Introduction:
How to Avoid Destruction by Seduction (Proverbs 6:20-35):
- Let God's Word direct you, not your Feelings. (Prov 6:20-24a)
- Watch out for Bait. (Prov 6:24b-25)
- Consider what it Will Cost you. (Prov 6:26-35).
- The consequences are Inevitable. (Prov 6:27-29)
- The consequences will get you no Pity. (Prov 6:30-31)
- The consequences are foolishly Self-Destructive. (Prov 6:32-35)
Proverbs 4:26 - Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.
Moral Fences:
I will not ride alone in a car with someone from the opposite sex other than my spouse or immediate family member.
I will not counsel the opposite sex alone– in a closed room or more than once.
I speak often and publicly about my affection for my spouse, when s/he is present and when s/he is not.
I will compliment the opposite sex on character, not appearance.
I will give my spouse total access to my cell phone / computer.
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
-
00:00-00:04
Open up your Bibles with me please to Proverbs chapter 6.
00:04-00:05
Proverbs chapter 6.
00:06-00:09
Many of you might not know this, but I have another part-time job.
00:09-00:14
And true story, it is product testing.
00:14-00:18
We get products in the mail, and we try them out, and we do these surveys.
00:19-00:23
And then they give you a few bucks for your opinion, and you get free products.
00:23-00:26
We've got coffee creamer and foil and stuff like that.
00:26-00:35
But also, in addition to getting products in the mail, with this, they actually email me pilots for new TV shows.
00:35-00:38
A lot of times they're like an hour long, whatever, I just delete those.
00:38-00:45
But some of them are like 20 minutes long, and they'll pay you to watch the show and tell them what you think about it.
00:45-00:49
So this one show, I did watch it. It was like a 22-minute pilot.
00:49-00:56
And it was this guy, I can't remember his name, shame on me, But this guy, he basically was trying to be like the next Steve Irwin.
00:56-00:58
Do you remember Steve Irwin?
00:58-01:01
You know him talking about the crocodile hunter, Crikey and all that?
01:01-01:03
Okay, well this guy had kind of that thing going on.
01:03-01:10
So he had this film crew and he was like wading through this, he was like in the Amazon, he was like wading through this jungle.
01:11-01:17
And the gist of this show was he was, every episode, he was going to try to find an extremely rare animal.
01:17-01:23
And in this pilot episode, he was looking for this eel that was in the river, in the jungle, whatever.
01:23-01:25
And OK, so he's walking through.
01:25-01:26
And along the way, he finds other animals.
01:26-01:27
He's like, hey, check this out.
01:28-01:33
Well, he, at one point in the show, he's like, oh, oh, look at this.
01:33-01:34
Look at this.
01:34-01:38
And he reaches down, and he pulls out a python.
01:38-01:40
And he's holding the python.
01:41-01:44
And he's like, oh, this is such and such kind python.
01:44-01:47
And look at the coloration on this thing.
01:47-01:49
And oh, look at the markings on this thing.
01:49-01:53
And wow, this is a beautiful specimen of this python.
01:54-01:54
Wow.
01:54-01:57
Wow, what a great find to be able to find this.
01:57-02:01
I'm sure you know these kind of snakes, they constrict their prey.
02:02-02:08
And then all of a sudden, as he's talking, the snake's like, bites him right in the face.
02:09-02:12
And he pulls the thing off, and he's just bleeding everywhere.
02:12-02:14
And he's like, all right, we're going to take a break.
02:14-02:15
We'll come back.
02:15-02:18
And I think they're going to put a commercial in that spot.
02:19-02:23
But when they come back, he's all bleeding and they're bandaging him up.
02:23-02:27
I take the survey afterwards and it was like, what part of the show did you find the most interesting?
02:27-02:28
Like it wasn't the eel.
02:29-02:36
Well, in the same way today, we are going to be talking about something that you may be tempted to play with, but it's going to bite you.
02:37-03:00
Today, we are letting the word of God give us wisdom and warning to avoid getting involved in a relationship, a physical relationship, a sensual, romantic, emotional relationship with a person that you should be avoiding like a python in the jungle.
