00:01-00:06
We are going to be in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2.
00:08-00:13
In chapter 1 we really saw the Apostle Paul writing to this very young church.
00:13-00:17
It was probably only a few months or maybe even about a year old.
00:18-00:24
The Apostle Paul was commending them because they were authentic.
00:26-00:31
He was also commending them for the example that they had set for other churches.
00:32-00:38
As we get to chapter 2, the focus is going to turn to the leadership.
00:40-00:55
The title of today's message is "Be Done with People-Pleasing." Before we get into the text, we need to have a serious reality check.
00:57-01:01
And that is this, you are a people pleaser.
01:02-01:03
You're like, no I'm not a people pleaser.
01:03-01:05
Yes, you are a people pleaser.
01:05-01:06
I don't think I am a people pleaser.
01:06-01:12
You are a people pleaser by nature, and so am I.
01:14-01:18
You know, the Bible uses another phrase to describe this.
01:20-01:23
And it's this phrase, you see it over and over, especially in the Old Testament.
01:24-01:27
"Fear of man." How many people remember seeing that phrase in the Old Testament?
01:28-01:31
"Fear of man." What is fear of man?
01:31-01:36
I used to think that fear of man was like I'm afraid of people.
01:37-01:37
Right?
01:37-01:39
Like I'm kind of scared of that guy.
01:39-01:42
But that's not what fear of man is.
01:42-01:44
Fear of man is simply this.
01:44-01:49
I care more about what people think than I care about what God thinks.
01:49-01:50
That's fear of man.
01:51-01:55
I care more about what people think than I care about what God thinks.
01:57-02:05
Proverbs 29, 25 says, "The fear of man lays a snare." What that means simply is this.
02:05-02:12
We can get trapped into caring about what people think.
02:13-02:14
It becomes a trap for us.
02:14-02:16
We become consumed by it.
02:16-02:17
We become obsessed by it.
02:18-02:21
I care about only what people think.
02:23-02:23
It's a snare.
02:26-02:31
As you know, I'm not shy about confessing to you my own weaknesses.
02:34-02:42
This is a message that really hit home for me as I look back on my life in ministry.
02:43-02:59
Because I'm just being honest with you and I hope that you can be honest with yourself these things, but I just want to speak for myself for a second. You know, I want everybody to like me. I'm just gonna be honest. I want everybody to like me.
03:01-03:13
Sometimes you hear people say, "I don't care what people think." That's a lie. You absolutely care what people think. People say, "I don't care if people like me." That's a lie.
03:15-03:16
So I'm not speaking for you.
03:16-03:17
I'll speak for myself.
03:17-03:20
But the truth is for me, I want people to like me.
03:21-03:45
(P Criticism and rejection.
03:46-03:47
That's a natural fear of mine.
03:50-03:51
Criticism is a great thing.
03:53-03:56
And it's great to evaluate what you're doing and can I do it better.
03:57-03:58
I'm just shooting straight with you.
03:59-04:00
I hate it.
04:01-04:05
I know that I need it, but I hate it.
04:06-04:10
I don't like somebody coming to me saying, "You can do this better.
04:10-04:12
I didn't like how you did that.
04:15-04:16
That's a fear of mine.
04:18-04:27
And I would rather deliver the message and run right to my car and run home and unpower all the computers and phones and tablets and all that stuff.
04:27-04:34
I don't want to know what people think, but I do want to know what people think if it's good.
04:36-04:37
I fear criticism.
04:38-04:39
I fear rejection.
04:41-04:42
I want you to like me.
04:44-04:46
And what if you don't like me?
04:47-04:50
And what if I say something that makes you like me less?
04:51-04:57
And what if you decide that you dislike me so much that you don't want to be around me anymore and you don't want to come to this church anymore?
05:00-05:02
That's fear of man in my life.
05:04-05:09
And going back a few years, I can honestly tell you that it has hindered my ministry.
05:10-05:25
Because it's been very easy for me to make concessions on the mission or the methods of the church for fear that someone is going to criticize me or decide that they don't want to be my friend.
05:27-05:27
That's me.
05:29-05:34
It's sort of like the parent wants their child to be their buddy.
05:36-05:41
Parents, especially young parents, that doesn't work.
05:41-05:42
Okay?
05:42-05:43
You are not your child's buddy.
05:45-05:48
You are your child's mother, or your child's father.
05:48-05:49
You are their authority.
05:50-05:52
You are their discipler.
05:52-05:53
You are their provider.
05:54-05:56
You are not their friend.
05:56-05:58
And I have a great relationship with my kids.
05:58-06:02
And you know, Kate says to me, "We're buddies, right Dad?
06:02-06:03
You're my best friend, right dad?
06:03-06:03
Yeah.
06:05-06:07
But I'm not just your buddy, okay?
06:07-06:12
And some parents wanna get into that mode where I just wanna be my kids, but I don't correct them, I don't discipline them.
06:14-06:16
You're gonna have a monster on your hands.
06:16-06:18
You are not their buddy.
06:19-06:19
You are their authority.
06:20-06:22
You are their God-ordained authority.
06:22-06:26
But I can understand that trap to be their buddy.
06:26-06:27
And I'm guilty of that.
06:28-06:37
There's times that, There's times that I'm resistant to discipline my children because I don't want them mad at me.
06:38-06:39
Any other parent like that?
