How to Love Difficult People: How to Love Your Enemies

Introduction:

Who Are My Enemies?

  1. My enemies are people With bad intentions .
  2. My enemies are Who I say they are .

Jesus's Example (Romans 5:8-11)

Romans 5:8,10-11 - but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us... For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Titus 3:3-5 - For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy...

To Love My Enemies:

  1. I must prepare To be humiliated . (Luke 6:27b-30)
  2. I must see that Reciprocity is not love . (Luke 6:32-34)
  3. I must Intentionally love them the way God does . (Luke 6:31,35-36)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Intentional Love: How to Love Difficult People: How to Love Your Enemies
Jeff Miller / Rich Sprunk
  • 01:15-01:18

    Open your Bibles to Luke chapter 6.

    01:19-01:23

    We're gonna be looking at verses 27 through 36 this morning.

    01:24-01:26

    This is one of the hard teachings of Jesus.

    01:27-01:35

    He says, "Love your enemies." He's our master, we are his slaves, so we must obey his commandments.

    01:36-01:39

    And we're his friends when we keep his commands.

    01:41-01:53

    This one is tough, but we must love our enemies we don't, we slam the door on the gospel, we become a hindrance rather than a help to our enemy's salvation.

    01:54-01:55

    That's the sermon.

    01:56-02:07

    We must love our enemies because living out the gospel before them is more important than our pride, our reputation, and our drive for self-preservation.

    02:09-02:11

    But there's exceptions to every rule, right?

    02:13-02:14

    Right?

    02:14-02:15

    Nobody agreed?

    02:15-02:16

    There's exceptions to every rule.

    02:17-02:20

    So, let's pray.

    02:22-02:30

    Our gracious, loving Father, all this month, we are looking at how to love difficult people.

    02:32-02:37

    Perhaps none so difficult as those we believe to be our enemies.

    02:40-02:42

    Perhaps no one needs to hear this sermon more than me.

    02:44-02:46

    I am not a master of these things.

    02:46-02:48

    I have by no means arrived.

    02:51-02:56

    I am just the messenger this morning of your truth.

    02:58-03:10

    And I pray your people hear, not me, but we hear from you that your word brings deep conviction.

    03:12-03:36

    and out of conviction, sorrow, and out of sorrow, repentance, and out of repentance, love, reconciliation, friendship, that our lives might be a living witness to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    03:39-03:42

    Lord, it's in your name we ask that you do this.

    03:45-03:48

    Luke 6.27, are you there?

    03:49-03:55

    This morning I don't have an amusing story or anecdote to start us off.

    03:56-04:01

    I don't think I have any clever or amusing illustrations to interject along the way.

    04:02-04:11

    It seemed best to me to deal with this scripture straight up and not smooth it over or make you feel at ease with it.

    04:11-04:15

    I am aiming for conviction and not contentment.

    04:17-04:21

    The setting for our text is known as Jesus' Sermon on the Plain.

    04:22-04:27

    He had spent the previous night in prayer on a mountain after which he appointed his 12 apostles.

    04:28-04:41

    And as he comes down from the mountain, he's met by a great crowd of disciples and a multitude of people, Jews and Gentiles from all over, from Jerusalem, Judea, and the seacoast cities of Tyre and Sidon.

    04:42-04:48

    They came to be healed of their diseases, to be delivered from their demons, but also to hear Him.

    04:50-05:00

    We pick up at verse 27 where Jesus says, "But I say to you who hear," let's stop there, what does He mean, "you who hear"?

    05:00-05:49

    It's like another phrase Jesus often used, "Let him who has ears to hear, hear." Jesus is pointing out that this next part is not going to be accepted by everybody, including his disciples. It's going to be so different, so difficult, that people are going to reject it. They're going to say, "He doesn't really mean that. It's something we should try to do, but Jesus doesn't really expect us to do this. Oh but he does. Jesus never says anything like, "I strongly encourage you to do this," or "Hey this is a key life hack for all of my disciples." No, Jesus means what he says and he says what he means. And what he is about to say is for those who are willing to hear.

    05:51-06:53

    It's going to be a difficult teaching and people, many people, are going to reject it. What about you? Are you going to have ears to hear this message? Are you willing to say right now, "I'm going to listen to every single thing that Jesus says in this passage." And what's the first thing that he says? "Love your enemies." Really? Really? Love my enemies? Notice he doesn't say, "Don't have enemies or try not to have enemies and he doesn't say love your enemy he says love your enemies enemies are a fact of life and we all have more than one and Jesus says we must love them let's break this down a little bit further we've looked at the definition of love already in this series this is a gap a love love that is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional.

    06:54-06:58

    It's the highest form of love, the love that God has for His people.

    07:00-07:02

    And His love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13.

    07:03-07:07

    It's a verb, an active, doing love.

    07:08-07:09

    And who is it to be lavished on?

    07:11-07:11

    Your enemies.

    07:13-07:27

    Now you might be like the lawyer that we studied in Dan's sermon at the beginning of the month, who wanted to justify himself and said, "Who's my neighbor?" You may say, "Well, who are my enemies?" I don't think I have any enemies.

    07:28-07:32

    Since I don't have any enemies to love, I'm going to think about something else for a while this morning.

    07:34-07:35

    But you do have enemies.

    07:36-07:38

    Let's look at how we define them.

    07:40-07:45

    First, my enemies are people with bad intentions.

    07:47-07:50

    An enemy is someone who wants to harm you or hurt you.

    07:50-07:53

    An enemy wants to take something from you.

    07:54-07:55

    They may want to destroy you.

    07:57-07:59

    Now, I need to insert a caveat here.

    08:01-08:03

    The rule of law still applies.

    08:04-08:07

    We have laws and police officers and judges in court.

    08:08-08:15

    The whole counsel of God tells us that these authorities exist to deter and punish wrongdoers.

    08:16-08:21

    You have a legal right to self-defense in our nation.

    08:24-08:35

    And to defend others from criminal acts, prevent grievous bodily harm, or to lay down your life for others demonstrates great love and mercy.

    08:37-08:44

    So do not think I am saying you must roll over if someone is invading your home in the dead of night.

    08:46-08:49

    or violently trying to harm you or another person.

    08:50-08:52

    Why we have trained security here?

    08:52-08:54

    To protect people.

    08:57-09:07

    But you know, despite sensational news stories and tragic events, the probability of those things happening especially where we live, is low.

    09:08-09:17

    So our focus this morning is primarily on people who are enemies in our day-to-day relationships, and particularly because of our faith in Jesus.

    09:19-09:23

    For example, the communist Chinese government is an enemy of Christians.

    09:25-09:29

    They surveil them, they deprive them of jobs, and imprison them.

    09:31-09:33

    Followers of other religions may be enemies.

    09:34-09:40

    Try to preach the gospel or become a disciple of Jesus in an Islamic country and see what happened.

    09:42-09:47

    In the last four years, we've seen pastors arrested for keeping their churches open.

    09:48-09:55

    We've seen pro-life advocates arrested in nighttime SWAT raids for maximum shock effect and then prosecuted.

    09:57-10:03

    We've seen Antifa openly attack Christians holding a public prayer service.

    10:04-10:11

    We've seen Christian bakers and photographers relentlessly persecuted for their deeply held convictions.

    10:12-10:20

    And if radical groups will assault Jews on college campuses, could we imagine they would not do the same to Christians?

    10:22-10:25

    So yes, we do have real enemies in this world.

    10:26-10:31

    Now again, statistically, few of us are going to face these sorts of bad actors.

    10:33-11:00

    But at one time or another, we've faced bullies despise us. We encounter people who hate us because of our color, our religion, our ancestry, our economic situation, or our perceived privileges. And there are many ways an enemy can seek to destroy us with gossip and lies, rumor-mongering, backstabbing. Enemies can wreck your reputation. They sow seeds of mistrust.

    11:01-11:05

    They may try to tear you down to your face or in front of others just to build themselves up.

    11:07-11:31

    They may be so angry at you that they lash out verbally. They may smash or destroy your property. They may even assault you. But look, rather than me try to answer for all of us the question, "Who are my enemies?" A better indicator would be this, "My enemies are who I say they are.

    11:33-11:33

    That's right.

    11:34-11:36

    Your enemies are who you define them to be.

    11:38-11:40

    They could be family members or former friends.

    11:41-11:45

    They've stabbed you in the back or done something you consider unforgivable.

    11:46-11:47

    They've lied about you.

    11:47-11:50

    They've broken confidences and broken faith.

    11:51-11:54

    You loan them something, and they never returned it.

    11:55-11:56

    They're ungrateful.

    11:57-11:58

    They take advantage of you.

    12:00-12:02

    Your enemies can be anyone with whom you find fault.

    12:03-12:06

    You don't like the things they say or the way they say them.

    12:07-12:20

    Maybe they've called you out on something or told you what you needed to hear, and instead of humbly accepting that truth, you justify yourself instead and put them on your dirt list.

    12:22-12:31

    Your enemies are the politicians you despise, people who hold a different political viewpoint, and the people you rail against on social media.

    12:33-12:39

    Maybe you're angry or bewildered at such people, and you wonder, how can people be so hateful?

    12:41-12:48

    The same people who rightly decry mass shootings one week are this week wailing, the assassin missed.

    12:49-12:49

    And you know what?

    12:49-12:51

    It's his own fault he got shot anyway.

    12:53-12:57

    Well, you know, such hypocrisy, we can't let that go unchecked, can we?

    12:59-13:03

    All week there have been plenty of people jumping in and verbally thumping their enemies.

    13:03-13:04

    Did you get your licks into maybe?

    13:06-13:09

    Those people, those people, who do they think they are?

    13:10-13:14

    Their big egos and their boastful and hateful ideas.

    13:16-13:26

    You despise their values and their positions on abortion and human sexuality and welfare and immigration or innumerable other subjects.

    13:26-13:30

    In your thinking and your imagination, they are all enemies.

    13:34-13:38

    Perhaps you've defined your enemies by what you've done to them.

    13:40-13:56

    Maybe you haven't returned what was owed or done what was right and found it more convenient to jettison the relationship and find fault with the other person than to confess and ask for forgiveness and seek reconciliation.

    13:58-14:08

    Maybe you are the giver of unsolicited sage advice and it was rejected and pride has led you to reject and break off the relationship.

    14:11-14:30

    You've been the gossip, the liar, the rumor monger, backstabber. You've spitefully used others, exchanged harsh words, or acted in your own self-interest. You haven't just burned the bridges, you've blown them to smithereens, and all your enemies are self-made.

    14:32-14:45

    However you have come by your enemies, however you define them, Jesus says you You are to love them, love them sacrificially, unconditionally, selflessly.

    14:47-14:48

    Does he really mean that?

    14:49-14:54

    It would be good to look at Jesus' example, see if he really means what he says.

    14:56-15:00

    Let's look at Romans chapter 5, verses 8 and 10 and 11.

    15:02-15:08

    God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

    15:11-15:23

    For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, how much more now that we are reconciled shall we be saved by his life?

    15:25-15:36

    More than that, we rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." Think about that for a moment.

    15:37-16:08

    Before we repented and believed in Jesus, we were all enemies of God. We indulged in high-handed sin against him and against others. Titus chapter 3 verses 3 through 5 says that we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and other pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.

    16:10-16:21

    When the goodness and loving kindness of God appeared, our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy.

    16:23-16:27

    That's a good description of people living as enemies of God and people, isn't it?

    16:28-16:34

    Passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.

    16:36-16:40

    There's a great deal of malice and hate flying around right now.

    16:42-16:46

    But God, but God, aren't those the best words?

    16:46-16:53

    But God saved us and reconciled us to himself while we were his diehard enemies.

    16:55-16:57

    Jesus did that out of great love and mercy for us.

    16:59-17:01

    And what did that look like?

    17:01-17:06

    What had to be done to destroy the hostility between us and God?

    17:07-17:09

    Well it required the death of Jesus.

    17:12-17:20

    It involved betrayal, a nighttime arrest with force, an abandonment and denial by his friends.

    17:21-17:26

    The betrayal led to assaults, beatings, and an illegal trial by his enemies.

    17:28-17:52

    And it led to the full force of an indifferent, cruel, but civilized world power that mercilessly flogged him and subjected him to a brutal and humiliating death a cross. Rome used the cross as the most agonizing and protracted method of punishment to humiliate the convict and to terrify others.

    17:54-18:21

    We should not sentimentalize Jesus on the cross. Some churches will display an empty cross or a crucifix with Jesus bleeding a little bit and a cloth wrapped around his ways, but the reality is he hung up there naked and bloody in front of his mother, naked in front of the women who followed him, in front of the religious leaders who hated him, and for all the world to see.

    18:23-18:35

    The Son of God, naked and humiliated and covered with shame for you when you were his enemy. Write this down in the margin of your notes. My Jesus.

    18:37-19:00

    My Jesus naked and humiliated for me. Underline humiliated. It'll be a handy reference point for the rest of this message. You see, when Jesus says love your enemies, He knows the full measure of what it means and what it involves.

    19:02-19:06

    So let's proceed and get the full extent of what Jesus wants us to do.

    19:08-19:10

    Look at verses 27 through 30.

    19:11-19:50

    Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To the one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also. And from the one who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from the one who takes away your goods, do not demand them back." I thought about the ways I could make this next point. To love my enemies, I must prepare to do the unexpected, or to love my enemies I must prepare to act contrary to my own self-interest.

    19:52-19:55

    But those don't do justice to what Jesus is saying.

    19:56-20:10

    To love my enemies I must prepare to be humiliated. Not just humbled, not just act with humility, but outright humiliation.

    20:11-20:27

    Such an idea is so foreign and abhorrent to us that our response is almost immediately, "That can't be what Jesus meant." Although we have all been humiliated one or more times in our lives, it wasn't willingly.

    20:28-20:39

    Our drive for self-preservation rejects humiliation. When we're wronged, when someone does something bad to us, we want to strike back. We want revenge.

    20:39-20:55

    but look at the examples that Jesus uses. Far from retaliation, Jesus says we're to do good to those who hate us. We're to bless in response to cursing. We're to pray for those who abuse us.

    20:57-21:04

    Just like Jesus, naked and humiliated, said, "Father, forgive them.

    21:04-21:11

    They don't know what they do." He says to offer your other cheek to the one who strikes you.

    21:12-21:17

    Now, we aren't accustomed to getting slapped in the face all that often, I hope.

    21:19-21:29

    But the picture here, it's a humiliating slap to the face in the ancient world, such as a master slapping a servant.

    21:31-21:34

    But in our day, it might look something like this.

    21:34-21:38

    A superior deliberately insulting a subordinate in front of others.

    21:38-21:46

    It could be a snide remark or a sarcastic comment calculated to make you feel foolish or look small.

    21:47-21:51

    It's a snub intended to cause you maximum embarrassment.

    21:53-22:08

    Jesus says, "When that happens, don't retaliate." Allow yourself to be humiliated and bear the insult with self-control, and you will display a kind of dignity that is foreign to this world.

    22:10-22:13

    Jesus says if someone takes away your cloak, don't withhold your tunic.

    22:15-22:25

    Now in the first century, people would wear this loose linen garment next to their body as a tunic, be pinned or sewn at the shoulders, and then they might wear a cloak over top of that.

    22:27-22:31

    You could compare it to the way we wear a jacket over a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

    22:33-22:39

    Jesus says if someone takes away your cloak, either by force or to collect a debt, give them your tunic too.

    22:40-22:43

    Go the extra measure, go the extra mile.

    22:46-22:48

    Basically saying, be willing to strip down to your underwear.

    22:50-22:53

    We all know how embarrassing or humiliating that might be, right?

    22:54-22:59

    How many of us have had the dream of waking up, of going to school in your underwear?

    23:02-23:05

    But seriously, what Jesus means here is this.

    23:06-23:15

    Your willingness to be humiliated by your enemies will lay down a bright line between your behavior and theirs.

    23:16-23:21

    While they're doing something wicked, you will be a living illustration of the gospel.

    23:23-23:31

    We had a sermon a few weeks back on suffering because really this kind of response to our enemies is going to involve suffering.

    23:33-23:46

    But in the passage from Philippians 1, Paul wrote that living a life worthy of the gospel is a clear sign to your opponents or your enemies of their destruction, but your salvation, and that from God.

    23:48-23:57

    You see, it seems counterintuitive, but our willingness to suffer humiliation for the gospel can produce conviction in our enemies.

    23:58-24:27

    For instance, when one of the Roman soldiers who threw dice for Jesus' tunic saw how he breathed his last, he said, "Truly, this man was the son of God." Last, Jesus says, "To everyone who begs from you "and from one who takes away your goods, "do not demand them back." We get mad when we loan stuff to people and they don't return it.

    24:27-24:31

    Jesus goes a step further, says, "Don't ever ask for it back.

    24:34-24:38

    "Don't demand back what people take from you." We see this with kids, right?

    24:39-24:51

    Children playing with toys, a child grabs a toy from another, and the immediate response is, "Give that back!" And there's tussling and fighting and a big disturbance.

    24:54-25:00

    In adult life, it could be something as simple as Someone takes away your parking place that you've been patiently waiting for.

    25:02-25:06

    Someone grabs the last item off the store shelf, that item you wanted.

    25:07-25:08

    Remember Black Friday?

    25:10-25:13

    People cut in line, they take the job that you wanted.

    25:14-25:15

    They get the bonus you deserve.

    25:17-25:20

    They take the plum project you needed to get promoted.

    25:22-25:25

    They take away your family and your friends.

    25:26-25:30

    They seek to steal away those you love through slander and lies.

    25:32-25:42

    When you respond to such injustices with patience and self-control, your behavior produces conviction, and it may very well lead to your enemy's salvation.

    25:45-26:14

    We see this in Scripture with Paul, who approved of Stephen's stoning and heard him cry out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." Jesus met Paul on the road to Damascus, Jesus made it clear to him that he wasn't persecuting believers. Paul was persecuting Jesus himself. We need to understand that when people attack us, especially for our faith in Jesus, they are in reality attacking him.

    26:16-26:24

    Whether we are attacked for our faith, We're insulted or others take something from us, our response is to be the same.

    26:25-26:35

    We are to give way for the sake of Christ. We live out the gospel by dying to our pride and our self-interest for the sake of our enemies.

    26:37-26:50

    And we trust that God will make all things right on our behalf. We need to make room for God to redress the wrongs done to us and to not take matters into our own hands.

    26:52-26:56

    Now you may be thinking to yourself, "This is crazy talk.

    26:59-27:02

    This is not what I signed up for when I gave my heart to Jesus.

    27:05-27:10

    This isn't what I agreed to when I made Jesus the Lord of my life." Well you're right.

    27:11-27:31

    You think you have any ability to make the sovereign of the universe Lord of anything and that you can tell him which of his commands apply to you and which ones don't? You will misunderstand the gospel. While you may be listening, you're not hearing what Jesus is saying.

    27:34-27:40

    You may instead be thinking, "Sprunk, you are out of your ever-loving mind if you think I'm ever going to stoop before my enemies.

    27:41-27:44

    That's not the Christianity I signed up for.

    27:45-27:45

    No, no, no, no.

    27:46-27:50

    I believe in a robust, aggressive faith wrapped in patriotism and the flag.

    27:51-27:56

    I want a religion that lets me fight back when my enemies insult me or my god.

    27:56-28:03

    I want a religion that lets me bust my enemies' heads, unleash righteous reprisals on sinners and heretics.

    28:07-28:09

    Plenty of those kinds of religions out there if you want them.

    28:11-28:14

    And unfortunately, the church has a history of that kind of behavior too.

    28:16-28:18

    But such behavior does not represent Jesus.

    28:19-28:22

    And that's not what Jesus is teaching here.

    28:23-28:28

    The one who hung naked and humiliated for you says we are to love our enemies.

    28:29-28:35

    And if I'm going to love my enemies, I must see that reciprocity is not love.

    28:37-28:46

    Let's look at verse 32, where Jesus points out that reciprocity in our relationship with others is a worldly standard.

    28:49-28:53

    He says, "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?

    28:54-28:56

    For even sinners love those who love them.

    28:57-29:01

    And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you?

    29:01-29:03

    Even sinners do the same.

    29:04-29:09

    If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you?

    29:10-29:13

    Even sinners lend to sinners and get back the same amount.

    29:15-29:19

    So much of what we do in our lives is based on reciprocity.

    29:20-29:22

    You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

    29:23-29:28

    You do something good for me, I'll do something good for you, and we'll get along just fine.

    29:30-29:31

    This isn't even love, really.

    29:32-29:34

    It's just transactional living.

    29:35-29:38

    It's just business, so to speak.

    29:39-29:44

    How many of your relationships are purely transactional?

    29:45-29:46

    Just reciprocal?

    29:47-29:48

    Your marriage?

    29:50-29:51

    Your family relationships?

    29:54-29:55

    Your relationships here at Harvest?

    29:58-30:48

    Jesus points out that reciprocity is not the same loving your enemies. As I said reciprocity doesn't even qualify as love because that's the way the world operates. It's what sinners do for other sinners. You do something good to those who have done you a good turn or you only do good because you hope they will do something good for you. Well, you're just like everybody else. And if we're only being kind and generous and forgiving with others who are kind and generous and forgiving with us? We look just like everybody else in the world. There's nothing in our lives or our testimony that makes us distinct from unbelievers. Jesus says there's no credit in reciprocity, no benefit whatsoever.

    30:49-31:09

    He says if you lend to others expecting something in return, what credit is that? Now while we may think of someone loaning money to another expecting repayment the real sense here is we give things away we do things with an expectation of return.

    31:11-31:54

    The real sense here is creating obligations. For example, I did you a favor now you owe me a favor in equal measure. I stuck up for you during that meeting I took your position I advocated for you now you owe me politicians and dealmakers do this all the time but Jesus says if that's how you operate you look just like the sinners who support other sinners as we'll see shortly Jesus calls us to a different and higher standard but before we get to that I'll briefly touch on reciprocity with our enemies Did you think I was talking about enemies?

    31:54-31:56

    No, I was talking how we deal with each other.

    31:56-31:57

    That's how we deal with friends.

    32:00-32:02

    But we engage in reciprocity with our enemies too.

    32:05-32:15

    See, while we engage in favorable reciprocal behavior with those we love and like, when it comes to our enemies, we tend to engage in aggressive or passive reciprocal behaviors.

    32:17-32:19

    When someone wrongs us, as I said, we wanna fight back.

    32:19-32:21

    We wanna respond in kind.

    32:21-32:24

    We want to lash out and justify ourselves.

    32:24-32:26

    We want eye for eye.

    32:26-32:27

    We want tooth for tooth.

    32:28-32:38

    We want to satisfy our pride and be able to say, "I showed him." And when we respond in kind, that person remains our enemy.

    32:39-32:41

    And we've denied the gospel.

    32:42-32:44

    We've closed the door to reconciliation.

    32:47-32:53

    The other tendency is to step away and have no further dealings with people whom we consider to be our enemies.

    32:54-33:05

    Of course, if someone is being physically or emotionally abusive, then yes, there absolutely needs to be physical distance from that person.

    33:08-33:12

    But recall our earlier conversation about the reasons relationships break.

    33:13-33:18

    Lies, pride, mistrust, selfishness, backstabbing, and so forth.

