Introduction:
Proverbs 18:19 - A brother offended is harder to win than a strong (walled) city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Helping YOU to overcome the debilitating effect of accumulated offense.
The nature of offense
Luke 17:1 - And he said to his disciples, "Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come!
To not be offended is impossible!
The author of offense
John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.Satan - ministry of death, theft and destruction
The path of offense
Hebrews 12:14,15 - Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled
ROOT OF BITTERNESS - GOTCHA!
The remedy for offense
Matthew 5:23-25 - So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.
Matthew 18:15-17 - If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Corinthians 10:4,5 - and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness.
Are you ready to be set free?
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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Good morning. Good to see all of you.
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And it certainly is a privilege and an honor always to preach the Word of God, but a special one to be invited back to Harvest.
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And I did want to say that Kathy and I and the North Street Church think so highly of Jeff and Aaron and their family and their dedication to the ministry and to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
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And I just admire them so much.
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And in addition to that, I think it's just a wonderful thing that Jeff has been able to take four fellas, or three with him, to Thailand.
00:34-00:40
He's been there a couple of times, and I know what they're experiencing, and their lives are being changed.
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How about anybody who sent one of their family members?
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Everybody that sent somebody over there, your family, would you stand at this time?
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Let those men go.
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Let's give them a big round of applause.
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Now I want to tell you when they come home, they will be different.
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It might be as simple as, "I never want to eat rice again." Or, "I just want cheeseburgers and french fries for a month.
01:03-01:10
Let's not talk about that Asian food." But beyond that, they're going to have kingdom eyes that they didn't have before they left.
01:10-01:13
And when they start to tell you the stories, oblige them.
01:14-01:17
Listen to them. Try to get a taste of what they've tasted.
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Because God has done a work and will continue to do a work in their lives this week.
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And through them, He'll continue to do a work through this church.
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And just a word of encouragement to all of you.
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I just want to say thank you to all who are here to harvest for striving to be a faithful church unto our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
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I honor you for putting forth the Word of God in preaching and teaching and prayer as enabled by the Holy Spirit.
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We live in a day where churches like this one continue to make a clear example of what a church needs to be.
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And just a word from the Hebrew writer who said, "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
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And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together, as some are in the manner of doing, but exhorting one another, and so much more as you see the day approaching.
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Thank you for being faithful.
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Today I've come with a very express purpose.
02:26-02:39
As led by the Lord through the inner working of the Holy Spirit, I come today to teach you and exhort you concerning the subject of tearing down the wall of offense in your life.
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I want to make it clear I'm not here to give a nice talk.
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I'm not here simply to be a fill-in while Jeff is away.
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I'm not here to make some suggestions of some things you ought to do someday.
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I have come to open the door for you so that you can do some much needed business with God and begin doing that today.
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There's no doubt, many people in this room are primarily defined by their past offenses, by their hurts, and by their failures.
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Each day is weighed down by the heaviness of the past.
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Life becomes burdensome and incarcerating.
03:18-03:21
And when that happens, the joy is not visible.
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And see, when that happens, you become handicapped in reaching the full potential which God has in mind for you.
03:29-03:33
So let me remind you here at the beginning, the world defines you by your past.
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God does not.
03:36-03:41
Today's message, "Tearing Down the Wall of Offense," to teach you how to escape from your self-made prison.
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Teach you to live freely by God's amazing grace.
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Now where did I get that idea?
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It comes from one verse in the book of Proverbs.
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Proverbs 18:19.
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And it says this, "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle." It says once a person is offended, it's hard to get them back.
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It's hard to become a friend again.
04:10-04:12
It's hard to make amends.
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Because when we're offended, we do what strong cities do.
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Back in the times of the Bible, cities would build walls.
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And they would have gates.
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So only those that they permitted to come in and out can come in and out.
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And when we carry a fence in our life, we're like that.
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We build a wall around ourself.
04:29-04:32
It starts out, we think, we're just protecting ourselves.
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But we pick up one brick of a fence and another brick of a fence and another brick of a fence, We start to lay the groundwork for that wall, and instead of protecting ourselves, we seal ourselves in rather than simply keeping those out of our lives.
04:46-04:52
And it takes over our life, and our whole life is defined by our reaction to offense.
