The Lost Art of Discernment. How Can I Help You?

Introduction:

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Discerning Needs in the Church:

  1. The idle need Admonished . (1 Thess 5:14a)
  2. The fainthearted need Encouraged . (1 Thess 5:14b)
  3. The weak need Help . (1 Thess 5:14c)

    Galatians 6:1 - Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

  4. You need Discernment . (1 Thess 5:14)
  5. We all need Grace . (1 Thess 5:14-15)

    1. Be Patient .
    2. Be Merciful .
    3. Be Good .

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

  • 00:46-00:50

    Open your Bibles with me please to 1 Thessalonians chapter 5.

    00:53-01:11

    While you're turning there, many years ago at my former church, there was a season where there was a lady and her husband, they lived right down the road from the church, and they were calling often, asking if I could help them move.

    01:13-01:14

    I didn't know who they were.

    01:15-01:18

    And I'm like, you know what, I got a lot going on.

    01:19-01:24

    And I got a degenerated spine, but she kept calling.

    01:26-01:33

    And then finally I came to this place, I'm like, you know what, maybe, maybe this is an evangelism opportunity.

    01:34-01:44

    You know, maybe this is somebody that the Lord is bringing to me to minister his love and I've just been pushing this couple off.

    01:45-01:46

    So I said, all right, you know what?

    01:47-01:49

    I didn't really have the time.

    01:49-01:53

    I'm like, OK, you know, I got a couple hours this afternoon that I'm just going to go help you.

    01:53-01:58

    And I went down and went into their apartment.

    01:58-02:03

    And they had a whole giant stack of boxes.

    02:05-02:11

    And I would say, conservatively, about 80% of them were labeled underwear.

    02:15-02:20

    And I know you probably have the same question that I have, but I didn't ask.

    02:23-02:27

    Well, the good thing was they lived on the second floor apartment.

    02:27-02:29

    There was no elevator, so it was all steps.

    02:31-02:37

    And I loaded up my little-- I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee at the time, stuffed it as full as I could.

    02:37-02:42

    And even better was the apartment they moved into was up three flights of steps.

    02:45-02:45

    But I'm like, you know what?

    02:45-02:47

    Maybe this is an opportunity, right?

    02:47-02:47

    Maybe it's not.

    02:48-02:50

    So after a couple hours of this, I...

    02:52-02:54

    And by the way, her husband sat there and watched me work the whole time.

    02:54-02:55

    That's another story.

    02:55-02:59

    But like, grab a box of underwear and help there, guy.

    03:00-03:08

    But like, but finally I said to the lady, I said, so do you have a church home?

    03:08-03:10

    And she goes, oh yeah, we go to church in Worthington.

    03:12-03:23

    I said, "Oh, why isn't anybody from your church helping you move?" She goes, "Pfft." She goes, "I could never ask my pastor to help.

    03:23-03:28

    He's too busy." She goes, "And besides, he has a bad back."

    03:29-03:30

    (congregation laughing)

    03:31-03:32

    Wah, wah.

    03:37-03:39

    You know we're called to help people, right?

    03:40-03:46

    But sometimes, sometimes people can be very hard to help.

    03:48-03:53

    And sometimes we don't know the best way to help people.

    03:54-03:58

    Well, fortunately we have God's word to teach us.

    03:58-04:02

    So let's bow our heads, lock in Keaton.

    04:02-04:09

    I'm gonna ask you to pray for me and I'm gonna pray for you as we get into God's word together.

    04:10-04:10

    Did I say that right?

    04:12-04:13

    Okay, thank you.

    04:13-04:13

    All right.

    04:14-04:16

    I'm learning new terminology, so.

    04:20-04:21

    I'm still working on that one.

    04:22-04:22

    Let's pray.

    04:25-04:28

    Father in heaven, the command is clear in your word, we are to love one another.

    04:29-04:33

    And sometimes that is hard to figure out exactly how to do that.

    04:35-04:38

    But it's absolutely necessary.

    04:39-04:43

    Your son told us that the world will know that we belong to him by the way that we love one another.

    04:49-05:06

    When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he told us, "It's to love you, Father." But Jesus also said, "The second greatest is like it. We are to love one another." We're to do unto others the way we would have them do unto us.

    05:07-05:21

    And Father, I just pray that you would grow us in our affection for you, which will result in true love for one another.

    05:22-05:27

    Father, let your word minister to us now, we ask in Jesus' name, amen.

    05:29-05:31

    So this month we've been talking about discernment.

