Introduction:
Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
How Can I Disciple My Kids? (Deuteronomy 6:1-9)
- By prioritizing God above Anything and Everyone . (Duet 6:1-6)
Matthew 10:37 - "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
1 Peter 1:8 - Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.
- By teaching the Word of God Every Single Day . (Duet 6:1-7)
Types of Teaching:
- Planned Devotional times.
- Off the Cuff chats.
- Milestone Celebrations .
- By having God's expectations be The House Rules . (Duet 6:8-9)
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:38-00:50
All right, so you can turn your Bibles to Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 1 through 9 and as you're turning there I want to ask you a quick question. Have you ever taken something on in your life that you felt totally unequipped to handle?
00:51-01:18
Okay, come on. Every single hand should be up in the air right now. We've all felt that way many times maybe you felt unequipped to handle a difficult task at work a More challenging household project than you expected or maybe a favor that someone asked of you I know I can think of dozens, if not hundreds, of personal examples from my own life, but as I prepared this message over this past week, one sprang to the front of my mind.
01:19-01:27
Several years ago, we were celebrating a holiday, I can't remember which one, at my brother-in-law Nick's parents' house, which sits on a massive property in Freedom.
01:28-01:33
And at some point during the day, my brother-in-law Nick and his brother put on a mini bike and started riding it around.
01:34-01:35
Does anyone know what a mini bike is?
01:35-01:36
Anyone ever ridden one before?
01:36-01:39
Here's a picture of once in case you don't know what it is.
01:39-01:42
Basically, I guess like a mixture between a moped and a dirt bike.
01:43-01:45
And so we were having fun, watched them zoom around the front yard.
01:45-01:56
And at some point they come up to me and said, "Taylor, do you want to try it?" Now, if you know me at all, if you know me in the slightest, how should I respond to that question?
01:57-01:58
No, thank you.
01:58-02:02
I'm still Taylor Brown the last time I checked and this won't go well for me.
02:03-02:08
My dad will happily tell you after service It took me way longer than it should have to learn how to ride a regular bike.
02:09-02:11
This wasn't the best of ideas for me.
02:12-02:14
But my male ego started bubbling to the surface, right?
02:15-02:17
All you guys know exactly what I'm talking about.
02:17-02:19
I wanted to impress the two guys in front of me.
02:19-02:21
And my wife was right there next to me.
02:21-02:27
I didn't want to look weak in front of her, so I said, "Sure, why not?" My first mistake is pointing the mini-mic towards the house.
02:28-02:29
Not a great start, by the way.
02:30-02:35
And I get on, and I pull back on the throttle, and I zoom away faster than I expected.
02:35-02:39
The house is getting bigger and bigger and closer and closer.
02:39-02:44
At this point, I can either crash into the house or crash into all the cars in the driveway.
02:44-02:46
Not exactly the best of choices, right?
02:47-02:50
And so I try to avoid the house and I smash into their mulch bed.
02:50-02:52
Well, actually it was filled with rocks.
02:52-02:53
It's more like a stone bed.
02:54-02:55
I hit the rocks.
02:55-02:56
I'm launched off the bike.
02:56-03:00
I land on my back and somehow I didn't get hurt.
03:01-03:02
Somehow I had no scratches.
03:02-03:03
I had no bruises.
03:03-03:09
I didn't even damage the khakis I was wearing, which is great, 'cause I'm really cheap and I hate buying new clothes.
03:09-03:25
And so Kate and my brother-in-law run up, like, "You okay, you okay?" And the first thing out of Kate's mouth was, "I thought you died!" Not exactly my most honorable moment as a husband and a man in general.
03:26-03:32
You know, I was thinking this past week that parenthood feels a lot like that ride on the mini bike that day.
03:33-03:41
As moms and dads, we are thrown onto this fast-moving vehicle the second our kids are born, and we often feel unable to steer in the right direction.
03:41-03:43
We feel totally out of control.
03:44-03:49
On the mini-bike of parenthood, it feels like you can crash at any moment.