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The Proverb goes on and it says, "And the contentions are like the bars of a castle." It means the more you talk about it, the more you strive to fix it, the more you argue about it, that person just steps from behind the wall they've built, moves into the castle, and starts putting bars on the windows of the castle.
05:09-05:14
And once again, they think they're finding a safe zone, but they're actually destroying their own life.
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So I see my job today as this, helping you to overcome the debilitating effect of accumulated offense.
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Now think about that.
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If you allow offense to accumulate in your life, it will debilitate you.
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It will turn you into somebody you're not.
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You won't even really like yourself, but you'll be so busy defending because you're so justified because of what happened to you, you're more willing to live that way than be free in Jesus Christ.
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So look up here for a moment.
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Let's say I'm a regular part of this fellowship.
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And as some get together, I notice as the event goes on, your behavior changes and you're acting differently at the end than you were at the beginning.
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You just aren't laughing as much.
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There seems to be a heaviness about your life.
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And if I came up to you and said, "Are you offended?" What's the normal answer to that question?
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"No, I'm not offended. No, no, no, I'm not offended.
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I just..." We have all kinds of ways of unexplaining offense.
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See, one of the greatest lies in the church is, "I'm not offended." And I think we need to reckon with that. We need to deal with that.
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Now, if you didn't like me asking, "Are you offended?" And I said, "Well, are you mad?" "No, I'm not mad. I'm just hurt." "So are you hurt?" "Well, not really. We just don't want to admit it, but I want you to understand that I think perfect synonyms for offense are'mad' and 'hurt.'" So who's not been hurt? Who's not been upset? Who's not been mad?
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Who's not been offended?
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Now, see these bricks?
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I want each one of these bricks to represent a fence in our lives.
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And this bag?
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This is my hurt bag.
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See, every time I allow an offense to remain in my life, I take it everywhere I go.
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This is what my dad did to me.
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This is what that coach said.
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This is what that idiot guy at church did last Sunday.
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And see, everywhere we go, we have to take it.
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So I want you to be thinking about in your life, you know, how many hurts are in your hurt bag?
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Now see, at night, we get the bricks out.
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When we're resting, we get the bricks out.
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When we're in our safe zone, we get the bricks out, and we start building our wall.
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And we just add to it.
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And then when we leave in the morning, see?
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We get out there and we put them all back in the hurt bag and they go everywhere with us because if people just understood what happened to us, they would understand why I have to filter my life through every offense.
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Now, we rehearse those offenses.
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That's how we remain justified in our attitude and our behavior.
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But just like the Proverbs says, the offended one is hard to win back.
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And that's because he or she is just trying to protect themself.
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That's all they meant to do.
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But he actually is hemming himself in.
08:19-08:25
And the more you contend with him, he adds bars to the windows of that self-made prison.
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So, let me ask you, who hurt you?
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I mean, dads do it.
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And brothers do it and sisters do it and uncles do it and wives do it and husbands do it and teachers do it and lovers do it and ex-lovers do it and bosses do it and preachers do it and enemies do it.
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Uncles and cousins do it.
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Neighbors do it.
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Exes do it.
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Kids do it. Parents do it.
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And sometimes we have a big brick in our bag for God because He offended us.
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didn't come through.
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And sometimes there's a brick named self in that bag because you can't get past the offense of your own life.
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So I'm asking that as I speak to you today, that you would consider to begin unstacking the wall.
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That you would consider emptying the bag.
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Now here's some motivation.
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Whose offense in your life is stronger than your ability to agree with God to do the right thing today.
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Don't you think the Lord wants you to be free?
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Don't you think the Lord doesn't want you to carry the offense any longer?
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And if you allow what happened to you as a child or in your dating life or in your career, or however it was, if you allow that to define you, then you're not allowing God to define you.
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And you know, it's interesting, the person who offended you, it might have been 40 years ago, but they control your thoughts and your attitudes every day.
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Do you ever think about that?
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They might already be dead, but they have the ability to control you.
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Someone once said to me, "You know, you will become just like the person who's offended you most if you don't let God change your life, deal with the offense." And it's so true.
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The one for whom we have the most resentment has the ability to control and we become just like them.
10:18-10:31
John Bevere, who wrote a book called "Debate of Satan," says this, "Do not be afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness in your life.
10:31-10:38
The longer you hide it, the stronger it will become, and the harder your heart will grow.
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Stay tender-hearted.
