and He said it's meant to be unbroken.

    07:24-07:25

    That's God's design.

    07:28-07:32

    Bible's clear about marriage.

    07:32-07:38

    But in Paul's day, the Corinthian culture, there were basically four different ways to get married.

    07:38-07:51

    I'm just gonna, I don't usually like to preach my homework, But this might be helpful to give us some context as we go through this section, because there are a lot of ways that people got married in that day, all right?

    07:52-07:54

    So one way was for slaves.

    07:54-07:56

    Slaves weren't considered people, they were considered property.

    07:57-08:02

    So for slaves, the owner had the right to just pronounce them married.

    08:02-08:08

    If there were two slaves that wanted to get married, it's like, okay, you two are married, so you go stay over there or whatever.

    08:09-08:09

    And that was it.

    08:11-08:14

    There was also, in that day, common law marriage.

    08:14-08:20

    People that were living together unmarried for a year were considered married at that point.

    08:21-08:23

    A third way is a father selling his daughter.

    08:26-08:30

    And then the fourth way was the sort of the official Roman way.

    08:32-08:37

    Interestingly, it's through the Roman customs where we get our customs for marriage.

    08:37-08:38

    Did you know that?

    08:39-08:44

    from veil to flowers to vows to ring to cake, all came from the Roman culture.

    08:47-08:49

    So here's the point of all that.

    08:50-08:57

    In this section, Paul is teaching the sacredness of marriage no matter how you got there.

    08:57-09:07

    Okay, because there's going to be a lot of people that could raise objections, "But I was married this way, but I..." Paul's like, "However you got there, we're dealing with from here forward.

    09:08-09:10

    Let's talk about the sacredness of marriage.

    09:12-09:14

    They were a culture that had a high divorce rate.

    09:16-09:28

    They were a culture that had homosexuality, a culture of affairs, a culture of, believe it or not, feminists, and a culture of - we talked about this recently - prostitution.

    09:30-09:32

    So it's a culture a lot like ours.

    09:32-10:03

    There's nothing really new here as far as the kind of sin that they had to deal with with the same stuff. So the question is, "Well, what about sex and marriage?" Well, again, you're going to be shocked, and I'm glad you're sitting down, but the Corinthians had something else that they were divisive over, and that is this. Should you get married, or should you be single?

    10:06-10:08

    Which is the godly path?

    10:09-10:10

    That's the issue on the table here.

    10:11-10:13

    Which is the godly path, married or single?

    10:14-10:20

    Because some people said that righteousness is everybody must get married.

    10:21-10:22

    That was the Jewish mindset, by the way.

    10:23-10:24

    Everybody must get married.

    10:24-10:27

    You're not really fully righteous unless you're married.

    10:27-10:30

    In fact, you couldn't be a member of the Sanhedrin unless you were married.

    10:31-10:38

    So the Jews especially said, "Look, what's right is everybody has to get married." But then there's the other camp.

    10:40-10:42

    And the other camp said, "No, no, no, no.

    10:42-10:43

    No one should get married.

    10:43-10:45

    I mean, have you been paying attention?

    10:46-10:48

    Sexual sin is completely out of control.

    10:49-10:50

    Marriage is hard.

    10:50-10:57

    So being single and never touching a woman, that's the godly way.

    10:57-11:00

    In fact, you want to be godly.

    11:00-11:03

    If you're married and you want this godly path, you're just going to have to get out of your marriage.

    11:04-11:05

    Both of you be single.

    11:06-11:07

    That is more spiritual.

    11:08-11:09

    That is more devoted to God.

    11:09-11:13

    If you're single, you are more devoted to God.

    11:13-11:17

    And you know, there's people today that still hold that mindset, like in the Catholic church.

    11:17-11:18

    All right?

    11:18-11:19

    Priests don't get married.

    11:19-11:20

    Nuns don't get married.

    11:20-11:20

    Why?

    11:20-11:24

    Because you're devoted to God, and you can't really be devoted to God if you're married.

    11:27-11:30

    Well, what does the Bible say about that?

    11:31-11:35

    Well, let's see how Paul answers this under inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

    11:35-11:36

    Look at verse 1 again.

    11:36-11:48

    "Now, concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." Okay, stop there.

    11:48-11:50

    He goes, okay, first of all, it's good.

    11:51-11:53

    He didn't say it's the only good.

    11:54-11:54

    Okay?

    11:55-11:59

    Paul's not saying singleness is better than marriage.

    11:59-12:01

    He's not saying it's worse than marriage.

    12:01-12:09

    All he's saying in verse 1 is, "It's not wrong to be single." It is a fine option if you're single.

    12:11-12:12

    But there's another option.

    12:13-12:13

    Look at verse 2.

    12:14-12:36

    He says, "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." So Paul says, "The other option, which is marriage, is good too." I mean we saw this, right?

    12:36-12:42

    Chapters 5 and 6, there was so much sexual immorality in the church.

    12:42-12:44

    They tolerated sexual sin.

    12:44-12:46

    They excused sexual sin.

    12:46-12:48

    There was no sacredness for marriage.

    12:48-12:49

    Huge problem.

    12:49-12:56

    So you see, in Corinth and here, it is hard to be pure because of temptation.

    12:57-12:58

    That's what Paul is teaching here.

    12:59-13:04

    Because there are so many ways to sin sexually.

    13:08-13:14

    So Paul here says, because of the temptation to sexual immorality, get a spouse.

    13:16-13:28

    Notice he says, "Get your own spouse." design. It's one man for one woman and that one woman for that one man. That is how God designed it. Get your own.

    13:30-14:11

    So Paul is saying physical desires are natural and should be enjoyed the way God designed them to be enjoyed. All right? So we're gonna play a quick game here. We're gonna play a game called "Which is Good?" I'm gonna give you a list of two options and you're gonna shout out which is good. You ready for this? You ready? Come on, don't lay an egg here. I need you. I need you. I'll start over. I mean I'll start way over at the beginning. We'll bring the worship team up. We'll start the whole thing over. All right, so you You ready to shout it out?

    14:11-14:13

    Which is good, country music or rock music?

    14:13-14:14

    Rock.

    14:16-14:18

    The answer is both.

    14:20-14:21

    All right, which is good?

    14:22-14:22

    You ready?

    14:22-14:23

    Try again.

    14:23-14:24

    I'm gonna give you another chance.

    14:25-14:26

    Which is good, pancakes or waffles?

    14:27-14:28

    Both.

    14:28-14:31

    Both are good, okay?

    14:32-14:35

    All right, I think some of you are getting the hang of it.

    14:35-14:36

    Let's try one more.

    14:37-14:39

    Which is good, baseball or football?

    14:41-14:42

    (congregation exclaims)

    14:49-14:50

    I'm sorry, the answer is both.

    14:52-14:53

    All right, one more, you ready?

    14:55-14:57

    Which is good, being single or being married?

    14:58-14:58

    Both.

    14:59-14:59

    Both.

    15:02-15:02

    Both.

    15:04-15:05

    The answer's both.

    15:08-15:12

    Paul says here - look, if you don't get that, you're going to miss the whole sermon, so you've got to get this.

    15:12-15:17

    Paul says here in this passage, look, what you have, church, you have two good options.

    15:19-15:22

    Okay? You have two good gifts from God.

    15:22-15:24

    You can't have them both at the same time, by the way.

    15:24-15:26

    I think I don't have to explain that.

    15:27-15:29

    But you have two good options, two good gifts of God.

    15:30-15:31

    Single is good.

    15:32-15:34

    And married is good.

    15:35-15:37

    That's Paul's point here in these first two verses.

    15:37-16:13

    expounds on each. So on your outline, draw some things down here. Enjoying your gift from God. Number one, married. Are you married? Are you married? Well, enjoy God's gift for marriage. Okay, now Paul here starts with marriage because it's the norm. Most people are married. Again, one's not better or worse. Most people are married, so that's where he And again in Corinth, many thought you had greater devotion to God if you avoided physical relations.

    16:14-16:14

    But there's a problem.

    16:15-16:22

    There are some people that thought you have greater devotion to God by avoiding physical relations even if you're married.

    16:25-16:37

    And all the men said, "What?" And it's good to not touch a woman even if you're married, and especially if she's not a believer, or vice versa.

    16:37-16:47

    If your husband's not a believer, they believe that, look, if you're married to a non-believer, you definitely should not be engaging in any kind of relationship that way.

    16:48-16:50

    That was what the people thought.

    16:51-16:53

    So here in these verses, Paul's saying, look, are you married?

    16:53-16:58

    Then you should enjoy regular times of intimacy.

    17:01-17:04

    You should enjoy regular times of intimacy.

    17:05-17:20

    And you're like, "Oh, isn't that obvious?" And the answer is it must not be because God spent some time here in His Word explaining some things.

    17:21-17:22

    So I don't think it is so obvious.

    17:24-17:35

    So what we have here are three laws, three principles for married couples regarding God's design for healthy marital relations, okay?

    17:37-17:42

    So we're just gonna break these down by calling them the three laws of marital intimacy.

    17:43-17:45

    The three laws of marital intimacy.

    17:48-17:51

    First of all, letter A, let's talk about the law of debt.

    17:52-18:00

    If you're married, if you're married, You should be enjoying your spouse physically.

    18:01-18:03

    And here's the three guidelines, three laws for that.

    18:03-18:05

    The first one, the law of debt.

    18:05-18:06

    Look at verse three.

    18:07-18:22

    He says, "The husband should give to his wife "her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband." Stop there, that's the law of debt.

    18:22-18:23

    You're like, why do you say debt?

    18:23-18:26

    Because do you know in the Greek, it's literally the debt.

    18:26-18:30

    literally in the Greek, it says the husband should give the wife the debt.

    18:31-18:34

    And the wife should give her husband the debt.

    18:34-18:36

    That's what it says.

    18:37-18:47

    Also in the Greek, it's a continuous verb, meaning, Paul's saying husbands and wives, you should continuously be paying a debt to one another physically.

    18:50-18:57

    Now listen, the physical part of your marriage is not the most important part of your marriage.

    19:00-19:06

    But, it is a very important part of your marriage.

    19:08-19:09

    Okay, I'm gonna say that again.

    19:09-19:13

    I don't know if I've ever been so careful about the way I worded things in a sermon.

    19:15-19:20

    Because I don't want anybody to misunderstand, and I know there's a lot of things that can be easily misunderstood here, so I'm gonna say that again.

    19:21-19:27

    The physical part of your marriage is not the most important thing, but it is a very important thing.

    19:28-19:42

    And Paul here says, "You owe it to your spouse to allow your spouse to enjoy this." Listen, this is a very sensitive subject.

    19:42-19:43

    I know that.

    19:43-19:46

    Because there are people that have endured abuse.

    19:47-19:50

    There are people who are emotionally scarred.

    19:50-19:52

    There are people that have health issues.

    19:52-20:01

    And these things make regular, normal relations more difficult.

    20:06-20:08

    It might require extra work.

    20:08-20:12

    It might require coming to see one of our pastors for counseling.

    20:12-20:14

    We can help you with that.

    20:14-20:17

    If this is an issue in your marriage, we can help you.

    20:22-20:24

    But the principle here is very clear.

    20:26-20:29

    If you're married, you are expected to go after this.

    20:32-20:39

    God's design is that husbands and wives enjoy meeting each other's needs.

    20:44-20:59

    There's a book in the Bible all about that, by the way, right? Song of Solomon. That's what And I know there's some scholars that are like, "The Song of Solomon, you know what the Song of Solomon is about, Pastor Taylor?

    20:59-21:00

    You know what it's about.

    21:00-21:08

    The Song of Solomon is about the love relationship between Jesus and the church." Spoken like someone who never read the Song of Solomon.

    21:09-21:10

    It's not about that.

    21:12-22:19

    It is about a couple enjoying the physical aspect of their relationship, their love for another and all its expressions of that love, that's what it's about. God wants you to enjoy each other. I've heard stories of couples that only come together for a physical relationship when it's time to procreate, almost like it's some business exchange. And look, if that happens. If that happens, awesome, awesome. We'll always make room in the nursery. But to reduce the purpose of that just for procreation is still missing the point. The purpose of sex in marriage is intimacy. That's the purpose. It's not just a physical act. It's an act that strengthens love and is an act that sustains love.

    22:21-22:30

    But I know, listen, somebody can read this verse, "The husband should give to his wife the debt." Likewise, the wife give to her husband the debt.

    22:30-22:34

    Somebody can look at this verse and say, "That sounds so violating.

    22:36-22:38

    You mean to tell me…." Is that what you're saying?

    22:39-22:47

    I can't… What a patriarchal, male chauvinist church this is, that you're telling me that I can be forced to pay the debt.

    22:48-22:48

    Right?

    22:48-22:49

    Is that what you're saying?

    22:50-22:51

    Not even close.

    22:53-22:58

    And I would say that if that's your takeaway, then all due respect, you are completely reading the verse wrong.

    23:02-23:02

    Listen closely.

    23:03-23:10

    He's not saying that we go into our marriage relationship saying, "You owe me!" No, no, no, no.

    23:12-23:13

    Not lording it over.

    23:14-23:20

    It's not "You owe me!" It's the mindset of "I owe you." It's submission.

    23:23-23:26

    Notice he says to give the debt.

    23:26-23:27

    He doesn't say take the debt.

    23:27-23:28

    Do you notice that?

    23:29-23:32

    He doesn't say, "Husbands, go take what she owes you.

    23:32-23:35

    Wives, go take what he owes you." He doesn't say that.

    23:36-23:43

    He says in mutual submission, you have to give what you owe your spouse.

    23:45-23:46

    That's what he says.

    23:47-23:52

    A healthy marriage always focuses on the other person's needs.

    23:55-23:59

    And that applies also specifically here to intimacy.

    24:01-24:02

    That's what we're saying.

    24:05-24:09

    Give your wife, give to her what you owe her.

    24:10-24:12

    Wives, give to husbands what you owe him.

    24:12-24:13

    It's mutual submission.

    24:16-24:16

    All right?

    24:16-24:17

    So that's the law of debt.

    24:18-24:20

    Secondly, we have letter B, the law of ownership.

    24:22-24:23

    Law of ownership, look at verse 4.

    24:24-24:32

    And he goes on, "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

    24:32-24:40

    Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." Stop there.

    24:40-24:43

    Again, please do not read it wrongly.

    24:43-24:48

    Don't go through this and totally miss what he's saying because it would be easy to do.

    24:48-24:52

    This is not a pass for abuse.

    24:54-25:05

    This is, listen, this verse is not allowing for any kind of situation where someone is being forced into something in any way.

    25:06-25:08

    It is not saying that whatsoever.

    25:08-25:19

    You're like, "Well, what is it saying then?" In marriage, listen, when you make the decision to marry someone, you have released the authority of your body to your spouse.

    25:20-25:22

    And again, in the Greek, that's continual.

    25:23-25:26

    What you have in marriage is an exclusive claim.

    25:27-25:34

    It's saying no one else owns my body the way that my spouse does, and that includes me.

    25:36-25:37

    That's what he's saying.

    25:38-25:43

    He's speaking again of a mutual love and selflessness.

    25:44-25:45

    That's what he's talking about.

    25:47-25:55

    He's talking about a mentality of a husband going before his wife and saying, "Hey, hey, this is all yours.

    25:57-26:04

    This is all yours." And then the wife in turn turns to her husband and says, "Yeah, and you know what, baby?

    26:05-26:06

    This is all yours.

    26:11-26:14

    So have fun." That's what he's saying.

    26:18-26:20

    There's the law of death, there's the law of ownership.

    26:21-26:23

    Letter C, there's the law of hiatus.

    26:24-26:25

    The law of hiatus.

    26:26-26:27

    Look at verse 5.

    26:30-26:55

    He says, "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." The law of hiatus.

    26:57-26:59

    Again, he goes, "Stop depriving.

    26:59-27:07

    Stop depriving." Again, the Corinthian culture, "Oh, it's holy to deprive my spouse." No, he goes, "It's not holy.

    27:08-27:08

    It's just not.

    27:09-27:14

    Do not deprive each other, husbands and wives, do not deprive each other.

    27:15-27:16

    He says there is an exception.

    27:18-27:19

    There are rules for hiatus.

    27:22-27:23

    There are rules for hiatus, right?

    27:24-27:28

    First part of the rule, number one, is agree, right?

    27:29-27:30

    Agree.

    27:32-27:33

    That means consent.

    27:33-27:38

    That means it's not just one person making the decision.

    27:41-27:43

    It's not the wife saying, "You know what, honey?

    27:43-27:50

    I've really been thinking about this, and I decided we're taking a hiatus." And the husband's like, "Wait, what?

    27:51-27:52

    That's not how it works.

