7 Words from the Cross

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Review: Mark 11:25-26  |  Luke 11:4  |  Luke 17:4  |  1 Cor 2:8

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
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• Audio Transcript

  00:35-00:39

  Open up your Bibles with me please to Luke chapter 23.

  00:41-00:56

  Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, knew that His very purpose for coming to the earth was to die for our sins.

  00:58-01:09

  If you go through the Old Testament, Isaiah chapter 53 talks about the Messiah, the coming Christ rejected by man, crushed by God for our sins.

  01:11-01:46

  Matthew 16.21, during Jesus' earthly ministry, He told His disciples here and many other places, He told His disciples, "I must go to Jerusalem where I will suffer and be killed and be raised from the dead." One of the clearest teachings of Jesus being completely self-aware of His purpose is in John chapter 10, when Jesus said, "I am the Good Shepherd." The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

  01:47-01:49

  He said, "No one takes my life from me.

  01:50-02:04

  I lay it down of my own accord." He said, "I have the authority to lay it down, and I have the authority to take it up again." this charge I received from my Father." So Jesus knew.

  02:06-02:06

  He knew.

  02:09-02:14

  Not just that it would happen, but that it was the very purpose for His coming.

  02:16-02:24

  And actually, it wasn't even a surprise how Jesus would suffer for you and for me.

  02:25-02:33

  Deuteronomy 21.23 says, A man hanged on a tree is cursed by God.

  02:34-02:40

  And that phrase "hanged on a tree" that became a euphemism by New Testament times for crucifixion.

  02:41-02:43

  I believe Paul refers to that in the book of Galatians.

  02:45-02:49

  Christ was cursed for us.

  02:51-02:54

  Psalm 22 we'll be talking about here in the coming weeks.

  02:56-03:05

  Psalm 22 perfectly describes, vividly describes crucifixion before such a thing even existed.

  03:07-03:14

  I'd like us to recall the events that led us to these hours that we're going to be spending the next seven weeks studying.

  03:16-03:20

  Jesus enters Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover.

  03:20-03:24

  Passover was Israel's celebration of deliverance from Egypt.

  03:26-03:28

  Takes you back to the book of Exodus.

  03:29-03:32

  There Jesus had what we call the Last Supper.

  03:33-03:38

  He shared that last Passover meal with His disciples.

  03:39-03:44

  And from there Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray.

  03:46-04:06

  he was arrested, sold out by Judas for a handful of change, brought to the Romans, accused by the Jewish religious leaders on trumped up charges that made Jesus' trial a circus.

  04:08-04:12

  The Bible tells us Jesus was scourged and then he was mocked.

  04:14-04:17

  Matthew 27-26 and following.

  04:18-04:30

  I'm going to talk about this for a few minutes, because you know when the Bible talks about Jesus being scourged, that's all it says. It doesn't describe what all was involved with that.

  04:32-04:47

  And it would do us well to understand the extent of Jesus' suffering even before the crucifixion, which this led up to the crucifixion, But Roman floggings were absolutely brutal.

  04:49-04:55

  There were usually 39 lashes, but sometimes more, depending on the mood of the guard.

  04:56-05:01

  And they used a whip of braided leather thongs.

  05:02-05:09

  So understand, when it says Jesus was whipped, it wasn't just like a belt that might leave a smack.

  05:09-05:14

  Woven in these thongs were metal balls and pieces of bone.

  05:15-05:26

  So the idea wasn't to smack the flesh, the idea was to hit the flesh, embed in the flesh, and rip part of the flesh off when the whip was pulled back.

  05:28-05:35

  And they would whip from the shoulders, down the back, the buttocks, down the back of the legs.

  05:37-05:40

  The third century historian Eusebius chronicled it.

  05:42-05:52

  He said that when someone was scourged by the Romans - listen to this - it exposed veins, muscles, sinews, and bowels.

  05:53-05:58

  They would beat you until we could see your insides.

  06:00-06:03

  Many people would die just from the beating.

  06:05-06:09

  This is what Jesus Christ endured before the crucifixion.

  06:11-06:13

  Bible tells us that Jesus was crucified.

  06:13-06:18

  He was nailed to the cross between two criminals.

  06:18-06:19

  You have your Bible open.

  06:19-06:21

  Look at Luke 23.

  06:21-06:22

  Look at verse 33.

  06:23-06:34

  It says, "When they came to the place that is called the skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, One on his right and one on his left.

  06:36-06:44

  The person would be laid down and their hands nailed to a horizontal beam using 5 to 7 inch long spikes.

  06:45-06:51

  And when that cross was raised up, the bones in the shoulder would be dislocated.

  06:52-06:59

  And death on the cross usually occurred by asphyxiation.

  07:00-07:36

  that position, your chest was stuck in the inhaled position. And you would go into cardiac arrest. Crucifixion wasn't designed to be a quick thing, like a hanging, or lethal injection, or the electric chair. Crucifixion was designed to make it as long, and painful, and humiliating humiliating as possible, that this is what your God did for you.

  07:37-07:43

  This is what Jesus Christ endured for six hours.

  07:45-07:57

  And during those hours, the Holy Spirit records for us, preserved in God's Word, seven statements that Jesus made while He suffered.

  07:59-08:05

  The first one that we'll be looking at today is one of the most profound.

  08:07-08:12

  One of the most amazing because it is one of the least expected.

  08:15-08:30

  Jesus has been at this point falsely accused, had a mockery of a trial, beaten half to death and ridiculed, spit on and slapped, stripped down and nailed to a cross.

  08:30-09:11

  So when we get to this point of the passage, I would expect Jesus to say something like this, "Father, kill them for this!" Or "Father, save me!" Or "Father, ease my pain!" Instead, His first response is, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Forgiveness was a theme that Jesus taught throughout His ministry, right?

  09:13-09:18

  Mark 11, verses 25-26, Jesus said, "Whenever you stand praying, forgive.

  09:19-09:23

  If you have anything against anyone.

  09:24-09:25

  It's pretty inclusive, isn't it?

  09:27-09:42

  When he taught us to pray, Luke 11.4, Jesus said, "Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us." Pretty inclusive, isn't it?

  09:44-09:45

  Pretty exhaustive.

  09:45-10:01

  Luke 17.4, Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him.

  10:03-10:20

  He taught it, and at the hour of the worst offense, the most heinous crime, the greatest act of wickedness that ever happened or ever will happen on this planet.

  10:22-10:45

  Jesus Christ lived what He taught when He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." And I'll be honest with you, when I was reading this, there was something I struggled with Jesus said they know not what they do.

  10:45-10:47

  Wait a second here.

  10:47-10:49

  They knew exactly what they were doing, right?

  10:52-10:59

  Actually they didn't understand who Jesus truly was.

  11:00-11:04

  Actually Paul talks about that in 1 Corinthians 2.8.

  11:05-11:11

  They wouldn't have done that if they really comprehended that this is God.

  11:13-11:21

  But in their blindness, in their refusal to acknowledge His identity, Jesus said they know not what they do.

  11:23-11:35

  And to display their, I didn't know whether to call it wicked ignorance, or ignorant wickedness, but look at the same verse.

  11:35-11:36

  You have your Bibles open.

  11:36-11:37

  Look at verse 34.

  11:39-11:43

  After Jesus says, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Look at the next statement.

  11:45-11:51

  It says, "And they cast lots to divide his garments." Casting lots.

  11:51-11:52

  What's casting lots?

  11:52-11:53

  It's like rolling dice.

  11:53-11:53

  It's gambling.

  11:55-11:56

  So do you have this scene in your head?

  11:57-12:02

  I never really noticed it before like I noticed it this week.

  12:03-12:24

  But you have this scene that while these soldiers were throwing dice and gambling for literally the only thing Jesus owned, the clothes on his back, behind them, the backdrop of their wickedness was Jesus Christ praying for their forgiveness.

  12:26-12:32

  And then I thought, well, Jesus was a pretty effective prayer, wasn't he?

  12:34-12:48

  So we could say, "Were these people forgiven?" I mean, if Jesus said, "Father, forgive them," if Jesus directly asked for their forgiveness, were those people forgiven?

  12:50-12:52

  Well eventually some of them were, for sure.

  12:54-12:56

  Many of them came to saving faith at Pentecost.

  12:58-13:00

  But listen, church.

  13:01-13:13

  More than a statement about the hearts of the people, this says what you need to know about the heart of God.

  13:14-13:40

  And this is the disposition of the heart of God He commands to us, and He commands to us, that we too would have an inclination towards, we too would have a bent towards forgiveness in our hearts.

  13:41-13:43

  So let's talk about forgiveness.

  13:45-13:45

  Honestly.

  13:47-13:52

  When it comes to forgiveness in the church, Let's be completely honest.

  13:54-14:00

  When it comes to forgiveness in the church, we have romanticized that concept.

  14:01-14:08

  Forgiveness is beautiful, and it's appropriate, and it's essential, and we should all learn to forgive one another.

  14:09-14:18

  And it's lofty, and it's godly, and it's certainly biblical, and we preach on it, and we sing about it, and we celebrate it, and we're all for it!

  14:19-14:27

  Until it's our turn to forgive someone who's offended us.

  14:28-14:38

  And when it's our turn, listen, when it's my turn, when it's your turn, here comes the parade of excuses.

  14:40-14:41

  I'm too offended.

  14:41-14:42

  They aren't sorry.

  14:43-14:44

  They're never going to change.

  14:45-14:46

  They don't care that they hurt me.

  14:47-14:48

  They won't acknowledge that I'm right.

  14:48-14:51

  I am justified to be angry with them.

  14:51-15:00

  And we can take all of our excuses, and we can hold them so tightly, and we can justify them in our minds, and we can defend them to others.

  15:00-15:10

  And then we look at Christ on the cross, crying out for forgiveness for the people who were killing Him.

  15:13-15:23

  Suddenly, suddenly we feel a little less justified and insisting on our hard-hearted forgiveness.

  15:24-15:35

  We can preach sermon series, we can have counseling sessions, we can write books about it, but none of that matters.

  15:37-15:38

  None of it makes a difference.

  15:40-15:49

  If you don't have a heart that is bent towards forgiveness.

  15:51-15:58

  If you don't have a heart that genuinely longs for reconciliation.

  15:58-16:11

  If you don't have a heart that says, "The relationship matters to me more than my being offended." What if they don't want to be forgiven?

  16:12-16:14

  What if they don't want to reconcile, Pastor Jeff?

  16:14-16:16

  What if they refuse?

  16:16-16:19

  That's not your concern.

  16:21-16:25

  Your concern is your heart, not theirs.

  16:27-16:35

  Is your heart bent towards forgiveness as our Lord's was when He suffered?

  16:37-16:50

  Whenever someone's response to you, like Jesus, the people that He was praying for obviously weren't responding at that moment, were they?

  16:52-17:04

  Your heart must be inclined towards, "I'm ready to forgive." I am sincerely praying for the one who is offending me.

  17:05-17:10

  Because, because, because this is the heart of my God.

  17:10-17:14

  And this is the heart that my God wants for me.

  17:16-17:22

  So do you have someone in your life right now that you've had a falling out with?

  17:23-17:26

  Do you have someone in your life that's offended you?

  17:27-17:30

  If you're not sure, I want you to ask yourself this.

  17:32-17:37

  Do you have someone in your life that you would avoid if you saw them at the store?

  17:39-17:44

  Or if their name came up on your phone, would you send it straight to voicemail?

  17:46-17:51

  Is there someone in your life of whom you have said, "I will never forgive them"?

  17:52-17:55

  Well, how does your attitude reflect the one that you call the Lord?

  17:57-17:58

  Because I've got great news.

  18:00-18:11

  There is a list of things of amazing things that happen when you have a heart that's bent towards forgiveness.

  18:13-18:15

  I'm going to give you the list from lesser to greater.

  18:16-18:17

  From lesser to greater.

  18:17-18:24

  Here are the things that happen when you say, "Like my Lord, I want to always be inclined towards forgiveness.

  18:24-18:33

  My heart bent towards forgiveness because only good can come from it." You're like, "What good?" First of all, you release bitterness.

  18:33-18:34

  It's good for you.

  18:35-18:37

  That's at the bottom of the list, but it's on the list.

  18:38-18:38

  It's good for you.

  18:39-18:40

  You release bitterness.

  18:40-18:47

  I don't have to walk around with some chip on my shoulder or thinking about how disgusted or offended I am towards this person.

  18:49-18:50

  You release bitterness.

  18:52-18:57

  Secondly, even better, you may heal a relationship.

  18:59-19:00

  You may heal a relationship.

  19:02-19:06

  Thirdly, even greater, is you honor God by obedience.

  19:09-19:10

  You honor God by obedience.

  19:11-19:13

  That should probably be the top of the list.

  19:13-19:21

  But when I give you the last one, you're going to say, "Yeah, I can understand why you might put that one at the top." Honor God by obedience.

  19:23-19:45

  But to me, when I was thinking about this, yeah, that probably should be at the top, but when I was thinking about this, and I thought, "What's great about forgiveness?" To me, the greatest thing about having a heart bent towards forgiveness is you give the awesome experience of, on a smaller level, but the awesome experience of imitating our Lord.

  19:46-20:00

  When He said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." As we close today, I simply want to lead us in a prayer.

  20:01-20:04

  Because maybe you have struggled with unforgiveness.

  20:06-20:08

  But today we are looking to the cross.

  20:08-20:23

  Today we are allowing the example of Jesus Christ to transform us with His astonishing first statement that He made while He suffered for us when He said, "Father, forgive them.

  20:24-20:27

  they know not what they do.

  20:28-20:29

  I'd like you to bow your heads.

  20:30-20:31

  And we're going to pray.

  20:32-20:36

  Bow your heads, and don't think about the people beside you, around you, or anything.

  20:36-20:41

  I just want you to focus on your heart right now.

  20:41-20:42

  That's all.

  20:45-20:48

  Because for some of you, maybe your heart is not there.

  20:50-20:52

  For some of you, maybe your heart is not there.

  20:54-20:55

  I want to help you get there.

  20:57-20:58

  And I want to lead us in a prayer.

  21:01-21:11

  And in your head and in your heart, I'm going to ask you to just silently agree with me on this, and pray this along with me.

  21:11-21:13

  Because maybe you're not there, but you want to be.

  21:15-21:20

  But in your head and in your heart, I want you to first of all pray, Lord, thank You for the example that You've given us.

  21:22-21:24

  Lord, first of all, Thank You for that example.

  21:26-21:45

  Lord, You would have been in the right to turn all of Your enemies into ash in that moment as the sinless Son of God was horribly treated and crucified.

  21:46-21:48

  So Father, first of all, we want to say thank You for the example.

  21:49-21:56

  And secondly, God, thank You for the power that You give us the faith to obey.

  21:56-22:01

  We don't have that ability in ourselves that comes from Your Holy Spirit.

  22:02-22:06

  God, You know my flesh, the flesh of my brothers and sisters here who have their heads bowed.

  22:07-22:16

  Our flesh says, "Hate." Our flesh says, "I'm in the right." Our flesh says, "That person can go to hell." That's what we say in our flesh.

  22:18-22:32

  Let us look to Christ for the example that He set on the cross, but also to the power that He provides to say no to bitterness and yes to forgiveness.

  22:35-22:43

  Father, I pray right now for myself and for my brothers and sisters here, I pray that You would bring a person to mind whom we need to forgive.

  22:44-22:51

  that we need, that make the call, send an email, shoot a text, get the ball rolling.

  22:53-23:14

  Bring that person to our minds and hearts. Do you have somebody like that? I want you to ask God right now. I want you to ask God right now, "Bring someone to my mind." If the Lord brings someone to your mind, if He did, today is the day.

  23:16-23:17

  Today is the day.

  23:19-23:21

  Not sometime this week.

  23:21-23:22

  Not even tomorrow morning.

  23:23-23:24

  Not even after supper.

  23:25-23:26

  Let's do this now.

  23:27-23:28

  Let's do this now.

  23:30-23:35

  That before you leave this building, you pull out your phone and you send that text.

  23:37-23:55

  You make that call and say, "Hey, I'd like to talk to You." And before you talk yourself out of it, before your flesh tries to justify again in your mind the reason for your offense, I want you to look at Christ on the cross.

  23:56-24:02

  I want you to consider everything He endured leading up to that moment that He was on that cross.

  24:03-24:08

  And when lifted up, I want you to look again at those words.

  24:10-24:11

  Burn them into your heart.

  24:13-24:14

  Reflect them in your life.

  24:16-24:16

  Father, forgive them.

  24:18-24:20

  For they know not what they do.

  24:21-24:21

  Amen.

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Luke 23:34

1. Why did Jesus say, "They know not what they do?" What does that tell you about those who executed Him? See (1 Corinthians 2:8).

2. Were all of these men forgiven because of Jesus' prayer? Explain your position!

3. Why are we, even in the church, "all about forgiveness" until it is our turn to forgive someone?

4. How does Jesus' prayer on the cross motivate me to forgive?

Breakout Questions:

Who do you need to forgive? Have you taken that step? What’s stopping you? Pray for that person, if there is one, and discuss (and hold each other accountable) for next steps!

Forgiven People Forgive, and I Want to Forgive

1. I want to forgive because I live Debt-free (Phm 1:19)


2. I want to forgive because it Blesses others. (Phm 1:20-21)


3. I want to forgive because I will be held Accountable. (Phm 1:22-24)


4. I want to forgive because that is what Christ. (Phm 1:25)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

• Audio Transcript

  00:00-00:09

  Look at Philemon with me, chapter 1, and we're going to be picking up in verse 19.

  00:09-00:11

  You were in chapter 2, weren't you?

  00:16-00:26

  Look at verse 19, Paul says, "I, Paul, write this with my own hand." A lot of times in Paul's letter, he had somebody else write.

  00:26-00:29

  he would sort of dictate and he'd have somebody else do the writing for him.

  00:33-00:42

  But Paul here is saying, "Philemon, I'm writing this." And you sense the personal touch here, right?

  00:43-00:50

  There's a difference between getting a typed form letter in the mail and a handwritten card in the mail, isn't there?

  00:50-00:51

  Isn't there a difference?

  00:52-00:54

  That's what Paul's saying here, like, "I'm writing this.

  00:55-00:56

  I'll write this with my own hand.

  00:57-00:58

  I will repay it.

  00:59-01:10

  That piggybacks off of verse 18, a verse that most scholars believe is teaching that it looks as if Onesimus, when he ran away from Philemon, he stole some money.

  01:12-01:13

  And here Paul is saying, "Does he owe you money?

  01:15-01:15

  I'll pay you back.

  01:16-01:16

  Okay?

  01:17-01:23

  I'll pay you back." To say nothing of your owing me, even your own self.

  01:24-01:31

  Whoa. To say nothing of your owing me, even your own self.

  01:33-01:34

  So here's where we're going today.

  01:35-01:37

  Earlier, you told me you don't want to forgive.

  01:38-01:39

  And I said, yeah, you do.

  01:40-01:41

  And here's why.