03:01-03:04
Proverbs talks about this so many places.
03:05-03:08
Proverbs 2.16, she's called the forbidden woman.
03:08-03:10
Proverbs 6.24, she's called the evil woman.
03:11-03:20
Proverbs 6.26, married woman, obviously married to someone else as indicated by Proverbs 6.29, she's called your neighbor's wife.
03:20-03:24
Over and over, Proverbs warns about getting involved with the wrong woman.
03:24-03:29
You're like, "What kind of sexist thing is this?
03:29-03:38
It's always the woman." Well, the reason it's written that way is because it's from the perspective of a father talking to his son.
03:39-03:43
That's why that terminology is used that way.
03:44-04:00
But listen, church, you have to catch the principles that are given in these passages because this certainly includes, ladies, ladies, watch out for the evil men who just want to use you.
04:01-04:02
You get the point.
04:03-04:05
It's a relationship that you know you should not be in.
04:06-04:11
It's a person you know you should not be involved with.
04:11-04:22
And Proverbs gives us many super serious warnings, and I am not overstating it when I say, listen, this message will save your life.
04:22-04:29
And I believe every time we get up to preach the Word of God, I look at every Sunday, like this is the most important sermon ever.
04:29-04:33
I'm feeling the weight of this one, and I encourage you to listen close.
04:33-04:34
This message will save your life.
04:34-04:39
All right, Proverbs 6, if you're taking notes, and I really encourage you to do that.
04:39-04:42
How to avoid destruction by seduction.
04:43-04:44
First of all, jot this down.
04:44-04:47
Let God's Word direct you, not your feelings.
04:47-04:50
Let God's Word direct you, not your feelings.
04:50-04:52
Look at verses 20-24.
04:52-04:53
That's where we'll pick up in the passage.
04:54-04:59
"My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching.
04:59-05:01
Bind them on your heart always.
05:01-05:02
Tie them around your neck.
05:02-05:04
When you walk, they will lead you.
05:04-05:06
When you lie down, they will watch over you.
05:06-05:08
And when you awake, they will talk with you.
05:09-05:18
The commandment is a lamp, and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life to preserve you from the evil woman.
05:19-05:20
Let's stop there for a second.
05:20-05:23
You need to let God's Word guide you, not your feelings.
05:23-05:26
I'm not going to spend a lot of time here today.
05:26-05:26
Why?
05:26-05:29
Because that was the whole sermon last week, right?
05:30-05:31
That was the whole sermon.
05:31-05:33
Get online, you can listen to it again.
05:33-05:34
Here it is.
05:34-05:39
You're either guided by the Word of God, or you're going to be guided by your feelings.
05:39-05:47
But when we talk about not getting involved with the wrong person, this is a decision that you have to make ahead of time.
05:47-05:49
You have to make this decision today.
05:49-05:58
"I'm not going to go down this road." Right now, somebody is sitting and saying, "This message doesn't really apply. I'm just going to tune out.
05:58-06:02
Think about something. This message doesn't really apply to me." Listen, it will.
06:02-06:09
It might not apply to you today, but it's going to come up in your life sooner than you expect.
06:09-06:10
This will apply to you.
06:10-06:12
And this is wisdom that you need now.
06:12-06:21
You need to be prepared now, because in the moment that you are enticed by the wrong person, if you are unprepared, it's going to be too late.
06:21-06:28
Verse 24 says, "To preserve you from the evil woman..." Note how God's Word isn't mincing words.
06:28-06:35
"What kind of woman is this? Tell me. What kind of woman is this?" And it's the same principle. What kind of man are we being warned against?
06:35-06:37
What kind? Evil!
06:37-06:41
She's just looking for a good time. She doesn't care about you.
06:42-06:46
He's just looking to be with you, but he doesn't really care about you, ladies.
06:47-06:54
Because when you are ruined, guys, when you are ruined, she is just going to move on to the next sucker.