    27:52-28:00

    There has to be an agreement on that, all right?" And also number two, it says for a limited time.

    28:02-28:29

    a limited time. It's temporary. Again, that time should be agreed upon. You're like, "All right, well, why are we taking a break?" Well, he says very specifically, "If you two decide to take a break for a time from having normal relations, it should be for prayer." And he's not talking about prayer in general. I think he's talking about praying for something specific.

    28:31-28:43

    Maybe there's something in your life that is so burdening, so distracting, that you probably can't even enjoy intimacy in that season.

    28:43-28:45

    Do you know what I'm talking about?

    28:46-28:58

    Maybe you have a child that is really sick and in the hospital and like, "I can't." Obviously neither of us are in the mood for this right now.

    28:58-28:58

    We need to pray.

    29:01-29:33

    there's the looming threat of a job loss and the stress that comes with, you know, what am I going to do to provide for my family? And you know what, sweetheart, I think we should take a break from this for a season and focus on praying for God's provision in this way. But you agree upon it and you set the boundary of time, but when you're like, man, I just can't get into it as I should, then you take a hiatus, you agree to pray.

    29:33-29:53

    But Paul says, "Then, then you have to come together again," he says, "so that you don't get tempted." But the first part of that verse says, "Do not deprive each other.

    29:55-29:57

    Stop depriving each other.

    30:03-30:08

    Husbands and wives, you cannot use sex to manipulate.

    30:11-30:19

    Or more accurately, you can't withhold sex to coerce or punish the other person.

    30:21-30:35

    Listen, when you do that, when you use that as coercion or punishment, what you're doing ultimately is only hurting your marriage.

    30:36-30:37

    That's what you're doing.

    30:39-30:42

    Notice he says, "Come together again." Why?

    30:42-30:43

    Why should we come together again?

    30:44-31:12

    may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. In other words, closing the kitchen makes you a partner of Satan. All right? Because the urge is still there, and now all of a sudden the person who is supposed to satisfy me absolutely refuses to do that.

    31:13-31:15

    And then what happens?

    31:21-31:23

    Bitterness is resentment.

    31:25-31:27

    Then the evil thoughts start to creep in, right?

    31:29-31:32

    I'm so sick of not having my needs met.

    31:32-31:35

    I'm so sick of the bedroom being so cold.

    31:37-31:39

    And eventually that leads to adultery.

    31:42-31:55

    to physical, you find somebody that's scratching the itch that you have, whether it is that emotional itch for affection, whether it's a physical itch.

    31:58-32:20

    And then it's justified because, and I've heard it hundreds of times over my ministry, justified because I'm in a loveless marriage." You know, marriages struggle and ultimately individuals walks with Christ struggle because they're so frustrated physically.

    32:21-32:29

    It's like I have this appetite and it's just not being met and nothing good comes from that married people.

    32:30-32:30

    Alright?

    32:33-32:35

    So this is from the Lord.

    32:37-32:39

    Enjoy each other as much as possible.

    32:40-32:40

    Okay?

    32:42-32:43

    It's fun.

    32:43-32:50

    It's God's idea and in this passage he reminds us it is the best help in avoiding temptation.

    32:55-32:56

    It's the best help in avoiding temptation.

    32:57-32:58

    Think about it this way.

    32:58-33:00

    Just imagine this scenario.

    33:01-33:02

    Imagine this scenario.

    33:02-33:09

    Husband wakes up and he comes downstairs and he sees that his wife is baking chocolate chip cookies.

    33:11-33:13

    Seven in the morning she's baking chocolate chip cookies.

    33:15-33:16

    What a great wife, right?

    33:17-33:18

    Oh, it gets better.

    33:18-33:47

    He's baking chocolate chip cookies and he sees on the counter, she's obviously been at it for a while because there's a plate and there's a stack of them. And his wife says, "Honey, have all the cookies that you want." And like the dutiful husband that he is, he sits down and he has one, three, six, ten of them! And you know how you feel after eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies, right?

    33:49-33:50

    Just me?

    33:52-33:52

    (audience laughing)

    33:54-33:57

    You know how you feel after you eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies, right?

    33:59-33:59

    Thank you.

    34:00-34:01

    Thank you.

    34:02-34:09

    Your wife says, "Sweetheart, before you go to work, "I want you to have as many of these cookies as you want, "and I wanna tell you something else, honey.

    34:10-34:17

    "When you come home, there's gonna be more." So, you indulge.

    34:20-34:22

    Let me ask you something, when you get to work, are you hungry for cookies?

    34:25-34:25

    No.

    34:26-34:27

    Thank you.

    34:28-34:29

    Thank you.

    34:30-34:33

    One of you is on board now, the rest of you will catch up.

    34:34-34:35

    No.

    34:35-34:39

    You get to work, you're not hungry for cookies.

    34:40-34:46

    So what happens when the co-worker comes over to you and says, "Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink.

    34:47-34:48

    Would you like a cookie?

    34:50-34:56

    What do you say?" You're like, "I am full.

    34:58-35:03

    You wouldn't believe how many cookies I ate before work today." Well, you probably wouldn't say that.

    35:08-35:09

    We need to cut that one.

    35:10-35:11

    (audience laughing)

    35:15-35:19

    You would say, too much Taylor?

    35:19-35:20

    Too, oh, okay.

    35:20-35:27

    You would say, if she says blink, blink, blink, would you like a cookie?

    35:27-35:29

    You would say, no, thank you.

    35:31-35:31

    I'm full.

    35:34-35:35

    I have all the cookies that I wanted.

    35:38-35:45

    And you know, if you go a long time without cookies, self-control is much harder when someone else offers you one.

    35:49-35:52

    So if you're married, enjoy the wedding present that God gave you.

    35:52-35:52

    Alright?

    35:54-35:56

    Number two, single?

    35:58-35:59

    Enjoy God's gift of singleness.

    36:02-36:04

    I'm going to touch on this quickly.

    36:04-36:04

    Why?

    36:05-36:08

    He goes way into more detail later.

    36:08-36:11

    But right now, understand the point of what he's saying now.

    36:11-36:14

    The point of what he's saying now is two good options, right?

    36:14-36:14

    Two good options.

    36:15-36:16

    Marriage, good option.

    36:16-36:20

    And he's like, let's talk about the other good option, being single.

    36:20-36:21

    Look at verse six.

    36:22-36:35

    He says, "Now as a concession, not a command, I say this." In other words, he's like, look, I'm not commanding everyone to get married.

    36:35-36:38

    I'm just putting this out there because of human needs.

    36:39-36:39

    Right?

    36:39-37:19

    Verse seven, he says, "I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another." So Paul says, "I have this gift and I wish everyone had this gift." Paul's like, "You may not have this gift." Bible's clear, God gives different gifts to different people and some people are uniquely gifted by God for singleness.

    37:20-37:21

    Some people are.

    37:21-37:24

    Like that is from God himself.

    37:28-37:33

    Quickly, Jesus, Matthew chapter 19, again, we referenced this earlier.

    37:33-37:38

    He was speaking of marriage and divorce and adultery.

    37:38-37:41

    Look, Jesus, this is where Paul gets this.

    37:42-37:45

    Paul's just repeating what Jesus was saying here about singleness.

    37:46-38:07

    Like I said, Jesus just got done talking about marriage and divorce, and the disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But Jesus said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only to those to whom it is given.

    38:09-38:19

    For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

    38:20-38:24

    Let the one who is able to receive this, receive it.

    38:26-38:28

    Same thing, same point.

    38:29-38:32

    Some people have a gift of singleness given by God.

    38:34-38:41

    If you're sitting here, you're like, "Man, I couldn't do it." Well, then you don't have the gift.

    38:43-38:45

    That's just all there is to it, right?

    38:47-38:48

    If you're sitting here and you're like, "You know what?

    38:48-38:59

    am single but I really don't want to be, then you don't have the gift. Because it's a gift from God to be single and content.

    39:02-39:17

    It's from God to be single and content, not single and consumed by lust. You don't have the gift if that's the case. Not if single and constantly tempted, you don't have the gift.

    39:17-39:23

    Not if single and constantly preoccupied by the fact that I am single, you don't have the gift.

    39:26-39:26

    Right?

    39:27-39:32

    But for some, it is a gift.

    39:33-39:45

    And there are definite advantages to this gift that we're going to talk about very shortly down the road, he picks up on that really in verse 32.

    39:46-39:56

    So Paul is saying to the Corinthians, "God's Word preserved by His Holy Spirit saying to us same thing." Look, don't judge the single people, right?

    39:57-39:58

    Don't judge the single people.

    39:58-40:04

    Maybe they have a gift from God to be single and content, to serve Him in a unique way.

    40:04-40:04

    Don't judge them.

    40:05-40:08

    And on the other hand, don't judge the married people either.

    40:09-40:24

    God has given the gift of marriage, and each side here, the single, the married, each has a gift, so enjoy yours how God intended." Our worship team would make their way up.

    40:25-40:35

    You know, in talking about this subject, it's hard to not think about how I heard of this subject when I was but a wee lad.

    40:38-40:46

    And you know, growing up, I thought, I'm just gonna be honest with you here, I thought sex was a bad, dirty thing.

    40:50-41:05

    Growing up, I thought sex was just this really, it was this really secretive, dirty thing that adults kind of whisper about, and you're like, "Why did you think that?" Because that was the only way it was ever presented.

    41:07-41:27

    And you know, so much church, so much church is, "Don't do this, don't do that, don't do this." So much church is, "Let me tell you everything that we're against." And too seldom does the church say what we're for.

    41:29-41:35

    But listen, sex is not a bad, dirty thing.

    41:38-41:41

    You realize God created it.

    41:43-41:45

    You realize the whole thing was His idea.

    41:46-41:52

    God is 100% for husbands and wives enjoying the heck out of it.

    41:55-41:56

    That's what he intended.

    41:58-42:01

    Sex to be one of life's greatest pleasures for a married couple.

    42:03-42:10

    So it's a gift for the married and the unmarried get the gift of not needing that wedding gift.

    42:10-42:13

    So, which is good?

    42:15-42:17

    Married or single?

    42:20-42:21

    Both are good.

    42:23-42:23

    Enjoy.

    42:24-42:25

    Let's pray.

    42:26-42:31

    Father in heaven, every good and perfect gift comes from above.

    42:32-42:55

    And I pray, Father, that you would give us eyes to see the way that you have blessed and gifted us and that we would use the gifts in a way that honors and glorifies you, whether it's single, to serve you in a unique way, whether it's married, to enjoy this picture of Christ and the church to enjoy the intimacy that comes from knowing somebody so deeply.

    42:57-43:01

    Whatever it is, God, let us recognize and enjoy.

    43:02-43:04

    And thank You and praise You for all of Your gifts.

    43:05-43:07

    We praise You in Jesus' name.

    43:07-43:08

    Amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read
1 Corinthians 7:1-7

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. Explain the “3 Laws of Marital Intimacy” in your own words (1 Cor 7:3-5).

  3. What does it mean that “the wife doesn't have authority over her own body, but the husband does, (and vice-versa)”? Is this making allowance for some kind of coercion to intimacy? Why or why not?

  4. How would you respond to a single friend who asks, “How do I know if I have the gift of singleness?”

Breakout

Pray for one another.

Why Jesus? Love Right.

Introduction:

Three Things Jesus-Followers Should Be Known For (Hebrews 13:1-6)

  1. Compassion : We look for people to Love . (Heb 13:1-3)

    Five Reasons to Not Show Compassion:

    1. Maybe it's their own fault.
    2. Maybe they should suffer to teach them a lesson.
    3. Maybe they won't appreciate my help. (I've helped before and got burned!)
    4. Maybe they'll waste what I give them.
    5. Maybe I got my own problems to deal with.

    One Reason to Show Compassion:

    1. Jesus
  2. Covenant : We believe Marriage is a great thing. (Heb 13:4)
  3. Contentment : We have all we Need . (Heb 13:5-6)

    Ecclesiastes 5:19 - Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:49-00:53

    Open up your Bibles with me, please, to Hebrews chapter 13.

    00:55-00:57

    And while you're turning, let's just pause for a moment.

    00:57-01:03

    And I would ask you pray for me to be faithful to communicate God's word.

    01:03-01:18

    And I will pray for you to have a heart open to receive it and to not just hear Bible things, but to actually hear the voice of Jesus through his word.

    01:18-01:19

    Let's pray.

    01:22-01:32

    Father, I pray that we would just have hearts that are just soil rich to receive the Word.

    01:36-01:39

    And that something supernatural would happen here.

    01:42-01:53

    Through the proclamation of your Word, through your Holy Spirit taking that Word and applying it, All glory and praise and honor and power be unto your name.

    01:53-01:56

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

    01:58-02:00

    Hebrews chapter 13, are you there?

    02:01-02:08

    A couple of years ago, my family, we bought a product from a company called Unmask.

    02:09-02:15

    And Unmask, especially during this peak pandemic time, they make masks for people like us.

    02:15-02:16

    And this is mine.

    02:16-02:22

    I'm not gonna put it on now because I get this microphone on, but anybody else have an unmask?

    02:23-02:23

    Anybody else?

    02:24-02:24

    Okay, a few of you do.

    02:25-02:34

    Okay, well, you know, much of the pandemic paranoia has waned.

    02:38-02:40

    So I actually had to go looking for this.

    02:40-02:47

    It was in a winter coat pocket, but I still get emails from the Unmask company.

    02:48-02:50

    And this is the email that I got this past week.

    02:52-02:55

    We get the, okay, Unmask.

    02:57-03:02

    Now you see their little mission statement, purpose statement beside Unmask?

    03:02-03:10

    If you can't see it, it says, Unmask, elevating your drink and barware to the next level.

    03:15-03:17

    Let that sink in for a minute.

    03:18-03:23

    Unmask, elevating your drink and barware to the next level.

    03:23-03:28

    And then you see headline, we're selling yogis.

    03:30-03:36

    And I get these emails and every time I get them, I just think, man, that's weird.

    03:38-03:39

    I mean, think about it.

    03:40-03:51

    Imagine that you're an employee for the Unmask company and you meet somebody and they say to you, where do you work?

    03:52-03:54

    And you say, I work for Unmask.

    03:55-03:57

    And they say, what do you do there?

    03:59-04:01

    And you say, we make coffee cups.

    04:06-04:06

    What?

    04:08-04:10

    Somewhere they got off mission.

    04:11-04:13

    And listen, this is very important.

    04:13-04:15

    They started doing one thing.

    04:17-04:23

    And now what they do has nothing to do with why they started.

    04:24-04:25

    Are you tracking with me?

    04:27-04:34

    At some point, the people at Unmask realized that the thing that they do is no longer relevant.

    04:39-04:41

    Does that sound like churches today?

    04:43-04:50

    But there are a lot of churches that are saying, you know, the thing that we started out doing doesn't really seem relevant anymore.

    04:51-04:59

    And by the way, yeah, eventually Unmask was, they were, it was from day one, they had to have known they were gonna be irrelevant someday.

    05:00-05:04

    But you realize the church of Jesus Christ is never going to be irrelevant.

    05:05-05:12

    We're never gonna say, "Hey, you know what guys, "we're closing down, people stop sinning." Never gonna happen.

    05:16-05:20

    But the unmasked people figured their original thing was no longer relevant.

    05:20-05:25

    And like I said, every time I get those emails, I just think, man, that sounds like churches.

    05:29-05:35

    That we have this gospel that saves people from their sin.

    05:35-05:40

    We have this gospel that transforms people and churches are just like, I got an idea.

    05:41-05:43

    Let's do rock concerts and pep talks.

    05:44-05:46

    Like, why?

    05:49-05:58

    It's just so easy for churches to get off mission and become known for something that was never originally intended.

    06:04-06:07

    And I have to ask you, church, what are we known for?

    06:09-06:11

    And I don't just mean like the church in general.

    06:11-06:12

    I mean this church.

    06:13-06:14

    What are we known for?

    06:20-06:22

    I can tell you what we should be known for.

    06:23-06:25

    We should be known for being different from the world.

    06:27-06:27

    We should be.

    06:28-06:30

    Because we belong to a different kingdom.

    06:33-06:35

    We have different values.

    06:36-06:39

    We don't look at life the way the world looks at life.

    06:40-06:43

    We are called, church, we are called to be different.

    06:47-06:59

    I had a guy tell me one time, he said, "You know this guy that I've been working with "for the last five years, "he just found out I was a Christian." And he said, "Wow, I'm really surprised.

    06:59-07:03

    "I didn't know you were a Christian." And I'm like, "That's really not good."

    07:05-07:05

    (congregation laughing)

    07:05-07:14

    You worked with a guy for five years and you had not the whiff of Jesus Christ on you at all, that he was shocked when he found out.

    07:15-07:19

    Maybe you shouldn't tell that story, right?

