Review:
5 Reality Checks about Christians and Conflice:
- Conflicts happen among God's People.
- Conflicts are not always as Simple as "he's Right, and he;s Wrong.
- Conflicts come when my Strengths become my Weaknesses.
- Conflicts can be Used by God.
- It’s never over: Pray for Reconciliation.
Rom 8:28 | Rom 12:18
Col 4:10 - Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, and Mark the cousin of Barnabas (concerning whom you have received instructions—if he comes to you, welcome him)...
2 Tim 4:11 - Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:00-00:12
When I was a kid, I was over at a friend's house playing soccer, and while we were playing, this friend's mother was keeping score.
00:12-00:13
We were all sitting outside, right?
00:13-00:17
And she's sitting on the deck, and they had like carrots and dip and munchies and stuff.
00:18-00:23
She took a carrot and dipped it in like the ranch dip and was keeping score on the window.
00:25-00:33
And at the time, I commented, "My mother would never do that." Now, here's how I heard that in my mind.
00:34-00:35
"Wow, that's really cool.
00:36-00:41
My mom wouldn't do something like that." But here's how this lady heard it.
00:42-00:54
"My mother would never do something like that." And this woman was really angry with me for years over that comment.
00:57-01:04
And this friend of mine said, "Why don't you like Jeff?" And it came back to the carrot and the dip comment.
01:04-01:06
My mother would never do that.
01:06-01:10
And this friend had said, "That's not what he meant by that.
01:10-01:11
"Is that what you were, that's why you were mad at him?
01:12-01:20
"That is not what he meant by that at all." And it was explained, and this lady was like, "Oh, okay," and like totally let it go.
01:20-01:25
And that worked out really well for me because this lady eventually became my mother-in-law.
01:27-01:31
And the friend is now my wife, obviously, Erin.
01:34-01:40
You laugh because it didn't happen to you.
01:43-01:59
But the truth is, if every one of us stood up here and told a story about some conflict that happened in your lives, probably the rest of us might think, "That's silly." But when it's you in the middle of the conflict, it's not silly, is it?
02:00-02:01
It's painful.
02:03-02:07
And we're going to look at a passage in Acts 15.
02:08-02:11
We are committed at Harvest Bible Chapel to expository preaching.
02:12-02:15
We go through the Bible verse by verse.
02:15-02:19
And sometimes, that's easier than others.
02:19-02:23
I rather would have skipped this passage to be honest with you, because this is a hard one.
02:25-02:39
The title of the message as we're studying this year, "The Unstoppable Church," the title of the message is "Unstoppable Despite Conflict." Just as a quick review, we went through Acts 13-14.
02:40-02:42
You remember the story in Acts 13-14.
02:43-02:46
Paul and Barnabas and Mark It's a mission trip.
02:47-02:52
And they get back just in time for an attack on the church.
02:54-03:00
We saw in Acts 15, there were people claiming that you had to obey the Old Testament law in order to be saved.
03:02-03:12
And they said, "We've got to take this up with the big dogs." They went down to Jerusalem and had what we call the Jerusalem Council, where the verdict was, salvation is by grace through faith.
03:13-03:17
And they said, "Jews, don't trouble the Gentiles with legalism.
03:18-03:25
Don't come along and enforce these rules." But then they said, "Gentiles, don't trouble the Jews with your freedom.
03:25-03:28
You come from a history of idolatry.
03:29-03:39
You've got to let some of that go because some of those things can be offensive to Jews." And it was for the sake of unity that these things were said.
03:41-03:47
Despite the obstacles, The gospel hasn't lost any steam because the church is unstoppable.
03:47-03:56
And you would think that after coming from the Jerusalem Council, and we've reached this point of agreement, you would think at this point it's going to be smooth sailing.
03:57-03:59
Everybody's going to get along fabulously.
04:01-04:03
And unfortunately, that's not the case.
04:03-04:04
Look at verse 36 with me.
04:06-04:10
It says, "And after some days..." How many days? Well, the Bible doesn't really say.
04:11-04:27
After some days, Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaim the Word of the Lord and see how they are." They're talking about that trip that we studied in Acts 13-14.
04:27-04:37
They said, "Let's go back there and let's check on the people that we evangelized." And what a wild trip that was.