  01:41-01:43

  Number one, I want to forgive because I live debt free.

  01:45-01:47

  Because I live debt free.

  01:49-01:55

  Verse 19, we see that Onesimus owed Philemon a material debt.

  01:57-02:13

  And Paul says to Philemon, "You owe me a spiritual debt." Onesimus owed Philemon a temporal debt, and Paul says, "Hey, Philemon, you owe me an eternal debt.

  02:14-02:15

  You owe me your life.

  02:15-02:25

  What's he talking about?" Well, Paul, through ministering the gospel, was pouring into Philemon, and Philemon probably came to Christ through Paul's ministry.

  02:28-02:37

  So Paul says, "If owing somebody something is still the issue on the table, Philemon, I want to remind you of something.

  02:40-02:50

  You owe me your very life." So if we're playing the you owe me game, you might wanna check yourself on that.

  02:52-02:53

  By the way, that is the world's way, right?

  02:54-02:58

  You owe me, you owe me, you owe me.

  03:00-03:11

  And without getting all political, we have never seen the sense of entitlement in our country that we see today, true or false?

  03:13-05:37

  true. The sense of entitlement right now is just appalling. That it's at the point that we expect the government to hand over things to us, which by the way, show me biblically where it's the government's job to reward irresponsibility. That's another sermon. But now the people that do work and innovate and earn are looked that as the villains. How dare you? But this sense of entitlement mentality, "You owe me, you owe me, you owe me, I don't need to work, the government will pay my bills, I don't need to pay my student loans, we'll get the government to do that, I don't need to pay for the house that I bought beyond my means, the government will bail me out." Well, this "you owe me" philosophy is not going to work in our country. It's not going to work financially in our country, but it's not going to work spiritually in the church either. And this is what Paul was reminding Philemon of. As Philemon was, you know, as Paul was anticipating the the argument that Philemon would have, "But Onesimus owes me, he owes me, he owes me, he owes me," and Paul's like, "Really? Let's talk about owing people stuff. Do we live that way?" Well, the truth is, church, we live in a culture of debt. I want you to think about that in the church. There's a sense in which you could say you owe something to everyone. To the people who give time and money and talents, there's a sense in which you could say we owe those people. I think of our worship team up here, you know, Sammy and Laura and Darren and Jay, I look at these people up here and say, "You know what? I owe them something." Because they have invested time and money and resources and talent and energy into facilitating a time where I can come and worship the Lord thanks to them. So there's a sense in which I sort of owe them something, and so do you, by the way.

  05:41-06:52

  To the people that pour into you, the leadership, your small group leader, and If we're gonna start collecting debts, I want you to think of the one that you owe me. So we don't live in a culture of debt, listen church, we live in a culture of grace. We live in a culture of grace, and we do what we do for Jesus Christ, not to repay people. You understand that? We don't do what we do here because I owe I'm gonna do this. Okay, now I owe you one, so I'm gonna do this." We live in a culture of grace. We do what we do because of Jesus Christ, for Jesus Christ, and empowered by Jesus Christ. Amen? So Ken Frederick comes up to me and he says, "You know what, Jeff? I'm going to redo the lobby for you." And my answer is, "No, No you're not.

  06:54-07:04

  So what, like if I drop over dead this afternoon, Ken's like, "I'm not going to redo the lobby now." You're not doing it for me, you're doing it for Jesus Christ.

  07:07-07:12

  Or somebody coming to visit today says, "You know what, this seems like a nice thing, Jeff, I'm going to give you some money." No you're not.

  07:15-07:16

  You're not doing it for me.

  07:19-07:24

  This is for the work of Christ, and it's because of Christ, and for Christ, and empowered by Christ.

  07:25-07:26

  We live in a culture of grace.

  07:30-07:35

  I've invested the Word of God into you, so how could you pay me back for that?

  07:35-07:36

  Think about that.

  07:37-07:38

  What do I invest into you?

  07:39-07:48

  Every week, by God's grace, and under God's authority, by God's authority, I stand up and say, "This is what the God of the universe has said." Do you know what God thinks?

  07:49-07:50

  Do you know what God's saying to his church?

  07:50-07:52

  Do you know what God's calling to his people?

  07:53-07:54

  This is it.

  07:55-07:56

  How could you pay me back for that?

  07:57-08:07

  Like I baked you a banana nut loaf because you shared the eternal word of the sovereign holy God with me, but it's really good banana nut loaf.

  08:07-08:16

  And I just, look, give me some banana bread, but it's not because you owe me anything, right?

  08:17-08:20

  We don't live in that mentality, and that's what Paul's saying here.

  08:22-08:23

  We don't live that way, Philemon.

  08:23-08:24

  You shouldn't live that way.

  08:25-08:28

  Grace keeps our focus where it needs to be.

  08:30-08:33

  So I wanna forgive because I live debt-free.

  08:34-08:35

  I live debt-free.

  08:38-08:40

  Secondly, I wanna forgive because it blesses others.

  08:42-08:44

  I wanna forgive because it blesses others.

  08:45-08:47

  Look at verse 20 and 21 with me.

  08:49-08:54

  Paul says, "Yes, brother, "I want some benefit from you in the Lord.

  08:56-08:58

  "Refresh my heart in Christ.

  09:00-09:18

  "Confident of your obedience, I write to you knowing "that you will do even more than I say." Interestingly, excuse me, this word for benefit, The Greek word for benefit is the same word from which we get the name Onesimus.

  09:19-09:21

  So that's like twice in the book of Philemon.

  09:21-09:23

  Paul's doing these little word games here.

  09:24-09:30

  Quite the wordsmith the apostle Paul, playing games with Onesimus, which means useful.

  09:30-09:39

  And here he says, "I want to get some benefit from you, some anonymi from you," where we get Onesimus.

  09:41-09:48

  I thought about that, you know, what did the Apostle Paul have to gain by Philemon forgiving Onesimus?

  09:48-09:49

  What did he have to gain from that?

  09:51-09:59

  There's a sense in which you could say, Paul could have said to him, "You can forgive him or not forgive him, that doesn't matter to me.

  09:59-09:59

  You know what?

  10:01-10:04

  You forgive Philemon, I'm going to wake up in jail tomorrow again anyways.

  10:05-10:08

  You don't forgive him, I wake up in jail again tomorrow anyways.

  10:10-10:11

  It doesn't matter to me.

  10:13-10:17

  You know what, I'm still going to maybe probably eat tomorrow, the sun's still going to come up.

  10:21-10:27

  You can forgive him or not forgive him, makes no difference to me, but Paul certainly didn't seem to have that sense, did he?

  10:31-10:47

  He says, "Refresh my heart in Christ." There's a sense in which the Apostle Paul was going to reap some sort of personal benefit from Philemon forgiving Ernestus?

  10:48-10:49

  What's that all about?

  10:50-10:51

  Do you know what that's all about?

  10:54-10:59

  One time when I was at the gym a few years ago, it wasn't the last time I was at the gym.

  11:02-11:03

  I know some of you were thinking that.

  11:05-11:29

  So I'm at the gym and I'm at this machine doing these tricep pulldowns and it was right beside the soda machine, I know, it was a gym that had a soda machine, and there's a TV on top of it so I'm doing these tricep pulldowns and I'm just like me and one of our worship leaders sort of have this in common, when there's a TV on we get very distracted.

  11:30-12:48

  kind of watching this TV and doing these tricep pulldowns when all of the sudden on my way down the cable snaps. Right? And my hands hit this other bar that was on the machine full force with that cable snapping. Well one finger really took the blow. Which one was it? It was a while ago. I think it was this one. Really turned like green. And as much as I'd hoped that the fingernail was not going to fall off, it did. So I go to the hospital. Well, I was just being Mr. Macho about it. I'm like, "It's fine, it's fine." Meanwhile, it was like the size of a can of Loop. I'm like, "It's fine." Aaron's like, "You're going to the hospital." Fine. So I go the hospital and they admit me into the emergency room and I go in and the nurse goes, "Let me see that." She's like, "Yeah, we're gonna have to put a hole in that nail." And I'm like, true story, is it gonna hurt?

  12:54-13:23

  Much like it hurt when I fell off the turnip truck. But I'm like, "Is it gonna hurt. She grabs my arm and sort of puts my arm in this headlock thing and she's like yeah it's gonna hurt and pulls out this pen looking thing that has a red hot poker on the end. You medical people, you know I'm talking about? Have you ever seen this thing? How many people know what I'm talking about? This little pen thing that, okay the tip turns orange and she's like and you know Butler Armstrong in Allegheny County heard me yell?

  13:25-13:28

  Well my point in all of this is simply this.

  13:29-13:37

  When I mashed my finger on that machine, there was only one thing I could think about.

  13:40-13:41

  Guess what it was?

  13:42-13:45

  It was that giant nasty green throbbing finger.

  13:45-13:46

  I could not think of anything.

  13:47-13:58

  I wasn't thinking of asthma issues or allergy issues or, oh, I could use a haircut or, you know, do these shorts match this shirt or...

  13:58-13:59

  I was only thinking about one thing.

  14:01-14:12

  And even at the time when it happened, I remember being at the Cub's all just walking around like, "Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow." And people would come in and just want to talk to me, "Hey, Jeff, what are you up to?" Like, "Nothing." And they didn't...

  14:12-14:13

  They had no idea what was going on.

  14:14-14:15

  They're like, "What do you think about these penguins?

  14:15-14:22

  Are they going to turn it around?" and I'm like, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know." I couldn't think about anything else, why?

  14:23-14:29

  You know the Bible says when one part of the body is suffering, what?

  14:30-14:31

  The whole body's suffering.

  14:33-14:35

  When one part rejoices, the whole body rejoices.

  14:38-14:43

  But the point is this, at that point in my life, my whole body was one giant finger.

  14:46-14:51

  And there was a sense in which my whole body was hurting through the finger.

  14:54-14:55

  And so it goes in the church.

  14:56-15:01

  Honoring Jesus Christ never just blesses the one doing it, or even just the direct recipient.

  15:06-15:08

  There's a benefit that comes to the whole body.

  15:10-15:18

  And you know how it is when there are pockets of problems in the church and these people don't like these people and this guy's mad at this guy.

  15:18-15:20

  It weighs on the leadership.

  15:21-15:25

  I guarantee you the leadership isn't going home thinking, "Well, that's their problem.

  15:26-15:28

  Hopefully they'll get it figured out." It weighs.

  15:29-15:31

  It weighs down on you.

  15:32-15:34

  So your forgiveness is going to bless the whole church.

  15:35-15:39

  The whole church is either hurting with your unforgiveness or is being blessed by your forgiveness.

  15:40-15:41

  Which do you want to do?

  15:43-15:44

  Like, "I don't want to forgive." Yeah, you do.

  15:46-15:47

  You want to live debt-free, don't you?

  15:48-15:50

  You want to bless others, don't you?

  15:50-15:54

  Well, thirdly, I want to forgive because I will be held accountable.

  15:56-15:57

  I will be held accountable.

  15:57-15:59

  Look at verses 22 through 24 here.

  16:01-16:58

  says, "At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers, I will be graciously given to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers." Here's another reason you want to forgive. I want to forgive because I'll be held accountable. Now forgiveness doesn't mean we don't hold people accountable. We talked about that back in week one. Because forgiving people forgive, that doesn't mean that when somebody sins we don't hold them accountable for that. But that's not what we're talking about here. What we're talking about here is I am accountable to others to forgive. The Apostle Paul Paul was expecting to be released at this point.

  16:59-17:01

  And do you see what he tells Philemon?

  17:02-17:14

  He says, "I'm hoping through your prayers I will be graciously given to you." Paul was basically saying, "Pray that I get released." Well Philemon could hardly pray for that if he didn't forgive Onesimus.

  17:16-20:23

  That's why Paul in verse 22 says, "Prepare a guest room for me." says, "I'm coming." And it's not a threat, but this was a reminder to Philemon. He says, "I'm coming." And you know what Philemon was thinking? If I haven't forgiven Onesimus, guess what Paul's gonna want to talk about? Right? You think that was in his mind? I'm gonna be face-to-face with Paul? Hey Philemon, how's it going? "Hey Paul, how about them penguins? You think they're gonna turn it around? Tell me about Onesimus." "Yeah, you know, we've been just having a lot of weather lately and I just..." "Tell me about Onesimus. Tell me about that relationship." So it was not a threat but a reminder. You're accountable. You're accountable. So is that really any of your business? Well, Hebrews 13, 17 says, obey your leaders and submit to them for they are keeping watch over your souls as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." That's why sometimes pastors and elders have to have those hard conversations. Believe me, I've been in many situations over the past 15 years where I'm driving thinking I don't want to have this conversation with this guy, but I have to. I know this guy and I have dealt with this issue before, but I got to talk to him about it. Why? Because the Bible says that I'm an overseer of souls, and I take that very seriously. So if there's work that needs done, we need to work on it. So notice it's not just Paul he's held accountable to. He gives the list here, and you know, oftentimes Paul does give a list, but again, I really believe that Philemon, when he read this list, he knew these people. So he's like, "Well, Paul's going to be asking me about the whole Anesimus thing, but who else is going to be asking me about it? How about all these people that said hi. Epaphras, Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, Philemon's like, "These are other guys that I'm gonna be accountable to." So that's what we do is we watch each other's backs. We watch each other's backs and those of you who are in a small group, and we want everybody involved in a small group, but those of you who are in a small group, and specifically the leaders, don't be afraid to have those hard conversations when you have breakout time. When you sit down and say, "Hey, let's talk about this area, whether it's a blind spot or an area of weakness. We need to pray about this. We need to talk about this." And so often we shy away from that stuff.

  20:25-20:28

  But we are biblically responsible to watch each other's backs.

  20:30-20:34

  I want to forgive because I will be held accountable by others.

  20:36-20:40

  And then finally, I want to forgive because that is what Christ wants.

  20:42-20:52

  One last verse, but this isn't just like, Paul's like, "Oh, I can't just end with the list thing.

  20:52-21:17

  I've got to say something nice at the end." Look at what he says, "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit." The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

  21:18-21:23

  So the last thing here is I want to forgive because that is what Christ wants.

  21:24-21:26

  Unforgiveness is not possible in the flesh.

  21:26-21:29

  Actually unforgiveness is an attitude of the flesh.

  21:30-21:33

  And through this series we've seen a lot of appeals to forgive.

  21:34-21:44

  It's because you love people, it's because you belong to the fellowship, it's because you want to restore value in a person, you want to remove bitterness, but this is the last and probably the strongest appeal.

  21:47-21:50

  The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

  21:57-21:58

  You know God has some goals for you.

  22:00-22:01

  Actually a goal for you.

  22:01-22:02

  Do you know what God's goal is for you?

  22:04-22:08

  Romans 8 29 very clearly says what God's goal is for every believer.

  22:10-24:34

  wants to conform you into the image of his Son. God's Holy Spirit has taken up residence within you to work on this single goal. Every day, more and more, to grow you to become more like Jesus Christ. That's his goal. So God is doing this by the power of His Spirit. And the question for you is, are you willing to yield your will to allow God's Holy Spirit to do what he wants to do in you, because your spirit is going to be restless until you allow him to do the work of grace that he wants to do through you. You can fight against it. You can continue to persistently make hard-hearted choices against what he's calling you to do, but with all the love that I can muster, I want to tell you this, you're gonna lose. He who began a good work in you, what? Is he gonna be faithful to complete it? God doesn't start something he doesn't finish. So listen, loved ones, believers in Christ, if you have this issue of unforgiveness with someone, the Holy Spirit is not going to let you rest until that is resolved. So my encouragement to you is to yield your will. To say, "God, this is clearly what you want for me, and God, I'm sorry that this hasn't been what I've wanted for me." But I realize now, Father, that when it gets down to these matters of my will versus your will, may your will be done.

  24:38-24:58

  So I don't want to forgive. Yeah, you do. Because I want to live debt-free. I want to bless others. I want people to encourage me to do the right thing, and I want Jesus Christ to have his work accomplished in me.

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Philemon 1:19-25

Breakout Questions:
Pray for one another.

Forgiven People Forgive, And Here’s What it Looks Like

How do I know I have forgiven?

1. When I make the Choice (Phm 1:8-9)


2. When I Value the person again. (Phm 1:10-14)


3. When I Rejoice that God is working in them. (Phm 1:15-16)


4. When the offense is a Non-issue to me. (Phm 1:17-18)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

• Audio Transcript

  00:00-00:04

  Open up your Bibles to the book of Philemon. Do you have your Bible?

  00:06-01:23

  Do you have your Bible? Hold up your Bible. You got your Bible? I hope you brought your Bible. Do you know that's our middle name? Harvest Bible Chapel. That wasn't an accident. Harvest Chapel. Nah, it needs something else. Not an accident. Open your Bible to Philemon. Where's that at? We'll go near the back of your New Testament the book of Hebrews. Take a left, it's the book right before the book of Hebrews. I shared with you a couple weeks ago how shocked I was when I went to get donuts and the people at Dunkin Donuts were like, "Uh, uh, uh, uh, hang on off to see if we have them." I'm like, "You're a donut store!" I was also shocked one time I went to get tires for my car. I went to the tire store and the guy was like, "We don't have them." "You're a tire store, what do you have?" Then he's like, "Well your tires are an unusual size." Like, I drive a Ford Focus. There's like an infinity of them on the road. Seriously? It's a weird size?

  01:25-02:00

  I expect donuts from the donut store and I expect tires from the tire store because that's their thing. And if you're a Christian, you know what your thing is? Forgiveness. Because what that means is you've come to God whom you've offended by your sin and you've received his gift of salvation in Jesus Christ. And we talked about that, didn't we? That God says your sins, there is now therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

  02:01-02:12

  Your sins are taken away, they're ancient history, they're not an issue because my son died for your sins and he rose from the dead so that you might have life.

  02:20-02:28

  We If you'll pardon the vernacular, sometimes we are knuckleheads when it comes to forgiving other people, aren't we?

  02:30-02:34

  Somebody does one or two little things to offend us and I'll never forgive that person.

  02:34-02:39

  And that's what we've learned from God's Word is that forgiving people, what?

  02:41-02:41

  Let's try that again.

  02:41-02:44

  Forgiving people, forgive, right?

  02:45-02:46

  That's what Jesus said.

  02:46-02:47

  Forgiving people, forgive.

  02:48-02:54

  I'm also learning, Mark Bloomingdale taught me, that forgetful people don't need to forgive.

  02:56-02:57

  At least that's what he keeps telling me.

  02:59-03:01

  Or something like that, I don't exactly remember how it goes.

  03:02-03:05

  But, forgiven people forgive, right?

  03:05-03:21

  When Philemon, just to catch us all up, Philemon was a letter that was written to a man named Philemon, let's try that again.

  03:22-03:25

  Philemon was a letter written to a man named Philemon.

  03:25-03:26

  And who wrote that?

  03:27-03:28

  The apostle Paul, right?

  03:29-03:30

  And why did he write it?