    07:19-07:30

    People that have been transformed by Jesus should be obvious and churches, we get to this last stretch in Hebrews, that's where he starts us off.

    07:30-07:33

    Here's three things that you should be known for, church.

    07:33-07:35

    And when I say you, I mean church collectively.

    07:36-07:38

    These are things we should be known for.

    07:38-07:43

    And I mean, as a household, this is what your household should be known for.

    07:43-07:46

    And as an individual, this is what you should be known for.

    07:47-07:52

    So this message is like a check your rep kind of message, right?

    07:52-07:57

    Here's three things Jesus followers should be known for from this passage.

    07:57-07:58

    Number one, write this down.

    07:59-08:00

    We should be known for this.

    08:01-08:05

    And if we're not, we better do a serious self-check.

    08:06-08:07

    Number one is compassion.

    08:08-08:09

    We look for people to love.

    08:10-08:11

    Look at verse one.

    08:11-08:22

    It says, "Let brotherly love continue." Okay, brotherly love, that's Philadelphia, that's affection.

    08:23-08:27

    And it's important I remind you that love is not a feeling.

    08:29-08:30

    Love is a principle.

    08:32-08:33

    Love is self-sacrifice.

    08:34-08:36

    Love isn't a feeling, right?

    08:36-08:38

    'Cause feelings, they come and go, right?

    08:39-08:43

    Some days I really like something, some days I really dislike something.

    08:43-08:46

    Feelings come and go, but love is a principle.

    08:47-08:47

    It's a choice.

    08:48-08:51

    I am choosing to put you ahead of myself.

    08:51-08:52

    That's what love is.

    08:54-08:58

    And it's obvious here, he's talking to believers because he uses the word continue.

    08:58-09:00

    Let brotherly love continue.

    09:01-09:02

    He's saying it's already there.

    09:02-09:04

    You already have brotherly love.

    09:04-09:09

    He's like, "Hey, keep it up, keep it up." You're like, "Okay, great, on who?" Well, I'm glad you asked.

    09:09-09:10

    Look at verse two.

    09:11-09:13

    Here's the first call to compassion.

    09:14-09:29

    He says, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." The first call to compassion is hospitality to strangers.

    09:30-09:37

    And yes, yes, yes, we show hospitality to fellow believers, absolutely, for sure, but that's not what's in view here.

    09:37-09:42

    Specifically, he's talking about showing hospitality to strangers.

    09:42-09:43

    He's saying don't neglect that.

    09:44-09:49

    In other words, be intentional about showing love, showing hospitality to strangers.

    09:55-09:56

    What does that look like?

    09:56-10:08

    Well, you know, in the first century, you know, there were a lot of people traveling, missionaries, a lot of persecution, Jews being driven out when they come to faith in Christ and people needed places to stay.

    10:08-10:13

    You're like, well, how does that, how does the whole hospitality thing translate in our day?

    10:13-10:14

    Well, a lot of ways, actually.

    10:16-10:18

    You know, this church has a hospitality ministry.

    10:20-10:24

    We wanna make sure that everybody who comes through these doors feels welcomed and loved.

    10:25-10:26

    You should be part of that.

    10:27-10:32

    Everybody in this church is part of the hospitality ministry, right?

    10:34-10:41

    Some of you get this, even outside of the church, through things like foster care and adoption.

    10:41-10:46

    Those are ways that you can show extreme hospitality.

    10:47-10:55

    Whatever, whatever opportunity the Lord brings your way to show hospitality to strangers, the Hebrew writer says, don't neglect that.

    10:56-10:57

    Okay, don't neglect that.

    11:00-11:04

    But honestly, church, you know what our biggest obstacle with the whole hospitality thing is?

    11:04-11:05

    You know what the biggest obstacle is?

    11:09-11:10

    It's not that we don't want to.

    11:11-11:13

    It's not that we hate strangers or anything like that.

    11:14-11:16

    I think our biggest problem is busyness.

    11:19-11:26

    In our culture, we have packed our schedules so tight that there's no room for hospitality.

    11:29-11:34

    You couldn't welcome anyone into your home because when would you do it?

    11:36-11:46

    Everything from work to nine weeks of vacation, to camping, hobbies, sports.

    11:47-11:47

    Oh, that's the big one.

    11:49-11:55

    Some of y'all have elementary school kids that have a tighter sports schedule than Pittsburgh Pirates do.

    11:57-11:59

    They're like, "Man, Pastor Jeff, that's harsh." Listen to me.

    12:00-12:02

    I'm involved in all these things except camping.

    12:02-12:02

    I think camping's dumb.

    12:03-12:04

    But all these other things I do.

    12:06-12:07

    Do these other things.

    12:07-12:09

    I coach my son's hockey team.

    12:10-12:14

    So I'm not saying these things are bad and I'm not saying you shouldn't do them.

    12:14-12:15

    You absolutely should.

    12:15-12:17

    Here's what I am saying.

    12:18-12:26

    These things are great until they dictate your schedule to the point that you become a slave to your calendar.

    12:26-12:27

    That's the problem.

    12:29-12:36

    So yes, do these things, but church, and this isn't a new problem, but we suffocate ourselves.

    12:41-12:47

    It's not wise, and it doesn't give us opportunity to show any kind of hospitality.

    12:50-12:57

    We should be known, church, for compassion that results in real hospitality, even to strangers.

    12:57-12:59

    I love his reasoning here.

    12:59-13:02

    This is one of the most curious verses in the Bible, isn't it?

    13:03-13:05

    His reason, why should we show hospitality?

    13:05-13:07

    Why, why should I do that?

    13:07-13:14

    He says, "For thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Like, what?

    13:15-13:16

    I'm entertaining angels?

    13:18-13:23

    Well, to his Jewish audience, they would have known exactly right off the bat what he was talking about, right?

    13:24-13:30

    Abraham, Genesis 18, the Lord and two angels showed up and Abraham showed them hospitality.

    13:30-13:32

    You can check that story out later.

    13:34-13:39

    They just, they looked like men, but it was actually the Lord and two angels.

    13:44-13:59

    You know, back in high school, my wife and I went to the same high school and we had this gym teacher that was legendary.

    14:00-14:06

    Now that some of you know the legend that is Mr. Melsimenko, right Jay?

    14:09-14:15

    That's right, this guy was the most terrifying person I've ever met.

    14:16-14:18

    He was, he was just, he was scary.

    14:18-14:24

    He was like in the Canadian football league, once upon a time, he was like Canada's meanest man.

    14:24-14:26

    Look him up, he was terrifying.

    14:27-14:31

    Well, I'm hearing this story secondhand.

    14:31-14:33

    I wasn't there, but my wife was, okay?

    14:33-14:36

    She was a mackerel baby back at the time, right?

    14:36-14:36

    That's her maiden name.

    14:37-14:47

    So, but she told me one time in study hall, there was this new kid that came to the school and Samanka was the study hall, what do you call it?

    14:48-14:50

    Teachers, coaches, monitor, thank you.

    14:52-14:57

    But this kid comes in and plops down and just puts his head down on the desk and starts going to sleep.

    14:58-15:15

    And Mr. Simanko is reading his paper and he looks down over his paper and he says, "Hey, wake up, we're not sleeping here, "find something to do." And again, the kid, it was his first day, didn't know anybody, just got his stuff, right?

    15:15-15:24

    And the kid said, "I don't have anything to do, "it's my first day." So Simanko gets back to reading the paper, the kid puts his head back down and Simanko's like, "What did I tell you?

    15:24-15:38

    "We're not sleeping here." And the kid's like, "It's my first day, I don't have anything to do." Well, I'm not sure what happened next, but I know how the story ends.

    15:39-15:49

    As Samanka walked up to the kid, and Aaron can give you the details, she was there, I wasn't, but Samanka walked up to this kid and there was some kind of exchange between the kid and the gym teacher.

    15:50-15:58

    And the next thing you know, Mr. Samanka was holding the kid by his ankle upside down, a high school kid.

    15:59-16:05

    And he said, "Macaravy, go get the principal." So Aaron had to go get the principal.

    16:05-16:08

    And they never saw that kid after that, did they?

    16:09-16:16

    She says, "No." You're like, "Why are you telling us this horrible story?" Here's why.

    16:17-16:19

    You just never know who you're dealing with.

    16:22-16:23

    And that's what the Hebrew writer here is saying.

    16:26-16:29

    Obviously, he's not saying the angel is going to grab you and hold you upside down.

    16:30-16:32

    But I think you see the principles the same, right?

    16:33-16:35

    Sometimes you just don't know who you're dealing with.

    16:36-16:41

    And we show hospitality to strangers because we don't know the people that God is going to put in our lives.

    16:41-16:49

    We don't know the effect that that's going to have on them and the effect that that's going to have on other people and the effect that that's going to have in the kingdom of God.

    16:49-16:53

    We have no idea who we're dealing with sometimes.

    16:55-16:57

    So we show hospitality.

    16:59-17:03

    So get to know people, invite them into your home, invite them to your church, invite them to your small group.

    17:07-17:10

    Small groups are great opportunities to show hospitality, by the way.

    17:10-17:11

    Great opportunity.

    17:12-17:20

    Bringing people into your homes, sharing food together, laughing, swapping gym coach stories, and it's a great opportunity.

    17:20-17:23

    Getting into God's word, praying, great opportunity.

    17:25-17:27

    Church, your love for strangers reflects your love for God.

    17:28-17:31

    So more than anybody, we should be known for hospitality, right?

    17:32-17:35

    The second call for compassion is to remember the oppressed.

    17:35-17:36

    Look at verse three.

    17:37-17:51

    He says, "Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, "And those who are mistreated, "since you also are in the body." Prison, what's he talking about?

    17:51-18:01

    Again, in these days of intense persecution, a lot of Jewish Christians were in jail because of their faith.

    18:03-18:12

    And I think that that's specifically what he's talking about, clarifying by calling the mistreated people that were abused and oppressed.

    18:14-18:22

    His reasoning here to remember these oppressed people, he says, "You also are in the body." What's he saying?

    18:22-18:25

    He goes, "Hey, you're a physical body too, right?

    18:27-18:29

    Like you're flesh and blood like them, right?

    18:30-18:39

    You know, the pain that they're going through, you could go through that same pain, right?" Like what he's saying is like, how would you feel or what would you want people to do?

    18:39-18:44

    Like if you were the one in prison, Like, how would you want people to care for you?

    18:45-18:46

    You're a human body too, right?

    18:51-18:52

    Do you even care?

    18:53-18:54

    Really?

    18:55-18:57

    Some of you are like, no, I don't really care.

    18:59-19:01

    I'll just be honest with you, Jeff, I don't really care.

    19:02-19:04

    Well, then I got a sermon for you.

    19:05-19:06

    Here we go.

    19:06-19:08

    Five reasons to not show compassion.

    19:09-19:11

    This is for the people that don't care and don't wanna care.

    19:12-19:14

    All right, for the rest of you, just tune out for a second.

    19:15-19:17

    I'm gonna give you five reasons to not show compassion.

    19:17-19:18

    I'm gonna go through these quickly.

    19:21-19:24

    Here's why you shouldn't show compassion, okay?

    19:25-19:27

    Letter A, maybe it's their own fault.

    19:28-19:30

    Whatever they're going through, maybe it's their own fault.

    19:31-19:32

    So why should I give a rip?

    19:33-19:34

    They brought it on themselves.

    19:36-19:36

    Not my problem.

    19:38-19:39

    Why should I care, right?

    19:40-19:41

    Can I get an amen on that?

    19:42-19:42

    No?

    19:43-19:44

    All right, how about this one?

    19:44-19:45

    It goes right with it.

    19:45-19:48

    Letter B, maybe they should suffer to teach them a lesson.

    19:49-19:51

    Come on, somebody's gotta give me an amen on that one.

    19:52-19:53

    You know what?

    19:53-19:54

    Let them suffer, who cares?

    19:55-19:56

    Why show compassion?

    19:57-20:00

    Okay, if they got themselves into the mess, let them hurt a while.

    20:01-20:02

    Maybe they'll learn better next time.

    20:05-20:07

    Letter C, maybe they won't appreciate my help.

    20:10-20:12

    going with that is I've helped before and got burned, right?

    20:13-20:18

    I've helped people before and they're like, oh, I need your help so bad.

    20:19-20:31

    And then I help them and I spend time and money and they're just like, they're like Nancy going down in the baptistry, like, you know, deuces, stay fresh cheese bags.

    20:31-20:33

    I'm out of here, you'll never see me again.

    20:33-20:37

    And like, why should I help people if they're not gonna appreciate it?

    20:38-20:39

    Is anybody gonna amen this?

    20:43-20:45

    Letter D, five reasons to not show compassion.

    20:45-20:47

    Letter D, maybe they'll waste what I give them.

    20:48-20:50

    Oh, come on, somebody, somebody amen that.

    20:52-20:52

    Okay.

    20:55-20:58

    That was underwhelming, but I appreciate the effort.

    20:59-21:00

    Maybe they'll waste what I give them.

    21:01-21:12

    Right, what if I gave them money, and they just go, and they go spend it on, They go spend it on booze and scratchy lotteries.

    21:12-21:15

    And what if they just waste it?

    21:19-21:22

    Letter E, maybe I got my own problems to deal with.

    21:26-21:29

    Come on, I got a full plate.

    21:31-21:33

    I don't have time for other people's problems.

    21:34-21:36

    Those are five reasons to not show compassion.

    21:37-21:43

    And I suppose you could justify yourself that way.

    21:45-21:46

    But here's the real sermon.

    21:46-21:48

    Here's the real sermon, one reason to show compassion.

    21:48-21:49

    You ready for this?

    21:49-21:50

    One reason to show compassion.

    21:51-21:53

    Here it is, letter A, Jesus.

    21:55-21:57

    This is why we show compassion, church.

    21:58-21:59

    There you go.

    22:00-22:02

    Come on, this is why we show compassion, church.

    22:02-22:03

    Come on.

    22:03-22:04

    Amen.

    22:05-22:06

    It's because of Jesus.

    22:08-22:21

    Now, you know, when Jesus saved you, when he showed compassion for you, when he died for you, when he suffered on the cross for you, all those reasons to not show compassion, I guarantee you, he could have said those about you.

    22:22-22:23

    And he could have said them about me.

    22:25-22:28

    Jesus could have looked at me and said, "Jeff's problems are his own fault.

    22:29-22:36

    "Maybe Jeff should suffer for what he's done." Jesus could have said, Jeff's not always going to appreciate my help the way that I think he should.

    22:36-22:37

    He would have been right about that.

    22:38-22:42

    Jesus could have said, maybe I'll waste what he does for me or gives me.

    22:44-22:47

    Jesus certainly has a bigger fish to fry than me.

    22:47-22:53

    But Jesus didn't use any of those lame excuses to not show compassion and church.

    22:53-22:56

    Neither should we.

    22:58-23:02

    How can you understand everything that Jesus has done for us?

    23:03-23:06

    and not have compassion on others who are hurting.

    23:08-23:15

    You just can't turn your heads in the needy, in your church, in your neighborhood, in your workplace.

    23:15-23:21

    Look, this year in small groups, we are getting back into community outreach.

    23:22-23:32

    And I know COVID and all that pandemic nonsense that kept us going, doing the things that we used to do.

    23:36-23:41

    I really shut down our outreach for a while, but we're getting back into it harder than ever.

    23:42-23:50

    So get out there, find people and show them that we're known for having the compassion of Jesus.

    23:50-23:50

    All right?

    23:52-23:54

    Three things we should be known for.

    23:55-23:56

    Number two is covenant.

    23:58-23:59

    Number two is covenant.

    23:59-24:01

    We believe marriage is a great thing.

    24:04-24:05

    Look at verse four.

    24:07-24:14

    He says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all." Marriage should be held in honor among all.

    24:14-24:17

    Marriage is sacred to God, okay?

    24:18-24:18

    He created it.

    24:20-24:20

    It's his idea.

    24:21-24:23

    And where did Jesus do his first miracle?

    24:24-24:24

    Anybody know?

    24:25-24:26

    At a wedding, right?

    24:27-24:34

    And the Holy Spirit uses marriage as the picture of the relationship between Jesus and the church.

    24:35-24:36

    Ephesians 5.

    24:39-24:40

    Marriage should be held in honor.

    24:40-24:49

    And I love this, it says, "Among all." That means even if your marriage isn't in a great place right now, you should still honor marriage.

    24:49-24:56

    Even if you had a bad marriage in the past, you should honor marriage.

    24:57-25:02

    Even if you're an unmarried person, you're like, well, how does an unmarried person honor marriage?

    25:02-25:04

    Well, Paul did it, he wasn't married.

    25:04-25:05

    Look at the stuff he wrote about marriage.