06:54-06:55
She doesn't care about you.
06:56-06:58
There's two ways to arm yourself against temptation.
06:59-07:10
Number one, right here we saw, "You need to let the Word of God guide your conduct." Right? The commandment, verse 23, "The commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is a light." The Word of God needs to guide your conduct.
07:10-07:19
And also notice verse 20, "Keep your father's commandment, for saying, 'Let your mother's teaching.'" Parents, you need to be teaching this stuff to your kids, all right?
07:19-07:22
I got your back, and I want to assist you in that.
07:22-07:24
But this has to come from the parents.
07:25-07:28
Parents, you need to teach your kids how to let the Word of God be the guide.
07:29-07:35
The Word of God's guidance is the first way to arm yourself against temptation, and the second way to arm yourself if you are married.
07:36-07:46
If you are married, you arm yourself against the temptation from getting involved with the wrong person by having a really, really, really, really, really healthy marriage relationship.
07:46-07:51
Do you guys know what I'm talking about? If you know what I'm talking about, say "Amen." Okay, you know what I'm talking about.
07:52-07:57
If you're still not sure, we had a sermon on this years ago from Proverbs 5.15-20.
07:57-08:04
It's on our website. Just go to our website and do a search for a sermon called "Drink Up." Alright? Have a healthy marriage relationship.
08:04-08:06
But you need to let God's Word direct you, not your feelings.
08:06-08:10
Secondly, number two, jot this down, watch out for bait.
08:10-08:12
Get back to the text here, verse 24.
08:12-08:19
"Preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress." Did that sound smooth?
08:20-08:23
No, actually, Pastor Jeff, it sounds kind of dorky when you say it.
08:24-08:39
"From the smooth tongue of the adulteress, do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes." See that? The smooth tongue, the beauty, eyelashes.
08:39-08:41
Don't let her capture you with her eyelashes.
08:41-08:44
See the eyelashes? They're like a Venus flytrap.
08:44-08:45
That's what her eyelashes are like.
08:46-08:48
It's interesting, you know, the eyes.
08:48-08:52
You can tell a story with your eyes just by the way you look at someone.
08:52-08:55
That's what he's saying to watch out for. Think of the cosmetics industry, ladies.
08:56-09:04
You know, how much cosmetics and mascara and eyeshadow, how much stuff is just about making your eyes pretty.
09:05-09:08
And there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup, but you see the point here.
09:08-09:13
Watch out for the lady that's trying to allure you with her eyes because it's all bait.
09:13-09:20
You see the smooth tongue, the beauty, the eyelashes, it's all bait, it's all worms on the hook, it's all cheese on the mousetrap.
09:20-09:24
It's things so enticing, that ultimately is going to cost you.
09:24-09:26
You remember, sin doesn't look hideous.
09:26-09:29
Sin always looks alluring. Always.
09:29-09:57
And when this woman is looking at you with this beauty in these eyes, you're going to think, "This is my lucky day." Ladies, when this guy coming on to you, you might be tempted to think, "Wow, he's noticing me, this is my lucky day." And it's no different than the mouse seeing the cheese on the trap and saying, "Wow, free lunch, this is my lucky day." You gotta watch out for the bait.
09:57-10:00
And number three, you gotta consider what it will cost you.
10:00-10:06
I'm gonna spend a lion's share of the time on this because this is what the text devotes the most attention to.
10:07-10:10
You need to consider what it will cost you, all right?
10:11-10:23
So right now, right now, if you're flirting around at work, online, you got some coy little thing happening on the side, my wife doesn't know about that.
10:23-10:28
You get this little playful thing with this girl at work.
10:28-10:32
If you're flirting around with that right now, you gotta seriously listen up.
10:32-10:33
Look at verse 26.
10:34-10:41
It says, "For the price of a prostitute "is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life.
10:41-10:42
There's a contrast here.
10:43-10:46
Obviously, he's not condoning prostitution.
10:46-10:50
What he's doing is he's contrasting the cost.