    33:20-33:25

    When someone deals with us in such ways, we typically cut off all contact with that person.

    33:26-33:36

    Rather than being guarded in our future dealings with such people, we think it better to write them off completely. And we typically don't stop there, do we?

    33:38-33:48

    We want everyone to know what they did to us and what we think of them, So others will view my enemies as their enemies.

    33:51-34:37

    I had two aunts, both professing believers in Jesus, who would get into loud and angry fights over petty things, and they would not speak to each other for months at a time, sometimes for a year or more. And they would belittle one another. They would belittle each other to other family members, seeking allies and approvals, and "oh you poor thing, of course you were right" justification. You can well imagine how such antics affected the rest of the family. And guess how many family members came to faith in Jesus Christ because of their example.

    34:40-34:52

    What if Jesus had treated us reciprocally for our sin and rebellion instead of dying for us when we were his enemies? We would still be alone and without God in the world.

    34:53-35:05

    We would be without hope. We would still be passing our days in malice and envy, being hated by others, and hating one another. We would still be subject to God's wrath.

    35:07-35:11

    No, our Savior loved us while we were His enemies.

    35:13-35:20

    And following Jesus' example and command and empowered by the Holy Spirit, we are to intentionally love our enemies.

    35:23-35:30

    If you're treating people the same way unbelievers treat one another, how do you prove you're a genuine Christian?

    35:32-35:36

    Is there enough evidence to convict you of being a disciple of Jesus?

    35:37-35:45

    of being a slave of Jesus Christ, would someone point to you and say, there goes another hypocritical Christian?

    35:46-35:54

    Or would they say, she doesn't act like anything like my image of a stereotypical Christian.

    35:55-35:58

    There is something really different about her.

    36:00-36:02

    Well, let's turn next to what that difference must be.

    36:04-36:09

    to love my enemies, I must intentionally love them the way God does.

    36:12-36:14

    Jesus returns to where he began at verse 35.

    36:16-36:21

    But love your enemies and do good and lend expecting nothing in return.

    36:22-36:23

    And your reward will be great.

    36:24-36:31

    And you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

    36:32-36:35

    Be merciful, even as your father is merciful.

    36:37-36:39

    Jesus calls us to a much, much higher standard.

    36:40-36:44

    There is so much in these two verses that we don't want to do.

    36:45-36:47

    You may have noticed I skipped a verse.

    36:48-36:54

    I purposely saved it for now because it helpfully frames what Jesus commands in verses 35 and 36.

    36:56-36:57

    Look back to verse 31.

    36:58-37:02

    "As you wish what others would do to you, Do so for them.

    37:04-37:06

    This sums up how we are to love our enemies.

    37:07-37:09

    You probably know this is the golden rule.

    37:10-37:15

    It's an idea expressed in other cultures and religions around the world from ancient times.

    37:16-37:24

    But it was typically stated in the negative as, don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you.

    37:25-37:29

    There's a difference between do to others and don't do to others.

    37:29-37:42

    "To do to others you must act, "but don't do requires no effort at all, "and no engagement with people whatsoever." How do we share the gospel if we don't engage with people?

    37:43-37:55

    If we only engage with people who have already heard the gospel, with people we like, we aren't loving our enemies.

    37:58-38:13

    Paul said he made it his ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, but as it is written, those who've never been told of him will see, and those who have never heard will understand.

    38:14-38:21

    Remember, unbelievers are living as enemies of God, no matter how moral and upright they may seem.

    38:24-38:30

    Just as the Father sent Jesus, He sent His disciples, He sent Paul, He sends us.

    38:32-38:35

    We're glad someone shared the gospel with us, are we not?

    38:37-38:41

    And they did so because they obeyed Jesus' command to do to others.

    38:42-38:43

    That was love.

    38:44-38:49

    Whereas the negative form, don't do to others, puts us right back at reciprocal living.

    38:50-38:51

    It's not love.

    38:53-38:57

    Have you been practicing a don't do to others version of Christianity?

    38:59-39:01

    You know who lived like this?

    39:02-39:02

    The Pharisees.

    39:03-39:08

    They acted like they were on the moral high ground, but they hated everyone who wasn't like them.

    39:09-39:13

    Jesus said to them, "But woe, you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

    39:14-39:16

    For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people's faces.

    39:17-39:24

    For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in." Would Jesus say that of us?

    39:25-39:33

    Would he say, "Instead of loving your enemies like I told you to, you treated them hatefully and shut the kingdom of heaven in their faces.

    39:34-40:21

    Your behavior caused them to despise me and the gospel, because you behaved hypocritically." We must understand that Jesus' command to love our enemies obliterates living as we know it. We cannot continue to live the way we have been. You and I must intentionally love others, including our enemies. We are to affirmatively do to others what you would have them do to you, without being asked, without expectation of return. Indeed, you should not expect any kind of return from others. Now Jesus gives us some very practical ways to love our enemies by doing what we wish they would do for us. Look back at verses 27, 28, and 35.

    40:23-40:31

    First he says, "Do good to those who hate you." Are you treating people with respect? Do you honor everyone?

    40:33-40:37

    As Peter says we are to do in 1st Peter 2 .17.

    40:39-40:45

    Are your interactions with unbelievers characterized by civility and kindness?

    40:47-40:50

    Is there some good deed you could do for an enemy?

    40:50-40:56

    Some yard work, a meal perhaps, contribute financially if he or she has need.

    40:58-41:05

    And Jesus says, "Bless those who curse you." Do you respond to curses with curses?

    41:06-41:07

    Or can you let it go?

    41:07-41:24

    Are you responding in kind to hateful angry comments online or are you giving a soft answer that turns away wrath? Are you able to resist answering a fool according to his folly so that you don't become like him or her or yourself?

    41:26-41:32

    Jesus says pray for those who abuse you. When was the last time you prayed for an enemy?

    41:34-41:41

    This is both the easiest and hardest thing to do, and I confess I have seldom prayed for my enemies.

    41:43-41:44

    But we can pray.

    41:44-41:55

    We can pray for repentance that leads to salvation, for reconciliation, and for guidance from the Lord how we might change the relationship.

    41:57-42:01

    Then Jesus says, "Lend, give stuff away, it's only stuff.

    42:02-42:07

    You can't keep it, your kids don't want it, and ultimately it's all going to burn.

    42:08-42:13

    But Jesus says you can make friends for yourself by means of unrighteous wealth.

    42:14-42:17

    Through generosity, you can make friends out of enemies.

    42:18-42:22

    And through that open door lies the opportunity to share the gospel.

    42:24-42:27

    Finally, Jesus says be merciful and extend forgiveness.

    42:28-42:28

    Why?

    42:29-42:33

    Why, because your heavenly Father is merciful forgiven you.

    42:35-42:38

    Do you want others to grant you mercy and forgiveness?

    42:40-42:41

    Of course you do.

    42:42-42:45

    Forgive, even if your enemy hasn't asked for forgiveness.

    42:47-42:55

    Why? Because it will set you free from bitterness. I have some personal experience with this.

    42:57-43:04

    And if you've wronged someone and made them your enemy, seek forgiveness if it's possible to do so.

    43:06-43:11

    Jesus says we should expect nothing in return, but also why we are to do these things.

    43:13-43:21

    Because our reward will be great and we will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

    43:24-43:45

    It should convict and astonish us that God has been merciful and kind to the evilest people who have ever walked the earth. He gave them breath and food and covering, senses to experience creation, and yet they spurned his great provision and did evil horrible things.

    43:48-43:52

    We may get nothing from our enemies in response to loving them.

    43:52-43:59

    They may remain ungrateful and evil, but we will have a reward from our Heavenly Father.

    44:00-44:05

    And we will be sons of the Most High. Yes, ladies, you too.

    44:06-44:13

    This is the greatest position anyone can have. Greater than president, greater than CEO.

    44:15-44:28

    To be a son of God is to be esteemed by Him, to be embraced in His love and protection, and to enjoy all the temporary and eternal benefits bestowed by your heavenly Father.

    44:30-44:34

    As the worship team returns to the stage, we're going to conclude where we began.

    44:36-44:59

    We must love our enemies, because living out the gospel is more important than our pride, our reputation, and our drive for self-preservation. And remember, Jesus doesn't say, "Love Or, "Love your enemies, except when..." No, there's no exceptions to the command.

    45:02-45:11

    When we intentionally love our enemies, we show that our salvation is not about us, but about Jesus' love for his enemies.

    45:13-45:19

    In a sense, our salvation isn't even really for us, but rather for others.

    45:20-45:23

    Certainly, we enjoy all the benefits of salvation, do we not?

    45:24-46:09

    The love of our Abba Father, reconciliation with Him, adoption, joy, peace, rest, eternal life, and many more things. But if we just turn inward with our salvation and only love and do good to those who love us and are like us, we're missing the Great Commission and the point of salvation. We are saved to proclaim the gospel to the world, to our families, our friends, and to our enemies. Just as Jesus' love for us when we were his enemies led to his suffering and humiliation for our salvation, intentionally loving our enemies proclaims the gospel.

    46:10-46:16

    It may lead to our suffering and humiliation, but it may also lead to our enemy's salvation.

    46:18-46:24

    Hating our enemies does not lead to salvation, nor does reciprocal living.

    46:25-46:33

    Only intentional love, selfless, sacrificial, humble to the point of humiliation can do that.

    46:35-46:41

    That is how Jesus loves us. Now we must go and do likewise. Let's pray.

    46:44-47:02

    Almighty, loving God and Father, we praise you and I pray, Father, you transform our hearts, transform our minds, transform our actions by your holy word.

    47:04-47:13

    Move us, use us to love one another, to love our enemies, just as you do.

    47:15-47:18

    We ask in your great name, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Luke 6:27-36

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. What are obstacles we face in loving our enemies?

  3. Think of a time you were humiliated by someone – how were you wounded (physically, mentally, emotionally, or in your concept of self)? How is it different if we are humiliated for Christ (i.e., is there a greater purpose for our suffering)?

  4. What are some ways you live reciprocally with others? What changes will you need to make to move beyond reciprocal living?

  5. What can we do to love our enemies?

  6. BONUS QUESTION: What is the reward for loving our enemies? Is that reward valuable to you?

Breakout
Pray for one another.

How to Love Difficult People: How to Love People I Disagree With

Introduction:

How Do I Love Christians That I Disagree With? (Romans 14:1-12):

  1. I must continually Humble Myself . (Romans 14:1-4)

    1. By embracing those who are Different Than Me . (Romans 14:1a)
    2. By avoiding arguments about Non-Essentials . (Romans 14:1b)

      2 Timothy 2:14 - Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.

    3. By refusing to give myself over to Hatred . (Romans 14:2-3)
    4. By remembering that I am not the Master of Anyone . (Romans 14:4)
  2. I must not hold them to My Personal Convictions . (Romans 14:5-9)

    Colossians 2:16 - Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath.

  3. I must entrust them to God and Focus on My Own Walk . (Romans 14:10-12)

    John 21:22 - Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!"

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Intentional Love: How to Love Difficult People: How to Love People I Disagree With
Taylor Brown
  • 01:15-01:27

    Alright, you can turn your Bibles to Romans chapter 14 Romans chapter 14 as you turn there I just want to get one thing out of the way But many of you may be thinking about what is going on with your leg, right?

    01:28-02:15

    And some of you already know but I guess I'll tell you the story even though I've told it I don't know how many times at this point But I wish I could say it was something cool like I pushed an old lady out of the way from getting hit by a truck and the truck ran over my foot or I fended off an intruder with my kickboxing skills, but that is not what happened Stilts were brought into the office last week and I tried to get on the stilts and the first attempt great went really well Second attempt. Well, you can see didn't go so well. I actually fractured my fifth metatarsal in my left foot So I'll be in this boot for a little bit and I used to pride myself on not having broken a bone in my entire Life and the Bible says pride goes before a fall. I just never thought that fall would be from stilts So anyway, I hope I'm not too distracting.

    02:15-02:20

    I maybe won't move as much as I usually do, but hopefully you won't laugh at me too much whenever I do.

    02:20-02:22

    All right, let's get to the task at hand.

    02:23-02:29

    You know, I was thinking this past week that disagreements are an unavoidable fact of life, especially in the church.

    02:31-02:39

    There is a long list of things that we should all agree on if you are a member at Harvest or a believer in this room.

    02:40-02:41

    God created everything out of nothing.

    02:42-02:46

    Every single person in this world is sinful and in need of forgiveness.

    02:46-02:48

    Jesus Christ is the one and only Savior.

    02:49-02:51

    The Bible is the inspired word of God.

    02:52-02:57

    And I could go on and on and on with things we must agree on.

    02:58-03:03

    But there's an even longer list of things that we do not agree on.

    03:04-03:08

    And this list ranges from important to very unimportant.

    03:09-03:14

    And if you don't believe me, I'm going to conduct a quick poll to prove it to you.

    03:15-03:26

    I'm going to bring some hot button issues that rage online, and I'm gonna ask you to participate by raising your hand to show which side of the debate you agree on.

    03:27-03:29

    And to be clear, you have to participate.

    03:30-03:34

    You can't ride the fence, otherwise you're gonna totally ruin the point I'm trying to make.

    03:34-03:35

    You don't wanna do that, do you?

    03:36-03:36

    All right, good.

    03:37-03:44

    All right, first up, What is the best way to eat leftover pizza, cold or reheated?

    03:45-03:50

    I told you we'd really touch on the major issues that we face in 2024.

    03:51-03:54

    Who believes that right out of the fridge, cold is the best way to eat leftover pizza?

    03:55-03:55

    All right.

    03:56-03:57

    Who says reheated?

    03:58-04:00

    Oh, I don't understand you people at all.

    04:00-04:01

    Oh man.

    04:03-04:05

    I already know Pastor Jeff's answer to this next question.

    04:05-04:06

    Which do you prefer?

    04:07-04:09

    Pencils or pens?

    04:10-04:12

    Who's a Pastor Jeff and says pencils?

    04:13-04:13

    Oh, Jeff.

    04:15-04:17

    That's not looking too good.

    04:21-04:22

    You can't change your answer in the middle of it.

    04:23-04:24

    Who says pens?

    04:25-04:28

    All right, the vast majority, I'm sorry about that, Jeff.

    04:29-04:30

    Jeff thinks very different.

    04:30-04:31

    Jeff, it's okay to disagree.

    04:31-04:33

    That's the whole point of this sermon we're about to do.

    04:36-04:37

    All right, how about this next one?

    04:37-04:39

    should you make your bed every morning?

    04:40-04:41

    Who makes their bed every morning?

    04:43-04:45

    Who left that chore behind when they became adults?

    04:46-04:47

    I'm with all of you freedom fighters.

    04:48-04:50

    What is the point of making my bed?

    04:50-04:51

    No one sees it besides my wife and I.

    04:52-04:52

    I just don't get it.

    04:54-04:59

    This next one is very timely for the temperature issues that we experience in this building.

    05:00-05:03

    Very often, we've experienced both sides of the spectrum.

    05:04-05:07

    What's better, to be too hot or to be too cold?

    05:08-05:09

    Who says too hot?

    05:09-05:10

    You'd rather just sweat it out.

    05:13-05:16

    Who says I'd rather be too cold and put layers on?

    05:17-05:20

    All right, well, you'll experience both at Harvest Bible Chapel.

    05:21-05:21

    (congregation laughing)

    05:23-05:27

    And this next one really is gonna show us who's who in this church.

    05:28-05:32

    Which is better, cats or dogs?

    05:33-05:35

    Who's brave enough to say cats?

    05:38-05:39

    Not many courageous people here today.

    05:40-05:43

    Who's gonna say the obvious answer and say dogs?

    05:43-05:45

    All right, good to know.

    05:46-05:52

    Well, has it become clear that we hold different opinions and disagree on a whole host of issues?

    05:53-05:57

    Now, obviously these are trivial issues that we can argue about with smiles on our faces.

    05:58-06:06

    Unity isn't in danger of being broken at harvest over food tastes, temperature preferences, household chores, or preferred pets.

    06:07-06:14

    But our unity will be tested when it comes to disagreements that are a bit more serious and hit closer to home.

    06:15-06:18

    What about educational opinions?

    06:18-06:25

    Is there a moral obligation to homeschool your kids rather than send them to public or private school?

    06:26-06:31

    Should Christians steer clear of any secular entertainment, all social media at all costs.

    06:33-06:35

    Alcohol is a big issue that divides Christians.

    06:36-06:40

    Are Christians free to drink or is it even wrong to drink in moderation?

    06:42-06:43

    Here's a big one, politics.

    06:45-06:48

    That word is even heavier after yesterday, isn't it?

    06:50-07:00

    Are believers biblically mandated to vote and be as involved as possible in the political realm or is there freedom not to be highly engaged on that front.

    07:01-07:06

    Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask you to raise your hand and conduct a poll with these questions 'cause that would be awkward.

    07:07-07:09

    These things are uncomfortable to talk about, right?

    07:11-07:18

    We often do not consider the impact that these kinds of issues can have upon our view of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

    07:19-07:27

    Without even realizing it, we can allow these differences to stir up anger, pride, and even bitterness in our own hearts.

    07:28-07:33

    These kinds of disagreements can make love very challenging and very messy at times.

    07:34-07:39

    It's really hard to love someone that I think is wrong about something.

    07:40-07:47

    It's even harder to love someone who thinks that I am wrong about something, because I tend to assume that I'm always right.

    07:49-07:56

    It is way easier to retreat and separate in our own cliques than it is to come together and unite as the body of Christ.

    07:58-08:03

    We're in the second week of our latest series, Intentional Love, How to Love Difficult People.

    08:04-08:18

    Dan Thompson kicked off this sermon series last week with a message on loving our neighbor, which includes anyone and everyone that we come into contact with on a daily basis, even those people who frustrate and annoy us.

    08:19-08:28

    This morning, we're gonna narrow our focus by studying Romans chapter 14, verses one through 12, where Paul answers this vitally important question.

    08:29-08:32

    How do I love Christians that I disagree with?

    08:33-08:37

    How do I love Christians that I disagree with?

    08:38-08:48

    So before we dive into Paul's answer, I'm gonna pray for you, that you'll be faithful and submitting to God's word, and I ask that you pray for me, that I'll be faithful in preaching God's word.

    08:48-08:49

    Go to the Lord.

    08:52-08:56

    Father, this passage we're about to study is very challenging and very convicting.

    08:58-09:04

    I pray that you would do a great work this morning, that this passage would bring us together and unite us rather than push us apart.

    09:06-09:11

    I thank you that your Holy Spirit is at work and he will preach a much better sermon than I ever could.

    09:12-09:14

    I pray that he would do the work that only he can.

    09:15-09:17

    In Jesus' name, amen.

    09:19-09:22

    So our question for this morning, how do I love Christians that I disagree with?

    09:23-09:27

    First on your outline, I must continually humble myself.

    09:29-09:32

    I must continually humble myself.

    09:34-09:39

    The key to experiencing loving fellowship at Harvest Bible Chapel is mutual humility.

    09:40-09:44

    I have to humble myself and you have to humble yourself.

    09:45-09:46

    It is the only way.

    09:47-09:53

    This means that your ultimate goal cannot be to put yourself first and have your preferences met.

    09:53-09:58

    Your supreme desire has to be honoring the Lord and blessing other people.

    09:59-10:07

    On the priority list of your life, God is to come first, others finish second, and you finish dead last.

    10:08-10:10

    It shouldn't even be a contest for the Christian.

    10:11-10:17

    And we have to go against the grain to reverse the order that we naturally gravitate to, right?

    10:18-10:23

    which is me at the front, others far behind, and God at the very back.

    10:25-10:29

    And at this point you may be thinking, okay, Taylor, I get it, I have to humble myself.

    10:29-10:31

    What does that even look like?

    10:31-10:33

    What does it mean to humble myself?

    10:34-10:48

    Well, I'm so glad you asked because in verses one through four of chapter 14, Paul lays out four specific actions of humility that will promote love and calm the raging storms of disagreement that will flare up in the church.

    10:49-10:59

    So I must continually humble myself, letter A, by embracing those who are different than me, by embracing those who are different than me.

    11:01-11:05

    Let's read the very first part of verse one of chapter 14.

    11:06-11:14

    Paul writes, "As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him." What is Paul talking about here?

    11:14-11:15

    Who is the weak in faith?

    11:16-11:19

    He's not talking about someone who doesn't have faith in Christ.

    11:19-11:27

    He's talking about someone who has faith in Christ, but has a weak grasp of how that faith should play out in their daily lives.

    11:28-11:36

    This refers to someone who is brand new to the Christian faith, and they're unsure of how they can use their newfound freedom in Jesus.

    11:37-11:46

    They are sincere, they're passionate, but they don't possess the wisdom that comes from years and years of walking with Christ.

    11:47-11:54

    As we'll see in a few verses, Paul is specifically zeroing in on two groups of people who were weak in faith back in his day.

    11:55-12:02

    First up, Jewish believers who were wrestling with letting go of all the rituals and ceremonies of the old covenant.

    12:03-12:10

    You know, Christ completely fulfilled the ceremonial law of the Old Testament through his death on the cross and through his perfect life.

    12:10-12:13

    So believers are not expected to keep it any longer.

    12:15-12:21

    Those sacrifices, those festivals were simply a foreshadowing of all that Christ would accomplish.

    12:23-12:31

    But those regulations, those rituals were burned into these Jewish believers' brains and it would take time to let these things go.

    12:34-12:38

    Pastor Jeff preached a bit about the second group that Paul was referring to a few weeks ago.

    12:39-12:49

    Gentile Christians who came out of a pagan background and refused to eat meat because they were afraid that maybe this meat was sacrificed to a false God at some point.

    12:51-13:01

    They were worried that this would be dishonoring to the Lord, even though the New Testament is so clear that Christians don't need to concern themselves with the history of their food.

    13:02-13:05

    But this is a big hurdle for many of these Gentiles to jump over.

    13:07-13:12

    As you notice in verse one, Paul doesn't say to rebuke the weak in faith.

    13:13-13:19

    He doesn't tell the strong in faith to grab the weak in faith by the shoulders and shake them to snap out of it and tell them to cut it out.

    13:19-13:20

    What does he say instead?

    13:21-13:22

    What does he say to do?

    13:24-13:25

    To welcome him.

    13:27-13:33

    In other words, be patient with those who are newer in their faith as God has been patient with you.

    13:34-13:38

    Extend to them the same grace that has been shown to you.

    13:39-13:50

    And Paul's command to welcome the weak in faith is an important word for how we should treat anyone and everyone in the body of Christ, even those we disagree with.

    13:52-13:55

    This welcoming isn't a base level tolerance.

    13:56-14:02

    It isn't a posture of keeping people at an arm's length, but drawing them in for a loving embrace.

    14:02-14:08

    It isn't plastering on a fake smile when they're around and then rolling your eyes at them whenever they walk away.

    14:09-14:17

    You find these people a place in your heart and on your prayer list because you know that they're your brothers and sisters in Christ.

    14:19-14:33

    You know, you are by no means obligated to be best friends with every single person at Harvest Bible Chapel, but you are biblically commanded to love every single believer as one of your own family members because they are.

    14:34-14:34

    (audience laughing)

    14:35-14:38

    I'm gonna share something with you that I'm not very proud of.