    25:06-25:09

    This should be a place where we honor marriage.

    25:10-25:12

    Marriage is not honored when it's redefined.

    25:14-25:19

    Marriage is not honored when a couple lives together like a married couple without getting married.

    25:20-25:24

    Marriage isn't honored when a husband and wife are neglecting each other.

    25:27-25:33

    On the way to work this week, I was listening to the sports radio and it was kind of like an in-between segment thing.

    25:33-25:41

    They were talking about calling, using the phone, getting dates and stuff when you were young, what that was like as a kid.

    25:41-25:50

    I know some of you don't understand the phone used to be attached with a cord to the wall and if the phone rang, you had no idea who it was.

    25:50-25:52

    and we lived like absolute barbarians.

    25:54-25:59

    But they were talking about that kind of stuff and the conversation sort of evolved into marriage.

    25:59-26:23

    And the one guy said, "Well, so-and-so has some advice about marriage." And the other guy who he was speaking about said, "Yeah, here's my marriage advice, don't do it." I'm like, well, that's the way the world views marriage.

    26:24-26:27

    It's this huge mistake.

    26:28-26:39

    It's this thing that you get into and then you regret it and then you lose half your stuff and it just results in so much bitterness and just don't do it.

    26:39-26:40

    It's not worth it.

    26:44-26:46

    And I would say, hey, not at this church.

    26:47-26:49

    This church should be known as a place that honors marriage.

    26:51-27:00

    Look, going on in verse four, he says, "And let the marriage bed be undefiled." The marriage bed undefiled.

    27:04-27:05

    What's he saying?

    27:06-27:10

    Husbands and wives, go for it.

    27:12-27:13

    Go for what?

    27:13-27:14

    You know what?

    27:15-27:19

    God gave you this incredible gift, husbands and wives.

    27:19-27:21

    God gave you this gift.

    27:21-27:22

    Use it.

    27:23-27:25

    Use it as much as you want.

    27:26-27:27

    Use it as much as you can.

    27:28-27:31

    Enjoy the heck out of each other.

    27:33-27:36

    Just keep the gift in the marriage bed, right?

    27:37-27:38

    That's what honors God.

    27:42-27:43

    He goes on.

    27:43-27:55

    He says, "For God will judge the sexually immoral "and the adulterous." God will judge.

    27:56-28:00

    Unbelievers, for sure, facing the judgment of God.

    28:01-28:11

    Society, facing God's judgment regarding perversion and sexuality.

    28:11-28:13

    We're living in God's judgment right now.

    28:18-28:21

    Consequences, God has built them right in.

    28:24-28:26

    Yeah, maybe it won't be lightning and plagues, right?

    28:27-28:39

    Maybe you won't commit adultery and get struck by locust lightning or whatever, but I would suggest to you that there's worse things that come through sexual immorality.

    28:40-28:41

    Things like marriage collapse.

    28:43-28:49

    Things like kids who are devastated and never get over that.

    28:50-28:51

    Some of you know what I'm talking about.

    28:51-29:01

    I talk to people as adults, as grown adults, people older than me that are still devastated by their parents' divorce when they were teenagers.

    29:06-29:10

    venereal disease, financial issues, suicide.

    29:13-29:14

    Keep the marriage bed undefiled.

    29:16-29:20

    God gave this awesome gift and he said, "Here's the place you use it, right?

    29:22-29:27

    Use it there and only there." And I know, I know, I know it's 2023.

    29:28-29:31

    And right now there are people who are like, I hear what you're saying, Jeff.

    29:31-29:34

    You're saying only sex and marriage, that's so square.

    29:35-29:37

    And I'm like, first of all, nobody says square anymore.

    29:39-29:41

    I think Huey Lewis and the news were the last people to say that.

    29:45-29:47

    Like why only sex and marriage?

    29:47-29:48

    I mean, isn't that old fashioned?

    29:48-29:49

    Why is that?

    29:49-29:50

    Why, why?

    29:50-29:51

    I'm gonna tell you why.

    29:53-29:54

    It's because marriage is a covenant.

    29:58-30:04

    And intimacy belongs to those in the covenant.

    30:06-30:08

    Forget about sexuality for a second.

    30:09-30:11

    Let's talk about our covenant with God.

    30:12-30:20

    God established this covenant through Jesus Christ that we enter through faith in Christ.

    30:21-30:26

    And when we enter covenant with God, how intimate is the relationship between God and man?

    30:27-30:31

    God comes and lives inside, right?

    30:32-30:34

    That's the ultimate form of intimacy.

    30:34-30:41

    God says, "I'm not some distant God that's far away." He's gonna live inside of us.

    30:42-30:44

    There's no closer relationship.

    30:44-30:54

    And in the same way, when a man and woman are in the covenant of marriage, the Bible says the two shall become one flesh.

    30:54-31:00

    The physical form of intimacy takes place on the marriage bed.

    31:03-31:09

    There is no closer physical intimacy than this.

    31:10-31:16

    And that's why it's only for people that are in the covenant of marriage.

    31:18-31:20

    You understand what I'm saying?

    31:21-31:23

    Any further questions, ask your mom, okay?

    31:25-31:26

    But this is the point.

    31:29-31:31

    It's not square, it's not old-fashioned.

    31:32-31:35

    It's using God's gift the way he intended it to be used.

    31:36-31:39

    And when that's done, it's awesome.

    31:39-31:42

    And when it's not done, it's destructive.

    31:44-31:46

    So Jesus is always faithful to his bride.

    31:47-31:51

    The church, his bride must respond by being faithful to only him.

    31:52-31:55

    And that's the dynamic to be emulated in a marriage.

    31:58-32:14

    So, despite all of the goofiness that the world is pitching about marriage and sexuality, we, we must be known as people who honor biblical marriage.

    32:15-32:16

    Right?

    32:17-32:20

    So three things we must be known for, Jesus followers.

    32:20-32:23

    One is compassion, two is covenant.

    32:23-32:25

    The third thing is contentment.

    32:27-32:29

    Contentment, we have all we need.

    32:33-32:41

    Look at verse five, it says, "Keep your life free from love of money." Free from love of money.

    32:45-32:50

    One of the most misquoted verses in the Bible, people say, "Money's the root of all evil." Is that true?

    32:55-32:58

    The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.

    32:59-33:02

    Money, listen, money in and of itself is not evil, but people think that.

    33:03-33:05

    Money in and of itself is not evil.

    33:06-33:10

    I have proof of that because I have some money.

    33:12-33:18

    My wallet has never tried to kill me when I'm sleeping because it's not evil.

    33:19-33:23

    My debit card has never slandered me because it's not evil.

    33:25-33:26

    Money itself is not evil.

    33:26-33:28

    Money's just a tool.

    33:31-33:31

    It's the love of money.

    33:32-33:35

    Money, and listen, it's money in any amount, by the way.

    33:35-33:43

    We live in a day that if you have a lot of money, you're a horrible person, which isn't true.

    33:43-33:45

    Money in and of itself is not evil.

    33:48-33:49

    It's loving money.

    33:49-33:55

    That is what God says to avoid, because when you love money, you never have enough.

    33:55-34:01

    Look, he goes on in verse five, he says, and be content with what you have.

    34:03-34:05

    We, church, should be known for being content people.

    34:06-34:10

    We should be a people that say, I have all I need.

    34:11-34:11

    Can you say that?

    34:12-34:13

    I'm gonna give you a run at it.

    34:14-34:15

    I'll give you a second, I'm gonna prepare you.

    34:19-34:23

    But I want you to say that, I have all that I need.

    34:23-34:24

    Say that.

    34:25-34:26

    I have all that I need.

    34:27-34:28

    Do you believe that?

    34:30-34:31

    I have all that I need.

    34:35-34:40

    I'm so happy, I'm so thankful with what I have.

    34:42-34:45

    Like, you're like, man, that's so hard to do.

    34:45-34:46

    How do I do that?

    34:48-34:58

    If you can understand this one thing, you're not going to struggle with contentment and covetousness and greed.

    34:59-35:06

    If you can understand this one principle, the principle is this, God is the one who gives you what you have.

    35:08-35:11

    We studied this in Ecclesiastes last year, remember that?

    35:11-35:14

    Ecclesiastes 5.19, I'm sure you all remember this.

    35:14-35:16

    I'm just gonna give us a refresher.

    35:16-35:29

    It says, "Everyone also to whom God has given wealth "and possessions and power to enjoy them "and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil, "this is the gift of God." So where does our stuff come from?

    35:30-35:31

    It comes from God.

    35:31-35:33

    The principles throughout, right?

    35:33-35:37

    Deuteronomy 8, 18, 1 Chronicles 29, 12, Hosea 2, 8.

    35:37-35:41

    Everything you have has been given to you by God.

    35:42-35:48

    And if you can understand and accept that, You will be a content person just walking through life.

    35:48-35:52

    Everything I have, everything I need, God's just gonna give me.

    35:53-35:54

    I'm not worried about it.

    35:54-35:55

    I'm not looking for more.

    35:55-35:58

    I'm not crying because I don't have what somebody else has.

    35:58-36:01

    God's just gonna give me everything that I need.

    36:01-36:03

    So I'm not, I'm content.

    36:03-36:04

    I'm happy.

    36:06-36:07

    Are you there?

    36:11-36:22

    You know, the Old Testament under Moses, when he led the Israelites out of Egypt, you know, to the promised land, we talked about that a lot through Hebrews.

    36:23-36:28

    But on that trip, God provided Israel the most perfect food ever.

    36:28-36:29

    It was called manna.

    36:31-36:33

    If you know the story, where was the manna?

    36:34-36:36

    They didn't go to sheets for it.

    36:37-36:38

    Where was it?

    36:39-36:40

    It was just on the ground.

    36:41-36:43

    God provided the perfect food to every morning.

    36:43-36:50

    All you had to do was roll out of your tent and your food was on the ground.

    36:51-36:53

    And it was perfect in every way.

    36:53-36:57

    And we have biblical evidence that speaks to how perfect it was.

    36:57-36:58

    We'll talk about that another time.

    36:58-37:03

    But just know that it was a perfect food that God's just like, here you go.

    37:04-37:05

    I'll feed you.

    37:06-37:07

    It's right there.

    37:07-37:08

    You can't get any closer.

    37:09-37:10

    You're standing on some.

    37:10-37:14

    "Get up." Was Israel content?

    37:17-37:18

    Was Israel content?

    37:19-37:27

    No, in fact, they wanted to go back to Egypt, and one of their reasons was the food there.

    37:29-37:30

    You remember that?

    37:30-37:35

    They're like, "Do you remember back in Egypt, "there were like the pots of flesh?" Like, that's really gross.

    37:35-37:36

    They just mean there's meat.

    37:36-37:37

    It's a gross way to put it.

    37:38-37:41

    And they were like, "We had the cucumbers and the leeks." And I'm like, "I call baloney.

    37:41-37:52

    Nobody's ever gotten excited about a leek." But they were like, "Oh, we just wish we were back in Egypt." And Numbers chapter 11, they actually said this.

    37:53-38:00

    They said, "All we have is this manna to look at." Wrap your brain around that statement for a second.

    38:01-38:05

    God's like, "Here you go, perfect food every day.

    38:06-38:11

    Just bend over and pick it up." life to all we have is this stupid man it'll look at.

    38:14-38:15

    Excuse me?

    38:15-38:16

    What, what?

    38:19-38:19

    Winers.

    38:22-38:24

    It's like a bunch of toddlers, right?

    38:27-38:31

    But church, listen, when you're not content, you sound exactly like them.

    38:34-38:40

    When you're not content with what God has given you, you are just like Israel.

    38:41-38:45

    What you're saying, you might not be using these words, but this is what you're saying.

    38:45-38:46

    Like, this is it, God?

    38:47-38:48

    This is all you're gonna give me?

    38:49-38:50

    I want more.

    38:51-38:52

    I want different.

    38:55-38:59

    Oh, this is a sermon for another time, but some of you know how that story ends.

    39:01-39:03

    God gave them meat, by the way.

    39:03-39:17

    God's like, "Oh, you want meat." God says, "I'll give you meat until it comes out of your noses." And the Bible says that while they were eating the quail that God provided while the meat was between their teeth before it was consumed, God struck them dead.

    39:22-39:32

    And I don't think the Bible explicitly says, but I imagine after that event, everybody else in Israel that wasn't struck dead was like, "You know what I'm hungry for?

    39:34-39:34

    "Mana.

    39:36-39:38

    "Mana is my favorite thing ever.

    39:39-39:40

    "I love mana.

    39:41-39:48

    "Send me a mana sandwich with a side of mana soup "and a tall, cold glass of mana." Right?

    39:50-39:51

    We should be known for being content.

    39:52-39:53

    We have all that we need.

    39:54-39:57

    Here's a couple of markers of content people.

    40:02-40:05

    Content people, first of all, don't judge what other people have.

    40:07-40:08

    That's a mark of content people.

    40:09-40:12

    Content people don't judge what other people have.

    40:15-40:17

    Did you see that car he was driving?

    40:18-40:19

    How much does he make?

    40:21-40:24

    Did you see that purse that she was carrying?

    40:25-40:26

    What's a bougie purse company?

    40:27-40:29

    Shout one out, I don't know.

    40:30-40:32

    Gucci, Louis Vuitton, okay.

    40:34-40:37

    Did you see that Louis Vuitton purse that she was carrying?

    40:42-40:44

    Here's what content people say.

    40:44-40:45

    Okay, God gave that to them.

    40:47-40:50

    I drive the car that I have and I carry my Walmart purse.

    40:51-40:52

    Well, I mean, I don't.

    40:53-40:53

    (audience laughing)

    40:55-40:56

    I don't carry the Walmart purse.

    40:59-41:01

    But that's what content people say.

    41:02-41:06

    Like, okay, so he drives that kind of car, good for him.

    41:07-41:08

    I hope it's awesome.

    41:10-41:14

    So she has a Louis Gucci purse or whatever, so she's good for her.

    41:15-41:17

    I hope she has a closet full of them.

    41:18-41:20

    I hope she loves that purse so much.

    41:21-41:30

    Not like in an idolatry way, But I hope that she loves it in the Lord or whatever.

    41:32-41:36

    Several months ago, I was at a funeral home for a visitation.

    41:37-41:42

    And when I was walking out, there was a lady in the lobby just by herself.

    41:45-42:00

    And we got chatting and she's like, "How do you know the deceased?" And I said, "Well, I'm a pastor and I've known the family and da, da, da." She goes, "Oh, you're a pastor." She said, right out of the gate, she goes, "What do you think about how much money Joel Osteen makes?"

    42:01-42:02

    (congregation laughing)

    42:06-42:15

    And I gotta be honest with you, church, I am genuinely surprised at how many times over the course of my ministry, I've been asked my opinion on Joel Osteen's salary.

    42:19-42:23

    And I told her, I said, What Joel Osteen makes isn't my business.

    42:23-42:27

    Like, why should I care what Joel Osteen makes?

    42:28-42:30

    Do I look like Mrs. Osteen?

    42:31-42:32

    What's her name?

    42:33-42:33

    Veronica or whatever?

    42:34-42:35

    Victoria.

    42:35-42:37

    Do I look like Victoria Osteen?

    42:37-42:38

    And be careful how you answer that.

    42:39-42:41

    But why should I care what he makes?

    42:43-42:47

    I don't give to support his organization.

    42:50-42:58

    And listen, I say this with all the love I can muster, you gotta grab hold of this.

    42:58-43:00

    Look, what God gives somebody else is not your business.

    43:01-43:03

    It is not your business.

    43:05-43:12

    Your business, according to the Bible, is to be content with what you have.

    43:13-43:14

    Do you see that?

    43:17-43:19

    Here's another marker of contentment.

    43:20-43:21

    We're wrapping up, I promise.

    43:21-43:26

    I didn't preach for like five weeks, so I've had all this building up.

    43:28-43:28

    Here's another one.

    43:29-43:33

    Content people aren't afraid of not having what they need.

    43:35-43:37

    That's another marker of contentment.

    43:37-43:40

    You don't have the anxiety of lacking.

    43:41-43:42

    That's another marker of contentment.

    43:45-43:46

    How does that work?

    43:46-43:52

    It's because content people have learned that contentment It doesn't come from having stuff.

    43:54-43:56

    Contentment comes from having Jesus.

    43:59-44:00

    Look at verse 5.

    44:03-44:05

    Again, he says, "Be content with what you have.

    44:05-44:07

    Why should I do that?" Here's the reason, look.

    44:07-44:17

    "For He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" God said that.

    44:18-44:19

    Oh, he's not finished.

    44:19-44:24

    He says, "So we, we can confidently say, "the Lord is my helper.

    44:25-44:26

    "I will not fear.

