Introduction:
Proverbs 26:17 - Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one taking a passing dog by the ears.
Four Reasons I Will Not Be a "Meddler":
- It's Foolish .
Proverbs 18:6 - A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.
- It's Hateful .
Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
- It's Dishonorable .
Proverbs 20:3 - It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
Luke 12:13-14 - Someone in the crowd said to him (Jesus), "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” But he (Jesus) said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?"
- The Lord Hates it!
Proverbs 6:16-19
1 Peter 4:15 - But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.
Why do I want to get involved?
What do I hope to accomplish?
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
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00:43-00:47
Open up your Bibles with me please to Proverbs 1.6.
00:48-00:49
Why are you turning there?
00:49-00:55
You know, I've been in pastoral ministry over 20 years, and there have been times I've had young pastors ask me for some advice.
00:55-01:08
"What's the best piece of advice you can give somebody starting out?" And here it is, "Get a dog." "Well, that doesn't sound very spiritual." Look, look, look, these young pastors, they know pray, they know read the Bible, they know all that, okay?
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They know that. I'm assuming they know that if they're starting out in ministry.
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But I said, "The best advice I can give you is get a dog." And they always say, "Well, why is that the best advice?" And I said, "Because there are going to be days that that dog's going to be the only thing in the world that's happy to see you." It's true.
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And look, I love dogs.
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I love dogs.
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And we have a picture of our dogs up here.
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That's Gordy on the left.
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He's over 10, which in Boxer -- they're both Boxers.
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And in Boxer years, when you're over 10, you're basically living on borrowed time.
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and he's like if Clint Eastwood was a dog.
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That's Gordy.
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And the one on the right, that's Lou.
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He's only about a year old now.
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And they are, I just love them.
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And one of the things I love about them, like I said, some of these are the only things that are happy to see you.
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That's one of the things I just love about dogs is you don't really have to try with dogs because the best I can figure out is anytime I leave the house, I'm assuming what happens is Erin sits down with the dogs.
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When I leave, Erin sits down with the dogs, and she says, boys, your father just left, and he's dead.
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He's never coming back, and you're never going to see him again.
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Because that's the only thing that explains the reaction I get when I do come home.
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Because when I walk in the door, they're like, he's alive!
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He's alive!
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And they're shaking their rear ends, and they're just going to get toys, and they're bringing me toys.
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And this can be if I'm gone for the day at work, and it can be, dog people, can you back me up on this?
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If I go to the end of the driveway and get the mail, and I'm gone for 40 seconds, I come back in with the mail, and they're like, "He's alive, he's alive!" I'm like, "Guys, guys, guys, I wasn't even gone a minute." Well, Proverbs today uses a dog as an illustration in a slightly different way, but it gives us a very valuable life lesson.
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Look at Proverbs 26.17.
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It says, "Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears." Now, when this proverb was written, it didn't have in mind your little precious with the sweater and the bedazzled collar.
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This would have had in view a wild, dangerous dog, the kind that roamed the northern mountain jungle regions of Thailand.
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I told you about that, Justin, didn't I?
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Oh, you already bought your plane ticket, right?
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Okay, yeah, there's wild dogs in Thailand.
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Those are the kind of dogs that were in view when this proverb was written, but I don't recommend grabbing any dog by the ears.
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But today we're going to talk about minding your own business.
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You see a fight?
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You see an argument break out?
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Stay out of it.
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Now look at your Bible.
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This is very specific here.
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It says whoever meddles.
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Medals is the key word.
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Okay?
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Now listen, you've got to make sure you catch this, because if you tune out, you're going to start making up all these arguments in your head through the rest of the sermon. I don't want you to do that.
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Because medals is the key word.
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It's the same word used in chapter 20 and verse 2.
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And in that proverb, there's a warning against provoking the king to anger.
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And here, that same word is used for someone who is sinfully provoked to interfere in something that is not their business.