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How? Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God and Christ forgave you." Now I want you to do something. I want you to take your notes right now, and I'd like you to put the top three offenders, write them down.
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If you don't want to put their names, put their initials.
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Who has offended you? Who has hurt you?
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And you have a brick in your hurt bag because of them.
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If you don't want to write a name or their initial, put down a circumstance that has been life-altering, that says, "You know what? I never meant for that to define me, but it does define me." So take just a moment and list your top three offenses or offenders.
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Almighty Father, just now I, Father, prepare to bring this congregation before You, that You, Lord, might begin to do surgery in one or two lives here, or maybe more than that, who knows.
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But Father, some will not hear.
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We just know that's the nature of the Word.
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Others will be penetrated to the heart.
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Some will be quickened from the dead.
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I pray that you would give people the courage to hear what you say, so that they might find freedom, no longer being controlled by the hurt and offense in their life.
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So let's talk today, first of all, about the nature of offense.
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In the book of Luke chapter 17, Jesus said this, this is in the King James Version, "It is impossible but that offenses will come, but woe to him through whom they come.
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It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck and he cast into the sea that he should offend one of these little ones.
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Take heed for yourselves.
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If your brother trespasses against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him; and if he trespasses against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, 'I repent,' thou shalt forgive him." I just want you to see that Jesus said this, "To not be offended is impossible." So understand, if you say, "I carry no offense.
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I've never been hurt, I've never been offended." It's not true.
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Because Jesus said it is impossible for you not to be offended.
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So let's get honest for a moment.
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Raise your hand if you've ever been offended.
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Okay, that would be everybody here I would suppose.
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I won't ask you to raise your hand, but whose life has been defined by the offense?
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Who continues to allow the offense to shape your life?
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See, the Bible says that when offense happens, we should deal with it, and deal with it quickly, and deal with it over and over again.
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That's what Jesus said.
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And so we think, "Yeah, I tried that once, but it didn't work." But He said, "Even if it happens seven times in a day, and the person says, 'Forgive me,' He says, 'Forgive them.'" So how many of you ladies have had to forgive your husband more than seven times in one day?
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You don't need to raise your hand.
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Or forgive your kids more than seven times in one day.
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See, the point is you don't want to let the offense build.
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It will poison your life.
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And you let it in once and think, "I can handle that." And then twice and think, "I can handle that." And then three times and think, "It's okay. It's only three offenses that I'm carrying." Pretty soon it seems normal.
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But the offenses are robbing you of the freedom.
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And they're changing you from the person you're meant to be into somebody you don't really want to be.
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Early on, we all learned this lesson.
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"If I don't look out for me, nobody else will." And that's how it all starts.
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Now see, sometimes the offenses in our lives are totally unjustified.
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There wasn't even a rhyme or a reason.
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Somebody actually came upon you in such a way, you had nothing to do with what they did to you.
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And that's a big offense to let go of, I understand that.
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But there's no freedom if you let your life be shaped by somebody that came against you in that fashion.
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Sometimes people's offenses are somewhat justified, because you acted one way and they acted another.
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But instead of making reconciliation, you see, you just each go your own way, and that's how you handle.
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But that's not what the Bible would say.
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So I look at offense like this. I have a few comparisons.
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First of all, offense is like a pyramid business.
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See, you buy in, and then you recruit someone to help you carry the burden of your offense.
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Now, moms and daughters are the best at that, in my opinion.
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See, a daughter gets offended and her mom takes her side.
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Or mom gets offended and she raises her daughter to take her side.
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And then they both have the same view and attitude, all shaped by the offense of another person.
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But when you get in this pyramid business, you get offended, you recruit somebody to carry your offense with you, and they go out and recruit two more, and they recruit two more, and they recruit two more, and pretty soon we have a whole generation of people in one family who are really defined by their offense.
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And so there can be a line of angry men, a line of controlling women.
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But if you could trace it back, it all came through the hurt, the offense of one person.
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See, we just start building the wall to protect ourselves, but the protection turns into control.
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And the control turns from self-control to control everybody around me.
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And what appears to be security is actually a great big loud signal of insecurity.
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Did you ever notice that?
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Sometimes the people that want to run everything down deep, they're very insecure.
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And it's because they've not dealt with all that's happened.
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So a fence can be like a pyramid scheme.
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A fence is like the compound interest of a debtor.
