Introduction:
How to Figure Out if You're Being THAT Guy:
- Do You Fail to Recognize that You Have Blind spots ?
Job 42:7 - "My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has."
Job 42:8 - "For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has."
- By assuming God's Plan and People's Motives .
Read more: Job 5:27, Job 15:9-10, Job 13:7
1 Samuel 16:7 - "For the LORD sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
- By having Unbiblical and Unhelpful Convictions.
Read more Job 4:7-9, Job 8:4
Job 11:6 - "Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves."
Job 4:7 - "Remember: who that was innocent ever perished? Or where were the upright cut off?"
2 Corinthians 5:21 - For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
1 John 3:5 - You know that He appeared in order to take away sins, and in Him there is no sin.
1 Peter 3:18 - For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God.
- By assuming God's Plan and People's Motives .
- Do You Mean Well but Fail to Cmfort Well .
- By talking Way Too Much .
Read more: Job 16:2-3, Job 13:5
- By saying the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time.
- By saying the Right Thing in the Wrong Way.
Read more Job 6:14
Isaiah 42:2-3 - He will not cry aloud or lift up His voice or make it heard in the street; a bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench.
- By talking Way Too Much .
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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01:12-01:15
All right, so you can turn your Bibles to the book of Job chapter 3.
01:15-01:16
Chapter 3.
01:18-01:23
You know, growing up, my friends and I would pour over the Guinness Book of World Records in the school library.
01:23-01:26
Did anybody else love reading those massive books?
01:27-01:27
Very few of you.
01:28-01:29
Very few of you are weird like me.
01:30-01:35
We would be amazed by the sometimes cool and gross accomplishments that people could do.
01:35-01:37
The amazing things that people were capable of.
01:38-01:43
and we daydreamed of how we could get into the Guinness Book of World Records.
01:44-01:48
Well, it took me 34 years, I'm about to break a record.
01:49-01:55
I'm about to make harvest and personal history this morning, and you're all here to witness it.
01:55-01:56
Aren't you so excited?
01:58-02:14
All right, typically, we preach several verses, maybe even a chapter if we're feeling brave, but my assigned task this morning is to cover 29 chapters in the book of Job as we continue our latest series, Making Sense of Suffering.
02:15-02:17
I know the Steelers are playing at 1 p.m.
02:17-02:21
I really hope you weren't planning on watching that because we're gonna be really busy.
02:22-02:25
You better crack your knuckles and do your stretches 'cause we're about to get after it.
02:26-02:34
All right, before you start getting claustrophobic and looking for the nearest exit, I cannot possibly cover 724 verses in one sermon.
02:35-02:40
I mean, I can try it if you want me to, but I'm probably gonna do the overview aspect instead.
02:40-02:43
Who wants the overview sermon instead of the verse-by-verse sermon?
02:44-02:46
I don't know, some people seem to want the verse-by-verse sermon.
02:46-02:47
Well, I didn't prepare for that.
02:47-02:51
I wasn't expecting that answer, so we're gonna go with the overview approach instead.
02:52-02:54
So let's stop to ask God for his help.
02:55-03:04
Please pray for me that I will faithfully proclaim the truth of God's word, and I will pray for you that you faithfully receive and submit the truth of God's word.
03:05-03:05
Let's pray.
03:07-03:15
Father, we come to you and we thank you once again for this awesome opportunity to gather as your people, to worship you and to hear your word.
03:16-03:22
Father, I pray that you would preach a much better sermon this morning in our hearts than I ever could with my mouth.
03:22-03:27
Lord, I pray that you would comfort us, you would challenge us, Lord, you would encourage us and you would build us up.
03:28-03:36
We thank you that you watch over your word to perform it and that when your word goes out, it will accomplish the purpose for which you sent it.
03:37-03:43
We thank you in advance for what you are going to do, and we ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.
03:44-03:48
So last week, we left Job at his lowest moment.
03:49-03:59
Everything has been taken away from him, and he is left in the town dump, scratching himself with pottery as he is covered in sores.
04:00-04:07
At the end of chapter two, Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, show up on the scene to comfort their suffering friend.
04:09-04:15
And we're told that they sit with him for a week straight in silence, not saying a single word.
04:16-04:17
That's a great decision.