    05:31-05:34

    And on the first week, we talked about discerning the truth.

    05:35-05:40

    You have to test everything that you hear according to the word of God.

    05:40-05:41

    You have to filter it through the word.

    05:42-05:44

    And then we talked about discerning God's will.

    05:45-05:49

    Does God have a path for your life that you've got to make sure you stay on?

    05:49-05:50

    No, it doesn't work that way.

    05:51-05:54

    You need to present yourself as a living sacrifice.

    05:54-05:58

    You need to not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

    05:58-06:04

    And you do that, you will know what God's will is.

    06:05-06:12

    And last week we talked about making the best choices, discerning the best choices, even in gray areas.

    06:14-06:24

    Now, all of these things, the truth and God's will and choosing what's best, all of those things are really about you and you alone.

    06:27-06:32

    Your walk, your knowing the truth, your choices.

    06:32-06:34

    That's kind of a just you thing, right?

    06:37-06:37

    But you're not alone.

    06:39-06:46

    And discernment is something that you need in your relationships with others in the church.

    06:50-06:55

    This isn't just for pastors or elders or small group leaders.

    06:55-06:58

    This is, you're going to see, this is for everybody.

    07:00-07:04

    How can I effectively minister to people with problems?

    07:05-07:06

    You gotta use discernment.

    07:08-07:09

    You gotta use discernment.

    07:09-07:13

    Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter five.

    07:13-07:14

    Look at verses 12 and 13.

    07:14-07:28

    He says, "We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work.

    07:30-07:32

    Be at peace among yourselves.

    07:36-07:38

    Those verses aren't really part of the sermon today.

    07:40-07:41

    I just like them.

    07:43-07:44

    Look at verse 14.

    07:47-07:55

    He says, "And we urge you, brothers." Now, there's a little shift there, right?

    07:55-08:02

    Verse 12, he says, "We ask you," And verse 14, "We urge you," this is a little stronger here.

    08:03-08:04

    This is a little stronger.

    08:05-08:22

    He says, "We urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak." And here Paul is telling the Thessalonian church, hey, you gotta take care of each other.

    08:23-08:25

    You've got to take care of each other.

    08:28-08:31

    But you have to do it appropriately.

    08:32-08:34

    So on your outline, I want you to jot some things down.

    08:35-08:36

    Discerning needs in the church.

    08:39-08:40

    How can I help you?

    08:40-08:48

    Well, we were introduced to three categories of people in these verse, in verse 14 rather.

    08:49-08:52

    So number one, let's talk about the idol.

    08:52-08:55

    Number one, the idol need admonished.

    08:55-08:56

    we're gonna talk about the idol first.

    08:57-09:00

    The idol need admonished.

    09:01-09:03

    Let's look at verse 14 again.

    09:05-09:06

    Very simple today.

    09:08-09:18

    But he says, and we urge you brothers, admonish the idol.

    09:21-09:23

    What's the idol?

    09:23-09:24

    What is the...

    09:24-09:26

    Actually, that was a military term.

    09:27-09:31

    And it was used about a soldier who wasn't keeping rank.

    09:31-09:39

    In fact, the Greeks used this word to describe men who refused to serve their country.

    09:41-09:43

    Like, well, what does that mean for the church?

    09:45-09:48

    Well, in church, we call them pew sitters.

    09:49-09:50

    You guys know what a pew is?

    09:50-09:51

    I might be showing my age here.

    09:52-09:53

    You know what a pew is?

    09:53-09:54

    (congregation laughing)

    09:56-09:57

    Pew sitters.

    09:59-10:03

    In the church, he's talking about, another word we could use is lazy.

    10:04-10:06

    I'm not very good at sugarcoating things.

    10:06-10:13

    He's talking about people that are attending, but they're not involved.

    10:16-10:19

    They just warm a seat every Sunday.

    10:21-10:24

    And then we'll see you next Sunday.

    10:26-10:32

    They don't serve anywhere in the church, or if they do, it's just minimal effort.

    10:34-10:36

    And they don't give, right?

    10:36-10:44

    And occasionally they might, you know, drop $5 in the collection, like I'm gonna give God a tip here, right?

    10:44-10:46

    Like service was good today, God.

    10:47-10:48

    I'm gonna give you a tip.

    10:50-10:52

    And they certainly don't go to small group, right?

    10:52-10:54

    I don't need small group.

    10:58-11:00

    Here's the thing about pew sitters.

    11:01-11:04

    They think that their spiritual gift is criticism.