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I don't know if you've ever done a payday loan.
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I never have.
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But I would never do one, I don't think.
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But it seems like with a compound interest of a payday loan, you continue to pay even after you pay.
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And you pay again and again and again.
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And as soon as you pay it, it's due again.
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And that's how it is with a fence.
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if you only partially deal with it, it comes back over and over and over and over again, and it will drive you into spiritual bankruptcy.
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Just like that accumulated compound interest of a debtor.
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And then I say, "A fence is like a ghost of yesterday, reminding you every day that you're in bondage." It's haunting.
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See, you say, "Why me?
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Why do things like this keep happening?" It's because we continue to add bricks to our bag or building our wall.
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When a fence grows, we have a tendency to project an old situation into a new one.
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It seems that nothing ever changes. Everything works like it did in the past, but it's because we built our own prison by a lack of forgiveness.
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You see, when your husband reminds you of your dad, and you transfer what happened to you at home by your dad to your husband, he doesn't get a second chance.
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And man, you know, if something your wife does reminds you of the hurt of a past relationship, suddenly she becomes somebody And I find oftentimes with men, it's their own hurt, their own offense that they're really angry at, but they take it out on those closest to them.
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So here's a little story for you.
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There were two men on their way to work, separate cars, both passed the same driveway of the same house.
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At the end of that driveway, there was a fishing boat for sale.
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And the fishing boat had a sign.
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I mean, the boat was there, the trailer, the motor, the vest, the fishing poles, all the gear, everything you needed.
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And the sign said, "Take it all for $3,000." So both of those men drove past that boat, got to work, sat down at their desk, and they began to dream about how great it would be to have that boat for $3,000.
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Now, one of the men was zero in debt.
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The other man was already $25,000 in debt.
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So I have a question to ask you. Which one of those men would be the most likely to go out and borrow the money to buy that boat?
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The fellow that's already in debt. Why?
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Because if I'm 25,000 in debt, what's 28?
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And if I can consolidate, I get a free boat.
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I got to make payments anyhow. So what's the difference?
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But the guy that has zero debt, he says, "No way.
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I worked so hard to get out of debt, there's no way.
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As much as I want that boat, I will not borrow the money to buy it." Now translate that from finances to the debt of offense.
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See, if you're already ticked off at 25 people, what's 26?
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I mean, if you already have sealed off this person, and this person, and this person, and you've built that brick wall, and this is that person, that person, what's one more brick?
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But if you get out of this offense debt, the first offense really hurts.
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And you want to deal with it, and you want to deal with it now, so it doesn't accumulate.
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So it is with our debt offense. We have to handle those offenses one by one.
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So there's a word about the nature of offense.
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Let's say something now about the author of offense.
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God is not the author of offense. Satan is.
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When Jesus was speaking about He being the Good Shepherd, He says this in John 10.10.
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He says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
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I came that they may have life and life abundantly." Now, if you're living under the weight of offense, you're not living the abundant life.
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God's not in control, the devil has you snowed under.
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See, Jesus said the ministry of Satan is this, death, theft, and destruction.
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Everything God is for, Satan is against.
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Unity, peace, joy, love, kindness, Satan's against it.
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Great marriage, the devil wants to destroy your marriage.
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A godly self-image, the devil wants you to take your own life, not live for God.
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Churches that function in unity, he wants to cause confusion and destruction and turn people against one another.
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And so you see, He's a roaring lion waiting to devour.
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He masquerades as an angel of light.
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He's a master deceiver and the father of all lies.
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Now I say this, sometimes in the church, we don't give the devil enough credit.
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And by that I mean, we want to blame ourselves.
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We want to blame each other.
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We want to blame the circumstances.
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We want to blame the preacher.
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We ought to be blaming the devil.
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The Apostle Paul says this in Ephesians 6.
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He says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Do you believe that?
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I think oftentimes we left the theology of the devil at our children's bedside.
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We kneel down and we pray with them and say, "God, I want to be a good boy. I don't want the devil to have way in my life.
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I want to follow Jesus, not the devil." And that's as far as our theology about Satan goes.
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You believe in God, you believe in angels, then you necessarily need to believe in Satan and you need to believe in demons.
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They are just as real.
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I consider that while I'm preaching today, there's an army of angels and an army of demons warring against what you're able to hear or not hear today.