10:50-10:59
Literally, verse 26, literally what this means is if you get involved with a prostitute, you will be brought to a piece of bread.
11:00-11:03
It's just a figure of speech that means you'll become a beggar.
11:03-11:04
Again, it's a contrast.
11:05-11:08
In other words, you get involved with a prostitute, you're going to lose your wealth.
11:08-11:12
But if you get involved in an affair, you're going to lose your life.
11:13-11:30
If you're contemplating getting involved with or continuing physical, sensual, romantic, emotional, if you're involved in that, again, or considering it with the wrong person, maybe you're at the very beginning of that road, you need to make a major U-turn right now.
11:30-11:31
What are the consequences?
11:32-11:34
Let's talk about the consequences here for a couple of moments.
11:34-12:09
I'm going to read a passage from that bring their own inevitable penalty.
12:09-12:13
You carry fire close to your chest, you're going to get burned.
12:13-12:16
You walk on hot coals, your feet are going to get burned.
12:16-12:19
We sort of use a modern proverb like that, don't we?
12:19-12:21
If you play with fire, you what?
12:21-12:23
Get burned. That's what he's saying.
12:23-12:25
Oh, and you think you're going to be the guy that gets away with it.
12:25-12:27
You think nobody's going to find out.
12:28-12:29
You are so wrong.
12:29-12:33
You can be sure that your sin will find you out.
12:33-12:34
Maybe not today.
12:34-12:37
Maybe not this week, but it's going to happen.
12:37-12:39
When you play with fire, you're going to get burned.
12:39-12:41
The consequences are inevitable.
12:41-12:44
Letter B, speaking of consequences, you've got to jot this down.
12:45-12:46
The consequences will get you no pity.
12:47-12:48
Look at verse 30.
12:48-12:53
"People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry.
12:53-12:55
But if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold.
12:56-12:59
He will give all the goods of his house.
13:00-13:08
He who commits adultery lacks sense." Stop there. The consequences will get you no pity.
13:08-13:10
Again, he's not condoning stealing, okay?
13:11-13:20
Obviously, once again, he's contrasting the cost, the consequences of stealing versus the consequences of having an affair.
13:20-13:25
And the contrast here is pity versus disdain.
13:25-13:26
We get this, right?
13:27-13:29
Like, come on, if somebody's starving...
13:29-13:32
We know right off the bat, stealing is wrong, right?
13:32-13:34
I don't have to bark up that tree, do I, Mike?
13:35-13:36
We're convinced on that, right?
13:37-13:38
Eighth Commandment, "Thou shalt not steal," right?
13:39-13:56
We know it's wrong, but if somebody was starving and survival mode kicks in and they didn't ask for help or whatever reason and they're like, "I had to steal because I was starving." Let's be honest, we can sympathize with that to some degree, can't we?
13:56-13:57
I mean, who's with me on that?
13:57-14:00
We can sympathize for a starving guy, right?
14:00-14:03
Come on, just a couple of you? Gosh!
14:03-14:05
Next week's sermon is going to be on compassion, people!
14:06-14:09
If somebody's starving and they steal food...
14:09-14:11
Stealing is wrong, we established that.
14:11-14:17
If somebody's starving and they steal food, you're like, "Okay, that's wrong, but I can sympathize with that. The poor guy was hungry.
14:18-14:24
He was driven by survival, but an adulterer is driven by lust.
14:24-14:38
And there's no pity for that guy." So if you fall into this trap, You ignore this sermon and you decide you're gonna do your little flirty, coy thing on this and it comes back to bite you in the face like a python.
14:40-14:44
And I just gotta tell you, nobody is going to feel bad for you, alright?
14:44-14:50
Despite next week's sermon on compassion, nobody is going to feel bad for you.
14:50-14:57
You know, it's like, "Hey, where's Joe? Has anybody seen Joe around?" "Oh, you know, Joe, he cheated on his wife.
14:58-15:02
And he got kicked out of his house, and his wife is filing for divorce.