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It's adopting someone else's offense as their own.
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In other words, this is so important, church, it's about the motive for getting involved.
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It's about the motive for getting involved.
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So as we look at this proverb today, he is not talking about being a peacemaker.
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He's not talking about that.
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You know, if there's a problem at church or at home or at work, and you step in to try to make peace.
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He's not addressing that, okay?
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Actually, in the Bible, the book of Philemon is all about Paul being a peacemaker between two Christian brothers.
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He's not talking about that here.
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He's also not talking about sticking up for somebody who's being abused, okay?
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If you see somebody being abused, you should intervene, you should get involved, you should do what you can to protect the person that is being abused.
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He's not talking about that here.
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This is about the motive of being sinfully provoked.
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You see a quarrel, you see an argument, you see a debate, and it's not your business, but you have to insert yourself into it.
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It's walking by, and you see a fire, and you decide you're going to stop and you're going to throw a little gasoline on the fire.
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That's what he's talking about. It's meddling. It's meddling.
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You see an argument at the workplace, in the break room.
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Your co-workers are in a heated debate about something.
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Just like, "Oh, this is good. I've got to get involved in this." And you stick your nose in. That's what he's talking about.
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You're walking the aisles at Target, and you hear two people in a heated discussion about something.
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You're like, "Well, I can't pass this up because I know something about this topic." And you've got to stick your nose in. That's what he's talking about.
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Or church. You're leaving church and you hear a couple of brothers or sisters here having a heated debate about something.
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Like, "I gotta stop and stick my nose in and get involved in the debate." What's it like when you do that?
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Well, he tells us it's like taking a passing dog by the ears.
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So what happens when you see a dog walk by?
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The dog's minding its own business, but you're not.
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and you just reach down and you grab the dog by the ears and give it a yank and a shake.
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What do you think's gonna happen? Tell me.
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You're gonna get bit, right?
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If you see a dog walk by and you grab his ears, you give him a little shake.
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It's an unprovoked attack.
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And it's absolutely senseless.
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Why would you do that?
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I mean, why in the world would you do that?
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That's the point of this proverb.
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There's some humor there.
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Like, what kind of an idiot sees a dog walking by and just grabs the dog by the ears.
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"Who does that?" And Solomon says, "I'll tell you who does that." The same kind of idiot that sees an argument between two people, "I'd better stick my nose in this." It's senseless.
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Nothing good comes from that.
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You deserve to get bitten.
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Nothing good comes from inserting yourself into a fight that's not your business.
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Not only nothing good comes from it, but you can end up getting hurt yourself.
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You're like, "That's right. That's right.
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Preach it, Pastor Jeff." Well, hang on, because in our day, it's easier than ever to stick your nose in other people's business.
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It's called social media.
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And there's even a name for it.
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Now, I don't know if this name is still a trendy thing.
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Justin, maybe you can back me up on this.
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Trolling, the kids still use the word trolling.
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Totally, it's totally rad.
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Samuel, the kids still use the word trolling.
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Yes, okay, you've got a second.
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All right, if you don't know what trolling is, Justin and Samuel back me up on this.
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If you know what trolling is, trolling is when you get online, you get on Facebook and you see a thread, a discussion about something, an argument, a debate, a discussion, and you butt in with a comment for the sole purpose of getting a reaction out of people, that's trolling.
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Like I'm going to say something that I know is going to tick people off, that's trolling.
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Get on Facebook and look at the comments on a news story.
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I do this sometimes for this very reason.
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I'll get a notification like WPXI is reporting on this.
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And I get on the news story just to read the comments.
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Because when you go through the comments, you always see this parade of people coming through the comments ready to just grab the dog by the ears.
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And it's just so easy to get caught up in it and to join the fight.
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I mean, you get online and you see a discussion on vaccinations and autism.
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Oh, I got to comment on this.
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or you see a video about an interaction between a policeman and a citizen.
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Like, I got to comment on this.