  03:30-03:33

  Well, Philemon had a slave named Onesimus.

  03:35-03:39

  And Onesimus apparently stole some money from his master and ran away.

  03:40-03:41

  So what's the big deal?

  03:42-03:46

  Well, a runaway slave was considered a criminal who can be executed.

  03:48-03:51

  So Onesimus flees to Rome, and he runs into Paul.

  03:51-03:52

  Was he looking for him?

  03:52-03:53

  Did he find him by accident?

  03:53-03:54

  I don't know.

  03:56-03:57

  The scripture doesn't say.

  03:59-03:59

  Here's what we do know.

  03:59-04:02

  He runs into Paul, and Paul shares Christ with him.

  04:02-04:06

  And Onesimus becomes born again.

  04:08-04:11

  So now here's Paul with this new Christian Onesimus.

  04:13-04:20

  And he says, the right thing for you to do is to go back to Philemon.

  04:21-04:22

  That'd be the right thing to do.

  04:23-04:26

  But he could kill me.

  04:26-04:26

  You realize that?

  04:27-04:29

  Slaves aren't considered people.

  04:29-04:30

  They're considered property.

  04:30-04:32

  And he could just kill me, right?

  04:34-04:45

  And Paul's like, OK, Penn, I'm going to write Philemon a personal letter telling him, in Christ, why he must forgive you.

  04:46-04:49

  And that's what we see in this really neat little book.

  04:50-04:56

  And last week, when we started Philemon, we saw that Paul started off reminding Philemon who he is.

  04:56-05:01

  And we said, "I forgive because it's who I am in Christ." That was the message last week.

  05:01-05:02

  It's all about your identity.

  05:02-05:03

  It's all about your identity.

  05:04-05:05

  If you're sitting here today and you're like, "You know what?

  05:05-05:11

  I'm not really a Christian," then I don't expect much from you in a way of forgiveness.

  05:11-05:24

  I don't mean that harshly, but for people that have received Christ and understand who Christ is and what he's done and who I am in Christ, forgiveness is a no brainer.

  05:24-05:25

  Do you know how many times I've sinned?

  05:26-05:27

  Take a guess. How many times have I sinned?

  05:29-05:30

  Three, that was more than 300.

  05:33-05:34

  That was a good guess.

  05:35-05:37

  Maybe 300 before I get out of bed this morning.

  05:38-05:44

  OK, all of the sin that I've ever committed or ever will commit, God said in Christ, forgiven.

  05:46-05:48

  So when somebody sins against me, how dare I?

  05:49-05:52

  How dare I say I'm not going to forgive that person?

  05:52-05:54

  Oh, really? Really?

  05:54-05:56

  So obviously you didn't understand the forgiveness thing.

  05:58-06:02

  That's what Paul reminded Philemon, who are you in Christ?

  06:02-06:03

  That's where it starts.

  06:06-06:07

  So today, here's what we're going to tackle.

  06:07-06:09

  Forgiving people, forgiving, here's what it looks like.

  06:11-06:19

  Now, some might be sitting here as we've been going through the last couple weeks saying, I don't know if I have forgiven.

  06:20-06:21

  Have you ever wondered that?

  06:21-06:22

  Let's be honest.

  06:23-06:25

  This is a school, but this morning it's church.

  06:25-06:27

  Have you ever wrestled with that?

  06:27-06:31

  Like, I'm not sure if I really have forgiven that person.

  06:31-06:32

  I've wrestled with that.

  06:32-06:32

  Have you?

  06:33-06:34

  I've wrestled with that.

  06:34-06:35

  I've had issues with people.

  06:35-06:36

  I'm like, did I really forgive them?

  06:38-06:42

  Well, that's exactly what we're going to be looking at here.

  06:42-06:45

  That's where Paul's going to be confronting Philemon.

  06:45-06:46

  So here's the question.

  06:47-06:48

  How do I know I have forgiveness?

  06:50-06:50

  How do I know?

  06:52-06:53

  Do you have an outline?

  06:53-06:54

  Jot these things down.

  06:55-06:59

  Number one, when I make the choice.

  07:00-07:02

  Keyword, I.

  07:02-07:04

  when I make the choice.

  07:06-07:09

  That's when I'll know that I've forgiven is when I make the choice.

  07:09-07:11

  Let's look at verses 8 and 9.

  07:12-07:24

  Paul says, "Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love's sake, I prefer to appeal to you.

  07:25-07:46

  "I, Paul, an old man, and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus, I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment." He means spiritual father, right?

  07:50-07:55

  So you'll know that you've forgiven when it's you that makes that choice.

  07:57-08:00

  Interestingly, you know, the word forgive is not in Philemon anywhere.

  08:03-08:05

  Nor do we find long doctrinal teaching.

  08:06-08:08

  Here's what we find in Philemon.

  08:09-08:12

  It's an appeal to love.

  08:13-08:15

  Based on character.

  08:16-08:19

  And we saw in verse seven, didn't we, that they had a relationship.

  08:20-09:09

  I mean, Philemon wasn't a stranger. Paul said, "I've derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother." So they had a good relationship. So Paul here is saying, "I could make you." Did you catch that? He said, "I'm bold enough." Was Paul bold? Yeah, he was pretty bold. He said, "I could command you." That would have been an interesting letter, wouldn't it? Dear Philemon, forgive Onesimus because I said so, period! Exclamation point. Couple more. Love Paul. Because I said so. He said, but I don't want to appeal to you on that level.

  09:11-09:17

  Verse 9, he says, "For love's sake." It's for love's sake.

  09:18-09:23

  Do you see the fatherly appeal, the emotional appeal he throws in here?

  09:26-09:30

  I'm an old man. I'm a prisoner.

  09:31-09:42

  If you can kind of put yourself in Philemon's place, keep in mind this was before Skype and FaceTime and all these other things, He would have just gotten this letter from Paul.

  09:43-09:48

  And when he got the letter, Tychicus, remember, was delivering the mail, Philemon would have been right in front of him.

  09:48-09:52

  So could you imagine here, Onesimus, I'm sorry, would have been right in front of Philemon.

  09:53-09:54

  So could you see this picture?

  09:54-09:55

  Here's Onesimus.

  09:58-09:58

  Is he gonna kill me?

  09:59-10:03

  And Tychicus is like, here's a letter, Philemon, this is for you, this is from Paul.

  10:04-10:06

  And you see the emotional appeal here.

  10:06-10:13

  Paul's like, look, man, I could command you, man, but listen, I'm an old man.

  10:14-10:16

  I'm a prisoner for Christ, so please hear my heart on this.

  10:19-10:22

  You need to make the choice, OK?

  10:23-10:37

  And with every bit of passion and emotion that I can try to convey in my communication, You need to make the choice to forgive Onesimus.

  10:39-10:41

  We do this with kids all the time, don't we?

  10:44-10:46

  This authority thing that Paul didn't do.

  10:49-10:49

  Say you're sorry.

  10:50-10:51

  How many people have kids?

  10:51-10:52

  You've gone through that drill.

  10:52-10:53

  Say you're sorry.

  10:53-10:54

  Say you're sorry.

  10:55-10:56

  Say thank you.

  10:57-10:57

  Say hello.

  10:59-11:01

  You call him Mr.

  11:01-11:02

  Bloomingdale, not Mark.

  11:02-11:03

  You didn't go to high school with them.

  11:05-11:07

  But we do that all the time with our kids.

  11:07-11:08

  Look, here's what you have to do.

  11:08-11:10

  And we're discipling our kids.

  11:10-11:11

  We're trying to teach them what's right.

  11:11-11:12

  That's all good.

  11:12-11:15

  But Paul here is saying, I'm not doing that to you, man.

  11:15-11:18

  I'm not telling you what you have to do.

  11:18-11:19

  I'm appealing to you.

  11:20-11:21

  You do the right thing.

  11:24-11:26

  People can encourage you to forgive.

  11:27-11:29

  People can pray with you.

  11:29-11:31

  People can pray for you.

  11:31-11:34

  But listen, nobody can make you forgive someone else.

  11:36-11:38

  That ball is only in your court.

  11:39-11:40

  Nobody can make you do that.

  11:41-11:43

  You have to do it.

  11:48-11:50

  Not-- if you heard these things, maybe you've said them.

  11:53-11:55

  I'll be nice to him for mom's sake.

  11:56-11:58

  Confession time-- how many people have said something like that?

  11:59-11:59

  All right.

  12:00-12:02

  I'll be nice to him for mom's sake.

  12:02-12:03

  Or here's another one.

  12:03-12:11

  I don't know if this is like a cultural thing or if this is a phrase that's used across the board, but I've heard people say this in these situations.

  12:11-12:12

  I'll be civil.

  12:13-12:14

  I'll be civil.

  12:14-12:15

  Have you heard that one?

  12:16-12:20

  Hey, look, you know, you know Tony's gonna be there, right?

  12:21-12:23

  Look, come on, I'll be civil.

  12:25-12:26

  You know what that means.

  12:27-12:27

  I hate that guy.

  12:29-12:38

  But so I don't start a riot or end up punching his teeth on his throat, I'm just going to smile.

  12:39-12:40

  I'm not going to say anything.

  12:40-12:42

  I'll say hi to him, but I'll be civil.

  12:44-12:48

  Now, it has to start here.

  12:48-12:49

  I am making the choice to forgive.

  12:50-12:50

  Have you done that?

  12:52-12:54

  I am making the choice to forgive.

  12:55-12:58

  I'm not doing this for my wife or my mother or the preacher.

  12:59-13:01

  I have to make the choice to forgive.

  13:01-13:02

  So here's a question.

  13:04-13:06

  Can you forgive someone if they are not seeking forgiveness?

  13:07-13:08

  Oh, what about that?

  13:09-13:10

  They're not seeking forgiveness.

  13:10-13:12

  Do I have to forgive them?

  13:13-13:14

  Here's your answer.

  13:15-13:20

  In my heart, I have to make the choice that I want forgiveness.

  13:23-13:25

  The answer to that is yes.

  13:27-13:29

  Can you forgive someone if they're not seeking forgiveness?

  13:29-13:33

  In my heart, I have to make the choice that I want forgiveness.

  13:34-13:35

  You can't make their choice.

  13:35-13:36

  You can make yours, though.

  13:37-13:39

  Like, well, do you have a biblical basis for that?

  13:39-13:40

  Yeah, how about Jesus?

  13:41-13:44

  Remember Luke chapter 23 and verse 34?

  13:45-13:51

  What did Jesus cry out to his heavenly Father while he was being crucified?

  13:52-13:55

  He said, Father-- what?

  13:56-14:00

  Forgive them for they don't know what they're doing.

  14:03-14:10

  Now, when Jesus said that, the people that were crucifying him obviously were unrepentant, but you see the heart of Christ in that.

  14:11-14:14

  He didn't cry out an imprecatory psalm.

  14:14-14:15

  He said.

  14:17-14:18

  Father, my cries for forgiveness.

  14:20-14:21

  You know, someone else did that.

  14:22-14:32

  Acts chapter 7. Stephen, remember while he was being pelted with rocks, do you remember what Stephen said?

  14:34-14:45

  "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." And what we see in Jesus and reflected by Stephen is this.

  14:45-14:51

  My heart is bent towards forgiveness, even if they are not seeking it.

  14:51-14:54

  That's the direction that the compass of my heart is pointing.

  14:58-15:03

  But here's the thing, the relationship is not restored until the offender wants forgiveness.

  15:05-15:10

  I must say that again, the relationship is not restored until the offender wants forgiveness.

  15:11-15:13

  But you have to choose to do your part.

  15:15-15:21

  That's what Paul told Philemon, and by authority of God's Word, that's what I'm commending to you.

  15:21-15:22

  Do your part.

  15:25-15:27

  So how do I know I'm forgiven?

  15:27-15:28

  Well, when I make the choice.

  15:28-15:33

  Secondly, when I value the person again.

  15:34-15:36

  When I value the person again.

  15:36-15:37

  Look at verses 10-14 with me.

  15:39-15:59

  Paul says again, "I appeal to you for my child Anesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment." And parenthetically, "Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me." I'm sending him back to you.

  16:00-16:02

  Sending my very heart.

  16:04-16:12

  I would have been glad to keep him with me in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel.

  16:12-16:25

  But I prefer to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion, but of your own accord.

  16:30-16:36

  So the second thing is, how do I know I've forgiven someone when I value that person again?

  16:36-16:40

  Remember, Onesimus came to Christ, born again, repentant.

  16:40-16:41

  How did we know he was repentant?

  16:42-16:43

  Because he was going back.

  16:44-16:45

  Right. That was a sign of repentance.

  16:47-16:49

  And Onesimus was also fruitful.

  16:50-16:51

  That's what Paul says.

  16:51-16:52

  He's useful to me.

  16:53-16:55

  Actually, verse 11 is a wordplay.

  16:55-16:58

  Do you know Onesimus means useful?

  16:58-16:59

  That's what that name means.

  16:59-17:03

  useful. So Paul's sort of doing this little play on words.

  17:03-17:05

  He's like, you know, your slave useful.

  17:06-17:14

  Well, he was kind of useless and you probably still think he is useless, but now he's useful and he's useful to me and he's coming back and he can be useful to you.

  17:19-17:22

  So Paul's point is what he is useful.

  17:27-17:33

  I want to remind you again, church-- I know we talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but we've got to keep hammering this home.

  17:33-17:36

  Here's how we typically handle offenders.

  17:37-17:38

  We write them off.

  17:40-17:41

  We avoid them.

  17:41-17:42

  We don't need them.

  17:44-17:46

  That's typically-- that's what I've seen.

  17:47-19:47

  When somebody offends, people are a lot less likely to go to that person and say, Wilson, man, you offended me. How likely is that? That's a lot less likely than I'm just not going to talk to him anymore. Right? Am I right? Is that what you see? That's what I see. I'm just not going to talk to that guy. And we just write them off. And there's this underlying bitterness and tension and my way of dealing with it is not dealing with it and that's just not biblical. It's not. It's not biblical. You are in the wrong if that's how you're dealing with an offense, by just avoiding the person. And what do we do in our culture? I'm mad at someone in the family, I'm not going to call them, I'm not going to see them. In fact, I might even unfriend them on Facebook. That's the ultimate sign by the way. Or what do we do in churches? Somebody offends me in the church? What do we do? Come on tell me. Don't be shy. I'm going to the church down the street. Isn't that what we do? I'm just gonna go to another church. I don't like what the preacher said instead of talking to him about it, sitting down like mature adults and talking about it, I'm just gonna go to the church down the street. I don't like what one of the leaders of the church said or one of the elders of the church or I don't like, I don't like, you know, what Sam said up here. I'm offended. I'm offended at the way, you know, Beth to Beth about that, I'm going to Northway.

  19:48-19:52

  That's wrong, man. That's wrong. It's just wrong.

  19:56-20:14

  We're like first-year church plant infancy years, so this probably isn't like in the manual things to say to the church. But listen, if you're here because somebody offended you at another church, and instead of dealing with the offense, your way of escaping is by coming to this church, you should go back to that church.

  20:15-20:16

  I mean that.

  20:18-20:23

  God's glory in the kingdom is a lot bigger than what he's doing just in this church or that church.

  20:23-20:25

  If you're here like, "Man, you know why I'm here?

  20:25-20:36

  It's because one of the elders at this church offended me." You need to go back and talk to that guy and make things right.

  20:37-20:39

  Because hiding out in this church isn't going to do you any good.

  20:40-20:46

  Because the next thing that's going to happen is I'll offend you, and you'll just keep on moving down the street.

  20:48-21:02

  John Price down at Covenant, he's going to be calling me like, "Hey, did you have this guy in your church?" "Yeah, watch out, because in ten minutes he's going to be mad at you, and he'll be going down to the Episcopalian church." True or false?

  21:03-21:04

  Is that true?

  21:06-21:07

  Deal with it.

  21:07-21:11

  If you have an offense, deal with it.

  21:14-21:17

  Go to the person, "Hey man, we gotta talk, man. I'm struggling with this." Deal with it.

  21:20-21:22

  Well, how do I know if we're given?

  21:22-21:28

  Well, it's when I can honestly say, "He means something to me." That's when you know.

  21:30-21:33

  It's when no longer in your heart have you written that person off.

  21:34-21:37

  Which, by the way, remember Jesus said hatred was the same as murder.

  21:37-21:38

  Do you remember that?

  21:38-21:39

  Do you know why?

  21:39-21:44

  It's because in your heart, you might not say it, but you wish that person was dead.

  21:44-21:45

  You've written them off.

  21:45-21:46

  You've killed them in your heart.

  21:47-21:48

  That's unforgiveness.

  21:50-21:51

  How do I know I'm forgiven?

  21:52-21:54

  Is when you say, "Well, you know, he means something to me.

  21:55-22:16

  He means something to me." Here's a hint. When someone offends you and they know that you're upset with them, they are feeling useless to you. They're saying things like, "Well, he hates me.

  22:17-22:48

  She's never really going to forgive me." So I want to encourage you, if you're at this point of the process, like, look, I'm seeking forgiveness, I'm seeking restoration. How do I make people know they're valued? Here's some real practical things. Jot these things down. How can I make somebody know that they're valuable? First of all, don't be fake about it, okay? You're gonna do the business with God first. God, restore the value of that person to me.

  22:49-22:59

  That was Paul's whole point to Philemon. Hey, he's not useless. Don't write him off. He's useful. You need to see them like that. Here's how you can make people know their value.

  22:59-23:15

  Number one, pray with them. Pray with them. When you sit down with them. Mike's like, Jeff, you offended me. And I'm like, man, I'm so sorry. I didn't I didn't realize.

  23:15-23:19

  And I will you accept my apology.

  23:21-23:21

  OK, let's pray.

  23:23-23:29

  That's that's a way of affirming value in a person that we will go to our heavenly father together.

  23:30-23:35

  So pray with them right on the spot, all in favor of on the spot prayer.

  23:36-23:36

  OK.

  23:38-23:39

  Invite them to something.

  23:39-23:41

  Number two, invite them to something.

  23:41-23:44

  That's a real practical way to affirm value in someone.

  23:46-23:47

  (congregation laughing)

  23:53-23:55

  Wilson might say, "Jeff, I forgive you.

  23:57-24:01

  Thank you." In the back of my mind, I'm thinking, is he still mad at me?

  24:02-24:10

  But you know, when Wilson calls up and says, "We're having a barbecue and I'd like you to come." Like, all right, what time is that by the way?

  24:12-24:12

  (laughing)

  24:14-24:15

  That's affirming value.

  24:17-24:19

  Or take them to lunch or coffee.

  24:19-24:21

  Hey, let's just get together and talk, man.

  24:22-24:23

  That affirms value.

  24:23-24:25

  Number three, here's practical stuff.

  24:26-24:28

  Send them a handwritten card or a letter.

  24:29-24:29

  Handwritten.

  24:31-24:34

  What I mean is, okay, text and emails are okay for their purpose.