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This present darkness is a reality.
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And so the author of the offense comes from the devil himself.
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To be controlled by offense plays right into the hand of killing and stealing and destroying.
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Jesus said, "I came to bring abundant life." Satan has come to take it away.
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And so we've learned a little bit about the nature of offense, and then the author of offense.
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Let me now talk about the path of offense.
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If you have lived your life carrying around that hurt bag, building that wall and trying to be justified, I want you to understand the accumulation of offense always takes everyone down the same path.
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It's not unique.
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You don't end up somewhere someone else doesn't.
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See, in trying to prove a point, believing they're getting even, convincing themselves they have full control, they are only getting bitter as the months and the years pass.
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That's where accumulated offense will take you every time to bitterness.
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Hebrews 12 verses 14 and 15 say this, "Pursue peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.
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Looking carefully, lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, (listen) lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by it many have become defiled." And so, you would see that you're a person who has a special case.
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That not forgiving, not being able to let go, by owning the offense which begins to own you.
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You think somehow you'll be able to handle it, and the Bible would say, "No, you're going to become bitter." See, the root of bitterness is the "gotcha." That's where the devil says, "Aha! I finally got you." Satan wins when you become bitter.
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Your life is dedicated to bitterness and becomes defiled.
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You started out with the best intentions.
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You were a lovely person, but now you find yourself unfulfilled, resentful, full of jealousy and anger, and you're the last one to notice, but everyone else does.
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You're somewhat of a bitter person, and people tend to avoid you and work around you because they don't want the poison to spread.
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And by the way, it is contagious.
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John Bevere says this, "Bitterness is a root.
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If roots are nursed, watered, protected, fed, and given attention, They increase in depth and strength.
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If not dealt with quickly, roots are hard to pull up.
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The strength of the offense will continue to grow.
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We are therefore exhorted not to let the sun go down on our hurt, on our anger, on our wrath, on our offense.
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Now instead, the fruit of righteousness being produced, we will see a harvest of anger and resentment and jealousy and hatred and strife and discord.
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And Jesus said, "These are the works of the flesh." These are the evil fruits of the works.
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Now pride keeps you from dealing with truth.
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And see, that's where we're headed.
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Why wouldn't you unpack your bag?
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Why wouldn't you unstack your wall today?
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It's because of pride.
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No matter how you add it up.
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No matter if you say, "But my situation was different." No matter if you say, "Well, if you just understood." Pride will keep you from dealing with this hurt.
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It distorts your vision.
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You never change when you convince yourself that everything is fine.
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Everything is not fine.
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Many people, and some people here, for decades, you have owned this offense, and now it owns you, and life would seem abnormal if you didn't have that hurt bag with you everywhere you go.
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Pride hardens your heart.
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It dims the eyes of your understanding.
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It keeps you from having a change.
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Repentance will set you free.
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But see, when we're full of that hurt, that offense, we would believe we have no need to repent.
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The world needs to repent.
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The offender - the one who hurt me - needs to repent, but not me.
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Pride causes you to view yourself as a victim.
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And your attitude becomes, "I was mistreated and misjudged, therefore, I'm justified in my behavior." Because you believe you're innocent and falsely accused, you hold back forgiveness, though your true heart condition is hidden from you.
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And finally this morning, let's talk about the remedy.
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Here's what the Bible says in Matthew 5.
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Jesus said this, "If you're offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift in front of the altar, go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.
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Settle matters quickly with your adversary." So you know what that says?
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It says, "If you've offended someone else and God brings it to mind, go reconcile with your brother." If you've been the offender, go make it right with the one you hurt.
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If you come to church and God says, "You need to go make it right." It says, "Leave church and go make it right, then come back to church." And in Matthew 18, Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault." just between the two of you.
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If he listens to you, you've won your brother back.
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If he will not listen, take one or two others along so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses." So that first verse said, "If you've offended someone, go make it right." The second verse says that if someone has offended you, go to him and make it right.
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I always found that interesting.
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It says, "You've been hurt? Go." You hurt somebody? Go.
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Who's the first one to go? You, every time.
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That's what the Bible says, if we're going to be the obedient Christians.
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Now there in Matthew 18 it says, "Now if someone sinned against you, go make it right between you two." That should work. That's not very often practiced.
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But if that doesn't work, get a few friends together.
