- I want to forgive because I live Debt-free (Phm 1:19)
- I want to forgive because it Blesses others. (Phm 1:20-21)
- I want to forgive because I will be held Accountable. (Phm 1:22-24)
- I want to forgive because that is what Christ. (Phm 1:25)
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:00-00:09
Look at Philemon with me, chapter 1, and we're going to be picking up in verse 19.
00:09-00:11
You were in chapter 2, weren't you?
00:16-00:26
Look at verse 19, Paul says, "I, Paul, write this with my own hand." A lot of times in Paul's letter, he had somebody else write.
00:26-00:29
he would sort of dictate and he'd have somebody else do the writing for him.
00:33-00:42
But Paul here is saying, "Philemon, I'm writing this." And you sense the personal touch here, right?
00:43-00:50
There's a difference between getting a typed form letter in the mail and a handwritten card in the mail, isn't there?
00:50-00:51
Isn't there a difference?
00:52-00:54
That's what Paul's saying here, like, "I'm writing this.
00:55-00:56
I'll write this with my own hand.
00:57-00:58
I will repay it.
00:59-01:10
That piggybacks off of verse 18, a verse that most scholars believe is teaching that it looks as if Onesimus, when he ran away from Philemon, he stole some money.
01:12-01:13
And here Paul is saying, "Does he owe you money?
01:15-01:15
I'll pay you back.
01:16-01:16
Okay?
01:17-01:23
I'll pay you back." To say nothing of your owing me, even your own self.
01:24-01:31
Whoa. To say nothing of your owing me, even your own self.
01:33-01:34
So here's where we're going today.
01:35-01:37
Earlier, you told me you don't want to forgive.
01:38-01:39
And I said, yeah, you do.
01:40-01:41
And here's why.
01:41-01:43
Number one, I want to forgive because I live debt free.
01:45-01:47
Because I live debt free.
01:49-01:55
Verse 19, we see that Onesimus owed Philemon a material debt.
01:57-02:13
And Paul says to Philemon, "You owe me a spiritual debt." Onesimus owed Philemon a temporal debt, and Paul says, "Hey, Philemon, you owe me an eternal debt.
02:14-02:15
You owe me your life.
02:15-02:25
What's he talking about?" Well, Paul, through ministering the gospel, was pouring into Philemon, and Philemon probably came to Christ through Paul's ministry.
02:28-02:37
So Paul says, "If owing somebody something is still the issue on the table, Philemon, I want to remind you of something.
02:40-02:50
You owe me your very life." So if we're playing the you owe me game, you might wanna check yourself on that.
02:52-02:53
By the way, that is the world's way, right?
02:54-02:58
You owe me, you owe me, you owe me.
03:00-03:11
And without getting all political, we have never seen the sense of entitlement in our country that we see today, true or false?
03:13-05:37
true. The sense of entitlement right now is just appalling. That it's at the point that we expect the government to hand over things to us, which by the way, show me biblically where it's the government's job to reward irresponsibility. That's another sermon. But now the people that do work and innovate and earn are looked that as the villains. How dare you? But this sense of entitlement mentality, "You owe me, you owe me, you owe me, I don't need to work, the government will pay my bills, I don't need to pay my student loans, we'll get the government to do that, I don't need to pay for the house that I bought beyond my means, the government will bail me out." Well, this "you owe me" philosophy is not going to work in our country. It's not going to work financially in our country, but it's not going to work spiritually in the church either. And this is what Paul was reminding Philemon of. As Philemon was, you know, as Paul was anticipating the the argument that Philemon would have, "But Onesimus owes me, he owes me, he owes me, he owes me," and Paul's like, "Really? Let's talk about owing people stuff. Do we live that way?" Well, the truth is, church, we live in a culture of debt. I want you to think about that in the church. There's a sense in which you could say you owe something to everyone. To the people who give time and money and talents, there's a sense in which you could say we owe those people. I think of our worship team up here, you know, Sammy and Laura and Darren and Jay, I look at these people up here and say, "You know what? I owe them something." Because they have invested time and money and resources and talent and energy into facilitating a time where I can come and worship the Lord thanks to them. So there's a sense in which I sort of owe them something, and so do you, by the way.