04:38-04:40
We'll talk about that more in a few moments here.
04:41-04:42
Verse 37.
04:45-04:51
"Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark." Okay, you remember him?
04:51-04:53
We saw him in Acts 13.
04:53-04:56
He went with them on the first trip, partially.
04:56-05:00
And in fact, Mark was Barnabas' cousin.
05:02-05:09
And the Greek verb where it says here that Barnabas wanted to take with them, The Greek verb tense indicates that this was persistent.
05:10-05:14
Like Barnabas was constantly, "Hey, let's take Mark.
05:14-05:15
You know my cousin? Let's take Mark.
05:15-05:25
Come on, let's take Mark with us." But if you remember the story in Acts 13, you can kind of guess what's coming next.
05:26-05:38
Verse 38 says, "But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia, had not gone with them to do the work.
05:41-05:42
This is in Acts 13.
05:43-05:43
Remember?
05:44-05:55
They're on this mission trip, and they get to this place called Perga which was in Pamphylia, and the Bible says that Mark left them to return to Jerusalem.
05:55-05:58
And that's significant because they launched from Antioch.
05:58-06:02
They took Mark with them from Jerusalem to Antioch first of all, and then they left from Antioch.
06:03-06:06
Mark didn't just go back to temporary home.
06:06-06:08
Mark went back to home-home.
06:09-06:13
In essence, Mark went back to Mom on this trip.
06:13-06:16
So Barnabas is like, "Hey, mission trip. Good idea.
06:16-06:20
You know what? Let's get Mark and we'll go on this mission trip." And Paul's like, "Um, no.
06:21-06:26
That's not going to happen." Why did Mark ditch them?
06:28-06:29
Well, if God wanted us to know, He would have told us.
06:30-06:31
We don't know the reason.
06:33-06:35
and there's different scholars have different ideas.
06:36-06:38
Was it he didn't want the Gentiles to come to Christ?
06:38-06:40
I don't really see that as a reason.
06:40-06:47
Some people think, well, it was a dangerous journey from where they would have launched out of Perga and Pamphylia.
06:48-06:49
So maybe he was afraid.
06:49-06:49
We don't know.
06:51-06:54
But here's something we do know that's gonna be very clear in this passage.
06:54-06:58
We do know that the reason that Mark left them wasn't an emergency.
06:59-07:00
We do know that for sure.
07:00-07:01
We'll see that here in the text.
07:02-07:03
But it wasn't like Mark got deathly ill.
07:04-07:05
Like, we've got to get this guy to a hospital.
07:05-07:09
It's not like Mark got word that somebody back home died.
07:09-07:11
Like, "Hey Mark, your brother just died.
07:11-07:14
I need you to get home." It wasn't anything like that.
07:14-07:18
Otherwise, Paul totally would have given him an excuse there, right?
07:18-07:19
Don't you think?
07:19-07:26
Paul would have been like, "Yeah, absolutely, your trip got cut short due to an emergency." But you see, it's very clear in the text.
07:26-07:27
Look at it again.
07:30-07:37
"The work was one who," verse 38, "who had withdrawn from them." Literally, that stood aloof.
07:38-07:40
He just detached himself.
07:40-07:47
Again, in case you missed it, the end of verse 38, "had not gone with them to the work." He just refused to go.
07:49-07:59
Verse 39 says, "And there arose a sharp disagreement that they separated from each other.
08:01-08:02
Sharp disagreement.
08:02-08:03
This is strong.
08:03-08:07
This wasn't, "Eh, you want to take Mark and I really don't want to take Mark.
08:07-08:12
We're just going to have to agree to disagree on this matter, Barnabas." It wasn't that at all.
08:12-08:14
It was a sharp disagreement.
08:15-08:16
Barnabas is like, "Come on, man!
08:16-08:20
We've got to take Mark!" And Paul's like, "We are not taking Mark!
08:21-08:22
Come on, man. Let's take Mark.
08:22-08:37
We are not taking him." Mark 13, verse 39, "Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus." That's heading southwest.
08:37-08:40
That's actually the same route as the first trip.
08:41-08:43
You can see that in Acts 13, verse 4.