04:18-04:23
They weep loudly, they cover themselves with dust, and they rip their clothes.
04:25-04:31
Job then breaks the ice by opening up about the deep despair that he is experiencing on the inside.
04:32-04:41
And then the seven day wisdom streak comes to a crashing halt as these guys open up their mouths to give their takes on Job's suffering.
04:42-04:54
The main reason we are covering such a large chunk of chapters in one sermon is due to the fact that most of these verses are filled with unhelpful advice from Job's three friends.
04:55-05:01
And you may be thinking, how can we be so sure that their advice is unhelpful?
05:02-05:07
Well, they do say some true and right things, but very often they share half truths.
05:07-05:11
And we have to understand that half truths are whole lies.
05:12-05:18
But we can be 100% certain this morning that their advice is unhelpful because the Bible tells us so.
05:18-05:21
I love it when God makes it so easy for us.
05:21-05:30
Quick spoiler, as we jump ahead in the story for a minute, God gives Eliphaz a Dutch uncle talk at the very end of Job in chapter 42, verse seven.
05:30-05:43
He says, "My anger burns against you "and against your two friends, "for you have not spoken to me what is right "as my servant Job has." Could God be any clearer that these guys messed up big time?
05:44-05:48
Instead of helping their hurting friend, they pour salt into his wounds.
05:49-05:58
And God then commands these bad friends to go and make a burnt offering for their sinful words and to have Job pray for them.
05:59-06:03
And God then once again repeats why they must repent in verse eight.
06:04-06:09
For you have not spoken of me what is right as my servant Job has.
06:10-06:13
God hates it when you take words out of his mouth.
06:15-06:18
God hates it when you put words into his mouth.
06:18-06:26
God is not pleased when you give bad counsel when you cause a sufferer to experience even more suffering.
06:28-06:30
Here's another preaching verse for me this morning.
06:31-06:32
I'm not really gonna tell you what to do.
06:33-06:41
And before you start getting really excited saying, oh, this is gonna be a nice, comfortable, fluffy message, well, remember, we're in the book of Job, so light and fluffy isn't really listed on the menu.
06:43-06:45
Sure, I promise I'm not really gonna tell you what to do this morning.
06:45-06:48
Instead, we're gonna focus on what you should never do.
06:49-07:00
Pastor Jeff's gonna pick up the baton for me next week we're gonna focus on the positive command of do this, but this morning we're gonna zero in on the negative command of don't do that.
07:02-07:05
When it comes to helping sufferers, I don't want you to be like Job's friends.
07:06-07:15
You don't wanna be that guy or that girl who makes things worse and not better for those that you love who are struggling.
07:16-07:23
But the problem is none of us this morning think or that guy, or that gal, as my dad would say.
07:24-07:27
We all think that we're doing just fine in this area of life.
07:27-07:35
We all think we're super comforting, super understanding, really loving, Taylor, everybody else in this room probably needs to hear it, but I'm doing great.
07:37-07:38
Are you sure about that?
07:39-07:46
Is it possible that you're misjudging your own heart and giving yourself way too much credit?
07:47-07:53
Is it possible that you need more help with helping than you realize?
07:54-08:02
So for the rest of this message, please choose to be brutally honest with yourself as you figure out if you're being that guy or that girl.
08:04-08:07
So our outline for this morning, how to figure out if you're being that guy.
08:08-08:13
And the first question we're gonna ask is, do you fail to recognize that you have blind spots?
08:14-08:18
Do you fail to recognize that you have blind spots?
08:20-08:24
And these 29 chapters follow a very similar pattern.
08:24-08:27
There are three cycles of heated debate and discussion.
08:28-08:37
As I mentioned already, Job kicks off the conversation by popping the hood and showing his friends what he is feeling on the inside.
08:37-08:40
He is so down the dumps that he doesn't curse God.
08:41-08:42
Job never does that.
08:43-08:45
He curses the day he was born.
08:47-08:51
Just listen to some of what he has to say in chapter three, verse 11 through 16.
08:52-08:57
Job says, "Why did I not die at birth, "come out from the womb and expire?
08:57-09:01
"Why did the knees receive me, "or why the breasts that I should nurse?
09:01-09:03
"For then I would have lain down and been quiet.