  24:35-24:43

  But in these situations, nothing beats just a handwritten card, like, hey man, thanks so much for sitting down and talking with me the other day.

  24:43-24:43

  It meant a lot to me.

  24:45-24:48

  Number four, appreciate them, appreciate them.

  24:51-24:53

  Maybe you're having an issue with someone in the church.

  24:54-24:55

  Appreciate them.

  24:59-25:11

  You know, Dan, I'm just, I just want you to know how thankful I am to know every week you got that soundboard taken care of and it'd be rough going if you weren't back there working with Aaron.

  25:11-25:12

  Thank you for that.

  25:12-25:18

  And affirmation, another way you give value, one more.

  25:19-25:20

  The list is infinite.

  25:20-25:22

  I'm just giving you some practical things.

  25:22-25:25

  Chew over how to make people know their value.

  25:25-25:28

  Number five, ask them their opinion on something.

  25:29-25:31

  Ask them their opinion on something.

  25:31-25:40

  When you do that, you're automatically communicating to that person, I value you so much that I wanna know what you think about that.

  25:42-25:43

  I get why are we doing these things?

  25:43-25:45

  Because the person feels like dirt.

  25:45-25:46

  I've offended him.

  25:46-25:52

  And that's your way of saying you're back in the circle of trust, man.

  25:52-25:52

  Right?

  25:53-25:54

  I value your opinion.

  25:56-25:57

  So how do I know I've forgiven?

  25:57-26:04

  Well, when I make the choice and when I genuinely value the person again, I go from useless to useful in their eyes.

  26:05-26:11

  Number three, when I rejoice, when I rejoice that God is working in them.

  26:14-26:17

  When I rejoice that God is working in them.

  26:18-26:20

  Look at verse 15 and 16.

  26:26-26:30

  Paul says, for perhaps this is why he was parted from you for a while.

  26:31-26:37

  that you might have them back forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave.

  26:39-26:46

  As a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and.

  26:47-26:48

  In the Lord.

  26:51-27:02

  So you'll know that you've forgiven someone when you can rejoice that God is working in them, first of all, Paul here points out that God's sovereignty is at work.

  27:03-27:10

  He uses the word perhaps just so he doesn't in any way communicate presumption.

  27:13-27:15

  But what he's saying is, you know what?

  27:15-27:17

  Here was a bad situation.

  27:18-27:20

  This guy stole money from you and ran away.

  27:21-27:22

  Bad situation, right?

  27:23-27:24

  And Paul's like, you know what?

  27:25-27:30

  Maybe that was the thing that God used Because God was after him.

  27:31-27:34

  I mean, God uses some pretty crazy things to go after people, doesn't he?

  27:35-27:38

  Like swallowed by a fish, right?

  27:39-27:41

  Burning bush, right?

  27:42-27:45

  God goes after people in pretty unique ways, and that's what Paul's saying.

  27:45-27:53

  Maybe I'm not excusing what he did, but Paul's saying, you know, when God looks down in his sovereignty, do you believe God's sovereign?

  27:54-28:02

  I do. Do you believe that God knows and is in control of every single thing in the universe?

  28:03-28:05

  According to the Bible, that's true.

  28:06-28:12

  And that's what Paul's saying, maybe this whole thing, a bad situation, God used it for his glory.

  28:15-28:17

  Perhaps that was why he parted from you for a while.

  28:18-28:20

  So he could come to Christ and then you could have him forever.

  28:21-28:29

  Like, not just like master-slave on the earth, but brothers in the Lord on the earth, and like neighbors in heaven.

  28:30-28:32

  You think maybe that's what God was doing?

  28:33-28:35

  He's more than a slave now, He's your brother.

  28:38-28:43

  When we're dealing with unforgiveness though, it's impossible to feel good for the offender, right?

  28:44-28:46

  It's impossible to feel good for the offender.

  28:48-28:48

  Think about it.

  28:49-28:51

  Somebody offends you.

  28:54-28:57

  I mean, really offended you. Really offended you.

  28:58-29:01

  You sit down and turn the TV on.

  29:03-29:04

  They're a contestant on The Price is Right.

  29:05-29:07

  They just won the showcase. How do you feel?

  29:10-29:11

  "I can't believe it!

  29:12-29:16

  I hope their boat rusts."

  29:16-29:17

  (congregation laughing)

  29:24-29:27

  I hope when they're tripped to Puerto Vallarta, they drink the water.

  29:30-29:31

  That's not nice.

  29:32-29:34

  But it's impossible to feel good for the offender.

  29:35-29:35

  It's impossible.

  29:37-29:47

  I just saw this recently where somebody who, I hate to confess this, but there are some people that don't like me.

  29:51-29:51

  Oh, don't laugh.

  29:51-29:53

  I'm sure there are people that don't like you either.

  29:55-29:57

  It's not me, but I'm sure there's someone.

  30:00-30:10

  But someone who, there was an issue like years ago and I'm like a dealt with that come and gone, but this person is still holding onto some stuff.

  30:10-30:13

  Well, friends had visited this church.

  30:14-30:20

  friends of this person visited the church and they said, how was Jeff's church?

  30:20-30:21

  It's not my church, but that's what they said.

  30:21-30:22

  How was Jeff's church?

  30:22-30:35

  And the person that visited said, "Oh, it was really nice, a really nice church." The person went, "Oh." Like so disappointed because God was doing some things.

  30:38-30:43

  Well, when you see the big picture, what is God's ultimate goal for the offender?

  30:45-30:46

  What is God's ultimate goal?

  30:46-30:49

  If somebody offends you, what's God's ultimate goal for them?

  30:51-30:54

  Actually, it's the same goal that he has for everybody, right?

  30:54-30:55

  What's God's goal for everyone?

  30:56-30:58

  He wants to conform you into the image of his son.

  31:02-31:06

  So how would you feel to find out that God has restored that person to himself?

  31:07-31:08

  How would you feel?

  31:09-31:12

  This person offended you and then you found out they became a Christian.

  31:12-31:13

  How would you feel?

  31:18-31:20

  How would you feel to know that God was blessing that person?

  31:23-31:25

  This is so much easier said than done.

  31:26-31:28

  That's why it's a work that only God can do.

  31:29-31:40

  If somebody burned your house down intentionally, went to jail for arson, came to Christ in jail, How would you feel about that?

  31:44-31:45

  How would you feel?

  31:46-31:47

  "Oh, I bet you that was one of them jailhouse conversions.

  31:48-31:59

  Oh, I bet you he's not sincere." Could you honestly say, you know, maybe the Lord allowed him to do this and get arrested in order that he would go to jail and receive the gospel?

  32:07-32:14

  You need to look at people, not according to how they've offended you, look at people according to what they can be in Christ.

  32:15-32:16

  What they can be in Christ.

  32:18-32:23

  Offender now, useless now, but you know what, in God's sovereignty, maybe he's getting that person's attention.

  32:24-32:25

  One more thing.

  32:26-32:27

  How do I know I've forgiven?

  32:28-32:28

  How do I know?

  32:28-32:38

  Well, when I make the choice and when I genuinely value the person again, and when I rejoice that God is working in them, And here's the last thing. How do you know you've forgiven?

  32:40-32:43

  When the offense is a non-issue to me.

  32:45-32:48

  When the offense is a non-issue to me.

  32:54-32:57

  So you thought Paul laid it on thick before. Look at verses 17 and 18.

  32:58-33:01

  That's what I love about Paul. He's hard to argue with.

  33:02-33:03

  He's just hard to argue with.

  33:04-33:11

  Because at this point Philemon might be reading this thinking, "Okay Paul, I hear what you're saying, but he stole from me.

  33:12-33:14

  He owes me.

  33:14-33:31

  He owes me the amount of money that he stole, the work that I had to pay to get done because he was gone, and maybe he had this all calculated. He stole from me." Well, you'll know you're forgiven when the offense is no longer an issue.

  33:31-33:48

  Verse 17, Paul says, "So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me." Again, do you have a scenario in your mind? Here's Philemon reading this, here's Onesimus.

  33:49-33:57

  Paul says, "Philemon, are we partners in ministry?" "Yeah, we are, Paul." See this guy standing in front of you.

  33:59-34:02

  Take him back like it's me standing there.

  34:03-34:03

  Who?

  34:07-34:13

  But but but but he stole from me, Paul, verse 18, if he has wronged you at all.

  34:15-34:17

  Or owes you anything.

  34:19-34:21

  Charge that to my accounts.

  34:25-34:29

  Forgiveness is hard because restitution must be made.

  34:30-34:33

  And really, that's what's happening any time there's an issue of unforgiveness.

  34:34-34:35

  We feel that we've been robbed.

  34:35-34:37

  Maybe it is something physically.

  34:38-34:40

  Somebody stole something physical from us, right?

  34:42-34:44

  Actually took something that belonged to us.

  34:44-34:45

  Sometimes.

  34:49-34:52

  What people stole was a nonphysical thing like your honor.

  34:53-34:55

  Right, or your dignity.

  34:56-35:30

  They took that from you. And there's a sense in which you owe me and nothing is right until you make it right. And to combat that path of thinking, that's why Paul says Philemon, put it on my tab. Does he owe you something? I'll pick up the check for that. Put it on my tab. It's hard to have an issue then, isn't it?

  35:31-35:36

  "But, but he stole from me!" Paul's like, "I'll pay you back." "But, but..." Oh.

  35:40-36:21

  No longer an issue. So here it is. You know you've forgiven when the offense has vanished from your heart. When the offense has vanished from your heart. How do I know if forgiven? If I'm still dwelling on it, if I'm still thinking about it, if the conversation is still going on and on and on and on in my head, I haven't forgiven yet. Forgiveness says I'm not going to think about it, I'm not going to bring it up, I'm not going to mention it next time we talk, it's gone It's history, it's finished.

  36:23-36:24

  I commend that to you.

  36:25-36:34

  Married people, married people, you gotta learn that lesson.

  36:36-36:37

  Gotta learn that lesson.

  36:37-36:52

  Whether you've been married for 10 years like Aaron and I, or three weeks like the Fredericks, for four years or however long, married people.

  36:55-36:57

  You gotta let things vanish from your heart.

  36:58-36:59

  'Cause you know what we do?

  37:01-37:05

  We tuck it away in our little filing cabinet in our heart.

  37:05-37:09

  Next time we get into a fight, oh, oh, you wanna fight, do you?

  37:11-37:11

  Hang on.

  37:13-37:15

  Give me just a moment to retrieve your file.

  37:17-37:18

  Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

  37:18-37:22

  I see here, November the 17th, you did this.

  37:23-37:28

  And then on March the 3rd, you said this.

  37:28-37:30

  And we bring up all this stuff like, seriously, did that happen?

  37:32-37:32

  Let it go.

  37:34-37:35

  Let it go.

  37:37-37:38

  It's a call to grace.

  37:40-37:42

  It's a call to grace.

  37:44-37:49

  Grace is God giving to us what he requires from us.

  37:50-37:53

  We owed God a debt, we couldn't pay it.

  37:54-37:57

  God says, "I'll pay it." That's grace.

  38:00-38:05

  Unless we're perfectly righteous, we can't be in God's presence.

  38:07-38:08

  Do you have it?

  38:09-38:10

  Not yourself.

  38:12-38:18

  God requires it, so God says, "I'm going to give it to you because I require it from you." Holiness?

  38:20-38:21

  We're commanded to be holy.

  38:23-38:25

  Do you have holiness in and of yourself?

  38:27-38:34

  God says, "I require that, so I'm going to give it to you because I require it from you." That's awfully nice.

  38:34-38:35

  That's grace.

  38:36-38:37

  That's grace.

  38:38-38:58

  And see, as we deal with forgiveness, That's what we're saying, like, "Man, you owe me. I'll pay. I'm going to give you what I require from you." So now the offense, whatever it was, it's a non-issue. It's a non-issue.

  39:01-39:06

  We are most like God when we forgive. Do you know that?

  39:08-39:10

  Ephesians 5 says to be imitators of God.

  39:12-39:13

  Do you want to imitate God?

  39:16-39:19

  Do you want to fulfill that word of Scripture?

  39:19-39:20

  How many people in favor of that?

  39:20-39:21

  Be imitators of God.

  39:21-39:22

  That's what it says.

  39:22-39:22

  Read it.

  39:22-39:23

  Ephesians 5.

  39:24-39:25

  Be imitators of God.

  39:25-39:26

  How do we do that?

  39:29-39:35

  I'd suggest to you that we're not any more like God than when we dispense grace.

  39:38-39:40

  You've forgiven me or you've offended me rather.

  39:40-39:44

  You've offended me in, you've offended me in a horrible way.

  39:47-39:49

  It's not an issue anymore.

  39:50-39:51

  I forgive you.

  39:53-40:03

  So you're not anymore like God when you forgive, but as I close, we could get ready to worship here and pray.

  40:07-40:16

  You're not any more like Christ than when you pay someone else's debt on their behalf.

  40:18-40:21

  What I want you to see here as we close, here's a picture of the gospel.

  40:22-40:23

  Did you see it?

  40:24-40:25

  Here's a picture of the gospel.

  40:27-40:29

  Philemon was offended.

  40:31-40:33

  He was sinned against.

  40:33-40:36

  And you could say in this picture Philemon sort of represents God.

  40:37-40:42

  Here's someone who was sinned against, and Onesimus represents man.

  40:44-40:52

  Somebody who rebelled and sinned against now owes a debt and is unable to pay the debt.

  40:55-40:57

  So who does the Apostle Paul represent in this little picture?

  40:58-40:59

  You see that?

  41:00-41:01

  It represents Jesus.

  41:03-41:13

  Because the Apostle Paul stepped in and said, "I don't owe the debt, but I'll pay it on your behalf." That way, the debt is a non-issue.

  41:16-41:26

  And as we close, I just want to ask you, "Who paid your debt?" Who paid your debt?

  41:29-41:33

  Because the truth is you have sinned against God.

  41:36-41:39

  And sin isn't a mistake.

  41:40-41:41

  It isn't a whoops.

  41:44-41:44

  My bad.

  41:45-41:48

  Sin is flagrant rebellion against God.

  41:48-41:49

  That's what sin is.

  41:50-42:09

  There is a holy, perfect, sovereign, righteous God who created us to have a relationship with Him, to live in Him, to glorify Him.

  42:10-42:11

  And what do we do?

  42:14-42:15

  We run off.

  42:16-42:18

  We decide that we're going to do whatever we want to do.

  42:19-42:20

  We've sinned against God.

  42:23-42:30

  And God would be in His rights if He was just going to dispense justice.

  42:33-42:35

  The soul that sins shall die.

  42:35-42:36

  The wages of sin are death.

  42:38-42:47

  The first time you sin, the first time you say, "Well God, I know what You want me to do, but I'm going to do what I want to do." The first time you sin, God would be justified to say, "Straight to hell.

  42:49-42:52

  You've rebelled against the Holy One of the Universe.

  42:52-42:54

  You've spit in the face of God.

  42:57-43:03

  We deserve His worst." But instead, God gave us His best.

  43:05-43:21

  That though we've sinned against God and deserve His wrath, God said, "I'm going to pay the Yeah, a debt must be paid. An infinite holy God was sinned against. A debt must be paid.

  43:22-43:53

  In our ignorance, sometimes we try to pay it. "Well, I'll just go to church and I'll just try to be nice to people and I'll hand out bread at the soup kitchen or something and I'll do all these things and God will look at me and say, 'Okay, yeah, I guess you missed your life, Bob.' But you sort of made up for it by trying to do these good things. The problem with that thinking even though doing those good things, it's good, it's good, good things. The problem with that is the guilt still stands, right?

  43:53-44:19

  If you were arrested and you appeared before the judge and the judge says, "Oh, okay, I see here that you are guilty of breaking every law that you can break in our country," which by the Of course, if you've broken God's law at any point, you're guilty of the whole law, because rejecting the law is rejecting the lawgiver.

  44:20-45:35

  So if you stood before the judge, and he said, "Oh, I see that you are guilty of breaking every single law that somebody could break in our country, everything, everything from jaywalking to rape to murder to Grand Theft Auto, your chances of getting off? What are your chances? Oh, but your honor, you're right. You're right, your honor, but here I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. From this day forward, I will get out and work at the Salvation Army every day. And the judge might say, well, you know what, that's very nice of you to think that, but you're still guilty. The price must be paid. Your good works aren't going to bridge the gap. Payment must be made. And that's the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. God says, "You can't pay it. You can't pay it." But God says, "I'll pay it." And the Bible says God took the form of man. The Word became flesh.

  45:35-45:38

  Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, came to this earth.

  45:40-45:49

  And when he died on the cross, don't think that he was some like religious martyr, like, oh, poor guy was out preaching and they didn't like his preaching, so they killed him.

  45:49-45:55

  The reason he came was to lay down his life as a sacrifice for sin.

  45:56-45:57

  That was God's plan.

  45:58-45:59

  That was under God's providence.

  45:59-46:14

  and it happened under the sovereign watch of God that his son was offered up as a sacrifice so that our sins could be forgiven. Jesus Christ is our substitute.

  46:16-46:20

  The Bible says that after the third day of being in the tomb, do you know this story?

  46:22-47:18

  Jesus rose from the dead. That's why we were singing these songs of victory. We're not here to sing about some dead religious figure. We're here to worship a risen victorious king and when he rose from the dead it was to give us life. It was to restore that relationship to God that whenever our time on earth is done we have no fear. We walk with God and serve God while we're here and death is merely being ushered into his presence. Why? Because someone paid your debt on your behalf. Like I shared earlier, it's been an exciting time in our church. But as life goes, there's victory and suffering hand in hand.

  47:20-47:25

  And this past week, many of you are aware Phil Simons from our church had passed away.

  47:25-47:37

  He'd been battling leukemia and he him and Debbie used to sit actually right behind where the gates are sitting. But the leukemia was rapidly progressing in his body and.

  47:39-47:44

  I was with him in the hospital quite a bit Tuesday, and I said, Phil, what kind of what kind of What time frame did they give you?

  47:47-47:53

  He said, "Imminent." He knew.

  47:56-48:02

  The only difference between Phil and you was that he had more of an idea of when his time was up.

  48:03-48:04

  But your time is going to be up too.

  48:06-48:09

  The question is, what have you done about the guilt of your sin?

  48:11-48:12

  What have you done with that?

  48:16-48:19

  My prayer is that like Phil, I mean, he loved the Lord.

  48:21-48:25

  His tears were for his family, but this man loved the Lord.

  48:26-48:33

  And he knew that his time on the earth would be to finally be personally in the presence of his Lord and Savior.

  48:33-48:35

  He was so excited for that.

  48:35-48:36

  Is Phil having a good day today?

  48:37-48:38

  Do you think Phil's having a good day?

  48:41-48:41

  He is.

  48:44-48:56

  His confidence and his hope was knowing that Jesus Christ paid the price for his sin, and rose from the dead so that he could have eternal life.

  48:56-48:56

  Are you there?

  48:58-48:59

  Have you done that?