05:41-06:52
To the people that pour into you, the leadership, your small group leader, and If we're gonna start collecting debts, I want you to think of the one that you owe me. So we don't live in a culture of debt, listen church, we live in a culture of grace. We live in a culture of grace, and we do what we do for Jesus Christ, not to repay people. You understand that? We don't do what we do here because I owe I'm gonna do this. Okay, now I owe you one, so I'm gonna do this." We live in a culture of grace. We do what we do because of Jesus Christ, for Jesus Christ, and empowered by Jesus Christ. Amen? So Ken Frederick comes up to me and he says, "You know what, Jeff? I'm going to redo the lobby for you." And my answer is, "No, No you're not.
06:54-07:04
So what, like if I drop over dead this afternoon, Ken's like, "I'm not going to redo the lobby now." You're not doing it for me, you're doing it for Jesus Christ.
07:07-07:12
Or somebody coming to visit today says, "You know what, this seems like a nice thing, Jeff, I'm going to give you some money." No you're not.
07:15-07:16
You're not doing it for me.
07:19-07:24
This is for the work of Christ, and it's because of Christ, and for Christ, and empowered by Christ.
07:25-07:26
We live in a culture of grace.
07:30-07:35
I've invested the Word of God into you, so how could you pay me back for that?
07:35-07:36
Think about that.
07:37-07:38
What do I invest into you?
07:39-07:48
Every week, by God's grace, and under God's authority, by God's authority, I stand up and say, "This is what the God of the universe has said." Do you know what God thinks?
07:49-07:50
Do you know what God's saying to his church?
07:50-07:52
Do you know what God's calling to his people?
07:53-07:54
This is it.
07:55-07:56
How could you pay me back for that?
07:57-08:07
Like I baked you a banana nut loaf because you shared the eternal word of the sovereign holy God with me, but it's really good banana nut loaf.
08:07-08:16
And I just, look, give me some banana bread, but it's not because you owe me anything, right?
08:17-08:20
We don't live in that mentality, and that's what Paul's saying here.
08:22-08:23
We don't live that way, Philemon.
08:23-08:24
You shouldn't live that way.
08:25-08:28
Grace keeps our focus where it needs to be.
08:30-08:33
So I wanna forgive because I live debt-free.
08:34-08:35
I live debt-free.
08:38-08:40
Secondly, I wanna forgive because it blesses others.
08:42-08:44
I wanna forgive because it blesses others.
08:45-08:47
Look at verse 20 and 21 with me.
08:49-08:54
Paul says, "Yes, brother, "I want some benefit from you in the Lord.
08:56-08:58
"Refresh my heart in Christ.
09:00-09:18
"Confident of your obedience, I write to you knowing "that you will do even more than I say." Interestingly, excuse me, this word for benefit, The Greek word for benefit is the same word from which we get the name Onesimus.
09:19-09:21
So that's like twice in the book of Philemon.
09:21-09:23
Paul's doing these little word games here.
09:24-09:30
Quite the wordsmith the apostle Paul, playing games with Onesimus, which means useful.
09:30-09:39
And here he says, "I want to get some benefit from you, some anonymi from you," where we get Onesimus.
09:41-09:48
I thought about that, you know, what did the Apostle Paul have to gain by Philemon forgiving Onesimus?
09:48-09:49
What did he have to gain from that?
09:51-09:59
There's a sense in which you could say, Paul could have said to him, "You can forgive him or not forgive him, that doesn't matter to me.
09:59-09:59
You know what?
10:01-10:04
You forgive Philemon, I'm going to wake up in jail tomorrow again anyways.
10:05-10:08
You don't forgive him, I wake up in jail again tomorrow anyways.
10:10-10:11
It doesn't matter to me.
10:13-10:17
You know what, I'm still going to maybe probably eat tomorrow, the sun's still going to come up.
10:21-10:27
You can forgive him or not forgive him, makes no difference to me, but Paul certainly didn't seem to have that sense, did he?
10:31-10:47
He says, "Refresh my heart in Christ." There's a sense in which the Apostle Paul was going to reap some sort of personal benefit from Philemon forgiving Ernestus?
10:48-10:49
What's that all about?
10:50-10:51
Do you know what that's all about?
10:54-10:59
One time when I was at the gym a few years ago, it wasn't the last time I was at the gym.
11:02-11:03
I know some of you were thinking that.
11:05-11:29
So I'm at the gym and I'm at this machine doing these tricep pulldowns and it was right beside the soda machine, I know, it was a gym that had a soda machine, and there's a TV on top of it so I'm doing these tricep pulldowns and I'm just like me and one of our worship leaders sort of have this in common, when there's a TV on we get very distracted.