    44:26-44:33

    "What can man do to me?" He's quoting Joshua 1.5.

    44:35-44:37

    Actually, Jesus said something very similar.

    44:39-44:40

    Right, Great Commission, I'm with you always.

    44:41-44:43

    Right, he's quoting Psalm 118, verse six.

    44:45-44:49

    But this, he will never leave you in the original language, that was the strongest negative.

    44:51-44:55

    Okay, so he will never leave you is sort of an understatement in translation.

    44:55-45:04

    What it's saying is, God is saying, I will never, ever, under any circumstances abandon you.

    45:05-45:06

    I would never do that.

    45:11-45:14

    He says, so we're not going to fear, right?

    45:14-45:15

    You see that?

    45:15-45:17

    He says, "I will not fear," verse six.

    45:18-45:19

    Like, what, fear what?

    45:21-45:23

    Fear lacking, fear being without.

    45:24-45:30

    In chapter 10, verse 34, these people were being plundered for their faith, right?

    45:31-45:37

    They were being robbed because they belonged to Jesus.

    45:39-45:47

    And he says, "And our response should just simply be this, "that's okay, that's okay." because the Lord is my helper.

    45:49-45:56

    My God has $6 trillion just in the cup holder of his Lamborghini.

    45:59-46:01

    So if I have Jesus, I have everything.

    46:03-46:08

    And I don't have anything to worry about because he promised that he'd never forsake me.

    46:09-46:11

    You see, church, that's where contentment comes from.

    46:13-46:21

    Contentment comes from real faith that says, "I believe that God is always with me.

    46:22-46:38

    And I believe that he's going to give me everything that I need." Our worship team would make their way back to the platform here.

    46:39-46:45

    You know, I think it was several months ago, maybe up to a year now, in a meeting.

    46:48-46:54

    Regarding hospitality, we were meeting with Mackenzie Blasco, and she has a question that, I was like, wow, I wasn't expecting that.

    46:54-47:00

    But she said, she asked me this, she says, "How close is this church to your original vision?" You remember asking that, Mackenzie?

    47:01-47:14

    She's, "How close is this church to your original vision?" And I said, "This is exactly what I wanted to see." This church isn't perfect.

    47:16-47:17

    That's certainly not what I meant.

    47:20-47:21

    But this church is real.

    47:22-47:24

    And this church is sincere.

    47:25-47:36

    And this church is actively seeking to grow in our individual family and collective walks with Jesus Christ by his grace.

    47:39-47:41

    You know, I've thought about Mackenzie's question often.

    47:45-47:49

    What if I asked you, what kind of church do you want?

    47:51-47:55

    We could get one of the handheld mics and walk around and get everyone's opinion.

    47:55-47:58

    I imagine we'd probably get dozens of different types of answers.

    47:59-48:00

    What kind of church do you want?

    48:00-48:02

    But I guess we're asking the wrong question.

    48:04-48:07

    I think the right question is, what kind of church does Jesus want?

    48:09-48:10

    Isn't that a better question?

    48:11-48:12

    Can I get an amen on that?

    48:13-48:13

    Okay, that was better.

    48:14-48:16

    What kind of church does Jesus want?

    48:18-48:19

    Well, he tells us right here.

    48:21-48:26

    "We should be a church known for compassion." We're looking for people to love.

    48:27-48:29

    We're a church that's about covenant.

    48:29-48:37

    Our covenant with God through Jesus Christ, the covenant, the new covenant, through the blood of Jesus, but also the covenant of marriage.

    48:37-48:41

    We believe, and this, when you come in here, we think marriage is a great thing here.

    48:43-48:45

    The last thing we should be known for is contentment.

    48:46-48:49

    We're just people, we walk around satisfied.

    48:50-48:53

    Like, I have everything that I need.

    48:55-48:56

    God's going to make sure of that.

    48:58-48:59

    You bow with me in prayer.

    49:00-49:13

    Father in heaven, in a day of consumerism and competition and marketing and all that stuff.

    49:13-49:17

    It's easy for the church to think, what do I need to do to compete?

    49:17-49:19

    What do I need to do to be flashy?

    49:23-49:25

    What do I, what kind of gimmick do I need?

    49:28-49:32

    But the reality is, Father, you haven't called us to gimmicks you've called us to faithfulness.

    49:33-49:36

    And your word tells us right here kind of reputation we should have.

    49:37-49:38

    So Father, I wanna pray for this church.

    49:43-49:50

    Because it's only the decisions we make in our walks and for our homes, that's gonna determine the kind of people we are when we come together here.

    49:54-49:58

    Father, warm our hearts towards compassion.

    50:02-50:06

    Father, let us repent of any negative attitudes or words that we've had towards marriage.

    50:08-50:15

    Father, let us be people who are truly satisfied, not because of the stuff we have, but because of the God that we have.

    50:16-50:32

    I just pray, Father, that we are so focused on being the kind of people that you have called us to be, and that you give us the opportunity to just get out into our community and let them see the difference that Jesus Christ makes.

    50:37-50:43

    Father, we do pray for the members of this church, the people of this church to grow.

    50:43-51:04

    We pray for this church itself to grow, but Father, only in a way that honors you, only in a way that's empowered by you, only in a way that people can look at us and say, God must be in their midst.

    51:05-51:07

    Show up powerfully, Father.

    51:10-51:13

    Not for our reputation, ultimately it's for yours.

    51:14-51:17

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Hebrews 13:1-6

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. What do you think HBC is known for?

  3. What are some practical ways that you can show hospitality to strangers?

  4. How would you answer this question: why is sex only for married people (Heb 13:4)?

  5. In what areas do you struggle with contentment (Heb 13:5)?

Breakout
Pray for one another, and pray for HBC to be a church known for compassion, covenant, and contentment.

God's Design for Marriage

Introduction:

Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

God's Design for Marriage (Genesis 2:18-25):

  1. Leave for your new priority.
  2. Cleave to your wife exclusively.
  3. Weave your lives together in unity.

    Matthew 19:6 - So they are no longer two but one flesh.

    Matthew 19:6 - What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

3 Things to Embrace to Grow in Unity:

  1. I keep no Secrets .
  2. I do nothing that makes my spouse Uncomfortable .
  3. My money is Our money .

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:54-00:58

    Open your Bibles up with me please to Genesis chapter 2.

    00:59-01:02

    And we're in a series called Foundations.

    01:04-01:05

    Why Foundations?

    01:05-01:06

    Why this series?

    01:07-01:10

    Because the foundations are under attack like never before.

    01:13-01:19

    You see the Bible says, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." And the world says, "No, he didn't.

    01:19-01:22

    or product of evolution, chance, mutations.

    01:25-01:30

    The Bible says that God created them male and female.

    01:30-01:32

    And the world says, no, he didn't.

    01:34-01:34

    Gender is fluid.

    01:35-01:37

    You can be whatever gender you want.

    01:37-01:38

    And how many genders are there now?

    01:39-01:40

    72 or something.

    01:43-01:45

    Can you not see this as a direct attack on the word of God?

    01:47-01:52

    The Bible says marriage is between a man and a woman, and the world says, no, it's not.

    01:53-01:56

    It can be between two men, it can be between two women.

    01:56-02:00

    I've even read articles of people marrying their pets.

    02:03-02:06

    It really is those last two that we're going to focus on today.

    02:07-02:11

    Male and female, and marriage between a man and a woman.

    02:11-02:19

    We're gonna be talking about issues of gender and sexuality and marriage.

    02:25-02:31

    And I've got to be honest with you, I never dreamed I would have to say some of the things that I have to say today.

    02:33-02:45

    Because I've been in ministry now for twenty-some odd years, and yeah, there's been a lot of teaching against evolution, you know, teaching for biblical creation, taking the Word of God straightforwardly.

    02:46-02:48

    I get all that, I've been doing that for decades.

    02:51-02:58

    I never imagined there would come a day that I'd have to stand up and defend the fact that there are two genders.

    03:02-03:23

    That I would have to say, "It's not okay to call a man a woman or to call a woman a man." But unless you've been living under a rock or without TV or internet, kind of envy you if that's you, then you realize this is the hot topic right now, right?

    03:26-03:36

    Pennsylvania swimmer Leah Thomas becomes the first known transgender athlete to win Division I National Championship.

    03:37-03:41

    A man who competed against women.

    03:44-03:49

    Maybe you saw the president insisted that the next Supreme Court justice be a woman.

    03:50-04:03

    And at the confirmation hearings, ironically, this woman couldn't define what a woman is because she's not a, what?

    04:04-04:05

    Not a biologist.

    04:05-04:06

    You saw that, right?

    04:07-04:08

    Isn't that interesting?

    04:08-04:12

    You could go grab any kid up in Harvest Kids right now and say, what's a man, what's a woman?

    04:13-04:14

    And any one of those kids could tell you.

    04:16-04:20

    But we have somebody that's a potential Supreme Court justice who doesn't know.

    04:23-04:25

    Maybe you've been following what's going on in Florida.

    04:26-04:30

    The governor of Florida signed a controversial sex education bill.

    04:30-04:31

    Did you see this?

    04:33-04:44

    This controversial sex education bill forbids instruction on sex orientation and gender identification in kindergarten through third grade.

    04:47-04:49

    I can't believe I have to stand up here and say this.

    04:50-05:01

    That there is intense national scrutiny over this governor who had the audacity to say the teachers shouldn't be teaching sexuality to kindergartners.

    05:02-05:02

    What?

    05:03-05:04

    Why is that controversial?

    05:07-05:08

    Somebody explain that to me.

    05:11-05:29

    I heard somebody say this week, "If it takes a law to stop you from holding a classroom discussion about sex with five-year-olds, you shouldn't be a teacher, and you probably shouldn't be allowed within miles of a school." I could go on.

    05:32-05:39

    But the whole issue of marriage and sexuality has become so, so twisted.

    05:42-05:57

    And I've got to tell you, church, it's real easy for us to kind of step back and be like, "Shame on them perverted sinners." I might have been there at one point.

    06:00-06:07

    But I've got to tell you something that happened to me one time that just completely changed the way I look at these things.

    06:10-06:14

    I was in Walmart, up in Butler of all places.

    06:15-06:17

    Like, "Oh, Pastor Jeff, you shop at Walmart.

    06:17-06:27

    I didn't know you were doing so well for yourself." I was in Walmart and walking through the aisles, I saw a bunch of teenage boys.

    06:28-06:29

    They were kind of laughing.

    06:29-06:32

    And I, look, I was a teenage boy once upon a time too.

    06:32-06:33

    I knew what was going on.

    06:33-06:38

    They were laughing and making trouble.

    06:39-06:54

    And there was something that really, they were really engrossed in making a project for themselves, but I didn't know what it was.

    06:55-07:09

    Until I kept walking, I saw in the next aisle, I saw a person standing, a very tall person wearing a black dress and a black hat and black gloves and black high heels.

    07:13-07:21

    And I made the connection, I'm like, "Those kids are laughing at that girl." But I couldn't put the pieces together as to why.

    07:22-07:29

    So later when I was coming back through the store, I passed what I thought was that woman coming up the aisle.

    07:32-07:33

    And it wasn't a woman, it was a man.

    07:35-07:36

    A cross-dresser.

    07:38-07:44

    And that's what the kids had sort of, they were laughing and throwing their insults or whatever.

    07:47-07:50

    But the look on his face, I will never forget.

    07:52-07:58

    He looked like he was about to burst into just uncontrollable weeping.

    07:59-08:08

    And there was a sense of just absolute despondent misery hanging over this person.

    08:10-08:11

    And that stuck with me.

    08:13-08:18

    Because I thought, "Man, this is what you thought was going to make you happy." And it obviously hasn't.

    08:21-08:33

    So church, I just want to preface this stuff to say, look, as we talk about issues of marriage and sexuality, it's so easy to condemn and to make fun of and to write off.

    08:34-08:40

    And maybe church, we need to seek the Lord on how to reach such people.

    08:43-08:53

    Because maybe there's a lot more of them like that guy that aren't parading it and celebrating it as much as they are maybe trapped by it.

    08:54-08:56

    Maybe living in misery over it.

    08:59-09:00

    People like that need the gospel.

    09:03-09:04

    People like us need the gospel.

    09:05-09:09

    You realize the Bible says that we all like sheep go astray each to his own way.

    09:10-09:14

    And even if you don't sin like that guy in Walmart sin, you have your own sin tendency.

    09:15-09:17

    And you need Jesus Christ just as much as that guy.

    09:18-09:24

    He has made His grace available for you, whether you're watching this, whether you're sitting here.

    09:26-09:29

    Whatever your situation is, His grace is available.

    09:29-09:31

    He died on the cross for your sins.

    09:31-09:33

    He rose from the dead to give you eternal life.

    09:35-09:38

    That's the love of God, and that's the transforming power of the gospel.

    09:41-09:46

    This is the world that our children are inheriting.

    09:47-09:55

    A world that not only denies God's clear plan for marriage, not only can't recognize what a man or a woman is, but insists that you play along.

    09:58-10:00

    So again, church, we're getting back to the foundation.

    10:02-10:06

    The foundation that God created them, male and female.

    10:06-10:11

    The foundation that God designed marriage and all that really matters is what he said about it.

    10:15-10:28

    And before we look at the text, you know, if you're single, I don't want you to feel like you can tune out right now.

    10:30-10:32

    Sometimes God calls people to be single.

    10:34-10:39

    Or maybe your time of no longer being single is just around the corner for you.

    10:40-10:45

    So you're going to want to pay extra special attention to what God has to say about this.

    10:45-11:00

    And if you're divorced, or if you're widowed, we're not denying the pain of a marriage ending for whatever reason.

    11:03-11:12

    All I simply want to do today is take a look at what God's original plan was and is for marriage.

    11:14-11:24

    So, if you are married, or if you're about to get married, this especially applies to you today.

    11:27-11:27

    All right?

    11:28-11:38

    Genesis chapter 2, we're going to pick up in verse 18, but chapter 1 verse 27 says that God created, and on day six, he created them male and female.

    11:40-11:41

    That's Genesis chapter 1.

    11:41-11:48

    Genesis 2 sort of zooms in and gives details like, "Okay, God created them male and female.

    11:48-11:49

    He created humans.

    11:49-11:53

    We better unpack that a little bit." Right?

    11:53-11:55

    And that's what Genesis 2 does.

    11:55-12:00

    Let's pick up in verse 18 in what has been the longest introduction ever.

    12:03-12:04

    You are so gracious.

    12:05-12:11

    Verse 18 says, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone.

    12:11-12:15

    I will make him a helper fit for him.'" Stop here.

    12:16-12:21

    At this point, okay, this zooming in, this rewind, it's talking about when it was just Adam.

    12:22-12:25

    There was only one human being created, and it was man.

    12:28-12:36

    But notice in verse 18, God says, "It is not good." when you read the creation account, everything was good to this point.

    12:36-12:38

    It was good, it was good, it was good, it was good.

    12:38-12:41

    And then finally we get here and God says, no, here's something that's not good.

    12:41-12:44

    This is the first negative you could say.

    12:48-12:51

    But it's not saying that something was evil or bad.

    12:53-12:56

    Everything in and of itself was perfect.

    12:58-13:00

    The problem was it just wasn't complete.

    13:01-13:02

    That's what that means.

    13:02-13:12

    God's like, "Okay, everything's good, but this, there's something more that needs to happen here." And he says what it is.

    13:13-13:26

    He says, "It's not good that the man should be alone." Man was created to have relationship, sharing ideas, sharing your emotions, sharing your soul.

    13:27-13:29

    And Adam didn't have a helper.

    13:29-13:34

    He didn't have someone who was, in God's Word, a fit for Him.

    13:35-13:44

    That could also be translated, somebody like Him, somebody corresponding to Him, somebody who is, it can literally mean, worthy of Him.

    13:47-13:48

    So what's the solution?

    13:48-13:49

    Look at verses 19 and 20.

    13:50-14:06

    It says, "Now out of the ground, "the Lord God had formed every beast of the field "and every bird of the heavens, "and brought them to the man "to see what he would call them.

    14:07-14:11

    "And whatever the man called every living creature, "that was its name.

    14:14-14:28

    "The man gave names to all livestock "and to the birds of the heavens "and to every beast of the field, "but for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him." Okay, so what's up with this exercise?

    14:29-14:33

    How many of you think that God had the power and the ability to name the animals himself?

    14:34-14:38

    How many of you think that, some of you don't think God had the power or the ability to do that?

    14:42-14:44

    That was a seeing who's still with me question.

    14:46-14:47

    Most of you passed, very good.

    14:48-14:51

    Yes, God certainly had the power and the ability to do it.

    14:51-14:57

    But you see, this was more than just an exercise and slapping a label on animals.

    14:59-15:01

    This was an object lesson.