    11:05-11:06

    And that's not on the list.

    11:08-11:09

    Do you know what pew sitters are like?

    11:12-11:19

    Pew sitters are like those two old Muppets that sat in the balcony.

    11:21-11:21

    (congregation laughing)

    11:21-11:24

    Now, I gotta be honest with you, total transparency here.

    11:25-11:34

    When I was a kid, I always wanted to watch the Muppets, but I absolutely couldn't because I was terrified of those two.

    11:35-11:37

    I was, this is absolutely true.

    11:37-11:38

    I was terrified.

    11:39-11:42

    Statler and Waldorf, I was scared to death.

    11:42-11:45

    And if my family was watching the Muppets, I wouldn't even go in the room.

    11:46-11:49

    I was scared of them, they were so evil to me.

    11:50-11:52

    I mean, think about it.

    11:52-11:55

    They were always off by themselves, right?

    11:56-11:57

    Away from everybody else.

    11:57-11:59

    They were never involved with the rest of them.

    11:59-12:01

    They were detached and by themselves.

    12:02-12:05

    And all they did was laugh at everyone and make fun of them.

    12:05-12:10

    "Oh, oh, look at that, frog and a pig, oh." And it was just like, that is so creepy.

    12:12-12:16

    And I was thinking about them this week because that's what Paul's talking about here.

    12:17-12:18

    That's the idol.

    12:18-12:20

    They don't get involved.

    12:21-12:24

    They just sit back and criticize everything else.

    12:29-12:35

    You see the idol have a problem and it's a problem of the will.

    12:36-12:40

    Write that down because that's gonna be so important here.

    12:41-12:42

    It's a problem of the will.

    12:45-12:54

    These are people that choose to be consumers, not investors in the church.

    12:58-13:06

    So what do we do? What do we do with our Statlers and Waldorf's here? What do we do with them?

    13:07-13:08

    Well, what does he say to do?

    13:10-13:11

    What does he say to do?

    13:11-13:12

    Say it.

    13:13-13:13

    Admonish.

    13:14-13:15

    Like, well, what does that mean?

    13:16-13:27

    Well, the Greek literally means to put some sense into it or instruct about inevitable consequences.

    13:28-13:30

    It just, it means warn them is what it means.

    13:30-13:32

    Just warn them like, hey, hey.

    13:33-13:37

    Another word we would use for that is to give them the Dutch uncle talk.

    13:40-13:42

    Like, hey, you gotta get on board here.

    13:43-13:45

    I noticed you've been coming to church here for a while.

    13:45-13:46

    Where are you serving?

    13:46-13:46

    I'm not really serving.

    13:47-13:47

    Well, why not?

    13:49-13:50

    Are you in a small group?

    13:50-13:51

    No, I don't go to a small group.

    13:51-13:51

    Why don't you?

    13:53-13:54

    Because the church is about relationships.

    13:54-13:55

    You need to get involved.

    13:55-13:56

    You need to get plugged in.

    13:56-13:58

    You need to serve in some way.

    13:59-14:02

    This church is about making disciples, right?

    14:03-14:04

    We're not entertaining.

    14:05-14:12

    We're about making disciples, and we believe that a disciple of Jesus Christ worships Christ, walks with Christ, and works for Christ.

    14:12-14:13

    Are you doing that?

    14:15-14:17

    Well, I'm not really doing it.

    14:17-14:18

    Well, you need to start doing it.

    14:20-14:21

    You need to get involved.

    14:24-14:34

    You know, with this building project, you know, 11 acres or what, up in New Sewickley, You gotta get involved in serving, in giving.

    14:39-14:49

    That's a problem in our culture, and it has been for a while, but we live in a culture where it's just, it's a consumer mentality, right?

    14:49-15:10

    And you look at churches, like you look at, you know, Target versus Walmart versus, you know, Costco, what, it's this consumer mentality that I choose a church based on who has the nicest playground equipment or who serves the best coffee or which service is the shortest, who has the best fog machines.

    15:10-15:17

    And it's just consumer mentality, but it all boils down to what do I like and what do I prefer?

    15:17-15:23

    And we get this mindset that church is this place where I go to receive and it's not.

    15:24-15:26

    Church is a place where you go to give.

    15:26-15:29

    We are all here to give something.

    15:30-15:31

    (congregation laughing)

    15:32-15:34

    See, God gave you gifts.

    15:35-15:39

    And if you're like, man, man, I feel like I'm a puss it or is he talking about me?

    15:39-15:41

    I wanna just encourage you.