08:43-08:58
So Paul's like, "He's not going." And Barnabas says, "He is going, and I'm taking him with me." He just takes Mark and they go on the same route that Paul and Barnabas went previous.
09:00-09:07
Verse 40 says, "But Paul chose Silas." Who was Silas? He was a leader in the Jerusalem church.
09:07-09:09
He was a prophet. He was a Jew. He was a Roman citizen.
09:10-09:15
He came to Antioch with the Jerusalem Council letter we see in Acts 15.22.
09:15-09:22
But Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.
09:23-09:29
And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
09:31-09:34
Okay, so Barnabas and Mark went southwest.
09:36-09:40
Syria and Cilicia meant that Paul and Silas would have gone northwest.
09:41-09:42
And they parted ways.
09:44-09:51
This is, sadly, this is the last mention of Barnabas in the book of Acts.
09:52-09:56
And it was a beautiful partnership that did not end peacefully.
09:57-10:02
Apparently, Barnabas never teamed with Paul again.
10:05-10:14
You're like, "Well, Pastor Jeff, that wasn't a feel-good story so soon after Thanksgiving." The point is, these people dealt with abandonment.
10:15-10:16
They dealt with conflict.
10:17-10:21
These people, in God's Word that we read, they dealt with rifts in friendships.
10:24-10:24
Just like us.
10:27-10:32
Like I said, I would have been glad to skip this passage because this is sort of a bummer compared to the other things we've studied in Acts, right?
10:33-10:40
Like the Holy Spirit coming, and people being healed, and people getting saved by the thousands.
10:41-10:44
And then we get to this passage.
10:47-10:54
But, this has so much practical wisdom to teach us about conflict in the church.
10:55-10:57
I want you to jot these things down on your outline.
10:57-11:03
Five reality checks about Christians and conflict.
11:04-11:08
Number one, conflicts happen among God's people.
11:10-11:11
Okay, conflicts happen among God's people.
11:13-11:22
Well, I'm going to go to the church and everybody there is going to be a Christian and everybody there gets along and everybody is going to love me and I'm going to love everybody and we're never going to have any problems.
11:22-11:23
Anybody have that experience?
11:25-11:30
You see, even when we agree on theology, do you think Paul and Barnabas agreed on theology?
11:31-11:34
How many people think Paul and Barnabas the same doctrinal statement.
11:35-11:35
Okay, I do.
11:37-11:46
Even when we are committed to evangelism and discipleship, how many people would say that Paul and Barnabas were probably equally committed to the Great Commission?
11:47-11:48
I think so.
11:49-11:58
Even when we are passionate about Jesus and His church, how many people would say I think Paul and Barnabas both were passionate about Jesus and His church?
11:58-11:59
I think that they were.
12:00-12:02
These guys were so tight.
12:03-12:12
And when you think about it, Barnabas would have had such a special friendship with Paul, because do you remember, Paul was out like, "Oh, you want to kill Christians?
12:12-12:14
Let me hold your coat." Do you remember that?
12:14-12:18
And then he came to Christ, but the church was scared to death of him.
12:18-12:30
So Paul's like trying to get in the church, and the church was like, "Not welcome." And Paul's trying to get in the church, and the church is like, "Don't let him in." Do you remember who came along and stuck up for Paul when nobody else would?
12:30-12:31
Do you remember who that was?
12:32-13:04
Barnabas right so you know that these guys would have had a really tight friendship Paul would have always had done it down on his mind like Nobody else trusted me Barnabas, but you stuck up for me. You gave me a chance when nobody else would and Then the mission trip do you remember the mission trip? We've referenced it a couple times Acts 13 and 14 could you imagine the stories they told like yeah the first place we went there was the crazy magician guy You know bar Jesus and then like like Paul do you remember that you're like by the power of the Holy Spirit like struck the guy Do you remember how crazy that was?
13:04-13:08
And do you remember, we went to the next town and everybody started worshiping us.
13:08-13:10
They were like, "Hey, you're Zeus and you're Hermes." Do you remember that?
13:11-13:11
Like crazy.
13:13-13:19
Oh, and then we went to like the next place and Paul got stoned and we all were standing around thinking he was dead.
13:19-13:20
Fun times, right?
13:22-13:23
And here's the point.
13:23-13:25
These weren't two like acquaintances.