    14:39-14:47

    Sometimes I'll be out and about at the grocery store, Lowe's, Chick-fil-A, and my eyes will come across an acquaintance.

    14:48-14:51

    Maybe it's a family friend, someone I went to high school with, whatever.

    14:52-14:54

    I'll think to myself, oh yeah, that's so-and-so.

    14:55-14:59

    Ah, I don't really feel like talking to them right now.

    14:59-15:02

    I'll have to catch them up on my life and I'll have to hear about their life.

    15:02-15:03

    I just don't have time for that right now.

    15:04-15:04

    Okay, good.

    15:04-15:05

    They haven't noticed me.

    15:05-15:08

    I'm just going to sneak away in the opposite direction before they notice me.

    15:09-15:14

    I then ninja away in the opposite direction to enjoy my solitude, which was much easier before I had this boot on.

    15:15-15:17

    This hasn't happened yet with the boot on, so we'll see how that goes.

    15:18-15:19

    But who else has done this?

    15:22-15:22

    (congregation laughing)

    15:24-15:25

    All right, I'm going to give you one more chance.

    15:25-15:26

    I'm in a good mood this morning.

    15:26-15:28

    Who else has done this?

    15:28-15:34

    If your hand's not in the air right now, I guess I'll believe you, but I have a really hard time believing you.

    15:36-15:44

    On a much more serious note, are there any Christians here at Harvest that you actively avoid because they're difficult to love?

    15:47-15:54

    Are there people that you blatantly ignore due to a difference of opinion or disagreement of some kind?

    15:55-16:01

    Maybe you steer clear of them when you see them coming, or you jump into their conversation to escape them.

    16:02-16:05

    Maybe you sit on a totally different side of the auditorium from them.

    16:06-16:12

    Maybe you specifically didn't join a specific small group because you knew that person would be in it.

    16:13-16:19

    Maybe you intentionally leave them out of fun fellowships and hangouts, even though you know this person would love to be a part of these times.

    16:21-16:24

    Let me ask you a question with a very obvious answer.

    16:24-16:25

    Is that welcoming?

    16:26-16:27

    Is that loving?

    16:27-16:32

    That is extremely unwelcoming and unloving.

    16:32-16:36

    That is the way of the world, not the way of Christ.

    16:37-16:43

    In the church, we have to deal with our issues like mature grownups and not mopey children.

    16:44-16:51

    If we cannot love each other at Harvest Bible Chapel, what chance do we have of loving people outside these walls?

    16:52-17:01

    If we can't accept fellow Christians that we have minor disagreements with, How can we possibly welcome unbelievers to faith in Christ and to join our fellowship?

    17:02-17:10

    If we can't get this right, we may as well pack it in and go home because our fellowship is meaningless and phony.

    17:13-17:18

    I must continually humble myself, let her be, by avoiding arguments about non-essentials.

    17:20-17:22

    By avoiding arguments about non-essentials.

    17:24-17:25

    (pages rustling)

    17:27-17:41

    In verse one, after giving the positive command to welcome the weak in faith, Paul gives the negative command to not quarrel over opinions and your copy of God's word may translate opinions as doubtful things or disputable matters.

    17:42-17:47

    You know, Paul isn't saying that we should never argue, that we should never stand up for what we believe in.

    17:48-18:02

    He teaches all throughout his letters that true Christians should fight for the purity of the gospel, correct false teaching, lovingly call out sin in the church, hold each other accountable, and stand firm on what God clearly teaches.

    18:03-18:11

    On the other hand, Paul is saying that we should not get into verbal wrestling matches over things the Bible is not as clear about.

    18:13-18:21

    Can we agree that Christians are great at majoring in the minors, and making a big deal of things that the Bible does not even focus upon.

    18:23-18:27

    Paul gives a very similar command in 2 Timothy 2.14.

    18:28-18:47

    He writes, "Remind them of these things and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers." There is a kind of arguing that is not only unhelpful, that is not only unproductive, but is actively destructive and deadly.

    18:48-18:55

    An argumentative attitude is contagious, it spreads very easily, and it ruins lives.

    18:57-19:02

    I've seen Christian friendships broken over the stupidest disagreements over secondary matters of theology.

    19:04-19:07

    Churches across this country have split over the dumbest reasons.

    19:08-19:11

    Like we couldn't agree on what color the carpet should be in the sanctuary.

    19:12-19:12

    Who cares?

    19:14-19:17

    We couldn't agree what the bulletin board should be used for in the lobby.

    19:18-19:19

    (congregation laughing)

    19:20-19:22

    We couldn't agree on what to call the coffee ministry.

    19:23-19:25

    These aren't even made up examples.

    19:25-19:27

    These are actual things that happened.

    19:28-19:33

    Let me ask you, how did those churches get to the point of broken unity?

    19:34-19:52

    This pot didn't just start immediately boiling, but it started over time steadily as the leadership and the members kept dialing up the temperature with useless argument after stupid debate until one day, the scalding water poured out on everybody in the congregation.

    19:54-19:57

    Listen to me, the church is not a debate club.

    19:57-19:58

    The church is not a courtroom.

    19:58-20:01

    It is not a Facebook comment section.

    20:01-20:07

    This is not the place to air all of your grievances, bash one another and pick each other's opinions apart.

    20:09-20:12

    Let me ask you, what is the better use of our time?

    20:12-20:22

    Debating one another about things that don't really matter or working together to fulfill our God-given mission of making disciples, which supremely matters.

    20:23-20:25

    Why are you even here?

    20:26-20:28

    Are you here to get your way?

    20:29-20:30

    Are you here to win arguments?

    20:32-20:38

    Are you here to follow the ways of God, build up the church and win lost souls for Christ?

    20:40-20:46

    I must continually humble myself, let her see, by refusing to give myself over to hatred.

    20:48-20:51

    By refusing to give myself over to hatred.

    20:52-20:55

    Let's continue on with verses two through three.

    20:56-21:01

    Paul writes, "One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.

    21:01-21:24

    Let the one who eats not despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him." So Paul brings into focus the issue that I mentioned earlier, some Jewish and Gentile Christians refusing to eat meat out of fear that they might break the Old Testament law or commit idolatry.

    21:25-21:33

    They chose to eat only vegetables while other believers in the same congregation felt the freedom to eat whatever was put before them.

    21:34-21:36

    And Paul speaks to both sides of the issue.

    21:36-21:40

    He says, "Hey, don't let this be an opportunity "for division.

    21:40-21:43

    It will only become an issue if you make it one.

    21:43-21:47

    Remember, God has welcomed both of you into his family.

    21:48-21:50

    You are on the same team.

    21:52-22:00

    And Paul uses very harsh language to describe how damaging it is to look down on fellow believers who hold different opinions than you.

    22:01-22:06

    He says you are not to despise one another or pass judgment.

    22:07-22:12

    When you examine the original Greek, It really ratchets up how serious Paul is taking this.

    22:13-22:16

    Whenever he says despise, this communicates utter hatred.

    22:17-22:19

    You are viewing someone as a total non-entity.

    22:20-22:23

    You are superior and they are inferior.

    22:23-22:26

    They are next to nothing in your estimation.

    22:27-22:29

    Past judgment has a legal meaning.

    22:29-22:34

    It refers to charging someone guilty of a serious crime.

    22:35-22:39

    You are turning a matter of opinion into an unforgivable offense.

    22:40-22:45

    You are treating their personal preference as a personal attack against you.

    22:46-22:52

    If left unchecked, these judgmental and prideful feelings will turn into hatred.

    22:55-22:57

    I know what some of you may be thinking at this point.

    22:57-22:58

    Come on, Taylor.

    22:58-23:00

    I think you're taking this a step too far.

    23:00-23:02

    I certainly don't hate anybody here at Harvest.

    23:02-23:05

    There's no believers in my life that I hate.

    23:05-23:10

    I mean, sure, there are some people I extremely dislike and I avoid them at all costs.

    23:10-23:11

    They stay away from them.

    23:11-23:12

    That's not a big deal.

    23:13-23:14

    Huh.

    23:15-23:18

    That sounds like a nice way of saying you hate certain people, doesn't it?

    23:19-23:26

    We can be so polite with our hatred in the church and dress it up to make it look respectable when it is anything but.

    23:27-23:43

    I encourage every single one of you to examine your hearts this morning, to check for those roots of bitterness, to check for the rotten fruit of hatred, because if you don't, you will cause a lot of serious damage not just in your own life, but the lives of so many sitting here.

    23:45-23:54

    "I must continually humble myself," letter D, "by remembering that I am not the master of anyone." I'm not the master of anyone.

    23:59-24:02

    Paul comes in hot and asks a strong question in verse four.

    24:02-24:09

    "Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another?" In other words, who do you think you are?

    24:09-24:11

    What gives you the right?

    24:11-24:12

    How dare you?

    24:14-24:19

    Paul is saying we're not qualified on any level to condemn other believers.

    24:20-24:21

    That is not in our job description.

    24:21-24:23

    That is not in our wheelhouse.

    24:25-24:28

    He goes on to explain why in the second half of verse four.

    24:28-24:34

    It is before his own master that he stands or falls, and he will be upheld for the Lord is able to make him stand.

    24:35-24:41

    Paul is saying, hey, you're not anyone's master in the church, that's God's job, not yours.

    24:42-24:47

    You don't have the authority to reject a person who God himself has accepted.

    24:48-24:55

    You are completely unable to condemn someone whose sin has been forgiven by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

    24:57-25:08

    You know, passing this kind of judgment on other believers as ridiculous as going to someone's place of work and trying to give them a yearly review or evaluation.

    25:08-25:09

    I mean, just imagine it.

    25:10-25:16

    Imagine I come to your place of work this week and I give you my unfiltered thoughts about how you're doing on the job.

    25:17-25:20

    Would that affect your standing in the company one bit?

    25:21-25:24

    Not at all, because you do not work for me.

    25:25-25:31

    The approval of your boss matters way more than the approval of someone you do not even work for.

    25:33-25:39

    In a much greater way, God's approval of you matters infinitely more than the approval of mere human beings.

    25:40-25:45

    In fact, if God approves of you, it doesn't really matter who disapproves of you.

    25:46-25:53

    My opinion of you does not affect your standing before God, and your opinion of me does not affect my standing before God either.

    25:55-25:59

    God is not a fickle teenager whose opinions are swayed by the judgments of another.

    26:00-26:05

    God's up in heaven thinking, ah, you know what, I really loved Taylor until I found out he's wrong in all these different ways.

    26:06-26:08

    I'm not really sure how I feel about him anymore.

    26:09-26:11

    In fact, God has no opinions.

    26:12-26:16

    He simply declares what is true and commands what is right.

    26:16-26:25

    And if he declares someone holy and righteous in his sight, then nothing and no one can possibly change that firm and fixed reality.

    26:27-26:31

    We have to get a grip on who we actually are and who we definitely are not.

    26:32-26:35

    We are not God, we are not the boss, we are not in charge.

    26:36-26:39

    We are simply fellow slaves of Jesus Christ.

    26:40-26:43

    So let us choose to humble ourselves before the Lord and one another.

    26:46-26:48

    So how do I love Christians that I disagree with?

    26:49-26:52

    Secondly, on your outline, I must not hold them to my personal convictions.

    26:54-26:57

    I must not hold them to my personal convictions.

    26:59-27:08

    In verse five, Paul goes on to give another case study and personal preference that made love very difficult 2000 years ago and still does so today.

    27:08-27:09

    Let's read verse five.

    27:10-27:15

    One person esteems one day is better than another, while another esteems all days alike.

    27:15-27:19

    Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.

    27:20-27:26

    You know, keeping the Sabbath was and still is a big deal for many Jews because it was one of the 10 commandments.

    27:28-27:34

    But it's the only one of the 10 commandments that is not reissued and reinforced from the mouth of Jesus or in the New Testament.

    27:35-27:36

    Now, why is that?

    27:37-27:44

    Because similar to the ceremonial law that we discussed a few moments ago, Jesus is the one the Sabbath pointed to.

    27:45-27:47

    The Sabbath is all about rest.

    27:47-27:59

    And through his death on the cross and his resurrection from the grave, Jesus is the present and eternal rest for every single person who places their faith and trust in him alone for salvation.

    28:01-28:03

    But Christians still debate about the Sabbath.

    28:03-28:05

    They still disagree.

    28:05-28:19

    On one side of the issue, people will say, "I'm convicted to keep the Sabbath "and not work at all on Sundays or do any chores." On the other side of the issue, people will say, "You know, I'm gonna go to church on Sunday and worship.

    28:19-28:22

    "I am free to do chores around the house.

    28:22-28:27

    "I'm free to work if I have to." Well, which option is right according to Paul?

    28:29-28:32

    Neither, neither or both are acceptable.

    28:32-28:45

    He says, "Each one should be fully convinced "in his own mind." In other words, come to your own conviction about this issue and stick to it, but don't belittle others who come to a different conviction than you.

    28:47-28:59

    And Paul reinforces this command in Colossians 2.16, "Therefore, let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath.

    28:59-29:14

    These are the shadow of things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ." And Paul's teaching in these passages extends far beyond the Sabbath and touches other matters of opinion as well.

    29:15-29:23

    You know, to attend the seminary that I graduated from several years ago, I had to sign a document that I would not drink a drop of alcohol during my time as a student.

    29:24-29:28

    Even if I was off campus, even if I was an online student in a totally different state.

    29:29-29:32

    I remember receiving this document and being, I shouldn't be bothered by it.

    29:32-29:37

    Now to be clear, I was not bothered because I wanted to go to parties and get drunk.

    29:38-29:40

    Everyone nod your head if you understand, that's not what I'm saying.

    29:41-29:42

    Okay, good, I feel a lot better now.

    29:43-29:55

    I was bothered because I believe that my seminary was binding the conscience of those who believe that drinking is acceptable and mandating a moral command that is not in scripture.

    29:57-30:04

    In my opinion, that part of the contract was legalistic and in sharp opposition to what Paul is talking about in this passage.

    30:06-30:12

    Again, to be clear, I am not having this sermon become a beer commercial where I say we should all get on board with alcohol.

    30:13-30:20

    Maybe you've wrestled with addiction in the past, or you've seen alcoholism destroy people that you care about.

    30:21-30:26

    Maybe you're convicted that the wisest choice is to steer clear of alcohol because it's not worth the risk.

    30:27-30:33

    Maybe you're convicted that you should abstain from alcohol for health reasons or for the sake of your witness.

    30:34-30:34

    That's great.

    30:35-30:48

    That is a great personal conviction, but it is not a good thing to push that personal conviction on other believers and hold them to a standard that is not spelled out in the word of God.

    30:49-30:56

    The Bible is so clear that getting drunk is a sin, that causing other people to stumble with your drinking is a sin.

    30:57-31:01

    The Bible doesn't say that drinking in of itself is inherently sinful.

    31:02-31:09

    So it is unbiblical and unloving to say that you cannot be a strong Christian and drink alcohol at the same time.

    31:10-31:16

    On the flip side, it is not loving to make fun of Christians who don't drink and act like they're boring prudes.

    31:17-31:19

    Drinking is not essential for a fun and full life.

    31:20-31:27

    And if you think otherwise, I encourage you to do some self-reflection because you may have a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

    31:28-31:31

    Let's move on from alcohol and talk about some other examples.

    31:32-31:38

    Maybe you're convicted that you should never watch any movie that is above PG-13 under any circumstances.

    31:39-31:47

    Great personal conviction, but it's not great to say that you cannot be a Christian and watch any R-rated movies.

    31:48-31:49

    Here's another one.

    31:51-31:55

    Maybe you're convinced that homeschooling your kids is the best option for education.

    31:56-31:58

    That is an amazing decision that I fully support.

    31:59-32:01

    Do you know what I don't fully support?

    32:01-32:07

    Is looking down on other Christian parents who don't have the interest or bandwidth to do the same.

    32:08-32:12

    Maybe you're convicted that you should wear your Sunday best to worship.

    32:13-32:15

    Again, great decision, I fully support that.

    32:17-32:20

    But I do not support looking down on fellow believers who don't feel the same.

    32:21-32:24

    Looking down on others who wear jeans or shorts to church.

    32:25-32:32

    What you wear on the outside on Sunday does not actually communicate fully what's happening on the inside.

    32:33-32:36

    You can be dressed to the nines and not have the right attitude.

    32:37-32:41

    You can be dressed like you're about to go to the beach and fully worship the Lord.

    32:43-32:47

    I can go on and on with other examples, but I think you get the point.

    32:48-32:54

    In verses six through nine, Paul gets to the heart of the matter, which is the matter of the heart.

    32:55-32:58

    He writes, "The one who observes the day "observes it in honor of the Lord.

    32:58-33:06

    "The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, "because he gives thanks to God, "while the one who abstains, "abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God.

    33:07-33:10

    For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself.

    33:11-33:14

    For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord.

    33:15-33:19

    So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's.

    33:19-33:25

    For to this end, Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord of both the dead and of the living.

    33:27-33:32

    So the core of this issue of personal conviction is the intention of the heart.

    33:33-34:05

    What matters most is your desire to please the Lord him honor. So let's go through the examples I just gave a personal conviction and see if it's possible to honor the Lord with each one. Can you honor the Lord by abstaining from drinking alcohol? This is the participant, yeah participation. Can you still honor the Lord if you drink in moderation and away from those who can stumble in his presence? Can you honor Honor the Lord if you avoid all secular entertainment and social media.

    34:07-34:11

    Can you honor the Lord if you engage entertainment and social media with wisdom and caution?

    34:12-34:15

    Can you honor the Lord if you homeschool your kids?

    34:16-34:19

    Can you honor the Lord if you send your kids to private school?

    34:20-34:23

    Can you honor the Lord if you send your kids to public school?

    34:24-34:27

    Can you honor the Lord if you wear your Sunday best to worship?

    34:29-34:32

    Can you honor the Lord if you wear your everyday clothes, everyday clothes to church?

    34:34-34:35

    Everyone take a deep breath with me.

    34:38-34:39

    Don't you feel so much better?

    34:40-34:41

    I know I do.

    34:42-34:46

    There's so much freedom in the Christian life, but let's not abuse it and take it too far.

    34:47-34:52

    Let's not throw our freedom in other people's faces and flaunt our personal convictions.

    34:52-34:53

    That's not loving.

    34:54-34:58

    On the other hand, there are a lot of restrictions in the Christian life.

    34:58-35:04

    Let's not add expectations onto others that God himself does not command in his word.

    35:05-35:09

    That is the way of the Pharisees and not the way of Christ-like love.

    35:10-35:14

    Finally, how do I love Christians that I disagree with?

    35:15-35:19

    I must entrust them to God and focus on my own walk.

    35:20-35:23

    I must entrust them to God and focus on my own walk.

    35:27-35:36

    So Paul gives one final reason why we should choose the path of love rather than the path of judgment when it comes to preferences and minor disagreements.

    35:37-35:41

    In verses 10 through 12, he writes, "Why do you pass judgment on your brother?

    35:41-35:44

    Or you, why do you despise your brother?

    35:44-35:46

    For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.

    35:47-35:54

    For it is written, as I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God.

    35:54-36:01

    So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.

    36:04-36:08

    Paul already taught us that God is the ultimate master, not you or me.

    36:09-36:13

    Now he's teaching us that God is the final judge, not you or me.

    36:14-36:18

    One day I will stand before the judgment seat of God with no one by my side.

    36:20-36:21

    And the same is true for every single one of you.

    36:22-36:27

    You will give an account for your life and I'll have to give an account for my life.

    36:28-36:30

    God will not have me stand beside the judgments.

    36:30-36:32

    He is one of his pastoral advisors.

    36:33-36:40

    He will not call you forward to testify on my behalf or give a PowerPoint presentation of my personal convictions.

    36:41-36:48

    In light of this future reality, let us resist the urge to be judge, jury, and executioner right now.

    36:49-36:55

    in a culture of outrage and canceling people, let us go in the opposite direction.

    36:56-37:03

    When you go online or turn on the news, you just see this desire to constantly knock people down and destroy them.

    37:04-37:07

    That cannot be how we operate in the church.

    37:07-37:11

    We have to be people of unconditional grace and intentional love.

    37:13-37:23

    Let us entrust one another to God and believe that he will do what is right He will do what is good both right now and on that final day.

    37:25-37:29

    You know, one of my favorite parts of any of the gospels is found at the end of John.

    37:30-37:35

    You know, Jesus has arisen from the dead and he's spending time with his disciples before he ascends back to heaven.

    37:35-37:39

    And he takes Peter aside to let him know he will one day be martyred.

    37:39-37:41

    He will die for his faith.

    37:42-37:45

    That's a heavy bit of news to have dropped on you, isn't it?

    37:45-37:46

    While you're standing on the beach.

    37:48-37:50

    And there are a lot of different ways to respond to that kind of revelation.

    37:51-37:54

    And Peter responds by playing the comparison game.

    37:55-37:58

    He immediately points to John and says, "Lord, what about him?

    37:58-37:59

    "What about this guy?

    37:59-38:04

    "What's gonna happen to him?" And Jesus immediately shuts down this line of thinking.

    38:04-38:09

    And he says, "If it is my will to hear a man till I come, "what is that to you?

    38:09-38:14

    "You follow me." In other words, that is none of your business.

    38:15-38:17

    Just do what I have commanded you to do.

    38:19-38:20

    That reminds me of my son, Sam.

    38:21-38:27

    Whenever I give him a compliment and say, "Sam, you're being so good today." He always says, "Oh, is Emmy being bad?" Talking about his sister.

    38:29-38:35

    We're all like, "Sam, you're not being good right now." "Oh, is Emmy being good?" And I always say the same exact thing.

    38:35-38:37

    Don't worry about what your sister is doing.

    38:37-38:39

    Worry about what you're doing.

    38:41-38:43

    But it's so easy to play the comparison game, isn't it?

    38:44-38:46

    To obsess over the lifestyle of another.

    38:47-38:51

    to bash the opinions and choices of others.

    38:52-38:58

    Do you know what's one of the most loving things you can do for other followers of Christ?

    39:00-39:04

    Focusing on your own walk and becoming who the Lord has called you to be.

    39:06-39:07

    Does any answer surprise you?

    39:08-39:10

    It sounds counterintuitive, doesn't it?

    39:11-39:12

    But think about it.

    39:12-39:16

    You cannot truly know the heart and intentions of another.

    39:16-39:18

    You can only know your own.

    39:19-39:23

    You cannot change the mind of anyone else besides yourself.

    39:24-39:30

    You cannot control the actions of anyone in this room besides the one sitting in your own seat.

    39:31-39:38

    The people sitting next to you need to see your godly witness rather than listen to your ungodly critiques.

    39:39-39:45

    They need to witness your burning hot passion for the ministry rather than suffer through your cold hearted complaints.

    39:47-39:55

    The people sitting next to you need your love for the Lord to spill out onto them so that they can become who God has called them to be.

    39:57-39:59

    Please bow your head and close your eyes.

    40:01-40:04

    I encourage you to do some self-reflection for a minute or two.

    40:06-40:11

    Ask yourself, am I truly loving those I disagree with?

    40:13-40:16

    Do I continually choose to humble myself?

    40:18-40:21

    Or do I exalt myself by pushing away those who are different than me?

    40:22-40:24

    By arguing about things that don't really matter?

    40:25-40:27

    By holding on to feelings of anger and bitterness?