    15:42-15:45

    Listen, God gave you a gift to use to serve him.

    15:47-15:49

    God gave you money.

    15:49-15:51

    Are you giving back to him?

    15:53-15:57

    And that's why Paul says, those who are just sitting there, he goes, admonish them.

    15:58-15:59

    Admonish them.

    16:02-16:08

    And that's, this is tough because we by nature prefer to avoid these kinds of conversations, right?

    16:09-16:11

    We prefer to avoid them.

    16:11-16:14

    Well, what if, like what if they get mad at me?

    16:15-16:17

    Well, just think about that for a second.

    16:18-16:26

    What if they get mad at you because you're encouraging them to be serious about their walk with Christ, in the body of Christ?

    16:28-16:29

    Is that unreasonable?

    16:31-16:34

    Like, well, what if they just get mad and go to another church?

    16:34-16:36

    And I would say, well, I hope they don't.

    16:39-16:46

    I really hope that they step up here because reality is if they just go to another church, they're just gonna be lazy there too.

    16:48-16:51

    We're trying to encourage people, look, be a disciple of Christ.

    16:52-16:53

    Step up.

    16:55-16:56

    Be intentional.

    16:58-17:00

    Admonish the idol.

    17:02-17:11

    When we were kids, and you can understand, my mother was just, she was just a music nut.

    17:11-17:15

    She played the piano and she insisted that all of her kids were musicians.

    17:16-17:23

    And I had to tell you that so you understand the gravity of this little illustration.

    17:23-17:31

    but my younger brother was in the band, as we all were, played the same trumpet that got passed down from sibling to sibling.

    17:31-17:32

    Anybody else have the hand-me-down instruments?

    17:35-17:37

    By the time he had it, it looked like it's been through some wars.

    17:38-17:43

    But so he was in the band, and he was just in elementary school.

    17:43-17:45

    He was just, I don't know, fourth grade or whatever.

    17:45-17:45

    He was just a little squirt.

    17:46-17:53

    But one day my mother noticed that he wasn't carrying his trumpet to and from school.

    17:53-18:06

    And she goes, "Why aren't you taking your trumpet?" And he said as nonchalantly as anything, he goes, "Oh, I quit the band." And again, if you knew my mother, she went through the roof.

    18:07-18:08

    She's like, "You quit the band?

    18:08-18:11

    "Well, why'd you quit the band?" Not acceptable, right?

    18:12-18:16

    She goes, "Why did you quit the band?" He goes, "Oh, don't worry.

    18:17-18:27

    "They're doing just fine without me." And you know, some people have that attitude about church.

    18:28-18:33

    You can come here and you can look at the worship team, they go, they wouldn't need me.

    18:35-18:36

    They're doing just fine.

    18:36-18:38

    The worship team does need you.

    18:39-18:42

    You've got a musical talent, step up and use it.

    18:42-18:51

    Or you can look at, you know, whether it's the preaching or the kids ministry or youth group, like, well, looks like they got all their ducks in a row, they don't need me.

    18:51-18:53

    That is so wrong.

    18:53-18:54

    We do need you.

    18:59-19:12

    And I got to think, you know, this whole attitude of getting back to my little brother here, this whole attitude of all the band's doing just fine without me.

    19:12-19:14

    What if everybody in the band had that attitude?

    19:16-19:16

    Right?

    19:17-19:19

    What if everybody in the band was like, well, I'm not important.

    19:21-19:23

    But what if that happened in the church?

    19:24-19:26

    What if everybody in the church was like, well, they don't need me.

    19:30-19:35

    Being part of a family means that you're responsible for contributing to the family.

    19:39-19:41

    You are responsible for what happens here.

    19:43-19:46

    And Paul says the idol need admonished, right?

    19:47-19:49

    Number two, the fainthearted need encouraged.

    19:51-19:54

    The fainthearted need encouraged.

    19:56-20:00

    Now this word fainthearted is an interesting word.

    20:00-20:06

    Literally it means little sold, S-O-U-L-E-D, little sold.

    20:07-20:09

    It's somebody that's worried.

    20:11-20:14

    They're down, they have no joy in their walk.

    20:16-20:18

    Or we would just say that it's somebody that's discouraged.

    20:20-20:26

    They know the promises of God and they desperately wanna believe the promises of God.

    20:28-20:31

    But life circumstances just have them so overwhelmed.

    20:34-20:35

    Maybe they experienced a loss.

    20:37-20:41

    Maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's their finances, maybe it's a health issue.