13:27-13:29
These weren't two people that bumped into each other in the church lobby.
13:30-13:34
These were two of the tightest friends that you could find.
13:36-13:39
The Bible never hides these types of things.
13:40-13:47
The Bible tells us of these people - their weaknesses and their failures - people who we would otherwise idealize.
13:48-13:54
When the truth is, there's only one person you read about in the Bible who you really can't idealize, and that's Jesus Christ Himself.
13:55-14:07
But for the rest of the people in the Bible, If we had problems just like us, the point here is if it can happen to these guys, it can happen to us, right?
14:08-14:21
If a conflict can come between people like Paul and Barnabas, we are not immune to having conflict coming in the tight relationships that exist and are forming in this room.
14:22-14:23
Conflicts happen among God's people.
14:24-14:26
Second reality check.
14:28-14:33
The conflicts are not always as simple as he's right and he's wrong.
14:36-14:36
Okay?
14:37-14:42
So, we're going to give you both sides of the argument, and then you're going to pick a side and you have to vote.
14:44-14:45
You have to vote.
14:45-14:46
Let's hear both sides.
14:47-14:49
The conversation would have gone something like this.
14:51-14:52
Barnabas comes along.
14:53-14:59
Barnabas goes, "Hey, let's take Mark with us." Paul's like, what did he say?
15:00-15:04
"No way, Jose." Your Bible does not use those exact words, but that's the essence of what he said.
15:05-15:10
"No way. We are not taking Mark with us." And Barnabas - look, man.
15:11-15:12
He failed one time.
15:14-15:17
Are we going to condemn him for the rest of his life because he failed one time? Really?
15:18-15:20
Are those the kind of people we are, Paul?
15:20-15:23
We're going to condemn him because he failed one time?
15:23-15:25
I think we should give him another chance.
15:27-15:35
Paul says, "Mark deserted us "on the last trip that we went on, okay?
15:36-15:39
"It wasn't like this was something that happened "when he was a kid.
15:39-15:42
"This is something that just happened, all right?
15:42-15:48
"And I'm not gonna go on this mission trip "and pack his bags and have him run home to mama again.
15:49-15:59
"Not gonna happen." So Barnabas would have been like, "Look, I'm related to him.
16:01-16:06
I know him better than you and I can really see how he's growing.
16:08-16:15
He should get another chance." And Paul's saying, "Look, this is mission work, man. This is important.
16:16-16:30
Okay? And it's not for everybody. It's not for people that get halfway down the road and decide, "I don't really know if I'm really that committed to the mission." Like, look, man, this is serious business, Barnabas.
16:30-16:35
We're not putting caps on tubes of toothpaste here.
16:35-16:37
We're making disciples for Jesus Christ.
16:37-16:41
So we can't do this, man.
16:44-16:57
Then I see Barnabas saying, "Well, you know, Paul, Proverbs 24, 16 says, "For the righteous falls seven times and rises again." Then I see Paul saying, "Oh, you want to quit Proverbs?
16:58-16:59
How about Proverbs 25.19?
17:00-17:14
It says, "Trusting in a treacherous man in times of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips." If we want to quit Proverbs, it warns us about people like Mark.
17:17-17:18
Here's the question, who was right?
17:21-17:30
How many people would say, "In this argument, I think that Paul was right." How many people, there's no right or wrong answer here, okay?
17:31-17:33
Don't be shy. How many people are like, "I'm with Paul.
17:34-17:35
I think Paul was right.
17:35-17:46
Can't go on a mission trip with somebody that's not ready." All right, now how many people say, "I think Barnabas was right." You've got to give people another chance.
17:46-17:50
One screw-up doesn't mean you're disqualified for the rest of everything for eternity.
17:51-17:53
All right, Barnabas people? All right.
17:56-18:12
I've done some reading this week. Some people are like, "Well, Paul was the apostle, so Barnabas should have yielded to his authority." And verse 40, you notice in verse 40, it says that Paul and Silas were commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.
18:13-18:16
It's a phrase that is not used about Barnabas and Mark.
18:16-18:26
So some people say, "It seems that the church sort of put a stamp of approval on Paul and Silas that they did not give Barnabas and Mark." I don't know.
