Introduction:
Faithless in Marriage is Faithless to God
Review: Matthew 5:23 | 1 Timothy 3:4-5 | 1 Timothy 5:8
- Because you made a Covenant before God. (Mal 2:10-12)
- Because you are being Joined Together by God. (Mal 2:13-15a)
- Because you have a Purpose for God. (Mal 2:15b-16)
Matthew 19:6 - So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:48-00:50
Turn in your Bibles to the book of Malachi 2.
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It's the last book of the Old Testament.
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While you're turning there, you know, I heard this story of this man who was looking for a job.
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And the only job he could find, which he took because he needed the money, but the only job he could find was painting the yellow lines on the road.
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You're like, "That doesn't sound too bad." They didn't have any machinery for him.
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So when he showed up for work the first day, they gave him a giant bucket of yellow paint and a paintbrush.
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And they said, "Get to work." And he said, "Well, I'm just glad to have a job and earn some money." So he went to work and he showed up to his boss the first day, at the end of the day.
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His boss said, "How much did you get done?" The guy said, "I got about six miles painted today." The boss said, "Six miles? That's incredible!
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"That is fantastic! We'll see you tomorrow." So the man shows up the next day at work and goes right to work.
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He shows up at the end of the day and his boss says, "Well, how many miles did you paint today?" And the guy says, "I got four miles painted today." And the boss says, "Huh, that's still pretty good.
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I mean, it's quite a bit less than yesterday, but that's still pretty good." Well, on the third day, the man shows up to work again at the end of the day.
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He shows up to his boss and his boss says, "Well, how much did you get painted today?" And the man said, "I got about 500 feet painted today." And the boss says, "I'm sorry, but that's just not gonna cut it.
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And I don't understand.
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I don't understand how on the first day you set a record, we're three days into the job and you put out a lousy performance.
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Why in the world is your job performance getting worse and worse and worse every day?" And the guy says, "You know what? I really don't know either.
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I guess it's just because I keep getting further and further away from the bucket." And as a joke, that's mildly funny, but as a metaphor, I think about that often.
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That when we feel distant from God, it's not that God moved, it's that we, by our own choices, are getting ourselves further and further away, and our walks with Him.
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And as we turn to Malachi, we see that Israel had gotten off track again.
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And God called this preacher Malachi to get them back on track.
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That's what we call repentance.
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Repentance literally is a change in your mind that results in a change in your conduct.
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You say, "I was doing this, and God says it's wrong.
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I need to think about it the way God does.
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So if this is wrong, then I need to change my behavior." That's repentance.
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God is saying to Israel through Malachi and to us through His Word today, you need to get back on track.
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Some of us here are not on track with the Lord right now.
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Once upon a time, you had a vibrant and exciting walk with God.
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You saw God at work.
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You loved praying. You loved reading God's Word.
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You loved coming to church.
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And now you just give it a big "meh." I'm just not really on track right now in my life.
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It's time to get back on track.
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How do I do that?
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Well, last week we saw in chapter 1, you've got to get back to real worship.
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We saw that worship is really just as easy as breathing, isn't it?
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It's breathing in God's love and breathing out reverence for God.
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We talked about that last week.
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Giving God your best.
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Not just going through the motions.
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And you get through chapter 1 and you're like, That's a really convicting word of Scripture.
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And we get to chapter 2 and God says, "I'm not finished." Look at chapter 2, verses 1 and 2.
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"And now, O priest, this command is for you.
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If you will not listen, if you will not take it to heart, to give honor to My name, says the Lord of hosts, then I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings.
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Indeed, I have already cursed them because you do not lay it to heart." You see, it was the priest's job to bless people, and God says, "I'm about to make your job completely irrelevant, because the blessings that you're giving, I'm going to turn them into curses." Look at verse 3.
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God says, "Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung on your faces." "The dung of your offerings and you shall be taken away with it." How many of you have heard a sermon before on Malachi 2.3?
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Not very often, right?
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So, honestly, this is why we do expository preaching.
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We go through verse by verse because normally I wouldn't...
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pardon the expression, I wouldn't touch this with a ten-foot pole.