03:50-03:59
God has entrusted us with these precious human lives, and we so often feel unequipped to do the job that God has called us to do.
04:00-04:01
But that's not true.
04:02-04:12
The Lord has equipped us with his spirit, his word, and his people to steer us in the right direction, and he has pointed out the potholes of parenting that we are to avoid.
04:13-04:29
The Bible may not address every single issue and problem that you will face, but the Lord uses his word to mold you and shape you into a godly parent who approaches every single road bump with wisdom and humility.
04:30-04:38
In Ephesians 6, 4, the apostle Paul singles out fathers and gives them a command, but I think his words also have great value for mothers as well.
04:38-04:50
He says this, "Fathers, do not provoke your children "to anger, but bring them up in the discipline "and instruction of the Lord." Discipline and instruction.
04:50-04:56
These are the primary duties of all Christian parents, but dads especially, as the head of the household.
04:57-05:00
We're in the middle of a new sermon series called personal family business.
05:01-05:05
Over the past two weeks, Pastor Jeff and Rich Sprunk have taught us about marriage.
05:05-05:12
And over the next two weeks, Dan Thompson and I will talk about essential parenting principles that we find in God's word.
05:12-05:15
Next week, Dan will focus on the importance of discipline.
05:16-05:21
And this week, I'm gonna focus on the importance of instruction and discipling.
05:22-05:28
At its core, discipleship is coming alongside someone else and helping them to follow Jesus.
05:29-05:38
So discipling your kids is the continual process of pointing them to the gospel of Christ and showing them what it looks like to follow in his footsteps.
05:38-05:42
Not just telling them, but showing them what this looks like.
05:43-05:45
I know that my kids are still very young.
05:45-05:49
I'm not a parenting veteran like many of you are, but I was a youth pastor for almost eight years.
05:49-05:55
And I see, I saw a lot of what did and didn't work in the discipling department.
05:56-06:03
I learned from my own successes and mistakes as a youth pastor, and I also learned from the successes and mistakes of the parents I worked alongside.
06:05-06:09
You know, some of you are in the thick of it right now with young kids and teenagers.
06:10-06:16
Some of you are empty nesters, but as you know, parenting never ends, discipling your kids never ends.
06:16-06:19
The bigger they get, the bigger their problems become.
06:20-06:24
And you may have grandchildren that God's calling you to pour into, God's calling you to love as well.
06:24-06:29
And you can come alongside your kids and helping them raise their kids.
06:29-06:32
And some of you don't have any kids, but you may someday.
06:32-06:35
And so it's good to take notes and be ready for the future.
06:36-06:36
We're a church family.
06:37-06:42
So this message is for anyone and everyone, no matter your age or position in life.
06:43-06:50
So we're gonna dig in the Deuteronomy chapter six, verses one through nine, so we can find the answers to this really important question.
06:50-06:52
How can I disciple my kids?
06:53-06:55
How can I disciple my kids?
06:55-07:00
Number one, by prioritizing God above anything and everyone.
07:02-07:05
By prioritizing God above anything and everyone.
07:10-07:22
So at this point in Deuteronomy, God's people are wandering around in the wilderness because of their disobedience and unwillingness to take over the promised land that God had given to his people.
07:23-07:31
Some were courageous and willing to do what God had called them to do, but the vast majority were terrified and they let their fear take over.
07:31-07:37
And because of this horrible choice, God sentences people to wilderness wandering for 40 years.
07:38-07:42
They're basically circling the runway for decades.
07:43-07:53
Moses himself is also forbidden from entering the promised land, but he still leads the people and he reminds them of who God has called them to be and what he has called them to do.
07:54-07:59
And starting in chapter five of Deuteronomy, Moses sits the people of Israel down for a family chat.
08:00-08:07
And he covers really important topics like the importance of the 10 commandments and the covenant that God had made with his people.
08:08-08:12
Let's read what Moses has to say in the first three verses of chapter six.