18:28-18:29
Here's what I do know.
18:30-18:32
The Bible doesn't really say who was right and who was wrong.
18:33-18:34
And I think that's the point.
18:35-18:36
I think that's the point.
18:37-18:42
I think in this argument, both people were right about some things.
18:43-18:45
I think both people were right about some things.
18:47-18:50
And I think both people were wrong about some things. You see that?
18:51-19:28
Do you see how both people are like, "You know what, maybe you're not thinking about this in the right way." This is a truth that you need to tuck away in the future, because when you hear of two people in the church having a conflict, maybe it's not as simple as, "This guy's obviously right, and this guy's obviously wrong." it's not that simple today. And to really land the conviction plane home, when you're in an argument with somebody, when you're having conflict with somebody in the church, maybe you're not entirely right.
19:30-19:32
And maybe the other person isn't entirely wrong.
19:34-19:44
Because I think we can agree that that's the situation we have with Paul and Barnabas. Conflicts are not always as simple as He's right and he's wrong.
19:46-19:48
Five reality checks about Christians and conflict.
19:48-19:53
Number three, conflicts come when my strengths become my weaknesses.
19:57-19:59
Conflicts come when my strengths become my weaknesses.
19:59-20:00
Here's what I mean, church.
20:00-20:01
We all have strengths.
20:02-20:02
We all have strengths.
20:02-20:05
Every single one of us have strengths in different areas.
20:05-20:07
But here's the thing about strengths.
20:07-20:09
Every strength has an inherent weakness.
20:12-20:17
And when my strength's weakness becomes my focus, conflict is coming.
20:18-20:19
Like, what do you mean by that?
20:21-20:23
Well, here's what I mean, just to illustrate.
20:23-20:25
Here's conflicts that happen in the church.
20:26-20:32
Mr. Err-towards-truth versus Mr. Err-towards-grace.
20:35-20:38
You know, we voted just a couple of minutes ago on who you thought was right.
20:39-20:41
There's no right answer.
20:43-20:45
But who you think is right in that argument says a lot about you.
20:47-20:54
The Bible says that Jesus was full, is full, of grace and truth in John 1.
20:55-20:58
Jesus wasn't like on one side of that spectrum or the other.
20:58-21:05
He was 100% both, but the truth is even as God's people filled with the Holy Spirit, don't we have a tendency to sort of fall on one side or the other?
21:05-21:07
Don't we? Some people are more truth people.
21:07-21:10
The Bible says, the Bible says, the Bible says.
21:11-21:11
All in favor of the Bible?
21:12-21:13
Yeah, Harvest Bible Chapel's our middle name.
21:13-21:14
Yeah, I'm in favor of the Bible.
21:16-21:26
But then there's other people that are like, "Grace, man. Truth, yes, but grace." Because not everything is black and white.
21:26-21:29
Not everything is as cut and dry as you want to make it.
21:30-21:31
Grace and truth.
21:33-21:40
I was talking about this passage with Aaron this week, And I'm like, I think I'm on Paul's side here.
21:41-21:42
I'm on Paul's side.
21:42-21:45
You can't go on a mission trip after somebody bails on you.
21:45-21:46
You can't do that, man.
21:46-21:47
This is important.
21:47-21:49
And I'm on Paul's side.
21:49-21:56
Aaron said, you think you're on Paul's side, but you're not.
21:57-21:58
I'm like, what are you talking about?
21:58-21:59
Of course.
21:59-21:59
He goes, no.
22:00-22:04
She goes, you think you're a Paul, but you're a Barnabas, 100%.
22:06-22:09
And I got thinking about that, we talked about it some more, and you know she's right.
22:10-22:12
I want to think that I'm Paul, but I don't act that way.
22:14-22:17
I'm more of a Barnabas in that way.
22:19-22:26
Mr. - here's another clash - Mr. Gift of Go With the Flow versus Mr. Gift of Administration.
22:28-22:30
As you can guess, I've had some of these conflicts.
22:32-22:35
My old church, wonderful, wonderful guy, elder in the church.
22:35-22:37
He had the gift of administration.
22:37-22:42
Wonderful guy, and it's a gift that I envy because I have like none of it.