06:40-06:43
I'm just gonna let that go because I don't want him to be mad at me.
06:43-06:44
I have been guilty of that.
06:46-06:56
So for the sake of family and church and solely by God's grace, I can tell you today that over the last couple of years, honestly, I have come a long way.
06:59-07:01
But I still have a long way to go.
07:02-07:06
And by God's grace, I am growing so much in this area.
07:08-07:09
But I'm done with people pleasing.
07:10-07:16
And on your outline, why I'm done with people pleasing, and you should be too.
07:17-07:18
That's where we're going today.
07:18-07:21
Why I'm done with people pleasing, and why you should be too.
07:24-07:26
First of all, write this down.
07:27-07:28
Why am I done with people pleasing?
07:29-07:31
This is a very pragmatic reason.
07:31-07:32
You're gonna see it in the text.
07:32-07:33
Why am I done with people pleasing?
07:33-07:34
Because I can't please everyone.
07:36-07:46
Look at verses one and two in 1 Thessalonians 2, where Paul says, "For you yourselves know, brothers, "that our coming to you was not in vain.
07:49-08:14
"But though we had already suffered "and been shamefully treated at Philippi, "As you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the Gospel of God in the midst of much conflict." Notice in verse 1 and 2, he says, "You know, you yourselves know." Verse 2, "As you know." That's going to be all throughout chapter 2.
08:15-08:18
And apparently, there were some accusations made against the Apostle Paul.
08:18-08:23
And in this section, over and over, Paul says, "Look, look, church, you know what we were like.
08:23-08:24
You know what we were like.
08:26-08:29
I would just say that sometimes that's all you need in the face of an accusation.
08:31-08:32
Look, you know me.
08:33-08:37
These accusations stack up compared to what you do know of me.
08:39-08:47
But verse 2, Paul says, "We'd already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know." What's he talking about?
08:48-09:00
To give you a little context, you can read about Paul planning this church in Thessalonica in Acts chapter 17, but if you go to Acts 16, you don't have to go there now, but I encourage you to read this.
09:01-09:03
I think the story's actually kind of funny.
09:03-09:04
I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time.
09:05-09:06
It's kind of funny now reading it.
09:06-09:14
But when you go to Acts chapter 16, you see that Paul and Silas were in Philippi.
09:15-09:20
In Acts chapter 16, Paul drove a demon out of a slave girl.
09:22-09:27
And the Bible says it was because she was following them around.
09:27-09:32
She was following Paul and Silas around going, these are servants of the most high God proclaiming the way of salvation.
09:32-09:34
And they're like trying to evangelize and share the gospel.
09:35-09:37
And this demon possessed girl was just following them around.
09:38-09:40
These are servants of God.
09:40-09:41
These are servants of the most high God.
09:41-09:42
They're proclaiming the way of salvation.
09:43-09:44
And I'm not making this up.
09:44-11:13
Bible says that Paul got so annoyed that he cast his demon out of her. I think that's so funny because it wasn't like, "In the name of righteousness, in the name of advancing the kingdom, in the name of planting the church." It wasn't any of that. It was like, "Would you shut up?" And the Bible says Paul turned to her because he was greatly annoyed and cast this demon out of her. Well it caused some problems because people were using this girl because she was demon possessed. She had some supernatural fortune-telling ability and people were making money off of her. Now all of a sudden they lost their little cash cow. And the Bible says that they were so angry that Paul and Silas were seized and they were beaten with rods and they were put in jail. So why am I telling you this? Well, because in verse 2 Paul's like, "You know what happened to me in Philippi." Like the Thessalonian church knew what happened. You know, the audacity. Here's a poor little girl who's being tortured by being demon-oppressed. And Paul, I'm not gonna get into his motives again, okay, so whatever his motives were, he drives a demon out of a girl. You that there'd be a ticker tape parade for that, right? Here's a child who's been delivered.
11:15-11:37
What happened? They were beaten half to death and thrown in jail for that. Paul's like, "You know what happened in Philippi, right?" Like, "Yeah, we know." So Paul and Silas get to Thessalonica in Acts chapter 17 and they're like, "You know what, guys? We need a better strategy because this sharing the gospel thing and this Holy Spirit and power of Jesus thing isn't working, so let's do something else, right?
11:37-11:38
Is that what happened?
11:39-11:39
No.
11:39-11:41
They didn't change their methods.
11:42-11:47
They didn't change their message because they were met with opposition.
11:48-11:51
In fact, they were like, yeah, we got exactly what was expected.
11:54-11:56
In the midst of much conflict, we declared the Gospel.
11:58-12:02
There is so much pressure today to not offend people.
12:04-12:28
false. There is so much pressure. And we're at the point now, anything you say is going to offend somebody. Anything you say. Somebody will find a way to get offended by that. I was laughing last week, not at the issue itself, but one of the peripheral issues. You know the whole thing with the Confederate flag, right?
12:28-13:09
being banned. The thing that cracked me up about that was I saw all these news articles about we're removing the Confederate flag from the top of the General Lee, from the Dukes of Hazzard, and I laughed. I'm like, the Dukes of Hazzard? Who has talked about the Dukes of Hazzard in the last 35 years? Like, are they still a thing? Like seriously? Like Daisy Duke's got to be like 95 by now, and we're talking about the Dukes of Hazzard like it's relevant. Like that went out like a generation before Crystal Pepsi. Like the Dukes of Hazzard?