    15:04-15:12

    That Adam was supposed to see as he was labeling these animals, that none of them could be suitable helpers for him.

    15:14-15:16

    Now, I'm a dog person.

    15:16-15:25

    How many people here, fellow dog people, have a dog, love dogs, appreciate dogs, realize that's the only unconditional love you're going to get on this side of heaven.

    15:28-15:29

    Do you know why else I love dogs?

    15:29-15:30

    Do you know why I love dogs?

    15:31-15:34

    I talk about my dog from time to time.

    15:35-15:36

    You know why I love dogs?

    15:37-16:03

    Because every time I leave the house for whatever reason, whether it's come to work or go check the mail, it's almost like Aaron takes my dog and says, "Yes, Daddy left and he's dead, and you're never going to see him again." Because that would explain the reaction I get when I come home.

    16:04-16:12

    I walk in the door and every time, like I said, I could be gone for six hours, I could be gone for two minutes.

    16:12-16:19

    I walk in the door and she's like, "You're alive, you're alive!" And she's just immediately like elated.

    16:19-16:20

    And I love that.

    16:21-16:24

    because sometimes that's all I get.

    16:25-16:26

    (congregation laughing)

    16:30-16:34

    But despite all of that, she's not a suitable helper for me.

    16:34-16:37

    I can't really share life with her.

    16:38-16:41

    And you see, God wanted Adam to see that.

    16:42-16:46

    And that's why he had him go over the animals and name every one of them.

    16:46-16:48

    Could you imagine what that looked like?

    16:49-18:23

    That the animals were passing by wanted Adam to name them and I just kind of imagined what that would have been like that Adams like okay this one we're gonna call an elephant and God's like okay what about this one and Adams like we're gonna call this one a parent and God's like okay what about this one and Adams like we're gonna call this one an alligator and God's like okay what are call it a cat. By the way, like I said, God had Adam do this before Eve was created. Do you know another reason why? Because if God had Adam and Eve together name the animals, they'd still be doing it. True or false? Could you imagine how that would play out? God's like, "Okay, here's your next one." And Adam's like, "What do you want to name this one, dear?" And she's like, "Oh, I don't care, whatever you want." He's like, "No, I'd really like you to name this one." She goes, "No, I'm happy "with whatever you want." And Adam's like, "Okay, we'll call it a goose." And Eve's like, "Goose?

    18:23-18:30

    "Are we married to goose for this one?" And Adam says, "Oh no, no, no, we're not married to that.

    18:30-18:36

    "I mean, what do you wanna call it?" And she's like, "Oh, whatever you wanna call it." True or false?

    18:39-18:44

    At this point, Adam was the only one created in the image of God.

    18:44-18:45

    What does that mean?

    18:45-18:51

    That means everything, everything that separates man from every other creature in the world.

    18:53-18:55

    It boils down to this.

    18:56-18:58

    We are created in the image of God.

    18:58-18:58

    What does that mean?

    18:58-18:59

    It means a lot of things.

    18:59-19:01

    It means that we're self-conscious.

    19:02-19:05

    We have awareness of ourselves that animals don't have.

    19:05-19:06

    We have personality.

    19:07-19:08

    We are rational.

    19:08-19:09

    We are creative.

    19:09-19:10

    We appreciate beauty and art.

    19:10-19:11

    We have morality.

    19:11-19:13

    We record laws and history.

    19:14-19:21

    All of that, but first and foremost, it means that we are created to enjoy relationship.

    19:23-19:41

    And that was the purpose of this exercise, that all of these animals were brought to Adam and he saw that not only was he different than every other animal and couldn't really have a personal relationship, but he also would have seen that all of the animals had a male and female pairing.

    19:42-19:47

    everyone, there is a male and female counterpart except for him.

    19:49-19:50

    He would have seen that.

    19:50-20:03

    Like, "Oh look, those two go together, those two go together, those two go together, but there's not one of those counterparts for me." Look at verse 21.

    20:06-20:12

    It says, "So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man.

    20:13-20:22

    And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh." So God performs surgery.

    20:23-20:24

    And this is unique.

    20:24-20:27

    Nothing else in all of creation was created like this.

    20:27-20:30

    And the word for rib literally means side.

    20:30-20:33

    It refers to bone and flesh, according to verse 23.

    20:33-20:34

    We'll see here in a second.

    20:36-21:00

    "The woman was created with material for man." Verse 22 says, "And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made into a woman and brought her to the man." So God brought Eve to Adam, again making her out of the material from Adam.

    21:01-21:02

    brought her to Him.

    21:04-21:06

    And you know what Adam's response was, right?

    21:08-21:12

    He said, "Whoa, man." And it's stuck, verse 23.

    21:13-21:17

    It says, "And the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

    21:18-21:39

    She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.'" and said, "This is a woman." That comes from a Hebrew word that means "soft." I probably don't have to explain to you where Adam came up with that concept.

    21:41-21:47

    That is an appropriate word that should be used to describe a woman.

    21:48-21:49

    She's soft.

    21:52-22:00

    We get to verse 24, and this really is one of the most important verses in the entire Bible.

    22:00-22:07

    And this is in fact the most important verse in the Bible in talking about marriage.

    22:07-22:23

    It says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh." That's the most important verse about marriage.

    22:24-22:29

    Like, "Well, how can you say that?" Well, it's not my opinion, it's Jesus' opinion.

    22:30-22:32

    Jesus was asked about marriage.

    22:33-22:38

    Matthew 19, Mark 10, he immediately quoted this verse.

    22:38-22:44

    Paul, when he was writing about marriage, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 6, he quoted this verse.

    22:45-22:50

    is foundational to everything that God designed for marriage.

    22:51-22:52

    It's one statement.

    22:54-23:03

    And everything that we can talk about with marriage, and sexuality, and family, and relationships, and all of that, boils down to just this one thing.

    23:04-23:08

    So, let's look at this quickly in three parts.

    23:08-23:10

    God's designed for marriage.

    23:11-23:16

    Here it is, first of all, you have to leave for your new priority.

    23:18-23:19

    You have to leave for your new priority.

    23:20-23:32

    It says, "Therefore a man shall," look at this first phrase, "leave his father and his mother." I find that so interesting that this verse is inserted before there even was such a thing as a father and mother, right?

    23:34-23:41

    But even before kids came into the picture, God says, "Here's my plan for marriage." and it starts here. It starts with leaving.

    23:42-23:43

    Men, leaving.

    23:46-23:52

    Not saying that you never speak to your parents again, alright?

    23:52-24:00

    So don't, you know, call your parents up and say, "The pastor said I'm supposed to leave you, so this is our last conversation ever." That's not what this is saying.

    24:02-24:11

    This is not saying that married couples, that you can't live with your parents in a time of transition or an emergency situation.

    24:11-24:12

    It's not saying that at all.

    24:14-24:17

    What this is saying is there's a shift in loyalty and priority.

    24:21-24:23

    You're starting a new chapter in your life.

    24:25-24:31

    And this chapter is from living under your parents' care and your parents' authority to establishing your own home.

    24:31-24:35

    And that can only happen when you first of all leave.

    24:38-24:45

    You have to maintain a healthy biblical respect for your parents, but you can't let them negatively affect your relationship with your spouse.

    24:48-25:03

    And all I can tell you, I can tell you a plethora of stories where couples had failed at this foundational thing, where the husband is still tied to mom's apron strings, right?

    25:03-25:07

    And the wife won't make a move without consulting mama about it.

    25:07-25:19

    Look, it's great to have a healthy relationship, but when that relationship with your parents is interfering and you establishing your own home, you haven't fulfilled the first part of God's design for marriage, and that's leaving.

    25:22-25:23

    You have a new priority.

    25:23-25:25

    You're establishing your own home.

    25:27-25:28

    That means you gotta leave.

    25:29-25:33

    Secondly, number two, write this down, cleave to your wife exclusively.

    25:36-25:39

    Cleave, that's a King James word, but it rhymes with leave.

    25:42-25:50

    Well, I didn't, you know, didn't say it was an exact science, but the King James does say cleave, but it means to hold fast, right?

    25:51-25:53

    It means to be glued to your wife.

    25:55-26:01

    He says a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.

    26:04-26:07

    There is no relationship on the planet like this one.

    26:11-26:23

    If you're married, your relationship with your spouse is by far the most important relationship you have and will ever have on this planet.

    26:28-26:35

    I find it so interesting that God did not create one man and create two women.

    26:36-26:41

    And say, okay, Adam, pick which one you want first.

    26:44-26:48

    His design from the beginning was, hey, here's one man, one woman for one lifetime.

    26:49-26:50

    Nor did God create 12 women.

    26:51-26:58

    Say, okay, Adam, why don't you marry one for a few years and when you're tired of her, move on to a different one.

    26:58-27:00

    I created a dozen for you.

    27:00-27:02

    Surely out of those, try them all out.

    27:02-27:06

    Surely out of those you can find one that's suitable for you.

    27:09-27:10

    He created one man for one woman.

    27:13-27:15

    And he says, look, you need to hold fast.

    27:15-27:16

    You need to cleave.

    27:19-27:21

    This is God's design for marriage.

    27:22-27:25

    Unfortunately, too many people look at marriage as a contract.

    27:26-27:27

    You know what a contract is?

    27:27-27:36

    A contract is, I'll sign my name to this and I'll keep my end of the deal so long as you keep your end of the deal and give me what I want.

    27:36-27:37

    That's a contract, right?

    27:37-27:39

    That's what you do for your cell phone.

    27:39-27:46

    Like I'll sign a contract, meaning you're going to fulfill what you promised me for this, right?

    27:48-27:49

    Marriage isn't a contract.

    27:50-27:51

    Marriage is a covenant.

    27:53-27:54

    And that's way different.

    27:56-28:05

    A covenant says, "I'm going to be faithful to do my part, no matter what." Right?

    28:07-28:11

    Like church, we live under the new covenant of the blood of Jesus Christ.

    28:12-28:23

    And you realize church that Jesus isn't saying, "Okay, for those of you who have received me, I will be faithful to you so long as you are faithful to me." That's not how it works.

    28:23-28:26

    Jesus has promised that he's going to be faithful no matter what.

    28:29-28:31

    And somehow we've lost that when it comes to marriage.

    28:34-28:36

    We view marriage like a contract.

    28:37-28:53

    We say, "I'm just going to get a divorce because she's not doing what I think she should be doing for me." He's not, "I thought he was when I married him, so I have an out." That's not a covenant.

    28:55-29:02

    The covenant says, "I am in this." And of course, as soon as you say that, there's objections, right?

    29:02-29:06

    Somebody right now is thinking, "Oh, but Pastor Jeff, you don't know my wife.

    29:07-29:09

    You don't, Pastor Jeff, you don't know my husband.

    29:09-29:17

    If only he was more like..." I just want to remind you, look, your conduct is not based on how other people treat you.

    29:17-29:19

    Your conduct is based on the Word of God.

    29:21-29:25

    And yes, certainly, the Bible addresses these things.

    29:25-29:27

    If you're in an abusive situation, you need to let us know.

    29:28-29:30

    And we will walk you through that.

    29:30-29:34

    It is not God's intention that a woman remain in an abusive situation.

    29:35-29:35

    Alright?

    29:36-29:42

    Or if there's something going on like adultery, you need to come and see me and we will walk through that with you.

    29:42-29:43

    Okay?

    29:44-29:56

    So don't take this as, "Well, being under a covenant means that I have to be subject to whatever abuse or neglect, and I'm not allowed to say anything, we will help you.

    29:59-30:11

    But sometimes I think we go too far the other way, and we're just looking for any and every reason to just bail on the marriage.

    30:13-30:14

    That is not God's intention.

    30:15-30:20

    God's intention is you fight for it with every fiber in your being.

    30:21-30:22

    Cleave to your wife exclusively.

    30:23-30:26

    And finally, weave.

    30:27-30:28

    Weave your lives together in unity.

    30:30-30:33

    What we have here is action, action, result, right?

    30:33-30:35

    He says, "Leave," that's action.

    30:35-30:36

    He's saying, "Cleave," that's action.

    30:37-30:38

    And really, this is the result.

    30:40-30:43

    Leave father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and here's the result.

    30:43-30:52

    and they shall become one flesh." This is unity. And this isn't just a poetic concept, okay?

    30:52-31:02

    This isn't something that somebody read on the front of a Hallmark card, and like, "Hey, that's great! Two become one! Let's write that up." This is literally what the Bible says.

    31:04-31:08

    Two people in marriage turn into one person.

    31:08-31:23

    And Jesus said in Matthew 9.6, He said, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh." So when you're married to someone, you're not into a partnership, you're not into a tag team.

    31:23-31:26

    You are literally two people that turned into one person.

    31:28-31:58

    Interestingly here in Genesis 2.24, it says, "They shall become one flesh." That word for "one" is also used in Deuteronomy 6, where it says, "The Lord is one." Somehow, in the same spirit that the Lord is one, though He's revealed Himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, a husband and wife married are two people turning into one person.

    32:00-32:08

    That's why we call it "weaving." It's like two cords that are being woven together to make one stronger cord.

    32:10-32:10

    That's weaving.

    32:11-32:14

    It's knowing and being known.

    32:15-32:17

    It's loving and being loved.

    32:20-32:26

    It means that no one should ever think of one of you without thinking of the other of you too.

    32:28-32:32

    Jesus' commentary continues in Matthew 9.6.

    32:33-32:51

    He says, "But therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Jesus said, "God is in this work of joining you together in oneness." He said, "Let not man separate that." No one should get in the middle of the work that God is doing.

    32:54-32:55

    And that includes you.

    32:57-33:03

    I just want to give you three things to embrace to grow in unity.

    33:06-33:17

    Letter A, married people, write this down, "I keep no secrets." If you're married, these are three things you need to embrace to grow in your unity.

    33:17-33:31

    "I keep no secrets." Where I am going, who I am with, what I'm spending money on, Messages on my phone, I keep no secrets from my spouse.

    33:34-33:41

    Compromising in this goes against the unity that God is trying to bring about.

    33:44-33:49

    I keep no secrets, let her be. I do nothing that makes my spouse uncomfortable.

    33:51-33:58

    That means lunch with the opposite sex, or riding in a car alone with somebody from the opposite sex.

    34:01-34:03

    I strongly discourage that.

    34:05-34:13

    And men, when your wife is uncomfortable with something, do not disregard her feelings on the matter.

    34:14-34:18

    I think men have that tendency to say, "Well, she's just being irrational.

    34:18-34:21

    It's just coffee. It's just business.

    34:21-34:30

    We do this kind of thing all the time. It's part of the industry." If she's uncomfortable, respect that.

    34:31-34:35

    For the sake of your love for her and for the importance of protecting your relationship.

    34:37-34:38

    It's not worth it.

    34:40-34:40

    Respect her.

    34:42-34:44

    Do nothing that makes your spouse uncomfortable.

    34:45-34:58

    Like, even if you don't understand it, say, "Look, I love you enough to respect that." So keep no secrets, do nothing that makes your spouse uncomfortable and let her see.

    34:59-35:03

    And this is just in case we got to this point in the sermon and there's somebody here that I didn't offend yet.

    35:05-35:06

    Now this is your turn.

    35:08-35:09

    My money is our money.

    35:11-35:12

    My money is our money.

    35:12-35:15

    Now listen, I know, actually none of that's true.

    35:15-35:17

    It's all God's money, okay?

    35:18-35:21

    It's God's money, but I'm talking about this principle.

    35:24-35:28

    But some people get married and they insist on keeping the finances separate.

    35:31-35:36

    And for more reasons than I have time to tell you today, I just think that is a very unwise idea.

    35:39-35:41

    You should have the same checking account.

    35:43-35:45

    You should be spending within your means.

    35:46-35:57

    You should be deciding spending, especially on big things, you should be deciding that together. I just think it's unwise and I know couples that do this.

    35:58-36:03

    Let's say, "Look, this is my job, I make my money, this is what I bring in.

    36:04-36:16

    You have your job and this is what you bring in and let's keep that separate." And that, I got to be honest with you, that absolutely baffles me.

    36:18-36:20

    Like I'm sharing my soul with you.

    36:22-36:28

    I'm sharing my body with you, but keep your grubby myths out of my wallet.

    36:28-36:30

    Like what?

    36:31-36:33

    That's the part where we get all sensitive all of a sudden?

    36:36-36:39

    You need to say this, my money is our money.

    36:41-36:50

    And if you don't believe that, We could show you, we could talk to a good lawyer to prove that that's true, right?

    36:51-36:52

    My money is our money.

    36:54-36:58

    So look, maybe some of you right now, you're like, you know what?

    36:58-37:01

    My marriage has been a little stale.

    37:01-37:03

    I hear what you're saying, Pastor Jeff.