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There's an article about Republicans or Democrats, diet and fitness, breastfeeding, whatever it is.
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I got an opinion and I got to get in this fight because they need to be set straight.
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And we don't even recognize that we're grabbing the dog by the ears because with social media, you think that everything's your business, right?
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It's all my business.
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everything from correcting somebody's grammar and spelling to fueling racism.
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It's so easy to become the keyboard warrior.
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You just jump in, you type your little comment, you take swings, grabbing the dog by the ears.
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Why do we do that?
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I mean, it's obvious that so many people do that, but the question is why?
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And I get to be honest with you, that was a question that I really struggled with.
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Like, why in the world do we do this?
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What keeps us from minding our own business?
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Why do we feel the need to insert ourselves?
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Why do we feel the need to provoke someone to further anger?
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I think for some people, they think it's their job to set people straight, right?
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Like they see the thread and they're like, these people are obviously all fools.
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I'm going to tell them what's up.
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It's my job to set them straight.
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I think some people just want attention.
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I'll show them how much I know.
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Oh, I bet this comment is really gonna tick a lot of people off and get a lot of likes and responses or whatever.
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I think for some people it's just lack of impulse control, right?
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You see the comment, you don't stop and think, "Should I get involved?" It's just like, boom, like not even like stopping to think about it.
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I'm just going to jump in there.
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Don't think, just react.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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But some people seem to live for this.
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Some people seem to live for this.
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They seem to be on social media like 20 hours a day just looking for these ways they can grab dogs by the ears.
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And I'm just like, "Don't you have anything better to do?" Like, is all the laundry done at your house? Are all the dishes done?
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Like, what kind of time do you have on your hands that you're just looking for dogs on Facebook to grab by the ears?
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Right now, you're kind of nudging the person besides you, and you're like, "Pagans, am I right?" I mean, those pagans, they sure know how to get online and act like pagans!
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Pagans gotta... Pagan, right?!
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Well, actually, according to one Barna poll that I read this week, do you know that Christians fight more online than non-Christians do?
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Shame on 'em! Shame on us!
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Well, since we saw it's a motive issue, remember the Hebrew word?
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He's not talking about being a peacemaker.
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He's talking about somebody that's provoked to provoke.
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Let's look at four reasons to mind your own business.
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to not go looking for a fight, to not be a meddler.
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So in your outline, four reasons I will not be a meddler.
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Number one, it's foolish.
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It's foolish.
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Proverbs 18.6 says, "A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating." It's just foolish.
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It's senseless.
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It's as senseless as grabbing a dog by the ears.
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And only a fool walks into a fight.
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But it takes a very special brand of fool, a very special kind of fool, to walk into a fight that's not even his.
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It's foolish. It's not only foolish, number two, jot this down, it's hateful.
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Okay? It's hateful. Not only foolish, it's hateful.
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Proverbs 10.12 says, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." And last week, we saw wisdom is overlooking offenses, right?
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We saw Proverbs 19.11, "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, but it is His glory to overlook an offense.
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So wisdom overlooks offenses, but this is sort of the other side of the coin, because while love covers or overlooks offenses, it's hatred that's looking to stir up strife.
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And a heart that wants to jump in and inflame a quarrel, especially when it's not your business, is motivated by hate, according to the one who knows your heart.
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Okay, so if you do that, if you're constantly looking to troll, if you're constantly sticking your nose in other people's business, you aren't loving people.
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You just aren't loving people when you want to escalate a fight that they're in.
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It's hateful.
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Number three, jot this down, it's dishonorable.
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Look at Proverbs 20.3, it says, "It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling." See the contrast.
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Fools are anxious to jump into a quarrel, but an honorable person, he just stays away.
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He says, "It's not my circus. Those aren't my monkeys. I'm staying away from it." He knows it's honorable to stay out of it. Why is it honorable to stay out of it?
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I want you to just think about something, a few things here.