    40:29-40:32

    By forgetting my position and putting myself in the place of God?

    40:34-40:38

    Do I stand strong on my personal convictions or I force them on others?

    40:39-40:42

    Do I unhealthily pry into the lives of others?

    40:42-40:45

    Do I focus upon what the Lord has commanded me to do?

    40:47-40:50

    Honestly answer these questions and then repent of what you need to repent of.

    40:51-40:59

    Ask God for his help so that you can intentionally love everyone, even those you have a hard time seeing eye to eye with.

    40:59-41:00

    I'll close this in a final prayer.

    41:03-41:11

    Father, your word is so clear that the greatest and best way for the world to see you as for our love for one another.

    41:13-41:22

    And when we come to you and we admit that we so often fail to love one another, we fail to show others the same grace that you have given to us.

    41:25-41:33

    Lord, I pray for every single person in this room that you would cut us to the heart and reveal the ways that we don't love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

    41:34-41:42

    And you call, that would lead us to seek restoration, to seek peace, to do better from one day to the next.

    41:44-41:49

    The Lord, our natural reaction would be love and grace, not criticism and not judgment.

    41:51-42:10

    For those in this room who do not know you, I pray that you'd convict them that they're in need of salvation and that they can become a part of this family if they simply turn to Jesus Christ by grace, through faith.

    42:11-42:13

    Lord, we thank you for who you are.

    42:13-42:15

    We thank you for all that you do for us.

    42:16-42:17

    In Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Romans 14:1-12

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. What are some issues of opinion/preference that you see Christians arguing about and dividing over?

  3. Why is it so hard to love people that we disagree with?

  4. What does it look like to welcome one another at Harvest Bible Chapel? Is there a time and a place for debating issues or discussing disagreements?

  5. Why is it wrong to hold other Christians to your own personal convictions that are not clearly laid out in Scripture?

Breakout
Pray for one another.

How to Love Difficult People: How to Love Your Neighbor

Introduction:

Questions to Answer To Love Your Neighbor (Luke 10:25-37):

  1. Why Should We love our neighbor? (Luke 10:25-28)

    1. When we love others, we Show Our Love For God . (1 John 4:20-21)
    2. When we love others, we Are Most Like God . (1 John 4:7-8)
    3. When we love others, we Live . (Luke 10:28)
  2. Who is our neighbor? (Luke 10:29-37)
  3. WHat Do We Need To love our neighbor? (Luke 10:33-37)

    1. Awareness – See the need. (Luke 10:33a)
    2. Ccompassion – Feel the need. (Luke 10:33b)
    3. Tactile Action – Meet the need. (Luke 10:34-37)

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Intentional Love: How to Love Difficult People: How to Love Your Neighbor
Dan Thompson
  • 01:15-01:15

    Well, good morning.

    01:16-01:17

    My name is Dan Thompson.

    01:17-01:20

    I am one of the elders here at Harvest.

    01:20-01:24

    And my beautiful wife, Alicia, and I have been married for over 15 years.

    01:24-01:26

    We have three wonderful daughters.

    01:28-01:32

    Picking and choosing which one got which genes from which parents is always interesting.

    01:33-01:37

    But there is a distinct trait about myself that I'm seeing develop maybe in them.

    01:38-01:41

    By school and by trade, I am an engineer.

    01:42-01:49

    And I've preached about the struggles of being an engineer in the past, but I'm an engineer that works at a company of mostly engineers.

    01:49-01:51

    So that's a lot of my mindset.

    01:52-02:01

    And in engineering, especially mechanical engineering, which is what I studied, we had to take a lot of physics classes, right?

    02:01-02:05

    At its core, physics is the study of how and why different objects interact with each other.

    02:06-02:09

    You probably heard of Newton's laws of motion.

    02:09-02:15

    Most people know the third one, which is that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

    02:16-02:18

    Now, if you don't have much love for physics, just hang in there with me.

    02:19-02:24

    But if you ever did take a physics class, you probably remember a lot of time was spent talking about forces.

    02:24-02:28

    You might even remember a force diagram like this one up here.

    02:29-02:30

    Remember those things?

    02:31-02:31

    Yeah, painful.

    02:32-02:34

    But one of the forces on there is gravity, right?

    02:34-02:40

    Gravity is what pulls us down to the earth, but really gravity is objects interacting with each other.

    02:40-02:42

    Everything in the universe is pulling on everything else.

    02:43-02:51

    And early on in physics classes, these problems are simplified, such that they don't reflect reality, but it makes the math easier, so everybody likes it.

    02:52-02:55

    But eventually you need to do real problems.

    02:55-02:56

    You need to operate in reality.

    02:57-03:04

    And one of those annoying realities in physics, and in life, is the constant presence of friction.

    03:05-03:09

    Friction is the rubbing of one object against another.

    03:09-03:23

    Friction is the force that says, "No, I'm not going." Friction is the force that says, "Hey, slow down." Anytime you're solving a physics problem, friction is always there to waste energy.

    03:24-03:29

    And while that's true for physics problems, that is also true in human relationships.

    03:30-03:35

    Friction is always present when two or more people are involved.

    03:36-03:42

    Another definition of the word friction is a conflict between two people, a clash.

    03:43-03:46

    Friction is inevitable in every human relationship.

    03:47-03:48

    So what does that mean?

    03:48-03:56

    Well, it means that in order to have effective communication, in order to keep things moving well, we need to overcome this friction.

    03:58-04:00

    And how do we overcome friction in human relationships?

    04:01-04:02

    We do it through love.

    04:03-04:07

    But remember, the friction is an inevitable force of nature.

    04:07-04:13

    So overcoming the inevitable force of friction requires intentional love.

    04:13-04:16

    This year at Harvest, we have been getting intentional.

    04:17-04:33

    Intentional with missions, intentional faith from the extremely practical book of James, intentional hope from Jesus' teaching on end times in the book of Matthew, and we just studied intentional wisdom in various passages about how to have discernment.

    04:34-04:39

    And now we are gonna spend the next four weeks about intentional love.

    04:40-04:48

    Now you can make a case for the importance of those prior subjects, but when it comes to faith, hope, and love, the Bible says that the greatest of these is love.

    04:49-04:52

    So maybe of all the things we've studied so far, this is the most important.

    04:54-04:58

    And remember, being intentional means doing something on purpose.

    04:59-05:06

    Intentional love is critical because, contrary to Disney movies, love doesn't happen by accident or automatically.

    05:06-05:07

    Love takes work.

    05:08-05:11

    Love isn't the natural way we tend towards one another.

    05:11-05:14

    No, the natural way we tend towards each other is friction.

    05:15-05:19

    So we must be intentional to effectively love others the way that God calls us to do that.

    05:21-05:26

    And it takes even more intentionality to love other people that are difficult to love.

    05:27-05:30

    So before we get into the text, let me pray for us.

    05:31-05:36

    Father God, you love us with a love we can't even really comprehend.

    05:37-05:40

    We praise you, God, for all the ways that you provide.

    05:41-05:45

    You show your love even when we are very difficult to love, Lord.

    05:46-05:59

    And I pray, God, that through this passage that we would see your heart, your character, and then that would inspire us, motivate us to change and to act like our Heavenly Father because, God, you empower us and you command us to love others.

    06:00-06:04

    So I pray that you would speak through this passage, that you'd speak through me, Lord.

    06:04-06:13

    I pray that you would remove distractions, distractions from my speech, distractions from this room, distractions from our heart, Lord, and help us to focus on loving you and loving others.

    06:14-06:16

    In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

    06:17-06:20

    So you can open your Bibles to Luke chapter 10.

    06:21-06:26

    Today we are talking about loving our neighbors and who is my neighbor?

    06:27-06:29

    All right, we'll answer that question in the text.

    06:30-06:34

    But I wanna start with the right frame of mind because in reality, who is your neighbor?

    06:34-06:35

    That really could be anybody.

    06:35-06:37

    That's a very broad category.

    06:37-06:41

    And this series on intentional love, we're talking about loving difficult people.

    06:41-06:45

    So I want you to think of a difficult to love neighbor.

    06:46-06:46

    Right?

    06:46-06:49

    We said friction happens at close quarters.

    06:49-06:51

    Proximity can breed contempt.

    06:52-06:54

    Just being near a person bothers you.

    06:54-06:57

    But you can come up with any number of difficult to love neighbors.

    06:58-07:08

    Like as a purely hypothetical, imagine you were at your parking spot where you're gonna watch the fireworks display and some person pulls up at the last minute and blocks part of your view.

    07:09-07:14

    And they're playing Katy Perry really loud and they can't figure out how to turn their headlights off.

    07:14-07:16

    And they may or may not have a New Jersey license plate.

    07:17-07:19

    Like it's a purely hypothetical person.

    07:20-07:26

    Or maybe it's the person, the man that lives next door with that annoying barking dog that he can't keep it from barking.

    07:26-07:28

    You won't mourn when that dog dies.

    07:28-07:31

    Maybe that kind of difficult to love neighbor.

    07:32-07:37

    Or maybe it's the woman at work who regularly leaves her dirty dishes in the shared kitchenette for all to enjoy.

    07:39-07:43

    Or maybe it's the kid kicking the back of your seat on that red eye flight.

    07:44-07:47

    Or maybe it's the waitress who messed up your order again.

    07:48-07:55

    And just to make sure we've covered all our bases here, it could even be that car driving right on your bumper when you're already at the speed limit.

    07:57-08:06

    Today we are talking about people near you in any aspect of your life, especially those who for any reason you can justify, I don't need to show love to them.

    08:07-08:08

    That's the difficult to love neighbor.

    08:09-08:15

    And if none of those examples landed for you, I'm sure you can think of somebody in your life that is a difficult to love neighbor.

    08:16-08:20

    So with that in mind, let's read Luke chapter 10.

    08:20-08:22

    I'm gonna start in verse 25.

    08:23-08:31

    "And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, "Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "What is written in the law?

    08:31-08:43

    How do you read it?" And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and you shall love your neighbor as yourself." And he said to him, "You have answered correctly.

    08:44-08:47

    Do this and you will live." So let's stop there.

    08:48-08:49

    Here's the scene.

    08:49-08:53

    It's one of those moments where Jesus interacts with the Jewish leaders.

    08:54-08:54

    Friction.

    08:55-09:05

    Most of the time when Jesus interacted with those Jewish leaders, whether it was the Pharisees or the Sadducees, the scribes or here, this guy's referred to as the lawyers, they were against him.

    09:06-09:08

    It was regular friction.

    09:09-09:20

    So in this interaction, is this guy asking a genuine question because he's trying to learn from Jesus or is he just trying to trap him like that happens in other passages?

    09:21-09:22

    Well, it isn't super clear in the text.

    09:22-09:29

    We don't get his motivation, but the Greek word that's used here for put him to the test is only used three other times in the New Testament.

    09:29-09:33

    And every time it's used, it's do not put the Lord your God to the test.

    09:34-09:38

    So I'm gonna say he's got some suspect motives here about what he's asking Jesus.

    09:39-09:45

    But even with those suspect motives, this seems like a pretty typical interaction between a rabbi and a student.

    09:46-09:51

    Student asked the teacher a question and the teacher responds by asking the student a question right back.

    09:52-09:54

    So what's the lawyer's first question?

    09:54-09:59

    He says, "What shall I do to inherit eternal life?" So is this a good question?

    10:00-10:07

    Well, there's some good in it, but putting do and inherit in the same sentence sure doesn't seem to make sense.

    10:08-10:11

    What must you do to inherit your parents' estate?

    10:12-10:15

    Nothing, the inheritor doesn't do anything.

    10:15-10:25

    So he sort of starts off with a flawed question with potentially suspect motives, but it's definitely a good thing to talk to Jesus about eternal life, because he knows a thing or two about that.

    10:26-10:31

    But since Jesus doesn't give the answer for eternal life here, how does Jesus define eternal life?

    10:32-10:46

    Well, in John 17, verse three, Jesus says, "And this is eternal life, that they know you, "the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." Knowing Jesus and the Father, that is eternal life.

    10:47-10:52

    But most of the time when we think of eternal life, We ignore this part of life and we think of the next life.

    10:53-10:57

    But based on Jesus's definition, eternal life can start now and last forever.

    10:59-11:06

    When you study what Jesus says about eternal life, he talks more about having eternal life than inheriting eternal life.

    11:07-11:14

    Eternal life is something that we can have right now, but it's only there for those who believe in him, as it says in John 3:16.

    11:15-11:22

    So it's good for us to want eternal life Jesus about it, but no one else needs to die for us to have it.

    11:24-11:29

    Anyway, Jesus answers his question with a question in verse 26.

    11:29-11:31

    He says, what is written in the law?

    11:31-11:32

    How do you read it?

    11:33-11:42

    Jesus, as the perfect teacher, redirects him to the most reliable source of truth, the place where the answer to all of life's most important questions can be found.

    11:43-11:53

    He points him back to God's Word and the lawyer lives up to his name and he uses his knowledge of the law to answer the question correctly, which Jesus says.

    11:54-12:09

    The lawyer answers similarly to how Jesus answered the question when someone asked him, "What's the greatest commandment?" In verse 27, the lawyer says here that eternal life is really about loving God and loving others.

    12:10-12:20

    And so let's dig into that a little bit more as the message for today and true to a rabbi form, Let's look at a few questions on how to answer how to love your neighbor.

    12:21-12:22

    So here's the first question.

    12:23-12:26

    Why should we love our neighbor?

    12:27-12:28

    Why should we love our neighbor?

    12:28-12:36

    Well, there are plenty of motivations for loving our neighbor out there, but let me offer three reasons for why we should love our neighbor.

    12:37-12:42

    Letter A, when we love others, we show our love for God.

    12:43-12:52

    1 John 4 20, as Pastor Taylor read some of that section, "If anyone says I love God and hates his brother, "he's a liar.

    12:53-13:03

    "For he who does not love his brother whom he has seen "cannot love God whom he has not seen." The Apostle John in his old age was a straight shooter.

    13:03-13:07

    He says that if you don't love God, you hate your brother.

    13:08-13:18

    Meaning, I'm sorry, he says that if you claim to love God but you hate your brother, meaning you hate somebody that you're supposed to love, then the Bible calls you a liar.

    13:19-13:20

    And he lays it out pretty clear.

    13:20-13:23

    It's not about talking about hypothetical loving God.

    13:24-13:28

    It's about, can you live it out in practicality by loving the people that are right in front of you?

    13:29-13:30

    So do you love God?

    13:30-13:35

    Well, do that, show that, and impart at least by loving your neighbor.

    13:36-13:42

    The second motivation, letter B, When we love others, we are most like God.

    13:43-13:52

    A few verses earlier in that same letter by 1 John, he says, "Beloved, let us love one another, "for love is from God.

    13:53-13:56

    "Whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

    13:56-14:06

    "Anyone who does not love God does not know God "because God is love." The apostle John makes another very clear distinction about love.

    14:07-14:08

    God doesn't just know how to love.

    14:09-14:13

    He is the definition and manifestation of what love is.

    14:13-14:16

    If not for God, we would have no concept of love at all.

    14:17-14:26

    And as amazing as it is of how God has shown his love to us, he extends an invite and a command to us to be just like he is.

    14:27-14:31

    When we love people, we are acting most like God.

    14:32-14:33

    Think about this with me for a minute.

    14:34-14:36

    There's a lot of things that we need to do as Christians.

    14:37-14:38

    We need to die to ourselves.

    14:39-14:40

    We need to confess our sins.

    14:40-14:41

    We need to repent.

    14:41-14:42

    We need to ask for forgiveness.

    14:43-14:44

    We need to hope for the future.

    14:44-14:45

    We need to have faith.

    14:46-14:48

    But God doesn't need to do any of those things.

    14:49-14:50

    None of those things apply to God.

    14:50-14:54

    As important as all of those things are to the Christian walk, God doesn't do any of them.

    14:54-14:58

    But one thing that he definitely does do is he loves.

    14:58-15:01

    In fact, this verse says that he is love.

    15:01-15:09

    So when we love, we are doing something so like God, so consistent with his nature, don't you want to be more like your heavenly father?

    15:10-15:11

    We should want to be like him.

    15:11-15:14

    And this is actually the reason that we were made.

    15:14-15:18

    When God made Adam and Eve, he said he made them in his image.

    15:18-15:23

    And part of the image of God is this capacity for love to be like God.

    15:24-15:32

    The band Switchfoot has a song called "Native Tongue," and it gives a vivid picture of love being part of the image of God.

    15:33-15:36

    The song encourages people to speak their native tongue.

    15:36-15:41

    No, not English and not some pre-Babel one world thing that everybody spoke.

    15:43-15:44

    He's talking about love.

    15:45-15:49

    Our true native tongue is the one that God taught Adam and Eve in the garden.

    15:50-15:53

    And from that point forward, love is the language.

    15:53-15:54

    Love is our native tongue.

    15:55-15:57

    So why should we love our neighbor?

    15:57-16:02

    Well, we should do it to be like God in all the right reasons of being like God.

    16:03-16:05

    not the ones that got us in trouble in the first place.

    16:05-16:10

    We need to operate in line with the way that we are created and be like our creator.

    16:10-16:16

    And one last motivation here, when we love others, we live.

    16:18-16:21

    So the lawyer gets the answer correct, Jesus says that.

    16:21-16:25

    And then afterwards, Jesus says, do this and you will live.

    16:26-16:29

    He adds further motivation, you will live.

    16:30-16:34

    Jesus has a way of simplicity that is extremely compelling.

    16:35-16:43

    Jesus knew that this passage of, "You shall love the Lord your God and you shall love your neighbor," comes from Deuteronomy and from Leviticus.

    16:44-16:48

    And when Moses gave those commands that came from God, he offered the people a choice.

    16:49-16:57

    Love God and love others and do it God's way and live, or don't, do it your own way and don't love people and die.

    16:58-17:01

    He offered them a blessing or a curse.

    17:02-17:08

    So the implication here that Jesus says is, if you don't love God and love people, you will die.

    17:09-17:10

    So that escalated pretty quickly.

    17:12-17:17

    But with such a strong response from Jesus, what should the lawyer's response be?

    17:17-17:19

    What should our response be?

    17:19-17:21

    Maybe a confession of guilt.

    17:22-17:25

    The fact that we don't love God perfectly and we don't love other people perfectly.

    17:26-17:29

    Potentially some sign of repentance, Like I want to change and be different.

    17:29-17:36

    Or maybe he could have asked another question like, well, can I still inherit eternal life if I mess this up inevitably?

    17:36-17:37

    I already have.

    17:38-17:45

    By the man's own answer, he sets the bar for eternal life so high that no one can possibly achieve it except for Jesus.

    17:46-17:48

    But does the man absorb it that way?

    17:49-17:53

    No, no, like lawyers of our day, he looks for a loophole.

    17:55-17:57

    Which brings us to the next question.

    17:58-17:59

    Who is our neighbor?

    18:01-18:02

    Let me read verse 29.

    18:04-18:14

    But desiring to justify himself, he said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" So the text does tell us something here about this man's motives.

    18:14-18:17

    He tells us something that only God can see.

    18:18-18:22

    The lawyer's next question was spoken because he was trying to justify himself.

    18:23-18:25

    What does it mean to justify yourself?

    18:26-18:28

    Well, this man thought he was doing pretty well.

    18:28-18:31

    And so he was going to show and demonstrate why he was doing so well.

    18:32-18:36

    He's building the case for his own righteousness as we so often do.

    18:37-18:41

    There is a self-righteousness that each one of us are susceptible to.

    18:42-18:49

    And it's that self-righteousness that wants us to define the question of who is my neighbor as narrowly as humanly possible.

    18:50-18:59

    Because if my neighbor is only the people that are easy to love and I can ignore those other people that I don't really wanna love anyway, then maybe I'm not doing so bad at loving my neighbor.

    19:01-19:05

    If I only have to love certain people, maybe I'm on the right track.

    19:06-19:13

    And when the lawyer asked this question, he assumed that the only people that this command applied to were good Jews.

    19:13-19:19

    The Jewish scholars at that time taught that love was only due to righteous neighbors.

    19:20-19:22

    So love had to be earned.

    19:22-19:30

    In fact, unrighteous people like sinners, tax collectors, and certainly Samaritans, they had earned hatred, not love.

    19:31-19:42

    To the Jews of Jesus's day and to any self-righteous of any day, part of that self-righteousness includes hating the unrighteous.

    19:42-19:43

    But that's not God.

    19:44-19:45

    God's not like that.

    19:45-19:50

    Even though God chose Israel for himself, it is clear that his love extends to all of his creation.

    19:51-19:59

    And even though he commands each of us to be righteous, his love persistently extends to us and to others, even when we are unrighteous.

    20:01-20:05

    So this passage here, we know this famously as the parable of the Good Samaritan, right?

    20:06-20:10

    But ironically, the text never says that it's a parable, so it could even be true.

    20:11-20:14

    And the Samaritans never even called good in this passage.

    20:14-20:21

    In fact, a few chapters later in Luke, a rich young ruler is gonna ask Jesus almost the exact same question about inheriting eternal life.

    20:21-20:28

    And when the rich young ruler, he says, "Good teacher, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus says, "Oh, you call me good.

    20:29-20:36

    "There's nobody good but God." So let's look at the potential parable of the Samaritan who's not as good as God.

    20:37-20:41

    Jesus tells this story to answer the question of who is my neighbor.

    20:42-20:48

    And he uses the unexpected events to shatter their expectations of who we are commanded to love.

    20:49-20:52

    'Cause the shortest and simplest answer to who is my neighbor is anyone.

    20:53-20:58

    You don't have any excuse for excluding love to give to somebody else.

    20:58-21:02

    There's nobody you could say doesn't deserve it, doesn't get it.

    21:03-21:10

    Again, though, for today, let's focus our mindset on the difficult people that come across our paths.

    21:11-21:14

    We are called to love them with intentionality.

    21:15-21:17

    So let me read the rest of the passage and then we'll break it down.

    21:18-21:28

    Starting in verse 30, Jesus replied, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, "and he fell among robbers who stripped him "and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead.

    21:28-21:34

    "Now by chance, a priest was going down that road, "and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

    21:35-21:40

    "So likewise, a Levite, when he came to the place "and saw him, passed by on the other side.

    21:41-21:45

    "But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, "And when he saw him, he had compassion.

    21:46-21:53

    "And he went to him, bound up his wounds, "pouring oil and wine, and then set him on his own animal, "brought him to an inn and took care of him.

    21:53-22:06

    "And the next day he took out two denarii "and gave it to the innkeeper saying, "Take care of him and whatever more you spend, "I will repay you when I come back." So which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?

    22:06-22:19

    He said, "The one who showed him mercy." And Jesus said to him, "You go and do likewise." So because we don't live in first century Judea, let me give you some context to the story going on here.

    22:20-22:31

    The road from Jerusalem to Jericho was about 17 miles, and those traveling in that time, and especially traveling on that route, knew that it was very dangerous.

    22:31-22:35

    So someone getting attacked by robbers is not very unexpected.

    22:36-22:39

    Presumably this man was Jewish, but it doesn't actually tell us that.

    22:40-22:44

    But he's traveling on a dangerous road by himself, which is not a wise decision.

    22:45-22:48

    I mean, we could even say that what happened to him was his own fault.