13:10-14:24
Really? Like that's the thing that we're focused on? The Dukes of Hazzard? I know when I read that, my first thought was, "Oh yeah, I forgot that the Confederate flag was on the top of their orange car. But all of a sudden the Dukes of Hazzard are thrust back into the spotlight and some people were like, "Finally! Finally!" But that offends people. Hitting aside, the truth is we live in a day where people are just looking to be offended by anything. So I would say to you this is a good thing to write down. You can make your aim to please God or you can aim to please people, but you can't do both. You can try to please God, or you can try to please people, but you can't do both. Listen closely to what I'm saying. When you simply say that you believe in the Bible, in our day, you're considered a bigot or a hater. Just by saying, "I believe in the Bible." We saw it a couple years ago, right, the whole Chick-fil-A thing, you know, the CEO came out and all he said was, "I believe in the biblical definition of marriage." He didn't condemn anybody.
14:25-14:27
He didn't throw any harsh words at anyone that I saw.
14:29-14:37
Everything that I read just simply said that he was like, "Yeah, I believe what the Bible says about marriage." And that guy was raked through the coals just because of that statement.
14:39-14:44
And we've gone to the point that just because you disagree with someone now means that you hate them.
14:45-14:46
When did that happen?
14:48-14:54
We're not going to agree on everything, but just because we might disagree about something doesn't mean that I hate you.
14:57-14:59
That's the thing though, isn't it?
15:00-15:02
Oh, you don't agree with what I'm doing?
15:02-15:04
Then you're a bigot.
15:05-15:06
Because I have a different opinion?
15:07-15:08
Isn't that what makes the world go round?
15:09-15:13
And Paul learned that, didn't he?
15:15-15:18
You can make it your aim to please God, or you can aim to please people, but you can't do both.
15:21-15:29
But I would take it another step, and say you can make it your aim to please people, but you can't even do that.
15:32-15:34
You can't even please people.
15:35-15:43
If you make that your aim to please people, for some reason, and it's not going to happen, but for some reason, let's just pretend, can you pretend with me for a second?
15:43-15:47
Let's pretend that in elders meeting, our elders said, "You know what we're going to do?
15:47-15:50
We're going to stop worrying about the Bible and doctrine and all that.
15:51-15:53
What we want to do is just please people.
15:54-15:56
You think we could pull that off?
15:56-16:06
You think there's some method that we could do, some way that we could conduct this thing that everybody's going to love it and think it's great?
16:08-16:09
You can't please people.
16:10-16:17
You just can't." It reminds me of that old story, maybe you've heard that old fable about the little boy, the old man and the donkey.
16:18-16:19
How many people have heard that story?
16:19-16:20
Some of you have?
16:20-16:25
For those of you that haven't, I love this story because it so illustrates human hearts.
16:27-16:31
It's a great commentary on society, but the story goes there's a little boy, there's an old man and there's a donkey.
16:32-16:42
And as they're riding through town, the old man lets the little boy ride on the donkey and he walks beside the donkey, and everybody that watched him walk by was offended.
16:44-16:59
They're like, "Look at that. Here's a little boy with strong, young, healthy legs, and he's making the old man walk. That little kid should be ashamed of himself. He's got the energy. That old man, he's the one that should be riding on that donkey." And everybody was offended.
17:01-17:17
Well, the old man heard about this, and the next day as they were driving through town, through town, rather. The old man was riding on the donkey and the little boy was walking. As they were going through town, everybody was saying, "Look at that.
17:19-17:35
That old man's taking advantage of that little boy. Look at that. Shouldn't he be taking care of the kid? Isn't his job to take care of the kid?" Instead, look at him just sitting back, riding on his donkey, and making the kid walk. Yeah, yeah, way to to go, who's the adult here, way to go, and everybody was offended.
17:37-17:38
Well, the old man heard about that.
17:39-17:45
He goes, well, they were offended when you rode, they were offended when I rode, so the old man said, here's what we'll do, we'll both ride.
17:47-17:51
So the old man and the kid both got on the donkey and rode through town, and everybody was offended.
17:52-17:53
They're like, look at that poor donkey.
17:56-18:00
That poor donkey, they're making that poor donkey carry two people, can you believe that?
18:00-18:06
Somebody get Sarah McLachlan in the recording studio, because we need to get a commercial here.
18:07-18:08
Get PETA here.
18:09-18:10
Somebody needs to stop this.
18:10-18:13
They're abusing that poor donkey, and everybody was offended.
18:15-18:21
The story goes that the next day, the old man and the little boy were walking through town carrying the donkey.
18:23-18:24
I love that story, because isn't it true?
18:25-18:28
That no matter what you do, somebody's is going to be offended.
18:30-18:34
Even if it's advancing the Kingdom of Christ by driving the demon out of a little girl.
18:36-18:41
Everybody was offended to the point of a beating and incarceration.
18:43-18:51
Church, if I have any standing with you, if you take my word for anything, I would say this, you're going to have to trust me.
18:51-18:55
I've been in pastoral ministry now for 19 years in three churches.
18:56-19:25
I've done youth group, I've been on missions trips, I've headed a pioneer club, I've done prison, I've done aftercare prison ministry, I've been involved in outreach camps, street evangelism, old folks homes, addiction recovery, church planning, and in every single context and every ministry I've ever been a part of, somebody was offended in something that I did, in something I said, in something I should have said, in something I should have said differently, in every context.