    20:44-20:46

    Whatever got them there, they're depressed.

    20:47-20:51

    Like, I just want to throw in a towel.

    20:51-20:55

    I am just so done with, I just...

    21:00-21:08

    You see, the idol, we said they have a problem of the will, and the fainthearted have a problem of the emotions.

    21:09-21:12

    These people are just in a bad place emotionally.

    21:12-21:14

    Write that down, problem of the emotions.

    21:16-21:17

    So what do we do with them?

    21:17-21:18

    Well, look at verse 14 again.

    21:18-21:24

    He says, "Encourage the fainthearted." Encourage the fainthearted.

    21:26-21:27

    What does encourage mean?

    21:29-21:31

    Literally, it means speak by coming close.

    21:31-21:34

    That's what that means, speak by coming close.

    21:36-21:38

    And that tells me it's about the relationship.

    21:40-21:45

    You need, when somebody's fainthearted, when somebody's emotionally at the end, what do they need?

    21:45-21:49

    They need you to come and put an arm around them and say, "Hey, hey, it's okay.

    21:50-21:51

    We're gonna get through this.

    21:52-21:56

    It's all right." You're gonna cheer them on.

    21:57-21:59

    And I would say this, please hear me.

    22:00-22:03

    Never, ever discount somebody's feelings.

    22:05-22:12

    When somebody's like, you know, I'm feeling sad for whatever, Never be like, you shouldn't feel sad.

    22:14-22:15

    You can't help how you feel.

    22:16-22:19

    Feelings are just, they're just feelings.

    22:20-22:21

    You can't help that.

    22:26-22:28

    So how do you encourage them?

    22:30-22:31

    Encourage them how?

    22:32-22:33

    Well, how about a scripture?

    22:34-22:43

    Maybe say something like, you know something from God's word that's really encouraged me, and then share something that God has used to lift your spirits when you've been there.

    22:44-22:49

    Maybe that, or maybe say, you know what, can we just stop and pray right now about that?

    22:49-22:50

    Let's just stop for a second.

    22:51-22:55

    Can we just right now give this over to God and stop and pray for them on the spot?

    22:57-23:11

    But you know what I think is almost as big as even scripture and prayer when it comes to fulfilling the command to encourage, is just your presence with them.

    23:13-23:16

    To say, look, I'm with you, it's okay.

    23:18-23:22

    Whatever's happening, I'm gonna be right there with you.

    23:24-23:27

    Some people just need to know that they're not alone.

    23:28-23:32

    So the faint-hearted, they need encouraged.

    23:34-23:39

    And then number three, write this down, the weak need help.

    23:42-23:44

    You're like, where did you come up with that, Pastor Jeff?

    23:44-23:50

    Well, look at verse 14, he says, "Help the weak." That's, I know, I know.

    23:51-23:52

    I spent a lot of time on that one.

    23:54-23:55

    Help the weak.

    23:57-23:59

    We're laughing, but look, it's so simple.

    24:01-24:02

    We're like, well, what's weak?

    24:02-24:03

    What does that mean?

    24:03-24:05

    Weaker people that are susceptible to sin.

    24:07-24:16

    It's talking, the weak here is referring to people that sort of fall into the same sin over and over.

    24:16-24:17

    Do you know anybody like that?

    24:17-24:20

    Don't point, but you know anybody like that?

    24:20-24:28

    It's like, we just dealt with this like Thursday and we're back in the ditch again, upside down with the wheels spinning.

    24:28-24:37

    Like again, they just keep falling into the same sin, Same destructive habits, patterns over and over.

    24:38-24:43

    Some people, they just get stuck and they just can't break it.

    24:45-24:48

    Maybe it's overspending.

    24:48-24:51

    I know I don't have the money for that, but I just can't seem to help it.

    24:53-24:55

    Maybe it's overeating.

    25:00-25:01

    Maybe it's losing your temper.

    25:04-25:07

    Maybe it's looking at stuff on the computer that you shouldn't be looking at.

    25:09-25:14

    Maybe it's addiction to a chemical of some kind.

    25:15-25:23

    Whatever. But for the weak, you know, we said the idol had a problem of the will and the faint-hearted have a problem of the emotions.

    25:23-25:26

    For the weak, it's a problem of the spirit. They're in bondage to sin.

    25:28-25:30

    They're in bondage to sin.

    25:32-25:33

    (clears throat)

    25:34-25:35

    So what do you do for them?

    25:37-25:37

    What do you do for them?