    22:50-22:57

    And Jesus does say though, that they left him half dead, meaning that he wasn't dead, but left to himself, he would be dead.

    22:58-23:01

    In fact, you might even say he's as good as dead, and that'll come up in a minute.

    23:03-23:08

    After the robbers interact with him, there are three other people that come across his path.

    23:08-23:10

    The first one is the priest.

    23:11-23:13

    These are the descendants of Aaron.

    23:13-23:17

    They were set aside to do the sacrificial work of God in the temple.

    23:18-23:21

    And you can kind of think of priests as our modern day pastors.

    23:21-23:27

    Priests were the religious leaders who were expected to show mercy, maybe more than anyone.

    23:28-23:35

    In addition to all the religious duties of the temple, priests also had many medical related duties to treat and cleanse God's people.

    23:36-23:44

    So more than anyone, The priest had both an obligation medically and religiously to come and help this guy.

    23:45-23:48

    The second guy that passes is the Levite.

    23:48-23:59

    These are the descendants of Levi, who was an entire tribe of Israel that was dedicated to God for the work of God, supporting all the work that the priest did in the temple and tabernacle.

    23:59-24:06

    Like the priests, the Levites had to stay clean by following the requirements of the law, but they were assigned different religious duties.

    24:07-24:12

    And they were more hands-on, moving, construction, cleaning, serving with their hands.

    24:13-24:16

    You can think of the Levites as the church deacons, the ministry leaders.

    24:16-24:21

    These are the religious workers who should always be ready to do the work of God.

    24:22-24:33

    In both cases, they were going down from Jerusalem, which presumably means they really didn't have religious work going on that they could claim was their excuse for why they didn't help them.

    24:33-24:34

    They were going away from the temple.

    24:36-24:38

    The third person that comes across is the Samaritan.

    24:38-24:43

    He's the hero of the story, but he would not have been the hero to the hearers.

    24:43-24:47

    Nobody in that day would have wanted to have been associated with this Samaritan.

    24:47-24:50

    It's easy for us 'cause we know him as the good Samaritan.

    24:50-24:59

    He's clearly the hero, but it's hard to fully comprehend just how much total hatred there was between the Jews and the Samaritans.

    25:00-25:08

    The infighting among the tribes of Israel went back as far as when it was just Jacob and his sons, almost 2000 years before Jesus.

    25:09-25:17

    The Samaritans didn't really form a nation until after the kingdom was divided after the reign of Solomon, which is about 1000 years before Christ.

    25:18-25:23

    That Northern kingdom had its capital in Samaria, which is why they're referred to as Samaritans.

    25:23-25:31

    And after 200 years of wicked kings and ignored prophets, God gave that kingdom over into pagan captivity.

    25:32-25:36

    And as a result of that captivity, foreigners moved into the land.

    25:36-25:44

    The people of the Samaritan people intermingled with and intermarried with those foreigners and intermingled their religion.

    25:44-25:52

    So now they're this half breed cross that just was at odds with Judaism for about 500 years.

    25:53-25:56

    So the Jews and the Samaritans had no love for each other.

    25:56-25:59

    In fact, they had good reasons to hate each other.

    26:00-26:07

    Josephus records a time when the Samaritans snuck into the Jewish temple and decorated it with corpses.

    26:08-26:10

    Not very kosher, I don't think.

    26:11-26:18

    But to be fair, the Jews had already destroyed the Samaritan temple by that point in time, so you know, maybe it was even.

    26:19-26:26

    So there's centuries of racial, political, geographical, and religious hatred on both sides.

    26:26-26:29

    This is a level of animosity that we're talking about here.

    26:29-26:36

    This is deep seated hatred, obnoxious neighbor feuding at full force.

    26:37-26:43

    So when Jesus introduces the Samaritan as the hero, this was totally unacceptable.

    26:44-26:52

    In fact, the Samaritans were so repulsive that the lawyer doesn't even say Samaritan when he answers which one was the neighbor to the man.

    26:52-26:55

    He just mutters out the one who showed him mercy.

    26:56-27:02

    In his use of the Samaritan as the hero, Jesus is not condoning the Samaritan way of life or their religion.

    27:03-27:13

    He's just trying to shatter the expectations and reorient us with a completely unexpected person doing the work that God has called us all to do.

    27:14-27:25

    In order to overcome the friction that naturally occurs between neighbors, we need God's help, because we don't have this capacity naturally within ourselves.

    27:26-27:30

    So this brings us to the last question, and our application for today.

    27:32-27:34

    What do we need to love our neighbor?

    27:35-27:37

    What do we need to love our neighbor?

    27:37-27:46

    So not only does Jesus answer the question of who is our neighbor with this story, but the Samaritan provides a great example of how we should love our neighbors.

    27:47-27:53

    Here's three things that we need that God can provide for us to effectively love our neighbors.

    27:54-27:56

    First one is A, awareness.

    27:57-27:59

    See the need.

    28:00-28:04

    Awareness is the ability to have conscious knowledge of something.

    28:05-28:07

    As a society, we talk a lot about awareness.

    28:07-28:10

    We have medical research movements for cancer awareness.

    28:11-28:15

    Pop psychology makes a big deal about self-awareness and social awareness.

    28:16-28:21

    Nonprofit organizations are always launching some awareness campaign for whatever their cause is.

    28:22-28:25

    In all of those things though, there's one common fact.

    28:26-28:30

    If you don't know about the problem, you can't and you won't do anything to help.

    28:31-28:38

    And you can't love someone if you aren't making an intentional effort of being aware of what's going on in their life.

    28:39-28:42

    Loving someone means looking out for their needs.

    28:43-28:50

    But even as aware of awareness we are as a people, we live in an age where we aren't connected or in community.

    28:51-28:58

    As social media and other avenues may give us lots of surface level facts about people, we're missing their true needs.

    28:59-29:00

    And why is that?

    29:00-29:02

    Why aren't we seeing the needs of other people?

    29:02-29:06

    Well, here's a few reasons why we're not seeing the needs.

    29:06-29:07

    First of all, we're too busy.

    29:08-29:09

    Our plate is too full.

    29:10-29:11

    We have somewhere I need to be.

    29:12-29:15

    Life is a constant rush from one thing to the next.

    29:15-29:19

    And as soon as free time is known, it's used.

    29:19-29:20

    And this is where I live.

    29:21-29:24

    I'm probably living in the busiest season of my life.

    29:24-29:25

    At least that's what it feels like.

    29:25-29:28

    I'm sure there's people with more wisdom that will tell me, yeah, you'll feel like that later too.

    29:29-29:32

    But I'm too busy to see other people's needs.

    29:33-29:35

    Or maybe we're too self-focused.

    29:36-29:38

    I'm dealing with my own issues here, right?

    29:39-29:42

    I'll be able to look around once I finished getting through all my phone notifications.

    29:42-29:44

    I got a bunch of backlog.

    29:46-29:48

    Even when I'm walking around, maybe my thoughts are someplace else.

    29:48-29:50

    I'm thinking of what's the next thing to do.

    29:50-29:53

    I'm completely distracted and not in the present.

    29:54-29:55

    So we won't see other people's needs.

    29:55-30:01

    If we're too busy, if we're too self-focused, or maybe we're just unwilling to look.

    30:02-30:04

    Like I don't really wanna get involved, right?

    30:04-30:08

    If I ask you how you're doing, can you just say fine and let's move on?

    30:08-30:09

    Like don't actually give a real answer, please.

    30:10-30:17

    It's really awkward and messy getting involved in other people's issues or getting into big issues.

    30:18-30:21

    In the past, I've preached against the evils of abortion.

    30:21-30:24

    And for many Christians, this is just too horrible of an issue to even look at.

    30:24-30:26

    I just can't even look at it, I just need to move on.

    30:27-30:41

    But if we're unwilling to look at how evil it is, what actually happens, and who has destroyed the babies, the women and the men by this industry, how are we possibly gonna act to see the needs that it leaves behind?

    30:42-30:50

    Or maybe as a lesser extreme example, how can I know what my neighbor's needs are if I never see them or spend any time with them?

    30:51-30:54

    What kind of love can I offer if I don't know them at all?

    30:54-31:00

    If all we're doing is waving and saying hi and talking about the weather, what kind of intentionality is that?

    31:01-31:07

    We live in a pretty quiet, semi-rural, rectangular loop of a neighborhood of about 30 homes.

    31:08-31:10

    And we lived there for about six years now.

    31:11-31:18

    And sadly, and I have all kinds of excuses for why, I really don't know the first thing about most of my neighbors.

    31:19-31:27

    You know, I might recognize which car is theirs, and I probably know their mowing patterns, but I don't really have an awareness of their needs.

    31:27-31:38

    And so putting this message together, I had a heavy conviction that I am a pathetic, lame neighbor in just the most vanilla American sense, not even holding it up to the standard of God.

    31:40-32:07

    So as a first step toward building community and awareness, I wrote a short letter and delivered it to my neighbors, in some cases, introducing myself for the first time, apologizing for failing as a neighbor and providing them my cell phone and an open invitation to say, "If you ever need anything, reach out." It was awkward for sure, but I can already see how God can and will use this for good and that was really only a first step.

    32:07-32:09

    So we'll see where it goes from there.

    32:10-32:11

    But how can we increase our awareness?

    32:12-32:14

    How can we better see the need?

    32:14-32:15

    First, start with prayer.

    32:16-32:22

    We have to ask God to help us love like him and to see people like he sees them.

    32:22-32:29

    We cannot love the way that God loves without the Holy Spirit daily filling us to love like he does.

    32:30-32:36

    We need God's wisdom to discern what people's needs actually are and how we can best help.

    32:37-32:39

    Second, we need to open our eyes.

    32:40-32:43

    How many of us have seen the person walking around like this?

    32:44-32:45

    Yeah, I'll help you, yeah, yeah.

    32:46-32:47

    How often have you been that person?

    32:48-32:50

    We're too distracted by other things.

    32:50-32:58

    We have to take intentional action to open our eyes and look around us, seeing where the needs are, 'cause it's not that hard.

    32:58-33:02

    If you see a person walking with a bunch of things approaching a door, what do they need?

    33:03-33:07

    At least somebody to open the door, maybe someone to help them carry the stuff.

    33:08-33:12

    Or maybe if you see somebody that looks like they've been crying, they look like they've been upset.

    33:12-33:15

    You might say, "Well, maybe they just need personal space." That's an excuse.

    33:16-33:19

    They probably just need somebody to come up and ask them if they're okay.

    33:20-33:22

    We must look for needs.

    33:22-33:23

    They are all around us.

    33:25-33:28

    And lastly, we pray, we open our eyes, and we gotta slow down.

    33:29-33:35

    We live in a very busy world where busyness is the badge of honor of society.

    33:35-33:36

    How busy are you?

    33:36-33:37

    Oh, I'm busier than you.

    33:38-33:44

    But it's powerfully convicting to see that with everything that Jesus did, he never hurried.

    33:45-33:47

    He was never in a hurry anywhere that he was going.

    33:48-33:57

    And we need to follow his example, fighting against the societal norm of busyness and leaving room to see the needs and help others.

    33:59-34:07

    But in our story here, Jesus said that both the priest and the Levites saw the need, but they did nothing to help.

    34:07-34:08

    So how can this be?

    34:09-34:12

    They saw the need but they didn't feel the need enough to do anything about it.

    34:13-34:16

    So that's the second thing we need to love our neighbor. We need compassion.

    34:17-34:19

    We need to feel the need.

    34:20-34:23

    Anybody in here have one of those robot vacuums, Roomba?

    34:23-34:29

    I love those things. Fantastic. In 15 years of marriage, the robot has done more vacuuming than either of us. It is awesome.

    34:30-34:37

    We have a wise robot. But let me ask you, as helpful as those things are, do they care if your floor is clean?

    34:38-34:43

    No, they don't. In fact, do they care if they're running through a pile of cat puke?

    34:43-36:57

    Dragging it all over the room. No, they do not. In fact, they've done that Do they even care about you as the owner their provider the one that is the source of electricity for them No, they don't care. They don't even care about themselves They don't have the capacity to do that But as we talked about earlier, we do have that capacity to love and to care for people because God Created us in his image and he gave us that capacity So when we serve and love other people, we are not supposed to be like the Roomba helping but not caring That's not how God loves And we're hearing a lot about Artificial intelligence these days right AI is gonna bring huge improvements to our lives In fact, the drawing of the three people that I chat GPT did that for me So we're gonna have chat GPT Alexa Siri Gemini. I think Amazon's named Rufus for some reason Those things are gonna keep coming Coming and being helpful, but never caring about you Thankfully God does not help like that and neither are we supposed to do that God loves with compassion What is compassion? Well, compassion is feeling a need so deeply that we must take action Compassion is not a hard concept to understand. I promise you that everyone in this room Understands compassion. We all know how to feel a need deep within us that compels us to take action When we were in Thailand Teaching the evangelists there I taught about this concept of compassion using it using an example that they were all very familiar with tamarind tea a Tamarind is a tropical fruit that has many nutrients that are antioxidant antifungal antibacterial antiviral But probably the first thing you'll notice if you have a tamarind or tea made from it is it is that it is it is an extremely powerful laxative drink tamarind tea, it won't be long before you feel a need that compels you to take action.

    36:59-37:55

    This is just like compassion. We must feel the need to the point where we have no choice but to take action. And this is actually literally what the Greek word means. It means to yearn in your bowels, because that's where the Greeks thought love came from. But I promise you, you deep that it forces you to take action. And when you look at the Gospels and look specifically at Jesus's life, the Bible says something almost every time right before Jesus does a miracle. It says he had compassion. When he saw the people suffering with diseases and demons coming to him, he felt their need and he acted. When the blind men cried out to him to have mercy, he felt their need and acted. After teaching the 5,000 and the 4,000 people for hours, he felt their need for food, and he acted by miraculously feeding them.

    37:56-38:12

    He also told us stories about how to have compassion, like this one about the Samaritan, and in a different story about the prodigal son, at the end when the father sees his son returning from home, he has compassion on him, and that's what compels him to run to his son and hug him.

    38:13-38:14

    The Samaritan has compassion here.

    38:15-38:18

    He feels the need so much that he has to act.

    38:20-38:27

    So like the Levite or the priest, how come we don't feel the need even when we see it?

    38:29-38:32

    I think most of the time, it's just 'cause we have a cold heart for people.

    38:33-38:42

    Whether we've been burned by others in the past or jaded by the suffering of, there's always gonna be people suffering in the world or overwhelmed by our own troubles.

    38:42-38:46

    We just don't care enough about other people's needs.

    38:47-38:53

    It is a very sad state of the world, and it's an indicator of how far we are from God.

    38:54-38:55

    So we have a cold heart.

    38:56-38:59

    Or maybe it just seems too hopeless, right?

    38:59-39:00

    This guy was half dead.

    39:01-39:02

    What could these guys possibly do?

    39:03-39:05

    There was probably nothing that they could do to save him, they thought.

    39:06-39:09

    The problems are just too big for any one person to do anything about.

    39:10-39:11

    He's too far gone.

    39:11-39:12

    We can't save him.

    39:13-39:27

    Well, when Charles Spurgeon preached on this passage, He said, "I never knew a man refused to help the poor who failed to give at least one admirable excuse." That's what we're all good at doing, coming up with admirable excuses for not helping.

    39:30-39:32

    Or maybe we just rationalize that this was his own fault.

    39:33-39:35

    He brought this trouble upon himself.

    39:35-39:38

    Who is this guy to go on a dangerous road by himself?

    39:38-39:38

    Is he stupid?

    39:40-39:43

    I mean, isn't this exactly what he should have expected was going to happen?

    39:43-39:48

    So why should I go out of my way to help over-correct his foolishness?

    39:48-39:54

    Or maybe, I mean, sure, my neighbors are elderly, but don't they have their own children that can come and help them?

    39:55-39:59

    I, yeah, I see her struggling with her kids over there, but she's really been gossiping about everybody.

    39:59-40:01

    So it's kind of like getting what she deserves.

    40:02-40:07

    When we're talking about our difficult to love neighbors, we don't want to feel their needs.

    40:07-40:09

    We shut ourself off from it.

    40:09-40:10

    We don't want to care.

    40:10-40:22

    We don't want to get our hands dirty, and we can do this individually, or we can do it collectively as the holy huddle, where we're gonna help our people within, but anybody out, forget it.

    40:23-40:31

    It is a dangerous world when the church behaves like the Levite or the priest, where we walk on the other side of the road and refuse to get our hands dirty.

    40:33-40:34

    See, God's people failed this man.

    40:35-40:41

    So where are the areas today where God's people are walking on the other side of the road, refusing to get involved?

    40:42-40:43

    Is it the dirtiness of politics?

    40:44-40:45

    I don't like any of those guys.

    40:46-40:47

    Is it social controversies?

    40:47-40:49

    Well, that's too touchy.

    40:49-40:50

    I don't wanna talk about that with people.

    40:51-40:53

    Is it the hurting of broken families?

    40:53-40:54

    That's just too messy.

    40:54-40:55

    I don't wanna get involved.

    40:57-41:03

    Look, if we want to love God, we need to want to see the needs of others and help them.

    41:04-41:07

    In order to do that, we need to have compassion like this.

    41:07-41:14

    compassion that drives us to feel the need and then take action, which is the final point for today.

    41:15-41:16

    Tactile action.

    41:17-41:19

    Meet the need.

    41:20-41:28

    So you might say, "Tactile? Really? What are you doing?" Full disclosure, I wanted the sermon application to be summarized by the acrostic of "act," A-C-T.

    41:29-41:36

    So that is the simplest thing I could encourage you to do, is each one of us to be a neighbor. We need to act.

    41:36-42:05

    Jesus says it in verse 37 go and do likewise. It's pretty simple go and do We don't spend enough of our time intentionally loving others by going and doing So to get act I needed a T here But even more than that, I really like the word tactile and let me explain to you why it fits very well here So there's different learning styles, right? And most of us have heard the difference between auditory learners and visual learners, right?

    42:05-42:09

    Are you, do you absorb information more by sound or by sight?

    42:10-42:11

    Who are my visual learners?

    42:11-42:12

    Any visual learners in here?

    42:12-42:13

    Just a few of you.

    42:13-42:14

    How about auditory?

    42:14-42:15

    Who's more auditory?

    42:16-42:16

    Right?

    42:17-42:21

    Well, there's another main category called tactile learners.

    42:22-42:22

    That's what I am.

    42:23-42:24

    It's an engineer in me.

    42:25-42:28

    Tactile learners learn by touching, putting their hands on it, doing it.

    42:29-42:32

    They have to put their hands on it to figure out the solution.

    42:35-42:38

    So, when it comes to being tactile, you're touching things to feel.

    42:39-42:44

    When it comes to loving others, we need to be tactile by getting our hands dirty.

    42:45-42:49

    We have to be tactile in taking action towards the needs of others.

    42:49-42:58

    It's not just enough to say, "Man, I really feel bad for that guy." It's not enough to say, "I'll pray for him.

    42:58-43:02

    Do something about it." And this is what the Samaritan does.

    43:02-43:09

    He goes to the man, he binds his wounds, he gives him medicine, and he takes him where he can get further help.

    43:10-43:12

    The Samaritan does all of this at his own expense.

    43:14-43:16

    But there's also an implied sense of urgency here.

    43:16-43:18

    We need to take hands-on action right away.

    43:19-43:27

    Proverbs 3, 27 and 28 says, "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, "when it is in your power to do it.

    43:27-43:32

    "Do not say to your neighbor, "go and come again tomorrow, I will give it, when you have it with you now.

    43:33-43:34

    We should not wait to help others.

    43:34-43:37

    And the Samaritan didn't wait for the man to ask him for help.

    43:38-43:41

    So where are you seeing needs in your life that you could help with?

    43:41-43:46

    What tactile action to love your neighbor is waiting to be done in your life?

    43:47-43:52

    Pastor Jeff taught last week that we need to have discernment to be able to know how to best help needs.

    43:52-43:54

    Not every problem is a hammer solution, right?

    43:56-44:00

    But in each of those situations, there's some sort of hands-on action.

    44:00-44:05

    admonishing the idle, encouraging the faint-hearted, helping the weak, jumping in and taking action.

    44:06-44:11

    How we should act is the question, but not whether or not we should act.

    44:11-44:13

    Tactile action is assumed.

    44:14-44:16

    We must always seek to find the best way to love our neighbor.

    44:17-44:21

    Yes, but the need for discernment cannot be an excuse to do nothing.

    44:23-44:36

    The concept of love as an action verb is all throughout the Bible, but one of the clearest displays on what love looks like is in 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, read and often ignored at weddings all around the world.

    44:37-44:44

    1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 8 says, "Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast.

    44:44-44:49

    It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful.

    44:49-45:25

    It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Now don't think of this as some theological definition, some theoretical concept of love. This is the description of the perfect picture of what God did for us by sending his son Jesus. And this comes across really powerfully when you replace each use of love here with Jesus's name. Instead, Jesus is patient and kind.

    45:25-46:03

    Jesus does not boast or envy. Jesus is not arrogant or rude. He does not insist on his own way. Jesus is not irritable or resentful. Jesus does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Jesus bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Jesus never fails. And as powerfully true and amazing as that concept is, it's highlighted in even more contrast when you substitute your own name instead. And I'll spare you that by putting my own name, but it works just as well with yours. Dan is patient and kind. Dan does not boast or envy.

    46:04-46:09

    Dan is not arrogant or rude. He does not insist on his own way. Dan is not irritable or resentful.

    46:09-46:16

    Dan does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Dan bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

    46:17-46:19

    Dan never fails.

    46:20-46:25

    This is painfully false with my name in there and it would be with yours as well.

    46:26-46:30

    But thanks be to God that it is perfectly true with his son's name.

    46:31-46:41

    Over the next part of this month, we are going to talk about some extremely difficult people to love, people far more difficult to love than just your obnoxious neighbor.

    46:42-46:46

    But we live in a world that wants to divide us against each other.

    46:46-46:49

    We live in a world of inevitable friction.

    46:50-46:56

    Look, I don't know the story between you and your difficult to love neighbor, but the truth is is that I don't have to know it.

    46:57-47:04

    Because I know the greatest story, the story of where the love of God overcomes the difficulty of loving us.

    47:05-47:12

    And it is the same love that God has given to us that will overcome any amount of friction you experience in your life towards others.

    47:12-47:23

    God demonstrated perfect love towards us by offering his son in our place, and through his Holy Spirit, he empowers us to love exactly the way he does to other people.

    47:23-47:27

    Eternal life starts now if we know God and know his love.

    47:28-47:32

    And as an outpouring of God's love in our life, we must love our neighbor.

    47:33-47:36

    In our universe, powerful forces are always at work.

    47:37-47:47

    Within the laws of physics, everything without exception operates with friction as an inevitable force between two things, abrasively rubbing against each other.

    47:49-47:56

    But it is the creator of physics and our universe that has overcome inevitable friction with his intentional love.

    47:56-48:00

    So love God with all your soul by loving like he does.

    48:00-48:05

    Be aware of the needs of your neighbor, show compassion and feel compelled by their needs.

    48:06-48:10

    Take tactile action to meet their needs with your hands and at your own expense.

    48:11-48:12

    go and do likewise.

    48:14-48:14

    Let's pray.