08:12-08:23
He writes this, "Now this is the commandment, "the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God "commanded me to teach you that you may do them "in the land to which you are going over to possess it.
08:23-08:35
"That you may fear the Lord your God, "and your son, and your son's son, "by keeping all his statutes and commandments, "which I command you all the days of your life, "that your days may be long.
08:36-08:56
"Hear therefore, Israel, and be careful to do them, "that it may go well with you, "and that you may multiply greatly, "as the Lord, the God of your fathers, "has promised you, and the land flowing "with milk and honey." So Moses tells the people to keep the Lord's commands and pass down the truth to their children and their children's children.
08:57-09:08
Moses doesn't want the people to just be focused on themselves, but to think of their kids, to think of the future generations of their families and the legacies that they will leave behind.
09:09-09:14
And in verses four through six, He lays out the most important and greatest commandment.
09:14-09:18
He says this, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, "the Lord is one.
09:18-09:34
"You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, "with all of your soul, and with all your might, "and these words I command you today shall be "on your heart." He's saying there's only one God, and he is worthy of every single thing that you have.
09:34-09:37
He is worthy of your energy, your passion, and devotion.
09:37-09:41
Love Him above anything and everyone.
09:43-09:44
That's so simple, isn't it?
09:45-09:47
But it's so hard to live out.
09:48-09:59
God calls us to love our spouses, to love our kids, to love our friends, but our love for these people should pale in comparison when we're talking about our love for Him.
10:00-10:05
You know, one of the most challenging verses in all the Bible for me as a father is Matthew 10, 37.
10:06-10:11
Jesus says this, "Whoever loves father or mother "more than me is not worthy of me.
10:12-10:18
"And whoever loves son or daughter more than me "is not worthy of me." Is that hard for anybody else besides me?
10:20-10:27
I've been a dad for a little over three years now, and I can wholeheartedly say that there's not much I can't imagine that I wouldn't do for my kids.
10:29-10:37
But that love I have for Sam and Emmy should be multiplied times a million I'm talking about my love for Jesus Christ.
10:38-10:43
There never has been or will ever be anyone more important and significant than him.
10:44-10:51
Who could possibly be more significant than the creator of the universe and the savior of sinners?
10:52-10:59
So we know in our minds that we're to love God more than anything and everyone, but why is that so hard to live out?
10:59-11:02
Why is it so hard to love Jesus in this way?
11:03-11:04
There's a couple reasons.
11:05-11:09
First and foremost, we've never physically seen him with our own two eyes.
11:10-11:14
He doesn't speak to us in the same way that other people speak to us.
11:15-11:22
I can't think of another person in my life that I truly love and cherish that I haven't at least met face to face.
11:23-11:30
Whereas you can see your kids, you can see your spouse, you can touch them, you can be in the same room with them and sense their presence.
11:33-11:41
It can be difficult to have a personal relationship with Christ, 'cause we can't see him, we can't touch him right now.
11:42-11:45
It's unlike any other relationship that we have in this life.
11:46-11:49
It takes the most energy, but it's by far the most rewarding.
11:51-11:57
The apostle Peter describes how we should feel about Jesus despite our abnormal relationship with him.
11:58-12:00
He says this, "Though you have not now seen him, "you love him.
12:01-12:19
"Though you do not now see him, you believe in him "and rejoice with a joy that is inexpressible "and filled with glory." You know, loving our family and friends more than Jesus doesn't just dishonor him, it hurts us and it hurts our loved ones as well.
12:20-12:25
If I love my wife more than Jesus, then I look to her as God in my life.
12:26-12:29
I look to her to give you what only God can provide.
12:30-12:38
and my wife is an imperfect person just like me, and she can't handle all the weight of my longings and expectations as a human being.
12:39-12:41
I'm sorry, but Tom Cruise was wrong and Jerry Maguire.
12:42-12:43
Kate cannot complete me.
12:44-12:47
Only Jesus Christ can complete me.