15:02-15:14
And Joe had to move in with his brother." "Oh, boo-hoo for Joe." "Yeah, I feel bad for his wife." "Oh, absolutely. If he has kids, I feel horrible for them." "I don't feel bad for that guy at all." And that's what Proverbs is pointing out.
15:14-15:19
The consequences, once this wrecks your life, nobody's going to care.
15:19-15:23
In letter C, the consequences are foolishly self-destructive.
15:23-15:28
Pick up in verse 32 again, "He who commits adultery lacks sense.
15:28-15:31
He who does it destroys himself.
15:31-15:34
The consequences are foolishly self-destructive.
15:34-15:40
He who commits adultery lacks sense." Boy, that is such a tactful way the Word of God puts it, right?
15:41-15:42
How would we say that?
15:42-15:44
Look, if you do this, you're stupid.
15:45-15:46
Okay? You're stupid.
15:46-15:47
You didn't think this through, did you?
15:48-15:49
You didn't think it through.
15:49-15:55
You had, when you started this, you didn't bother to think what the end game was going to be.
15:55-15:57
I'm starting down this road, where am I going to end up here?
15:57-15:58
How's this going to play out?
15:59-16:03
What's this little thing going to look like as it escalates and develops?
16:04-16:07
What's this going to look like in a month or in six months?
16:07-16:08
You didn't think that out, did you?
16:09-16:13
Nobody wakes up determined to destroy their lives.
16:13-16:23
Nobody wakes up and says, "You know what? I'm going to commit adultery today, and I'm going to lose everything - my marriage, my family, my ministry, possibly my job.
16:23-16:30
I'm going to have kids that are going to resent me for the rest of my life." Nobody wakes up and does that.
16:30-16:34
Read 2 Samuel 11 with King David. That's a whole other sermon.
16:35-16:47
It started with David being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and having a lustful look, and inquiring, and the next thing you know, the king of Israel is committing adultery with one of his soldier's wives and gets her pregnant.
16:47-16:49
And then he ends up murdering her husband.
16:49-16:51
And it was this whole thing.
16:51-17:00
But I guarantee you, David didn't wake up that morning and say, "I'm going to commit adultery today." It happens in these little gradual steps.
17:00-17:04
And you've got to knock off these little gradual steps, church.
17:04-17:08
It starts with the flirty Facebook post reply.
17:09-17:18
You know, you post some picture, "Oh, you're so beautiful." and some guy posts a picture like, "Oh, you're such a beefloaf.
17:18-17:19
Just look at you.
17:20-17:24
You're such-- oh, you're--" It starts with these little flirty Facebook replies.
17:25-17:26
That's what Aaron calls me.
17:27-17:28
Not really, just in my head.
17:28-17:34
But it starts with that little flirty Facebook thing, and then it turns into the suggestive text, OK?
17:34-17:35
Because that's not public.
17:35-17:37
That's just between two people now.
17:37-17:39
It's a little suggestive text.
17:39-17:43
And we're using these little double meanings of words.
17:43-17:44
and entendres or whatever that's called.
17:45-17:46
And it starts with the suggestive text.
17:47-17:50
And then it goes to the two personal email.
17:50-17:52
I'm sure glad I have you in my life.
17:52-17:55
I really appreciate you.
17:55-17:58
You're such a strong person for me and thank you.
17:58-18:00
And we start to get really personal.
18:00-18:04
I need to talk to you about something that I can't talk to my wife about.
18:04-18:08
And it progresses to a seemingly innocent touch.
18:08-18:10
We're testing the waters there.
18:10-18:14
Then we're finding an excuse to be alone together to talk, because you're such a good listener.
18:15-18:17
"He who commits adultery lacks sense." You didn't think this through, did you?
18:18-18:20
You know where this is going? Nowhere good!
18:20-18:21
Look at verse 33.
18:22-18:27
It says, "He will get wounds and dishonor." And look at this, guys.
18:27-18:33
"His disgrace will not be wiped away." You will destroy your reputation.
18:33-18:34
Now please hear me. Please hear me.