    48:16-48:20

    God, I thank you for your example of love.

    48:20-48:30

    God, your goodness that is on display through your son, through the cross, Lord, and through a perfect life that was given for us.

    48:30-48:33

    Lord, we are so unlovable, God.

    48:34-48:37

    We are difficult to love even in our best days, Lord.

    48:38-48:46

    And that thanks be to God that you still love us, You still show us mercy and love, and you invite us to be like you and to show love to others, God.

    48:46-48:57

    I pray that you would provoke in us a sense of awareness, a sense of compassion, and the opportunity to take some real action to help other people, Lord.

    48:58-49:03

    I thank you for this passage, Lord, that you have preserved through all of time for this day.

    49:03-49:13

    And I pray, God, that these ideas that we have absorbed and understood, Lord, that we would not just keep them in our heads, but that we would live them out outside of this room.

    49:14-49:16

    In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Luke 10:25-37

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. What motivation is most compelling for you to do a better job of loving your neighbor?

  3. Which of your neighbors do you need to show love to?

  4. Which of the ACT steps are you missing? Awareness? Compassion? Tactile action? Make a plan to do something different.

Breakout
Pray for one another.

The Lost Art of Discernment. How Can I Help You?

Introduction:

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Discerning Needs in the Church:

  1. The idle need Admonished . (1 Thess 5:14a)
  2. The fainthearted need Encouraged . (1 Thess 5:14b)
  3. The weak need Help . (1 Thess 5:14c)

    Galatians 6:1 - Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

  4. You need Discernment . (1 Thess 5:14)
  5. We all need Grace . (1 Thess 5:14-15)

    1. Be Patient .
    2. Be Merciful .
    3. Be Good .

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Intentional Wisdom: The Lost Art of Discernment. How Can I Help You?
Jeff Miller
  • 00:46-00:50

    Open your Bibles with me please to 1 Thessalonians chapter 5.

    00:53-01:11

    While you're turning there, many years ago at my former church, there was a season where there was a lady and her husband, they lived right down the road from the church, and they were calling often, asking if I could help them move.

    01:13-01:14

    I didn't know who they were.

    01:15-01:18

    And I'm like, you know what, I got a lot going on.

    01:19-01:24

    And I got a degenerated spine, but she kept calling.

    01:26-01:33

    And then finally I came to this place, I'm like, you know what, maybe, maybe this is an evangelism opportunity.

    01:34-01:44

    You know, maybe this is somebody that the Lord is bringing to me to minister his love and I've just been pushing this couple off.

    01:45-01:46

    So I said, all right, you know what?

    01:47-01:49

    I didn't really have the time.

    01:49-01:53

    I'm like, OK, you know, I got a couple hours this afternoon that I'm just going to go help you.

    01:53-01:58

    And I went down and went into their apartment.

    01:58-02:03

    And they had a whole giant stack of boxes.

    02:05-02:11

    And I would say, conservatively, about 80% of them were labeled underwear.

    02:15-02:20

    And I know you probably have the same question that I have, but I didn't ask.

    02:23-02:27

    Well, the good thing was they lived on the second floor apartment.

    02:27-02:29

    There was no elevator, so it was all steps.

    02:31-02:37

    And I loaded up my little-- I had a Jeep Grand Cherokee at the time, stuffed it as full as I could.

    02:37-02:42

    And even better was the apartment they moved into was up three flights of steps.

    02:45-02:45

    But I'm like, you know what?

    02:45-02:47

    Maybe this is an opportunity, right?

    02:47-02:47

    Maybe it's not.

    02:48-02:50

    So after a couple hours of this, I...

    02:52-02:54

    And by the way, her husband sat there and watched me work the whole time.

    02:54-02:55

    That's another story.

    02:55-02:59

    But like, grab a box of underwear and help there, guy.

    03:00-03:08

    But like, but finally I said to the lady, I said, so do you have a church home?

    03:08-03:10

    And she goes, oh yeah, we go to church in Worthington.

    03:12-03:23

    I said, "Oh, why isn't anybody from your church helping you move?" She goes, "Pfft." She goes, "I could never ask my pastor to help.

    03:23-03:28

    He's too busy." She goes, "And besides, he has a bad back."

    03:29-03:30

    (congregation laughing)

    03:31-03:32

    Wah, wah.

    03:37-03:39

    You know we're called to help people, right?

    03:40-03:46

    But sometimes, sometimes people can be very hard to help.

    03:48-03:53

    And sometimes we don't know the best way to help people.

    03:54-03:58

    Well, fortunately we have God's word to teach us.

    03:58-04:02

    So let's bow our heads, lock in Keaton.

    04:02-04:09

    I'm gonna ask you to pray for me and I'm gonna pray for you as we get into God's word together.

    04:10-04:10

    Did I say that right?

    04:12-04:13

    Okay, thank you.

    04:13-04:13

    All right.

    04:14-04:16

    I'm learning new terminology, so.

    04:20-04:21

    I'm still working on that one.

    04:22-04:22

    Let's pray.

    04:25-04:28

    Father in heaven, the command is clear in your word, we are to love one another.

    04:29-04:33

    And sometimes that is hard to figure out exactly how to do that.

    04:35-04:38

    But it's absolutely necessary.

    04:39-04:43

    Your son told us that the world will know that we belong to him by the way that we love one another.

    04:49-05:06

    When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he told us, "It's to love you, Father." But Jesus also said, "The second greatest is like it. We are to love one another." We're to do unto others the way we would have them do unto us.

    05:07-05:21

    And Father, I just pray that you would grow us in our affection for you, which will result in true love for one another.

    05:22-05:27

    Father, let your word minister to us now, we ask in Jesus' name, amen.

    05:29-05:31

    So this month we've been talking about discernment.

    05:31-05:34

    And on the first week, we talked about discerning the truth.

    05:35-05:40

    You have to test everything that you hear according to the word of God.

    05:40-05:41

    You have to filter it through the word.

    05:42-05:44

    And then we talked about discerning God's will.

    05:45-05:49

    Does God have a path for your life that you've got to make sure you stay on?

    05:49-05:50

    No, it doesn't work that way.

    05:51-05:54

    You need to present yourself as a living sacrifice.

    05:54-05:58

    You need to not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

    05:58-06:04

    And you do that, you will know what God's will is.

    06:05-06:12

    And last week we talked about making the best choices, discerning the best choices, even in gray areas.

    06:14-06:24

    Now, all of these things, the truth and God's will and choosing what's best, all of those things are really about you and you alone.

    06:27-06:32

    Your walk, your knowing the truth, your choices.

    06:32-06:34

    That's kind of a just you thing, right?

    06:37-06:37

    But you're not alone.

    06:39-06:46

    And discernment is something that you need in your relationships with others in the church.

    06:50-06:55

    This isn't just for pastors or elders or small group leaders.

    06:55-06:58

    This is, you're going to see, this is for everybody.

    07:00-07:04

    How can I effectively minister to people with problems?

    07:05-07:06

    You gotta use discernment.

    07:08-07:09

    You gotta use discernment.

    07:09-07:13

    Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter five.

    07:13-07:14

    Look at verses 12 and 13.

    07:14-07:28

    He says, "We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work.

    07:30-07:32

    Be at peace among yourselves.

    07:36-07:38

    Those verses aren't really part of the sermon today.

    07:40-07:41

    I just like them.

    07:43-07:44

    Look at verse 14.

    07:47-07:55

    He says, "And we urge you, brothers." Now, there's a little shift there, right?

    07:55-08:02

    Verse 12, he says, "We ask you," And verse 14, "We urge you," this is a little stronger here.

    08:03-08:04

    This is a little stronger.

    08:05-08:22

    He says, "We urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak." And here Paul is telling the Thessalonian church, hey, you gotta take care of each other.

    08:23-08:25

    You've got to take care of each other.

    08:28-08:31

    But you have to do it appropriately.

    08:32-08:34

    So on your outline, I want you to jot some things down.

    08:35-08:36

    Discerning needs in the church.

    08:39-08:40

    How can I help you?

    08:40-08:48

    Well, we were introduced to three categories of people in these verse, in verse 14 rather.

    08:49-08:52

    So number one, let's talk about the idol.

    08:52-08:55

    Number one, the idol need admonished.

    08:55-08:56

    we're gonna talk about the idol first.

    08:57-09:00

    The idol need admonished.

    09:01-09:03

    Let's look at verse 14 again.

    09:05-09:06

    Very simple today.

    09:08-09:18

    But he says, and we urge you brothers, admonish the idol.

    09:21-09:23

    What's the idol?

    09:23-09:24

    What is the...

    09:24-09:26

    Actually, that was a military term.

    09:27-09:31

    And it was used about a soldier who wasn't keeping rank.

    09:31-09:39

    In fact, the Greeks used this word to describe men who refused to serve their country.

    09:41-09:43

    Like, well, what does that mean for the church?

    09:45-09:48

    Well, in church, we call them pew sitters.

    09:49-09:50

    You guys know what a pew is?

    09:50-09:51

    I might be showing my age here.

    09:52-09:53

    You know what a pew is?

    09:53-09:54

    (congregation laughing)

    09:56-09:57

    Pew sitters.

    09:59-10:03

    In the church, he's talking about, another word we could use is lazy.

    10:04-10:06

    I'm not very good at sugarcoating things.

    10:06-10:13

    He's talking about people that are attending, but they're not involved.

    10:16-10:19

    They just warm a seat every Sunday.

    10:21-10:24

    And then we'll see you next Sunday.

    10:26-10:32

    They don't serve anywhere in the church, or if they do, it's just minimal effort.

    10:34-10:36

    And they don't give, right?

    10:36-10:44

    And occasionally they might, you know, drop $5 in the collection, like I'm gonna give God a tip here, right?

    10:44-10:46

    Like service was good today, God.

    10:47-10:48

    I'm gonna give you a tip.

    10:50-10:52

    And they certainly don't go to small group, right?

    10:52-10:54

    I don't need small group.

    10:58-11:00

    Here's the thing about pew sitters.

    11:01-11:04

    They think that their spiritual gift is criticism.

    11:05-11:06

    And that's not on the list.

    11:08-11:09

    Do you know what pew sitters are like?

    11:12-11:19

    Pew sitters are like those two old Muppets that sat in the balcony.

    11:21-11:21

    (congregation laughing)

    11:21-11:24

    Now, I gotta be honest with you, total transparency here.

    11:25-11:34

    When I was a kid, I always wanted to watch the Muppets, but I absolutely couldn't because I was terrified of those two.

    11:35-11:37

    I was, this is absolutely true.

    11:37-11:38

    I was terrified.

    11:39-11:42

    Statler and Waldorf, I was scared to death.

    11:42-11:45

    And if my family was watching the Muppets, I wouldn't even go in the room.

    11:46-11:49

    I was scared of them, they were so evil to me.

    11:50-11:52

    I mean, think about it.

    11:52-11:55

    They were always off by themselves, right?

    11:56-11:57

    Away from everybody else.

    11:57-11:59

    They were never involved with the rest of them.

    11:59-12:01

    They were detached and by themselves.

    12:02-12:05

    And all they did was laugh at everyone and make fun of them.

    12:05-12:10

    "Oh, oh, look at that, frog and a pig, oh." And it was just like, that is so creepy.

    12:12-12:16

    And I was thinking about them this week because that's what Paul's talking about here.

    12:17-12:18

    That's the idol.

    12:18-12:20

    They don't get involved.

    12:21-12:24

    They just sit back and criticize everything else.

    12:29-12:35

    You see the idol have a problem and it's a problem of the will.

    12:36-12:40

    Write that down because that's gonna be so important here.

    12:41-12:42

    It's a problem of the will.

    12:45-12:54

    These are people that choose to be consumers, not investors in the church.

    12:58-13:06

    So what do we do? What do we do with our Statlers and Waldorf's here? What do we do with them?

    13:07-13:08

    Well, what does he say to do?

    13:10-13:11

    What does he say to do?

    13:11-13:12

    Say it.

    13:13-13:13

    Admonish.

    13:14-13:15

    Like, well, what does that mean?

    13:16-13:27

    Well, the Greek literally means to put some sense into it or instruct about inevitable consequences.

    13:28-13:30

    It just, it means warn them is what it means.

    13:30-13:32

    Just warn them like, hey, hey.

    13:33-13:37

    Another word we would use for that is to give them the Dutch uncle talk.

    13:40-13:42

    Like, hey, you gotta get on board here.

    13:43-13:45

    I noticed you've been coming to church here for a while.

    13:45-13:46

    Where are you serving?

    13:46-13:46

    I'm not really serving.

    13:47-13:47

    Well, why not?

    13:49-13:50

    Are you in a small group?

    13:50-13:51

    No, I don't go to a small group.

    13:51-13:51

    Why don't you?

    13:53-13:54

    Because the church is about relationships.

    13:54-13:55

    You need to get involved.

    13:55-13:56

    You need to get plugged in.

    13:56-13:58

    You need to serve in some way.

    13:59-14:02

    This church is about making disciples, right?

    14:03-14:04

    We're not entertaining.

    14:05-14:12

    We're about making disciples, and we believe that a disciple of Jesus Christ worships Christ, walks with Christ, and works for Christ.

    14:12-14:13

    Are you doing that?

    14:15-14:17

    Well, I'm not really doing it.

    14:17-14:18

    Well, you need to start doing it.

    14:20-14:21

    You need to get involved.

    14:24-14:34

    You know, with this building project, you know, 11 acres or what, up in New Sewickley, You gotta get involved in serving, in giving.

    14:39-14:49

    That's a problem in our culture, and it has been for a while, but we live in a culture where it's just, it's a consumer mentality, right?

    14:49-15:10

    And you look at churches, like you look at, you know, Target versus Walmart versus, you know, Costco, what, it's this consumer mentality that I choose a church based on who has the nicest playground equipment or who serves the best coffee or which service is the shortest, who has the best fog machines.

    15:10-15:17

    And it's just consumer mentality, but it all boils down to what do I like and what do I prefer?

    15:17-15:23

    And we get this mindset that church is this place where I go to receive and it's not.

    15:24-15:26

    Church is a place where you go to give.

    15:26-15:29

    We are all here to give something.

    15:30-15:31

    (congregation laughing)

    15:32-15:34

    See, God gave you gifts.

    15:35-15:39

    And if you're like, man, man, I feel like I'm a puss it or is he talking about me?

    15:39-15:41

    I wanna just encourage you.

    15:42-15:45

    Listen, God gave you a gift to use to serve him.

    15:47-15:49

    God gave you money.

    15:49-15:51

    Are you giving back to him?

    15:53-15:57

    And that's why Paul says, those who are just sitting there, he goes, admonish them.

    15:58-15:59

    Admonish them.

    16:02-16:08

    And that's, this is tough because we by nature prefer to avoid these kinds of conversations, right?

    16:09-16:11

    We prefer to avoid them.

    16:11-16:14

    Well, what if, like what if they get mad at me?

    16:15-16:17

    Well, just think about that for a second.

    16:18-16:26

    What if they get mad at you because you're encouraging them to be serious about their walk with Christ, in the body of Christ?

    16:28-16:29

    Is that unreasonable?

    16:31-16:34

    Like, well, what if they just get mad and go to another church?

    16:34-16:36

    And I would say, well, I hope they don't.

    16:39-16:46

    I really hope that they step up here because reality is if they just go to another church, they're just gonna be lazy there too.

    16:48-16:51

    We're trying to encourage people, look, be a disciple of Christ.

    16:52-16:53

    Step up.

    16:55-16:56

    Be intentional.

    16:58-17:00

    Admonish the idol.

    17:02-17:11

    When we were kids, and you can understand, my mother was just, she was just a music nut.

    17:11-17:15

    She played the piano and she insisted that all of her kids were musicians.

    17:16-17:23

    And I had to tell you that so you understand the gravity of this little illustration.

    17:23-17:31

    but my younger brother was in the band, as we all were, played the same trumpet that got passed down from sibling to sibling.

    17:31-17:32

    Anybody else have the hand-me-down instruments?

    17:35-17:37

    By the time he had it, it looked like it's been through some wars.

    17:38-17:43

    But so he was in the band, and he was just in elementary school.

    17:43-17:45

    He was just, I don't know, fourth grade or whatever.

    17:45-17:45

    He was just a little squirt.

    17:46-17:53

    But one day my mother noticed that he wasn't carrying his trumpet to and from school.

    17:53-18:06

    And she goes, "Why aren't you taking your trumpet?" And he said as nonchalantly as anything, he goes, "Oh, I quit the band." And again, if you knew my mother, she went through the roof.

    18:07-18:08

    She's like, "You quit the band?

    18:08-18:11

    "Well, why'd you quit the band?" Not acceptable, right?

    18:12-18:16

    She goes, "Why did you quit the band?" He goes, "Oh, don't worry.

    18:17-18:27

    "They're doing just fine without me." And you know, some people have that attitude about church.

    18:28-18:33

    You can come here and you can look at the worship team, they go, they wouldn't need me.

    18:35-18:36

    They're doing just fine.

    18:36-18:38

    The worship team does need you.

    18:39-18:42

    You've got a musical talent, step up and use it.

    18:42-18:51

    Or you can look at, you know, whether it's the preaching or the kids ministry or youth group, like, well, looks like they got all their ducks in a row, they don't need me.

    18:51-18:53

    That is so wrong.

    18:53-18:54

    We do need you.

    18:59-19:12

    And I got to think, you know, this whole attitude of getting back to my little brother here, this whole attitude of all the band's doing just fine without me.

    19:12-19:14

    What if everybody in the band had that attitude?

    19:16-19:16

    Right?

    19:17-19:19

    What if everybody in the band was like, well, I'm not important.

    19:21-19:23

    But what if that happened in the church?

    19:24-19:26

    What if everybody in the church was like, well, they don't need me.

    19:30-19:35

    Being part of a family means that you're responsible for contributing to the family.

    19:39-19:41

    You are responsible for what happens here.

    19:43-19:46

    And Paul says the idol need admonished, right?

    19:47-19:49

    Number two, the fainthearted need encouraged.

    19:51-19:54

    The fainthearted need encouraged.

    19:56-20:00

    Now this word fainthearted is an interesting word.

    20:00-20:06

    Literally it means little sold, S-O-U-L-E-D, little sold.

    20:07-20:09

    It's somebody that's worried.

    20:11-20:14

    They're down, they have no joy in their walk.

    20:16-20:18

    Or we would just say that it's somebody that's discouraged.

    20:20-20:26

    They know the promises of God and they desperately wanna believe the promises of God.

    20:28-20:31

    But life circumstances just have them so overwhelmed.

    20:34-20:35

    Maybe they experienced a loss.

    20:37-20:41

    Maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's their finances, maybe it's a health issue.

    20:44-20:46

    Whatever got them there, they're depressed.

    20:47-20:51

    Like, I just want to throw in a towel.

    20:51-20:55

    I am just so done with, I just...

    21:00-21:08

    You see, the idol, we said they have a problem of the will, and the fainthearted have a problem of the emotions.

    21:09-21:12

    These people are just in a bad place emotionally.

    21:12-21:14

    Write that down, problem of the emotions.

    21:16-21:17

    So what do we do with them?

    21:17-21:18

    Well, look at verse 14 again.

    21:18-21:24

    He says, "Encourage the fainthearted." Encourage the fainthearted.

    21:26-21:27

    What does encourage mean?

    21:29-21:31

    Literally, it means speak by coming close.

    21:31-21:34

    That's what that means, speak by coming close.

    21:36-21:38

    And that tells me it's about the relationship.

    21:40-21:45

    You need, when somebody's fainthearted, when somebody's emotionally at the end, what do they need?

    21:45-21:49

    They need you to come and put an arm around them and say, "Hey, hey, it's okay.

    21:50-21:51

    We're gonna get through this.

    21:52-21:56

    It's all right." You're gonna cheer them on.

    21:57-21:59

    And I would say this, please hear me.

    22:00-22:03

    Never, ever discount somebody's feelings.

    22:05-22:12

    When somebody's like, you know, I'm feeling sad for whatever, Never be like, you shouldn't feel sad.

    22:14-22:15

    You can't help how you feel.

    22:16-22:19

    Feelings are just, they're just feelings.

    22:20-22:21

    You can't help that.

    22:26-22:28

    So how do you encourage them?

    22:30-22:31

    Encourage them how?

    22:32-22:33

    Well, how about a scripture?

    22:34-22:43

    Maybe say something like, you know something from God's word that's really encouraged me, and then share something that God has used to lift your spirits when you've been there.

    22:44-22:49

    Maybe that, or maybe say, you know what, can we just stop and pray right now about that?

    22:49-22:50

    Let's just stop for a second.

    22:51-22:55

    Can we just right now give this over to God and stop and pray for them on the spot?

    22:57-23:11

    But you know what I think is almost as big as even scripture and prayer when it comes to fulfilling the command to encourage, is just your presence with them.

    23:13-23:16

    To say, look, I'm with you, it's okay.

    23:18-23:22

    Whatever's happening, I'm gonna be right there with you.

    23:24-23:27

    Some people just need to know that they're not alone.

    23:28-23:32

    So the faint-hearted, they need encouraged.

    23:34-23:39

    And then number three, write this down, the weak need help.

    23:42-23:44

    You're like, where did you come up with that, Pastor Jeff?

    23:44-23:50

    Well, look at verse 14, he says, "Help the weak." That's, I know, I know.

    23:51-23:52

    I spent a lot of time on that one.

    23:54-23:55

    Help the weak.

    23:57-23:59

    We're laughing, but look, it's so simple.

    24:01-24:02

    We're like, well, what's weak?

    24:02-24:03

    What does that mean?

    24:03-24:05

    Weaker people that are susceptible to sin.

    24:07-24:16

    It's talking, the weak here is referring to people that sort of fall into the same sin over and over.

    24:16-24:17

    Do you know anybody like that?

    24:17-24:20

    Don't point, but you know anybody like that?

    24:20-24:28

    It's like, we just dealt with this like Thursday and we're back in the ditch again, upside down with the wheels spinning.

    24:28-24:37

    Like again, they just keep falling into the same sin, Same destructive habits, patterns over and over.

    24:38-24:43

    Some people, they just get stuck and they just can't break it.

    24:45-24:48

    Maybe it's overspending.

    24:48-24:51

    I know I don't have the money for that, but I just can't seem to help it.

    24:53-24:55

    Maybe it's overeating.

    25:00-25:01

    Maybe it's losing your temper.

    25:04-25:07

    Maybe it's looking at stuff on the computer that you shouldn't be looking at.

    25:09-25:14

    Maybe it's addiction to a chemical of some kind.

    25:15-25:23

    Whatever. But for the weak, you know, we said the idol had a problem of the will and the faint-hearted have a problem of the emotions.

    25:23-25:26

    For the weak, it's a problem of the spirit. They're in bondage to sin.

    25:28-25:30

    They're in bondage to sin.

    25:32-25:33

    (clears throat)

    25:34-25:35

    So what do you do for them?

    25:37-25:37

    What do you do for them?

    25:38-25:43

    Well, he says very clearly, help the weak.

    25:47-25:49

    What does that mean, help them?

    25:49-25:52

    It just means pick them up.

    25:52-25:54

    That's what that means, pick them up.

    25:58-26:03

    meaning this, give real help.