12:48-12:51
Only Jesus Christ can fill that gaping hole in my heart.
12:52-12:53
And it's the same with your kids.
12:54-13:00
If you love your kids more than Jesus, that's gonna negatively affect your relationship with them.
13:00-13:04
And that's gonna place an unbearable burden upon them.
13:05-13:10
So many parents center their entire reason for existence in living around their kids.
13:10-13:12
And hey, it's so easy to do, right?
13:12-13:15
Our kids are so needy, they need so much for us.
13:15-13:21
It's so easiest to have tunnel vision and just focus on them to the detriment of the Lord.
13:22-13:25
And they become an idol in our lives.
13:25-13:29
and the idolatry of children is all around us in our society.
13:31-13:40
So many parents put a lot of pressure upon their kids to perform and succeed at school, at sports, and other extracurricular activities.
13:41-13:48
As a former youth pastor, I can sadly report that depression rates and suicide rates are skyrocketing among young people.
13:49-13:58
There are a variety of reasons for this, such as technology, social media, the lies of our culture, gender identity confusion.
13:58-14:00
I could do a whole sermon series on this.
14:01-14:09
But a big contributing factor, especially in the area that we live in, the area that we find ourselves in, is the pressure that teens feel to perform.
14:10-14:13
I keep hearing so much about how teens today are so lazy, they don't work hard.
14:14-14:18
That hasn't been my experience as much, at least with the teens that I worked with over the years.
14:20-14:30
Several years ago, I was teaching a VBS class at my former church, and I had kids from preschool through fifth grade, and one of my lessons was about worry and fear.
14:31-14:33
And I asked the kids, what are you worried about?
14:33-14:35
What are you afraid of?
14:36-14:37
What kind of answers would you expect?
14:38-14:40
Shout out some, what would you expect?
14:42-14:51
I expected things like spiders, monsters under the bed, maybe being left alone in a parking lot or at a store somewhere and losing your mom or dad.
14:52-14:55
I didn't get one answer like that, not one.
14:56-14:59
Instead I got answers like, I'm worried about having a high paying job someday.
15:00-15:03
I'm worried about getting into a good college and having straight A's.
15:03-15:07
I was like, you're five years old, why are you worrying about this right now?
15:07-15:15
To a kid, dozens and dozens throughout the day, they were worried about things I never even thought about when I was their age.
15:17-15:18
And this makes sense when you think about it.
15:19-15:22
Sports are getting more competitive every year and becoming year-long commitments.
15:24-15:27
Back when I first started as a youth pastor, Sunday was still a pretty free day.
15:28-15:30
Now it's a massive day for sports.
15:30-15:35
It's a week-long thing that kids have to do, week in and week out.
15:36-15:41
Parents can jump online and look at their kids' grades at any second that they want to.
15:42-15:47
Whereas my parents had to wait for a physical report card to be mailed to them multiple times a year.
15:47-15:49
You go, "Oh, I guess Taylor's doing okay." They had no idea.
15:50-15:54
And back when I was in high school, the height of what you could achieve was a 4.0.
15:54-15:57
Apparently now you can get like a 4.2 or a 4.3.
15:57-15:59
It's like, what's going on here?
16:00-16:01
Now, I don't want to confuse you here.
16:01-16:06
I'm not saying that we shouldn't push our kids to succeed and work hard.
16:07-16:08
That's part of discipling, right?
16:09-16:12
It's training our kids to work under the Lord and to do their best.
16:14-16:21
But there are so many parents living out their dreams, living out their fantasies through their kids, and they're expecting way more than what is healthy.
16:22-16:27
In the Wexford-Cranberry area, the downsides of a child-centric home are very apparent.
16:29-16:36
And we all need to check our priorities and rearrange them to make sure that we have a Jesus-centric home.
16:36-16:41
God comes first, our marriage comes second, and our children come third.
16:42-16:47
Your love and devotion for the Lord should be so crystal clear to your kids.
16:48-16:52
It should be obvious to them that mom and dad truly believe in Jesus.