19:25-19:35
I was thinking back this week, was there ever a ministry that I was part of and headed up and pulled off that everybody was like, that was perfect?
19:35-19:36
No.
19:36-19:46
There's always been somebody or somebodies that would sit back and be like, here's five ways you could've made that better.
19:47-19:48
Here's six ways that that failed.
19:50-19:51
Every time.
19:51-19:52
Every time.
19:54-19:55
Somebody's going to be offended.
19:55-19:56
What do you do?
19:57-19:57
What do you do?
19:58-20:03
Well, step one, realize that even in your best intentions, you can't please everyone.
20:05-20:07
Step two, here's the big one.
20:07-20:11
And this has been a huge growth point for me and I'd commend it to you.
20:12-20:12
Bless you.
20:13-20:16
I would say trust God to do what he's promised to do with his word.
20:18-20:19
Like where do you get that?
20:19-20:20
Look at verse one again.
20:21-20:26
He says, "For you yourselves know, brothers, that are coming to you was not in vain.
20:27-20:28
It was not in vain.
20:29-20:35
Even in the midst of the conflict that we had to deal with in Philippi and all the problems that we dealt with.
20:37-20:46
So we come to you and we preach the gospel and He goes, "You know that it was not in vain." It reminds me of Isaiah 55 verses 10 and 11.
20:46-20:47
Jot that reference down.
20:47-20:53
Isaiah 55, verses 10-11, God says that His Word will always accomplish His purposes.
20:55-20:58
It will always succeed to do what He intends.
20:59-21:01
That's been a huge growth point for me.
21:01-21:05
Like look, that's on God.
21:05-21:12
He said that His Word always accomplishes His intended result.
21:14-21:21
I know that anytime you don't get up and just say, this is what the Word of God says, God's going to take care of the rest.
21:22-21:27
I don't need to think about, what can I do to not offend somebody because somebody is going to be offended?
21:28-21:36
Instead, I just need to think, how can I clearly communicate the Word of God and trust Him to do with it what He said He's going to do?
21:38-21:39
So I'm done with people pleasing.
21:41-21:44
And you should be too, because you can't please everyone.
21:45-21:49
Number two, I made a mistake in your outline.
21:52-21:52
Pronoun mistake.
21:53-21:58
I said, your outline says, because it, scratch out the word it and write people pleasing.
21:59-22:01
You have a pronoun violation and you're gonna see why here in a few minutes.
22:02-22:03
But we need to be clear, right?
22:04-22:07
Because people pleasing, instead of the word it.
22:08-22:12
Because people-pleasing tempts me to sacrifice my integrity.
22:14-22:18
Because people-pleasing tempts me to sacrifice my integrity.
22:18-22:20
Look at verses 3-5.
22:20-22:28
Paul says, "For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive.
22:30-22:43
But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the Gospel, so we speak." Not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
22:45-22:51
For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed God has witnessed.
22:52-22:53
Stop there.
22:54-22:57
Because people-pleasing tempts me to sacrifice my integrity.
22:59-23:09
If you make it your aim to please people, you are at some point going to be tempted to, you're going to actually do it, you're going to compromise your integrity.
23:10-23:14
And you see the thesis here in verse 4, I have it highlighted in my Bible.
23:15-23:19
We speak not to please man, but to please God.
23:21-23:25
That has to be the banner over every sermon that's preached in this church.
23:26-23:30
Whether it's me, whether it's Mark, we have some guest speakers coming in in July.
23:31-23:35
Every message proclaimed in this church should have that banner over it.
23:35-23:42
speaking not to please man, but to please God.
23:44-23:45
That's a motives issue, isn't it?
23:47-23:50
On your outline, here's five sins of people pleasing ministry.
23:51-23:53
Five sins of people pleasing ministry.
23:54-23:55
It's all straight from the text, ok?
23:55-23:56
I didn't make this up.
23:57-24:00
These are things that Paul said they did not do.
24:02-24:35
Letter A. Sin of people pleasing ministry. Error. Error. Did you see that? You guys see this right? I'm not making this up. This is in verse 3. He says, "For our appeal does not spring from error." Error is just simply unknowingly saying wrong things. You're like, "Well, what do you mean by that?" Well, in a few minutes I'm going to talk about this Supreme Court ruling on Friday.
24:38-24:44
But I see a lot of people preaching error as a result.
24:47-25:22
And a couple of the ones that just kind of irritate me when they come from people in ministry who should know better, hear people say things like, "Jesus never said anything about marriage." Like, excuse me? Jesus said a lot about marriage, actually. Remember Matthew chapter 19? He took the people back to Genesis. And Jesus essentially was saying, "Do you remember God's original plan for marriage? He created the male and female for this purpose. A man shall leave his father and mother, shall leave his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Therefore, while God has joined together, let no man separate.
25:24-25:26
Jesus absolutely did say things about marriage.
25:28-25:35
You know, and I heard somebody say this week, "Well, Jesus just dealt with people in love.
25:35-25:45
Jesus never confronted sin." But here's the thing, the people that say those things, I honestly just don't think they know any better.
25:47-25:57
speaking out of ignorance. They're making some declaration of what they think the Bible says, though they've never read the Bible. They're speaking out of ignorance.