18:34-18:37
Can you be forgiven by God? Absolutely.
18:37-18:42
The glorious thing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, He can forgive. He will forgive any sin.
18:42-18:44
It doesn't matter what you've done.
18:44-18:46
It doesn't matter how badly you've done it.
18:46-18:48
It doesn't matter how many times you've done it.
18:48-18:52
When you return and receive Jesus Christ by faith, He takes your sin away.
18:53-18:54
And you are pronounced not guilty.
18:55-18:57
That is the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
18:57-19:00
Yes, you can be forgiven by God.
19:01-19:04
And if you're a Christian, you are forgiven by God.
19:04-19:06
Even if you do this.
19:06-19:14
But, though you are forgiven by God, You will never, this will never be forgotten by man.
19:14-19:15
You want some proof of that?
19:16-19:16
This is a meatball.
19:17-19:18
Remember President Bill Clinton?
19:19-19:23
Besides that, name something that his presidency was famous for.
19:23-19:24
I couldn't think of anything.
19:24-19:28
When you think of Bill Clinton, you think of one thing and one thing only, right?
19:29-19:31
And that's Monica Lewinsky, correct?
19:31-19:38
And I promise you, in 25 years, if you mention the name Bill Clinton, what are people going to associate with him?
19:38-19:39
Monica Lewinsky.
19:40-19:53
And I was thinking to myself this week, isn't it crazy that you can be the most powerful man in the world, President of the United States, and that's the only thing people are going to remember about you?
19:54-19:55
That you had an affair.
19:55-20:01
Because the Bible says, "His disgrace will not be wiped away." And you know people personally, I'm sure.
20:01-20:08
You know people personally who went down this path, And in your mind, you always associate this sin with that person.
20:08-20:15
It's sad, you know, obviously I look at things through my lens, and I think of ministry, right?
20:15-20:18
Of course, you read about the famous guys that blow it, right?
20:18-20:19
You read about that.
20:19-20:21
And I'm not even talking about that.
20:21-20:30
Aaron and I personally know four pastors, just off the top of my head, four, that got involved in an extramarital thing, and they lost everything.
20:31-20:39
One pastor was a very, very, very successful pastor of a very huge, very quickly growing church.
20:39-20:45
They had just opened a whole other campus because it was growing, and he threw it all away.
20:45-20:46
For what?
20:46-20:49
And you know what really bothers me about that?
20:49-21:08
With these pastors, when they got into ministry, they believed, "This is what God is calling me to do." They believed that they had a call from Almighty God to carry out this ministry, and they were willing to forfeit what they believed was a calling from God.
21:08-21:09
For what? For what?
21:10-21:15
Countless people have thrown away everything they've worked for, for a few minutes of pleasure.
21:15-21:26
And I want to ask you, if you're at the beginning of this road, if this is you, if this is starting to be a little salty for you, I want to ask you, is this how you want to be known?
21:26-21:29
as the guy who ruined his life because he couldn't control himself.
21:30-21:36
"Your disgrace will not be wiped away. Yes, you can be forgiven." That disgrace attaches itself to your name.
21:36-21:38
Look at verses 34 and 35.
21:39-21:44
It says, "For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
21:45-21:47
He will accept no compensation.
21:48-22:01
He will refuse, though you multiply gifts." Not only do you have the reputation danger and the ministry danger, You know, if you're messing around with a married woman, you have another problem, and that's a literal physical danger.
22:02-22:03
A literal physical danger.
22:04-22:08
Do you think anyone has ever assaulted or killed another man because of an affair?
22:08-22:11
Do you think that's ever happened? It happens all the time.
22:11-22:15
I mean, think about this, married men. Put yourself in the other position, married men.
22:15-22:27
Hypothetically speaking, married men, what if you leave work early, and you go home and discover that there was another man at your house spending romantic time with your wife.
22:27-22:29
Imagine that happened to you, man. How would you feel?
22:29-22:30
How would you feel?
22:30-22:31
What if...
22:32-22:32
Furious, right?