16:52-16:54
This changes how they live.
16:54-16:55
They are sold out for the gospel.
16:56-17:00
And more than anything, they want to honor and glorify the Lord.
17:01-17:10
How can you expect your child to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength if you do not, if you do not model this?
17:11-17:15
As Pastor Jeff taught us a few months ago, you cannot lead someone to where you are not.
17:17-17:25
Pastor Jeff and Rich did a fantastic job talking about the importance of marriage and how we are called to be husbands and wives.
17:25-17:30
I wanna kind of recover some of that ground a little bit and how it relates to discipling our kids.
17:32-17:35
Your husband or wife needs to come before your kids.
17:37-17:37
Let me say that again.
17:38-17:41
Your husband or wife needs to come before your kids.
17:42-17:48
You only enter into two covenant relationships, and that's with God and your spouse.
17:49-17:53
So those relationships need to be the focus at all times.
17:54-18:01
As Rich said last week, nothing will make your kids feel more secure than knowing that mom and dad's marriage is secure.
18:02-18:10
Over the years, I've seen so many mature and godly teens fall apart because their home life is a wreck.
18:12-18:22
Their home life is in shambles, and seeing their progress, and seeing them jump off the path that God's called them to because their parents' marriage is disintegrating in front of them.
18:23-18:25
Their dad is verbally abusive.
18:28-18:29
It's traumatic.
18:31-18:31
It's so saddening.
18:34-18:38
This is why it's so important to honor your spouse in front of your kids.
18:39-18:40
Talk up your wife when she's not around.
18:41-18:43
When your husband's not in the room, build him up.
18:43-18:48
Never put them down in front of your kids or whenever your spouse is out of the room.
18:49-18:53
Never try to get your kids on your side in an argument.
18:53-18:57
That's destructive, that's harmful for everyone involved.
18:58-19:05
You will point your kids to Christ in a powerful way by loving and serving your spouse.
19:06-19:12
Remember, in the Christian home, God comes first, your marriage comes second, and your children come third.
19:13-19:17
If you do that, you will honor each of those categories.
19:18-19:23
You will honor the Lord, you will bless your spouse, and you will truly bless your kids.
19:24-19:26
All right, secondly, how can I disciple my kids?
19:27-19:29
By teaching the word of God every single day.
19:31-19:35
By teaching the word of God every single day.
19:37-19:44
So Moses gives the Israelites a word on when and where they should teach the commands of God to their children in verse seven.
19:44-20:01
He writes this, "You shall teach them diligently the commands of God to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise." So when and where should you instruct your kids about the Lord?
20:02-20:03
Anytime and anywhere.
20:04-20:06
Inside of your house and outside of your house.
20:07-20:09
When they go to bed and when they wake up in the morning.
20:10-20:13
When you're driving them to school from their other extracurricular activities.
20:13-20:17
This is an ongoing conversation that you need to pick up throughout the day.
20:18-20:25
As Christian parents, the Lord has called us to be the primary disciples of our kids.
20:25-20:30
You are the biggest example and influence in their life.
20:32-20:35
And as much as we'd like to, we can't change our kids' hearts.
20:36-20:38
We can't make them love the Lord.
20:38-20:39
And that's not our job.
20:40-20:47
It's our job to faithfully teach our kids about Jesus, expose them to the truth, and leave the results up to God.
20:49-20:57
But I've talked to so many parents throughout the years who feel so unequipped to handle this task, so they just don't do it.
20:58-20:59
They don't pray with their kids very much.
20:59-21:03
They never open the word together as a family.
21:03-21:09
The fear of failure causes them to do nothing, is actually the worst kind of failure.
21:11-21:15
Your kids don't need you to be a seminary trained theologian or pastor.
21:16-21:20
All you need is an open Bible and a willing heart.
21:21-21:21
That's it.
21:21-21:25
Pass on what you do know to your kids and be faithful.
21:27-21:28
Now I know what some of you are thinking.