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Get some family, have a family meeting and say, "Let's work this thing out." And if that doesn't work, just tell it to the church.
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It doesn't mean come up in front of the church and say, "Do you know what my wife did to me?" It means get the church together, let's pray about these things, let's work through these things together.
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And so it's always your responsibility to go.
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Now I realize that not every hurt can be dealt with.
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Not every offense can be handled, because that might have been so long ago you've lost contact.
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That person may be deceased, as I already said.
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There are some hurts we have to deal with on an impersonal basis.
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We have to yield it back to God.
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We have to make our heart right with the Lord, and let Him make the difference.
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In fact, the Bible says, "Never strive to avenge yourself." Because God, you see, is the one who makes it right in the end.
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We never have to go and get revenge. It's never our role.
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But listen to what Paul said in 2nd Corinthians chapter 10.
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He said, "For though we walk in the flesh, we don't war according to the flesh." It says, "Though we're human like everybody else, we don't fight like everybody else, because the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for the pulling down of strongholds." Do you understand what that says?
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The offense in your life becomes a stronghold.
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It becomes the wall around the city of your life.
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You think you're in control, but you're in jail.
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And it says, "You don't fight these battles like the world fights these battles.
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We don't call names. We don't sue one another.
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We don't go after one another's reputation.
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It says we deal with these things on a spiritual basis.
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Listen, "casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God." Here's the key, "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience to Christ." Every thought.
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So when you're laying in bed at night and you start to think, "You know what? You know what I really think?" You bring that thought into captivity.
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When you're fired up and angry, you bring every thought into captivity.
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When you wish you could go back that 20 or 30 years and fight it out, you bring every thought into captivity.
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That's what the Bible says, "Take every thought captive." And I'm so often reminded of the Apostle Paul having his thorn in the flesh.
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We don't know exactly what that was.
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Some say it was a physical malady.
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Some say it was blindness to his eyes.
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Why some say it was a person or group of people followed Him everywhere and tried to discredit Him.
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But I'm saying that in your life, the thorn in your flesh could be the hurt.
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It just never goes away.
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You've prayed to God like He did. Take it away.
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And when Paul said, "I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, three times I prayed, God take it away." God said, "No." He said, "My grace is sufficient for you." And that's where we have to get.
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See, it may never be made right in the eyes of everybody who knows, or who doesn't know.
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It's like this movie camera's rolling in our lives and at the end we're going to get in front of everybody and God's going to bring justification to our life.
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That will happen at the time of judgment.
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He will make everything right in His time and in His way.
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But for now, what God told Paul is what we need to hear - grace.
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Give it up.
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Put it in the bucket of grace.
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And God will get you through one day at a time.
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You can be free.
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You don't have to be burdened.
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You don't have to be defined by all this hurt and offense in your life.
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And you know what Paul went on to say?
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He said, "So, I'll be all the more glad to boast about my weakness, because Christ's power rests upon me." for Christ's sake, I delight in my weakness." He said, "I welcome my need for God.
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I delight in my weakness.
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I delight in the insults.
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I delight in the hardships.
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I delight in the persecutions.
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I delight in the difficulties, because when I'm weak, then I'm strong." Isn't that amazing?
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Paul said, "Here I am, just as I am.
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I don't have to prove anything to anybody.
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I just need to walk with God.
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If it comes against me, I just give it up.
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Give it over to God.
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And I can be a free man.
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On Monday nights at North Street, I have a men's Bible study and I have two men in there right now who both come from addictive backgrounds and both spent time in prison.
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And one night before the study began, they were just conversing.
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And the one said, "You know, before I went to jail, I had no freedom.
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But after I got to jail, where I had my freedom." And the other looked at him and said, "You know, that's right for me too." And it's so true until we get, you see, quiet, and we have to think about it, and we have to work through it, we'll never find our peace.
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When we're out there on the run, it's just go, go, go.
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And we think we're free, but we're in prison.
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And when we get settled down and go be free before the Lord, that's when we get free.
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So here are some things we've learned without offense today.
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We learned that offense will happen.
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It's a reality. It does happen.
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It's impossible that it won't happen.
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You and I have been offended.
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We've learned that we ought to deal with it quickly.
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In fact, before the sun goes down.
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The longest we should be hurt or angry is 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds.
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If you got hurt right when the sun went down, Don't let it last any longer than the next day.