22:43-22:48
I'm Mr. Go with the flow, so I sometimes butt heads with organized people.
22:50-22:51
We got into this thing.
22:51-23:08
It wasn't like this like knock down, drag out thing, but we got into this little like about our church's preschool, how to get the money from the tuition lockbox in the preschool over to the church office where it would be locked in a safe there after it was counted.
23:09-23:30
So he's like, "Alright, what process should we take here?" And he goes, "Here's my proposal." He had like this three-page, 14-point step-by-step on here's the people and the personnel, and the code keys turned at the same time, the secret password and all this stuff.
23:30-23:32
And I'm looking at this.
23:32-23:33
He goes, what do you think we should do?
23:34-23:38
I said, I think we should give the preschool teacher a key and have her carry it over.
23:39-23:41
Oh, you can't just do that.
23:41-23:45
And I'm like, we're trusting her with our children, but we're not going to trust her with a couple hundred dollars in cash?
23:47-23:50
Like, I'm not bashing the guy.
23:50-23:53
I'm saying he needs to pull me in the direction that I need pulled.
23:54-23:56
But you can see where conflicts can come.
23:57-24:05
That wasn't really a right or wrong thing, but it was a "let's get super organized" and I'm like why are we wasting our time making red tape?
24:06-24:07
It happens.
24:10-24:22
Really, the issue in this passage that we're looking at - the conflict where strengths become weakness - Paul v. Barnabas here - Mr. All About the Mission versus Mr. All About the People.
24:24-24:25
You see that, don't you?
24:26-24:29
This point in Paul's ministry, he was like, the mission, the mission, the mission, the mission, the mission, the mission.
24:29-24:30
Jesus gave us a mission.
24:31-24:32
Jesus gave us a mission.
24:32-25:04
Jesus said, "Go make disciples." Jesus said, "You And Paul's like, "We've got to stay on the mission, man!" You can see Paul in this passage quoting Jesus.
25:05-25:06
What did Jesus say?
25:06-25:11
No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
25:11-25:12
Jesus said that.
25:13-25:15
And Barnabas is like, "You know what else Jesus said?
25:15-25:28
'But he who is without sin cast the first stone.'" So you can see how two people with such deep and different passions are eventually going to butt heads because strengths can become weaknesses.
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The hard-on-the-truth person can be very black and white about everything.
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But the all-about people - this is where I fall - are willing to compromise some things on the mission because of relationships.
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"Conflicts come when my strengths become my weaknesses." Okay.
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Who's ready for some good news?
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Number four, conflicts can be used by God.
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Conflicts can be used by God.
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And this is really the big takeaway from the passage.
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If you're like, why did Luke include this passage?
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Why did he make sure that we knew about this?
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The big takeaway from the passage is just simply this.
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God can use conflict.
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You can imagine Satan once again, he saw this fight, you can imagine Satan like, "Oh, this is great.
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This is great.
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The missionaries are splitting up.
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This is awesome." You can imagine Satan like, "This is perfect." Then like five minutes later, Satan's like, "Oh, they've doubled.
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It went from two people going one place, now there's four people going two places.
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(grunts)
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Backfire, right?" Romans 8.28 We know that God works all things for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
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Now listen, church.
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Don't make the wrong application point here, okay?
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"Oh, I know where you're going with this, Pastor Jeff.
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So you're saying if I want the ministry to double, if I want Harvest Bible Chapel's ministry and impact to grow, I'm just going to have to start fights because that's how God works, right?" No.
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That would be like saying, "Do you believe that God can use you even if you're sick?" You're like, "Yeah, I think God can use me even if I'm sick." Well, when we're going up to the hospital and we're licking the floors, you are.
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That's presumption.
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God can use these things.
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God can use conflict.
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That doesn't mean we go looking for it.
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Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." That's the goal.
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But even in that passage, notice sometimes it isn't always possible.
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The Bible doesn't say, "You must at all times live peaceably with all." It says, "If possible." That's why at the training center out at the Harvest Bible Chapel, Aaron and I were the odd ducks there.
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because Aaron went to lunch with some of the wives of some of the staff and pastors there.
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And you remember this, they said, "Tell us about your previous church." And Aaron said, "Oh, Jeff and I love our previous church.