09:03-09:20
"I would have slept, then I would have been at rest, "with kings and counselors of the earth, "who rebuilt ruins for themselves, "or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver, or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child as infants who never see the light?
09:22-09:26
The word depression doesn't even seem to touch what Job is experiencing here.
09:27-09:31
He is in this dark pit, and he can't see any light whatsoever.
09:33-09:47
And then Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, or the three stooges, as I like to call them, pile on and make matters even worse by giving long speeches to explain why they think Job's life has exploded into a million tiny pieces.
09:49-09:59
And after each speech, Job responds to what they had to say until in chapter 26 where he's fed up and he gives himself a six chapter long defense of himself.
09:59-10:04
He puts a bow on the entire conversation and shuts his friends up.
10:05-10:07
Because in Job's mind, he didn't do anything wrong.
10:08-10:14
to justify the horrible things that have happened to his family, his livelihood, and even his own body.
10:16-10:31
And as you read through the lengthy monologues of the three Stooges, it becomes crystal clear that these men fail to recognize two glaring blind spots in their own theology, their own hearts, and their counsel to Job.
10:33-10:44
So do you fail to recognize you have blind spots, letter A on your outline, by assuming God's plans and people's motives, by assuming God's plans and people's motives.
10:48-10:50
Have you ever met a know-it-all?
10:51-10:55
Don't nod or point to the person next to you if they're a know-it-all.
10:56-10:58
Maybe you're not shaking your head, thinking I don't know any know-it-alls.
10:58-11:00
I have some bad news for you.
11:00-11:03
You might be the know-it-all in your family or your friend group.
11:03-11:06
You can ask for confirmation later after the service is over.
11:07-11:16
We all know those people who are always ready to correct, who are always ready to insert their opinions, who always point out the flaws in everything.
11:17-11:29
When you say something, they respond by saying, "Actually, they're always ready to pounce "on what you have to say." And that is exactly how Job's three friends act in these chapters.
11:29-11:35
They assume that they fully understand the mind of God in the heart of Job.
11:36-11:44
At the end of his first lecture in chapter five, verse 27, Eliphaz lays out his credentials and explains why Job should listen to him.
11:45-11:47
He said, "Behold, this we have searched out.
11:47-11:58
"It is true, hear and know it for your good." Chapter 15, verses nine through 10, Eliphaz gets really fired up that Job isn't responding to their advice.
11:58-12:01
He says, "What do you know that we do not know?
12:02-12:16
"What do you understand that is not clear to us, "both the gray-haired and the aged are among you, "older than your father." In other words, Job, who are you to disagree with us?
12:16-12:21
We're older, we're wiser, just sit down, shut up, and listen.
12:24-12:27
You can't miss the air of arrogance there, right?
12:27-12:30
You can't miss the know-it-all attitude.
12:31-12:39
And this overconfidence leads them to take some wild swings at Job's character, which we'll talk about more in a few minutes.
12:39-12:44
This overconfidence leads them to think way too highly of themselves.
12:45-12:51
And without even realizing it, they put themselves in the place of God himself.
12:53-12:56
And Job calls this out in chapter 13, verse seven.
12:57-13:03
He says, "Will you speak falsely for God and speak deceitfully for him.
13:05-13:18
As I was meditating upon this verse this past week, I couldn't help but think back to 2005 and the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, when so many professing Christians put their foot completely in their mouths.
13:18-13:32
After this devastating hurricane hits New Orleans, all these radio preachers, all these televangelists say they know exactly why this hurricane hit New Orleans, because of the homosexual community that lives there.
13:33-13:39
In their minds, there is no arguing that this is exactly why this tragedy took place.
13:42-13:54
Listen, we spent two months recently walking through the Book of Micah and studying the reality that our country has been experiencing the consequences of rejecting God and pursuing evil.
13:54-13:55
There is no denying that.
13:57-14:06
But we cannot make unwise assumptions and unproven declarations about things that God has not clearly revealed in his word.
14:08-14:14
My main question to those people who definitively declared why Hurricane Katrina happened has always been the same.
14:14-14:16
How do you know that?
14:17-14:18
Who told you that?
14:19-14:21
Did God invite you to a secret council meeting in heaven?
14:22-14:24
Did he send you an angel, Graham?
14:25-14:25
No?