11:30-12:48
kind of watching this TV and doing these tricep pulldowns when all of the sudden on my way down the cable snaps. Right? And my hands hit this other bar that was on the machine full force with that cable snapping. Well one finger really took the blow. Which one was it? It was a while ago. I think it was this one. Really turned like green. And as much as I'd hoped that the fingernail was not going to fall off, it did. So I go to the hospital. Well, I was just being Mr. Macho about it. I'm like, "It's fine, it's fine." Meanwhile, it was like the size of a can of Loop. I'm like, "It's fine." Aaron's like, "You're going to the hospital." Fine. So I go the hospital and they admit me into the emergency room and I go in and the nurse goes, "Let me see that." She's like, "Yeah, we're gonna have to put a hole in that nail." And I'm like, true story, is it gonna hurt?
12:54-13:23
Much like it hurt when I fell off the turnip truck. But I'm like, "Is it gonna hurt. She grabs my arm and sort of puts my arm in this headlock thing and she's like yeah it's gonna hurt and pulls out this pen looking thing that has a red hot poker on the end. You medical people, you know I'm talking about? Have you ever seen this thing? How many people know what I'm talking about? This little pen thing that, okay the tip turns orange and she's like and you know Butler Armstrong in Allegheny County heard me yell?
13:25-13:28
Well my point in all of this is simply this.
13:29-13:37
When I mashed my finger on that machine, there was only one thing I could think about.
13:40-13:41
Guess what it was?
13:42-13:45
It was that giant nasty green throbbing finger.
13:45-13:46
I could not think of anything.
13:47-13:58
I wasn't thinking of asthma issues or allergy issues or, oh, I could use a haircut or, you know, do these shorts match this shirt or...
13:58-13:59
I was only thinking about one thing.
14:01-14:12
And even at the time when it happened, I remember being at the Cub's all just walking around like, "Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow." And people would come in and just want to talk to me, "Hey, Jeff, what are you up to?" Like, "Nothing." And they didn't...
14:12-14:13
They had no idea what was going on.
14:14-14:15
They're like, "What do you think about these penguins?
14:15-14:22
Are they going to turn it around?" and I'm like, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know." I couldn't think about anything else, why?
14:23-14:29
You know the Bible says when one part of the body is suffering, what?
14:30-14:31
The whole body's suffering.
14:33-14:35
When one part rejoices, the whole body rejoices.
14:38-14:43
But the point is this, at that point in my life, my whole body was one giant finger.
14:46-14:51
And there was a sense in which my whole body was hurting through the finger.
14:54-14:55
And so it goes in the church.
14:56-15:01
Honoring Jesus Christ never just blesses the one doing it, or even just the direct recipient.
15:06-15:08
There's a benefit that comes to the whole body.
15:10-15:18
And you know how it is when there are pockets of problems in the church and these people don't like these people and this guy's mad at this guy.
15:18-15:20
It weighs on the leadership.
15:21-15:25
I guarantee you the leadership isn't going home thinking, "Well, that's their problem.
15:26-15:28
Hopefully they'll get it figured out." It weighs.
15:29-15:31
It weighs down on you.
15:32-15:34
So your forgiveness is going to bless the whole church.
15:35-15:39
The whole church is either hurting with your unforgiveness or is being blessed by your forgiveness.
15:40-15:41
Which do you want to do?
15:43-15:44
Like, "I don't want to forgive." Yeah, you do.
15:46-15:47
You want to live debt-free, don't you?
15:48-15:50
You want to bless others, don't you?
15:50-15:54
Well, thirdly, I want to forgive because I will be held accountable.
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I will be held accountable.
15:57-15:59
Look at verses 22 through 24 here.
16:01-16:58
says, "At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers, I will be graciously given to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers." Here's another reason you want to forgive. I want to forgive because I'll be held accountable. Now forgiveness doesn't mean we don't hold people accountable. We talked about that back in week one. Because forgiving people forgive, that doesn't mean that when somebody sins we don't hold them accountable for that. But that's not what we're talking about here. What we're talking about here is I am accountable to others to forgive. The Apostle Paul Paul was expecting to be released at this point.
16:59-17:01
And do you see what he tells Philemon?
17:02-17:14
He says, "I'm hoping through your prayers I will be graciously given to you." Paul was basically saying, "Pray that I get released." Well Philemon could hardly pray for that if he didn't forgive Onesimus.