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But there it is in God's Word and you're like, It looks like what God's saying is, it looks like what He's saying is, He's going to spread dung on the faces of the priests.
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That's exactly what it's saying.
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You see, in Exodus 29:14, there was a procedure when you offered a sacrifice.
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And part of the procedure was, when you killed the animal, you were to take the - were a dung, insert whatever word you're most comfortable with there.
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So when you offered the sacrifice and you took the entrails out, you were to take the dung of the animals outside.
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So understand that this wasn't just God treating Israel like a puppy that was supposed to be housebroken, but had a mess in the house, like, "I'm going to rub your nose in it." It's a picture of those Old Testament sacrifices is to say you're unclean and you're acting filthy, and you don't deserve to be in the sanctuary.
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In fact, you deserve, like the crap, to be taken outside.
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Right? Is that what it says?
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Unfortunately, that's probably the only thing some people are going to remember from this sermon.
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It's a gross thought.
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But what is this telling us about God?
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He is pretty fired up right now, isn't he?
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He's like, "You're making a mockery of what is supposed to be worship." Look at verses 4-8.
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"So shall you know that I have sent this command to you, that My covenant with Levi may stand, says the Lord of hosts.
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My covenant with him was one of life and peace, and I gave them to him.
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It was a covenant of fear, and he feared Me.
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He stood in awe of My name.
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"If true instruction was in his mouth, then no wrong was found on his lips.
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He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many from iniquity.
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For the lips of a priest should guard knowledge, and people should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is a messenger of the Lord of hosts." Now, when he's talking about Levi, he's not just talking about one person.
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I think it's pretty obvious from the context.
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He's talking about the priesthood as a whole back in the early days.
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came from the tribe of Levi.
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So he's sort of personifying the whole priesthood by identifying them with the man that they came from.
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God's basically saying here, "This was the old school mentality of the priests.
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This was the right mentality.
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This is how they were back in the beginning." Look at verse 8, "But you have turned aside from the way.
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You have caused many to stumble by your instruction.
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"You have corrupted the covenant of Levi," says the Lord of hosts.
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Pause there.
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There's just a whole comparison here.
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You see, God says, "Levi was reverent," verse 5.
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"Levi walked with God," verse 6.
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And "Levi turned people from sin," verse 6.
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Malachi, the priests in your day are all the opposite.
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"Instead of revering Me, they've corrupted the covenant," verse 8.
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Instead of walking with God, they have turned aside, verse 8.
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And instead of turning people from sin, they turn people to stumble, causing many people to stumble, again, verse 8.
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So you see the problem.
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God's like, "Priests, you are way, way, way, way off track." Verse 9, "And so I make you despised and abased before all the people, and as much as you do not keep My ways, but show partiality in your instruction." God says, "This is why people don't respect you, priests." God's like, "I'm causing that. Do you know why people don't respect you?
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Do you know why people don't look up to you?" You're making a mockery of it.
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So at this point, you're like, "Yeah, we got it. We got it. We got it." Getting back on track means getting back to real worship.
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Anything else?
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But here's the message today.
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If you are married, I'm going to give you a statement that you have to take to heart.
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This statement summarizes the entire rest of this passage.
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The statement is this, it's on your outline.
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"Faithless in marriage is faithless to God." If you are married, "Faithless in marriage is faithless to God." You're like, "Well, what do you mean by that?" Here's what I mean.
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If you are married and you are being faithless in your marriage, God equates that to being faithless to Him Himself.
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Why is it phrased this way?
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Why use the word "faithless"? Because this is the word God uses.
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We're going to go through this passage, and you're going to see five times in this passage, God uses this word "faithless." Now, your job is to circle the word "faithless" every time you see it.
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Some translations say "dealt treacherously." The Hebrew word is "begot," which means "to act deceitfully" or "to betray." It carries the idea - and this is so important - this Hebrew word carries the idea of being a traitor.
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So when we talk about being faithless, we're not talking about, "Yeah, he's just not quite the husband that he should be. I mean, he's okay, but..." Or, "She's just kind of half-committed to the marriage, and overall I think it's decent." And being faithless, God doesn't view it as a little thing.