21:28-21:30
Taylor, I'm sold, I agree with you, I need to do this.
21:31-21:33
But how do I make this happen?
21:33-21:35
How do I teach my kids?
21:36-21:41
And we'll talk about three different types of teaching that you can engage in on a weekly basis.
21:41-21:44
Letter A, planned devotional times.
21:45-21:47
Planned devotional times.
21:50-21:56
First and foremost, you have to make sure that you're in prayer, that you're in the word for yourself.
21:56-22:00
You cannot pour into your kids if you're not allowing the Lord to pour into you.
22:01-22:03
You cannot pour out of an empty cup.
22:04-22:10
Pray with your kids every single day, whether they're seven months old or 17 years old.
22:10-22:14
Model what a consistent and heartfelt prayer life looks like.
22:15-22:23
And if you don't already, I want to encourage you to have times throughout the week where you come together as a family to pray together and open up the word of God.
22:24-22:33
Maybe you study a book of the Bible together, you go through an age-appropriate devotional, or you simply share what God is teaching you.
22:34-22:35
That's so powerful.
22:36-22:49
Your kids can grab ahold of that and say, "Well, my dad, my mom reads the Bible "and they get something out of it, "which means I can read the Bible for myself "and understand it." Now, I'm not saying you have to have these times every single day.
22:50-22:52
That's not realistic and that's just not gonna happen.
22:53-22:54
Have a realistic goal.
22:54-22:59
Shoot for once a week and bump up that number if you feel compelled to.
22:59-23:00
Maybe two or three times a week.
23:01-23:03
Also, don't be a long-winded teacher.
23:04-23:11
I know I'm very hypocritical saying that as a preacher who stands up there and talks for a long time, but your kids don't need you to give a lecture.
23:12-23:14
Shoot for 10 to 15 minutes.
23:14-23:16
If it goes longer than that, great, roll with it.
23:17-23:19
But don't confuse length for effectiveness.
23:20-23:22
What's more important is consistency.
23:23-23:25
Block out a non-negotiable part of your day.
23:25-23:30
Maybe it's after school, before they go to bed, early in the morning, whatever it is.
23:31-23:35
This is the time we come together as a family to pray and study.
23:37-23:44
As you study the word of God together, constantly and clearly lay out the basics of the gospel message.
23:45-23:56
Teach them that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, came to live a perfect life, die on the cross, rise again, he ascended into heaven, and one day he will return.
23:56-24:01
And we are saved by grace, through faith, in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
24:01-24:04
You can never teach that message too much.
24:05-24:08
Your kids need to hear it every single day.
24:08-24:11
Emphasize the grace of our Savior.
24:14-24:18
And maybe you'll come across a verse that you don't have any idea how to unpack.
24:19-24:22
Your kids will ask a question you don't know how to answer.
24:23-24:25
But don't worry, guess what?
24:25-24:28
You're not God, so you're not expected to know everything.
24:28-24:30
It's okay to say, I don't know.
24:32-24:41
When your kids ask a question that you don't know how to answer, say something like, I don't know the answer to that question but I do know there is an answer, I'm gonna find out what it is.
24:42-24:49
You can do research on your own, you can call Pastor Jeff, you can call me, one of the elders, we would love to help you unpack your questions.
24:50-24:54
Don't let the fear of failure paralyze you and cause you to do nothing.
24:55-24:57
Do not skip out on this important family time.
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Or the second type of teaching is off the cuff chats.
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Off the cuff chats.
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It's not enough to just have planned devotionals throughout the week with your kids, even though these times are important and should be protected.
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We are to teach and train our kids every single day.
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This is a full-time job, which means you have to be ready and impromptu discussions that you were not expecting.
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Some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations I've ever had with teenagers happened, not during youth group, not during a Bible study, but during a van ride, while we were playing miniature golf, while we were eating way more slices of pizza than we probably should have.
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Dan and Alicia, I'm sure you can relate to that as well.
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These conversations pop up as you do life together.