22:33-22:35
What if you walk in and you confront this man?
22:35-22:37
And he pulls out his wallet, says, "Look, I'm so sorry.
22:38-22:41
Will 20 bucks make it better?" Guys, will 20 bucks make it better?
22:41-22:46
What if he says, "Well, I got more money. I got more money." How about 100 bucks? Will that make it better, guys?
22:47-22:48
Guys, will that make it better?
22:49-22:53
What if he pulls out his checkbook and says, I'll write you a check for $5,000 right now.
22:53-22:57
Will that take away your anger?" Guys, will it?
22:57-22:59
That's exactly what he's saying here.
22:59-23:01
There's not a price tag on this, guys.
23:01-23:03
You're messing around with my wife.
23:04-23:08
You better be ready to face everything I've got and more.
23:09-23:11
And it doesn't matter what you offer.
23:11-23:19
So guys, if you're messing around with a married woman, her husband, when he finds out, and by the way, the Bible says he will find out, He's going to be just as vengeful.
23:21-23:28
And of course, there's some knucklehead right now listening to this message, like, "Oh, I'm not buying into any of this stuff, and I do got one of these things.
23:28-23:30
I'm not afraid of this lady's husband.
23:31-23:35
He's scrawny and I can take him." And there's probably some knucklehead hearing this and thinking that.
23:36-23:48
And I'm not saying that this angry husband is going to show up and challenge you to a Marquis de Queensberry rules of pugilism, or take off a glove and slap you and challenge you to a duel.
23:48-23:49
It might not work that way.
23:50-23:52
You know, Aaron and I, we've lived in a lot of different places.
23:52-23:53
Do you know what happened in one place we lived?
23:54-24:00
The neighbor across the street was having an affair with another man's wife who lived around the corner.
24:01-24:02
Well, that other man found out.
24:03-24:07
And he didn't show up at noon and say, "Put up your dukes." Do you know what he did?
24:08-24:10
He showed up in the middle of the night and set his house on fire.
24:11-24:12
So, if you're flirting around...
24:12-24:15
By the way, it's not funny, but it's kind of funny.
24:16-24:30
He set the guy's house on fire, this guy that his wife had an affair with, he set his house on fire, and then he stood out at the end of the driveway directing the fire trucks and EMTs, like, "Right here, here's the fire!" And I think maybe he thought that was his coverup.
24:30-24:31
Right, like, "No, it wasn't me.
24:31-24:36
"I was actually trying to help the fire department." By standing in this guy's driveway in the middle of the night.
24:36-24:44
Here's the point, guys, if you're flirting around, girls, you got some little side thing going on, there is absolutely nothing good that's going to come from it.
24:45-24:45
I'm going to close.
24:46-24:49
And I want to close by commending to you some moral fences.
24:50-24:54
These are some convictions that I encourage you to adopt to protect yourself.
24:55-24:58
This is not legalism, okay?
24:58-25:02
Legalism is a list of man-made rules that make you more spiritual.
25:03-25:05
God loves me more when I keep these rules.
25:05-25:07
That's what legalism is, and that's not what this is.
25:08-25:14
Legalism is judging someone based on a man-made set of rules, and that's not what this is.
25:14-25:20
You're like, "Okay, well then what is this?" These moral fences, it's making no provision for the flesh.
25:21-25:23
It's giving no opportunity for temptation.
25:24-25:28
It's living above reproach. 1 Timothy 3.2, Titus 1.7.
25:28-25:41
If you're looking for a Proverbs verse to sort of hang all of this upon, Proverbs 4.29, "Ponder the path of your feet, then all your ways will be sure." I want to encourage you to adopt these things.
25:42-25:43
Add some of your own.
25:43-25:47
These are convictions that I want you to adopt these to protect yourself.
25:47-25:51
I'm not enforcing this, obviously. I'm encouraging this.
25:51-25:52
The moral fences.
25:52-25:58
Number one, I will not ride alone in a car with someone of the opposite sex other than my spouse or an immediate family member.