25:58-26:32
But why would they do that? Because they want to please people. I've heard people say, "You know, as I read the Bible, the God that I read of the Bible, the way that I interpret the Bible, is that God is a God of love." And that's part of it. Okay? And I would also add, what do you mean by love? But they're speaking from error, just ignorantly. In other words, people pleasing made me not do my homework. That's error.
26:33-26:42
Letter B is impurity. You see that he said, verse 3, "Our appeal does not spring from or impurity.
26:44-26:45
Well, we've seen this a lot, haven't we?
26:45-26:47
Especially in 2014.
26:47-26:51
And I can tell you over my years of ministry, I've seen this so many times.
26:51-26:57
National and local preachers of the Gospel motivated by lust.
26:59-27:00
Motivated by lust.
27:02-27:06
They do what they do, not with an eye on I just want to serve God.
27:09-27:12
motivated by some woman or some women.
27:13-27:16
We saw it on a national scale a lot last year, and I'm not going to mention names.
27:16-27:17
You read the news.
27:18-27:31
I can tell you, I pastor at a church downtown Butler, I could give you a list of pastors' names that I saw fall from ministry because their motivation was to be with women in their congregation, okay?
27:32-28:03
And they would have these counseling sessions that were set up in such a way that they got this poor woman who is already hurting and already abused, now all of a sudden trusting this strong pastor who seems to have his act together. He did all that. He was motivated by all that because he wanted to have a sexual relationship with this woman. That is nothing new. It happened in Paul's day. They were false preachers, but that was their intention.
28:05-28:09
They would roll into town and preach some kind of a message just to get the ladies.
28:11-28:13
Paul says, "That's not what we did.
28:14-28:16
We weren't motivated by impurity.
28:16-28:29
We didn't come into town to try to woo the women with our ministry." In other words, people pleasing drove me to please myself with people.
28:31-28:33
That is a sin of people pleasing ministry.
28:34-28:39
I don't have an eye on God, I have an eye on how can I get this woman.
28:41-28:42
It happens church.
28:45-28:49
It happens a lot and it happens a lot that we don't even know about yet.
28:51-28:51
Deception.
28:53-28:54
You see that in verse 3.
28:54-29:01
"He does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive." Deception.
29:01-29:15
I was studying this word this week and they found this word for deception used in secular Greek literature and it was used to refer to a tavern keeper who watered down the wine of a drunk person.
29:16-29:17
That was the word for deception.
29:17-29:20
Okay, so this guy's at the bar and he's drinking, he's drinking.
29:20-29:28
He gets so drunk that the bartender's like, "He's never going to know," and he adds water to the wine, saving himself money on the wine.
29:29-29:31
Stupid drunk guy doesn't know.
29:31-29:32
It's clueless.
29:33-29:34
It was deception.
29:35-29:43
And I thought about that picture and how when you have a people-pleasing ministry, you're going to be tempted to water down the Word.
29:46-30:12
You know, the Bible is so clear about something and somebody comes along and says, "Well, I know that's what the Bible says, but what you have to understand is there's some obscure, unverifiable third-party source that I read somewhere, that there was this little cultural nuance in the Greek that really takes this passage and it really means something completely different than what it actually says. And what? What?
30:13-30:18
Maybe I'm just a simpleton, but I'm just like, okay, let's see what the Bible says.
30:18-30:29
What does it seem like God is trying to communicate to us? Okay, the people want to do all these hermeneutical acrobatics to try to make the passage say something that it doesn't say.
30:29-30:37
That's partly deception, partly error at times, I'm sure, not knowing that they're doing it.
30:37-30:39
That's exactly what Paul's talking about here.
30:39-30:41
We're not watering the gospel down.
30:41-30:42
We're not sugarcoating it.
30:42-30:45
We're not trying, we never tried to make the gospel easy.
30:47-30:49
In other words, people pleasing made me change God's message.
30:50-30:51
Deception.
30:52-30:54
Letter D, that jumps down to verse five.
30:54-30:55
We saw the thesis in verse four, right?
30:55-30:57
Not to please man, but to please God.
30:58-31:01
Things we don't do, these are five sins of people pleasing ministry.
31:01-31:05
Verse five, for we never came with words of, what does your Bible say?
31:07-31:11
For we never came with words of, verse five, flattery.
31:13-31:14
What is flattery?
31:15-31:19
Flattery isn't just complimenting someone, okay?
31:19-31:21
That's not what flattery is.
31:22-31:26
Like, "Justin, you've got some really nice shoes, man." That's not flattery.
31:27-31:28
Okay, that's a compliment.
31:28-31:30
Justin has some sweet shoes, okay?
31:30-31:31
That's a compliment.
31:31-31:33
That's me having good eyesight or whatever.
31:34-31:34
Okay?
31:35-31:36
That's not flattery.
31:36-31:37
What is flattery?
31:38-31:42
Flattery is saying something to someone for my benefit.
31:43-31:46
That's why at Harvest we encourage men.
31:47-31:50
I had this talk with a young pastor, actually a couple of weeks ago.
31:51-32:03
Young pastor that's going to be speaking here next week, he observed the behaviors of this other pastor, and I said, "Hey, let me give you some advice." And I would commend this to you and the church.
32:05-32:08
To watch complimenting the appearance of the opposite sex.
32:10-32:17
Certainly we want to compliment conduct and character, but we need to watch that we're not complimenting appearance.
32:18-32:19
That just opens a door.