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And sometimes your kids do the legwork for you.
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They ask you off the wall questions about the Bible, about culture, about work, about politics, and this sparks a teachable moment.
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And make sure you cultivate and encourage this sense of inquisitiveness.
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In this era of screens and technology, kids are encouraged to have a hive mind mentality and not be critical thinkers.
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Again, we need to go against the grain and encourage our kids to think about everything that they hear, and to filter out the garbage from the treasure.
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Make sure you affirm your kids when they ask good and challenging questions.
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This is a sign of growth and maturity.
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Whenever you watch a movie or TV show as a family, take a few minutes afterwards to ask your kids, what was the main lesson or message of that movie?
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Is that something that God teaches us in his word, or is it against scripture?
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For these off-the-cuff chats to happen, you have to be engaged.
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You have to be present.
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You have to be active.
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You have to be on the lookout for small yet meaningful ways to mold and shape your children.
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All right, the third type of teaching is milestone celebrations.
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Milestone celebrations.
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Your kids' lives are filled with so many milestone moments that you should celebrate and take advantage of.
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Learning to read is such a big watershed moment.
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It's a perfect time to buy your kids an age-appropriate Bible that they can have for themselves.
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Write a message in the front.
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Write out some of your favorite Bible verses that you know will bless them.
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When they grow up and become a teenager, buy them a study Bible, MacArthur study Bible, ESV study Bible, so they can unpack the questions that they have about particular verses.
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Make a big deal of their birthdays and write them encouraging and motivating letters that you give them along with their gifts.
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I know I had many youth group parents have me write their kids motivating letters they gave them when they turned 16, 18, these milestone birthdays.
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These are some ideas I've seen parents effectively use, but you know your kids way better than I do, and you know how you can personally celebrate them and acknowledge them.
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As the famous theologian Ferris Bueller once said, Life moves pretty fast.
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If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
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As a parent, I'm learning that the days go by very, very, very, very slow, but the years go by quick.
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Our kids grow up way faster than we realize, and we have to take the time to acknowledge their development and accomplishments.
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There are so many different ways to teach your kids and raise them in the instruction of God's word.
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You'll never be the perfect teacher.
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And God doesn't expect you to be.
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He simply expects you to show up and do your best.
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Be consistent and be faithful.
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Or how can I disciple my kids?
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Finally, by having God's expectations be the house rules.
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By having God's expectations be the house rules.
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Let's read verses eight through nine together.
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Moses says this, "You shall bind them, bind God's commands, "the sign on your hand, "and shall be as frontless between your eyes.
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"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house "and on your gates." So Moses wraps up this section of his family chat by calling the people of Israel to continually remind themselves of the Lord's commands.
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And he used the metaphor of binding or writing his word to their hand, to their foreheads and the doorposts of their home that they will never ever forget.
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Now, later on in Jewish history, many took this literally, and they would actually tie boxes called phylacteries to their forehead and to their arms with bands of leather.
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I actually have a picture of this.
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They would carry this out literally and put the verses we just studied in these tiny boxes along with other verses from Exodus and Deuteronomy.
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And sadly, these phylacteries became points of arrogance among the religious leaders of Jesus' day.
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And Jesus tells us in Matthew 23, five, that the hypocritical religious leaders made their phylactery bands long and obvious that everyone would notice them and honor them for their holiness.
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But these words in verses eight through nine were never meant to be taken literally, but figuratively.
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By binding God's word to our forehead, This means that we constantly use our minds to meditate upon and chew over scripture.
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We turn the words of God over and over and over like beautiful diamonds so that we don't miss anything.
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We bind God's word to our hands by living it out and acting upon it.
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Simply put, everything that we think and do should be guided by scripture.
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This book needs to be the ultimate authority in your house and your house rules should be taken from it.
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What better source is there than God's very word?
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To be clear, I'm not saying that I want you to be a legalistic tyrant who views discipleship as churning out moralistic boys and girls who rigidly obey a list of rules.