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"We have so many great friendships "and we had such a great time serving there." And the lady was like, "Really?" Aaron's like, "Oh yeah, we love them.
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"We still have a great relationship.
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"And they sent us a bunch of money "so we can come out here and train." And, "Really?" Aaron's like, "Yeah, they're great." And they said, "We never hear that story.
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Every story we hear is, 'I'm in the training center because I was with such and such ministry, and we had this huge falling out.'" And I heard those stories.
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I was talking to people.
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"What ministry do you come from?" "I was with this ministry with this big falling out." "I was at this church where we had this big blow-up." So we were sort of the odd ducks.
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A lot of the people that we knew were there because of a fallout from a previous ministry.
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So while fallout is never pleasant, what was the end result?
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More churches were planted, right?
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More ministry.
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That's really the testimony throughout church history.
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Do you know how many denominations there are?
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Take a guess. How many denominations?
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Hard to pin down a number.
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Some people say there's about 20,000.
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I've seen the number as high as 41,000 different denominations.
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how denominations start, right? You just get a group of Christians that are together and they don't see eye to eye on a particular thing, whether it's baptism or Lord's Supper or whatever, ritual, whatever, and well fine, well, those of us that believe this are going over here, and those of us that believe this are going over here, and look, I don't love church splits.
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But if you look back at church history, look at how the gospel has spread as a result of that.
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I'm not saying that we should look for conflict or that God causes conflict.
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Just simply saying according to this passage and according to church history, according to the people that I know, conflicts can be used by God.
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Here's the best news, number five.
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It's never over.
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Pray for reconciliation.
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Pray for reconciliation.
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It's never over. What is never over?
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The relationship is never over.
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It's never beyond healing.
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I want to encourage you to never throw in the towel.
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Never write someone off.
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Maybe not now.
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Maybe not next week.
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Maybe it will be years down the road.
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Reconciliation among God's people isn't just possible, it's probable.
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All things are possible for Christ. Amen?
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I could give you so many reasons that you should want to reconcile with people.
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Like, you know, good for the sake of the friendship, And it's a great testimony for the world.
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There's really biblically only one real motivator to reconcile.
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It's forgive someone.
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It's because in Jesus Christ, we have been forgiven.
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That's the motivation.
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The Bible says we should be tenderhearted and kind towards one another.
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Forgiving each other - if anyone has any offense, because Christ has forgiven us.
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That's the motivation.
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I want to forgive because I'm a person that's been forgiven.
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The good news, we know, even though we don't see Him in Acts, we know that Barnabas was eventually reconciled with Paul.
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In 1 Corinthians 9:6, but also Paul speaks of him positively.
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1 Corinthians 9.6 says, "For is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working for a living?" So Paul was speaking favorably of Barnabas.
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This is great news too.
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The Bible says that Paul and Mark were eventually reconciled.
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Colossians 4.10, "Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, greets you and Mark, the cousin of Barnabas, "I wonder what those were.
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Like, what were the instructions?
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I don't know.
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And I wonder.
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Like, if Mark comes, he only likes green M&Ms, or he's allergic to parakeets.
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I don't know what that was.
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But it says, look at this.
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If he comes to you, welcome him.
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Not, if he comes to you, don't let him in.
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He's a loser.
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He'll probably leave at the first sign of trouble.
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No, no, no.
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Welcome.
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Welcome.
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Also, even better for any of you who 2 Timothy 4.11, Paul says to Timothy, and this is Paul at the end of his life, he says, "Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me in ministry." Does that sound like the guy from Acts 13?
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Paul now says, "He's useful." How did they reconcile?
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I don't know.
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I just know biblically that obviously they did, because Paul mentions them.
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Something else I know is I'm not the same pastor that I was 20 years ago.
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I started doing ministry in 1996 through mission trips and camps, and eventually went to Bible college and pastoring a church through there, and the rest, as they say, is history.
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But one thing that I know for sure is I'm not the same person that I was 20 years ago.
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walking with Jesus Christ for any length of time at all, you should see that in your own life. Like, look, I'm not who I want to be yet, but I'm not the person that I was. And something that I've seen in my own life that I've seen in a lot of Christians lives, and I believe a hundred percent was true for Paul, age sort of makes you grab on to grace a little tighter, doesn't it?