32:21-32:26
You know, the pastor is like, "Hey, miss, I noticed that you changed your hair.
32:26-32:32
You look beautiful today." That's just not a door that we even need to unlock.
32:33-32:40
I'd encourage you, compliment character, compliment conduct, watch complimenting the appearance of the opposite sex.
32:43-33:14
flattery, saying things to someone for my benefit. In other words, people pleasing allows me to use people. It allows me to use people. In letter E, verse 5, he says, "I never came with words of flattery as you know, nor with a pretext for greed." Right down to the word greed. You know, you give the crowds what they want and you echo their opinions and And you stroke their egos and whatever you do to get people in.
33:15-33:15
That's what we're at.
33:15-33:20
We just got to get people in because the more people we get in, the bigger the offering is going to be.
33:20-33:26
And more money, and the more money that comes in for the church, I'm going to get a raise.
33:26-33:27
And that's more money for me.
33:28-33:31
And so many ministries are motivated by greed.
33:32-33:32
It's about money.
33:32-33:33
It's about money.
33:33-33:34
Get more money.
33:34-33:35
Got to get after the people.
33:35-33:36
Got to get their money.
33:36-33:37
Got to get the people.
33:37-33:37
Got to get their money.
33:40-33:41
Motivated by greed.
33:43-33:47
That's why we have a system set up, thank you to Ken Frederick, we have a system set up at our church.
33:47-33:53
I don't touch the money, I don't know who gives what, I never want to be motivated by greed so we've taken that off the table.
33:55-33:57
I don't handle the money, I don't touch the money.
33:58-34:01
Because so many ministries are motivated by greed.
34:03-34:10
And here Paul is saying, with these five sins of people pleasing ministry, Paul is saying, This wasn't us, you know that.
34:10-34:12
We were with you, you know what we were like.
34:12-34:14
These were not our motives.
34:15-34:16
We had pure motives.
34:19-34:20
Motives mean everything.
34:21-34:23
I saw this in the prison ministry one time, I'll never forget this.
34:24-34:31
I had this guy come in, he was a first timer, and you could tell that he just came to cause problems.
34:31-34:37
He came in, he had this little smirk on his face, and he's looking around, right when we're about to get started.
34:37-34:40
He goes, "Let me ask you a question," looking at his buddies.
34:40-34:44
He goes, "How much do they pay you to come in here?
34:45-35:02
How much do they pay you?" And I said, "How much do they pay me to come in here?" And he was elbowing his buddies, he's like, "How much?" I said, "I've never received a dime to come in here." His jaw hit the floor.
35:02-35:06
He goes, "They're not paying you to come in here?" I said, "No, I'm a volunteer here.
35:07-35:10
In fact, we actually pay for the Bibles that we give people.
35:10-35:16
It actually costs us money to come in here." That guy didn't say a word the rest of the night.
35:16-35:20
Why? He had this idea that we were coming in with some goofy motives.
35:20-35:29
Like, "Oh, you're not being paid to be here." I'm not saying that a preacher shouldn't get paid. I'm not saying that.
35:30-35:32
Those are five sins of people pleasing ministry.
35:33-35:39
And not only is not sinning a big deal, I see a bigger deal in this passage.
35:41-35:48
In verse 4, Paul says, "We've been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel." That's a bigger deal.
35:50-35:51
You want to please God?
35:53-35:55
Well, then don't worry about what people want.
35:56-35:58
Share the gospel that you've been entrusted with.
36:01-36:22
God says, I have this precious message of eternal life in My Son that calls people to confess their sin and repent from sin and receive eternal life and enter into a love relationship with Me that starts now and goes all the way into eternity.
36:22-36:24
A glorious hope for your future.
36:24-36:26
I have this awesome message.
36:26-36:29
And God says, here, it's yours.
36:30-36:34
giving it to you, and I'm trusting you to get it out.
36:35-36:40
That's why at Harvest Bible Chapel, we're committed to expository preaching.
36:40-36:43
I don't sit in my office and think, I wonder what people wanna hear this week.
36:43-36:45
Getting on the news, what are the hot topics?
36:46-36:47
I don't do that.
36:48-36:50
And those of you that have been with us, see, we walk through the text.
36:50-36:51
Why?
36:51-36:52
Because I wanna please God.
36:53-36:54
I don't wanna please people.
36:54-37:00
And I know if I'm going to please God, what I need to do is just share the message that He's entrusted me with.
37:01-37:03
And God says, "Here, Jeff, here's a Bible.
37:03-37:07
Tell people what it says." Don't take shortcuts.
37:08-37:09
Don't change the message.
37:10-37:11
Just preach it.
37:13-37:17
And finally for today, why am I done with people pleasing and you should be too?
37:17-37:19
Well, because I can't please everyone.
37:20-37:23
Secondly, because people pleasing tempts me to sacrifice my integrity.
37:24-37:30
Number three, because God pleasing frees me to truly love people.
37:31-37:36
God-pleasing frees me to truly love people.
37:37-37:42
Because I know at this point in the message, I know somebody here is offended.
37:43-37:48
And somebody is going to leave here today and they're going to say, "You know what our pastor preached about this morning?
37:50-37:52
That we shouldn't care about people." That's what he said.
37:52-37:56
He stood up there and he said We shouldn't care about people.
37:58-38:00
And that's not what I'm saying at all.