    26:06-26:10

    Real help, not what we typically do in church world.

    26:11-26:12

    I'll pray for you.

    26:13-26:14

    We say that to them, right?

    26:14-26:15

    I'll pray for you.

    26:15-26:18

    And in the back of my mind, we're thinking, I'll pray for you.

    26:19-26:22

    And I hope that you never bring this up to me again, right?

    26:26-26:27

    Yes, pray.

    26:27-26:30

    Yes, absolutely pray, pray on the spot, right?

    26:30-26:31

    Let's pray right now.

    26:32-26:34

    But they need more than that.

    26:36-26:38

    They need help.

    26:38-26:40

    They need a plan to get unstuck.

    26:41-26:42

    Like, well, what does that mean?

    26:42-26:44

    That means counseling and accountability.

    26:45-26:46

    That's what that means.

    26:47-27:06

    And listen, if you're dealing with somebody like this and you're like, man, I'm not sure the best way to help them, then you need to talk to one of our pastors or elders, or maybe talk to that person and say, "Hey, I'm gonna go with you "to talk to one of the pastors or elders." But you're stuck and you need help.

    27:08-27:15

    Not just the, "I hope it'll get better next week," or, "I'll pray for you, let me know in a month how it goes." You need real help.

    27:15-27:19

    You need a plan to get unstuck.

    27:19-27:21

    That's what counseling is.

    27:24-27:41

    This is what Paul was talking about in Galatians 6, 1, when he says, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness." Like, wait, wait, wait, hang on a second.

    27:44-27:49

    What's the difference between the weak and the idle?

    27:49-27:51

    I mean, they're both in sin, right?

    27:52-27:55

    So what's the difference between these two?

    27:55-27:57

    And the answer is the will.

    27:57-27:58

    That's the difference.

    27:59-28:05

    You see, these people want to get to a better place.

    28:08-28:20

    The difference is the idle are choosing to sin while the weak are struggling with sin and want out.

    28:21-28:23

    That's why you have to handle them differently.

    28:25-28:32

    And some people need you to give them a real plan of escape.

    28:34-28:34

    The weak need help.

    28:38-28:40

    You're like, what was this sermon series about again?

    28:41-28:45

    Number four, you need discernment.

    28:50-28:51

    You need discernment.

    28:53-28:55

    Did you ever hear that old expression?

    28:56-28:57

    I'm sure you have.

    28:57-28:58

    Did you ever hear that old expression?

    28:58-28:59

    If you're only tools, a hammer.

    29:00-29:00

    How's the rest of that go?

    29:02-29:03

    If you're only tools, a hammer, you what?

    29:04-29:06

    You treat every problem like a nail, right?

    29:09-29:13

    And that's how a lot of ministry happens in the church.

    29:15-29:17

    Is people are like, well, you know what?

    29:17-29:19

    I'm an admonisher, man.

    29:19-29:20

    I just Dutch uncle.

    29:20-29:22

    I just tell it to people straight.

    29:22-29:28

    And they treat every problem like a nail, and that doesn't work.

    29:31-29:33

    There's some people, they're like, you know what?

    29:33-29:46

    I'm really good at just helping people, and they just wanna try to help everyone, when some people don't really need counseling, they need a kick.

    29:49-29:55

    but you can't see yourself as the hammer because not every problem is a nail.

    29:55-29:58

    You can't have a one size fits all approach.

    29:58-30:01

    And listen, this is where discernment comes in.

    30:03-30:10

    Because here, you notice Paul used some very specific wording here.

    30:11-30:19

    And what he's pointing out under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, what we're learning here is you can't treat every problem the same way.

    30:20-30:21

    Do you know what I mean?

    30:24-30:26

    Because you're gonna run into some problems if you do that.

    30:27-30:33

    Like for example, let's just, we'll move this one aside here.

    30:37-30:39

    What if we did that?

    30:40-30:46

    What if somebody was lazy and we'll help them?

    30:47-30:49

    We're going to give you a plan to help.

    30:49-30:51

    They don't need instructions.

    30:51-30:52

    They know what to do.

    30:53-30:55

    They just refuse to do it.

    30:55-30:56

    So that ain't going to work.

    30:56-30:57

    What about the faint hearted?

    30:57-31:00

    What about the person that's super discouraged?

    31:00-31:04

    And we come along and we want to admonish them, knock it off.

    31:04-31:05

    You shouldn't feel that way.

    31:05-31:07

    You're making everybody else feel bad.

    31:07-31:09

    We don't like your negativity.

    31:09-31:10

    Knock it off.

    31:11-31:12

    What?

    31:14-31:16

    We're encouraging the weak.

    31:17-31:19

    Somebody's stuck in sin.

    31:19-31:20

    They can't break the habit.

    31:20-31:22

    We just put an arm around them.

    31:22-31:33

    We're like, "Here, there, everything's gonna be okay." And you walk away and they're like, "Things are not okay because I'm still stuck." You see, that doesn't work, does it?

    31:35-31:37

    We could shuffle the deck again, right?

    31:37-31:39

    Just move everyone down a floor.

    31:40-31:41

    All right, put him up a floor.

    31:43-31:44

    Does that work?

    31:45-31:47

    That doesn't work either.

    31:49-31:51

    That doesn't work either, does it?

    31:51-32:01

    When somebody's idle, when they're not stepping up and they need to, well, we're just gonna put an arm around them, hey, it's okay, we'll be lazy together.

    32:03-32:05

    I'll be the Waldorf to your Statler.

    32:07-32:08

    That doesn't work.

    32:10-32:11

    They need a firmer hand.

    32:12-32:20

    Or like somebody's pain hearted, somebody's emotionally struggling, they're against the help.

    32:20-32:22

    Hey, you shouldn't feel that way.

    32:23-32:24

    You shouldn't feel sad.

    32:24-32:26

    Let me tell you why you shouldn't feel sad.

    32:26-32:29

    I'm gonna give you four spiritual principles to not feel sad today.

    32:29-32:32

    Like that's not the problem.

    32:33-32:35

    And you're not gonna help them out of their sadness.

    32:39-32:41

    But this is one you see a lot in the church.

    32:42-32:43

    admonishing the weak.

    32:45-32:51

    I've seen that in this church and please, hear discernment, that's why we're going through this, discernment.

    32:52-33:00

    I've seen it where somebody's weak and they're like, "Man, I am really struggling with this." And then we're just like, how in the world could you be struggling with that?

    33:00-33:02

    Shame on you, you should know better.

    33:03-33:05

    You know what the Bible says, you shouldn't be acting like that.

    33:06-33:13

    You know, think of your wife and your kids, and you should, and we just like lay the hammer down on them Like, I'm coming to you for help.

    33:13-33:15

    I'm confessing that I need help.

    33:15-33:16

    I need you to help me.

    33:16-33:19

    And we're just like kicking them into the dirt.

    33:24-33:26

    So you see, that doesn't work either, does it?

    33:27-33:31

    So maybe, just maybe, this is what I think.

    33:33-33:48

    I think maybe the Holy Spirit knew something when he said, "This is specifically how you should minister to people." You're like, "Well, how do I know?

    33:49-33:54

    How do I know?" This is where discernment comes in.

    33:54-33:56

    This is where you need to ask yourself some questions.

    33:57-34:01

    You need to, when somebody has a problem, this is what we do in counseling.

    34:01-34:03

    You need to ask yourself, is this a rebellion issue?

    34:05-34:06

    Is this some kind of a rebellion issue?

    34:07-34:09

    They know what to do and they're, I'm not doing that.

    34:09-34:11

    Well, we got a problem of the will.

    34:12-34:13

    Is it an emotional issue?

    34:15-34:17

    Their emotions are just kind of ruling them right now.

    34:18-34:20

    Okay, then maybe they're in the faint hearted category.

    34:23-34:24

    They in bondage of some kind.

    34:24-34:30

    Well, if they are, if there's some sin habit they can't break, then they're in the weak category.

    34:33-34:39

    And if you don't use discernment, Listen, you're not going to help anyone.

    34:40-34:47

    In fact, I would suggest to you, if you're not going to use discernment, you're going to do more harm than good.

    34:51-34:54

    So listen, you aren't a hammer.

    34:55-34:56

    Every problem isn't a nail.

    34:58-35:00

    You and I need discernment.

    35:02-35:08

    And finally, number five, we all need grace.

    35:12-35:13

    We all need grace.

    35:14-35:25

    These last commands are for everybody because I got to deal with your issues and you got to deal with mine.

    35:28-35:31

    So look at verse 14 and 15, the rest of it.

    35:32-35:44

    He says, "Be patient." Be patient with them all.

    35:47-36:02

    Verse 15, "See that no one repays anyone, evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.

    36:04-36:05

    We all need grace.

    36:05-36:08

    Three things are very quickly right, obvious.

    36:08-36:09

    Be patient.

    36:11-36:12

    Be patient.

    36:12-36:17

    Yeah, these three categories are different, right?

    36:18-36:20

    But they all got one thing in common, right?

    36:21-36:24

    They all got one thing in common, and that's this.

    36:27-36:28

    They all need patience.

    36:31-36:35

    They can bother, they can annoy, they can frustrate.

    36:35-36:52

    And I just want to encourage you in the Lord, take a deep breath and remember that we all need patience and we all require patience.

    36:54-36:56

    Let her be, be merciful.

    37:00-37:13

    Be merciful. Paul reminds us, see that no one repays anyone evil for evil. Right? Sometimes you get hurt in the church. Have you noticed? You don't want it to happen, but it does.

    37:14-37:22

    There's slander, there's accusations, there's insults, and the way of the world, the way of the flesh is to retaliate.

    37:23-37:25

    You hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you back.

    37:27-37:30

    You know, paybacks are not our responsibility.

    37:34-37:36

    Do you trust God to handle that?

    37:37-37:40

    God said he would handle that, right?

    37:41-37:42

    Do you believe God?

    37:44-37:45

    Well, then you be merciful.

    37:47-37:49

    And lastly, do good.

    37:53-38:01

    Look for ways to love people, regardless if they deserve it.

    38:03-38:05

    You're like, regardless if they deserve it?

    38:06-38:06

    Yeah.

    38:07-38:08

    Do you know what that's called?

    38:09-38:09

    It's called grace.

    38:10-38:11

    Have you heard of that?

    38:13-38:14

    Do you know what grace is?

    38:16-38:33

    Grace is when a rebellious self-centered sinner has chosen a path to hell over acknowledging his holy God.

    38:35-38:46

    And God sends his son to die in the place of that rebel and to raise from the dead, to take away sin and to give the promise of eternal life.

    38:46-38:47

    That's grace.

    38:47-38:52

    And we should be people that are familiar with the concept.

    38:53-38:59

    And that's why we should be looking to do good to one another.

    39:02-39:11

    I don't know, it kind of cracked me up a little bit because I imagine there were people that read this and they were like, it says, seek to do good to one another.

    39:11-39:17

    And it's like, well, surely if Paul knew my experience, "No, he doesn't mean so-and-so.

    39:18-39:28

    "I love this last race." He goes, "And to everyone." Just in case you're looking for some little loophole, everyone gets grace.

    39:28-39:31

    You're the Oprah of grace, okay?

    39:32-39:38

    Grace for you and grace for you, and everyone in attendance today at Harvest Bible Chapel gets grace.

    39:43-39:45

    our worship team would make their way back up.

    39:47-39:51

    Just want to remind you that we're all works in progress.

    39:53-40:08

    And we've all, at one point or another in our walks, we've all been here to some degree for some amount of time.

    40:08-40:09

    We've all been there.

    40:12-40:20

    And someone has been patient and merciful and good to us.

    40:23-40:24

    We all need grace.

    40:26-40:36

    We need discernment, not just in our personal walks, we need discernment in dealing with people.

    40:40-40:43

    like, well, man, what if I fail?

    40:45-40:54

    Well, I want to encourage you by saying the only way you would really fail is if you just gave up on someone.

    40:57-41:01

    People have problems, so let's meet them where they are.

    41:03-41:36

    Let's love them in the Lord, and let's discern the right way to get them back on track. Let's pray. Father in heaven, we thank you again for your word, because so often we are so foolish and so just wayward. We insist on and doing things our way.

    41:38-41:46

    God, I thank you for this body of believers that you have assembled here and that you are growing here.

    41:47-41:59

    And I just ask, Father, for my brothers and sisters that through patience and mercy and grace, we would learn to use discernment to best meet people where they need met.

    42:01-42:03

    Father, we can't do this without the wisdom from your word.

    42:03-42:11

    We can't do this if your Holy Spirit isn't at work in our hearts with your word.

    42:13-42:21

    So again, Father, have us be faithful unto you and faithful to each other.

    42:23-42:25

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. How can you tell the difference between the idle, the fainthearted, and the weak?

  3. How can you specifically carry out the command to admonish someone in the church who is just attending and watching, but not getting involved (v14)? What would you say to that person?

Breakout
Pray for one another.

The Lost Art of Discernment. What is Best?

Introduction:

Philippians 1:9-11

1 Corinthians 6-8-10 Principle: Five Questions to Ask To Make the Best Decision in a "Grey Area":

  1. Is it Permissible ? (1 Cor 6:12)

    1 Corinthians 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful.
    "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be dominated by anything.

  2. Is it Beneficial ? (1 Cor 6:12)

    1 Corinthians 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful.
    "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be dominated by anything.

  3. Could it get me under its Power ? (1 Cor 6:12)

    1 Corinthians 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful.
    "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be dominated by anything.

  4. Could it cause a brother to Stumble ? (1 Cor 8:12-13)

    1 Corinthians 8:12-13 - Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

  5. Is it Glorifying to God? (1 Cor 10:31)

    1 Corinthians 10:31 - So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Intentional Wisdom: The Lost Art of Discernment. What is Best?
Jeff Miller
  • 00:48-00:56

    My baby boy is 18 now, but when he was in preschool, I never thought he would make it this far.

    00:58-01:04

    When he was in preschool, he came up every day with reasons why he couldn't go to preschool.

    01:05-01:07

    You got somebody like that in your home?

    01:08-01:13

    He would say things like, "I can't go to preschool today." Why not?

    01:13-01:14

    It burned down.

    01:15-01:16

    (congregation laughing)

    01:21-01:24

    I can't go to preschool today, why not?

    01:25-01:26

    Oh, they canceled it.

    01:26-01:34

    Oh, there was a little bit of a problem with these things he came up with.

    01:34-01:36

    I was in charge of the preschool.

    01:39-01:43

    And I think if it would have burned down, somebody would have told me.

    01:45-01:48

    But there was a season, it was a daily struggle, daily.

    01:51-01:59

    And one day I was driving him to preschool, we're on 422 heading to Butler, and all of a sudden I hear,

    02:00-02:01

    (imitates car engine revving)

    02:02-02:13

    I said, "What was that?" He said, "My pants ripped." I pulled over and turned around.

    02:13-02:17

    He had the jeans that had little holes in them.

    02:17-02:23

    He took them and (imitates ripping) completely ripped them top to bottom.

    02:25-02:30

    So I called Aaron and I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

    02:30-02:33

    Because you know what's gonna happen if I bring him home.

    02:34-02:36

    He's gonna rip them pants every day.

    02:39-02:40

    But I can't take him to preschool.

    02:42-02:43

    (audience laughing)

    02:43-02:45

    Looking like the Incredible Hulk.

    02:47-02:50

    I'm like, what can I, what am I supposed to do here?

    02:54-02:58

    My wife, brilliant as always, she said, I get an idea.

    02:58-03:06

    She said, there's actually a load of clothes that the kids outgrew that I put in the trunk to take to Goodwill.

    03:08-03:09

    Get him a pair of pants out of those.

    03:11-03:12

    So that's what I did.

    03:12-03:19

    I got in the trunk and I got him a pair of pants that he outgrew and he went to preschool that day, walking around.

    03:21-03:23

    He looked like Kramer from Seinfeld.

    03:25-03:28

    And do you know he never ripped a pair of pants after that?

    03:31-03:35

    But you know, he didn't think it through.

    03:37-03:42

    He made, shall we say, not a great choice.

    03:44-03:45

    And he learned.

    03:46-03:50

    And right now we're in this series on discernment.

    03:51-03:57

    And I hope that we are learning because we're talking about growing in your walk.

    03:58-04:03

    We're talking about growing in maturity and your walk with Christ, your sanctification.

    04:03-04:08

    And the Bible says, we've already covered that, That means you have to grow in discernment.

    04:08-04:09

    You have to.

    04:12-04:20

    A couple of weeks ago, we talked about discerning the truth and we saw, John told us, don't believe everything you hear.

    04:21-04:22

    You've got to test everything.

    04:24-04:27

    And last week we talked about discerning God's will.

    04:27-04:31

    Does God have a secret path for me to be on?

    04:31-04:33

    No, no, no, it doesn't work that way.

    04:33-04:35

    The Bible tells us to be a living sacrifice.

    04:35-04:37

    Don't be conformed to the ways of the world.

    04:37-04:42

    Let the word of God renew our minds so that we're transformed.

    04:43-04:48

    And we necessarily will make choices that honor God.

    04:51-04:52

    But what does that look like?

    04:54-05:03

    How does that process go from just a concept that we sort of introduced last week to actually making that happen?

    05:03-05:08

    How can I make choices that best honor God?

    05:09-05:11

    That's what we're gonna get into today.

    05:12-05:13

    So let's just bow our heads for a moment.

    05:13-05:18

    I'm gonna ask that you would please pray for me to communicate God's word clearly.

    05:19-05:24

    And I will pray for you to receive God's word eagerly.

    05:24-05:25

    Let's pray.

    05:30-05:36

    Father, we've already seen and studied that we need to be transformed by having our minds renewed.

    05:36-05:38

    And I pray that's exactly what happens right now.

    05:40-05:43

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

    05:44-05:48

    Philippians chapter 1, verse 9.

    05:49-06:19

    Paul says, "And it is my prayer that your love may abound more more with knowledge and all discernment." Stop there. Discernment. What does that word discernment mean? Well, the Greek word here for discernment means sharpness of perception.

    06:22-06:30

    You're like, OK, so what am I trying to sharply perceive?

    06:31-06:33

    Well, look at verse 10.

    06:35-06:37

    He says, so that you may approve what is excellent.

    06:40-06:41

    There it is.

    06:43-06:45

    I want you to have discernment so you may approve what is excellent.

    06:45-07:10

    says, "I pray, church, that you are capable of evaluating and determining and choosing the things that are excellent." And I've told you before, and I'm going to tell you again, that is my biggest concern for this church.

    07:11-07:12

    That's why we're doing this series.

    07:13-07:15

    But my biggest concern for this church is discernment.

    07:19-07:27

    And doctrine, first and foremost, of course, that you're not believing everything you hear, but you're testing everything.

    07:27-07:33

    But also my concern for this church and discernment is in the choices that you make.

    07:37-07:41

    Because discernment is knowing the difference between good and evil.

    07:41-07:42

    We talked about that, right?

    07:42-07:49

    Absolutely, you gotta know what's from God and what's not from God.

    07:49-07:58

    Absolutely, but when it comes to making choices, you've noticed that not everything is black and white, is it?

    08:01-08:04

    Much like my closet, there are lots of shades of gray.

    08:06-08:32

    And maturing is growing in not only choosing good over evil, but it's also learning to choose what is best over what is good. Right now somebody's thinking, "Wait, wait, why does it matter?" Well, hang on, hang on a second, Hang on.

    08:35-08:39

    Isn't it just okay to choose what is good?

    08:40-08:43

    Why do I have to be so concerned with choosing what is best?

    08:45-08:48

    Why do I have to shoot for excellence in my choices?

    08:50-08:52

    That's a really good question.

    08:57-09:01

    We'll get the next phrase, because there's your answer.

    09:02-09:15

    It says, "And so be pure and blameless." Why does it matter that I'm seeking to choose what's best over just what's good?

    09:16-09:18

    He says to be pure and blameless.

    09:18-09:21

    Do you realize what he's talking about here?

    09:22-09:23

    Pure and blameless.

    09:23-09:26

    Let me use a couple of other words to describe the concepts here.

    09:27-09:31

    This is about your integrity, and this is about your reputation.

    09:33-09:37

    Pure and blameless, your integrity and your reputation.

    09:38-09:43

    That's why it should matter because those are two things, your integrity and your reputation.

    09:43-09:46

    Those are two things that should matter to you more than anything.

    09:49-09:53

    Now this word for pure, this is a really interesting word in the Greek.

    09:53-09:55

    Do you know what it literally translates to?

    09:58-10:01

    Sun judged, S-U-N, sun judged.

    10:02-10:03

    That's the word for pure.

    10:03-10:05

    Like, what do you mean?

    10:06-10:11

    It's taking something out into the sun to evaluate it.

    10:11-10:15

    Because you see, in those days, you would have merchants that would sell these pots, right?

    10:15-10:22

    And obviously if you're buying a pot, you wanted one that was intact, right?

    10:25-10:44

    But as pots often do, they would break and what the merchants would do is they would take a really fine layer of wax, real tiny layer of wax in the seams of the crack to hold it together so they could sell it that way because you made more money if it was intact.

    10:44-10:49

    And if somebody just came, oh, this is intact, not knowing they just bought a broken pot.

    10:51-11:01

    So how did you know if the pot was intact if it had the wax seal holding it together, it would have to be sun judged.

    11:02-11:09

    You would take it out into the sun and hold it up, and you could see those fine seams.

    11:11-11:16

    Because you wanted to make sure that your pot that you were buying was pure.

    11:16-11:18

    You would say, yeah, it's pure.

    11:19-11:21

    It's been sun judged.

    11:22-11:23

    That's what that means.

    11:24-11:34

    Interestingly, this is where we get the English word "sincere." Do you know what "sincere" literally means?

    11:35-11:36

    It's actually a Latin word.

    11:38-11:43

    But I'm sharing this because it comes from the exact same context.

    11:44-11:46

    The word "sincere" means without wax.

    11:48-12:04

    Because if a dealer had a pot that he knew was intact, wasn't broken, and he wasn't trying to fool anybody by holding it together with wax, he would put a sign in front of that pot that would say this pot is sincere.

    12:05-12:08

    Meaning it's without wax.

    12:13-12:15

    Meaning it is authentic.

    12:17-12:22

    And you're like, all right, okay, Jeff, now I know what to do next time I go to Walmart to buy a pot.

    12:23-12:33

    What's the point? Here's the point. Don't be a phony. That's the point. Don't be a phony.

    12:33-12:51

    Christian, you are a child of God, and that identity should make you concerned about your integrity. The Bible says you're an ambassador of Christ. That should make you concerned about your reputation.

    12:55-12:57

    Don't be a phony. Don't pretend.

    12:58-13:06

    Listen, don't pretend to be one way in church when you are a different way the other six days a week.

    13:08-13:20

    Don't pretend to be one way in here with their Christian friends and then you're another way when you're at work, when you're at school, when you're at home.

    13:22-13:23

    It's about your integrity.

    13:24-13:26

    I heard one preacher this past week put it this way.

    13:26-13:27

    It really stuck with me.

    13:28-13:39

    He said, you know, when you make bread, you can't just throw all the ingredients into a pan and throw it in the oven and pull out bread.

    13:40-13:41

    Doesn't work that way.

    13:42-13:48

    Why not? Because you have to stir the ingredients together, don't you?