  48:59-49:04

  Have you received this gift of eternal life that God has given?

  49:06-49:07

  We're going to close our service.

  49:07-49:09

  If you haven't, I'm going to be sticking around.

  49:10-49:13

  or if you're not sure if you have, come up and talk with me.

  49:16-49:20

  If there are a few of you, we have some other people here that we'll grab, that'll be glad to sit down and talk with you and pray with you.

  49:21-49:23

  If you're not sure, have I made that decision?

  49:24-49:26

  Have I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior?

  49:28-49:28

  Today's the day.

  49:29-49:30

  Okay?

  49:30-49:32

  Let me pray and then let's close.

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Philemon 1:8-18

Breakout Questions:
Pray for one another.

I Forgive....because of who I am in Christ

1. Because I Trust Christ, I forgive. (Phm 1:4-5)


2. Because I Love Christ’s people, I forgive. (Phm 1:5)


3. Because I Belong to Christ’s church, I forgive. (Phm 1:6-7)


4. Because I am Growing in Christ, I forgive. (Phm 1:6)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

• Audio Transcript

  00:01-02:34

  Forgiven people, now I want you to say the whole thing. Ready? Go. Do you believe that? Amen. Let's get back to it. Forgiven people forgive. How are we doing? Who in your life needs forgiveness? Last week, for those of you that weren't here, we To find forgiveness, forgiveness is the decision to release a person from the obligation that resulted from injury. You did something wrong against me, you owe me. Forgiveness is you no longer owe me. I'm releasing you of that obligation. And the New Testament theme of forgiveness is this. We looked at a whole bunch of verses last week, didn't we? But here it is. There is a connection between forgiveness from God and forgiveness to others. There is a connection. And we saw that forgiveness is not the plan of salvation. Forgiveness is the proof of salvation, right? Like, well, is this really such an important thing that we need to spend four weeks on it? And I believe that it is. And just to make it very personal, jot these three things down in your notes. Failure to forgive is going to result in three negative consequences on yourself, okay? So jot these three things down. Failure to forgive, first of all, keeps me in prison to the past. Keeps me in prison to the past. If you're someone who has been holding on to bitterness and holding on to hurts, and we talked about this a little last week, you know, you replay those conversations in your head, and I can't believe he talked to me that way, and you're holding on to that. What you've done is you've imprisoned yourself to the past. You can't move on from it. And you know, the Lord wants to take you to better places, but you can't go there. You've locked yourself in the past. So, unforgiveness, failure to forgive, keeps me in prison in the past. Secondly, failure to forgive will grow bitterness in your hearts. Not only will you be in prison in the past, but you'll become a bitter person.

  02:37-02:38

  And that can be a whole nother sermon.

  02:40-02:43

  Bitterness will destroy you from the inside out.

  02:45-02:49

  And much bitterness comes from I'm just choosing not to forgive.

  02:50-02:56

  Then thirdly, failure to forgive opens the door for Satan.

  02:59-03:01

  It opens the door for Satan.

  03:01-03:02

  I want you to think about that.

  03:04-03:06

  That door that I mentioned that Johnny's going to escape from.

  03:07-03:13

  If somebody was pounding on that door, and I said, "Oh, Satan's at the door.

  03:13-03:16

  Who wants to open the door?" Like, who's going to volunteer for that?

  03:17-03:18

  Who's going to volunteer?

  03:18-03:19

  I'll let him in.

  03:20-03:21

  Absolutely not.

  03:21-03:22

  Keep him out of here.

  03:22-03:36

  But understand that Ephesians 4, verses 26 and 27 say this, "Be angry and do not sin." It's okay to be angry, but you have to deal with it in a godly way.

  03:36-03:37

  Was Jesus ever angry?

  03:38-03:39

  He was.

  03:39-03:40

  Some people think anger is a sin.

  03:41-03:41

  It is not.

  03:42-03:46

  There's a righteous way to deal with anger, and there are righteous things to be angry about, right?

  03:47-03:55

  So Paul says, "Be angry and do not sin." He says, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger," meaning you don't let these issues linger.

  03:58-04:08

  And then he says, "And give no opportunity to the devil." The longer you leave these things open, the more you're inviting Satan in, you're leaving an open door for him.

  04:10-04:11

  It's a failure to forgive.

  04:12-04:20

  So last week we sort of took a little tour through the New Testament, kind of camped out on Matthew chapter 18.

  04:22-04:25

  But we're going to get really specific over the next three weeks.

  04:26-04:50

  I want you to turn, you know there's a book in your Bible that is all about human to human forgiveness. Did you know that? There's a book that's what the whole book is about. It's just person to person relational forgiveness. You know what book that is? Who wants to take a stab at it? It's Philemon. All right, I I want you to turn there.

  04:52-04:53

  Philemon is a little book.

  04:54-04:55

  It's only like one page in your Bible.

  04:56-04:57

  It's the shortest of Paul's letters.

  04:58-05:03

  And how I always find it, go near the back of your New Testament and find the book of Hebrews.

  05:03-05:05

  And Philemon is the book right before Hebrews.

  05:06-05:07

  All right, so turn there.

  05:10-05:11

  Turn louder so I know that you're doing it.

  05:15-05:15

  That's better.

  05:16-05:16

  Better.

  05:19-05:27

  Again, Philemon is unique. It's an individual letter regarding an individual issue.

  05:30-05:35

  You know, the other letters that Paul wrote were to churches or to pastors dealing with congregational issues.

  05:35-05:45

  Philemon is unique because Paul's like, "This is just to one guy because of one issue." It was written at the same time as Colossians during Paul's Roman imprisonment.

  05:47-05:55

  So who was Philemon? Well, he was a man who was led to Christ by Paul and he had a slave that ran away.

  05:55-05:59

  Anybody know the name of the slave? Onesimus.

  06:01-06:08

  Onesimus. Well, Onesimus runs from Philemon and he ends up in Rome and somehow he finds Paul.

  06:08-06:10

  How did he find Paul? I don't know.

  06:10-06:18

  I don't know if he stumbled upon him somehow or if Onesimus was actually looking for Paul.

  06:20-06:24

  The scripture really doesn't say how he found him, but we know that he found him.

  06:27-06:29

  Well, what's the big deal with a runaway slave?

  06:29-06:33

  Well, in Roman culture, a runaway slave was considered a criminal.

  06:35-06:44

  And actually, in verse 18, that we'll be looking at in a couple of weeks, It looks like Onesimus might have stolen some money from Philemon when he hit the road.

  06:46-06:56

  So now you have this runaway criminal slave that stole money, runs into Paul, and when he runs into the Apostle Paul, what do you think the Apostle Paul talked to him about?

  06:58-07:02

  Like, you know, "How about them pirates?" Right? No.

  07:03-07:06

  What do you think Paul talked to Onesimus about?

  07:07-07:23

  He shared the gospel with him, right? That's like what Paul did 24/7. Great inspiration. Everybody he ran into. "Hi, I'm Paul, but let me tell you about Jesus." Well, he shares Christ with Onesimus and Onesimus receives the Lord, so now we have a little bit of a situation.

  07:27-08:07

  Onesimus, you're a Christian now, but you're also a criminal, technically, and a thief. So what should he do? You need to go back. You need to go back to Philemon, the one that you ran from and the one that you stole from. You need to go back. And actually he was sent back. He was sent back to Colossae with Tychicus. Remember when we went through our series in Colossians, Tychicus was actually Paul's mailman. He was delivering these epistles and Onesimus was sent back with him.

  08:09-08:31

  Well, here's the danger. Philemon could have killed him. He could have killed Onesimus because slaves were not treated as human beings. They were treated as property. They were sold. They were exchanged. They were given. So that's what prompted this letter.

  08:32-08:41

  Philemon, in his day, would have culturally been in the right to kill Onesimus when he showed up.

  08:44-08:46

  But Paul says, I'm sending a letter with you.

  08:48-08:49

  And make sure Philemon gets this.

  08:51-08:55

  Before we get into the text, let me just take a second here to talk about slavery.

  09:00-09:02

  Slavery was part of Roman society.

  09:02-09:10

  In fact, in the first century, a third of the population estimated to be slaves, one third.

  09:13-09:18

  When you get to New Testament times, the conditions for slaves were actually improving.

  09:18-09:19

  And do you know why?

  09:21-09:26

  Because the masters had found that contented slaves actually worked better.

  09:27-09:29

  That's what led to improvement in conditions.

  09:30-09:42

  And the truth is, they were better off than the free poor people, because the slaves at least had food and lodging and could even learn trades from their master.

  09:44-09:48

  But understand this, the New Testament does not attack slavery.

  09:53-10:26

  The purpose for that-- the New Testament certainly doesn't condone slavery encourage slavery, except to Christ. But you see, as the gospel was spreading, there would have been a real danger for the gospel to be swallowed up in social reform. And sadly, that's what's happening with a lot of churches. God forbid we ever get down this road where our goal is, "Let's just go after social reform.

  10:26-10:35

  Let's go after social reform. Let's go out and try to correct some wrongs in society." And that doesn't do it.

  10:37-10:43

  God actually did something better to turn the course of slavery.

  10:44-10:47

  He changed the hearts of the slaves and the slave owners.

  10:48-10:51

  And that is eventually what eradicates the issue. Do you get that?

  10:52-11:00

  Instead of God saying, "Let's just attack the issue," God says, "I'm going to change the hearts of people." That's what's going to change it.

  11:05-11:59

  It was always a horrible thing. And even in cases where slaves preferred to be with their masters, you know, bond servants. We still see that the gospel did something better than social reform. It's heart transformation, right? So let's look at Philemon. Are you there? Look at the introduction here, verses 1 through 3, where the Apostle Paul writes, "Paul, a prisoner for Jesus Christ." This is the only letter where he starts that way. Paul, a prisoner for Jesus Christ, and Timothy, our brother. Remember a few weeks ago when Dave Whitcomb shared with us about Timothy. What did you call him? A loser?

  12:03-13:34

  to Philemon, our beloved fellow worker, and Aphia, our sister, and Archippus, our fellow soldier. Some scholars believe that Aphia is actually Philemon's wife and Archippus is his son. And the church in your house, grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." Now the purpose of this letter, as I said, you have Onesimus coming back home but he's a believer now and he's coming to Philemon who is a believer, so the purpose is to bring reconciliation between now Christian brothers. So because this is the goal, Paul's going to start this letter by reminding Philemon who he is in Christ. See, this is really important. Paul didn't just say, you know, "Dear Philemon, forgive him." Love Paul. He starts this by saying, "Philemon, remember who you are in Christ. Not forgive Forgive Onesimus because I say so, or forgive Onesimus because he's a good guy, or forgive Onesimus because the offense really wasn't too bad.

  13:35-13:39

  You need to forgive him because that's who you are in Christ.

  13:42-14:03

  I'd like to remind you, church, that if your forgiveness is always based on the nature of the offense, or the frequency of the offense, or the other person, you're always going to be all over the board. Well, I'll forgive him for this because I like him, but that was a bad offense. But if that guy does that to me, I'm never going to forgive him.

  14:04-14:25

  And we start seeing all these inconsistencies and your forgiveness can't be based on anything other than who you are in Christ. And that's what makes it across the board, right? Because forgiven people do what? What do they do?

  14:26-14:43

  They forgive. So today what we're going to learn is forgiven people forgive because that is who I am in Christ. What we're going to be looking at today, this This is an identity issue.

  14:45-14:49

  And after the sermon last week, I had several people come to me and talk to me.

  14:51-14:54

  God's really working on this forgiveness thing in me.

  14:55-14:58

  He's stirring my heart and I realize that I have some bitterness.

  15:01-15:02

  This is an identity issue.

  15:05-15:07

  Who are you in Christ?

  15:10-15:19

  Because that is going to be the basis from which you're going to learn how to forgive like Christ.

  15:21-15:23

  You know, this week I was trying to think of a way to illustrate this.

  15:23-15:28

  Why would Paul start this letter talking about who he is in Christ?

  15:28-15:31

  He's not trying to flatter him or, you know, tell me something I don't know, Paul.

  15:32-15:38

  Why does he start this letter in verses 4 through 7 that we're going to look at here in a second?

  15:39-17:55

  saying all these things about him, well he's saying, "I'm going to talk to you about forgiveness, but we're going to start with this foundation, knowing who you are in Christ." And the best way to illustrate that, my wife and I were talking, actually when we first met the Whitcombs, I didn't know them from any, but they invited us over to their house and they had like some amazing cheesecake and some even better coffee and we got to meet them and I had no idea who they were. So a lot of times when I meet new people interested in the church, I like to ask questions to sort of get a feel for where they're at doctrinally with the Bible, you know, church philosophy, etc. And something came up about origins, right? So I've been sort of a armchair, you know, creation science student over the years and I sort of threw that out. Like, you know, here's what I believe about creation and here's some reason I believe in creation science. Typically how people respond to that tells me how they believe in the Word of God and what studies they've done, etc, etc. Well, later on that evening, Chris actually handed me a copy of the Genesis record. She's like, you know this book?" And I'm like, "Yeah, who doesn't know this book?" You know, back when churches were trying to accommodate evolutionary science by, "Maybe the Bible doesn't really say that." Here's a man named John Whitcomb saying, "We, you know, we have reason to believe. God's Word is true and science actually backs it up." And Chris is like, "Yeah, John is Dave's dad." And I'm like, "Oh, so what you're telling me is, I don't need to sell you on creation, right?" Like, that was completely taken off the table. I didn't need to sit there for a couple hours and say, "Well, you know, because I believe the Bible is literally true, here's why I believe in creation, and here's..." I'm like, "You guys are already sold." Well, see, That's sort of what Paul's doing to Philemon here.

  17:55-18:05

  Like, I'm going to talk to you about forgiveness, but listen, you already know something about forgiveness because you're forgiven in Christ.

  18:06-18:07

  And what are forgiven people do?

  18:08-18:09

  Forgiven people forgive.

  18:10-18:11

  So that's why he started that way.

  18:11-18:12

  Does this make sense?

  18:12-18:13

  Are you with me?

  18:14-18:15

  All right, do I need to start over?

  18:16-18:17

  No. All right.

  18:19-18:20

  Here it is.

  18:21-18:22

  Draw these notes down.

  18:24-18:26

  I forgive because of who I am in Christ, first of all.

  18:30-18:33

  Because I trust Christ, I forgive.

  18:35-19:02

  Let's actually read through the passage and we'll go back and pick up some of these points, but Paul says, I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the And I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.

  19:04-19:15

  For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

  19:18-19:24

  So laying the foundation, number one, first of all, because I trust Christ, I forgive.

  19:26-21:27

  Did you see that in verses four and five? He says, "I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers." Why? Well, look at the middle phrase in verse five. He's saying it's because of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus. How many people here are big fans of Paula Deen? Paula Deen fans? One. I was afraid this illustration was gonna tank, but we have one. Well, who's Paula Deen? Anybody know who Paula Deen is? She's a chef, right? So if, other than Dale, who I'm sure we all suspected, but if you came to me and you're like, "I'm a big follower of Paula Deen." Well then you know something about cooking, right? You're like, "Oh no, I don't know a thing about cooking." Like, wait, Paula Deen the chef? Right? Or is there like some other Paula Deen, like your next-door neighbor, or like, you know, this co-? Obviously if you follow Paula Deen, you probably know something about cooking, right? Well that's why Paul, starting this letter to Philemon, says, "You know Christ, so you already know something about forgiveness. As a Christ follower, my life is dedicated to the one who is all about forgiveness." Understand this, the unsaved, if you're here this morning and you don't know Jesus Christ, you don't have the resources to forgive, as we'll be talking about these next few weeks. You don't have the resources. So if you don't know Christ and you're coming to me saying, "You know, I just can't I can't forgive. I hate that person." If you don't know Christ, I'm just like, "Well, that makes sense." But if you're someone, you know, "I've been walking with Christ for months or for years, and He's been changing me and leading me," then the forgiveness issue is sort of off the table.

  21:27-21:31

  Like, you know what forgiveness is all about.

  21:34-21:38

  So I shouldn't have to sell you on it because you trust Jesus Christ.

  21:40-21:41

  You have the resources, don't you?

  21:42-21:45

  He models it, he commands it.

  21:47-21:53

  But more importantly for us today, I'd like to remind you that he empowers it.

  21:55-21:58

  It is Christ in you that gives you the strength.

  22:00-22:04

  Remember, Jesus said in John 15, apart from me, you can do what?

  22:04-22:08

  Nothing. That includes forgive and offense.

  22:09-22:10

  You can't do it.

  22:10-22:17

  You can't in your flesh try to muster up enough magical forgiveness power.

  22:17-22:19

  You can't do it. You don't have it.

  22:19-22:23

  It's only Christ in you that gives you the ability to do that.

  22:25-22:26

  But isn't it freeing?

  22:27-22:30

  Isn't it freeing that the decision is made ahead of time?

  22:30-22:31

  Isn't that freeing?

  22:32-22:34

  The decision is made ahead of time.

  22:36-22:47

  Like if I say, "Jane Auer, if you get offended tomorrow, are you going to seek to forgive the person that offends you tomorrow?" Absolutely. I knew he was going to say that.

  22:48-22:54

  Because for him, a follower of Jesus Christ, the decision has been made ahead of time, right?

  22:55-23:03

  Amanda Frederick, at work this week, if somebody offends you, are you going to seek to forgive that person?

  23:04-23:11

  She didn't even hesitate. I didn't even have the question out. She's like, "Yeah." Why? Because the decision is made ahead of time.

  23:12-23:15

  Because I trust Christ, I forgive.

  23:17-23:21

  Secondly, because I love Christ's people, I forgive.

  23:21-23:28

  Look at verse 5 again. The structure in the Greek, it's a little unusual to us in the English.

  23:28-23:38

  It says, "Because if I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints." Like, wait a minute, are you saying that you have, you put your faith in the saints?

  23:38-23:43

  It's really not that type of structure. It's more like an A-B-B-A type structure.

  23:44-23:49

  But the word love really goes with the phrase, for all the saints.

  23:53-23:55

  Because I love Christ's people, I forgive.

  23:59-24:01

  Relationships are more important than my being offended.

  24:02-24:03

  Can you say that?

  24:05-24:07

  I'll tell you what, it's been hard for me at times to say that.

  24:09-24:18

  My offense and holding onto this grudge is more important than me having relationship with that person. I've been there. And God said to do some work in me.

  24:19-24:40

  How about you? Relationships are more important. Relationships. And if I asked you, "Well, do you love the people here?" Some of you are like, "Well, this is my first time here. I don't know these people." Do you love the people here? We'll see.

  24:43-24:45

  Yesterday, it was easy to love everybody from here.

  24:46-24:54

  'Cause we're like playing and, you know, Aaron and I are like trashing people at Ladder Golf and trashing people at Ladder Golf.

  24:55-25:01

  I mean, it was like Derek Jeter showing up at a wiffle ball game.

  25:06-25:07

  At least that's how I choose to remember it.