    37:03-37:08

    I just, I haven't really been feeling, I just haven't really been feeling it.

    37:08-37:08

    What do I need to do?

    37:08-37:09

    You need to humble yourself.

    37:10-37:11

    That's what you need to do.

    37:12-37:23

    You need to be honest before God and you need to be honest before your spouse and you need to sit down and say, "Hey, what are some things that I need to be doing right now to make you feel like number one in this relationship?

    37:25-37:40

    What are some things that I need to stop doing in order to make you feel like you're number one?" Because look, church, you are not one with your job.

    37:43-37:44

    You're not one with your job.

    37:45-37:47

    Jobs come and go, right?

    37:49-37:51

    A lot of us saw that during the pandemic.

    37:53-37:57

    And you know, no one on their deathbed ever wished for one more day of work.

    38:00-38:01

    Jobs come and go.

    38:01-38:01

    Hobbies.

    38:03-38:04

    Hobbies come and go.

    38:06-38:07

    But you're not one with your hobby.

    38:10-38:17

    Other people, you're not one with other people, not your parents, not your friends, and not even your children.

    38:20-38:21

    You're not one with the church.

    38:23-38:26

    Ministry is not an excuse to neglect your spouse.

    38:27-38:28

    You ministry together.

    38:30-38:45

    According to God, the only one that you are one with, the only one that you are uniquely connected to, and the only one that God is actively at work joining you together with is your spouse.

    38:47-38:51

    This was God's design from the beginning, and this is what it is now.

    38:52-38:56

    You gotta leave, and then you cleave, and the result is you weep.

    38:57-38:57

    Let's pray.

    38:59-39:09

    Father in heaven, we thank you for your word, especially in a day when things are constantly getting redefined.

    39:12-39:22

    And Father, the world already is beginning to see the foolishness of disregarding your Word on such clear foundational things.

    39:24-39:25

    And they will continue to.

    39:28-39:32

    But Father, you are calling us to a higher standard.

    39:34-39:37

    You are calling us to be a people who tremble before Your Word.

    39:39-39:44

    Who live in obedience even when we don't fully understand everything.

    39:47-40:01

    So Father, let the only voice that we hear and heed regarding marriage, sexuality, and gender, and all of these things, let the only voice that we hear be Yours.

    40:04-40:06

    the only voice that's eternally true.

    40:07-40:09

    We pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Genesis 2:18-25

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. Why did God have Adam name the animals (Gen 2:19-20)? What was the point of that assignment?

  3. Why is “leaving father and mother” the necessary first step in marriage? What does it mean to “leave”?

  4. What does it mean that marriage is a “covenant”? For those married - how does that determine the way we conduct ourselves as a spouse?

  5. What is the best piece of marriage advice you’ve ever heard?

Breakout
Pray for one another.

Getting Back to Marriage Commitment

Introduction:


Faithless in Marriage is Faithless to God

Review: Matthew 5:23 | 1 Timothy 3:4-5 | 1 Timothy 5:8


  1. Because you made a Covenant before God. (Mal 2:10-12)


  2. Because you are being Joined Together by God. (Mal 2:13-15a)

  3. Matthew 19:6 - So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.


  4. Because you have a Purpose for God. (Mal 2:15b-16)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint:
Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:48-00:50

    Turn in your Bibles to the book of Malachi 2.

    00:51-00:53

    It's the last book of the Old Testament.

    00:54-01:00

    While you're turning there, you know, I heard this story of this man who was looking for a job.

    01:00-01:10

    And the only job he could find, which he took because he needed the money, but the only job he could find was painting the yellow lines on the road.

    01:13-01:17

    You're like, "That doesn't sound too bad." They didn't have any machinery for him.

    01:17-01:25

    So when he showed up for work the first day, they gave him a giant bucket of yellow paint and a paintbrush.

    01:27-01:35

    And they said, "Get to work." And he said, "Well, I'm just glad to have a job and earn some money." So he went to work and he showed up to his boss the first day, at the end of the day.

    01:36-01:43

    His boss said, "How much did you get done?" The guy said, "I got about six miles painted today." The boss said, "Six miles? That's incredible!

    01:44-01:50

    "That is fantastic! We'll see you tomorrow." So the man shows up the next day at work and goes right to work.

    01:51-02:01

    He shows up at the end of the day and his boss says, "Well, how many miles did you paint today?" And the guy says, "I got four miles painted today." And the boss says, "Huh, that's still pretty good.

    02:01-02:09

    I mean, it's quite a bit less than yesterday, but that's still pretty good." Well, on the third day, the man shows up to work again at the end of the day.

    02:09-02:23

    He shows up to his boss and his boss says, "Well, how much did you get painted today?" And the man said, "I got about 500 feet painted today." And the boss says, "I'm sorry, but that's just not gonna cut it.

    02:23-02:24

    And I don't understand.

    02:24-02:34

    I don't understand how on the first day you set a record, we're three days into the job and you put out a lousy performance.

    02:34-02:42

    Why in the world is your job performance getting worse and worse and worse every day?" And the guy says, "You know what? I really don't know either.

    02:42-02:56

    I guess it's just because I keep getting further and further away from the bucket." And as a joke, that's mildly funny, but as a metaphor, I think about that often.

    02:59-03:11

    That when we feel distant from God, it's not that God moved, it's that we, by our own choices, are getting ourselves further and further away, and our walks with Him.

    03:11-03:15

    And as we turn to Malachi, we see that Israel had gotten off track again.

    03:16-03:20

    And God called this preacher Malachi to get them back on track.

    03:20-03:22

    That's what we call repentance.

    03:23-03:29

    Repentance literally is a change in your mind that results in a change in your conduct.

    03:30-03:32

    You say, "I was doing this, and God says it's wrong.

    03:32-03:34

    I need to think about it the way God does.

    03:35-03:39

    So if this is wrong, then I need to change my behavior." That's repentance.

    03:41-03:47

    God is saying to Israel through Malachi and to us through His Word today, you need to get back on track.

    03:47-03:50

    Some of us here are not on track with the Lord right now.

    03:51-03:54

    Once upon a time, you had a vibrant and exciting walk with God.

    03:54-03:55

    You saw God at work.

    03:55-03:57

    You loved praying. You loved reading God's Word.

    03:57-03:58

    You loved coming to church.

    03:59-04:04

    And now you just give it a big "meh." I'm just not really on track right now in my life.

    04:05-04:06

    It's time to get back on track.

    04:08-04:08

    How do I do that?

    04:09-04:12

    Well, last week we saw in chapter 1, you've got to get back to real worship.

    04:14-04:17

    We saw that worship is really just as easy as breathing, isn't it?

    04:17-04:26

    It's breathing in God's love and breathing out reverence for God.

    04:26-04:28

    We talked about that last week.

    04:29-04:30

    Giving God your best.

    04:31-04:33

    Not just going through the motions.

    04:34-04:38

    And you get through chapter 1 and you're like, That's a really convicting word of Scripture.

    04:38-04:42

    And we get to chapter 2 and God says, "I'm not finished." Look at chapter 2, verses 1 and 2.

    04:45-04:47

    "And now, O priest, this command is for you.

    04:48-05:01

    If you will not listen, if you will not take it to heart, to give honor to My name, says the Lord of hosts, then I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings.

    05:03-05:22

    Indeed, I have already cursed them because you do not lay it to heart." You see, it was the priest's job to bless people, and God says, "I'm about to make your job completely irrelevant, because the blessings that you're giving, I'm going to turn them into curses." Look at verse 3.

    05:24-05:42

    God says, "Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung on your faces." "The dung of your offerings and you shall be taken away with it." How many of you have heard a sermon before on Malachi 2.3?

    05:43-05:45

    Not very often, right?

    05:45-05:48

    So, honestly, this is why we do expository preaching.

    05:48-05:51

    We go through verse by verse because normally I wouldn't...

    05:52-05:55

    pardon the expression, I wouldn't touch this with a ten-foot pole.

    05:55-06:08

    But there it is in God's Word and you're like, It looks like what God's saying is, it looks like what He's saying is, He's going to spread dung on the faces of the priests.

    06:10-06:12

    That's exactly what it's saying.

    06:13-06:21

    You see, in Exodus 29:14, there was a procedure when you offered a sacrifice.

    06:21-06:31

    And part of the procedure was, when you killed the animal, you were to take the - were a dung, insert whatever word you're most comfortable with there.

    06:32-06:41

    So when you offered the sacrifice and you took the entrails out, you were to take the dung of the animals outside.

    06:43-07:00

    So understand that this wasn't just God treating Israel like a puppy that was supposed to be housebroken, but had a mess in the house, like, "I'm going to rub your nose in it." It's a picture of those Old Testament sacrifices is to say you're unclean and you're acting filthy, and you don't deserve to be in the sanctuary.

    07:00-07:05

    In fact, you deserve, like the crap, to be taken outside.

    07:08-07:09

    Right? Is that what it says?

    07:11-07:14

    Unfortunately, that's probably the only thing some people are going to remember from this sermon.

    07:16-07:17

    It's a gross thought.

    07:20-07:21

    But what is this telling us about God?

    07:23-07:25

    He is pretty fired up right now, isn't he?

    07:26-07:33

    He's like, "You're making a mockery of what is supposed to be worship." Look at verses 4-8.

    07:35-07:42

    "So shall you know that I have sent this command to you, that My covenant with Levi may stand, says the Lord of hosts.

    07:42-07:47

    My covenant with him was one of life and peace, and I gave them to him.

    07:48-07:50

    It was a covenant of fear, and he feared Me.

    07:50-07:52

    He stood in awe of My name.

    07:52-07:56

    "If true instruction was in his mouth, then no wrong was found on his lips.

    07:56-08:01

    He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many from iniquity.

    08:03-08:15

    For the lips of a priest should guard knowledge, and people should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is a messenger of the Lord of hosts." Now, when he's talking about Levi, he's not just talking about one person.

    08:15-08:17

    I think it's pretty obvious from the context.

    08:17-08:21

    He's talking about the priesthood as a whole back in the early days.

    08:21-08:23

    came from the tribe of Levi.

    08:23-08:32

    So he's sort of personifying the whole priesthood by identifying them with the man that they came from.

    08:33-08:37

    God's basically saying here, "This was the old school mentality of the priests.

    08:37-08:39

    This was the right mentality.

    08:39-08:48

    This is how they were back in the beginning." Look at verse 8, "But you have turned aside from the way.

    08:48-08:51

    You have caused many to stumble by your instruction.

    08:51-08:54

    "You have corrupted the covenant of Levi," says the Lord of hosts.

    08:56-08:57

    Pause there.

    08:59-09:00

    There's just a whole comparison here.

    09:02-09:04

    You see, God says, "Levi was reverent," verse 5.

    09:05-09:07

    "Levi walked with God," verse 6.

    09:07-09:10

    And "Levi turned people from sin," verse 6.

    09:10-09:14

    Malachi, the priests in your day are all the opposite.

    09:15-09:18

    "Instead of revering Me, they've corrupted the covenant," verse 8.

    09:18-09:22

    Instead of walking with God, they have turned aside, verse 8.

    09:23-09:31

    And instead of turning people from sin, they turn people to stumble, causing many people to stumble, again, verse 8.

    09:32-09:32

    So you see the problem.

    09:32-09:53

    God's like, "Priests, you are way, way, way, way off track." Verse 9, "And so I make you despised and abased before all the people, and as much as you do not keep My ways, but show partiality in your instruction." God says, "This is why people don't respect you, priests." God's like, "I'm causing that. Do you know why people don't respect you?

    09:53-09:57

    Do you know why people don't look up to you?" You're making a mockery of it.

    09:59-10:04

    So at this point, you're like, "Yeah, we got it. We got it. We got it." Getting back on track means getting back to real worship.

    10:04-10:05

    Anything else?

    10:05-10:06

    But here's the message today.

    10:07-10:15

    If you are married, I'm going to give you a statement that you have to take to heart.

    10:16-10:20

    This statement summarizes the entire rest of this passage.

    10:21-10:23

    The statement is this, it's on your outline.

    10:24-10:42

    "Faithless in marriage is faithless to God." If you are married, "Faithless in marriage is faithless to God." You're like, "Well, what do you mean by that?" Here's what I mean.

    10:42-10:52

    If you are married and you are being faithless in your marriage, God equates that to being faithless to Him Himself.

    10:55-10:57

    Why is it phrased this way?

    10:59-11:02

    Why use the word "faithless"? Because this is the word God uses.

    11:02-11:15

    We're going to go through this passage, and you're going to see five times in this passage, God uses this word "faithless." Now, your job is to circle the word "faithless" every time you see it.

    11:15-11:34

    Some translations say "dealt treacherously." The Hebrew word is "begot," which means "to act deceitfully" or "to betray." It carries the idea - and this is so important - this Hebrew word carries the idea of being a traitor.

    11:36-11:54

    So when we talk about being faithless, we're not talking about, "Yeah, he's just not quite the husband that he should be. I mean, he's okay, but..." Or, "She's just kind of half-committed to the marriage, and overall I think it's decent." And being faithless, God doesn't view it as a little thing.

    11:54-12:06

    God views it as, "You're a traitor." Somebody trusts you, and you stab them in the back, deceitfully and intentionally.

    12:07-12:08

    That's what the word faithless means.

    12:09-12:16

    God says you're being faithless in your marriage, and I take that personally.

    12:16-12:17

    I take that as being faithless to me.

    12:19-12:21

    You're going to see it in the passage again five times.

    12:22-12:23

    See if you can find them all, all right?

    12:24-12:26

    It's like church version of Pokemon.

    12:28-12:33

    Find somebody that's laughing and have them explain that reference to you if you don't get it.

    12:34-12:37

    So for sure, to get back on track, you're going to get vertical, for sure.

    12:39-12:51

    But, listen church, one of the clearest, most often ignored, consistent teachings in the Bible is this.

    12:52-13:07

    God says if you are off track in your horizontal relationships, that's the person-to-person relationships, if you're off track in your horizontal relationships, you are off track in your vertical relationship.

    13:08-13:18

    In other words, God says if you are serious about this, the vertical relationship, then you have to be serious about this.

    13:19-13:20

    Here's how Jesus said it.

    13:21-13:36

    Matthew 5, verse 23, Jesus said, "So if you are offering your gift at the altar," worshipping, "and there remember that your brother has something against you, Leave your gift there before the altar and go.

    13:36-13:49

    First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift." Jesus said you can be going to worship if you realize, you know what, things aren't right between Me and a friend of Mine, a family member. Things aren't right.

    13:50-13:53

    Jesus said you need to go fix that before you worship.

    13:54-13:58

    See, this horizontal stuff matters greatly to God.

    13:58-14:31

    And no horizontal relationship is more important one with your spouse. So here's the point today, you're going to see it very clearly in the text. If you're not on track, married people, listen, it'd be easy for somebody to tune out right now and say, "Well, I'm not married." You plan on getting married someday? Then you really need to listen to this. Do you know people who are married? Are you praying for a marriage right now? You need to You listen to this.

    14:32-14:37

    But especially if you are married right now, seriously tune in.

    14:38-14:43

    Because if you are not on track in your marriage, you are not on track with God.

    14:45-14:51

    To get back on track with God, you better get back on track in your marriage.

    14:53-14:54

    You see, you could be sitting here saying, "You know what?

    14:55-14:57

    To be honest with you, things are terrible at home.

    15:01-15:23

    ministry's rocking!" God is not impressed. He's not. Like, you know, my wife and I just don't get along. Haven't gotten along in years, but I'll tell you, you know, you know something that's good in my life though is I spend, I spend 80 hours a week down at the soup kitchen. God doesn't care. Why? Because if you're not You're not on track in your marriage.

    15:25-15:31

    God says you're off track in your relationship with Him.

    15:33-15:35

    Look at what Paul told Timothy.

    15:37-15:45

    1 Timothy 3 - this pertains in particular to elders, leaders in the church, but you're going to see a principle here that really applies to everyone.

    15:46-15:51

    It says, "He must manage his own household well with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.

    15:52-15:53

    But look at this.

    15:53-16:02

    "For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?" Okay, pop quiz. This is real easy. You've got two choices.

    16:03-16:05

    According to God, which one takes first priority?

    16:06-16:08

    Your work in the church or your work in the home?

    16:08-16:09

    Shout it out.

    16:10-16:11

    Home, right? Do you see that?

    16:12-16:50

    You see, you would think, "Well, he's a good leader in the church, so that means he's probably a good leader in the home." what that says? No. It says you have to have it figured out at home in order to even qualify to be able to be a leader in the church. Again 1st Timothy 5 8, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his own household..." Look at this phrase. This is as serious as the dung in the face He has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

    16:52-16:53

    Do you see that?