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First of all, the honorable person says, "You know what? Maybe I don't have all the facts.
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When I jump in and I'm going to set people straight, maybe I don't have all the facts.
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Maybe I'm not the world's expert on whatever political, medical, social issue this is.
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Maybe I'm not the ultimate authority in this issue.
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Maybe I don't have all the facts.
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So I'm just going to stay out of it.
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Or maybe I don't know the back story that's prompting these people to fight.
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The honorable person says, "You know what?
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Even if I jump in and even if I prove my point, and even if I show everybody that I'm right, what did I really gain?
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What did I gain from that?
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It's an honor for a man to keep a loof from strife.
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And the honorable person also knows, not only is it honorable to stay out of it, he knows that harm comes from jumping in.
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Remember we saw the proverb, "You grab the dog by the ears, you're going to get bit." You get hurt when you get involved in a quarrel, not sure of it.
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And you're like, "Well, how in the world can you get hurt?" I'm going to give you a few ways you can get hurt.
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Number one, you can hurt your reputation.
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You can hurt your reputation, right?
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People are going to start seeing you as a contentious person.
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Is that how you want to be known?
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Don't invite him, he's contentious.
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Doesn't matter what you say, doesn't matter what anybody's talking about, he's going to jump in.
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How else can harm come from jumping in?
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I can ruin my future opportunity to witness.
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Right? You jump in, you fan the flame, you irritate people, you tick some people off, and then you want to tell them about Jesus, and they don't want to hear from you.
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You've ruined your opportunity, Mr. Contentious or Miss Contentious.
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You might even get punched in the nose.
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Lots of ways you can get hurt when you get involved in a quarrel, not your own, But did you know? Did you know that even Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, while He was walking on the earth, refused to get involved in a quarrel between two other people?
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Did you know that? Look at Luke chapter 12.
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It says, "Someone in the crowd said to Him, said to Jesus, 'Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me!'" At least that's how I hear the tone of voice in that. Like whiny.
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"Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me!" Like, here's Jesus, He's teaching people about the Kingdom of God, He's telling people how they can be saved, how they can have the eternal home in heaven, and obviously recognizing Jesus as a wise person.
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Like, "Hey, you're wise and you have authority.
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Tell my brother not to be such a hog with Dad's stuff, right?" But look at Jesus' response.
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"But Jesus said to him, 'Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?'" Jesus didn't come to be an arbitrator, He came to be a Savior.
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Do you know Him as that? Do you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
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That's the bigger issue today than grabbing dogs by the ears.
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You can know Him today if you don't. He didn't come to be an arbitrator, but Jesus, can you settle this dispute?
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And basically Jesus said, "Hey, hey, not my business.
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That is not my business." And He just kept walking. So I would suggest to you, if that was how Jesus Christ, when a passing dog came right up to to him, Jesus, the only person in history who absolutely, 100%, could and would have given a righteous verdict. Basically, just say, "That is not my business." That's how Jesus responded. Why would we think we should respond any differently? So it's foolish, it's hateful, it's dishonorable. And number four, lastly, the Lord hates it.
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The Lord hates it when we are meddlers. We don't often do this, but I want you to I'm going to turn back to Proverbs 6.
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You've got to see this.
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Proverbs 6.
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Look at verse 16.
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It says, "There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to Him." That's just a figure of speech in the Hebrew.
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He gives a list of seven things here.
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These are things that the Lord hates.
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"Hotty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, A false witness who breathes out lies.
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Look at the last one.
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One who sows discord among brothers.
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Sowing discord is on the list of things that God hates.
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And that's exactly what a meddler does.
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Because remember we talked about the motive.
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A meddler's endgame is stirring the pot.
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It's causing strife.
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It's sowing discord.
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The Lord hates it to the point that He calls it an abomination.
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I really honestly could have started the sermon, started the list with this.
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Like, "Hey, don't do it because the Lord hates it." And I could have just stopped there.