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God views it as, "You're a traitor." Somebody trusts you, and you stab them in the back, deceitfully and intentionally.
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That's what the word faithless means.
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God says you're being faithless in your marriage, and I take that personally.
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I take that as being faithless to me.
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You're going to see it in the passage again five times.
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See if you can find them all, all right?
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It's like church version of Pokemon.
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Find somebody that's laughing and have them explain that reference to you if you don't get it.
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So for sure, to get back on track, you're going to get vertical, for sure.
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But, listen church, one of the clearest, most often ignored, consistent teachings in the Bible is this.
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God says if you are off track in your horizontal relationships, that's the person-to-person relationships, if you're off track in your horizontal relationships, you are off track in your vertical relationship.
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In other words, God says if you are serious about this, the vertical relationship, then you have to be serious about this.
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Here's how Jesus said it.
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Matthew 5, verse 23, Jesus said, "So if you are offering your gift at the altar," worshipping, "and there remember that your brother has something against you, Leave your gift there before the altar and go.
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First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift." Jesus said you can be going to worship if you realize, you know what, things aren't right between Me and a friend of Mine, a family member. Things aren't right.
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Jesus said you need to go fix that before you worship.
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See, this horizontal stuff matters greatly to God.
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And no horizontal relationship is more important one with your spouse. So here's the point today, you're going to see it very clearly in the text. If you're not on track, married people, listen, it'd be easy for somebody to tune out right now and say, "Well, I'm not married." You plan on getting married someday? Then you really need to listen to this. Do you know people who are married? Are you praying for a marriage right now? You need to You listen to this.
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But especially if you are married right now, seriously tune in.
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Because if you are not on track in your marriage, you are not on track with God.
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To get back on track with God, you better get back on track in your marriage.
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You see, you could be sitting here saying, "You know what?
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To be honest with you, things are terrible at home.
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ministry's rocking!" God is not impressed. He's not. Like, you know, my wife and I just don't get along. Haven't gotten along in years, but I'll tell you, you know, you know something that's good in my life though is I spend, I spend 80 hours a week down at the soup kitchen. God doesn't care. Why? Because if you're not You're not on track in your marriage.
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God says you're off track in your relationship with Him.
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Look at what Paul told Timothy.
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1 Timothy 3 - this pertains in particular to elders, leaders in the church, but you're going to see a principle here that really applies to everyone.
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It says, "He must manage his own household well with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.
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But look at this.
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"For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?" Okay, pop quiz. This is real easy. You've got two choices.
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According to God, which one takes first priority?
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Your work in the church or your work in the home?
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Shout it out.
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Home, right? Do you see that?
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You see, you would think, "Well, he's a good leader in the church, so that means he's probably a good leader in the home." what that says? No. It says you have to have it figured out at home in order to even qualify to be able to be a leader in the church. Again 1st Timothy 5 8, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for members of his own household..." Look at this phrase. This is as serious as the dung in the face He has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
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Do you see that?
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God says if you don't take care of your own house, now do you think spouse is included in this?
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I would say especially if you're not taking care of your spouse.
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Men, if you are not taking care of your house, not taking care of your wives, God says, "You have denied the faith." And God says, look at this phrase, "You are worse than an unbeliever." God's like, "There's the people that know Me and love Me, and there's the people that don't know Me at all, don't love Me." God's like, "And then there's you, somewhere down here." So in Malachi, getting back on track with God means getting back on track in your marriage.
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Faithless in marriage is faithless to God.
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And somebody right now is like, "Hey, I'm really not convinced that that's a true statement." Well, I'm going to show you why this is a true statement.
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Three things on your outline.
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Why is this true?
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Number one, because you made a covenant before God.
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Look at verses 10 through 12.
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Remember, we're looking for... what's the word we're looking for?
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Faithless. And what does that word mean?
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Traitor. Traitor! Backstabber! Deceitful!
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Okay? See if you can find it.
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Verses 10 through 12.
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"Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us?
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Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?
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Judah has been faithless.
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An abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem.
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For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.