    25:38-25:43

    Well, he says very clearly, help the weak.

    25:47-25:49

    What does that mean, help them?

    25:49-25:52

    It just means pick them up.

    25:52-25:54

    That's what that means, pick them up.

    25:58-26:03

    meaning this, give real help.

    26:06-26:10

    Real help, not what we typically do in church world.

    26:11-26:12

    I'll pray for you.

    26:13-26:14

    We say that to them, right?

    26:14-26:15

    I'll pray for you.

    26:15-26:18

    And in the back of my mind, we're thinking, I'll pray for you.

    26:19-26:22

    And I hope that you never bring this up to me again, right?

    26:26-26:27

    Yes, pray.

    26:27-26:30

    Yes, absolutely pray, pray on the spot, right?

    26:30-26:31

    Let's pray right now.

    26:32-26:34

    But they need more than that.

    26:36-26:38

    They need help.

    26:38-26:40

    They need a plan to get unstuck.

    26:41-26:42

    Like, well, what does that mean?

    26:42-26:44

    That means counseling and accountability.

    26:45-26:46

    That's what that means.

    26:47-27:06

    And listen, if you're dealing with somebody like this and you're like, man, I'm not sure the best way to help them, then you need to talk to one of our pastors or elders, or maybe talk to that person and say, "Hey, I'm gonna go with you "to talk to one of the pastors or elders." But you're stuck and you need help.

    27:08-27:15

    Not just the, "I hope it'll get better next week," or, "I'll pray for you, let me know in a month how it goes." You need real help.

    27:15-27:19

    You need a plan to get unstuck.

    27:19-27:21

    That's what counseling is.

    27:24-27:41

    This is what Paul was talking about in Galatians 6, 1, when he says, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness." Like, wait, wait, wait, hang on a second.

    27:44-27:49

    What's the difference between the weak and the idle?

    27:49-27:51

    I mean, they're both in sin, right?

    27:52-27:55

    So what's the difference between these two?

    27:55-27:57

    And the answer is the will.

    27:57-27:58

    That's the difference.

    27:59-28:05

    You see, these people want to get to a better place.

    28:08-28:20

    The difference is the idle are choosing to sin while the weak are struggling with sin and want out.

    28:21-28:23

    That's why you have to handle them differently.

    28:25-28:32

    And some people need you to give them a real plan of escape.

    28:34-28:34

    The weak need help.

    28:38-28:40

    You're like, what was this sermon series about again?

    28:41-28:45

    Number four, you need discernment.

    28:50-28:51

    You need discernment.

    28:53-28:55

    Did you ever hear that old expression?

    28:56-28:57

    I'm sure you have.

    28:57-28:58

    Did you ever hear that old expression?

    28:58-28:59

    If you're only tools, a hammer.

    29:00-29:00

    How's the rest of that go?

    29:02-29:03

    If you're only tools, a hammer, you what?

    29:04-29:06

    You treat every problem like a nail, right?

    29:09-29:13

    And that's how a lot of ministry happens in the church.

    29:15-29:17

    Is people are like, well, you know what?

    29:17-29:19

    I'm an admonisher, man.

    29:19-29:20

    I just Dutch uncle.

    29:20-29:22

    I just tell it to people straight.

    29:22-29:28

    And they treat every problem like a nail, and that doesn't work.

    29:31-29:33

    There's some people, they're like, you know what?

    29:33-29:46

    I'm really good at just helping people, and they just wanna try to help everyone, when some people don't really need counseling, they need a kick.

    29:49-29:55

    but you can't see yourself as the hammer because not every problem is a nail.

    29:55-29:58

    You can't have a one size fits all approach.

    29:58-30:01

    And listen, this is where discernment comes in.

    30:03-30:10

    Because here, you notice Paul used some very specific wording here.

    30:11-30:19

    And what he's pointing out under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, what we're learning here is you can't treat every problem the same way.

    30:20-30:21

    Do you know what I mean?

    30:24-30:26

    Because you're gonna run into some problems if you do that.

    30:27-30:33

    Like for example, let's just, we'll move this one aside here.

    30:37-30:39

    What if we did that?

    30:40-30:46

    What if somebody was lazy and we'll help them?

    30:47-30:49

    We're going to give you a plan to help.

    30:49-30:51

    They don't need instructions.

    30:51-30:52

    They know what to do.

    30:53-30:55

    They just refuse to do it.

    30:55-30:56

    So that ain't going to work.

    30:56-30:57

    What about the faint hearted?