14:25-14:27
Then stop talking about it.
14:28-14:31
Stop saying things that God did not clearly say.
14:31-14:35
Stop puffing yourself up and start humbling yourself.
14:37-14:39
Stop being a know-it-all because no one likes a know-it-all.
14:41-14:45
But unfortunately, all of us struggle with being know-it-alls more than we care to admit.
14:47-14:56
We all need to do some soul searching this morning and do the hard work of asking others to point out our blind spots because we can't see them in and of ourselves.
14:58-15:05
You know, I sometimes can make wrong assumptions about why God chose to do something or why he didn't choose to do something.
15:06-15:11
As if I have the right, as if I have the intelligence to make such a judgment call.
15:13-15:25
I can sometimes judge the heart of someone else and assume their motives, Even though scripture makes it so clear in 1 Samuel 16, seven, the Lord sees not as man sees.
15:26-15:31
Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
15:33-15:39
When someone irritates me, when someone annoys me, I can think, oh, they're just trying to get, they're trying to get under my skin.
15:40-15:43
They don't respect me, and they're just trying to really just stick it to me.
15:46-15:52
a family member or a friend is moping around and I think to myself, they don't always wanna be the center of attention.
15:53-15:55
You know, they're probably not even struggling, they probably just want me to ask them what's wrong.
15:56-15:59
I'm just so tired of playing their games 'cause their heart is not in the right place.
16:02-16:08
I can judge someone else's heart, but fail to see that my heart is in trouble and should be my primary concern.
16:09-16:18
My desire to be right, my desire to justify myself, causes me to assume the worst of others and treat them very poorly.
16:21-16:23
Does anyone else ever assume the motives of other people?
16:25-16:27
Do you ever think that you know someone else's heart?
16:30-16:42
If we truly wanna help other people, especially those who are suffering, we must have a posture of humility and compassion and not a posture of pride and cold-heartedness.
16:43-16:49
You will not be able to help anyone with anything until you realize that you are not that smart.
16:51-17:00
You will not understand people and their problems until you grasp the truth that people and their problems are far more complex than they first appear.
17:03-17:06
The more mature you become, the more immature you should find yourself.
17:07-17:12
The more you learn, the more you should realize how little you actually know.
17:14-17:17
So do you fail to recognize you have blind spots?
17:17-17:22
Letter B on your outline, by having unbiblical and unhelpful convictions.
17:23-17:27
By having unbiblical and unhelpful convictions.
17:29-17:35
You know, during my time at Geneva College, I was one of the leaders of an on-campus ministry called Upper Room.
17:35-17:40
I'll never forget this one particular meeting, I had to lead a breakout prayer group.
17:40-17:44
and I asked everyone in the group to share their prayer requests.
17:46-17:52
And one guy said something that stopped me completely in my tracks and froze me up 'cause I didn't really know what to say.
17:53-17:59
He said, "You know, I've really had this burden "on my heart lately to pray for Satan.
18:00-18:03
"He is just so lost and headed for destruction.
18:03-18:08
"We should pray for his salvation." Pause the story for a minute.
18:09-18:11
Has anyone ever heard that prayer request before?
18:12-18:14
Okay, that was a first and a last for me.
18:14-18:18
You can see why at 20 years old I was like, I have no idea what to say here.
18:21-18:23
Okay, press play on the story again.
18:23-18:35
And so I finally gather my thoughts, after really not knowing what to say, and I told this guy as lovingly, yet gently as I could, that Satan is unredeemable, and we shouldn't waste our breath praying for that jerk.
18:38-18:40
He is God's enemy and that's not gonna change.
18:42-18:45
It was glaringly obvious that this guy wasn't taught very well.
18:45-18:48
And he had some very bad theology.
18:50-18:55
You know, bad thinking will always come out of your mouth in bad speaking.
18:56-19:01
His bad theology led him to give some very bad counsel to the prayer group.
19:01-19:04
I had to shot block it to protect everybody in the group.
19:06-19:08
And we see this happen with Job's friends.
19:08-19:12
Bad theology leading to bad counseling.
19:13-19:24
They had very bad theology when it came to suffering in general, which led them to give very bad counsel to Job in the midst of his suffering.
19:26-19:31
Their distortive view of suffering can be broken down into two sides of the same coin.