    13:51-13:56

    You have to make sure that all of the ingredients are touching each other.

    13:56-14:03

    And in the same way, you need to make sure that every part of your life touches every other part.

    14:04-14:19

    Meaning this, what you believe should be consistent in every single area of your life, at work, at school, at home, at church, it's all the same.

    14:21-14:21

    That's integrity.

    14:27-14:28

    You want to be sincere?

    14:30-14:33

    You wanna be not known as a phony?

    14:36-14:38

    Well, this is about the choices that you make.

    14:42-14:45

    You see the flow, look at verses nine and 10, look at the flow.

    14:45-14:54

    He says, Paul's praying that you have knowledge and discernment so that you approve what is excellent so that you're pure and blameless.

    14:54-15:02

    In other words, Paul says, have discernment so that you can make the best choices so that you're sincere, you're authentic.

    15:05-15:06

    It's about your choices.

    15:06-15:12

    And the first choice that you have to make, I will use discernment when I make choices.

    15:15-15:20

    And I will evaluate my choices, not just simply in terms of what's right and what's wrong.

    15:23-15:27

    I'm shooting for what is excellent.

    15:28-17:13

    I'm shooting for what is best. And if for some reason your integrity and your reputation, if those things aren't enough motivation for you to be concerned about making the best choices, we'll give you another one. Look at the text. He says, for the day of Christ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. There's your motivation. We want to be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. Someday you're going to stand before Jesus Christ. And the only thing that's going to matter on that day is your sincerity. Meaning this, you might trick us into thinking that you know Jesus Christ, but you haven't fooled Him. And on that day, on that day, don't you want to be able to say, "I love you, Lord. I received the gift of salvation that you've given through your death and your resurrection. I received that. And Jesus, you saw how I sincerely tried to honor you by the choices that I made.

    17:17-17:19

    That's why discernment is so important.

    17:23-17:28

    But as we said earlier, you're going to face things that are gray areas.

    17:30-17:32

    You're gonna face things that, you know what?

    17:32-17:37

    The Bible doesn't specifically address this thing.

    17:37-17:41

    How do I make the best decision?

    17:41-17:44

    The gray areas is what we're talking about here, right?

    17:45-17:50

    Situations where it's hard to tell what is right.

    17:53-17:55

    We gotta be clear, we're talking about gray areas here.

    17:56-18:01

    We're not talking about issues of, should I steal from work?

    18:02-18:05

    Oh no, the Bible's pretty clear about that one.

    18:05-18:14

    Or, "Hey, I received Jesus. Should I get baptized?" That's not an issue because the Bible's very clear about that.

    18:15-18:17

    Yes, we are commanded to be baptized in response.

    18:18-18:22

    Or, "I'm facing kind of a gray area, Pastor Jeff.

    18:22-18:27

    Is it okay to murder my boss?" Like, no, no, that's not a gray area at all.

    18:30-18:43

    We're talking about areas that don't have a book, chapter and verse that I could take you to and say, "Well, you absolutely should make this choice "because of what God clearly said here." You hear these all the time.

    18:43-18:45

    Maybe some of you are struggling with them right now.

    18:48-18:50

    Maybe for some it's like, "Well, is it okay?

    18:52-18:54

    "Is it okay for me to drink alcohol occasionally?

    18:54-19:00

    "I mean, I know what the Bible says about drunkenness, "but what if I occasionally drink alcohol "and I don't get drunk?

    19:03-19:12

    "Is it okay for me to smoke cigarettes?" The Bible doesn't specifically say, "Thou shalt not smoke 'em if you got 'em," or whatever.

    19:16-19:18

    Is it okay to listen to secular music?

    19:26-19:29

    Is it okay to buy lottery tickets?

    19:31-19:40

    I mean, the Bible doesn't say, Thou shalt keep on scratching, whatever that weasel says on those commercials.

    19:43-19:50

    And you're like, "Hang on, hang on, Jeff. Doesn't the church have..." What, it's not a weasel?

    19:51-19:52

    What is it?

    19:53-19:54

    Oh, it's a groundhog.

    19:55-19:58

    Well, I guess that makes more sense.

    19:59-19:59

    (congregation laughing)

    20:05-20:06

    Not a zoologist.

    20:06-20:07

    (congregation laughing)

    20:09-20:11

    I have groundhogs in my yard.

    20:11-20:12

    They don't wear shirts and play the lottery.

    20:13-20:14

    (congregation laughing)

    20:16-20:17

    Well, you might be like, hang on, Jeff.

    20:18-20:22

    Doesn't the church have rules about these things, these gray areas?

    20:22-20:23

    Doesn't the church have rules?

    20:24-20:27

    And my answer to you is absolutely not.

    20:28-20:28

    Do you know why?

    20:29-20:31

    Because that is called legalism.

    20:31-20:39

    If I start giving you the list of rules of here's what you can do and here's what you can't do, when it's things that are not covered in God's word, that is legalism.

    20:39-20:45

    We absolutely do not have rules about those things because these things are matters of conviction.

    20:49-20:50

    So what do you do?

    20:52-20:56

    How do you take principles from God's word to make the best choices?

    20:58-21:03

    I just want to share with you today something that my pastor, Pastor Bob taught me many years ago.

    21:03-21:07

    I've heard him teach us and it always stuck with me and I want to commend this to you.

    21:08-21:19

    But on your outline, the first Corinthians six, eight, 10 principle, when you're facing a gray area, here's five questions to ask to make the best decision in a gray area.

    21:20-21:25

    All right, we'll have the verses on the screen for you, but I encourage you to take some notes.

    21:26-21:32

    we're gonna be jumping out of Philippi into the Corinthian culture.

    21:34-21:36

    Now the Corinthian church had a lot of issues.

    21:36-21:37

    Have you read those letters?

    21:37-21:39

    They had a lot of issues.

    21:40-21:48

    But you know, one scenario they faced was this, should I eat meat that was sacrificed to an idol?

    21:52-21:58

    That's really not a great area I've had to counsel people on, but let me catch us up to speed here.

    21:59-22:10

    The Greeks and the Romans, the pagans, the pagan Greeks and Romans, they believed that there were evil spirits everywhere.

    22:10-22:20

    And they had this really goofy belief that what these evil spirits would do is possess animals that were to be eaten.

    22:22-22:27

    And then when you ate the animal, That was how the evil spirit got inside you.

    22:29-22:29

    All right?

    22:30-22:32

    So they had this belief.

    22:32-22:34

    Well, that meat's got, maybe that meat has an evil spirit.

    22:34-22:37

    And if I eat it, now the evil spirit's gonna live in me.

    22:37-22:45

    So what they would do is they would sacrifice that animal to their gods, their Mickey Mouse pantheon of gods.

    22:45-22:47

    They would sacrifice the animal to the gods.

    22:48-22:53

    And they believed that that got the evil spirit out of the steak.

    22:54-22:56

    Well, then they would have their pagan festivals.

    22:57-23:07

    They'd have their big pagan parties where they would eat this meat that has now been freshly exercised, but whatever they didn't eat at their parties would end up down at the market.

    23:09-23:20

    And everybody knew, yeah, that meat was sacrificed to a pagan god, and now they're selling it.

    23:21-23:28

    So the issue the Corinthian church faced was this, is it okay for Christians to eat that kind of meat?

    23:31-23:32

    And there were two camps.

    23:35-23:51

    You had people that came out of that background, maybe they were pagans that came to Christ and they knew all of this stuff and they didn't want anything to do with the old lifestyle, the old pagan lifestyle.

    23:51-23:52

    So they were like, "You can't eat that.

    23:53-23:54

    No, no, no, no, no, you can't eat that.

    23:55-23:56

    Do you know what that was used for?

    23:57-23:59

    That was used for pagan worship.

    23:59-24:01

    You can't eat that.

    24:02-24:08

    Like if you're a believer in Jesus Christ, you shouldn't have anything to do with that." That was one camp.

    24:09-24:16

    And then you had another camp that was like, "Look, a hamburger is a hamburger.

    24:17-24:19

    The boogeyman doesn't live in the hamburger.

    24:20-24:22

    It's just meat, like, come on.

    24:23-24:25

    So you had these two camps.

    24:27-24:27

    So what do you do?

    24:27-24:28

    What do you do?

    24:28-24:33

    Because again, again, there's not a, thus saith the Lord on that.

    24:35-24:36

    So what do I do?

    24:39-24:40

    Paul talks a lot about this.

    24:42-24:43

    Gives us some principles here.

    24:44-24:45

    Encourage you to write this down.

    24:45-24:49

    I encourage you to keep these notes.

    24:50-24:59

    Stash them in your Bible, because when you're facing a gray area, this will help you make the decision that honors the Lord.

    25:01-25:01

    All right?

    25:03-25:06

    Five questions, principles drawn from 1 Corinthians.

    25:06-25:09

    Number one, first question you have to ask is this, is it permissible?

    25:11-25:14

    This thing that I want to do, this gray area, is it permissible?

    25:15-25:20

    That comes from 1 Corinthians 6, 12, where Paul says, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful.

    25:21-25:26

    All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything.

    25:28-25:30

    I wanna focus on the phrase, all things are lawful for me.

    25:30-25:39

    And see that came up a couple of times and many scholars believe, and I lean this way as well, that that was actually a slogan that they threw around.

    25:39-25:43

    It was something that the Christians said, I'm free in Christ.

    25:44-25:45

    So everything's permissible for me.

    25:45-25:49

    I can do anything that I want because I'm free in Christ.

    25:49-25:52

    And I know Christians like that, even until today.

    25:52-25:55

    I can do whatever I want because I'm free in Christ.

    25:57-26:07

    And I would say this, yes, it is true that if you are truly saved, there is nothing you can do to lose your salvation.

    26:09-26:09

    That is true.

    26:11-26:13

    But do you know what else is true?

    26:14-26:20

    is freedom is never an excuse to sin.

    26:24-26:35

    And according to God's word, we are called to submit to God, obviously, but also we are called to submit to the governing authorities.

    26:36-26:47

    So long as the government does not command us or mandate us to sin, to do something God forbids or to not do something God commands.

    26:47-26:53

    So long as the government isn't calling us to sin, biblically we are to submit to the governing authorities.

    26:54-26:59

    So the first question you have to ask yourself in a gray area is this, is it permissible?

    27:01-27:03

    Would the Bible allow this?

    27:03-27:06

    And is it legal according to our laws?

    27:07-27:09

    Is this permissible?

    27:09-27:10

    That's the first question.

    27:11-27:16

    Second question is, is it beneficial?

    27:20-27:22

    Same verse, all things are lawful for me.

    27:22-27:26

    Look at this next phrase, but not all things are helpful.

    27:27-27:28

    Paul recognized that.

    27:28-27:31

    Not everything is good for me.

    27:33-27:33

    Good for me how?

    27:33-27:35

    Not everything is good for my body.

    27:37-27:43

    This is the body that God has given me to navigate through this life.

    27:44-27:46

    Not everything is good for the health of this body.

    27:46-27:48

    Not everything is good for my mind.

    27:48-27:49

    We talked about that last week.

    27:50-27:52

    You have to keep your mind renewed.

    27:52-27:56

    Not everything is good for my mind.

    27:57-27:58

    And not everything is good for my spirit.

    28:00-28:08

    So the second question you have to ask yourself is, in making this decision, Is it something that's going to be good for me?

    28:10-28:11

    We're gonna say it in the negative.

    28:11-28:15

    Is this something that could be harmful to me in some way?

    28:16-28:18

    Is it beneficial?

    28:22-28:26

    Third question is this, could it get me under its power?

    28:28-28:31

    Same verse, all things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful.

    28:32-28:34

    All things are lawful for me.

    28:35-28:44

    "But I will not be dominated by anything." And that last phrase, "I will not be dominated by anything.

    28:45-28:51

    "Could it get me under its power?" We've spent time talking about addiction of any kind.

    28:52-28:57

    And what addiction really is, ultimately, is a worship disorder.

    28:58-29:04

    Jesus Christ is to have all of your affection and all of your attention.

    29:07-29:12

    And when you have an addiction, something else is getting that.

    29:12-29:13

    It's a worship disorder.

    29:13-29:20

    And for the Christian, we say, I'm not a slave to anything or anyone except Jesus Christ.

    29:21-29:26

    So the third question is, is this something I could get addicted to?

    29:29-29:30

    Could it get me under its power?

    29:33-30:02

    The fourth question is this, "Could it cause a brother to stumble?" And here we jump to 1 Corinthians 8, verses 12 and 13, Paul says, "Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ." Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

    30:03-30:14

    So the fourth question is this, this decision that I'm thinking about making, this gray area, how is my decision going to affect other people?

    30:19-30:21

    Could it be a stumbling block to others?

    30:23-30:25

    And right now, if you're like, who cares?

    30:26-30:28

    I don't care what other people think about me.

    30:28-30:29

    I don't care.

    30:31-30:35

    I would say that's an extremely immature attitude.

    30:37-30:45

    There is nothing godly or wise or loving with an attitude like that.

    30:45-30:46

    Do you see Paul's attitude?

    30:47-30:58

    Again, you had people that came out of this pagan background and they're Christians and they're like, "Oh no, no, you can't eat that, you can't eat that." So what are you gonna do?

    30:58-31:06

    Walk in eating one of these, you know, boogeyman burgers or whatever, and like, "Oh, I'm free in Christ," right in front of this guy?

    31:07-31:10

    That would be like showing up at an AA meeting with alcohol.

    31:11-31:12

    Like, why would you do that?

    31:13-31:25

    Don't you care that somebody struggled in this area and they're trying to get on track and they're walk with Christ, and you're just gonna launch your freedom or whatever?

    31:27-31:36

    Paul's like, look, if I thought for a second that eating meat in front of somebody would cause him to stumble, Paul's like, I'm a vegan.

    31:37-31:39

    As horrible as that is.

    31:44-31:52

    He says, "I'll never eat meat." So could this decision that I'm making hurt a weaker brother or sister?

    31:53-31:55

    Could it cause a brother to stumble?

    31:57-32:01

    And the fifth question is this, is it glorifying to God?

    32:07-32:20

    And there he jumped to 1 Corinthians 10 31, where he says, "So whether you eat or drink, Or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

    32:23-32:26

    That's the last and ultimately most important question.

    32:27-32:30

    Can I do this unto the Lord?

    32:31-32:38

    Can I stop and thank God and praise God and say, "God, this is done to your glory.

    32:39-32:46

    God, I'm doing this to honor you." You do that before you make your decision.

    32:48-32:52

    Can I do this to the glory of God?

    32:58-33:02

    Do you have a gray area that you're struggling with?

    33:04-33:05

    Well, there's your answer.

    33:07-33:08

    I'm not going to tell you what to do.

    33:11-33:16

    You let God's word and God's Holy Spirit bring you to conviction.

    33:20-33:22

    I got a couple of minutes here, let's try it.

    33:22-33:23

    You wanna try it?

    33:25-33:25

    Yeah, let's try it.

    33:26-33:32

    Let's do, we talked about the, we talked about that groundhog playing the lottery, right?

    33:33-33:35

    What about for Christians?

    33:36-33:39

    Is it okay for a Christian to play the lottery?

    33:40-33:45

    And I'm not going to tell you what to do, but let's run it through the test to see what's the best choice.

    33:48-33:48

    Is it permissible?

    33:49-33:50

    Yeah.

    33:51-33:53

    Do you have to be a certain age to play the lottery?

    33:53-33:54

    I probably should have looked that up.

    33:54-33:56

    Don't you have to be a certain age?

    33:56-34:00

    You're not like sending your preschooler with his ripped pants to buy lottery tickets, are you?

    34:02-34:02

    18?

    34:03-34:03

    I don't know.

    34:06-34:09

    OK, so if you're an adult-- I'm talking to the adults now.

    34:09-34:10

    If you're an adult, it is permissible.

    34:11-34:13

    You are legally allowed to buy a lottery ticket.

    34:15-34:16

    Okay, check.

    34:17-34:18

    How about the next question?

    34:18-34:18

    Is it beneficial?

    34:21-34:23

    Is it beneficial for you to play the lottery?

    34:24-34:27

    And you're like, it will be if I win.

    34:30-34:33

    And I'm like, because that happens all the time.

    34:35-34:38

    Lottery is just a tax on people that are bad at math.

    34:38-34:40

    (congregation laughing)

    34:45-34:46

    Is it beneficial?

    34:47-34:48

    Eh.

    34:51-34:55

    I would say no, but you wrestle with the Lord or not yourself.

    34:56-34:59

    How about, we'll go to the next question then.

    35:00-35:01

    Could it get me under its power?

    35:04-35:05

    It's a form of gambling.

    35:07-35:08

    Is gambling addictive?

    35:11-35:13

    Well, I think it is, but that's not even my opinion.

    35:13-35:19

    Do you notice every time they have one of them casino commercials, gambling problem, call this number.

    35:19-35:20

    Like, what?

    35:20-35:26

    Like, you're advertising something, and then you're immediately cutting yourself off at the knees, right?

    35:27-35:28

    Why do they do that?

    35:29-35:30

    Because it's addictive.

    35:30-35:40

    So I would say, hmm, hmm, maybe this is helping me make this decision on if I should buy the lottery ticket.

    35:41-35:44

    What about, could it cause a brother to stumble?

    35:48-35:49

    What do you think?

    35:49-35:50

    Could it cause a brother to stumble?

    35:51-35:58

    If somebody came into your house and you're scratching a lottery ticket, could it cause them to stumble?

    36:03-36:03

    What do you think?

    36:06-36:07

    Yes or no, what do you think?

    36:11-36:14

    Maybe, yeah, maybe if they have a gambling addiction, I don't know.

    36:15-36:16

    Even that is just like, eh.

    36:18-36:20

    Then number five, is it glorifying to God?

    36:24-36:35

    I'll tell you what my conviction is on that, is this absolutely isn't because you're taking God's money that he gave you to try to win more.

    36:39-36:43

    So you see, that kind of helps you make the decision, doesn't it?

    36:45-36:46

    How about another one?

    36:47-36:50

    Is it okay for me to go to the bar with my friends?

    36:51-36:57

    Like, look, my friends are going to the bar, I don't drink, but is it okay for me to go to the bar with my friends?

    36:57-36:58

    Just to hang out with them.

    37:00-37:01

    Be a witness, all that.

    37:02-37:04

    Well, ask the questions.

    37:04-37:05

    Is it permissible?

    37:06-37:07

    Yeah, sure.

    37:08-37:09

    Is there an H for that?

    37:11-37:12

    Yeah, it's permissible.

    37:12-37:16

    As an adult, I am legally allowed to go into a bar.

    37:18-37:19

    Is it beneficial?

    37:20-37:21

    Is it gonna be good for me?

    37:23-37:25

    Is it gonna be helpful for me in any way?

    37:32-37:43

    Well, if I had a problem with drinking, that's going to kind of lead us to another question here but maybe not.

    37:43-37:44

    I don't know.

    37:44-37:46

    Or even if I say, "Okay, you know what?

    37:46-37:50

    It's not going to harm me, so I'm just going to move on." Number three, could it get me under its power?

    37:51-38:06

    Well, if I had a drinking problem and I'm putting myself in a place of temptation, when Jesus told me to pray, lead me not into temptation, see some wisdom maybe in avoiding that, if that's my situation.

    38:09-38:12

    Still kinda on the fence here maybe, right?

    38:12-38:15

    But then you get to number four, could it cause a brother to stumble?

    38:17-38:26

    Hmm, what if I'm involved in like addiction recovery ministry and these guys find out that I'm hanging out at the bar?

    38:29-38:31

    The number five is glorifying to God.

    38:33-38:36

    Like I'm bar hopping in the name of Jesus.

    38:38-38:41

    Again, you gotta come up with the conviction, right?

    38:42-38:43

    What's another area?

    38:43-38:44

    We got a minute, shout one out.

    38:46-38:46

    You got one?

    38:46-38:47

    You got a gray area?

    38:51-38:51

    What's that?

    38:52-38:53

    Dating somebody?

    38:54-38:55

    Can we be more specific?

    39:04-39:11

    Well, I think you absolutely should use that, but I think maybe something more specific would be helpful on answering the questions here.

    39:12-39:13

    Oh, I got a bunch of them here.

    39:14-39:14

    How about this one?

    39:15-39:17

    Is it okay to watch an R-rated movie?

    39:19-39:20

    Is it permissible?

    39:21-39:22

    Yes, if I'm of age.

    39:22-39:23

    Is it beneficial?

    39:24-39:25

    Oh, hmm, hmm.

    39:26-39:29

    What kind of stuff is gonna be pumped into my head here, right?

    39:30-39:31

    Could it get me under its power?

    39:33-39:43

    If I have an addiction for immoral, sensual things, and that's what's being portrayed in the movie, I'm feeding that monkey and I shouldn't.

    39:44-39:48

    Could it cause a brother to stumble if somebody walked in and saw me watching this movie?

    39:49-39:50

    Would I be embarrassed by that?

    39:51-39:57

    Would I be okay with saying, "Hey, sit down and watch this with me." Is this glorifying to God?

    40:01-40:02

    See?

    40:06-40:34

    Any gray area that you face, ask these questions and ask the Holy Spirit to clearly convict you on not just what is right and wrong, but on what's an okay choice, but what's the absolute best choice that I can make.

    40:35-40:38

    I'd like you to bow your heads as the worship team makes their way forward.

    40:40-40:41

    And I just wanna pray over you church.

    40:46-40:48

    The same thing that Paul prayed for the Philippians.

    40:49-41:11

    He said, "It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more." And Father, I echo this and say, God, I pray that this church would be a church of love and forgiveness and brotherly affection and self-sacrificing service and all the things that you've called us to in Agape love.

    41:13-41:17

    Father, I pray that we would grow in love for one another as a church.

    41:20-41:40

    As Paul prayed with knowledge and all discernment, Father, I pray that you would fill the minds, my brothers and sisters here in this church, with the knowledge of your word, and with that, Father, that we would have discernment to be able to approve what is excellent.

    41:43-42:02

    Father, I pray that we wouldn't just fly through doing whatever's in front of us to moment it, but we would stop and evaluate, as your word calls us to do, to test everything, to discern what is the most excellent choice.

    42:04-42:07

    Because, Father, we wanna be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.

    42:07-42:10

    Father, remind us that we are going to stand before you someday.

    42:12-42:14

    And we wanna be people of integrity.

    42:15-42:26

    Not putting on a show, not making people think that we make good decisions when secretly we don't.

    42:29-42:43

    But the power of your Holy Spirit, Father, the wisdom of your word, permeates and saturates every single area of our lives.

    42:45-42:51

    Be glorified, Father, through the choices that your children make.

    42:52-42:54

    We pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Small Group Discussion
Read Philippians 1:9-11 and 1 Cor 6:12, 1 Cor 8:12-13, 1 Cor 10:31

  1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?

  2. Why is it important to discern what is best, not just what is “right and wrong”? See Philippians 1:10.

  3. Name a “grey area” you’ve personally struggled with. How does the 1 Corinthians 6-8-10 principle help you come to a conviction in that area?

Breakout
Pray for one another.


If you are struggling with discernment in the form of an addiction. Check out the 5-part series where the church faces this series need head-on. Don’t hesitate to reach out to the pastors or elders of the church to get help!