    30:57-31:00

    What about the person that's super discouraged?

    31:00-31:04

    And we come along and we want to admonish them, knock it off.

    31:04-31:05

    You shouldn't feel that way.

    31:05-31:07

    You're making everybody else feel bad.

    31:07-31:09

    We don't like your negativity.

    31:09-31:10

    Knock it off.

    31:11-31:12

    What?

    31:14-31:16

    We're encouraging the weak.

    31:17-31:19

    Somebody's stuck in sin.

    31:19-31:20

    They can't break the habit.

    31:20-31:22

    We just put an arm around them.

    31:22-31:33

    We're like, "Here, there, everything's gonna be okay." And you walk away and they're like, "Things are not okay because I'm still stuck." You see, that doesn't work, does it?

    31:35-31:37

    We could shuffle the deck again, right?

    31:37-31:39

    Just move everyone down a floor.

    31:40-31:41

    All right, put him up a floor.

    31:43-31:44

    Does that work?

    31:45-31:47

    That doesn't work either.

    31:49-31:51

    That doesn't work either, does it?

    31:51-32:01

    When somebody's idle, when they're not stepping up and they need to, well, we're just gonna put an arm around them, hey, it's okay, we'll be lazy together.

    32:03-32:05

    I'll be the Waldorf to your Statler.

    32:07-32:08

    That doesn't work.

    32:10-32:11

    They need a firmer hand.

    32:12-32:20

    Or like somebody's pain hearted, somebody's emotionally struggling, they're against the help.

    32:20-32:22

    Hey, you shouldn't feel that way.

    32:23-32:24

    You shouldn't feel sad.

    32:24-32:26

    Let me tell you why you shouldn't feel sad.

    32:26-32:29

    I'm gonna give you four spiritual principles to not feel sad today.

    32:29-32:32

    Like that's not the problem.

    32:33-32:35

    And you're not gonna help them out of their sadness.

    32:39-32:41

    But this is one you see a lot in the church.

    32:42-32:43

    admonishing the weak.

    32:45-32:51

    I've seen that in this church and please, hear discernment, that's why we're going through this, discernment.

    32:52-33:00

    I've seen it where somebody's weak and they're like, "Man, I am really struggling with this." And then we're just like, how in the world could you be struggling with that?

    33:00-33:02

    Shame on you, you should know better.

    33:03-33:05

    You know what the Bible says, you shouldn't be acting like that.

    33:06-33:13

    You know, think of your wife and your kids, and you should, and we just like lay the hammer down on them Like, I'm coming to you for help.

    33:13-33:15

    I'm confessing that I need help.

    33:15-33:16

    I need you to help me.

    33:16-33:19

    And we're just like kicking them into the dirt.

    33:24-33:26

    So you see, that doesn't work either, does it?

    33:27-33:31

    So maybe, just maybe, this is what I think.

    33:33-33:48

    I think maybe the Holy Spirit knew something when he said, "This is specifically how you should minister to people." You're like, "Well, how do I know?

    33:49-33:54

    How do I know?" This is where discernment comes in.

    33:54-33:56

    This is where you need to ask yourself some questions.

    33:57-34:01

    You need to, when somebody has a problem, this is what we do in counseling.

    34:01-34:03

    You need to ask yourself, is this a rebellion issue?

    34:05-34:06

    Is this some kind of a rebellion issue?

    34:07-34:09

    They know what to do and they're, I'm not doing that.

    34:09-34:11

    Well, we got a problem of the will.

    34:12-34:13

    Is it an emotional issue?

    34:15-34:17

    Their emotions are just kind of ruling them right now.

    34:18-34:20

    Okay, then maybe they're in the faint hearted category.

    34:23-34:24

    They in bondage of some kind.

    34:24-34:30

    Well, if they are, if there's some sin habit they can't break, then they're in the weak category.

    34:33-34:39

    And if you don't use discernment, Listen, you're not going to help anyone.

    34:40-34:47

    In fact, I would suggest to you, if you're not going to use discernment, you're going to do more harm than good.

    34:51-34:54

    So listen, you aren't a hammer.

    34:55-34:56

    Every problem isn't a nail.

    34:58-35:00

    You and I need discernment.

    35:02-35:08

    And finally, number five, we all need grace.

    35:12-35:13

    We all need grace.

    35:14-35:25

    These last commands are for everybody because I got to deal with your issues and you got to deal with mine.

    35:28-35:31

    So look at verse 14 and 15, the rest of it.

    35:32-35:44

    He says, "Be patient." Be patient with them all.