  25:09-25:12

  But it was easy, we're eating, we're having a good time.

  25:12-25:13

  Johnny Tatum's here, we're having fun.

  25:14-25:16

  And it was easy to love people there.

  25:16-25:18

  But let's see what happens when you're offended.

  25:19-25:20

  Do you still love?

  25:22-25:24

  Again, the decisions made ahead of time.

  25:24-25:26

  Because I trust Christ, I forgive.

  25:26-25:29

  But also because I love Christ's people, I forgive.

  25:30-25:32

  I care more about people than my grudge.

  25:32-25:34

  I care more about relationships than revenge.

  25:37-25:40

  You may not become best friends with the person.

  25:41-25:45

  But you have released them from the debt of injury.

  25:49-25:51

  Pastor Jeff, it's so hard.

  25:52-25:55

  It's so hard to love someone you don't like.

  25:57-25:58

  Can we get a testimony on that?

  25:58-26:00

  Is it hard to love someone you don't like?

  26:02-26:03

  It is.

  26:05-26:06

  But that's grace.

  26:08-26:09

  That's the Jesus way.

  26:10-26:12

  You know, the word for love here is agape.

  26:12-26:15

  That's the "you ahead of me" type of love.

  26:18-26:29

  That even though you've wronged me, even if you've offended me, I'm still going to seek to put you and your needs ahead of me and mine.

  26:31-26:32

  That's not easy.

  26:35-26:36

  But that's Jesus' way.

  26:38-26:45

  So because I love Christ's people, I forgive. Thirdly, because I belong to Christ's church, I forgive.

  26:48-27:00

  This is where I want to camp out for a couple of minutes because verse 6, verse 6 is like sucking in a bullion cube.

  27:00-27:06

  There's like, it's like so much in there, you know, and so let's camp out here for a second.

  27:08-27:11

  Sorry to give you that, that thought.

  27:12-27:13

  So is there anybody doing that right now?

  27:16-27:16

  Okay.

  27:18-27:20

  Because I belong to Christ Church, I forgive.

  27:20-28:02

  Verse six, "And I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective." stop there for a second. When he talks about the sharing of your faith, when I first read that I thought he was talking about handing out gospel tracts. You know, I'm sharing my faith, sharing my faith. Here, here's a gospel tract. Here, here's a gospel tract. Read it. Jesus loves you and here's... that's not what he's talking about actually. Actually the word sharing in the Greek is koinonia. It can also be translated communication or fellowship or partnership.

  28:04-28:05

  That's what koinonia is.

  28:08-28:09

  It's fellowship.

  28:10-28:11

  But understand this again in the church.

  28:12-28:14

  What do we typically think of when we hear the word fellowship?

  28:16-28:18

  Oh, that's when we get together and eat, right?

  28:19-28:20

  We're fellowshiping.

  28:20-28:21

  We're eating together.

  28:23-28:36

  When I was a kid, Darren, you remember, we'd go to those potluck dinners, and it would just be like, this was, God's growing me, but as a kid I was just like, I gotta find the thing that mom made.

  28:37-29:02

  Because that's the only thing I'm sure came from a safe house, right? Oh come on, you've thought it too. That's not fellowship. That might be suffering for the cause of Christ, but that's not fellowship. If you would have had some of that meatloaf, you would have been like, "Amen!" Trust me. Here's what fellowship is.

  29:03-29:18

  It's also more than, "I like you. I like you. Welcome to Harvest Bible Pittsburgh, North. I like you. You're my friend. It's more than that.

  29:19-29:28

  Here's what fellowship is. It's this. We belong together. We belong together.

  29:30-30:05

  We are individual parts of a body. That's what fellowship is. Paul was telling Philemon, "Onesimus, he's your brother in Christ now, so your love for the fellowship, your partnership for the gospel, is even more incentive to forgive." And he writes that your fellowship of the faith, your partnering in the gospel, may be, my Bible translates this, effective.

  30:09-30:12

  Actually, the Greek word literally means powerful.

  30:14-30:17

  That's the effect that forgiveness is going to have on the church.

  30:17-30:19

  It's going to be powerful.

  30:22-30:26

  Every week when we close the service, what are the last three words that we say every week?

  30:26-31:50

  say one two three you are loved we say that every week right listen this can't be a place of people harboring resentments and will these people sit over here because they don't like these people over here and no resentment no resentment you know Johnny had talked briefly about you know harvest core groups getting together and working towards launch and look I'll tell you what the leadership here and our leaders will tell you we have had to deal with issues haven't we Ken and we had to deal with issues don't be shy Michelle we had to deal with issues we've had to deal with issues we've had to there have been times that I've had to ask for forgiveness which God is still growing me in. There have been times that I've had to forgive. But don't picture like, you know, last September, like this core group, we were all walking arm-in-arm down the yellow brick roads singing that ridiculous song. There were some times of this. Wonder Sammy. There were times I'm like, "Sam, I need you to to come over to my house.

  31:50-31:50

  Like, why?

  31:50-31:53

  Because I want to headbutt you in the nose.

  31:55-32:00

  He's like, well, I'm on my way with the back of my hand.

  32:02-32:03

  We've had those times, didn't we, Sam?

  32:04-32:05

  Those were good times, weren't they?

  32:06-32:07

  The answer is no.

  32:08-32:10

  So like, what kept us going through that stuff?

  32:10-32:11

  What kept us going?

  32:15-32:18

  because we were partners in something bigger than ourselves.

  32:19-32:30

  My little disagreement about this, that, or the other with any of the leader teams, or their disagreement with us, we didn't let that drive a wedge because the bigger picture was, God wants his church planted, right?

  32:31-32:34

  He's been providing in miraculous ways.

  32:34-32:38

  Hello, just in the last couple of months, the way God has provided.

  32:40-32:41

  Like, did you see our new podium?

  32:43-32:48

  God has been providing in amazing ways because we knew that God wanted us to plant this church.

  32:48-32:52

  God wanted the name of his son lifted high and glorified.

  32:53-32:57

  God was seeking worshippers to worship him in spirit and in truth.

  32:57-32:59

  That's the thing that drove us.

  32:59-33:03

  OK, so we had some issues and we dealt with them and we moved on.

  33:03-33:05

  What were the issues? I don't even remember now.

  33:05-33:07

  But that's how it is in the church.

  33:07-33:09

  We deal with them and we move on.

  33:11-33:14

  Right? Because what matters is the mission.

  33:16-33:19

  We love God and we love people, but we're committed to the mission.

  33:19-33:25

  And Johnny, I'm sorry the whole phrase didn't fit on the sign, but if you grab a Sharpie, maybe we can fix that.

  33:26-33:27

  But it was the mission.

  33:28-33:31

  We want to glorify God through the fulfillment of the Great Commission in the spirit of the Great Commandment.

  33:32-33:34

  We kept our eyes on that.

  33:36-33:38

  That is the fellowship of the faith.

  33:42-33:47

  Oh, what would the church be like if we were still hanging on to these pockets of unforgiveness?

  33:47-33:48

  What would the church be like?

  33:49-33:51

  Well, first of all, nobody in the leader team would talk to me.

  33:53-34:03

  It'd just be like I'd show up on Sunday, and it'd be like, "I'm still mad at you, boy." And frankly, there's some people that I wouldn't talk to.

  34:04-34:08

  Like, yeah, you go park out back. I don't want to see you.

  34:12-34:14

  Well, the ministry would be stifled, that's what would happen.

  34:14-34:15

  The ministry would be stifled.

  34:16-34:21

  I don't want to talk to the worship team and the finances people don't want to talk to me and the children's ministry.

  34:22-34:25

  Forget them. The ministry would be stifled.

  34:25-34:35

  You see, that's why he says at the end of this, at the end of verse 6, "For the sake of Christ." We're on a mission together.

  34:35-34:38

  We're on a mission to experience God's glory together.

  34:42-34:45

  So because I belong to Christ's church, I forgive.

  34:49-34:54

  And finally. Because I am growing in Christ.

  34:56-35:00

  I forgive. Because I am growing in Christ, I forgive.

  35:01-35:03

  Look back at verse six again.

  35:03-35:06

  This is a really meaty verse.

  35:06-35:21

  He says, "But I pray that the sharing of your faith, you know, the fellowship, the partnership that you have may become effective or powerful." You're like, well, powerful for what?

  35:21-35:23

  Well, look at this phrase very closely.

  35:27-35:45

  for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ." Now, when he talks about knowledge here, he's not talking about facts, okay?

  35:46-35:54

  Literally, this is deep, rich, full experiential knowledge.

  35:55-35:57

  That's what he's talking about here.

  35:58-36:00

  This is not just here's something I learned from a book.

  36:01-36:02

  I read this this morning.

  36:02-36:03

  Now I know this.

  36:04-36:07

  He's talking about you've experienced this.

  36:07-36:10

  So you know this on a whole nother level.

  36:12-36:13

  For example.

  36:16-36:20

  Moms or moms to be, Alicia, have you read What to Expect, What you're expecting?

  36:21-36:21

  You've read that.

  36:22-36:23

  We read that, didn't we, Aaron?

  36:23-36:24

  Okay.

  36:27-36:30

  How many other mothers read that book, What to Expect, We Were Expecting a Few?

  36:31-36:31

  Okay.

  36:33-36:39

  Now tell me, moms, when you read that book, you learned some things, right?

  36:41-36:52

  But after having a child and dealing with the up all night, not sleeping, fussy baby, That's how it was in our house.

  36:54-36:59

  Did you learn the facts from that book in a completely different level after experiencing them?

  37:00-37:02

  Did you learn that in a different level?

  37:04-37:05

  You're in for a treat, Alicia.

  37:07-37:07

  Right?

  37:09-37:12

  Because you're learning. I have no doubt. Alicia is an extremely intelligent woman.

  37:12-37:13

  She's learning.

  37:16-37:22

  But once she's here, you're going to be like, "Now I really get it.

  37:23-37:33

  Now I really understand." Well, I haven't had any babies personally, so when I was thinking about this, I thought about, have you ever seen this exercise program called Insanity?

  37:34-37:34

  Have you seen that?

  37:35-37:37

  There's infomercials on it all the time.

  37:39-37:42

  Well, I've shared with you before weakness.

  37:42-37:44

  I'm a sucker for infomercials.

  37:44-37:44

  I just am.

  37:46-37:49

  Literally, insanity is the only thing I've ever bought from an infomercial.

  37:49-37:52

  Actually, Aaron bought it for me, so I still have a squeaky clean record.

  37:53-37:55

  But I love infomercials.

  37:55-37:59

  Well, that Insanity one just completely-- I was enamored with it.

  38:00-38:05

  Because you get these guys on there, they're all sweating, and they got like their six pack gone.

  38:07-38:08

  They're like, there's no secret to this.

  38:08-38:09

  It's hard.

  38:09-38:10

  It's hard work.

  38:10-38:13

  And if you stick with the program, you'll be ripped like me.

  38:13-38:19

  And I'm watching it and watching it, And I'm just like, that looks hard.

  38:20-38:23

  You know, you do all these, my wife describes it.

  38:23-38:28

  She says, when I do insanity, she says, I'm dancing around the living room like a ninny.

  38:33-38:40

  But you do all these movements, you know, plyometric circuits and things like that, all these jumping jacks and all these goofy things.

  38:40-38:44

  So I'm watching it and I'm like, yeah, you know what, that looks hard.

  38:45-38:46

  Well, I got it.

  38:48-38:50

  And the first day is just a fit test.

  38:50-38:53

  You do these little exercises just to see how in shape you are.

  38:53-38:56

  No joke, the only thing I could think the whole time was don't throw up.

  38:57-38:57

  Don't throw up.

  38:58-39:00

  Seriously, the whole time.

  39:00-39:03

  And then you get to the first actual series of exercises.

  39:04-39:06

  I was like, who does this?

  39:07-39:10

  I mean, this dude on TV is like ripped.

  39:10-39:17

  And he's face down on the floor in a puddle of sweat, like scooping his lungs back into his body.

  39:18-39:22

  Like insanity, aptly named, I would say.

  39:24-39:35

  But here again, I saw and understood that it was going to be hard, but I didn't really understand until I actually did it.

  39:36-39:36

  Right?

  39:37-40:21

  Well, see, that's what Paul is driving at here knowledge. He says full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. Let me ask you, do you want to know Christ or do you want to know about Christ? Which one do you want? If I gave you a choice this morning and said how many people here want to know about Christ? Some of you would raise hand. I'm like, OK, how many of you instead would want to actually know Christ? How many people would sign on for that? I don't just want to know about Jesus. I want to know Jesus.

  40:24-40:28

  That's what he's talking about here, every good thing that is in us.

  40:28-40:32

  You see, that's the beauty of growing in Christ, because here it is.

  40:34-40:35

  You already have.

  40:36-40:39

  Every spiritual blessing in Christ, you already have it.

  40:42-40:57

  Growing in Christ is His way of taking you on your journey through life, so that you are discovering what He has in you.

  40:59-40:59

  Do you see that?

  41:00-41:06

  He says, "Every good thing that is in us," He says, "it's already in you." If I leave it, you already have it.

  41:08-41:10

  But you need to grow in the experience.

  41:13-41:15

  You need to discover it through experience.

  41:15-41:19

  You see, or to put it this way, I could preach all day giving you Bible facts.

  41:20-41:26

  But the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us comes only when you experience Jesus at work in you.

  41:29-41:30

  That's when you know.

  41:34-41:43

  You will know grace and forgiveness when you let Jesus Christ work grace and forgiveness through you.

  41:49-41:50

  That's what Paul is driving at here.

  41:54-41:57

  You can tell he is really setting him up because this is a big issue.

  41:57-42:08

  So He is setting him up in a big way to say, "Listen, I don't want to tell you what I am about to tell you before I remind you thoroughly of who you are in Christ.

  42:12-42:23

  And you need to learn what it is that Christ has for you, because He already has it in you.

  42:24-42:31

  He just wants you to discover it." And that's going to manifest itself through forgiveness.

  42:34-42:51

  And there's somebody still sitting here, I promise you, there's somebody still sitting here saying, "But I don't want to forgive." Jeff, I hear what you're saying, I see what the Bible's saying, but Jeff, I'm just going to be completely honest.

  42:51-43:29

  You don't have to raise your hand, but there's somebody sitting here right now saying, "I you but I don't want to forgive I don't want to well which is going to take you to a better place forgiveness or unforgiveness which one which is more in line with your identity in Jesus Christ forgiveness or unforgiveness which one Which is going to accomplish God's purpose to conform you to the image of His Son?

  43:30-43:33

  Forgiveness or unforgiveness? You know that's God's goal, right? Romans 8, 29.

  43:34-43:39

  God's goal for you is to conform you into the image of His Son.

  43:40-43:43

  What's going to accomplish that in your life?

  43:44-43:49

  Choosing to forgive or choosing unforgiveness?

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Philemon 1:1-7

Breakout Questions:
Pray for one another.

Forgiven People Forgive

What is Jesus teaching about forgiveness?

1. I forgive because Relationships are important. (Matt 18:28-31)


2. I forgive because it is Expected. (Matt 18:31-34)


3. I forgive because I am Forgiven.

What God’s Grace has done to my Sin

1. My sin is Cleansed

Isaiah 1:18 - Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

2. My sin is Removed

Psalm 103:12 - ...as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

3. My sin is Lost

Micah 7:19 - He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

4. My sin is Forgotten

Jeremiah 31:34, Hebrews 8:12 - For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.

5. My sin is Pardoned

Romans 8:1 - There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
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• Audio Transcript

  00:00-00:02

  All right, grab your Bibles and bow your heads. Let's pray.

  00:06-00:12

  Father, we pause again to thank you for the provision that you've made for us.

  00:15-00:42

  And just now we stop and ask that you would minister to the children through the children's ministry, And that you would use the offering that's been received to continue to advance your kingdom Find us faithful stewards father. I thank you for the generosity of this church Just now father help us all to quiet ourselves before you so we can hear what?

  00:43-00:49

  You would be communicating to us through your word We pray in Jesus name Amen Amen.

  00:55-00:58

  All right, grab your Bibles, open up to Matthew chapter 18.

  01:09-01:22

  A couple of years ago, we were doing this purity class for teenagers, for teenage boys, actually, and for men.

  01:22-01:26

  But we really were targeting the teenage boys to talk about purity.

  01:30-01:34

  And on the way to the church, I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts.

  01:34-01:35

  It was like 5 o'clock.

  01:37-01:43

  I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and just thought, pick up three dozen donuts to have for the boys, right?

  01:43-01:45

  Like what teenage boys don't like donuts, right?

  01:45-01:46

  So it's like 5 o'clock again.

  01:49-01:51

  So it's operating time, right?

  01:52-01:54

  I pull into the drive-thru.

  01:55-01:58

  And I said, yeah, I'd just like three dozen donuts.

  01:58-02:01

  I don't care what kind, what flavor, mix them up.

  02:01-02:02

  I don't even care.

  02:02-02:03

  I just need three dozen donuts.

  02:04-02:05

  And there was a pause.

  02:12-02:13

  All right, hang on a second.

  02:17-02:18

  I'm like, okay.

  02:20-02:20

  He comes back.

  02:24-02:26

  Yeah, I'm not sure if we have that.

  02:27-02:32

  I'm like, you're a donut store.

  02:34-02:36

  Why are you checking to see if you have donuts?

  02:37-02:37

  Right?

  02:37-02:39

  I've never run a donut store.

  02:40-02:45

  But I imagine if you were making a checklist of things you'd need to run a donut store, what do you think's near the top?

  02:46-02:47

  Donuts, right?

  02:47-02:53

  Because if you don't have donuts, pretty much anything else you do is kind of like, what are we doing, right?

  02:54-02:56

  Like, you guys are dunking donuts.

  02:57-03:01

  I didn't ask for three dozen of a particular flavor or what.

  03:01-03:02

  I just said three dozen of anything.

  03:02-03:03

  I don't care.

  03:03-03:03

  I'm not eating them.

  03:03-03:05

  Just throw three dozen of something in a box.

  03:06-03:07

  We don't know if we have them.

  03:12-03:13

  You should be an expert in this.

  03:14-03:15

  You're donut people.

  03:16-03:30

  Well, Christians, there's something that you and I should be experts in, that sometimes we balk.

  03:32-03:33

  And that's a forgiveness.

  03:35-03:44

  Shouldn't Christians, more than any other human being on the planet, any other background, religion, whatever, shouldn't Christians understand more about forgiveness than anyone else?

  03:45-03:45

  Shouldn't we?

  03:46-03:50

  And let's be honest, we blow it sometimes, don't we?

  03:51-03:52

  We blow it.

  03:54-03:56

  We become like the drive-thru at Dunkin' Donuts.

  03:56-04:05

  And you know, right now, mentioning forgiveness, I'm sure that some people already are starting to tune out.

  04:07-04:23

  There's going to be people already that are like, "I'm good. I'm good. I don't have anybody in my life." Or there's somebody that's, "Oh, I know what he's going to say. I know what he's going to say, but Jeff doesn't understand my situation, okay?