17:16-20:23
That's why Paul in verse 22 says, "Prepare a guest room for me." says, "I'm coming." And it's not a threat, but this was a reminder to Philemon. He says, "I'm coming." And you know what Philemon was thinking? If I haven't forgiven Onesimus, guess what Paul's gonna want to talk about? Right? You think that was in his mind? I'm gonna be face-to-face with Paul? Hey Philemon, how's it going? "Hey Paul, how about them penguins? You think they're gonna turn it around? Tell me about Onesimus." "Yeah, you know, we've been just having a lot of weather lately and I just..." "Tell me about Onesimus. Tell me about that relationship." So it was not a threat but a reminder. You're accountable. You're accountable. So is that really any of your business? Well, Hebrews 13, 17 says, obey your leaders and submit to them for they are keeping watch over your souls as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." That's why sometimes pastors and elders have to have those hard conversations. Believe me, I've been in many situations over the past 15 years where I'm driving thinking I don't want to have this conversation with this guy, but I have to. I know this guy and I have dealt with this issue before, but I got to talk to him about it. Why? Because the Bible says that I'm an overseer of souls, and I take that very seriously. So if there's work that needs done, we need to work on it. So notice it's not just Paul he's held accountable to. He gives the list here, and you know, oftentimes Paul does give a list, but again, I really believe that Philemon, when he read this list, he knew these people. So he's like, "Well, Paul's going to be asking me about the whole Anesimus thing, but who else is going to be asking me about it? How about all these people that said hi. Epaphras, Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, Philemon's like, "These are other guys that I'm gonna be accountable to." So that's what we do is we watch each other's backs. We watch each other's backs and those of you who are in a small group, and we want everybody involved in a small group, but those of you who are in a small group, and specifically the leaders, don't be afraid to have those hard conversations when you have breakout time. When you sit down and say, "Hey, let's talk about this area, whether it's a blind spot or an area of weakness. We need to pray about this. We need to talk about this." And so often we shy away from that stuff.
20:25-20:28
But we are biblically responsible to watch each other's backs.
20:30-20:34
I want to forgive because I will be held accountable by others.
20:36-20:40
And then finally, I want to forgive because that is what Christ wants.
20:42-20:52
One last verse, but this isn't just like, Paul's like, "Oh, I can't just end with the list thing.
20:52-21:17
I've got to say something nice at the end." Look at what he says, "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit." The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
21:18-21:23
So the last thing here is I want to forgive because that is what Christ wants.
21:24-21:26
Unforgiveness is not possible in the flesh.
21:26-21:29
Actually unforgiveness is an attitude of the flesh.
21:30-21:33
And through this series we've seen a lot of appeals to forgive.
21:34-21:44
It's because you love people, it's because you belong to the fellowship, it's because you want to restore value in a person, you want to remove bitterness, but this is the last and probably the strongest appeal.
21:47-21:50
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
21:57-21:58
You know God has some goals for you.
22:00-22:01
Actually a goal for you.
22:01-22:02
Do you know what God's goal is for you?
22:04-22:08
Romans 8 29 very clearly says what God's goal is for every believer.
22:10-24:34
wants to conform you into the image of his Son. God's Holy Spirit has taken up residence within you to work on this single goal. Every day, more and more, to grow you to become more like Jesus Christ. That's his goal. So God is doing this by the power of His Spirit. And the question for you is, are you willing to yield your will to allow God's Holy Spirit to do what he wants to do in you, because your spirit is going to be restless until you allow him to do the work of grace that he wants to do through you. You can fight against it. You can continue to persistently make hard-hearted choices against what he's calling you to do, but with all the love that I can muster, I want to tell you this, you're gonna lose. He who began a good work in you, what? Is he gonna be faithful to complete it? God doesn't start something he doesn't finish. So listen, loved ones, believers in Christ, if you have this issue of unforgiveness with someone, the Holy Spirit is not going to let you rest until that is resolved. So my encouragement to you is to yield your will. To say, "God, this is clearly what you want for me, and God, I'm sorry that this hasn't been what I've wanted for me." But I realize now, Father, that when it gets down to these matters of my will versus your will, may your will be done.
24:38-24:58
So I don't want to forgive. Yeah, you do. Because I want to live debt-free. I want to bless others. I want people to encourage me to do the right thing, and I want Jesus Christ to have his work accomplished in me.
Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Philemon 1:19-25
Breakout Questions:
Pray for one another.