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You can focus on the external to the detriment of the internal.
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It's possible to have kids who obey you, but don't love Jesus.
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But it doesn't mean that we just throw out the Lord's commands, but God, you know what, that's not important.
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In this book, God lays out how life works best.
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And as Christian parents, we need to set up boundaries and expectations for our kids.
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Boundaries and expectations for what they're allowed to watch and what we allow into their minds.
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Boundaries and expectations around what they're allowed to say and how they would treat other people.
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Kids need structure.
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Kids need rules.
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Kids need boundaries in which they know the limits.
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There's a reason why our country has laws and punishments in place for those who break those laws.
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You can't just steal your neighbor's lawnmower because yours broke.
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You can't burn someone's house down or spit in their face when they hurt your feelings.
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You can't just drive 100 miles per hour wherever you want and expect no consequences.
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Is it legalistic to expect citizens to obey those rules?
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No, it's essential for society and civilization to continue.
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In a similar way, having godly rules in place is essential for your kids' development and spiritual growth.
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We need to bind the expectations of God to the doorposts of our home.
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Be resolute, be unwavering in dedicating your household to the Lord in his ways.
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In this house, we study the word of God together and we pray together.
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In this house, we talk about Jesus Christ and what he has done for us.
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In this house, we treat one other with love and respect.
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In this house, we get involved in the life of the local church.
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We don't just attend on Sundays, but we serve, we fellowship.
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We'll send you to VBS when you're younger and youth group when you're older, so you can be around other Christian influences and have fun in a godly and safe environment.
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This is who we are as a family and this is what we do.
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When you grow up and leave someday, you'll have to decide, am I gonna make these rules the expectation of my life?
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Am I gonna follow after Christ or am I gonna run away from him?
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But while you're under our care, while you're under our roof, you're expected to follow the rules and expectations that are put in place.
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Listen, that's not legalistic, that's not unloving, that's discipling.
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That's showing your kids the gospel and action and laying out the path that God has for them.
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And of course, your kids will kick back at these rules and these expectations, and that's where discipline comes into play, which Dan will talk about more next week.
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But in a world that is filled with darkness and chaos, We as parents are to be bright and shining lighthouses that point our kids in the right direction to safe harbor.
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When the storms of life beat against us, we are to stand strong and firm.
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When our kids are swimming out to sea and going in the wrong direction, we're to continue doing the job that God has called us to do.
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We're to continue being faithful and being the disciples of our kids.
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Let's pray.
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(sighs)
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Lord, we thank you so much for your word.
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We thank you so much that you don't leave us alone, but you've given us your spirit who lives within us, you've given us your word as our guide, and you've given us your people, your church, so that we can live in community together and encourage one another, Lord.
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Lord, I know that there are many parents in this room who are struggling right now.
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Maybe there's some behavioral issues, Lord, that are out of control.
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They have a child who wants nothing to do with Jesus.
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Lord, I don't know what their struggles are, but you do.
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I pray you come alongside these people and you would encourage them, you would comfort them, you would help them to understand that you are with them, that you have not forsaken them.
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Lord, I pray for all the moms and dads in this room, I pray that Lord, we can step into this role of being the disciples of our kids.
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Yes, Lord, it's a massive responsibility, but it's also a major privilege.
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Lord, help us to love our kids well.
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Help us to love our spouses well.
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Lord, we need you.
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As we sang a few minutes ago, we need you every single hour, every single minute, every single second.
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Lord, we can't do any of this without you.
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In Jesus name, amen.
Small Group Discussion
Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9
What was your big take-away from this passage/message?
Why do so many parents feel unequipped to disciple their children?
What does a Jesus-centric home look like? Why is it destructive to put a spouse or child before the Lord on your list of priorities?
What are the three specific ways to teach your kids the truth every day? How is the Lord calling you to implement these types of teaching into your family life or encourage someone else to do so?
Why isn’t it legalistic or unloving to have biblical rules and expectations in your home?
Breakout
Pray for one another!