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May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendants of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts.
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See the first problem here.
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The reason faithless in marriage is faithless to God, number one, is because you made a covenant before God in your marriage.
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Here's the issue here, you're going to see it in the rest of the passage.
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But this is the particular issue that we're addressing.
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Israel was guilty of breaking the covenant with their wives, divorcing them, and marrying these pagan foreign women.
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Do you see why this is a doubly bad thing?
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See, Israel returning from exile, and these men who were married, these Jewish men were checking out these gorgeous, exotic foreign women, Thinking I'd like to have her Yeah, yeah, but what about your what about your wife?
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Like all the thing with her stale we just haven't been getting along since the exile. I mean, it's just been a Just haven't been getting along But dude this woman that you're checking out she's a pagan she worships like statues So she's hot and they were divorcing their wives And they were marrying pagan women Remember last week. I told you that Malachi was a contemporary of Nehemiah and I have to share this Nehemiah 1325 is one of my favorite verses in the Old Testament Because Nehemiah was dealing with the same thing Jewish men abandoning their wives marrying these foreign Pagan women be my 1325. We're gonna turn there, but I want you to write that down. Nehemiah says that he now imagine as he Confronted them cursed them beat them pulled out their hair and made them take an oath You're like why is that your favorite because it just makes me wish that I was an Old Testament preacher I Do I wish that I lived in Old Testament times. Could you imagine?
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Somebody shows up to church, and we're like, "Joe, heard you haven't been faithful to your wife this week." And then I'd be like, "Darren, why don't you take Joe here out to the parking lot and show him how we feel about that?" And then Joe comes in missing a few teeth, bruised, his clothes all torn up.
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He comes limping back in like, "What happened to you?" He's like, "You were loved." But that's how serious this was.
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Nehemiah was like, "I had to stomp a mud hole in some people." Now understand, when we talk about these marriages, we're not talking about interracial marriage, okay?
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There's only one race. There's a human race.
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That's not the issue.
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The issue is interfaith marriage, which 2 Corinthians 6, the Apostle Paul gives a huge warning.
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You should not consider marriage with someone who doesn't love Jesus Christ.
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A believer should not marry an unbeliever.
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This passage is not condemning everyone who is divorced.
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The Bible certainly makes allowances for that in special circumstances, but it's never commanded.
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But here's what we are condemning.
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People who are abandoning their promise, "in the name of love," or more accurately, I put down in my notes, "in the name of lust." Does that still happen today?
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I mean, I don't know. You tell me, does that still happen today?
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The people abandon their marriage because somebody else catches their eye, and now all of a sudden, their mindset is, "I'm going to trade in the old model for the new model," which is disgusting mentality.
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Does that happen today?
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See, this is what Malachi was condemning, and that's what Nehemiah was beating people up over, and this is what we're condemning today, if you're married.
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Let me ask you this, whatever happened to just, I don't know, keeping your word?
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Sounds so foreign, doesn't it? Keeping your word.
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I mean, we kind of grew up with that, didn't we, Darren?
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But the next generation it seems like you need to keep your word like what's that supposed to be?
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We live in a day It just it just sounds so weird it's it's so foreign to our way of thinking You know the commercial on TV that drives me insane You know the commercial that drives me So I'm gonna tell you the commercial absolutely drives me insane the commercials that are directed at people who are buried in credit card debt Have you seen these commercials where they say call us and get those nasty credit card companies off your back?
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How many people have seen those commercials just call us and we'll get those nasty credit card companies off of your back And I was thinking about that, you know Those credit card companies weren't so nasty When they allowed me to obtain something that I didn't have the money to pay for they weren't so nasty then How many people here have used a credit card before When you use a credit card, and I've used one Alex, I'm sorry but when you use a credit card your that piece of paper comes out and and Then you sign the you signed a little slip right you know what that thing is that you're signing What's that thing that you're signing?