38:02-38:04
Because here's the glorious truth.
38:05-38:10
Pleasing God frees me to truly love people.
38:11-38:12
Look at verses 6-8.
38:14-38:21
He says, "Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, that we could have made demands as apostles of Christ.
38:22-38:26
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
38:28-38:40
So being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the Gospel of God, but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
38:41-38:43
Please hear me.
38:43-38:45
I know I'm taking time off in July.
38:47-38:49
That's why I've got to get a lot of stuff out today.
38:50-38:51
I appreciate your grace in that.
38:55-39:02
People pleasing and loving people are two completely different things.
39:03-39:05
And you see it in this text.
39:07-39:13
People pleasing and loving people are two completely different things.
39:15-39:17
Because do you notice what he says in verse 6?
39:17-39:18
Look at this again very closely.
39:19-39:40
says, "Nor did we seek glory from people." Hear this, because you're going to miss everything if you miss this. People pleasing is really about pleasing myself. People pleasing is really about pleasing myself. I want glory from people. Why? Because I want to feel good.
39:41-39:49
Because I want to feel important. Because I want to think that I'm a big deal. So here's Here's the difference between people pleasing and loving people.
39:51-39:53
Or I should say people pleasing and God pleasing.
39:55-39:58
People pleasing is when you want something from people.
40:00-40:02
Like glory, admiration.
40:03-40:06
People pleasing is when you want something from people.
40:06-40:10
God pleasing is when you give love to people.
40:10-40:11
Do you see the difference?
40:12-40:13
You see the difference?
40:14-40:23
He pleasing says, "I want to get something from you." God pleasing says, "I want to give love to you." You're like, "Love? You mentioned love.
40:23-40:27
What do you mean by love?" Look at verse 7.
40:27-40:28
Here's the kind of love.
40:28-40:41
He says, "But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children." There is no greater picture of love and gentleness than a nursing mother.
40:41-40:42
There's no greater picture.
40:43-40:46
This isn't a hard sell for this church.
40:46-40:51
I know in our small group, our small group is like the little old woman that lived in a shoe.
40:51-40:53
We have so many children, we don't know what to do.
40:53-40:56
And there's just like, and I'm not complaining, I love it.
40:56-41:01
There's just like babies and toddlers just like flying around it literally, flying around everywhere.
41:01-41:02
I love it.
41:03-41:04
That's a sign of life.
41:05-41:22
Something else I see in small group, you know, when we're sitting around talking about these questions, I see these moms, you know, bouncing these babies on their knees and holding these babies And there is not a better picture of gentle love than the one that Paul brings up here.
41:22-41:25
He gives like a mother nursing her own children.
41:25-41:31
When you think about that picture of nursing her children, isn't that awesome?
41:31-41:36
That mother is literally feeding that child with herself.
41:38-41:42
She is literally feeding a child with her own body.
41:42-41:44
What a picture of love!
41:47-41:48
That's what moms do.
41:51-41:56
You know, when Erin was pregnant with Cade, the doctors told her that she should abort him.
41:57-42:16
Because of all the health problems that she had with the pregnancy - Erin's diabetic, I'm sure many of you knew that - the pregnancy was so ravaging her body, the doctor said, "You really..." Several doctors said, "You really should have an abortion. You should have an abortion." Those of you who know Erin, what were the chances that she was going to have an abortion?
42:17-42:19
Zero. That's the picture of love.
42:22-42:44
A mother will give anything for her children. And Erin said, "Even if it means losing my eyesight, even if it means losing my life, you weren't going to talk her into killing a baby to save herself. You weren't going to do it." That's the picture of giving, "sacrificing, pouring myself out" kind of love.
42:46-42:50
Paul says, "Listen, church, that's the kind of love that we have for you.
42:52-43:14
That's the kind of love that you've seen from us." That's why he says in verse 8, that was Paul's illustration in verse 8, he says, "Like a mother we gave." He says, "Affectionately desirous of you, we are ready to share with you not only the the gospel of God but also our own selves because you become very dear to us.
43:16-43:30
God-pleasing results in truly loving people because people-pleasing means I'm trying to get something for myself from you.
43:33-43:49
I want to love you in the Lord and the way that's going to happen is sharing the gospel with you. By pouring myself out for you, and I could bring any one of the elders of this church up front, they would say the exact same thing. I could bring any of the ministry team leaders from our church up front, they would say the same thing. I love this church.
43:52-44:10
Affectionately desirous for you. As I close, I have to address something that I'm sure is on a lot of people's minds, but on Friday, our Supreme Court, called it to make same-sex marriage legal across 50 states.
44:11-44:15
And the question that's on everybody's minds is how do we handle that?
44:16-44:18
How do we handle that as a church?
44:19-44:20
What do we do about that?
44:21-44:22
Let me say this off the top.
44:23-44:26
As far as the church goes, it doesn't change anything.
44:27-44:28
It doesn't change anything.
44:29-44:31
We're still going to passionately proclaim God's Word.
44:31-44:33
We're still going to passionately worship.
44:33-44:34
We're still going to passionately pray.
44:35-44:37
We're still going to passionately share the Gospel with people.
44:37-44:39
It doesn't change anything here, guys.
44:40-44:40
Okay?
44:40-44:41
Nothing changes.
44:42-44:44
Like, well, how do I respond to this?
44:45-44:50
How do I respond without panicking and without caving?