19:31-19:32
Make sure to write this down.
19:33-19:42
All success is a result of your obedience, and all suffering is a result of your sin.
19:43-19:43
We say it again.
19:44-19:53
All success is a result of your obedience, and all suffering is a result of your sin.
19:56-20:04
And there is no better way to summarize the bad theology of the three stooges than to read chapter four, verses seven through nine.
20:04-20:06
Listen to what Eliphaz has to ask Job.
20:08-20:13
Remember who that was innocent ever perished, or where were the upright cut off?
20:13-20:17
As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.
20:18-20:23
By the breath of God they perish, and by the blast of his anger they are consumed.
20:24-20:28
In other words, Job, buddy, you believe the same things that we do.
20:28-20:33
You know that good people do not have bad things like this happen to them.
20:34-20:38
You must have done something to deserve it.
20:41-20:45
Bildad really crosses the line and goes to the jugular in chapter eight, verse four.
20:47-20:48
Can't imagine saying this to a friend.
20:49-20:55
If your children have sinned against God, he has delivered them into the hand of their transgressions.
20:57-21:01
In other words, Job, your kids died because they sinned against God.
21:01-21:03
They got what they deserve.
21:03-21:05
There is no other explanation.
21:06-21:08
What a loving and caring friend.
21:10-21:15
And then Zophar steps up to the plate to offer this doozy in chapter 11, verse six.
21:15-21:22
"Know then that God exacts of you "less than your guilt deserves." Job, you think this is bad?
21:22-21:23
You deserve way worse.
21:24-21:26
God should have done more to you.
21:29-21:35
To Job's three friends, the formula for success and suffering is very simple and it can't be argued with.
21:36-21:39
The equation is like two plus two equals four.
21:40-21:45
Good intentions plus good actions equal success.
21:47-21:51
While bad intentions and bad actions always equal suffering.
21:53-21:58
You know, this theology didn't just end with Job's friends, but it's alive and well today.
22:00-22:07
Do you know that there are pastors and churches in this area that tell you that you are still sick because you don't have enough faith in God?
22:09-22:16
You don't have a lot of money because you don't have confidence, you don't truly believe that God wants you to be abundantly wealthy.
22:17-22:20
You are suffering because your faith is not strong enough.
22:23-22:28
If you do the right thing, God is obligated to give you a life that is all smooth sailing.
22:31-22:35
Please hear me when I say this, that line of thinking is stupid.
22:36-22:41
It is unbiblical, it is overly simplistic, and it is not true.
22:41-22:47
You see in Scripture that all the righteous and holy people suffer the most, not the least.
22:50-22:57
Yes, suffering is always a result of sin, but suffering is not always a result of your own sin.
22:59-23:04
Yes, sometimes you are in pain because you're reaping the consequences of very bad decisions.
23:05-23:12
Your marriage is terrible because you belittle your spouse, because you lust after women online.
23:13-23:15
You get fired from your job because of laziness.
23:16-23:20
You're lonely because you drink way too much and push people away.
23:21-23:23
Who is at fault for that?
23:23-23:25
Who is responsible for that suffering?
23:26-23:28
The person looking right back at you in the mirror.
23:30-23:33
You can also suffer because of other people's sins.
23:34-23:38
You lose out on the big promotion because a coworker lied about you to the boss.
23:39-23:50
Someone that you thought was your best friend stabs you in the back and slanders your good name, and for some reason, everyone believes him or her, even though you did nothing wrong.
23:52-23:55
And finally, you can suffer because of the sinfulness of this broken world.
23:57-24:03
You have a sudden heart attack out of nowhere, even though you never smoked, you ate clean, you worked out your entire life.
24:04-24:09
You lose a loved one due to a car accident, even though they obeyed the rules of the road.
24:10-24:15
You miscarry a child that you deeply love and you pray for.
24:17-24:23
You didn't do anything to bring these things upon yourself, No one else sinned against you either.
24:25-24:29
But the shadow of this fallen world has touched you nonetheless, and you have no idea why.
24:32-24:39
Job's friends failed to consider the complexity of sin and the complexity of this broken world.
24:39-24:44
And this failure led them to adopt some very unbiblical convictions.
24:45-24:49
And unbiblical convictions proved to be unhelpful without exception.