  04:24-04:30

  If Pastor Jeff sat down with me and really heard what happened, he would understand why there's somebody in my life that I don't forgive.

  04:30-04:31

  He would understand.

  04:32-04:37

  Okay, well, let me ask you.

  04:39-04:43

  Are you good in all of your relationships?

  04:44-04:45

  Yeah, I think so.

  04:47-05:01

  Is there someone that if they were in this auditorium right now, seated somewhere else, you would try to avoid them walking out of here when church is over?

  05:01-05:02

  Is there somebody like that?

  05:03-05:10

  Like if you're sitting over here and you saw that, you're like, "I'm just going to sit and wait until they leave." Is there somebody like that in your life?

  05:11-05:20

  Or, "Gosh, I hope I don't run into them today. I hope they don't come up and want to talk to me." Is there someone that if they tried to call you, you wouldn't want to answer the phone?

  05:22-05:23

  Did you grab your cell phone?

  05:23-05:25

  It's ringing and you see on the caller ID.

  05:27-05:28

  I don't want to talk to that person.

  05:30-05:31

  Do you have somebody like that?

  05:33-05:34

  Or.

  05:38-05:45

  Is there someone in your life that if I went to them and I said, do you still have issues with this person with you?

  05:46-05:47

  They would say, yeah, you know what?

  05:48-05:49

  Yeah, we got some issues.

  05:49-05:50

  Do you have somebody like that in your life?

  05:52-05:55

  That if I went to them, they would say, you know what?

  05:55-05:58

  They might not think there's a problem, but I still have a problem with them.

  05:58-05:59

  Do you have somebody like that?

  06:03-06:06

  The sermon today is really an introduction to the next three sermons.

  06:08-06:10

  But all four of them have one point.

  06:11-06:17

  And the point is this, forgiven people forgive.

  06:21-06:21

  That's it.

  06:27-06:33

  That's as simple and straightforward and biblical as it gets.

  06:35-06:36

  So maybe you're not there yet.

  06:39-07:05

  But by faith and anticipation, I want to say that. Forgiven people forgive. Now we're gonna play a game. I'm gonna define forgiveness and then we're gonna play a game. Forgiveness is decision to release a person from the obligation that resulted from injury. That's what forgiveness is. You injured me somehow.

  07:07-07:09

  Now you owe me something.

  07:10-07:11

  You owe me.

  07:13-07:14

  Forgiveness is saying.

  07:16-07:17

  You don't owe me anything.

  07:19-07:21

  It's not an issue anymore.

  07:23-07:26

  Understanding this, that forgiveness is not enabling.

  07:28-07:30

  OK, forgiveness is not enabling.

  07:31-07:32

  Forgiveness is not rescuing.

  07:35-07:37

  Forgiveness is not justifying.

  07:39-07:42

  Forgiveness is not avoiding accountability.

  07:42-07:44

  We could spend a sermon on each of those things.

  07:44-07:45

  That's not our intention.

  07:47-07:53

  But this forgiveness is a decision to release a person from the obligation that resulted from injury.

  07:53-07:54

  All right, let's play a game.

  07:55-07:56

  We're going to look at some Bible verses.

  07:56-07:57

  These are all from the New Testament.

  07:57-08:02

  And I want you to see if you notice a theme. Okay?

  08:06-08:09

  Matthew 6, 12. We have all those, Ashley, don't we? Of course she does.

  08:10-08:21

  Matthew 6, 12. "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Matthew 6, 14-15. "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

  08:22-08:30

  But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Mark 11, 25 and 26.

  08:31-08:33

  And whenever you stand praying, forgive.

  08:34-08:43

  If you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

  08:43-08:47

  But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

  08:49-08:50

  Seeing a theme yet?

  08:51-08:52

  There's more.

  08:52-09:23

  Luke 6 37 judge not you will not be judged condemn not you will not be condemned forgive and you will be forgiven Luke 11 4 and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us and lead us not into temptation Ephesians 4 32 be kind to one another tender-hearted forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.

  09:25-09:36

  Colossians 3 13, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you.

  09:38-09:41

  So you also must forgive.

  09:43-09:44

  How many people think you saw a theme there?

  09:48-09:51

  Do you think the Lord is trying to emphasize something?

  09:52-09:56

  Over and over and over and over in his word, there is a theme.

  09:56-09:57

  What is it?

  09:58-09:59

  Well, here it is.

  09:59-10:04

  There is a connection between forgiveness from God and forgiveness to others.

  10:06-10:07

  There is a connection.

  10:09-10:10

  But understand this.

  10:11-10:16

  Forgiveness is not the plan of salvation, okay?

  10:16-10:18

  Forgiveness is not the plan of salvation.

  10:19-10:20

  How then must we be saved?

  10:20-10:24

  Well, the way you get saved is by forgiving people, and then God forgives you.

  10:24-10:26

  That is not the plan of salvation.

  10:27-10:30

  Forgiveness is the proof of salvation.

  10:32-10:40

  Forgiveness is the proof of salvation because forgiven people, what?

  10:41-10:42

  Forgive.

  10:42-10:43

  What do forgiven people do?

  10:45-10:45

  Forgive.

  10:46-10:49

  In a month you're going to be standing on your chair and shouting it.

  10:50-10:54

  Forgiving people forgive. Do you agree with this truth?

  10:55-10:57

  Well, let's look at Matthew 18.

  10:59-11:02

  See how Jesus really highlighted this truth.

  11:02-11:12

  Matthew chapter 18, verses 15 through 20, a very popular passage it has to deal with.

  11:14-11:18

  How do we handle if someone sins against us?

  11:19-11:20

  And you know the process.

  11:20-11:22

  First, you go to the person, right?

  11:22-11:23

  We don't go gossiping.

  11:23-11:24

  We don't go telling everybody else.

  11:25-11:27

  You sin against me, I go to you and talk to you about it.

  11:28-11:29

  All right, I sin against you.

  11:30-11:31

  You come to me and you talk about it.

  11:31-11:32

  That's step one.

  11:33-11:36

  Like, well, okay, what if that doesn't resolve the issue?

  11:36-11:39

  Well, then you get a couple more people and you go and talk.

  11:40-11:41

  Well, what if that doesn't do it?

  11:41-11:44

  Well, then you get the church involved.

  11:46-11:48

  Well, then what if that doesn't do it?

  11:48-11:52

  Jesus said, well, then you have to treat that person like a pagan or a tax collector.

  11:53-11:54

  What does that mean?

  11:55-11:57

  That means they need evangelized.

  11:58-11:58

  Why?

  12:00-12:03

  Because forgiven people forgive.

  12:06-12:12

  And if they're not seeing it, if they're not getting it, The end conclusion is, well, maybe they don't know the Lord.

  12:15-12:17

  So Jesus says what to do if a brother sins against you.

  12:17-12:18

  We're not going to read those.

  12:18-12:21

  You can you can read those later on.

  12:21-12:22

  But look at verse 21.

  12:23-12:27

  So Jesus is teaching about forgiveness and then dealing with offenses.

  12:27-12:36

  Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?

  12:37-12:40

  So Jesus talked about how, Peter's like, okay, okay, I got that.

  12:41-12:41

  How often?

  12:45-12:47

  As many as seven times?

  12:53-12:57

  Some of you know the passage, but have to understand a little bit of the background here.

  12:57-13:06

  Peter probably thought he was showing off at this point, because in the rabbinical tradition, it was three.

  13:07-13:12

  I didn't study this part, but I'm thinking that's where the whole baseball rule came from.

  13:12-13:13

  Three strikes and then you're out, right?

  13:14-13:16

  Well, that was the rabbinical tradition.

  13:16-13:19

  I'm obligated to forgive you three times.

  13:20-13:22

  But if you sin against me after that, done.

  13:24-13:26

  So Peter probably thought he was showing off here.

  13:27-13:28

  Like, hey guys, watch this.

  13:29-13:32

  I'm about to show Jesus how awesomely gracious I am.

  13:33-13:56

  How often, Jesus? Seven. Expecting Jesus to be like, "Oh, Peter. Oh, Peter, your grace astounds me." Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven, which is what?

  13:58-14:00

  4 something 490.

  14:01-14:04

  I actually had a woman come to me one time and say 490 is that the limit?

  14:06-14:16

  She actually, yeah literally, she said you know I've had some you know issues with this person and she said did Jesus mean that literally because I think I'm past 490.

  14:18-14:39

  Obviously not, the point is you don't keep count. The point is every time, every time your heart stands ready to forgive. Why? Because what do forgiven people do? They forgive. Right. Right. So Jesus tells a story about that.

  14:39-15:16

  He says, verse 23, "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents." Now what's a talent? It doesn't mean like tap dancing or juggling. It was a unit of money. We'll talk about that in a second. "And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had and payment to be made." Let's stop there.

  15:17-15:52

  We're going to talk about forgiveness and we're going to talk about God's perspective on it. Not the world's. Some of these things that we'll see you might be like I don't know about that I don't know about that. Listen, Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is like this not the kingdom of the world, right? For those of you who follow Jesus Christ, born-again believers in Christ, Jesus said this is this is what it's like for you. The world doesn't agree with this. The world has all kind of philosophies on how we deal with this stuff. Jesus said, but not you.

  15:54-16:16

  You live under a different set of rules, so to speak. You live under the life of the Spirit. You live under the kingdom of heaven. So what's a talent? Okay, I had to have Erin help me with the math because she's like a math whiz and I'm like a a not as much math whiz.

  16:19-16:23

  A talent was actually 20 years wages.

  16:24-16:25

  That was what one talent was.

  16:26-16:27

  20 years wages.

  16:27-16:28

  OK, so here I do some math.

  16:30-16:32

  This man owed how many talents?

  16:34-16:35

  10,000 talents.

  16:36-16:59

  OK, so multiplying this out, one year's wage times 20, because 20 years is one talent, times 10,000, or the amount of talents that he owed, or just think of it this way, 200,000 years wages.

  17:00-17:07

  Okay, so take whatever you earn a year and multiply that times 200,000.

  17:08-17:11

  That's what this man owed the king.

  17:13-17:17

  Now, how many of you sitting here this morning would be in a position to pay that?

  17:17-17:20

  Like, "Oh, I'll just write you a check." Do you take a debit?

  17:21-17:21

  Nobody?

  17:21-17:22

  Yeah, me neither.

  17:23-17:24

  And that was Jesus' point.

  17:24-17:27

  This was unpayable.

  17:28-17:29

  It was unpayable.

  17:30-17:31

  Okay?

  17:33-17:36

  And the question you have, how does that even happen?

  17:37-17:37

  Right?

  17:38-17:39

  How does that even happen?

  17:41-17:47

  It's like the, you know, the bill comes, like, yeah, I'm gonna have to get around to that sometime in 10 years or whatever.

  17:47-17:49

  And it just keeps piling up, piling up.

  17:49-17:50

  Yeah, I really should pay.

  17:50-17:51

  I'm piling up, piling up.

  17:51-17:52

  How do you get to that point?

  17:55-17:59

  It's unpayable, but listen, it's also irresponsible, right?

  18:00-18:07

  And already you're gonna see the connection that Jesus is making, But it's just like our sin.

  18:10-18:16

  Before we come to Christ, it's unpayable and it's irresponsible.

  18:18-18:21

  So this guy found himself way over his head.

  18:24-18:26

  And the king says, "Okay, it's time to settle accounts.

  18:28-18:33

  You can't pay, so you're going to pay." Look at verse 26.

  18:34-18:41

  "So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me and I will pay you everything.

  18:44-18:45

  And you're like, yeah, right.

  18:47-18:50

  He couldn't have, but you can see the desperation.

  18:51-18:54

  This man was basically saying, I'll do whatever it takes.

  18:54-18:55

  Please don't punish me.

  18:55-18:58

  Whatever it takes, I'll do whatever it takes to pay you back.

  18:59-19:00

  I'll pay you everything.

  19:03-19:06

  Well, the king knew that there was no way that's going to happen.

  19:07-19:10

  And he sees this poor guy on his knees probably crying.

  19:10-19:13

  This is a story Jesus made up, so you kind of use your imagination, right?

  19:14-19:16

  You just see the guy, desperate.

  19:20-19:36

  It says, "And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. And you're like, what? Right.

  19:36-19:39

  Go ahead. Try that. Go ahead. What?

  19:41-19:51

  If somebody owed you this, you know, people estimate I've read different things, some say this is several hundred million, some one guy calculated this was like four billion dollars or whatever.

  19:52-19:54

  But imagine owing somebody.

  19:56-19:57

  A billion dollars.

  19:58-20:10

  They're like, "You and your family are going to jail. Have mercy." And they're like, "You know what? You don't owe me anything." Nothing?

  20:11-20:16

  No payment plan, no pound of flesh, no...

  20:16-20:32

  "You don't owe me a thing. You are... you're free." Let's stop here. Some of you know this story, some of you don't, but if you didn't, here's what I think the next verse would say.

  20:33-20:43

  So the man was skipping down the street, kissing people, high fives, hugs, dancing and singing.

  20:45-20:52

  "When I got out of jail, he forgave me to death." That's what you'd expect, right? Isn't that what you'd expect?

  20:54-20:58

  Back handsprings all the way down to 19. That's what I'd be expecting.

  20:58-21:01

  Woohoo! Free! Free!

  21:02-21:18

  Well, it says in verse 28, "But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii." What's that? Well, that was a relatively small amount.

  21:18-21:20

  A denarii was a day's wage.

  21:21-21:24

  So we're looking approximately at three months' wages, approximately.

  21:27-21:31

  In other words, payable, right?

  21:31-21:33

  That's doable, right?

  21:33-21:39

  If you owed somebody three months' wages, you might have to scrimp and save and take a little-- you could pay that back, though, right?

  21:40-21:43

  So this guy finds somebody that owes him three months' wages.

  21:46-22:00

  It says, "And seizing him, he began to choke him, "saying, 'Pay what you owe.'" I was gonna try to illustrate this and say, does somebody wanna come and choke me like the guy in the story?

  22:00-22:03

  And there was a line of people, and people started fighting about who would get to do that.

  22:03-22:04

  And I'm like, forget it.

  22:05-22:07

  You just have to use your imagination on this.

  22:07-22:11

  But, unbelievable.

  22:13-22:19

  He goes right out and find somebody that owes him a few bucks and begins to choke him.

  22:22-22:29

  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, "Have patience with me and I will pay you." Did you ever have deja vu?

  22:32-22:37

  That's exactly what he said in verse 26, right?

  22:37-22:40

  Same speech to the king, "Have patience, I'll pay you back.

  22:41-22:44

  You're free to go." I said the same thing, have patience with me, I'll pay you back.

  22:46-22:49

  He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debts.

  22:51-22:56

  When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed.

  22:57-23:03

  "Uh, yeah." And they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.

  23:04-23:09

  Then his master summoned him and said to him, "You wicked servant!

  23:11-23:13

  I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

  23:15-23:20

  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?

  23:24-23:31

  And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.

  23:33-23:38

  So also, my heavenly father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother.

  23:40-23:44

  from your heart, from your heart.

  23:47-23:49

  So on your outline, what's Jesus teaching about forgiveness?

  23:51-23:54

  Just wanna highlight three things from this parable that Jesus is teaching.

  23:55-24:01

  And the first is this, I forgive because relationships are important.

  24:04-24:06

  I forgive because relationships are important.

  24:07-24:13

  Now, again, this was a story Jesus told, so you've got to kind of connect some dots in your mind, so to speak.

  24:14-24:23

  But would you say that the servant who choked out his fellow servant, would you say at one point those two were probably friends?

  24:24-24:30

  I mean, to loan them money, they must have been friends on some level, had a friendly relationship at some point.

  24:32-24:37

  But unforgiveness resulted in hatred and in violence and in punishment.

  24:37-24:39

  Those things are relationship killers.

  24:39-24:45

  OK, and when you have unforgiveness against someone, it kills the relationship.

  24:49-24:51

  You know, Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself.

  24:53-24:57

  The question is, how would you like to be forgiven?

  24:58-25:01

  How many people here have ever needed forgiveness from another person?

  25:01-25:01

  Anyone?

  25:02-25:02

  Anyone?

  25:03-25:05

  I'm like an expert in this.

  25:05-25:07

  Do you know how many times I've needed forgiveness from another person?

  25:08-25:09

  Like a lot.

  25:11-25:15

  When that happens, how do you want to be forgiven?

  25:16-25:19

  Do you want that person bringing it up every time you see him?

  25:21-25:22

  Hey, Tom, good to see you.

  25:22-25:27

  By the way, remember when you made that jerky comment the other day, I'm still pretty mad about that.

  25:27-25:29

  I thought we dealt with that.

  25:30-25:30

  We did.

  25:32-26:19

  Just taking a walk down memory lane. How do you want to be forgiven? Done with it, right? We dealt with it and we're done with it. And by the way, Christians, dealing with it has to happen. I don't know if it's a cultural thing or what, but you know how most of us deal with hurt and unforgiveness? It's just like, "Well, I'm just gonna avoid that person for the rest of my life. I'm just not going to talk to them. I'll go to a different church or I'll get a different job or I'll whatever. You got to deal with it. And I don't know why it is we can't sit down and say we disagree on this issue. I still love you as a person.

  26:19-26:25

  That hasn't changed. But there's an issue going on here that we have to deal with.

  26:26-26:43

  So we deal with it and then we're done with it, right? We're not gonna keep bringing it up. How do you want forgiven? You want that person to say, "You know what? It's done. I'm never gonna bring it up. I'm not even gonna think about it anymore." That's how you'd want to be forgiven. Love your neighbor as yourself.

  26:44-26:55

  That's how you should forgive. Then verse 35, I want to highlight again, Jesus said, forgive from your heart.

  26:56-26:59

  Okay, we're not going for the hypocritical forgiveness like, Oh, okay.

  26:59-26:59

  I forgive you.

  27:00-27:05

  Meanwhile, the bitterness is brewing in the cauldron of your hearts.

  27:07-27:08

  I'm still angry.

  27:08-27:14

  I'm still, but I said the words, you know, I can't help but think of it.

  27:14-27:21

  Every time I, I read this, a lot of people forgive like the handshake after a high school fight, right?

  27:22-27:23

  You went to current city.

  27:26-27:28

  And I was in a fight in Corn City once, OK?

  27:28-27:33

  And it was actually in Mel Cimanco's gym locker room.

  27:34-27:40

  But after the fight, Coach Cimanco came out and he said, knock it off, you two.

  27:40-27:41

  Now shake hands.

  27:42-27:43

  Right?

  27:45-27:46

  Do you know what that handshake looked like?

  27:48-27:50

  It wasn't this embrace.

  27:52-27:53

  Just bury your head on my shoulder.

  27:56-27:57

  I'm so sorry.

  27:58-27:59

  It wasn't like that.

  27:59-28:00

  We just got done fist fighting.

  28:01-28:02

  She's like, shake hands.

  28:02-28:03

  You know what it was?