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Deal with it quickly.
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A zero balance is the goal.
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Don't get into the offense debt.
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It says reconcile with your brother.
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Take every thought into captivity and turn it over.
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Now I just want to ask you, are you ready to be set free?
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I have to tell you, freedom comes more than once.
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Now the initial freedom that we find, the freedom from sin, comes when we're born again.
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When Christ comes into our hearts and makes us brand new people.
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But we still have a tendency to pick up a fence and get burdened and burdened and burdened.
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And we need reminded to be set free.
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So I want to remind you that the weight you're carrying is unnecessary.
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Because Jesus carried all of the weight of all of our offenses on the cross.
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The past offense, the present offense, the future offense has already been paid for, already been bore by Jesus Christ.
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1 Peter 2:21-25 says this, now listen, "Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in His steps." He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth.
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When they hurled insults at Him, He did not retaliate.
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When He suffered, He made no threats.
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Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.
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He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness.
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By His wounds, you have been healed.
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I just want to ask you, do you believe that?
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Let me read that again.
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Christ suffered for you.
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Do you believe that?
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Leaving you example that you should follow in His steps.
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Do you believe that?
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He committed no sin and no deceit was found in His mouth.
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Do you believe that?
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When they hurled insults at Him, He did not retaliate.
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When He suffered, He made no threats.
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Do you believe that?
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Instead, he entrusted himself to the One who judges justly.
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Even God in the flesh did not take it upon Himself to set things right.
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He gave it up to His heavenly Father.
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He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree that we might die to sins and live for righteousness.
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By His wounds, you have been healed.
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Do you believe that?
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So let's make it clear.
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You do not need to carry worry or failure or sin or guilt or offense.
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Jesus paid it all.
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And for sure, you don't need to carry someone else's guilt or sin or failure or offense.
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Jesus did it for them.
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And so I just want to ask, was his life sufficient for the hurts and offenses in your life?
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Yes or no?
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If they were, you can leave here as a free man or a free woman today, unburdened.
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You don't even need to take the empty hurt bag with you.
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You don't need it anymore.
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Jesus said to this in Matthew 11, And I want you to take it personally.
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He said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
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Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I'm gentle and humble in heart, and you'll find rest for your souls.
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For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Do you believe that?
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Would you let Him or would you let Him again begin to carry the load that weighs you down so heavily?
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So I'm asking you today, will you take your hurt bag and will you take those bricks and put them in the blood-red bucket God's grace.
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Say, I don't need that anymore.
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I don't need that anymore.
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I'm not taking that with me.
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And all those offenses you rehearse every night to justify, it's okay for me to be hurt.
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Nobody else should be.
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I don't need that.
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I don't want the wall.
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I'm done.
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I've given it all to the Lord because His grace is sufficient, and Jesus paid it all.
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Let's pray.
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Almighty Father, we come before You this day, and I pray, Lord, that each one of us would be able to take inventory and to be real honest with ourselves.
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In a time like this, if we've paid attention and the Spirit's spoken to our hearts, we begin to analyze and consider what needs to change.
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But very quickly, Lord, we get our eyes off of self You know, my husband really needs to do that.
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Or my wife really needs to do that.
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Or my mother really needs to do that.
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But Lord, today is not about someone's husband and not about someone's wife and not about someone's mother or any other relationship.
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It's about each one here taking that deeper inner look.
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I thank You, Father, that Jesus paid it all.
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I thank You that we realize that a fence can have each one of us to build a wall around our lives just for protection.
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But soon it becomes a prison, and potentially we become bitter.
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I ask today, Father, that either right now or as we leave from this place, some people will be set free from the offense that has hemmed them in and weighs them down.
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It's all in the name of Jesus, the One who bore it all, that we pray, Amen.
Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 18:19
(If you like, review any other passages on relationships we covered on Sunday!)
How has offense affected your life?
Who suffers most when our lives are governed by offense?
When offense is allowed to accumulate, what are the results:
Spiritually?
Emotionally?
Relationally?
Physically?
Read Genesis 50:20. How do Joseph’s words apply to the accumulated offense in your life?
Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. How will taking every thought captive aid in your path to victory in overcoming the accumulated offense in your life?
BREAKOUT
Are you struggling with a particular relationship in your life? Pray for one another to forgive and restore those hurt relationships.