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Basically what you're saying is I promise to pay this back You're saying I'm agreeing to the terms of the cardholder But it's just basically saying yeah I don't have the money for this now But the credit company is gonna cover me and I promise I promise I'm gonna pay this back I'm good for it Now all of a sudden when I've buried myself in debt Now the credit card company they're the nasty people And we need somebody to help get those nasty credit card companies off of our back because we made the irresponsible choices You see when we sign that piece of paper at Kmart or whatever fine store you shop at. When we signed that paper, we meant it when we signed it, didn't we? Now down the road, we didn't even remember what it was that we bought. We're sort of like, "I really don't want to keep my word anymore.
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I need somebody to help get me out from under these nasty credit card companies." And yeah, that's the same thing that happens in our marriages.
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Honestly, we meant it at the time.
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In sickness and in health, till death do we part, forsaking all others.
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We meant it at the time, and believe me, I have done so many weddings and I've seen, you know, the bride and the groom and the look in their eyes when they're like, "I'm promising myself to you forever." Yeah, they mean it.
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They mean it.
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Like the credit card, it's like, "Well, I meant it at the time, but I really don't want to keep my word anymore." And do you know what God calls that?
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He calls that being faithless.
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He calls that being a traitor.
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And if you're sitting here today and you're like, "You know, I really do, deep down, I really do want to be faithful to God." Well, do you think that you can be faithful to God without being faithful to the covenant that you made before God?
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Faithless in marriage is what?
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Faithless to God.
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Number two, because you are being joined together by God.
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Look at verses 13-15.
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And this second thing you do, you cover the Lord's altar with tears and weeping and groaning because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
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But you say, "Why does He not?" Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless.
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Though she is your companion and your wife by covenant, did He not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in their union?
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Number two, because you are being joined together by God.
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You see that, the tears, "Why doesn't God accept my worship?" What's the answer?
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Because you've been faithless to your wife, that's why.
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That gets back to the whole, let's not talk about the vertical thing if you have no interest in the horizontal thing.
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That's what's going on here.
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Marriage is not a business partnership.
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Marriage is not a buddy to hang out with or someone to keep you awake on road trips.
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Look at verse 15 again.
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Did he not make them one?
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The husband and wife are two becoming one.
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They belong to each other.
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And that's why it says, with a portion of the spirit in their union.
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It means they not only belong to each other, they belong to God.
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The verse means, you know, the marriage is more than paperwork.
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It's more than just an agreement between two people.
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Marriage is a God thing.
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It's a spiritual thing.
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It's literally two people becoming one person, which is a reality and a process at the same time.
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It's a reality and a process at the same time, this two becoming one.
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Like, well, how can something be a reality and a process?
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Think about it this way.
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If I decided tomorrow that I was going to sign up for the army, enlist, we're pretending, right?
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If I enlisted for the army, when I signed my enlistment papers, You could say, "Well, you're a soldier now, right?
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You're GI, you're a soldier." I'm like, "Great." They're like, "Now you have to go to bootcamp." And I'm like, "Why do I have to go to bootcamp?
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You just said I was a soldier.
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So why do I go to bootcamp?
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Because they're going to make me a soldier, right?
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So do you see how I am something and they're making me something at the same time?" It's like that with holiness.
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In Jesus Christ, God pronounces you holy.
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So what is the whole process of sanctification in the Christian life?
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It's God making you what he's already pronounced you to be.
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You see, marriage is like that too.
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God says you're one.
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You two are now one.
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And your married lives together is the process of the two becoming one.
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That's why Genesis 2.24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother "and shall cleave or hold fast to his wife, "and the two shall become one flesh." And this reality is found in no other relationship you have on the earth.
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That's why this is so important to God.
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You are not one with your parents.
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You are not one with your friends.
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You are not one with your kids and you're not one with your dog.
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The only relationship that the Bible says results in two people becoming one person is the relationship with your spouse.
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That's why Jesus said in Matthew 19, 6, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
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But therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Your marriage is a God project.
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So if you're sitting here today and you're saying, "God, I just want you to do something in my life." The question is, are you being faithless towards your spouse?
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Then God's response is, "You know, I am trying to do something in your life right now, and you're working against the very thing that I'm trying to do.
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Because faithless in marriage is faithless to God.
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You made a covenant.