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But the Lord hates it when people sow discord.
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You know, in 1 Peter, Peter talks about the blessing of suffering for doing good, and he admonishes us not to suffer for doing wrong.
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Look at 1 Peter 4.15.
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He says, "But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a..." What's it say, church?
18:56-19:00
What's it say? A meddler. Do you see that list, church?
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The Lord, the Holy Spirit, through Peter, lumps being a meddler in with being a murderer, or a thief, or an evildoer.
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You know what that tells me? That tells me this whole thing about meddling?
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That tells me that this isn't some lesser sin.
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That you're like, "What was the sermon about today?" "Oh, it wasn't about anything really important. Pastor Jeff just told me to mind my own business.
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It's not that big of a deal." This tells me that this is a serious deal to God.
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When we meddle in things that aren't our business, and sow discord, and stir up hatred, it's serious business.
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So, when you stumble across a heated debate in person, at work, in church, online, and you're just so tempted to put your two cents in, wisdom says, "Stop, don't grab that dog by the ears." At this point in the message, if you're like, you know, Pastor Jeff, I'm still like sincerely struggling because sometimes I just don't know whether I should get involved. Sometimes, I'm going to be honest with you, Pastor Jeff, I have a hard time discerning whether I'm wanting to be a peacemaker or whether I'm going to be a troublemaker. I want to help you out with that. I'm going to give you these three questions. Just jot these down. When you're tempted to get involved and you're not sure what your motives are, these questions will help you get to your motives. First question is, "Why do I want to get involved. That's the first question. Why do I want to get involved? Ask yourself.
20:25-20:53
What's your endgame here? Why do you want to get involved? The second question, along the same lines, what do I hope to accomplish? Am I being a peacemaker or troublemaker? Well, what do you hope to accomplish here? The third question is this, am I motivated by love? Am I motivated by love? Is that what's driving me to make the comment here? Am I being motivated by love? Or if I'm just looking to stir the pot, the Bible says that's being motivated by hatred. Get your is by asking yourself those three questions.
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Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers," Matthew 5, 9, because they will be called sons of God.
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And these peacemakers are those who truly seek to live out Romans 12, 18, that says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." In other words, stop grabbing random dogs, all right?
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Let's pray.
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Father in heaven, this is serious business to you.
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When we get involved in things that aren't our business, when we cause more problems, when we're looking to provoke fights and get people even more angry and fired up than they are, you call it meddling and you tell us how much you hate when we sow discord, Father.
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You know, in our day, as we're so connected with social media, as we're so connected with involvement in workplaces and church, it's just so easy to come across so many more arguments and debates and discussions.
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and it's just so easy for us to be tempted to jump in.
21:53-21:56
Father, help us to recognize when that temptation is sinful meddling.
21:57-22:02
Help us to see it for what it is, Father, as a big vicious dog that's walking by and minding its own business.
22:03-22:07
And let Your Word caution us to the danger of reaching out and grabbing that thing by the ear.
22:07-22:12
Father, those of us who are named as Your people, let us, in the pattern of our Lord, be peacemakers.
22:13-22:17
As much as it depends on us, Father, help us to be at peace with all men.
22:17-22:20
Give us wisdom, we pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 26:17
See also Proverbs 18:6, Prov 10:12, Prov 20:3, Prov 6:16-19, Luke 12:13-14, 1 Peter 4:15
What was your big “take-away” from the passage / message?
What do you think motivates someone to “meddle” in something that is not their business?
This Proverb specifically indicates that meddling can bring harm back on yourself. In what ways can you get “hurt” by meddling?
How do you know when you SHOULD get involved in an argument between two others?
How does meddling reveal a “hate-filled” heart (Proverbs 10:12)? Why does God hate “sowing discord”, ranking it up there with murder and theft? See Proverbs 6:19, 1 Peter 4:15.
BREAKOUT
Pray for one another to walk wisely by avoiding strife.