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What I mean is when you're a young pastor, you're full of you-know-what and vinegar, right?
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And I think Paul had a lot of that.
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And down the road when he's writing 2 Timothy, he's not this young spitfire.
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He's this father in the faith.
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He's this grandfather in the faith.
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He says, "You know, I haven't let go of truth, but I've learned to embrace grace even more in my old age." However it happened, it happened.
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Mark - we know that he became close to Peter.
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Peter mentions him in 1 Peter 5:13.
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And Mark even wrote a Gospel, which I would like to suggest to you is the mother of all comebacks.
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Mark went from missionary deserter to wrote one of the Gospels.
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Isn't that a great story?
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Isn't that a great story of grace and reconciliation and restoration?
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Deserter to Gospel writer.
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I love that.
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It was a thanks to God using Barnabas that Mark's story turned around.
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I have to think so.
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And Mark went back to Jerusalem feeling like a loser.
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Like, yeah, I thought I was going to be a missionary, but I don't have it.
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I fail.
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Barnabas comes along like, hey, you get back on the bike when you fall off, pal.
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Let's do this.
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And I think it was Barnabas believing in Mark.
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That's what God used to restore him.
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Even an epic fail like Mark's doesn't have to be the end of a ministry.
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And even a fallout like Paul and Barnabas doesn't have to be the end of a relationship.
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I just want to ask you, as we reflect on this text, is there someone with whom you've had a fallout?
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Someone with whom you need to reconcile?
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I want you to take a couple moments, and here's what I want you to do.
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But I want you to pray for two things.
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Just two things, okay?
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The first is this, I want you to pray for that person.
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I want you to pray for their personal walk with the Lord.
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I want you to pray for their family, their ministry, their work.
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I want you to pray for the person.
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Even if you don't feel like it.
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Even if you had this nasty falling out and you're still angry, I want you to set the emotions aside, and I want you to make a choice.
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You're going to pray for that person no matter how you feel about them.
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Maybe there's anger, maybe there's hurt, maybe there's disappointment - whatever.
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I want you to pray for that person.
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Pray for that person.
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Now, I want you to pray.
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I want you to pray for reconciliation.
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Maybe you've tried.
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Maybe you've tried to the point that it's borderline harassment.
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Maybe you've tried to the point that you're not sure how else to try.
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With God, all things are possible.
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Pray for reconciliation.
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That your heart is ready.
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That their heart is ready.
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that God would open that door.
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Will you pray that now, please?
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Father in Heaven, we know that forgiveness and reconciliation, those are on your list of favorite things.
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We know this because of the lengths in which you went to make that possible for us with you.
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We were lost. We were dead.
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You were enemies.
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Your Word tells us that you sent your only begotten Son to die in our place and to raise from the dead so that we might have eternal life.
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You spared no expense at forgiving us fully and restoring us thoroughly.
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And Your Word makes it so clear that forgiven people forgive.
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When we've experienced Your forgiveness in Christ, our natural inclination should be to forgive others.
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And I pray for that today, Father.
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For every heart in this room that we would let go of any hurts, any resentment, any anger, that our hearts would be open for reconciliation and that You would make it happen.
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God, I don't know how You made it all happen and Barnabas and Mark and that whole thing, and I don't need to know how, I just know that you did.
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And I pray in this room, that you would make it happen, whether it's through a running into the person at Target, or maybe you impress upon us to send an email to say, "Hey, I prayed for you today." Or maybe that person calls us even before we take that step.
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Whatever, God, You are sovereign and You are all-powerful.
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That is why we cry out to You.
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For Your glory and honor.
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Bring reconciliation.
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Help us, Father, to deal with conflict when it comes.
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Help us to deal with conflict in a way that glorifies Your name.
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in Jesus' name, amen.
Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Acts 15:36-41
Explain what caused the argument between Paul and Barnabas (see Acts 13:13). Who do you naturally side with? Why?
Why doesn't the Bible explicitly say who was in the right? What does this say about some conflicts we go through today?
Why do you think God used both "teams", despite the fact that the reason they separated wasn't exactly noble?
Breakout Questions:
Pray for anyone YOU are having / have had conflict with in the past. Pray for God to open an obvious door for reconciliation!