24:51-24:56
And in this case, their unbiblical convictions were aggressively unhelpful.
24:57-25:02
Instead of pulling Job up in love, they push him down with their lies.
25:05-25:06
And here's the problem this morning.
25:07-25:10
These guys were blind to their unbiblical convictions.
25:11-25:15
They were blind to their bad theology, and so were we.
25:16-25:22
If I asked you to raise your hand this morning, if you possess some bad theology, how many hands would go up?
25:23-25:24
Zero, none.
25:25-25:32
But I guarantee that many of you have bad thinking in your minds that is resulting in bad sharing from your mouths.
25:33-25:37
Bad sharing that makes hard situations even harder.
25:37-25:44
Bad sharing that intensifies problems and gives even more pain to already hurting people.
25:46-25:49
This is why you need to grow in your ability to discern.
25:50-25:53
Pastor Jeff has talked about this so much over the past few months.
25:53-25:58
You need to be able to discern what is biblical from that which is unbiblical.
25:59-26:09
This is why you need to be in a small group, to be in community with other believers who can sharpen you and point out your blind spots and point out your unbiblical convictions.
26:10-26:15
This is why you need to be in the word of God every single day and not just on Sundays.
26:17-26:26
There is nothing more dangerous than misinformed and undiscerning Christians who have a passion to share what they think they know.
26:29-26:33
But by God's grace, he's still at work in the midst of our foolishness.
26:35-26:49
I wanna wrap up this point by reevaluating the question that Eliphaz asked Job in chapter four, verse seven, which must have seemed so profound at the time, but should appear very foolish to us as Christians in 2024.
26:49-26:51
Read this with different eyes.
26:52-26:59
Jehovah, remember who that was innocent ever perished or where were the upright cut off.
27:00-27:03
What is the Sunday school answer to this question?
27:04-27:05
Jesus Christ.
27:06-27:08
All right, Aliphaz, when has the righteous ever suffered?
27:09-27:12
When has someone never done anything wrong and have been rejected for it?
27:12-27:13
Oh, I don't know.
27:13-27:14
How about God himself?
27:15-27:21
Jesus Christ is the only innocent and righteous person who has ever walked the face of this planet.
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And yet he willingly perished in our place and on our behalf.
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He was completely upright, but he was cut down and cut off on the cross to save wicked sinners like you and me.
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Scripture makes it so clear.
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2 Corinthians 5, 21, "For our sake he made him, Jesus, "to be no sin, who knew no sin, "so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 1 John 3, 5, "You know that he, Jesus, "appeared in order to take away sins, "and in him there is no sin." 1 Peter 3, 18, "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous that he might bring us to God.
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This question from Eliphaz, which he asked in foolish ignorance, gets to the very heart of the gospel.
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It points to the very heart of our Savior.
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And if you're here this morning and you have not yet turned away from your sin and trusted in Christ for salvation, I am so glad that you're here.
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Now I wanna talk to you for a minute.
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I'm gonna say something that's not very popular nowadays.
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You are not a good person deep down.
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Sorry to break it to you.
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You are not innocent.
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You are not righteous.
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You have sinned against a perfect and holy God.
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You are unrighteous in your thinking, in your speaking, and your living.
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That's the bad news.
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The good news is you can become holy and righteous and innocent in the eyes of God this very moment if you submit to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
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Your list of blameless, your list of blame is endless.
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But the blameless Son of God will wipe it away in a millisecond if you turn to Him for salvation.
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Because apart from Christ, you don't just have blind spots.
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you are completely blind to the truth of God's word and the glories of the cross.
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I've been praying for you all week that the Lord would bring you here this morning, that your spiritual sight would be restored as you look to Christ for the very first time.
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So how to figure out if you're being that guy?
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Second question on our outline today.
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Do you mean well but fail to comfort well?
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Do you mean well but fail to comfort well?
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At this point in the sermon, you may be thinking, Taylor, I don't really relate to Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
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I mean, I have good motivations.
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I don't assume God's plans.
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I don't judge other people's hearts.
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I really think my heart is in the right place, so I don't think I'm being that guy or that girl.
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Well, that's great to hear, but sometimes your right intentions don't translate well into right actions.
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And let me explain it to you this way.