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You're being joined together by God, and finally for today, because you have a purpose for God.
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Look at the rest of verse 15 and then 16.
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And what was the one God seeking?
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Godly offspring.
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So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
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For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts.
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So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless." You made a covenant before God, you're being joined together by God, and you have a purpose for God.
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God does want to do something in your marriage, but He also wants to do something through your marriage.
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And as important as marriage itself is, do you realize God's design is about much more than even your marriage?
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What's God after?
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Verse 15, what's God after? Shout it out.
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Godly offspring, right?
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Now we're not saying that a married couple without kids is on a lesser plan.
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We're not saying that.
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I'm like, "Well, then what are you saying?" Here's what I'm saying.
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Let's pretend for a second that you're God.
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Okay?
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We're just pretending for a second that you're God.
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And you're looking down on this earth you created, and the people that you created, and you want to make sure that every generation knows about your love.
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You want to make sure that every generation knows that you are a merciful and gracious God, that while you hate sin, you are quick to pardon, and you love to restore lost and broken people.
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You want every generation to know that.
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How would you make that happen?
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Every child that's born, you would want that child to be in a stable home with loving parents, parents who are committed to God and who are committed to each other.
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Does that sound like a good plan?
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That would work, wouldn't it?
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That's what God's after.
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We pretended that we were God for a second, and now let's pretend you're the devil.
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If you were the devil, how would you disrupt God's plan?
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Divorce, affairs, abandonment, bitterness in the home towards one another, and have those kids, have these kids grow up confused and hurt and angry.
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You think that would disrupt the plan?
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So husbands, husbands here today, I'm speaking specifically to fathers.
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The best thing that you can do for your children is to love your wife.
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That's the best thing you can do for your kids.
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Wives, moms, do you wanna be a good mom?
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Do you wanna be a good mom?
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You know the best thing you can do for your kids, the best way you can be a mother is to love your husband.
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You saw it twice, verses 15 and 16.
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God says it twice.
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He says, "Guard yourself.
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Do not be faithless." Guard yourself.
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Stop thinking negatively towards your spouse.
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Stop speaking negatively towards your spouse.
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Stop considering how to get out of the marriage.
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Stop entertaining an affair.
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Love is a choice.
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And you need to make the choice to love, because faithless in marriage is faithless to God.
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You made a covenant.
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God's joining you together, and God wants to do some things through you.
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Let's pray.
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Father in heaven, I'm sure there are people here that are looking to get back on track walk with you but their marriages are miserable. They haven't been on the same page, they've been fighting, they've been distant, they've been avoiding each other.
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God I pray, I pray that today is the day of repentance for some homes where this has been happening. I'm sure there are some men in this room right now that are entertaining flirtatious relationships that have no business doing. They find themselves just like these Israelites abandoning their commitment that they made abandoning the the oneness that you are trying to form abandoning the purpose of raising godly children because someone else has caught their attention I pray today's the day of repentance God God we we live in a day that I guess I'd be arrested if I did what Nehemiah did.
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But I pray that Your Holy Spirit would grab every heart in this room, every married couple, everyone in here that's about to get married, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would grab them and shake them to this reality, that if they're being faithless in their marriage, You consider that being faithless towards you yourself.
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So God, I pray that there's much restoration that happens.
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I pray that tomorrow is a brand new day, because some hard conversations happen today, some apologies and seeking forgiveness and much prayer happens today.
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Get us back to a marriage commitment that glorifies Your name.
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We pray these things, Father, in the glorious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Malachi 2:1-16
What were the issues God was calling out the priests on in Malachi 2:8? What does this say about people in (any) ministry today?
Why is it you need to be faithful in your horizontal relationships in order to be faithful in your vertical relationship with God? See Matthew 5:23 & 1 John 4:20.
What are some specific modern day examples of people not keeping their word? Why do you think people don’t keep their word today?
How is oneness in marriage a reality and a process at the same time (Mal 2:15)? See Genesis 2:24.
What are some ways, if you are married, you can "guard yourself" (Mal 2:15-16)? Be specific.
Breakout Questions:
Married people: How are you making your marriage a priority?