  28:03-28:04

  Back to back.

  28:06-28:07

  Seriously, arm extended.

  28:08-28:10

  And it wasn't, I did like four or five pumps there.

  28:10-28:12

  It wasn't that, it was one pump.

  28:12-28:12

  It was like, whoop.

  28:13-28:14

  And that was like, okay.

  28:15-28:19

  I'm sure he walked back into his office thinking, well, they're friends again, it's all good.

  28:20-28:25

  Jesus said, "From your heart, from your hearts." Forgive from your hearts.

  28:26-28:27

  It's not lingering.

  28:28-28:30

  It's not a cancer that's still attached.

  28:31-28:34

  It's gone from your hearts.

  28:37-28:41

  Secondly, I forgive because it is expected.

  28:42-28:45

  Okay, I forgive because it is expected.

  28:47-28:51

  The fellow servants did not miss the irony of what was happening, right?

  28:53-28:57

  Hey, hey, donut store person, shouldn't you know something about donuts?

  28:57-29:05

  Hey, you who were just forgiven of a billion dollars, shouldn't you know something about forgiveness?

  29:06-29:09

  And the fellow servants, they're like, what is going on here?

  29:09-29:11

  Jesus said they were greatly distressed.

  29:11-29:14

  They're like, what is this guy thinking?

  29:17-29:19

  to be forgiven that much and then turn around.

  29:22-29:23

  This isn't right.

  29:25-29:26

  It's expected.

  29:28-29:30

  Unforgiveness is a testimony killer.

  29:31-29:36

  Oh, so you believe in the forgiveness of your sins, but you won't forgive other people.

  29:38-29:41

  Christians, your testimony should be one of lavish forgiveness.

  29:43-29:45

  That's what your testimony should be.

  29:45-29:49

  That's how people should know you in your family, in your workplace.

  29:49-29:50

  That's how they should know you.

  29:52-29:54

  They should say, you know, Bob, I'll tell you what.

  29:55-29:57

  I've seen some people do some really rude things to him.

  29:58-30:01

  And he forgives them, never heard him say a bad word about anybody, and that's true.

  30:02-30:04

  I've never heard him say a bad word about anybody.

  30:05-30:12

  I'm sure from worldly standards, somebody would say you would have justification to say some bad things about some people.

  30:12-30:13

  I've never heard it.

  30:14-30:15

  That should be your testimony.

  30:18-30:20

  Well, he's totally like, he's about forgiveness.

  30:20-30:25

  He's just like, yeah, they did some rotten, horrible things to me and you know what?

  30:26-30:27

  Just gonna deal with it and move on.

  30:28-30:30

  Not gonna think about it, not gonna dwell on it.

  30:31-30:32

  It's expected.

  30:33-30:35

  But even Christians think they found some loopholes.

  30:37-30:38

  Even Christians think they found some loopholes.

  30:38-30:41

  Well, Pastor Jeff, you don't know, you don't know.

  30:41-30:45

  Here's five loopholes, just jot these down if you have some room on your outline.

  30:46-30:48

  Five excuses people give for not forgiving.

  30:51-30:54

  Number five, I just can't.

  30:55-30:57

  Some people, you ever hear somebody say that?

  30:58-30:59

  You need to forgive that person.

  31:00-31:01

  I just can't.

  31:05-31:07

  I am not discounting that it's hard.

  31:09-31:10

  Please hear me.

  31:11-31:15

  Forgiveness is a matter of the will.

  31:17-31:18

  It's a matter of the will.

  31:21-31:22

  It's not a matter of emotions.

  31:24-31:25

  It's a matter of your will.

  31:30-31:35

  "I just can't." "The truth is, I just won't." You can.

  31:35-31:41

  Well, actually, only by the power of Christ can you.

  31:43-31:53

  But Christians have no excuse to say, "I can't. I can't really." You know, the God of the universe resides within you, so what can't you do again?

  31:57-32:01

  Oh, by the way, the God of the universe, like forgiveness is sort of His thing.

  32:01-32:02

  That's like his trademark.

  32:03-32:07

  Like he wrote the book on forgiveness, and he's living in you.

  32:09-32:13

  In the flesh you can't, but you are not in the flesh.

  32:15-32:28

  You need a healthy dose of throwing myself at the Lord wholeheartedly, saying, "God, I can't do this myself. You need to do a work, but God, as an act of my will, I want to forgive that person.

  32:28-32:29

  God, can you make that happen?

  32:33-32:36

  A lot of people don't get there because they don't get past the emotions.

  32:36-32:39

  "I won't forgive, I won't forgive." You can.

  32:41-32:42

  Because Christ will do it in you.

  32:43-32:50

  Number four, top five reasons. Number four, well that other person, they don't want to reconcile.

  32:51-32:55

  That's another reason Christians, "You should forgive that person." Well, you don't want to.

  32:57-33:00

  Jeff, you should forgive Sam. Oh, he doesn't want to forgive.

  33:01-33:06

  He doesn't want the relationship restored. Listen, that's their problem. Don't make it yours.

  33:08-33:13

  As I heard one person put it, you know, forgiveness a lot of times is like those rooms in the hotel.

  33:14-33:16

  Do you ever have those adjoining rooms that have those two doors?

  33:17-33:20

  That you can like, you know, like a big family's all on vacation.

  33:20-33:24

  You can, you have a side, the other room has, you know what I'm talking about?

  33:25-33:25

  Okay.

  33:27-34:22

  Sometimes forgiveness looks like that, that you're saying, "My side's open," and you're like pounding on the door saying, "Listen, I can't make you open your door, but my side is open. I'm not going to kick your door down, but I want you to know that my door is open." So if they don't want to reconcile, that's their problem, don't make it yours. Number three, they'll do it again. If I just forgive them, they'll do it again. You know what? They might. That's their problem. Don't make it yours. Jesus said in Luke 17, verse 4, "If he sins against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him. Notice the word must. Jesus didn't say should or should try. He said you must.

  34:23-34:31

  Seven times a day. Did you imagine? They might do it again. That's their problem.

  34:33-34:54

  Should you burden your own spirit because of the hard-heartedness of someone else. Number two, I'll forgive, but I won't forget. How many people have said or heard that? I'll forgive, but I won't forget. That's a backward statement.

  34:58-35:31

  That is a backward statement. You can't forget if you won't forgive. You can't forget because you're choosing to dwell on it. You see? When that's constantly being played in your mind, that thing that she did to me, that conversation that he and I had that where he said those things and the way he talked and you keep playing it over and over. Anybody ever do that? It just doesn't shut off. You keep playing that thing over and over in your head. I can't believe he He did that to me.

  35:31-35:41

  And if you are unwilling to forgive, you're not going to be able to forget.

  35:44-35:46

  Because you can't forget because you're choosing to dwell on it.

  35:46-35:49

  Forgiveness means I choose to stop thinking about it.

  35:51-35:52

  I choose to stop thinking about it.

  35:56-35:57

  Your mind is an amazing thing.

  36:00-36:02

  But do you know something your mind is unable to do?

  36:03-36:04

  Is think about two things at once.

  36:05-36:05

  You can't do it.

  36:06-36:07

  You can't do it.

  36:09-36:11

  Sure women are better multitaskers than men.

  36:11-36:12

  I won't deny that at all.

  36:15-36:16

  But go home and do an experiment.

  36:16-36:22

  Turn the radio on and turn the TV on and try to hear what's going on at both at the same time.

  36:22-36:22

  You can't do it.

  36:24-36:25

  You can't do it.

  36:26-36:28

  You see, that's how it is with forgiveness.

  36:30-36:40

  When you start filling your mind with other things, you're not going to dwell on the hurt, the offense.

  36:42-36:43

  Here's the big one, number one.

  36:43-36:44

  You know what it is, right?

  36:45-36:46

  You know what number one is.

  36:47-36:48

  He has to come to me.

  36:50-36:51

  That's the big one.

  36:51-36:52

  He has to come to me.

  36:55-36:57

  Well, Matthew 5.

  36:57-37:05

  So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go.

  37:05-37:09

  First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.

  37:12-37:16

  So in that case, you have offended someone else, right?

  37:17-37:21

  So Jesus is saying, summing up, if you've offended someone else, you need to go to them.

  37:22-37:30

  And in Matthew 18, 15, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault." So in that case, you're the one who's been offended.

  37:30-37:33

  And Jesus said you should what? You should go.

  37:34-37:40

  So the way I see it, when you compare Matthew chapter 5 and Matthew chapter 18, if you've offended someone, you should go to them.

  37:41-37:45

  If someone has offended you, you should go to them.

  37:45-37:46

  There's no out.

  37:47-37:51

  Somehow we have in our minds we're going to put the burden of that responsibility on that other person.

  37:51-37:53

  That's just not how it is.

  37:53-37:59

  And I might have to go and say, "Paul, you know what? Did I offend you the other day when I said..." I might have to go to you and talk about that.

  38:00-38:10

  Or if Paul offends me, I've got to call this guy and say, "Paul, you know what, man? I love you, but that hurt." You're on the hook either way.

  38:13-38:23

  Then third lesson, "I forgive because..." This is the big one.

  38:24-38:26

  This is really what this is all about.

  38:26-38:27

  "I forgive because I am," what?

  38:29-38:29

  Forgiven.

  38:32-38:43

  "I forgive because I am forgiven." If you can't forgive or you won't forgive, please hear me.

  38:45-39:01

  The first question is, "Do I really understand the gospel?" C.S. Lewis said this, "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." So let me ask you, how many sins have you been forgiven by God?

  39:02-39:04

  How many? Let's put a number.

  39:06-39:07

  Darla, how many? Five or six?

  39:08-39:11

  I think God's forgiven you five or six times, He's saying more, right?

  39:12-39:12

  Obviously.

  39:12-39:25

  Could you keep track of every thought, word, or deed in the course of your life, and the ones that you will do when you leave here?

  39:27-39:29

  What kind of a number could you put on that?

  39:32-39:33

  You couldn't.

  39:36-39:38

  You couldn't put a number on that.

  39:42-39:50

  So take time to consider all of the things God has forgiven me for in Christ.

  39:52-40:03

  How can I possibly hold one sin or two sins or 490 sins against someone else?

  40:05-40:07

  It's foolishness, isn't it?

  40:08-40:09

  How dare I?

  40:13-40:18

  It's one of the interesting things about being a pastor, when people come for counseling over issues like this.

  40:18-40:19

  I've seen it so many times.

  40:20-40:21

  Well, what's really the issue?

  40:21-40:28

  When people start talking about it out loud, you see that look of recognition on their face halfway through, that they're like, "Oh wow, that is really stupid, isn't it?

  40:29-40:40

  That I'm so mad about that." But when they start talking, yeah, I'm so upset because I might have misinterpreted something in the tone of her voice.

  40:46-40:59

  And I've offended a holy God who has said in Christ, "You're free." What am I doing? What am I doing?

  41:00-41:05

  Not only were your sins more, but they were greater because you sinned against God.

  41:08-41:15

  So the only way to forgive is to live in the understanding and freedom of Christ's forgiveness.

  41:20-41:23

  I want you to jot some notes down. I have this on your outline.

  41:23-41:25

  We're coming to a conclusion here.

  41:28-41:29

  Thank you for your grace.

  41:29-41:32

  I haven't preached for the last three weeks, so I've had some things to say.

  41:35-41:38

  And really, this was just the introduction to the next three sermons.

  41:38-41:41

  Aren't you glad I'm not doing, like, the sermon that goes with this introduction?

  41:46-41:54

  No matter how many times we preach this, teach this, sing this, some people don't get it.

  41:55-41:56

  So we're going to take another run at it.

  41:56-41:58

  This is so important you understand.

  41:59-42:03

  If I were to ask you, how thorough has your forgiveness been from Christ?

  42:03-42:07

  How thoroughly are you forgiven? How completely are you forgiven?

  42:08-42:24

  I think we have like the head theological, biblical answer, but I still talk to Christians that say things like, "When we're lined up to get into heaven, I hope you're not standing behind me, because I have a lot to answer for." I have a good friend that says that.

  42:25-42:27

  every time I see him, and I give him the same sermon every time.

  42:28-42:32

  Like, "Have you received Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sin?" "Oh yeah, I have." Then it's not an issue.

  42:35-42:37

  But people still hold on. I'm going to have a lot to answer for.

  42:38-42:48

  I had another friend, "God, when I die, God's going to show me a movie of my life and sit there and point out all the things that I've done wrong." People still hold on to these silly notions.

  42:49-42:54

  The only way that you're going to forgive people is when you understand how thoroughly and completely you've been forgiven.

  42:54-42:56

  So we're going to take a couple minutes and do that, okay?

  42:58-43:00

  Quick study. This will be real quick.

  43:01-43:02

  I'm going to jot these down, look these up.

  43:04-43:08

  What God's grace has done to my sin, number one, my sin is cleansed.

  43:09-43:16

  Isaiah 118, "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.

  43:16-43:23

  Though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." So God promises a thorough cleansing. How white is snow?

  43:25-43:25

  Pretty white, right?

  43:27-43:40

  No matter how dirty we become from our sinful, wicked ways, God says, "I'll scrub you up so much that you're going to be as white as snow." Cleansed.

  43:40-43:41

  Number two, my sin is removed.

  43:42-43:43

  My sin is removed.

  43:43-43:49

  As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgression from us.

  43:51-43:52

  How far is east from west?

  43:54-43:56

  You know why God didn't say as far as the north is from the south? Do you know why?

  43:57-44:02

  Because if you keep going north, eventually you're going to what?

  44:02-44:03

  Start going south, right?

  44:04-44:08

  Anybody have a globe? Anybody have a globe with them? No?

  44:08-44:09

  You have to take my word for it.

  44:09-44:13

  But if you go north far enough, eventually you have no choice but to go south.

  44:13-44:15

  but that's not true east and west.

  44:15-44:18

  You can keep going east eternally.

  44:19-44:24

  And God said, "That's how far your sin's been removed from you." What did John the Baptist say about Jesus?

  44:25-44:35

  "There's a Lamb of God who takes sin away, takes away the sin." So that's how far.

  44:36-44:40

  Like, "Well, he took it in Wexford and he buried it in Harmony." No.

  44:43-44:46

  Far removed. As far as the east is from the west, it's an infinite gap.

  44:49-44:51

  OK, number three, my sin is lost.

  44:54-44:59

  He will again have compassion on us, Micah 719, he will tread our iniquities underfoot.

  44:59-45:00

  Isn't that a great picture?

  45:01-45:04

  God's like got his boots on and he's like, here's Jeff's sin.

  45:04-45:08

  He's like, oh, and he just stomps it into the dirt.

  45:08-45:10

  And I love this next picture even more.

  45:10-45:14

  You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

  45:14-45:16

  Do you understand how awesome that is?

  45:22-45:24

  Aaron and I got married on a cruise.

  45:26-45:26

  But let's play pretend.

  45:27-45:41

  What if on that cruise, I'm standing leaning over the rail in the middle of whatever ocean we were in, And I take my wedding ring off and just start flicking it like a quarter and catching it.

  45:44-45:48

  And then all of a sudden I drop it and it falls into the ocean.

  45:50-45:54

  What are the chances I'm ever going to get that ring back? What are the chances?

  45:58-46:04

  It falls into the ocean. What are the chances I could ever try to get back to that spot?

  46:04-46:09

  And even if I found that spot and went underwater, like how deep's the ocean?

  46:11-46:13

  What are the chances I'm ever going to get that ring back?

  46:16-46:17

  Never, right?

  46:18-46:19

  See, that's what God's saying about our sin.

  46:19-46:25

  He's like, "I'm going to take your sin and just like off the cruise ship, into the ocean." But not just in the ocean.

  46:26-46:33

  God's like, "I'm going to go down to the bottom of the ocean, I'm going to dig a hole, and then I'm going to bury it and cover it over." What are the chances of it ever coming back?

  46:34-46:40

  God says, "That's what I'm doing with your sin. I'm going to cast it into the depths of the sea.

  46:42-46:56

  My sin is forgotten." Number four, "My sin is forgotten. I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." This must be a big deal to God because He said it in the Old Testament and the New Testament.

  46:57-47:10

  "I will remember their sins no more." Okay, so if you're the guy that thinks you've got a lot of explaining to do, I kind of do want to be standing behind you in the line to heaven, whatever that stupid joke is.

  47:11-47:33

  But when you're like, "But God, I did all this, I did all these horrible things." And God's like, "Yeah, I don't remember." "You don't remember? I did this and I did this, and God, I did all these horrible things." And God's like, "Yeah, I He chose not to remember.

  47:36-47:37

  It's not going to come up.

  47:38-47:41

  And then number five, "My sin is pardoned.

  47:43-47:55

  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8.1 There the picture is God is the judge, the trial.

  47:57-47:58

  Your attorney is Jesus Christ.

  48:00-48:09

  And God says, "You are pronounced not guilty." Okay, now who's gonna walk into that courtroom and try to overturn that decision?

  48:11-48:13

  The judge of the universe says you're not guilty.

  48:17-48:19

  Would you dare debate him on that?

  48:20-48:22

  Would you dare question him on that?

  48:23-48:24

  God says you're not guilty.

  48:25-48:28

  Satan will try to convince you that you are.

  48:30-48:37

  Where God has said, "No, in Christ you are not guilty." No condemnation.

  48:42-48:48

  Timothy Keller said, "And the reason for God." When we forgive, do we have that quote up here?

  48:49-48:50

  Yes, thank you.

  48:50-48:56

  When we forgive, we forego our opportunity to return affliction on our perpetrator.

  48:56-49:02

  We assume ourselves the debt of the transgression against us.

  49:06-49:09

  But this is exactly what the Lord God did for us on the cross.

  49:09-49:22

  And if we claim His forgiveness without forgiving others, while remaining petty, grudge-holding people, then we do not fully understand the cross, and we retain upon ourselves the death penalty for our sins.

  49:26-49:28

  Do you understand the cross?

  49:29-49:32

  Because if you do, forgiven people do what?

  49:34-49:34

  Forgive.

  49:35-49:41

  So today, today, some of you might need to make a phone call.

  49:43-50:09

  Some of you might need to, maybe it's a matter of sending an email or a text message to say, "Hey, you know what? I'd like to talk." Just to get the door open to say, "Look, I know things haven't been okay between us, and I'd love to talk to you about that. Is there some time this week that we can get together?" You need to start that process today. It's time to clear the books.

  50:12-50:18

  It's time to settle accounts. Because forgiven people forgive.

  50:23-50:29

  And our forgiveness is remembered by the Lord's table.

  50:29-50:35

  If our ushers would come forward and our worship team would come up, we're going to close our service by taking the Lord's Supper.

  50:39-51:10

  And I'd like to remind you at the Lord's Supper, Remember, this isn't a matter of God just saying, "I'm just going to erase the debt." The crucifixion of Jesus Christ is God saying, "I will pay the debt that you owe me."

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Matthew 18:21-35

Breakout Questions:
Pray for one another.