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My almost three-year-old daughter, Emmy, loves to help my wife clean.
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And I use the air quotes very purposefully.
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That girl has such a heart for tidying up the house, but her cleaning leaves a lot to be desired.
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She'll try to help clean up after dinner and she'll rub ketchup into the table.
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She'll get blueberries all throughout her hair somehow.
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Last week I was raking leaves, she just knocked over my bag and ruined all my progress.
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She uses the handheld vacuum, drops it, dust and debris, gets everywhere.
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Emmy's heart is certainly in the right place, but her actual cleaning leaves much to be desired.
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And I think a lot of us are in the same boat as Emmy this morning when it comes to helping those who are suffering.
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Our hearts are in the right place, but our comforting needs a lot of improvement.
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We try to help clean up a very messy situation, but we end up making it even messier in the process.
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So let's get practical by dealing with how we can fail to comfort well.
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Do you mean well to fail to comfort well, letter A, by talking way too much, by talking way too much.
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In chapter 16, verses two through three, Job gets fed up with all of his friends' lectures.
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And he says, "I have heard many such things.
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"Miserable comforters are you all.
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"Shall windy words have an end, "or what provokes that you answer?" In other words, you guys can stop trying to make me feel better because you stink at it.
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How much longer do you have to talk, 'cause I can't stomach much more.
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These guys fell for one of the classic blunders.
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they couldn't keep their mouths shut.
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They lectured far better than they listened.
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They could barely wait for Job to stop talking so that they could start talking.
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You know, some of us in this room or watching online are more reserved and we don't talk a lot.
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And there are others of us who are a bit more chatty and you know exactly who you are.
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And those of us who are more chatty should really listen to what Job has to say in chapter 13, verse five.
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You can make this your life verse for this week.
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Oh that you would keep silent and it would be your wisdom.
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Sometimes the wisest thing to say is nothing.
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This is good advice for any area of life, but especially when it comes to loving those who are walking through the dark valleys of life.
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Do you mean well but fail to comfort well?
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Letter B, by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
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by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
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At this point, you may be thinking, well, Taylor, I can't just be completely silent when comforting someone.
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I have to say something, right?
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We all know that really awkward, uncomfortable moment when someone is grieving, going through a loss, and we have no idea what to say.
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And unintentionally, we can say some very ignorant and unhelpful things.
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Most, not all of us have been on the receiving end of that, and some of us have been on the giving end of that, of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
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A couple with a kid or two finds out they can't biologically have any more children, and a well-meaning relative says, "Well, at least you already have kids." A 60-year-old is diagnosed with a very serious illness, And a well-meaning member of their church says, well, at least you had all those years of health.
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Count your blessings.
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Someone loses their spouse and they feel like half a person now.
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And someone at the funeral says, well, at least you had all those years with your husband or your wife.
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At least they're not suffering anymore.
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Quick poll, are any of these comments helpful on any level?
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No, they are extremely unhelpful.
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If your attempt to comfort starts with at least The least you can do is keep it to yourself.
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And I'm not pointing fingers here.
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I can be guilty of this as well.
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I've recently realized I can be an upsider.
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I try to point out the silver lining in every bad situation.
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I try to point out the upside.
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And sometimes that can be helpful, but other times it can be downright hurtful.
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And I certainly mean well by pointing out the upside.
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but I often don't comfort well by pointing out the upside.
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More often than not, sufferers just need you to sit with them as they experience the downside.
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Acknowledge their grief, agree that the situation is hard and they have every right to be sad.
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If you attend a viewing, if you show up at the hospital, if you're first on scene as a loved one is unraveling, I can guarantee you one thing that Pastor Jeff shared with me years ago.
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They will most likely forget everything that you said, but they will never forget that you were there.
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They need your comforting presence far more than they need your chatty presentations.
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Remember, that's what Job's friends did very well in the very beginning, right?
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They got a gold star for comforting until they opened their mouths to say the wrong things at the wrong time.
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All right, finally, do you mean well but fail to comfort well?
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Let her see by saying the right thing in the wrong way.
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By saying the right thing in the wrong way.
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As I said earlier, Job's friends do say some true and right things, but they often say these true and right things in the completely wrong way.
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Job highlights this in chapter six, verse 14.