    35:47-36:02

    Verse 15, "See that no one repays anyone, evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.

    36:04-36:05

    We all need grace.

    36:05-36:08

    Three things are very quickly right, obvious.

    36:08-36:09

    Be patient.

    36:11-36:12

    Be patient.

    36:12-36:17

    Yeah, these three categories are different, right?

    36:18-36:20

    But they all got one thing in common, right?

    36:21-36:24

    They all got one thing in common, and that's this.

    36:27-36:28

    They all need patience.

    36:31-36:35

    They can bother, they can annoy, they can frustrate.

    36:35-36:52

    And I just want to encourage you in the Lord, take a deep breath and remember that we all need patience and we all require patience.

    36:54-36:56

    Let her be, be merciful.

    37:00-37:13

    Be merciful. Paul reminds us, see that no one repays anyone evil for evil. Right? Sometimes you get hurt in the church. Have you noticed? You don't want it to happen, but it does.

    37:14-37:22

    There's slander, there's accusations, there's insults, and the way of the world, the way of the flesh is to retaliate.

    37:23-37:25

    You hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you back.

    37:27-37:30

    You know, paybacks are not our responsibility.

    37:34-37:36

    Do you trust God to handle that?

    37:37-37:40

    God said he would handle that, right?

    37:41-37:42

    Do you believe God?

    37:44-37:45

    Well, then you be merciful.

    37:47-37:49

    And lastly, do good.

    37:53-38:01

    Look for ways to love people, regardless if they deserve it.

    38:03-38:05

    You're like, regardless if they deserve it?

    38:06-38:06

    Yeah.

    38:07-38:08

    Do you know what that's called?

    38:09-38:09

    It's called grace.

    38:10-38:11

    Have you heard of that?

    38:13-38:14

    Do you know what grace is?

    38:16-38:33

    Grace is when a rebellious self-centered sinner has chosen a path to hell over acknowledging his holy God.

    38:35-38:46

    And God sends his son to die in the place of that rebel and to raise from the dead, to take away sin and to give the promise of eternal life.

    38:46-38:47

    That's grace.

    38:47-38:52

    And we should be people that are familiar with the concept.

    38:53-38:59

    And that's why we should be looking to do good to one another.

    39:02-39:11

    I don't know, it kind of cracked me up a little bit because I imagine there were people that read this and they were like, it says, seek to do good to one another.

    39:11-39:17

    And it's like, well, surely if Paul knew my experience, "No, he doesn't mean so-and-so.

    39:18-39:28

    "I love this last race." He goes, "And to everyone." Just in case you're looking for some little loophole, everyone gets grace.

    39:28-39:31

    You're the Oprah of grace, okay?

    39:32-39:38

    Grace for you and grace for you, and everyone in attendance today at Harvest Bible Chapel gets grace.

    39:43-39:45

    our worship team would make their way back up.

    39:47-39:51

    Just want to remind you that we're all works in progress.

    39:53-40:08

    And we've all, at one point or another in our walks, we've all been here to some degree for some amount of time.

    40:08-40:09

    We've all been there.

    40:12-40:20

    And someone has been patient and merciful and good to us.

    40:23-40:24

    We all need grace.

    40:26-40:36

    We need discernment, not just in our personal walks, we need discernment in dealing with people.

    40:40-40:43

    like, well, man, what if I fail?

    40:45-40:54

    Well, I want to encourage you by saying the only way you would really fail is if you just gave up on someone.

    40:57-41:01

    People have problems, so let's meet them where they are.

    41:03-41:36

    Let's love them in the Lord, and let's discern the right way to get them back on track. Let's pray. Father in heaven, we thank you again for your word, because so often we are so foolish and so just wayward. We insist on and doing things our way.

    41:38-41:46

    God, I thank you for this body of believers that you have assembled here and that you are growing here.

    41:47-41:59

    And I just ask, Father, for my brothers and sisters that through patience and mercy and grace, we would learn to use discernment to best meet people where they need met.

    42:01-42:03

    Father, we can't do this without the wisdom from your word.

    42:03-42:11

    We can't do this if your Holy Spirit isn't at work in our hearts with your word.

    42:13-42:21

    So again, Father, have us be faithful unto you and faithful to each other.

    42:23-42:25

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. How can you tell the difference between the idle, the fainthearted, and the weak?

  3. How can you specifically carry out the command to admonish someone in the church who is just attending and watching, but not getting involved (v14)? What would you say to that person?

Breakout
Pray for one another.