    16:54-17:01

    God says if you don't take care of your own house, now do you think spouse is included in this?

    17:02-17:05

    I would say especially if you're not taking care of your spouse.

    17:06-17:44

    Men, if you are not taking care of your house, not taking care of your wives, God says, "You have denied the faith." And God says, look at this phrase, "You are worse than an unbeliever." God's like, "There's the people that know Me and love Me, and there's the people that don't know Me at all, don't love Me." God's like, "And then there's you, somewhere down here." So in Malachi, getting back on track with God means getting back on track in your marriage.

    17:44-17:46

    Faithless in marriage is faithless to God.

    17:46-17:53

    And somebody right now is like, "Hey, I'm really not convinced that that's a true statement." Well, I'm going to show you why this is a true statement.

    17:54-17:55

    Three things on your outline.

    17:56-17:56

    Why is this true?

    17:56-18:00

    Number one, because you made a covenant before God.

    18:01-18:03

    Look at verses 10 through 12.

    18:05-18:07

    Remember, we're looking for... what's the word we're looking for?

    18:09-18:10

    Faithless. And what does that word mean?

    18:11-18:16

    Traitor. Traitor! Backstabber! Deceitful!

    18:17-18:19

    Okay? See if you can find it.

    18:19-18:20

    Verses 10 through 12.

    18:21-18:25

    "Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us?

    18:25-18:31

    Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?

    18:32-18:34

    Judah has been faithless.

    18:36-18:39

    An abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem.

    18:40-18:49

    For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.

    18:50-18:59

    May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendants of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts.

    19:00-19:01

    See the first problem here.

    19:03-19:10

    The reason faithless in marriage is faithless to God, number one, is because you made a covenant before God in your marriage.

    19:11-19:13

    Here's the issue here, you're going to see it in the rest of the passage.

    19:14-19:17

    But this is the particular issue that we're addressing.

    19:17-19:28

    Israel was guilty of breaking the covenant with their wives, divorcing them, and marrying these pagan foreign women.

    19:28-19:30

    Do you see why this is a doubly bad thing?

    19:32-19:54

    See, Israel returning from exile, and these men who were married, these Jewish men were checking out these gorgeous, exotic foreign women, Thinking I'd like to have her Yeah, yeah, but what about your what about your wife?

    19:56-21:08

    Like all the thing with her stale we just haven't been getting along since the exile. I mean, it's just been a Just haven't been getting along But dude this woman that you're checking out she's a pagan she worships like statues So she's hot and they were divorcing their wives And they were marrying pagan women Remember last week. I told you that Malachi was a contemporary of Nehemiah and I have to share this Nehemiah 1325 is one of my favorite verses in the Old Testament Because Nehemiah was dealing with the same thing Jewish men abandoning their wives marrying these foreign Pagan women be my 1325. We're gonna turn there, but I want you to write that down. Nehemiah says that he now imagine as he Confronted them cursed them beat them pulled out their hair and made them take an oath You're like why is that your favorite because it just makes me wish that I was an Old Testament preacher I Do I wish that I lived in Old Testament times. Could you imagine?

    21:09-21:31

    Somebody shows up to church, and we're like, "Joe, heard you haven't been faithful to your wife this week." And then I'd be like, "Darren, why don't you take Joe here out to the parking lot and show him how we feel about that?" And then Joe comes in missing a few teeth, bruised, his clothes all torn up.

    21:31-21:39

    He comes limping back in like, "What happened to you?" He's like, "You were loved." But that's how serious this was.

    21:40-21:49

    Nehemiah was like, "I had to stomp a mud hole in some people." Now understand, when we talk about these marriages, we're not talking about interracial marriage, okay?

    21:49-21:51

    There's only one race. There's a human race.

    21:52-21:52

    That's not the issue.

    21:53-22:01

    The issue is interfaith marriage, which 2 Corinthians 6, the Apostle Paul gives a huge warning.

    22:03-22:07

    You should not consider marriage with someone who doesn't love Jesus Christ.

    22:09-22:11

    A believer should not marry an unbeliever.

    22:12-22:18

    This passage is not condemning everyone who is divorced.

    22:19-22:25

    The Bible certainly makes allowances for that in special circumstances, but it's never commanded.

    22:27-22:29

    But here's what we are condemning.

    22:30-22:45

    People who are abandoning their promise, "in the name of love," or more accurately, I put down in my notes, "in the name of lust." Does that still happen today?

    22:47-22:49

    I mean, I don't know. You tell me, does that still happen today?

    22:49-23:01

    The people abandon their marriage because somebody else catches their eye, and now all of a sudden, their mindset is, "I'm going to trade in the old model for the new model," which is disgusting mentality.

    23:02-23:03

    Does that happen today?

    23:04-23:12

    See, this is what Malachi was condemning, and that's what Nehemiah was beating people up over, and this is what we're condemning today, if you're married.

    23:14-23:20

    Let me ask you this, whatever happened to just, I don't know, keeping your word?

    23:22-23:25

    Sounds so foreign, doesn't it? Keeping your word.

    23:26-23:27

    I mean, we kind of grew up with that, didn't we, Darren?

    23:27-23:32

    But the next generation it seems like you need to keep your word like what's that supposed to be?

    23:34-24:02

    We live in a day It just it just sounds so weird it's it's so foreign to our way of thinking You know the commercial on TV that drives me insane You know the commercial that drives me So I'm gonna tell you the commercial absolutely drives me insane the commercials that are directed at people who are buried in credit card debt Have you seen these commercials where they say call us and get those nasty credit card companies off your back?

    24:02-24:40

    How many people have seen those commercials just call us and we'll get those nasty credit card companies off of your back And I was thinking about that, you know Those credit card companies weren't so nasty When they allowed me to obtain something that I didn't have the money to pay for they weren't so nasty then How many people here have used a credit card before When you use a credit card, and I've used one Alex, I'm sorry but when you use a credit card your that piece of paper comes out and and Then you sign the you signed a little slip right you know what that thing is that you're signing What's that thing that you're signing?

    24:41-25:42

    Basically what you're saying is I promise to pay this back You're saying I'm agreeing to the terms of the cardholder But it's just basically saying yeah I don't have the money for this now But the credit company is gonna cover me and I promise I promise I'm gonna pay this back I'm good for it Now all of a sudden when I've buried myself in debt Now the credit card company they're the nasty people And we need somebody to help get those nasty credit card companies off of our back because we made the irresponsible choices You see when we sign that piece of paper at Kmart or whatever fine store you shop at. When we signed that paper, we meant it when we signed it, didn't we? Now down the road, we didn't even remember what it was that we bought. We're sort of like, "I really don't want to keep my word anymore.

    25:44-25:50

    I need somebody to help get me out from under these nasty credit card companies." And yeah, that's the same thing that happens in our marriages.

    25:51-25:54

    Honestly, we meant it at the time.

    25:55-25:59

    In sickness and in health, till death do we part, forsaking all others.

    26:00-26:10

    We meant it at the time, and believe me, I have done so many weddings and I've seen, you know, the bride and the groom and the look in their eyes when they're like, "I'm promising myself to you forever." Yeah, they mean it.

    26:10-26:11

    They mean it.

    26:13-26:18

    Like the credit card, it's like, "Well, I meant it at the time, but I really don't want to keep my word anymore." And do you know what God calls that?

    26:20-26:21

    He calls that being faithless.

    26:22-26:23

    He calls that being a traitor.

    26:25-26:36

    And if you're sitting here today and you're like, "You know, I really do, deep down, I really do want to be faithful to God." Well, do you think that you can be faithful to God without being faithful to the covenant that you made before God?

    26:38-26:41

    Faithless in marriage is what?

    26:43-26:44

    Faithless to God.

    26:45-26:49

    Number two, because you are being joined together by God.

    26:50-26:52

    Look at verses 13-15.

    26:53-27:04

    And this second thing you do, you cover the Lord's altar with tears and weeping and groaning because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.

    27:05-27:13

    But you say, "Why does He not?" Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless.

    27:16-27:25

    Though she is your companion and your wife by covenant, did He not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in their union?

    27:27-27:30

    Number two, because you are being joined together by God.

    27:31-27:35

    You see that, the tears, "Why doesn't God accept my worship?" What's the answer?

    27:36-27:38

    Because you've been faithless to your wife, that's why.

    27:39-27:44

    That gets back to the whole, let's not talk about the vertical thing if you have no interest in the horizontal thing.

    27:44-27:45

    That's what's going on here.

    27:46-27:48

    Marriage is not a business partnership.

    27:49-27:54

    Marriage is not a buddy to hang out with or someone to keep you awake on road trips.

    27:55-27:56

    Look at verse 15 again.

    27:58-28:01

    Did he not make them one?

    28:03-28:07

    The husband and wife are two becoming one.

    28:08-28:09

    They belong to each other.

    28:09-28:13

    And that's why it says, with a portion of the spirit in their union.

    28:14-28:17

    It means they not only belong to each other, they belong to God.

    28:18-28:22

    The verse means, you know, the marriage is more than paperwork.

    28:24-28:27

    It's more than just an agreement between two people.

    28:29-28:31

    Marriage is a God thing.

    28:31-28:33

    It's a spiritual thing.

    28:33-28:40

    It's literally two people becoming one person, which is a reality and a process at the same time.

    28:41-28:45

    It's a reality and a process at the same time, this two becoming one.

    28:45-28:48

    Like, well, how can something be a reality and a process?

    28:48-28:49

    Think about it this way.

    28:52-28:58

    If I decided tomorrow that I was going to sign up for the army, enlist, we're pretending, right?

    28:58-29:05

    If I enlisted for the army, when I signed my enlistment papers, You could say, "Well, you're a soldier now, right?

    29:06-29:14

    You're GI, you're a soldier." I'm like, "Great." They're like, "Now you have to go to bootcamp." And I'm like, "Why do I have to go to bootcamp?

    29:14-29:15

    You just said I was a soldier.

    29:16-29:17

    So why do I go to bootcamp?

    29:18-29:19

    Because they're going to make me a soldier, right?

    29:20-29:26

    So do you see how I am something and they're making me something at the same time?" It's like that with holiness.

    29:26-29:29

    In Jesus Christ, God pronounces you holy.

    29:30-29:33

    So what is the whole process of sanctification in the Christian life?

    29:34-29:36

    It's God making you what he's already pronounced you to be.

    29:37-29:38

    You see, marriage is like that too.

    29:38-29:39

    God says you're one.

    29:39-29:40

    You two are now one.

    29:41-29:46

    And your married lives together is the process of the two becoming one.

    29:48-30:04

    That's why Genesis 2.24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother "and shall cleave or hold fast to his wife, "and the two shall become one flesh." And this reality is found in no other relationship you have on the earth.

    30:04-30:06

    That's why this is so important to God.

    30:07-30:11

    You are not one with your parents.

    30:12-30:14

    You are not one with your friends.

    30:14-30:17

    You are not one with your kids and you're not one with your dog.

    30:18-30:28

    The only relationship that the Bible says results in two people becoming one person is the relationship with your spouse.

    30:30-30:36

    That's why Jesus said in Matthew 19, 6, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

    30:37-30:42

    But therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Your marriage is a God project.

    30:44-30:52

    So if you're sitting here today and you're saying, "God, I just want you to do something in my life." The question is, are you being faithless towards your spouse?

    30:54-31:00

    Then God's response is, "You know, I am trying to do something in your life right now, and you're working against the very thing that I'm trying to do.

    31:03-31:06

    Because faithless in marriage is faithless to God.

    31:07-31:07

    You made a covenant.

    31:09-31:15

    You're being joined together by God, and finally for today, because you have a purpose for God.

    31:16-31:19

    Look at the rest of verse 15 and then 16.

    31:21-31:22

    And what was the one God seeking?

    31:25-31:26

    Godly offspring.

    31:28-31:32

    So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.

    31:33-31:43

    For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts.

    31:44-31:55

    So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless." You made a covenant before God, you're being joined together by God, and you have a purpose for God.

    31:55-31:59

    God does want to do something in your marriage, but He also wants to do something through your marriage.

    32:00-32:07

    And as important as marriage itself is, do you realize God's design is about much more than even your marriage?

    32:09-32:10

    What's God after?

    32:11-32:13

    Verse 15, what's God after? Shout it out.

    32:15-32:17

    Godly offspring, right?

    32:18-32:23

    Now we're not saying that a married couple without kids is on a lesser plan.

    32:23-32:24

    We're not saying that.

    32:25-32:27

    I'm like, "Well, then what are you saying?" Here's what I'm saying.

    32:28-32:30

    Let's pretend for a second that you're God.

    32:31-32:31

    Okay?

    32:32-32:34

    We're just pretending for a second that you're God.

    32:35-32:44

    And you're looking down on this earth you created, and the people that you created, and you want to make sure that every generation knows about your love.

    32:44-32:56

    You want to make sure that every generation knows that you are a merciful and gracious God, that while you hate sin, you are quick to pardon, and you love to restore lost and broken people.

    32:56-32:58

    You want every generation to know that.

    32:59-33:00

    How would you make that happen?

    33:02-33:13

    Every child that's born, you would want that child to be in a stable home with loving parents, parents who are committed to God and who are committed to each other.

    33:13-33:14

    Does that sound like a good plan?

    33:15-33:16

    That would work, wouldn't it?

    33:17-33:18

    That's what God's after.

    33:19-33:22

    We pretended that we were God for a second, and now let's pretend you're the devil.

    33:23-33:27

    If you were the devil, how would you disrupt God's plan?

    33:28-33:45

    Divorce, affairs, abandonment, bitterness in the home towards one another, and have those kids, have these kids grow up confused and hurt and angry.

    33:47-33:48

    You think that would disrupt the plan?

    33:51-33:56

    So husbands, husbands here today, I'm speaking specifically to fathers.

    33:57-34:03

    The best thing that you can do for your children is to love your wife.

    34:05-34:06

    That's the best thing you can do for your kids.

    34:07-34:11

    Wives, moms, do you wanna be a good mom?

    34:12-34:13

    Do you wanna be a good mom?

    34:13-34:18

    You know the best thing you can do for your kids, the best way you can be a mother is to love your husband.

    34:20-34:22

    You saw it twice, verses 15 and 16.

    34:23-34:24

    God says it twice.

    34:24-34:25

    He says, "Guard yourself.

    34:26-34:29

    Do not be faithless." Guard yourself.

    34:31-34:35

    Stop thinking negatively towards your spouse.

    34:36-34:39

    Stop speaking negatively towards your spouse.

    34:40-34:43

    Stop considering how to get out of the marriage.

    34:43-34:45

    Stop entertaining an affair.

    34:47-34:48

    Love is a choice.

    34:50-35:01

    And you need to make the choice to love, because faithless in marriage is faithless to God.

    35:02-35:03

    You made a covenant.

    35:05-35:09

    God's joining you together, and God wants to do some things through you.

    35:10-35:11

    Let's pray.

    35:12-35:28

    Father in heaven, I'm sure there are people here that are looking to get back on track walk with you but their marriages are miserable. They haven't been on the same page, they've been fighting, they've been distant, they've been avoiding each other.

    35:29-36:14

    God I pray, I pray that today is the day of repentance for some homes where this has been happening. I'm sure there are some men in this room right now that are entertaining flirtatious relationships that have no business doing. They find themselves just like these Israelites abandoning their commitment that they made abandoning the the oneness that you are trying to form abandoning the purpose of raising godly children because someone else has caught their attention I pray today's the day of repentance God God we we live in a day that I guess I'd be arrested if I did what Nehemiah did.

    36:16-36:39

    But I pray that Your Holy Spirit would grab every heart in this room, every married couple, everyone in here that's about to get married, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would grab them and shake them to this reality, that if they're being faithless in their marriage, You consider that being faithless towards you yourself.

    36:41-36:43

    So God, I pray that there's much restoration that happens.

    36:45-36:58

    I pray that tomorrow is a brand new day, because some hard conversations happen today, some apologies and seeking forgiveness and much prayer happens today.

    37:00-37:04

    Get us back to a marriage commitment that glorifies Your name.

    37:06-37:11

    We pray these things, Father, in the glorious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Malachi 2:1-16

  1.  What were the issues God was calling out the priests on in Malachi 2:8? What does this say about people in (any) ministry today?

  2. Why is it you need to be faithful in your horizontal relationships in order to be faithful in your vertical relationship with God? See Matthew 5:23 & 1 John 4:20.

  3. What are some specific modern day examples of people not keeping their word? Why do you think people don’t keep their word today?

  4. How is oneness in marriage a reality and a process at the same time (Mal 2:15)? See Genesis 2:24.

  5. What are some ways, if you are married, you can "guard yourself" (Mal 2:15-16)? Be specific.

Breakout Questions:
Married people: How are you making your marriage a priority?