44:51-44:53
How do we respond to that?
44:54-44:56
We've seen reactions, haven't we?
44:57-44:58
If you watch the news.
45:00-45:05
You saw in Washington the celebrations and the tears of joy and the partying.
45:07-45:13
You've seen from some conservatives disgust, from others doom and gloom.
45:15-45:17
The question is church, what do we do about this?
45:18-45:19
What do we do about this?
45:19-45:20
How do we handle this?
45:21-45:24
I read an article a couple of weeks ago.
45:25-45:28
I believe it was from Desiring God.
45:28-45:29
John Piper wrote it.
45:29-45:36
and was talking about how we handled this cultural clash.
45:37-45:44
And there was a phrase in this article that just stuck with me, that's just been running laps through my head.
45:45-45:47
And I've meditated on this and thought about it.
45:49-45:52
But this was the statement in this article.
45:54-46:00
He said, "I love you, but this is wrong." I thought about that.
46:00-46:03
I love you, but this is wrong.
46:05-46:07
And isn't that really the gospel anyways?
46:08-46:16
Whatever the sin is, Christians have a tendency to pick on homosexuality because that's a sin more commonly outside of the church.
46:16-46:22
We'll throw rocks at that one, but when it comes to gossiping and lying and cheating and stuff like that, those are the more acceptable sins.
46:23-46:26
And sin is sin. It is.
46:26-46:33
Whatever sin you're dealing with when you share the gospel, doesn't the gospel call for any sin, confession and repentance?
46:34-46:35
Doesn't the gospel call for that?
46:37-46:45
So the approach to dealing with those in that sin is no different than the way you would approach somebody living in any type of other sin.
46:46-46:54
To say, "Listen, I love you. I love you, but this is wrong." I thought about all the ways that we messed that phrase up.
46:55-47:05
Because we've seen it. We see people say, "I hate you, and this is wrong." And they might not say, "I hate you." But that's the tone that's communicated.
47:06-47:10
"Disgust. You people disgust me. You people say..." That's hatred.
47:11-47:13
That's just flat-out hatred. There's no room for that.
47:14-47:20
But the mindset of, "I hate you, and this is wrong," is an all-truth, no-grace response.
47:21-47:24
It's the people that say, "Well, look, this is what the Bible says.
47:24-47:29
I have no tolerance for these people." And that's all truth and no grace.
47:30-47:30
And that's wrong.
47:32-47:40
The other response is, "I love you and this is right." That's all grace and no truth.
47:40-47:44
We have to shelve some things that we know are clearly taught in Scripture.
47:46-47:55
"I love you and this is right." Grace and truth say, "I love you.
47:56-47:58
I love you." This is wrong.
48:00-48:07
It has to start with genuine love for people.
48:08-48:14
If you can't reach out to someone in love, you need to do some business with the Lord.
48:16-48:19
It has to start with a genuine love for people.
48:19-48:24
And church, you worry about that, and you watch the Holy Spirit deal with the sin thing.
48:25-48:31
Because you see, the timing of this message couldn't have been more ironic.
48:33-48:37
People-pleasing would have us say, "I celebrate with you," right?
48:38-48:41
Wouldn't we be popular if we put that on our website?
48:41-48:51
Harvest Bible Chapel celebrates with the Supreme Court, homosexuals across the nation, we celebrate! We would be really popular.
48:52-49:10
That's people-pleasing. God-pleasing would have us say, "I love you and I want God's best for you." So I'm done with people-pleasing because I can't do it in many ways.
49:12-49:14
Because people pleasing leads me to sin.
49:16-49:22
Because God pleasing allows me to truly love people.
49:23-49:24
I'm done with people pleasing.
49:25-49:25
Who's with me?
49:26-49:26
Anybody with me?
49:27-49:28
Let's pray.
49:29-49:37
Father in heaven, well He lived in a crazy time and I know Christians in any generation at any time, any place in the world can say the same thing.
49:39-49:39
Times changed.
49:40-49:44
We live in a lost and dying world.
49:45-49:51
And you have entrusted us with the message of hope and life and love in Jesus Christ.
49:52-49:56
Father I pray for myself.
49:57-49:59
I pray for my brothers and sisters here.
50:00-50:02
That we would have a funeral today.
50:03-50:05
That we would be done with people pleasing.
50:06-50:13
that we would be done being so concerned about what others think that we become less concerned with what you think.
50:13-50:17
We care more about the opinions of others than we care about Your Word.
50:18-50:20
God, let us be done with that, please.
50:22-50:38
Father, help us to see as Paul and Silas and Timothy experienced and recorded for us that we have in Your precious Word, that when we're done with people-pleasing, when we're done looking to use people We stroke our own egos.
50:39-50:43
Only then are we truly free to love people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
50:45-50:54
That whether their sin is homosexuality or gossip or whatever it is, you have not called us to be harsh.
50:55-50:57
You have not called us to hate.
50:58-51:00
You have called us to love people.
51:01-51:02
To be gentle.
51:02-51:05
Even with people who would oppose us.
51:07-51:43
And to present this gospel that you've entrusted us with that says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, and have everlasting life." Show us, God, please, how we as a church can love people in the midst of the controversy and the conflict in a way that would imitate the example that Jesus Christ gave us.
51:45-51:48
Not just in word, but in action.
51:49-51:52
We pray these things in Jesus' name, Amen.