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He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
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Even if Job's suffering was a result of his sin, which it wasn't, his friend should have handled him with much more care, consideration, and love.
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Romans 2.4 is very clear that it's God's kindness that leads people to repentance, not our jerkiness.
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Job was like a fragile vase on the verge of breaking and his friends approached him like bulls in a china shop.
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Their tone was very often judgmental, unkind, and impatient.
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And this should serve as a lesson to us that we need to be cautious of not just what we say, but how we say it.
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Our tone, our posture, our faces communicate just as much, if not more, than our words do.
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Let me prove this to you.
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I'm going to say the same thing in three different ways, and you're going to tell me how I come across in each example.
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That sound good?
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We get it?
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All right.
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You ready?
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That's great!
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How did I come across there?
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Positive, happy, excited?
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How about this one?
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That's great.
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What do we think?
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Sarcastic?
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How about this?
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That's great.
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Sad, indifferent, bitter.
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But I said the same exact thing in each of those examples.
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But the way I changed my face, the way I changed my voice totally changes the message that I'm communicating.
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Do you see how easy it is to be misinterpreted, to be misunderstood?
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You don't wanna communicate the wrong thing to someone who is suffering.
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You don't want to come across as uncaring.
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You don't want them to think that you'd rather be anywhere else in the world right now than sitting with me and listening to what I am going through.
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You don't want a good word to be ruined by a bad delivery.
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You don't want to say the right thing in the wrong way.
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Well, as we come to the end of this message, you may feel a bit overwhelmed by how much you tend to be that guy or that girl.
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I know I am overwhelmed by how much I tend to be that guy.
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You may feel like it's hopeless to offer comfort to someone who is struggling.
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You may feel like it's hopeless to make a difference in someone's life who's really in a dark struggle.
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But instead of avoiding sufferers or turning away from their uncomfortable situations, I want to encourage you to run into the arms of your Lord and Savior, who always knows what to say and do.
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Jesus Christ has never been and will never be that guy.
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He knows exactly what you need as you suffer.
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He knows exactly what the people around you need as they suffer.
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Listen to how Jesus is described in Isaiah 42, verses two through three.
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I love these verses.
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He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice or make it heard in the street.
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A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.
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Harvest, Jesus knows how weak we really are.
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We are like brittle branches that are so close to breaking.
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We are like candles that are almost out of wax and one breath away.
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from being extinguished.
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But Christ wraps us with his mighty hand so that hope will not be blown out.
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And the worship team can make their way forward.
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The amazing thing to me is that Jesus wants to use you and me as his agents of peace and comfort in a chaotic and tormented world.
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Jesus wants to share his comfort through you to that family that's been devastated by a suicide or a drug overdose.
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He wants to communicate the truth of his word to that neighbor who is suffering in silence down the street through your faithful witnessing.
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He wants to impress his unconditional love upon that teenager in your house or in this church who feels isolated and depressed through your caring presence.
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Do not turn away from this amazing privilege It's a massive responsibility.
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Realize that you can't do it on your own.
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Without Jesus Christ and growing closer to him, you will continue to be just like Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
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But with Jesus, you can and will delicately handle those who desperately need what only he has to offer.
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Let's pray.
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Father, we come to you.
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We all admit that we contend to be that guy or that girl who makes sufferers experience even more suffering.
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The Lord, we can wrongly assume what you're up to.
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We can judge other people's hearts.
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We can mean well but fail to comfort well.
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Lord, for those of us in this room who are suffering, who are going through the valley of the shadow of death, Lord, may they find the comfort that you alone have to offer.
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And may they find it at Harvest Bible Chapel through your people.
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And may all of us become more like Jesus Christ.
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Help us to lean into him and trust that he will guide us.
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He will lead us, that your Holy Spirit will help us to know what to say and do and what to not say and what not to do.
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And we ask all these things in the name of Jesus Christ.
Small Group Discussion
Covering Job 3-31
What was your big take-away from this passage / message?
How do you see yourself being THAT guy or THAT girl right now when it comes to helping others especially those who suffer?
Why is it so unwise to assume God’s plans and other people’s motives?
What are some unbiblical and unhelpful convictions that many Christians have bought into?
How can you grow in your ability to comfort well?
Breakout
Pray for one another.