25:59-26:05
Number two, I will not counsel the opposite sex alone in a closed room, or more than once.
26:05-26:09
I would add to that, this includes meeting alone for lunch or for coffee.
26:10-26:14
Just you and a member of the opposite sex who is not your wife or is married herself.
26:14-26:15
You get the point, right?
26:16-26:23
I counsel men, and I counsel married couples, and I will even counsel teens with their parents with them.
26:24-26:26
I will not counsel women. Why?
26:26-26:31
Remember I told you, Aaron, and I know all these pastors personally, you know where the affairs started? Counseling.
26:32-26:33
I don't counsel women.
26:33-26:45
If there is an extreme circumstance, which has happened a couple of times, I will counsel a woman one time with Aaron present or someone else present, one of the elders or somebody, one time.
26:45-26:50
And then I will connect you with another woman in the church or I will refer you to a female counselor.
26:50-27:00
Number three, I speak often and publicly about my affection for my spouse when he or she is present or when he or she is not present.
27:00-27:02
You gotta let people know you gotta keep that out there.
27:02-27:03
I am committed.
27:03-27:04
I am committed to my spouse.
27:04-27:05
I am committed.
27:05-27:10
Number four, I will compliment the opposite sex on character, not appearance.
27:10-27:13
Okay, compliment the opposite sex on character, not appearance.
27:13-27:16
You did a great job in your ministry.
27:16-27:19
Now you really have great compassion for children.
27:19-27:21
I appreciate the way that you teach or whatever.
27:22-27:26
Not, well, your hair looks really great that way or that dress looks so nice on you.
27:26-27:32
You can't plant seeds that could be interpreted as suggestive or flirty.
27:33-27:37
Number five, I will give my spouse total access to my cell phone/computer.
27:38-27:48
Your wife should have access to all forms of your electronic communication, whether it's texts, Facebook messages, email, whatever.
27:49-27:51
Guys, your wife should have total access to those things.
27:52-27:55
Ladies, your husband should have total access to those things.
27:56-28:03
Speaking of, personally I make it a practice of CCing someone else when I need to send a personal email to a female.
28:03-28:06
I'll attach my wife to it, I'll attach Brooke to it.
28:06-28:11
Sometimes Brooke's like, "Hey, why did you attach me to that email?" Just because I wanted a witness, right?
28:12-28:13
I've attached Mark Ward to emails.
28:14-28:15
I would commend that to you.
28:16-28:18
Give your spouse total access to your cell phone, computer.
28:19-28:22
Okay, you get the point. That was the introduction. Here's the sermon.
28:22-28:24
You can play it safe, or you can play with fire.
28:25-28:27
But as for me, my wife is worth it.
28:27-28:29
My testimony is worth it.
28:29-28:31
My ministry is worth it.
28:31-28:34
And most of all, my walk with Christ is worth.
28:34-28:35
How about you? Let's pray.
28:36-28:46
Father in Heaven, we live in a day more than ever where communication is so easy, and opportunities to get involved with the wrong person - it seems easier than ever.
28:47-28:49
Father, I pray for this church. I pray for myself.
28:49-28:59
That You would burn this sermon on our brains, is when we would be tempted to get involved in some little thing that we know we shouldn't.
29:00-29:02
I pray that You would bring these warnings to mind.
29:02-29:05
God, we thank You that You love us to give us these warnings.
29:05-29:09
God, we thank You that Your grace is greater than our sin no matter what.
29:09-29:12
Father, I pray today is that ounce of prevention.
29:13-29:23
I pray that today is a day that hearing this message, and when this goes online and people listen to it, I pray that You would use this to save lives.
29:23-29:26
Thank you, Father. We pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 6:20-35
What was your big “take-away” from this passage / message?
List the consequences this passage lays out that people will face by getting involved in a wrong relationship.
If the danger is so obvious, and so devastating, why is this temptation so alluring?
What “moral fences” have you implemented to protect yourself?
BREAKOUT
Is there an inappropriate relationship that you have been flirting with? What do you need to do to repent?